Water Valley progress., March 25, 1905, Image 2

About Water Valley progress. (Water Valley, Miss.) 1882-1918

Image provided by: Mississippi Department of Archives and History

                
The Water Valley Progress
S. B. BROWN. Publisher.
WATER VALLEY. : MISSISSIPPI.
In 1904 there were mined 9,660.000
tons of coal in Japan. Ten years ago
the Japanese coal production did not
exceed 3,000,000 tons.
Mexican mints turn out more silver
money than those of any other coun
try in the woild. Last year Mexico
shipped several million silver dollars
to China.
A commercial estimate puts the
1904 bean crop of Michigan at about
4,000,000 bushels, 16 per cent, of which
is unsound and fit only for feed for
livestock.
Forty thousand two hundred and
ninety-nine cattle, valued at $3,723,569,
an average value per head of $92.40,
were exported from the United States
in January, 1905.
The Vienna Society for the Preven
tion of Cruelty to Animals is selling
donkeys at remarkably low prices, to
replace the dogs generally used for
drawing tradesmen’s carts.
One of the latest industries devel
oped in Vienna and Berlin is the clean
ing of playing cards. They are sub
jected to various processes and
emerge looking like new cards.
In Tunbridge Wells, England, a man
read in his Bible the passage, “And if
thy right hand offend thee cut it off,”
and at once went into his yard, took a
cleaver and chopped his right hand
off.
Episcopal women of Cleveland will
present the Rev. Dr. Rowe, bishop of
Alaska, a silk tent to use on his long
and terribly cold trips from station to
station, when he usually sleeps in the
snow.
The hairpins come from Painswick,
a village in the Stroud Valley, Eng
land. There is the greatest hairpin
factory in the world. Strangely
enough, t.hi« factory employs only 300,
persons, the macnmery useu' being
automatic and requiring but little at
tention as it grinds miles of wire into
tons of hairpins._
A German paper states that during
the month of November the number of
unemployed persons increased largely
in France and England, especially in
the latter coluntry, where in 35 munic
ipal districts 390,822 persons were out
of work or in want. The number of
the unemployed working people in the
city of London is estimated to be over
200,000.
A Japanese is taught that his life is
a gift of the holy mikado, and if the
country need the lives of her people
they should be given gladly, for that
is only to return to the mikado what
they have received from him. To die
on the battlefield is the only key for a
Japanese to find his way to his Shinto
heaven, and the soldiers who were not
killed on the battlefield are considered'
unfortunate.
To be a valet to a beggar spunds an
impossible way of earning a living.
Yet in a recent police court case in
London it transpired that a man
named Webb acted in that capacity
to a man without arms, who begged in
the streets. Webb stated that his
master was “most perticler,” had to
be shaved every morning, and. had
his teeth brushed three times a day.
Webb’s wages were $10 a week.
The government has put its ban up
on consumptives. Hereafter persons
with this disease will be debarred
from entering the classified service of
the government. This action has been
taken by the civil service commission
as a precaution against infection of
other employes by those afliicted with
the diease. The commission is going
on the theory advanced by medical au
thorities that the germs of tuberculo
sis can be transmitted to healthy per
sons.
August Griebel, of Brooklyn, em
ployed as a watchman by John
Shultz, a baker, five years ago gave
up eating food and substituted milk
punches. On these alone he has ex
isted ever since, except when he was
stricken with malaria, and had to be
taken to St. Catherine’s hospital,
where he was given liquid nourish
ment. The food did not agree with
