The Pearl River banner., April 21, 1838, Image 1

About The Pearl River banner. (Monticello, Miss.) 1837-18??

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THE BEAUTIFUL HUMP.
Jfelodlous Slstersl gracious Nine-!
O'er me thy inspiration fling,
Since far too blest a fate is mino--'
'J'liO beauties of the llvur to sing.
Tub Homp! ! what crowding thoughts wise,
What forms of beauty gwet mitO-yes;
What bags of bran or feather!, full,
And some perchance too, stuffed with wool,
fieforo my datxlcd vision trcne, ,
At thy inspiring, lovely name !
In aucienOore we faii nomeniiori'
Of this most eautiful invention,
And hence conclude, what Homer Ulll
Of Helen and the Grecian belles, .
Is a mere fib 5 for who I pray,
In this gUant, enliglittned day,
Would wage a ted;ous,tcn year1 war, ,(
Tor any belle he ever saw,
If the fair dome should chance to laci,
A Hump f Beauty on her back f
.
Poor Venus' claims our jest compassion.
For though with her, aonr dared to yie
Yet, in her day, 'twas not th fashion,
A Hump upon th back to tie.
The Grtces, too, wert jfretty treatures.
"With lilly skin ind comdy fcures, ..
With swan-like limbs, roond and plumps
Vet what of these 1 they had no Hump.
When nature firtt produced the Fa!r,
Mong other things, it was her caw ,
1(Ai the fair form, in beauty grew,)
To shape their back both straight and truc
Eiceot hdwd, when in a whim, . .
-- i. r.i. . i
;' Somountouth dwarf, or monster grim,
Che favors -fc ith a sweiiert sacs, .
Tcwched high in honor on the back !
But in the days of Wondttous light, "
Taste rises in her power and might,
And disappwing Nature's plan,
6h forms a fcag of wool or bran, ,
And where ski thisAs the Hump should be,' ,
Straight in that place, a Ifcwp jotfll see ;
The names with which the Humps abound,
Are fuB of sease a well as ouBd
IJothiig sified l' sure, ,
Than Bishp, BusUe, Tourneurl ,
And if went sour, old fashioned dame,
l Should tartkask, what's in a name?. .
Ve'd answer that I cannot Kan,
Jut Ma'am the thing is full f bran !
' New listen me, lady dtir, ,
A word, I'd whisper in your ear:
Why be so partial to one spot
Why Hour one phett and others not?
' if in a Hump, such"beauty lies, '
As a true friend, I'd you advise,
To raise thiHtiMP oneperif place, f ,
And then you'll be all over grace t .
'Then if we, beauties wish to find, t ,
We need not always, l"ok behind ! ! I."
, jo THE PRESS. .
Oorrnandiier, always needing. '
Hungry grown by eonstant feeding, ',
X Down tby rav'nous maw '
l?w births, murders, and marriages,
Wfvjf foplings, lore of sages, ' .
y ruict love and lav.. ' t
'r; 'V- ,
In valo essays to cram thee,"! ,
Tbottwsic,rtrf, enough to damn the,
And then gformort, ' . . ,
KoW while mjAd brow is reeking,
J&erecemes thyroid ,deTUCcki ,
v . WbuJH7devc '
A HOLY PACK OF CARDS.
) One ; Richard " Middleton, a
sotdieK attending divine service
with the rest of the, regiment in
a church" in Glasgow, instead oflstddier well, gave him apiece of
.pulling out a plble to ( find the
parsons text, spread a pack of
cards before him. This behavior
was observed by the clergy man
and sergeant of the company to
Whidh he belonged. The latter
ordered him to put up the cards
and on his refusal conducted
. 1 . i i
I mayor, and preferred a formal
Richard's inde
icent COnduCt.
Well, soldier,
IcoM ' iUp maror what' excuse
h-,iVrvou to offer? If yon can
mate aD BPOlOgt'. It IS ; Well, if
! icrM.fl. Since vour honor has
ibeeb so eood I replied; Bichanl,
nmniit ITIP t(l gnRSk for iTIT"
self, an't please your worsnip, 1
have been eight, days on me
march witti the bare allowance
of sixpence per day, and conse-
qently could not have a bible
or any other good book ? on say
ing tliis, Richard ; draw out his
pack of cards ana presenting
one of the : aces to the mayor,
contiuinc his address to the ma
gistrate asfollowsJ.VY hen I see
ii ace, may it please your hoh-
or. it reminds me that mere is
. . . . . .
