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e- eillll YV Ir1. JIARTIS Sl. KE.VDRIC'K, "B ESL RB YOU RE RIGHT, THE 00 A H IA D." CrOldt. Proprietor. TO1 L no 7 i. El asat I'll 1111 I i i t I V 1 1 p IUJ ijrM IMI 1M1 yTiyl'W' "War'a Yure Ho" ike ecl A New Orleans correspondent the "spirit" furnishes the "Delta,", with the following amuseing storj. It "c'enamott" put our nose out of joint. V Some years since, when (lie State of Missouri was considered Fir West there Jived on the bank of the river of the same name ol the State, a sub stantial farmer, who, by years of (qil, had accumulated a tolerable pretty pile of castings: owing, as he said, principally to the fact that he didn't raise much taters anu inyuns, but rite smart of corn. This farmer, hearing that good land was much cheaper fur- tner soutn, concluded to move there Accordingly, he provided his oldest son with a good horse, and a suffici ency of the needful to defray his trav elling and contingent expenses, and instructed him to purchase two hun dred acres of good land, at the lowest pusiiuie price, ana to return imme diately home. The next day Jeems started for Arkansas, and after an absence of six weeks returns home. 'Well Jeems,' said the old man, 'Ilow'd you find land in ArkansawT 'Tolerable cheap Dad.' 'You uid'nt by more than tu hun dred acres did you Jeems?' No Dad, not over tu hundred, 1 reckon.' 'How much money have vou rot left?' . 'Nary red, Dad, cleaned rite out.' 'Why, I had no idee travelin was spensive in them parts, Jeems.' Wall! le.-t vu trv it wonst.and vnle End out, 1 reckon.' 'Wall! never mind that, let's here obout the land, and but, TIrcrs yurt Hoss?' Yu hold on. Dad, and I'll tell vou an uout it. i usee 1 was agoing along one day, mi I met a feller as said he was going mv way tew ' 'But War's yure )wss? Dod dam mi li'ide, ef yu don't shct up, Dad, I'll never git tu the boss. Wall, as we was both goin the same way, mo and this fellow jined com pany, and 'bout noon we hitched our critters, ond I set down aside uv a branch, and went toeatin a snack. Arter we'd got thru, this feller sez tu me, 'Try a drap uv this ere red-eye, stranger?' 'Wnll! I don't mine, sez I ' 'But, Wtr's you hoss' ivummin tu mm Dime Dy, uau o me an this Closprtn? as W illi the wand of han1ui(t? What sort of a book is thi.wtlialsfven the wind and wave of human passions obey ii? Whrit oflofber engine of social improvement, nas operated so long ana yet lost none of its virtue? Since it appeared ma ny boasted plans of amelioration have been tried mid faikd. monv codn of jurisprudence have arisen run their scurse, and expired. Em pire after empire has been launched on the tide of time, ond gone down, leaving no trace on the waters. But this book is still going about doing good, leavening society with its holy principles cnecring w.e sorrowlul with its consolation strenr 'hcnine the tempted encouraging the peni tent calmiof the troubled spirit and smoothing the pillow of death. Cap Sich a book be the offspring of human genus? Does not the tast ncss of its effects demonstrate the excellency of the pow er to be of God. see 2d Duke Equal protection, my exci llent friend, i this: I gie Peter a shilling protection againf.t Paul, nnd Paul a shilling protection agnin t Peter. Thus 1 bent fit both Peter nnd Paul to the extent ofashil ling. 'ii Dosbtful Stop I dont Hint. 3d Duke How, my intelligent friend? Thus, A gives B a ahil- ling 2d Doubtful Ml be D, cive me a shilling 3d Duke There (gives him chilling) now, B jives A a kail- ling 2d Doubtful Darned if B do On the death of ex-Pres ident folk: BY JOHN rU'EASE. The eajle has stooped fbra hit aery on higi. starlua gone out fronlin path in die iky; Sta'etwin has Men in lis blaze ol renonrn, Hii brow all enci.cled Utli Fame' laurel crown. Punch on Protection. The following, tho intended a sa burlesque, is so neat an expose of the intrinsic justice and practical expedi ency of the "Protective Policy," that we cive it at length: Enal Protection A dialogue be tween the dukes, the dupes, and the doubtfnls. 1st Duke Gentlemen, the object of this meeting is to give equal pro tection to commerce, industry, nnd agriculture. The first thing to be done is to restore the corn law s. 2d Duke Free traders ruining the country. We have had a revolution in every country in Europe mice, the corn laws were repealed. We hnve had the potato rot and Irish famine, since the corn laws were re pealed. We have had short Cotton crops since the corn laws were re pealed. We have hail tho railway mania and the panic since the corn laws were repealed. Therefore it is cleat that free trade is ruining the country. 