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IqKo Etporttr. ®**»v Tkoimbat *”**» = -• IQBKSOm, It is a very dull week in Russia, ob serves tho New York Mail and Krprese, in which the assassination of his impe rial and unhappy majesty tho Czar is not attempted at least once. Reports from Buenos Ayres show that the Argentine Ropublic is filling up fas ter In proportion than tho United States. With not over 4,000,000 population she receives 140,000 immigrants yearly. It is the effect of a stable, liberal govern ment, and cheap, accessible land. Gold is at 50 per cent. The son and heir of the once proudly independent and jealously, exclusive in tenor Asian state of Bokara is to receivo his education in Russia under the eye of 1 the Czar. Thus the Russian influence, subtle, unswerving, powerful, is grad - ually extending itself over all the broad domain of Central Asia. A member of the Philadelphia Club who has been South for ten days quail shooting tells a reporter that the party of which he was a member got 100 birds in four days, gave them all away to the farmers whom they met, and that, “taking everything into consideration,” the trip cost him $1000. The sport may have been worth what it cost, com ments the New York Tribune, but we suspect that there are frugal-minded yuakers still to be found in Philadelphia who will feel that a man is a goose who spends $1000 for 100 quails, and then doesn’t get the quails. Bays the Chicago Sun: “Among the various reasons why we have no ships is because we have no banking facilities with foreign countries where we desire to build up a foreign trade. Other nations have, and hcnco their merchants and manufacturers can trade. In tho coffee growing region of Brazil, for in stance, there are nineteen banks with a capital of nearly $75,000,000. These banks last year paid dividends amount ing from 6 to 15 per cent. In the last five years we have paid Brazil, through English channels, $206,281,432 cost, or its equivalent, over what wo received from that country.” The diminutive Swiss canton of Basle (city) is setting a shining example to alt the great European Powers in the mat ter of popular education, says tho Paris American Regitter. Throughout the ter ritory not only are the schools of every description free, but tho cantonal government also f rnishes all school books and utensils gratis. Public in struction up to tho point of entering a university, therefore, docs not cost the pupil or his parents a cent. In addition to this universal I liberality the cantonal government nlso defrays the expense of burials. In many other ways, too, does the govern ment provide for the people by the dis tribution of gratuities and largesse in one form and another. Remarks the Boston Commercial: The financial loss which the phenomenally mild winter caused many manufacturers \ and merchants it is impossible to esti mate. Some businesses suffered so much that it will only bo with great difficulty and after a long time that they will be ! able to entirely recover from tho effects of the season’s poor trade. Not only 1 the clothing dealers, tho furriers, and ' the sleigh and skate manufacturers 1 suffer, but many other tradesmen as * TTPlI All a/ wh.’A _( ■■—ouuit uu what an uncertain and conventional basis our whole industrial and mercantile sys tem rests. Should the average tempera ture of the United States be hereafter but a few degrees moro or less than it has been in tho past, or should men sud denly agree to wear entirely different clothing from what they do now, busi ness in general throughout the country would be convulsed, if not for the time being entirely paralyzed. The Real Shetland Pony, The real Shetland pony is only thirty or at most forty inches high. Those , commonly seen in this country are from the north of Ireland, being bread with the horses there, and are larger than the real Shetland for tho genuine pony is difficult to rear. The country of which he is a native is bare, and the farmer is sharp, and when the little creatures sur vive tho rigors of tho climate and the effect of having but little to eat, the farmer values him so highly he only sells him at a high price. It costs a great deal to ship them, and they die on the voyage, all of which goes to account for there being so few of them among dV«K> Tort Commercial Advertiser. NOT AN 014) "mASTEH. Visitor (to butler who is showing him k ^ the picture gallery of the old -“That’s a fine portrait. Is it # That’s the old minus, ” noma an* piscdlan^ WEEX LILACS ELOOJf, When lilncs bloom the winds grow stM, The velvet, deepens on tho hill; The hoe tnrns giddy