one God," and when i look upon
two or three, the former puts me
in mind of the Father and Son,
and the latter of the Father,
Son. and Holy Ghost V a . four of
the four EvanKelists, Mathew,
MatkV Luke, and John ; a five of
thfi fivp. wise vircins who were
ordered to "trim their lanns,
Iftrrcre were ten indeed.i but fivf
l I..- i i
vonr wors mc may, remciuuer
were wise and five were fool
ish C a six, that in six days God
created heaven and earth ; a se-
ven, that on the seventn uay ne
rested from all that he had
made; an 5ght,of the eight
righteous persons who were sa
ved from the deluge, viz: Noah
and his wife and three sons and
their wives; a nine, of the
lepers cleansed by our Saviour,
(there were ten, but only nine
offered his tribue of thanks;)
and a ten, of the ten command
ments. Richard then took the knave,
placed it before him, and passed
on to the queen, on which he
observed as follows: the queen
reminds me of the queen of She
ba, who came from the utter
most parts of the ear'h to hear
the wisdom of Solomon, as her
companion the king jdbes of the
great King of Heaven, ana 01
King George the Second.
Well, returned the mayor,
you have given me a good des
cription of all the cards except
the knave. If your; honor will
not be angry with me, returned
Richard, I can give you the
same satisfaction on that as on
anv in the pack. , No, said the
MWor: Well, returned the sol
dier, the greatest knave I know
is the sergeant who brought me
hfifore vou. i I don't know, re-J
plied the mayor; whether he be
the greatest knave or not; but I
am sure he is the greatest fool.
The soldier then continued as
follows When 1 count the num
ber of dots in a pack in a pack
of cards there are 365 ; so ma
ny davs are there in a year. 1 he
cards In a pack are52j so many
wteks are there in a year.--When
I reckon how many tricks
there are in a pack, I find there
are 13 ; so many months are
there in a year. So that this
pak of cards is both biWe, al
manack, and prayer book to me.
The mayor called his servants,
oraeren tnern ta enieritin me
money, and "said he " " was the
cleverest fellow, he e vet heard
in his ti(e.;f''.f::f
From the JV. Y. 'Etptess.
i; Mr. Booth the Tragedian.
Out readevs will many of them
recollect that Mr. Booth; has at
times, been the subject of a mel
ancholly insanity, but for - some
time past he has exhibited - no
"symptoms of a return of the mal-
ady, so that ms menus conn
dently trusted in his complete
recovery. But the . following
account from the Charleston
Courier, itjappears tviat tiis in
sanity has returned, and tame
near resulting in the death of hi
friend Mr. Flynn::
. "He 4was in company with
Mr. Flynn on Saturday, Sunday,
and Mon day, and tin Monday
evening attended the thatre,
conversing as usual," with such
acuaintancee as he encounter
ed. After leaving the theatre,
they returned t6 their lodgings,
at the Planters' Hotel, both gen
tlemen occupying the same room.
Mr, Flynn undressed himself and
retired to bed, and soon fell a
sleep, but was aroused between
I and 2 o'clok, A.M., by receiv
ing a tremendous blow; over the
right eye. He sprang up in bed,
and discovered Mr. Booth in the
act of aimng another blow at
him with one of. the cast iron
fire dogs, taken from the fire
place, near the bed, . and, with
which the first wound had - besn
ioflicted. Mr. Flynn endeavor-
tner to avoid the blow, but re
ceived it over the left eye, with
such (orce as broke the fire-doj,
when he leaped from the beil
and escaped from the room, Mr.
Booth in close pursuit, and eii-
deavoring to inflict other wounds.
They finally grasped and fell,
the hercnlean strength of Mr.
Booth, while the excitement of
derangement, giving him the ad-
1 m v it J: 4 i sl ' Tl '
vantage, ine cans oi rar. rH
finally brought assistance and
Mr. Booth Was secured ttit not
until M. Flynn had received a
number of severe wounds and
bruises, none of which, we are
happy to say, are not of a dan
Kerous character. Mr, Booth is
now placed under restraint, and
will doubtless be so kept, nntil
he recovers from his aberration
of mind. '
Education of FemalessThtttt
is a season when the youthful
must cease to be young, and the
beautiful to excite 1 admiration.
To learn how to grow old grace-
faZv, is perhaps one of the rar
est and most valuable arts that
can be taught to woman. And
it must be confessed, it js a se
vere trial for those women to lay
down beauty, who have nothing
else to take up. It is lor this
sober season of life that educa
tion should lay up its ; iresour&s.
Howevei disregared they may
have been, they will be wanted
now. When admirers - fall a
way, and flatterers become mote
the mind will be driven to retire
into itself; and if it find no , en
tertainment at home, will be
driven back upon the world with
inscreased force. Yet, forget
ting this, we do not seem to edu
cate our daughters exclusively
for the transient period of youi h . 9
Do we hot educate them for a
crowd and not for sjhemselves?