3d Duke Mr. noble friend proved that fret, ttade U ruining the country, I call upon you, gentlemen, to form a league for protecting everybody and everything nga'nst everybody and everything. First you-must res tore the corn laws, to protect the a hem tenant. 1st Tenant Farmer Huzza! I'll thank you to protect me agoinst John Stooks I( got on, and I II keep uo. I'ss I landlord, my Lod Dook, and thi here shilling's the protective dooty on wheat, (unns and exit. 3d Duke Impertennt scoundel! Yes, my friends, everybody ought to be protectml ngninst everybody What follows' Why, the shoemak er may pay an extra shilling for his loar, out will not have the power to lav an extra . sixpence on every shoe hu sells' The tailor may find a penny a pound rise on mutton but will he not enjoy bin proud priv Hedge oi clapping a penny a yan: protective duty on every pair of un mentionnbles he manufture? In short, every interest being enriched at the expence of every other inter est, it is clear that great general good w ill be the result. Gentleman what makes the greatness of Fn gland? Gentlemen it is generally Miimitl'd to lie a Dold peaseetry their country's pride and our wooden wollsl uentleman, two . and two make ffve, nnd not four, as ynur economists (loud laughter) would have you believe; arid the cause of the Goodwin Sands is well known; w hat is the cause, gentlemen? Why, Tenterden steeple. (Immense cheer ing.) Then let us get rid of that cursed Free Trade, w hich is our Ten terden stceplu. (Terrific cheering by the Dupes. The Doubtful shake their hands. Meeting brake up in uttc confession of ideas, great en thusiasm and pro loud conviction, ex cept as excepted.) Then hid'ow hii prart lay tfcn down in hk rart Where Memory shall walr the turf on ana bieaM, And the rolt winds of auifcier aich o'er bn - repose Inhw own Tennessee, wlVa the Cumber land flows. f tl is name ia eflrol'ed Willi rlh mightr name That G ory or Country alii hand duwn to fame, IntcrwoTe in the anna!s of thl brave and the free, To ech forever from ea un'Uea. Chase by a Locomotive. The follow iug is a "Iloosier's" description of his first sight of a loco motive, and his adventures conse quent thereon: "1 cameacroos through the country and struck vour mlroad, and was playing it at about four knots an hour. Aow, I heard tell about locomotives, but never drcalried of seeing one alive and kicking: but about tw o miles from here I heard something coming, coughing sneezing end iliunduring, and 1 looked around, dure enougn, there she cotnes down after me, paw ing the airth up, and splitting the air wide open, with more smoke ana lire flying than orto come out of ahundrd burning mountains. There was a dozen wagons loiierin Yo(iii in the Cabinet. The correspondent of the Balti more Clipper, a Taylor pajier, wri ting from this city tinder date of Jun 30, has the following paragraph: Col. Gardner, the present city post master, entered the army in the satn year with Gen. Taylor in 1S03. They are old acquaintance, but this was no guarantee for his continuance (in office, and he has to go cut of it. Mr. W. A. Bradley.-his tneeessoT, will be rocollectcd, was nlominated by Mr. Kwing for Commishionct of Public Buildings, and voted down in . , the cabinet. This appointment was backed up strongly by Col.Seaton, of : the "Jiationaf Intellieencer," it ia II career wa alt finished, his lairela werawon When the race of tha fwcni ia scarcely begun; And the finger of Glory tlullpolt to hie name As ilia grjrnesl in j eare, but lie equal fame. While red Buena Wata loenwaurtin the fijht Like a meteor's blaze in Ilia darktm of night ; hi!o the gales of the mountai nslhir secrets unfold. While California o'erflowa wilh riere of gold; in next parish. J I is lands twice as good as mine, and his poor feller sot tlinr, sorter ,rMes onl' na" ours- 1 WR,lts R Prv torkin, and then he sez, 'Strancer, let's play a leetle game of Seven-up,' a t akin out uv his poket a greasy, round cornered deck uv kcrds. Don't kecrefl duz, sez I. So we set up aide of the stump, on kummenced to bet a quarter up, and I was 'slaving him awful! , But, IFWs yure hoss?' 