ns he greets. With long-drawn happy kiss the sweets The lavish, love-flushed blossoms spill. The daisy dons her whitest frill, The oriole his gladsome trill Sings loud, and oft. his joy repeats, When lilacs bloom. Then lives with careless rapture (111, Then henrte with joy of living thrill, And fancy weaves bet golden cheats. Ah! who could doubt the fair deceits? No room for reason thought, or will, A\ hen lilmw bloom. — Tcsse F. O'Donnell,in Once a Week. “TOTE’S” LAST “TAKE." 1 miuiueru H second time, reached out a hand for the wire, thrust the iresh “takes down on it nngrilv, tossed the wire stand back in the box, lifted three entire sheets of loosely writ ten, but very familiar cony, stuck them on the brevier wire, cheeked off the let ters running, and, in answer to a whis tle at his hack, swore under his braath inclined an ear to the tube, and, without looking at the boy, said: “Mt name’s Duncan. What do you want: “I’vs come—they told me I might “Yes, yes, yes,” said Tom impatient ly, “how many times do you want to re peat it? Go to the devil !’’ He turned from the tube and looked directly at tho boy, whose face grew red as scarlet. He was walking away, when Tom railed after him: Come back, here. I Hasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the sap-heads down stairs. Now, what iH it? Speak out.” But speeelk failed Tote at that moment. Ho looked around him ner y mi sly, dropped his eyes and scratched the floor with his toe. He was shoeless and the hair twisted up through the torn crown of his hat. The fore man scrutinized him closely. There wns something in the boy's face—a bright, olean-eut face it was—that he liked. “Wliat is it? Who sent yon hero?” ' “They said yon was foreman.” “Who’s they ?” “The boys t go with,” “Well ?” “I came to see if I could get a job.” A pair of clear blue eyes were lifted to the foreman’s. “Want a job ? What have you been doing?” ‘ ‘Shined and sold papers. ” “Never worked any ?” ■‘I never had a chance-” “That’s a pity! Why, you must be 13 years old, at lenst ?” “I’m past 14.” “What’s your name ?” “The boys call me Tote, but-” “That just suits you. What’s vour sther name?” / “Potter, I’ll oeme again when—” But the foreman’s ear was at the tube igaiu, while his right hand waived the joy to a broken chair. When he turned rom tho tube he looked at Tote keenly, vroto rapidly on a slip of paper, dropped t into tlie elevator, and shut the box lown with a bang. Then he addressed rote grimly: •‘I’ve just fired the third lay they’ve ent up to me in two weeks.” He reach 'd up to a pigeoii hole, pulled out a slip if yellow pajier, wrote rapidly on it. ‘Cornnosing rrwim Knr — April 14th, 1881. "and handing it to Tote, said: “If you’ll risk being the fourth, be on hand to-morrow at 2 o’clock, sharp. You give that to Mr. Peters—remember, Peters.” Thus was Tote “taken on” the Vindi cator. When Mr. Peters came up stairs two hours later, and expostulated with the foreman for employing “that little raga muffin,” Tom Duncan, who was feeling worse, if possible, than lie felt at 2, re torted dryly: “I don’t know an office in town, Peters, that needs a devil more than the Vindicator. We’ve tried three of your angels, and they were all dead failures. ” Peters shot down stairs. It was against the rules to take a boy into the composing room fresh from the outside world, but Tom Duncan had a wholesome contempt for Peters, whom he did not hesitate to designate iih a round peg in a square hole, and in this, as in other instances, ho violated the rule with impunity, saying Peters might sweep all the l>oys he pleased into the business end of the paper, he wanted a boy that could lie taught the difforeuce between a “galley” and a “dump” in J side of six weeks. Tote’s wages for the first three months ! was necessarily small. It w as the only way Poters could work out his revenge, j Peter’s idea of the mission of the Amer ican press was to reduce the amount en- j closed in the envelopes on pay day to , the lowest point. He practiced steadily ‘ at it until 10 cents seemed large enough ] in his eyes to serve as a pivot for the j universe to revolve upon. So Tote's wages, instead of equaling e the throe angels he succeeded, was just ] 75 cents less. The angel’s envelope B contained $3. Tote's day.s labor was i carefully marked on Mr. Peter’s roll as n 87,12 cents. B The difference was not discovered by B the foremen until July was approach- v -1 ■■ ing. Tlmn by Jim merest nCciflrnt, he overheard Tote indulging in anticirtt '■'°b °» the glorious time he would hale U he could be sure of a “day otV." 