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UJ MX in 1 O ii ABE STEIXBERGER 4 SOXi J1.00 1 Tear in JUrinrr. w QUK AIM : To Tell the Truth, Obey the Law, and Make Money. OVR Motto : Talk for Home, Work for Home, and Fight for Home. VOL. 31. OKOLONA, MISS., WEDNESDAY, JULY 15, 1903. NO. 28. THE REAL CAUSE OF UNHAPPY MARRIAGES. (si Yf ffl vJtujjMuru uivuno case, oaj Jy othy Dix In the Chicago r'fln caQ' tbat ia now disturbing AZr.OM li our Eastern cities la not, as HE real moral of the sensational Camptell divorce case, says Dor- Amer- igone of Mrs. Campbell seems to think, that yon mnotn'fr m a vvr a miHiAnai'pa r 5L-S. that millionaires make the worst -husbands, but that you sHould mar ry in your own class somebody with the same in terest in life that you have and the same tastes in politics and pie. Mr. Campbell was sporty and wanted bis wife to drink cocktails with him, smoke cigarettes and go to the races. Mrs. Campbell wanted him toescort ber to church. Hence the rift within the lute, and in cidently the breaking of crockery. With a good-fellow wife the man might bare been the most devoted of spouses, while united to a nice curate undoubtedly the course of true love would have flowed smoothly to the end with the lady. The case of miamated couples is not an unusual one. Indeed there seems a fatal surety with which people play at cross purpses about this, the most important matter in their lives. The man, for in stance, who is a bon vivant.and fussy about his eating, invaribly picks out a wife who believes in plain living and high thinking, and they wrangle about the table the balauce of their days. Preachers have a mania for marrying flighty and frivolous little creatures, instead of the sister in Israel who would be their proper and congenial mat; while the pious girl who leads the female prayer meeting is foreordained to marry a a rounder whom she will nag into a drunkard's grave. Half of the domestio friction might be abated if people would only marry in their own class, for there is no weakness with which we are so sympa thetic as the one we have ourselves; no taste is fas cinating as the one we share; bo people so interest ing and intelligent as those who thiok as we do; no fault we are so ready to forgive as the anes to which we also are subject. The greate-t follacy in the world is the theory of the attraction of opposites in matrimony. What makes for peace and happiness is agreeability and sympathy, not cotradiction and argument. The people who jar us are those who sing off of our key, not those whoee . voices blend narmoniously with our own bass or treble. The trouble is that too many men marry women believing they can mould them over to suit their tastes, and too man women marry men thinking they can reform them and cut them over according to their own little pattern of goodness. Both par ties wonld save themselves a deal of misery if they would find out before marriage what they want in a life partner insteat of waiting until afterward. It is a little late after a man is married to a saint to to descover that what he really wants is a wife with sporting blood in her veins, or for the woman who deliberately weds a giddy youth about town to find out that her real affinity is a settlement worker with lofty ideals and serious views of life. More than that, it is unjust. If the time ever comes when we grow wise enough to marry people with the same religion and politics, and who like the same kind of cooking we do, the divorce courts will make an assignment for lack of business. . ' . , THE MONTH BEFORE MARRIAGE. OW uselessly the month before marraige is generally spent, and how much it might do to prepare the young girl for her wifehood says Marion Carr Schenck in Medical Talk. The glamour of preperation, the finishing of the trousseau, a round of social events is the customary employment of the last weeks of girlhood. s Perhaps it is difficult for a girl to desend from her air castles and think seriously mundane of things at this time. Everything conspires to give her a wrong state of mind, ner nerves are over-wrought, her body wearied, ber brain harassed by details, and she is kept up to this tension of excitement constantly until the reaction is bound to come. Her girl friends predict ecstatic vagaries, some cynical married peo ple show her so dart a picture that she flies to the opposite extreme in her expectations. No one tells her exactly what she may look forward to; and some times in her almost hysterical condition, which- no man can understand, her new husband unintentionly precipitates a honeymoon quarrel whose influence Baddens many months of their new life together. May I speak a few plain words to these expectant brides! In the first place, remember that after you are married, you are going to continue living in the same world. The days will contain the same number of hours, you will eat the same three meals, dress and undress.go out and come ia.just about as you've done these twenty or more years. Even if all your gowns are new, and you are to live in a home newly famished, your duties will seem curiously similar when you get to them'. The dust settles on wedding presents quite commonplacely and the new frying pan will get just a