-for Bhow, and nor for USe foil
Skswem r the DtcLAKAfio or! Ix
OEreoEvcs.-Of tbt-nfty.i signers tl
tbe DecUritdon of tniiependtMbce, jl
iiaiea idsi nine were born in Amucha
sells; eight io Virginia; fir in Marya(J;
four in Connecticut; four in New Jerse ;
four in Pennsylvania? four in South Car
olina; three in New York; three in Dl
aware; two in Rhode . Island; one in
Maine; three in Ireland, two in Scot
land: and one in Wdea. , ,., ; ' , .
iTweuty-one were attorneys; tn mer
chanto; fuur Physicians; .three ' farmers;
one clergyman; one Printer; sixteen
were men of fortune. t , ' . ,
. Eight were graduates of 7rvard col;
lege; four of , Yale; three if, New Jer.
sey; two 01 Philadelphia; 4vro of WLH
lam and , Mary; three ;of tjarnbridge.foian, upon returning home to hit cabin.
bngtanai twoot iklinburgh; od one at
St- Oners. , '
At The time of their deaths five Were
over rrtnetjr years of age, seven between
seventy and eighty; .twelve between six-
ty and seventy; eleven between fifty and I persons on nis route, be inquired if they
sixty; seven between forty and fifty; one ! had seen a, little old while, man, with a
died at the age of twenty seven, arid rite 1 short gun, and .accompanied by a spall
age of two uncertain. ., 'dog with a bob tail? . They answere'd in
j3t the tirre of Signing tbe declaration, i the arffirmative; and npon tbe Indian an
the average age 'of members' waa forty jswering to them thai the man thus de
four years.. . , 'sctibed badtolen his venison, they de
Tbey tived lotlie average age of tnore ' ire.d to fee informed how be Was able to
than sixty five yers and ten montfes jgive so minute a description of a person
Tbe youngest member was Edward Rut-whom to them, it appeared he had not
ledge, of South Carolina, who was in bn seeo? Tbe Ibdian replied "The thief
twenty seventh year. He lived ;. to be 1 1 know is a little man, by bis having
tbe age of fiifty one. The neit young-ade a pile of stones to stand upon in
est member was Thomas Lynch, of ihe' o'drtoreacbtbe venison from the height
same State who was also in his twenty- at which I bung it while standing on. tbe
sevtnth year. ' He wai cast away at sea ' ground; that be is an old man, ( know
in the fall of seventeen buudred and Sev-, by his abort steps, which I bave traced
enty-six. j . '.;'overtbe dead leaves in the woods, ani
i Benjamin TrankUo was the oldest that be is a' while man, I know by his
member. He was in his seventy first ! lorninr out bis toes when be walks, which .
year when he signed the dedaration!-
He lived until 1T90, and survived sixteen ;
of Ills younger brethren. Stephen Hop-f
kins, of Rhode island, the next oKlest '
member, was born in 1707 and died in.'
1785.:- - ,: r -
Charles Carroll attained the erestest;
acedyiin his ninelvsixtb vear. Wm.:.t'g,hi'fJ bis master was busied abotft
Elery, (f Rhode Island died.in his nioe
ty first year. I ' '
' m
Ma. etrDEiisoN's w,r...-.VYe Up the rear, in Bonaparte's d is-
tinned a few das ago a report concerning . r a
tbe Will of Mr. Anderson, o( this city; astr.ous fctreat from Moscow on
who lately died, leaving an estate wonh one occasion was completely
nearly twomilKonsf dollars. The will , Cut off from the main army ; a.
bas.inceW filed in Ihn court of . PrtH!broad riyer w'aS in frf)nt m
oates. i ne louowing aosiraci oi us pro-
Ilowtne abstract ot its pro
visions we find in yesterday s Herald:
The greater part of the tontents con
sists in directions as to the management
of his slaves the work they are to per
form and the manner tbey must be trea
ted, is sentiments and orders upon the
subject bespeak the kittd and affect ion
ate master, v' i'" :; i
; He leaves $2,000 per annum' to the;
families of bis brothers and sisters. , He
bequeathed tbe same amount per annum,
to lhj Boy's Orphan iyhira the Fe
male j9sylumm the Cbarity Hospital;
the 1 Methodist, Episcopal, Mr. Ciapps
Cburcb, and the Catholic Cathedral -He
leaves 600 per annum to the Fire
man's Charitable Association, lie makes
provision for the emancipationlof all the
slaves born upon his estate within five
years alter his death. He directs that
twenty five years alter bis death a city
be laid out Upon the Destrehan planta
tion, situated on the Mississippi river.