'F«X bad “nicked up" more in a week than any of bin predecessors had learned in a month. He had very little time b, wuiste. When the hand of the big round clock pointed to ‘2, every man in the 'indicator composing mom knew that they were expected to perform ft given amount of work with the precision and regularity of ao many wheels until a certain point was reached. Then, w hen nature was tired, and craved cessation, and the copy Hooded the foreman’s desk, he grimly gnvo the screw another turn, generally accompanying it with the words: “mil out now lively, boys,” anil tho human wlu e's turned faster. To m Dun mu remarked that when the human wheels in tlm composing room were whirling with all their might and men could scarce find time to wipe flic perspiration from their faces, tnc Uncomplaining, ever bright-faced Tote seemed to grow cheerier. The smallest of all the wheels them, his feet moved faster in obedience to tlm slight est command. He accepted rebuke quite as a matter of course, it was never once deserved. Tom Duncan, looking at his earnest face one morning, as he reso lutely rolled out p oof after proof, felt, a sharp twinge of conscience, and never *^ore at him again. When the last “form" was sent down, and Tote was busy assorting the “dupes” for tlm printers, tlm foreman startled him by saying suddenly: I “What are you going to do on the Fourth, Totei” “If yon won't miss me much-” “Hello, boys! Tote’s asking me if we | can get the pa|>er out without him." T lie laughter made Tote's checks burn. “Never mind, Tote. 1 was n boy onco ! myself. How much have you got to j spend? "I call spend two days’ wages if I’ve a mind to.” “A dollar. A whole dollar 1” “I wish it was -but. it ain’t.” “What’s that, i” The foreman turned to him abruptly. MUM... T rn i .. * otuvi iwin, it » euf*y coimt nig; Flo’s counted it so often there can t be no mistake. Two dollars and a quarter n week is 37S cents a clay—anil I’m to have 75 cents.” The foreman’s face was a study ns he looked down at Tote. “You tell me you have only been ge tting 82.25 ever since you began bore r” Tote nodded, still smiling. The fove j man looked around him incredulously, I Thoee nearest him curled their lips; one I or two laughed aloud. Then Tom Dun can exploded. His wrnth assumed the , usual form, but just when the men be gan to look around, noting the color of i the nir, the foron an checked himself ! suddenly. “That’ll do this morning, Tote. You 1 can go now.” AA hen Tote had disappeared, Tom Duncan stood nodding his head medita tively, then suddenly he turned and said, with an expletive I need not repro cluce here. “That’s Peters all over! But he s got to mako this right. I’ll fetch him.” We all knew what he mfeant. Tho fore man s “fetching” way Mas well known to every compositor on the Vindicator. When Peters joined issue with the fore man, Tom walked down aud addressed himself to the editor. Rumor said his sentences were terse. Anyhow, they struck home. Mr. Peters immediately after these interview’s looked like a man carrying a hump on his back. Whether Tote’s wages were ever lev elled up to the date he began no one in the composing room knew, for Tom was loyal to the office. But ei erybody knew lie was receiving 81 a week shortly after ward, and tliis, taken in connection with the hump on Peters's back, and his breathless condition, spoke volumes. The ^ indicator effected an extraor dinary transformation in Tote. The barefoot boy had neatly trimmed hair, was well shod, comfortably clad, And of ton brought a hunch of flowers to the foreman. The flowers were alwavs neat ly tied Wltill I'nInIVl I (llVAOll lUI'nnnn.1 1 around a piece of paper. The day after the incident referred to, Tom Duncan smelled the flowers gravely and sudden ly asked Tote where lie got them. “My sister sent them, sir. We think you—” “Pooh!” Tom shut him off. “That’s all right, Tote. Provo up that galley with the ‘ads.,’ quick.” That was the first inkling any of ns had that Tote was blessed with a sister. In the hurly-burly of a great business city, the human wheels in a representa- i live establishment often find as little op- ! portunity for the manifestation of pass- J mg interest in each ether’s revolutions cutside of the establishment as the oogs in a metal whapl experience. Accident cne day revealed the truth. 