greasy as the old one at home. Have you brothers or father at home! How do they act at table! What do they talk about! What are their habits about the house! Notice these thing! this last month, and get nsed to thinking that your hnsband will act and talk mucb the same very soon. Whed he comes to see you now in the evening att a lover, be acts and talkes very differently of course, but after you are married, and he goes back to bis office and everything falls into the old routine, he will do just about as he did in his own borne before he married you. Try to be prepared for this. It is as it should be. You could not expect your husband, with his numerous business worries and his new responsibilities, to continue to be the punctilious lover always. Try in these preparatory weeks to realize these truths, so that the change will not hurt you when it comes. For it will come, do not.donbt. Your lover likes you to be exacting and whimsical ana coquettish now. But take your farewell of these things, put fore bearance, thoughtfulnesa and ten dernabS in their places. Remember that you, too, are to assume new duties and responcibilities and that you will no longer be the fioancee waiting for her lover's call in the evening, but the housewife, making a home for ber husband. Do not expect of him the numerous attentions and caresses that are a sweetheart's due. I know yoa would never tire of them; but men do, dear child. Men have not the sentimentality and fondness for the details of leve making we women have. If you must shed tearsthe first time be forgets to kiss you good bye, do so secretly and forget to men tion it to him when he returns This tearful reminder is often the first lesson of a nagging wife. It will probably be necessary to change entirely your attitude of mind toward your lover in this month. Up to this time he has fetched and carried, he has invented a thousand delightful pastimes; every kiss you have granted bas been regarded as the exceptional favor it should be made. But you must prepare your mind for a gradual change. You now are to become minister to him and the way of a man is soon to regard as commonplace things that at first seemed Heavenly dispensations. You. must so alter your attitude in this month that not the faintest shadow of a frown will mar your face the first time he tentatively ''believes he'll go down to the club awhile. There's an important business meeting." Your, face must not sadden, nor your heart fail when you have as breakfast companion the back page of a morning paper. These things may seetn highly numerous to those who have never fac ed them, or have forgotten, but if they come to a girl who bas expected ber husband would continue her betrothed, they are tragedies, no less. And so I say to you, dear expectant brideemploy these last weeks wisely. In sol u tun meditation in prayer, if it avails you; sa change your angle of vision that you are minister, not ministered unto. If you can perfectly accomplish this, your honey moon will linger so far into the day of your married life that the setting sun will find it still present. These things, mundane and unromantic as thej ; are, must not take away the beauty and romance of married life. Your husband is first a man, and then your husband, that is all. But be is a loving, true, big-hearted man, and you will grow to love tneee very selfishnesses and mannish habits because they are bis. That is the secret of married love-not to love your husband in Bpite of his faults, but be cause of them. I know this is all very unorthodox and contrary to woman's rights, but it's the way of the world, and the way .of men. And if we want our hnsbauds to be contented we must not try to reform them, but to make them happy. We must not love what they might be, but' what they are. Good, welcome, home-made bread is far more fit for every day than wedding cake. I know you can't believe it now, but in this last month try to prepare your mind to accept the fact when it inevitably comes. ON KEEPING COOL. UMMEIi bas been slow in coming, but it is here-at last, and seems to bave come to stay awhile, says the Kansas City Journal. The higheat temperature registered up to yester day was 92; yet everybody was complaining of the heat, and there bad been one death from the affects of it in Kansas city aud two prostrations. Many people look forward with dread to the com ming summer. They enjoy flowers and foliage, green fields and chirping birds, bright sunshine and pleas ent pastimes outdoors in the fresh air; suffering from high temerature is a disadvantage which they con sider necessarily connected with the season, and which, in their view, more than offsets all its advan tages. Yet if people generally would take as much pains and spend as much money to protect them selves from the heat in summer as from the cold in winter, July and August might be, even for most of those who are unable to take vacations and flee to a cool climate, among the most salubrious and delightful months of the year.. There are a few simple rules the observance of whicW would rob King Heat a.id his famed leutenant General Humidity, of most of their terrors. Perhaps the three most important of these are: ''Don't hurry." "Dont worry and fume." "Be