His gives $2000 per annum to tbe poor
of tbe City of Mew Urleans, to be ois
tributed tmder the direction of tbe judg
es of several of our courts; and also
2000 per annum to be distributed a
mong tbe poor ol bis'nativa town in Scot
bnd. J":-' ,:V:'.'N,;! " :". --t-, '-" ;V.y-v
He leaves funds, likewise, for the erec-
tians of a school house and churcnio bis
nativa town and for tbe erection of a
church upon one of bis plantations.
v! RscirROCAt Lov: Tbere is hardly
a morf unamiable feature in the whole
character of roan, than the liht esteem
in which ha too frequently holds tbe trus
ting 'affection of a devoted woman.
What can we expect from the generosity
or truth ol that roan who can repay the
confession of . attachment from woman
with neglect or mdifference! Jesus said
that ,fif your righteousness exceed not
the righteousness of tbe scribss and pbar
isees, ye shall in no wise enter tbe king
dom of heaven;" and yet be confessed
ed that the scribes and pbariseea loved
those who loved them. Indeed, Mhat
love should beget indifference in those
.vbo are beloved, appears to be so iinne
.ural, that if every days experience did
lot wove the exi ence of such n anom
,ly in nature, wa could hardly believe f
Before a virtuous female can be brouglv
profess her attachment to one of tbt
-ipnosite ' sex, she ' must bae - becom,
teeply tnamored; od she then flings
herself, io. Srt measure, upon hiageo.
rpttty. If he then is satisfied with what
H Conceive lo be his triumph, and o.
at-rts her when hi becomes, certain that
it. is in hit power to retain her, he is gui
ty of tpecierof neanunss, so disgrace
lul, iba'tlie forfeits all etaim to the res
peel of mankind.," Bat lelTmit tbe deser. "
ted woman repine at Ibis abandonment ot
her; for be proved himself so utterly un.
worthy of her tenderne, thai she may
congratulate herself on having escaped
ihe contamination f bis, presence. L
btr 7
nerve her lickrt with woman's pride,
And scorn his fickle love.
v Sagacitt or A' SaVacb. -The saa-.
cit of savages often transcends all (list
tbe boasted learning of eclmols and col
leges can show. A Worth American Ia
dacoveT-q that his venison, .irhicb had
1 been hangup to dry. wai stolen. After
taking brs observations on the spot, he set
off. in pursuit of tbe thief, whom he track
d through tbe woods. Meeting some
'Jndian never does. His gun I knew
be short Irom the mark which the mux
'e made by rubbing the bark of the trce
"gainst wbicb it bad leaned; that his dog
is smal!, I know by bis track; and that hat
bas a bobtail, I discovered by the nark:
nde in the tlust, where be was set.
- ;0y mt
' ' 1
' Marshall Nv. aa hp hrnnirfJit
, . . ,.,,
briges over which.had been des
troyed, and all other sides, thd
Russian battallions were press
ing upgn hi hi, with an overwhel
ming superiority i of numbers.-
Under these circunutances he
wascaljed upon to surrender,,
when hp turned that "celebra
ted reply-which alone ienongli
! to make his nme immortal; -
iA Marc Via It if Cro rtft luvo.
.'.1. .Wt.U... V . A IVHVU . V
surrenders !'' 'v;'.;'..,;' ;T
Thc sxst aEvci0K.-?asP0 being
told that be had a fair opportunity of ta
king advantage of a very bitter enemy j
'I wish not to plunder him, said he, 'but .
there are things wbicb 1 wishlo taeta
way from him; not bis honor, bis wealth,
or his .life, but his ill will. ,
Critic jsm or otbers' FABira.Some)
look only for faults in their neighbors
others for merits; the former shake the
tree only to find insects; the latter lo gath
er fruit : We should do both, destroy tbr
insects and save tbe fruit. ;
Busts. -Men submit to correction and
criticism mucb more readily than we sup
pose; only even ' if wo! grounded, it
must not be too passionate. Tbey . arv
like flowers, which open to gentle dews,
but c,Aie to heavy rain ;
Absence of mind another awful
case. The .Cincinnati News
gives an instance wherein a gen
tleman of that vicinity, at-the
dinner-table, took the knife and
fork and carved himselff r.stead
of the turkey? After completely
dissecting4umself, he,asked thtt
turkey with a.comendable po
liteness, what part it would
have. The lack of a reply
brought him to hisssnses.'
The legislature of Virginia think of ta
tying a lax upon old bachelors, for tht &
benefit of such cM dren u bv no (t .
er i: . '''f' . ' '' . ? .' .' '
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