1 Tote had served six months faithfully, when t^e foreman said one day, in tones : oud enough lor one half the ootnposi ors to hear him: “Tote, you can try | 1 four hand setting type to-morrow.” Tote was in the act of lifting a dead ' ‘ad” to the stone at the entrance of the id joining room. The assistant at the I ‘make-up” had called him; he was car- 1 ying the galley with the type in it ‘ vtien the foreman spoke to him. ' He turned to look at the foreman, his ( oot caught under a huge splinter, and * ;alley and Tote went down together. * le lay so still that everybody was * larmed. They lifted him up; there ) ras no sign of a cut or bruise, but he '■ coked like the dead. There was the c lintest fluttering of the pulse. A mete- 1 enger was dispatched for a physician— ' cme one wanted to send another to his * ome, when the foreman frowned nt the 1 uggestion. It was time enough to send } ad news when it could not be helped. 1 'he foreman, finding the physician was n low, sent to the nearest drug store for ! t cme whiskey, and mixing it with j * 'ater, poured a few spoonfuls down 1 * * Tote s throat. TTe was standing up, with a dared look, when the doctor came. The doctor looked at him nar rowly, and advised that ho be sent home immediately. The next day a littsh foil ttpon tho rootn ns Tom I hitman mined a hand, and it minute Inter a young Woman emerged from the stairway, and walked straight to tile foreman's desk. She was dressed very simply in a dark brown dress, tier bat Was very becoming. Her features wet-e perfect soft in their outline and beautiful ill themselves but the beauty nf her expression was the surpassing loveliness that, surprised those who got a glimpse of Tote's sister. She carried a small basket of flowers in one hand, which she placed on tho foreman's desk, said something in a low tone, and with drew. She seemed a vision of lightnnd beauty for one brief minute. After that, every hotly knew that Tote and his sister Florence lived alone. W hen Tote returned to work, three days later, tho comjMisitors on the Vindicator i were resolved that he should have “tho i l>est show going.” Always liked before, 1 he lieeanio a prime favorite. The man that stood in Tote’s way incurred the ; dl w ill of his fellows. ! Tote was at the ease a year— another j 1 hoy had taken his place —when a great chiyigo came over him. He wnsnot less mirthful; there was the same play of j the features, the same imperturbable giHsl will, the same accommodating, spirit, hut there was not the same buoy uuoy. He was ambitious, some said, as his work proved he had a settled pur pose. He became a rapid compositor before lie turned bis 16th year. When ho was IT he was pitted ngaiust the fast est typesetters. Ho grew up a graceful, self-contained, j self-reliant, niaiitv fellow. As his fel- ] low-workmen had opportunity to see j him with his sister, their resemblance 1 | was remarked. Tote Hotter was ns 1, handsome as she. As he grew older he seomod shy ; certainly ho was sensitive. 1 , About this time one man discovered i Hint Tote Potter was “killing himself 1 > j to keep himself.” In other words, lie ( ■ was too greedy for money. Tom Dun | can rebuked the fault tinder, and ever i after the foreman openlv avowed Ids i I friendship for the apprentice. Among j : the few that had discovered how close t i the bond was between Toto and his t sister, none respected Tote’s motives j more thnn the foreman. All Tote’s , thoughts were devoted to his sister Flo’. ] Florence and George to the outer world, r the two were always Tote and Flo’ to , each other. Tote had an aim—a clearly defined aim. His sister slidlMd have , her own homo. She had stinted herself, t walked miles in snow and slush with e thin-soled, leaky shoes, fighting his or , her battle before he was 9. She refused { to be separated from him. And now j there eoidd be nothing too good in this , world for Flo’. , The only drawback to Tote’s plans, in the opinion of Feters, the one man that t never joined in Tote’s praise, was his j fondness for physic. Peters lmd oh- t served him on several occasions emerg- j iiig from the office of the physician who was called in the day he fell. Peters said pi limply that ho was too eager to make money. This coming to Tom Duncan’s ears, Tote’s envelope the next week held $2 more, and never was dimin ished. 1 However, the change in Tote's appear- * mice a mouth after he was his own man, J and stood proudly at his own case, J seemed to give a color to Peters’ insinu- 1 atiou. It was plain to everybody that c Tote w as working too hard. He began with 11,000 the first day ho 1 was his own man, and nobody ever saw S’ his “string” below that notch. It 4 rose gradually until some of liis fellow i h. workmen wondered if there was any I * limit to Tote's working capacity. Pres-! n ently his “string” averaged 12,000 a|{ day, and now and then, when there was ! i; a pressure, and no one could complain f how much he made, ho spurted ahead, , and his “ dupes ” showed that he hail ? averaged thirteen thousand a day, and ? did it easily. * He did not stop there. His average ! rose, until one envious printer called to i another across the room : “Heavens! 