'Kumrnin tu him, Dad! Bimc-by, luck changed, an he got tu winnin, and pretty sune, I hadn't narynuther dollar. 1 hen, sez he, 'btranger, 1 II gin yu a chance tu get even, an play yu one more game., Wall we both plaid rite tite that game, I sware, on we was both six and six, and' 'War's yure hoss?' 'Kumrnin tuhim. Pad! We was six and six, and 'tvvns his deal ' Will yu tell me War'syoue hoss?' said the old man, gcttin riled. 'Yes, wo was six nnd six, and he turned the jack.' War's yure hoss?' 'The stranger won him" a-turning Vial jack!' LITTLE UN. The Ilible. tective duty ol ten shillings a qunrtft or i can never compete wnn jonn Stooks. Enter me for ten shillings duty. 2d Tenant Farmer I shall want r, A Washinton correspondent of the Baltimore Clipper contends, that sometimes (rarelv) President Taylor undertake to decide on appointment but admits, as the general rule, that ho either transfers ttiem to his Secre tary, or, when the hi "her officers are to be decided on, the majority "decide or advise, and the President acquiesces that this is nothing lesn than a vole." And he states, the reason to be this that beinj; "un- hentninted with affairs of state, ha !.. . J." ,( ' vivieen stiiuin a quarter, tor mere om necessity, must confidrtto oth- t parsen o' next partsft to ournflrs duties which former Presidents have set em alio deep drainin and ,erfirmed themselves." This is. in How come it that this little volume fcomposed by humblo men. in a rude ire. when art ond science were but in their childhood, has exerted more influence on the human mind and on the social system, than all tho other books put together? Whence comes it that this book has achieved such marvellous changes in the opinions of mankind has banished idol wor worship has abolished infanticide has put down polygamy and divorce; exalted the condition of woman- taisad the standard of public morality created for families that blessed thing, a christian home and caused ift mere triumphs by causing benev olent institutions, open and expan- a guanorin', and a copperlitin', and a gettin' twice out o' the ground what we be gettin', and I can't grow agin 'em at less nor vivteen shiilin.' So book me for vivteen shiilin' my lord. 3d Tenant Farmer Aw've never na market within a hall-score mile o' me, and thete's Simon Trapstone have only a mile to carry to my ten, and so I doan't think six shiilin' onreasonablu agin Simon Trap- stone. 1st Doubtful Hilloa, measter! I do bay my corn o' you, and I aren't a joing tu pay six shtllen' a quarter more lor all the Simon Trapstone in Esex. 1st Duke Hush, my friend; your turn will come next lsl Shoemaker I can't make shoes againist '1 nomas Lapstonei under a shilling a pair protection. Tom don't go to the public house, and works over hours, Ilt's ruining me.'s lie ain't taxed as I am, pav- ingixpence a day to government, excise duty for spirits consumed on the premises. So put em down at a ibillin a pair extra. 1st Tenant Farmer Stop there. Tom made these here top-boots for ma. You don't think I'm a goin' td pay yeou twenty-seven shiilin' a pair when I can get 'em of Lapstone lor twenty six9 2d Duke My worthy friend you are protected. We go for equal pro tection. 1st Doubtful Please, my lord dnke, what is equal protection. aleej, giving up the whole question that (lie cabinet is the President and that a cabal controles the ad ministration. Let those who brought the country to this predicament, and appointed a man w-ho is totally un acquainted with the offairs of state and therefore is a nose of wax in the hands of a cabal, be held responsible While the aweet nr. me of Freedoms our glory ana pria -, hilt the broad wave of Empirt rolls up I ke a ti do, While new Siatra, like new etarsl on tha Imriznn shall ahine, What name shall be brighu r tniblajjuled t!,an thine! Then hallow hie grare lay himdotyi in hii re"'. Where memory shall water the ttif tn hie breaft, And the f"t winds uf summer sigh let his repi'sc, I In his own Tenneesre, where the Cumlcrland flown. Wfiiin(3Toncitt, June 'JO, 184!). ' A Ray of Astronomy. ':Ca:ar," said a negro to a color ed friend of his. "w hich do you think is de mose useful of de comments de sun or de moon?" "Well.CIrm, I don't think I should be able to answer dat question, e?in as how I nebcr had much book larn in." "Well, Cirsar, I'speck de moon or ter take de fust rank in datparticu lar." "Why so, nigger." "Because