careful what and how much you eat and drink." Really level-headed people often act quickly pr move rapidly, bat they don't hurry. Hurrying is a thief of time and vitality. It is an especially foolish thing to do when it is sure to cover the body with presperation, melt down the collar and make the disposition irritable and disagreeable. People who are systamatic and deliberate about their work get a great deal done without rushing, either in winter or summer. Those who are otherwise rarely accom pl'sh much, though tbey'hurry until they dissolve into grease. No man who worries can keep cool. Nobody should eat so much or the same things in hot as in cold weather. Food is a feul as well as a fleshmaker, and a man who threw as much coal into his furnace on the Fourth of July as oa Christmas would show just about as much sense and regard for bis health and comfort as do those who put as mucb solid food into their stomachs on the one day as on he other Not only should people eat more moder ately in hot than cold weather, but they should eat differant food. Nature knows what we need in every season. For summer she provides us with a wide variety of delicious fruits and vegtables; and those who persist in devouring great quantities of meat and solid foods, and in continually deluging their stomachs with strong liquors or ice watr will justly be punished for it in suffering from the heat, if not in fever, indigestion and other kinds of sickness. THE DIFFERENCE IN A MAN'S EXPRESSION. and 0-DAY let us discuss cheerfulness ana poiuness tne two characteris tics that make progress and civil ization, says the Chicago American. Cheerfulness and politeness are practically the same thing. They mean a great deal to each of us in the effort to succeed, aud they mean everything to human progress and the general happiness welfare. Recently a young man has been promoted to the general management of the New York Central Rail road. Alfred II. Smith is his name ; he is very young and not long ago be was an office boy. Many reporters haje interviewed this young man, trying to find out the causes of hi- great success. Not one has failed to observe the unfailing polite--ness and good humor of the new general manager. One observant reporter said of him: "He is the kind of man you woufd always like to have around yon He is the kind of man you would be glad to oblige in any way. He could easily get whatever he might ask for." . . Mental ability, attention tobussiness and ' many other good qualities bave helped in the success ' of this remarkable young railroad -man. But we believe that his good nature and politeness bave done as much as anything else to push him' upward. A mistake that many of us make is this : We imagine that there is something servile about polite ness. Many of us feel that in being brusque we as sert our superiority. Not a few Americans seem to think that cheer fulness and polite manners constitute a confession of inferiority. There was never a greater mistake made. The polite is the strong man. Politeness ii a de moastration of physical force. - ' The cheerful man is the strong man. .Feebleness is shown first of all in irritability and bad temper. The surest sign of small mind is a quarrelsome disposition. The small man is overcome by small obstacles and exhibits the irritation that comes with difficulties. We realize that this talk is vague and seems not to lead to anything definite. But we shall trust to each render's thoughts for amplification and utiliza tion of these generalities. fc You may say that some very successful men are illtempered. True, there are exceptions to every rule. But the ill-tempered successful men bave very often made their original success through cheerful politeness. Had yoa seen such men when they were climb- inar nn thn hill vnn wnnld hVA fnnnri in niriA caanal "6 r - ' " out of ten models of polite energy. They are ill tempered now because they feel that they can afford to be. And many a so-called successful ill-tempered man is, comparatively speaking, a failure. Who can say how far be might have gone on the road to success had he not yielded to temper and the petty love of domineering! One of the first requirements for promotion, for fitness to fill an executive place, is polite considera tion for others. And one of the first and surest signs that a man is unworthy of promotion given is a development of ill-temper. When a man is pot over others his work is' to get good results from those under -him. In this country, where self-respect is a part of every decent men's mental equipment, the ill-tempered boor cannot suo ceed as a manager. He cannot get the best results from those who work with him. All of u? need the help, sympathy and collabora tion of others in our work here. , Our manner and expression can draw sympathy to us giving us success or drive sympathy away dooming us to failure. Each man's success is that of a man among men. We all rely on others, and he who glides along smoothly goes farthest. Gladstone was polite invaribly even in the fierce fights of debate. And bis manner was the same wben he returned the salute of a cab driver on Carl tea Terrace as when he epoke to the greatest man In England. The great General von(ilcltko