1 Erskine, Potter’s going to set the paper ? up himself. Hg has live thousand up, f and it's not five o’clock! ” , Erskine deliberately walked over and J looked at Potter, whose hands moved ?! with the regularity of machinery. Never *. a false nor a nenous motion ; straight, J easy, naturally as a child picking up ? pebbles, Tote’s bond moved from his “ “ stick ” to his case. That night an alarm of fire attended ? the workmen’s attention. The clanging !f of the engines and the multitude of b feet caused many to look out of the ?v windows. The glow in the heavens in- • cheated a serious conflagration. Every- \B body paused and looked out in the di- \ motion of the tire except Potter. One w ef his companions called to him to look ’J1 rmt at the fire. “ I have no time to waste,” he an- “ swerod. The fire was near at hand. It threat sued to devastate an entire block. The entire department was out, and in less than fifteen minutes wo began to set “tire” copy. The copy that night teemed to lie forked right in fresh from he fire. It smelled of the fire. Presently the bell rang, and after that lie foreman’s ear and mouth were glued o the tubes. His assistant had to mark nkes while Tom Duncan vibrated be tween the men at the forms and the ■peaking tube. Tote Potter paused just long enough o carefully read a startling headline ho ifted from the hook. He stood be ide biH ease reading those that followed. Numbers were dead, numbers were lying. The fire had reached several cases of funs gathered from the battlefields rhereon the blue and gray had madly ontended for supremacy. The guns, leemed useless, were disposed of by the lovernment. Those who had charge of hem did not even think it worth while o examine them ere they passed from he possession of the Government into he hands of the private purchasers. ?he purchasers did not dream that the ases contained death charges rammed tome on a battlefield. The copy box danced up and down lie elevator that night—or morning ather—as it never moved before. Tom Juncan’s desk was submerged early, 'lie fire copy rolled over on his assmt nt’s, took complete possession of that, Seri spread over the proof-reader’s ibles. The human wheels never worked so regularly os they worked that morning in the Vindicator composing room. Everybody mopped their heads, faces ind necks. Tho boll kept up a din ; Iho foreman and his assistant flitted From their desks to the make-up ; tho renders had it all to themselves, for no man on a case had breath to spare. The Inst “ take ” was out; tho assist ant foreman and proof-readers were com paring notes. None of them had ex perienced a rush that could be compared with the last hour. Tom Duncan stood inxiously by tho form and called out: “Nee if it’s all up, .lack.” Everybody was exhausted. The only cool looking man w as Tote Potter. Suddenly the bell jangled viciously. ‘‘W'hnt’s that?” Tom Duncan demand ed. Jnek lifted a paper out of the cony box. “It's the namo of one of the victims. ” Jack turned to Potter. “Slug 19.” Potter advanced, took tho paper from Jack's hand with a laugh, and walked back to his onse. When ho faced his rase and was in the net. of reaching for the type he uttered a hoarse cry and fell in a Leap. “Let the form go down without it,” ■slid Tom Duncan, savagely, when he beard that Potter bad dropped like one lend on the floor. “ One name don’t signify.” The same physician who was sum moned to Tote's assistance before lie was given permission to stand at a case •amts speedily to his side now in answer to the call. Tote was lying on tho table whore I’oin Duncan Ltdped to lay him tenderly. His face was flushed ; the very picture >f health. But nobody could detect a mlsation. The dootor glanced at him, lifted both lands in horror, and said, in a strange, iroken voice : “It came sooner than I expect “What is that, doctor?” Duncan •sked in n whisper. “Heart disease,” said the doctor. * He know it was only a question of ime as well as I did." “ How-? ” “ Why,” said the doctor, interrurfinr* he foreman, “its very simple iiow lie Burned the truth. He cauio to my dice after I was brought here years ago o see him. He persisted until I sub Bcted him to tests, and then his fear •as lest his sister would learn the truth, le knew he was likely to drop any mo lent. This will kill his sister. They •ere bound up in each other.” Half the men around the dead boy •ere crying. One man (he worked next d Tote) walked away to conceal his motion. When ho reached his case he icked un a piece of paper that was ring on Tote’s case. It was Tote Pot er's last “take.” He turned it over, ead it, then walked over to the foreman rith it. Tom Duncan hold the paper up where he doctor could see it. It contained lie name of the last victim identified nt lie morgue : “Florence Potter.”