de moon shines in de night when we need de light, and de sun shines in de day time wheo do light am ob no consequence." "Well, Clem, you is de most Jam ed darkey i ever seed ; 1 guess you used to sweep out a school house for a libin." said; end Mr. Jacob Gideon, whos r, arterjier, and to save her tamal black son is the publisher of the vRcpub- , smoky noisy neck, she couldn't get 'lie," was preferred by Mr. Collatner, clear of them. I don't know whetherl We all expected that ! Sideon ' they scares her up or no, but here sho! would be appointed, nit .aips wcra come foaming at the mouth, with her in the hands of the other (..avers, and ; teeth full of burning red coals and people say the old orgam triumphed", i she pitched right straight at me like a over the new. t thousand of brick. 1 could'nt stand When the friends of Gen. Taylor it any longer, so I wheeled round and ' state publicly that appointments ora . broke down the road, and, oegan to determined by vote in the cabinet, w . make gravel fly "in every direction; no j think it is neither creditable nor hon sooncr had I done that than she split j orable in the w hig press to cha rge us right after me; and every jump I made - with misrepresenting Gen. Taylor. : she squealed like a thousand wildcats, pvhrn we say hehas abdicated th glie began to gain on me comin' up a' cabinet. It is a fact, according to -little hill, but we come round a pint; the showing of his own friends, and to a straight level on the road, bow, 'proves that he is President only in thinks I, I'll gin you gi igcr, ns I'm name. It is disagraceful to the coun. e -eat on a dead level; so I pulled to it 'try and humiliating to the pride of s . r ,i l 1 , . " ........ . tt ... and cot unaer tun speeu, unu mtu every American cnizen. cnion she becan to vein and couch and stamp. Slid Jome on full chisel and made the hulfai Accident at Niagara Falls. A distressing accident, is stated to have occu.reJ at the Falls of Niagara, a few days ago, in consequence of to the people for this gross abuse of, three men attempting to cross the of the Executive power this flag rant departure from the examples of of the earlier President. Union. Crowds of emigrants are going out to the new Territory. The Hotel at St. Paul's is said to be full to over- n.. ; ru,.. ..,. u... view iiiiijj. uirti ii I'tiii i auira imvc tional Popular Education, for the l" the raP'dii; purpose of establishing schools there. An Italim noble being at church one day, and tinding a priest who begged for souls in purgatorj'i gave him a piece of gold. Ah, milord, said the good father, you now jrive delivered a soul. The cOmt threw upon the plale another grce. Here i Another soul delivcied said the prion. Yrs, my lord, replied the priest, 1 am certain Itieyaro now in heaven. Then, ssid the count, I'll take back my money, for it signifies nothing to you now; seeing that the souls have already got to heaven, there can be no danger of their returning to pugatory. K river in a skiii. As they neared tho middle of the river, the current which at present is unusally rapid in consequenceof the projection of the coffer dams on eih- lerside, speedly overpowered their I efforts to resist it and rising, as if to the inevitable death before them, they were swept, storn on m- lheir boat, tossing ! rr,,m nn r.irti in another in n few moments was seen to capsize; the men rose, clinging to the gunwales, and were hurried on, until an oppo sing rock dashed the boat into frag ments. Two disappeared at once; the other wai seen erect, the water tn his knees but in a moment after he was hurled down and seen no more. The Lord's Prayer is the most dif fused production in tho world, being lamiliar to persons ot iuty-three dil i'ercnt languages, inc'uding the Cher okee in Ametica, and theGetboon die coast of Africa. Its solitary ef fects upon mankind has done more to civilize than all other writings put together, becusc it is the essence of all. aith shake. But I kept on before bounding Th the rate ot twenty feet at every steps, till 1 got at a turn in the road, and I was under such headway, that I could'nt turn, so I turned head over heels down a bank by a house, landed cosmollick Into a sw ill barrel, and my feet stuck up in tlie air. just at trie tune me locomotive found that I had got away rom it, it commenced spitting hot water into me; 1 thought in my soul that Mount Vesuvis had