was as polite wita the younpest cf2cer or private soldier as with the German Emperor and his manner gave a much needed rebuke ti the arrogance of' tbe- miserable, petty German officers. The viciously impolite man ners ef many of them foretell very clearly how little they will ever amount to out side the drinking bouts of the "offiziers casion." Tbe really great men of all countries are polite, because great man are strong men, and politeness is one kind of strength. Good manners and cheerfulness 6hoold be cultivat ed for their own sake. But if you must act lor per sonal gain, you can make no better investment of effort than in trying to cultivate in yourself polite ness and cheerfulness. There is not a man but could advance himself in that way. Every young man who is grnff, ill mannered whea he dares be, is simply keeping him self back. DUTCHMAN AND YANKEE. HILE the United States is schem ing, says the Kansas City Journal to build vast reservoirs in the mountains of tbe desert region to be used as a water source for the irrigation of large areas of farm land, the government of Holland is engaged is the no less interest , ing work of reclaiming from tbe ' sea great tracts of land which will be used for agricultural pur poses. This Dutch enterprise is almost worthy of comparison with onr building of the Panama canal, at least as far as cost is concerned. It involves thev draining of the great Zuider sea, through a step by step process that eventually will make dry land of tbe whole of it. First, a dyke will be built across the mouth of the sea, a distance of twenty-four miles, at a cost of 116,000,000. After this dyke has been completed and the inflow of sea water is under control, a cor ner of the imprisoned sea will be surrounded by dykes and the water pumped out from an area of about 52,000 acres. This step in the work is figur ed at a cost of (5.000,000, and it is to be followed by the diking of another are of the see to the exent of 249,000 acres, and then the remainder of the sea area is to be pumped out, adding 225,000 acres to the totl. Tbe cost of the enterprise complete is fixed at 178,000,000. ' . The work is to be performed by the government and it will be financed by the issue of bonds bear ing 2 6 per cent iotercst. The land reclaimed is to be held by by the government and and rented to farmers at a rate sufficieut to pay interest and main tenance, which is figured at about (7 an acre per year. ' , We have compared this Dutch work to our own enterprise of bail ling the Panama canal, and it leads naturally In a comparison of the methods of the two couotries. For ten years a commission ap pointed by the Holland government has been weigh ing the Zuider sea project. With the proverbial caution of the Dutch everywhere the commissioners have pondered deeply over every phase of the un dertaking, and each year found them drifting a lit tle nearer to the fiaal report which the government has adopted. Here in America ten months was all too long for our canal commission to decide upon the preliminaries of that greater undertaking. We went' at it with a slap dash that would have given a slow-moving burghers of Holland a case of nerv ous postration, furthermore, we expect to finish the canal, even though it involves twice the work and twice the cost, in seven years as against the thirty three which bas been estimated as tbe shortest pos sible time in which the Holland project can be brought to completion. But it is certain tht in throwing caution to the winds and dashing helter-skelter at every task which presents itsell, either public or private, we are to be admired above our Datch friends across the sea, who proceed about their business with such, a contemplative slowness of motion that one might think time crawls instead of running away! Whea "Jack," embalmed iu precious memory by Mark Twain, declared to the guide who bad been telling bim about Moses and the Isrealites, "Forty years! Why, Ben Hallowday would put 'em acio?s in forty hours," be touced the most vibrant chord of nation al pride and glory, but ia it a true note which we hear soanded! Ia these blistering July days when tinkling water calls, and the umbrageous mountain shades seem to beckon, it is hard to work up much enthusiasm over the spirit of push which puts 'em across in forty hours. In truth for the time being,, so long as the strenuous sun is doing such a strenu ous bmsiness, we must envy the deliberative Dutch man who talks ten years before commencing a job which we would do in tr.ree, and whose calm life flows always in such slow and placid currents. Mental weariness overtakes tbe reader, now and then, so that the business of "keeping posted', costa too much effort. There are tfmes when the mere flatter of pages or the crackle of anythiog which sounds as if it mightcontain prist gets on his nerves; especially in mid afternoon, whea his collar falls moist and listless about bis neck and the thermome ter has reached the apex of its story. There are Elements in days like these when the mind likes nothing better than to consider refrigerating pro cesses or the actios cf ice upon crystal receptacles; when the eye is content to rest upon the ii!uioa created by the revolutions of aa electric faa.