—ritts urg Bulletin. t3ie White House Stables. Just south of the White House, liid en in the White House Park by a big lump of trees, is the stable of the E\ eutive Mansion. It is a long, low brick milding, with a largo yard laid with agstones. The exterior of the slablo nd the yard look ns though they were ot well taken care of. The visitors to lie White House don’t know where this table is loeatod. In fact, thoy don’t now anything about the White Houso table or whether there is one. Albert tawkins is the ruler over that stable as bsolutelv ns President Harrison is the aler over the White House. Hawkins as been the coachman of the White louse for a quarter of a century. Haw ins says that President Harrison has le finest horses that have ever occupied le stalls of the White House stable. The resident has four homes. They are Iven icky thoroughbreds. Abdulla and illy are the names of the carriage team, hoy are very stylish steppers. John, horse from Lexington, is used for the resident’s mail buggy. The fourth oree is Lexington. He drags the rougliam. Those are the family hor ss. There are three others, known as le office horses—Dan, Frank and ohn. These horses are used for the recutive work in delivering packages, c., to the different departments. 1 The carnages all came from Indiannp- i is. The Landau is the prettiest that 1 seen on Pennsylvania avenue. The ] idy is painted a rich, dark green. The indows are beveled"plate glass and the mps are silver plated. The brougham Mrs. Harrison’s favorite carriage. The resident’s own conveyance is the mail igon, a heavily built buggy with a i ovable top. In this buggy the Presi- < nt frequently takes an afternoon 1 ll’« ncnfimTintiinrl Mvo — The harness is (dl elegant. It is all silver mounted, but there is an entire absence of initials, monograms or orests. Everything is good and strong and plain. There is no gingerbread work about the carriages or the harness. Paper Overcoats. “If the clothmakers don’t get that man np in the Northwest who lias in vented paper clothing into a trust by next winter he’ll make a big fortune, and millions of overcoats will stay in the pawnshops, where they are now,” said Harry Parker. “ Ho hasn’t got the idea worked out yet as far as he will probably go, but he made enough vests and underclothes last winter to create something of a panio among the yt. Paul clothiers, where he made Ids ftrst business experiments on a big scale. The paper is prepared so that it is as soft as cloth, and the cold cannot pene trate it. My father is enguged in an ipen-air occupation, and likes to exper iment, so he got one of these vests and wore it with no overcoat all last winter with great comfort. Next winter he says he intends to come out on the streets in a full suit of it.”—[Globe Democrat. A DOUBLE EXCORE. Amateur (debutante)—No, I cannot sing longer. Musical Enthusiast—Oh, give us a lote. Poll Parrot (cntreatingly)—Oh, give is a rest. The Roman Toga. Tim toga (tego, to cover, Lat.) wag tho principal outer garment of the Ro mans, and originally perhaps the only one. (Subsequently an under garment, the tunic, was milled. It was probably of Etruscan origin, and yet it came to bo tho distinctive budge of the Roman citizen, whence tho Roman people aro called togati, or gens togala; and conse quently when the Cisalpine Hauls re ceived the rights of citizenship, their country wns spoken of us Guilin togata, in opposition to transalpine Gaul or Gallia brncofltn (breeched, as with the Highland kilt, for example). At tirstit wns semi circular in shape, but after ward, when it became an elaborate and complicated article of dress, it must have been a smaller segment than a semi-circle. It required considerable art to make its folds fall grnoefully. The toga was made of woolen cloth, and ex cept in llje ease of mourners, was of a white color. Accused persons sought]to ex cito sympathy by going about in a soiled or unsightly toga, while those who wore seeking office were accustomed to dress themselves in garments which had been rendered artificially bright by the help of chalk; hence they were called candi dates, or “shining ones.” Under the Emperors the toga, as an article of com mon wear, fell into disuse, the Greek pallium and other garments being worn instead. It was retained, however, for official occasion by the publio function aries.