busted in some place in the neighbor hood But do you suppose 1 staid there long? N sir, I just walked right through tlut barrel, and come out so quick .hit it really looked ashamed ofit- scr". Now here I am. a real double reviving locomotive Snolly Gloster, ready to attack anvthing but a com- bimtion of thunder and lightning, smoke, railroad iron, and hot water." Parting between Hen. Jaekouaiid Jlr Polk. The Louiiville Democrat, in announcing the (hath of Mr. Polk, relates the following incident: 'J "Wi shall always recollect the farewell between Andrew Jackson and Janes K. Polk, when the latter was ataut to leave for Washington in tho winter of 1815. The old he-1 ro then counselled his friend, and bid him last adieu. He raised his wasted firm erect, andseizingjamesj K. Polk ly the hand said: "Fare well, my friend; I shall never see you againin tnis world. Do your duty like s man, and w e shall meet in heaven." 1 hey have gone hence. May they hold sweet communion in the world of spirits!'' I.entie Woman. The great traveller, JohnLedyard, has paid to woman one of the most noble tributes ever uttered. ,i have observed that, w here ever found, wo men are the same kind, civil, obliging humane, tend'.r beings. I never ad dressed myself in the language of dc ceccncy and friendship to a woman whether civilized or savage, without receUin? a decent and friendly an swer. With nan it has often been otherwise. In wandering over the barren plains of inhospitable Den mark, through honest Sweden, frozen Lapland, rudo and churlish Finland, unprincipled Russia, and tho wide spread regions o: the wandering lar tar, if hungry, dry, cold, wet, or sick woman has ever been friendly to nie, and uniformly so, ond their actions have been perlormed in so Tree and so kind a manner, that iflwasdry, 1 drank the sweet draught, and if hun gry, ate the coarse morsel with s double relish." .- (Mungo Parke, in nearly the same words, adds the same testimony to woman's kindness, that Lcdvnrd does. Taylor Mac Ticket. The following gentlemen were nom inated for State offices by the Taylor Convention ' last Monday 'at Jack1 son. Govenor Gen. Tho. G. Polk, of '. Marshall. See. of State Gen. Cornelius Mo Laurin, of Covington. Auditor Capt. W. P. Rogers, of Monroe. Treasurer L't A. K. Arthur, of . Wairen. AU'y (7e)i7 lion. B. F. Carulh ers, of Carroll. Who wmrt his wife? It was inli- mated to us yesterday that some poor . creature had been mistreating his. wife Although we are almost in credulous as regards the report, still ' being aware that such a thing might by possibility occur, we have consid- , ered it our duty to mention it to the) public in order that they may assist us in finding a satis-factory answer ' to tne question. Benton (Miss) Recorder. Dobbs was a peace maker, and it i said of him, kind soul that in 5.x ing up a matrimonial fracas he got bloody nose from the husband, a black eye from a stone thrown by the wife the little ' children pinched him a relation slandered him, tho i house dog bit, 'him, and finally the , whole pack joined in upon him, and , threw him into the stieet. Since that time he has always had tha ' tidgets when anybody asked "Who). wuipt bis wiler lherecordertreada upon treacherous ground. A well known ex-governor, who resides in one of tha most pleasant" towns in this stale, was a candidate for naval officer at this port, and vis-; ited Gen. Taylor early in March to statu his ease and advocate his ap plication. The naval officers, it is well known, is a sort oi auditor of ac counts, and lias nothing to do with duty on board ship. Alter the worthy ex governor had made known his case to the "second Washington," the latter expressed great solicitude to serve him, and promised to do what he could, though advising the candidate to make known his case to Mr. Meredith, who had these matters in charge. The ex governor replied by stating, that unless tha grneral took the matter in hand him self, as his predesessors had done, there was no hope for him. Th. general replied kindly; and at last, as if to make a desperate effort tra'' discourage the petitioner, he said:-' 'But governor, yon are an old man now. How do you think one ef youryeais could discharge the du ties of an office which will requirs you to be dily geUing on board the. . vessels at the port of Philadelphia?'' The governor mizzled. The anc- ' do'e is authcDtic Pennsv'ranian.