—[New York Dispatch. Her Nose Wasn’t Plumb. I have been making a study of noses lately, and realty it’s astonishing to find how large a proportion of tho noses are twisted to one side or tho other. Try to find the median line of a person’s face by tracing it from tho tip of his nose and see how you come out! Many people who imagine that their noses are perfectly straight would find by a close inspection that those appendages gee or haw a little—perhaps to their amuse ment and maybe to their chagrin. xx x uuiuim uunusi ions a story to tne point. Says ho: ‘-After I had fitted a set oi false teeth to a lady, she exclaim ed, ‘Why! you haven’t got the middle of the set in the middle of my face!’ “1 looked again, and thought I had. “ ‘But just look at my nose!’said she )The middle of tlie set certainly is not in line with middle of my nose.’ “ ‘That may bo,’ said I, ‘but your nose—’ “ ‘Do you mean to tell me that my nose ain’t straight?’ “ ‘I think you will find that such is the case.’ 11‘How much is your bill? I'll pay it, and you can keep your old teeth!’ “Sho paid the bill, threw down the set, and flounced out, as angry ns an an gry woman could be. She went homo, her friends told her how foolish she was, Bhe lay awake nil night, and the next day ramo back, apologized, and had her work finished.’’—[Lewiston (Me.) Jour nal. The Malay’s Solace. The betel-nut of which tho Malays are said to be so very fond is a white nut which looks almost like ivory. Every Malay family lias a box, divided into little compartments, and with a drawer :it the bottom containing a pair of shears. In one of tho compartments of tho box is some betel-nut cut fine with tho shears; iu another several sirih leaves; in tho next some slaked lime mado from coial shells, and in the last some very fine tobacco. At midday, which is the dinner hour, tho family as sembles and squats in a circle on mats, which do duty for chairs. In the centre s a bowl of rice and another of curry. Each one takes a handful of rice in turn, lips it in the curry and conveys it to lis mouth without spilling a crumb. To lo this gracefully is "the height of Malay able otiquetto. Alter all have finished, the betel-box nukes its appearanco and is handed •ound. Each person takes one of the sirih-loaves, which are live inches long md arrow-shaped, and lays it out flat in the palm of tho left hand. Then he akes a little betel-nut, puts some of tho ime upon it, adds a small quantity of ;obacco and rolls tho whole up together. Dion he places it iu his mouth, holding t bv liis front teeth, never chewing it by lis sido teeth, as Americans do tobacco. Hum-you may want to hire him or to ransact some business with him ever so >adly, but lie won’t stir. He will sim ily say: “I have no time for it, master. I uni chewing tho sirih.” Watches Spoiled By Electrieity. If you are going out on the electric ailway you had better leave your $000 hronometer at home and carry a Water m 1 •xr for 41«nwM __..,.1. _ 1 _iS _ around that it is apt to magnitize your watch. Several people complain that their valuable watches have been ren dered useless by riding on the Ecking ton line. This is something that can hardly bo remedied. Electricity will escape. It isn’t like a bulldog, which can be chained up nud tagged. Iuvisi ble and impounderable, it makes its way from tlie wires which conduct it into the very air itself and the delieatoly con structed wheels of a watch catch it upl Then the cogs and pinions are held hack by its subtle force until the value of the watch attaked “as a timekeeper* is destroyed. There are some non magnetic watches made now which seem proof against such dangers, and non-magnetio eases are also put out, which prove equally serviceable. But it is well to observe the precaution not only on electric railr. ads, but when near the dynamos of an electric-light plant. —[Washington Post. A GliKATFUO HEART. “Give me three cigars for a dollar,’* said a pink-shifted young man in Jhe Hbtlinun House. Then lie tooled luxuriously up to Woodlawn, and, gazing at liis father’d gra\o, tears of gratitude swelled from liis eyes as he thought of all the old man had done for him.—[New York Ttifn. John He Any, at Columbus, O., going iu swimming with somo companions, dived into twenty feet of water and never came to the surface. When hia body was recovered it was found en tangled in the meshes of a lot of loose wire, into which lie had plunged, and * which had held him down. r ; Jy