him, and as soon as he was able he
protested and walked out. Since then
he has never had a sick day.
In the 23 years of its existence the
Standard Oil Co. has paid $496,065,000
in dividends on its $100,000,000 of
stock. This $496,065,000 is consider
ably more than one-fifth of all the
money—gold, silver and paper—in the
United States. The $496,065,000 hith
erto distributed does not represent the
total profits of the oil combine. What
its surplus and undivided profits are
no one outside of t£q innermost
hierarchy of the oil kings Know*
OLD NAN HOGAN
Be Borrows a Quarter and Proceeds to
Show How to Get Rich Quick—
The Kite-Flying of High Finance
—The Thrifty Banker—Gold Brick
Artist to Be Preferred to Stock
Brokers.
BY HENRY M. HYDE.
(Author of "Buccaneers,” Etc.)
(Copyright. 1904, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
“Will ye lind me th’ loan av a quar
ther?” asked old man Hogan. “Thank
ye. Now, whin ye git thired ar thry
in’ to make me pay ye back an’ ar-r-e
jest about ready to cross th’ quarther
off your books, I’ll git ye to inthro
duce me to Casey as a good rayliable
la-a-d that he kin lind half a dollar to
at tin per cint. a month wid perflct
[ Have Did Up Me Stocks an’ Bonda.
safety. I’ll git th’ half, an’ out av it
I’ll pay back your quarther. Whin
Casey gits anxious for his money I’ll
make him recommind me to some
other loan shark that’s lookin’ for a
chance to lind a whole dollar. If this
new la-a-d wants more than wan rif
eren«e'm‘send him to see you
“ ‘Yis,’ you’ll say, ‘I’ve lint Hogan
money an’ he’s always paid me back.’
What ilse kin ye say? So 1 git th’
dollar an’ out av it I pay Casey his
half. Workin’ along th’ same careful
an’ conservative lines I gradually git
me credit up to th’ pint where it’s no
thrick at all to borry tin thousand on
me note, backed be th’ ricomminda
tions av all th’ feenanceers who have
hilped me on me upward progriss.
“Be this time they’re beginnin’ to
talk about saycurities, so I wrap up
a bundle av Sunday supplemints in
thick brown paper, tie it wid red tape
an’ seal it wid a lot av wax, pastin’ a
strip av paper, wid my name wrote on
it, across the knot in th’ tape. I take
this down to th’ vice presidunt av th’
'Steenth national bank, a litthle, bald
hided, dried-up la-a-d, who likes to
make two cints grow where they was
only wan bayfure.
“ ‘Misther Jones,’ I say, ‘I have been
very extravagant. Me illegitimate
great-grandfather, J. Vanderfeller
Croesus, has often scolded me f_.r
spendin’ so much money. Now,’ I
says, ‘I am goin’ to rayform. I have
did up all me stocks an’ bonds, to the
thriflin’ figure av twinty sivin million
dollars, in this bundle, an’ I want you
to sind thim down to grandpa’s agint
in New York. Here’s a list av th’
He’ll Do It Bather Than Lose What
He’s Lint Ye Alriddy.
stuff,’ I says. ‘Will you please sign
this rayceipt for thim?’
“Th’ nixt week th’ la-a-d in New
York that you’ve fixed things wid,
Binds back to Misther Jones a rayceipt
for th’ stuff, signed wid th’ name av
Croesus. Along wid it comes a letther
sayin’ that grandpa insists on sindln’
his notes for th’ same amount. You
leave it all wiS Misther Jones, whose
ears ar-r-e wigglin’ at th’ smell av so
much money, Tin da-a-ys lather ye
come back to see him.
“Tm ashamed to say it, Misther
Jones,’ you say, ‘but I can’t stop me
extravagant habits. I’ve got to have
fifty thousand dollars right away to
•pind in gratifyin' me taste for dia
mond rings. If you kin find me some
wan who has fifty to lind I will pay
you tin thousand dollars for doin’ it.'
‘‘Misther Jones thinks that he might
as will have that tin thousand as anny
wan ilse. But he’s goin’ to be careful
about it. ‘Will ye assign me wan ay
thim notes yere grandpa slnt back?’ he
says.
“ ‘Yis,’ you say, 'I suppose I must, If
you insist. But I wouldn’t leave grand
pa find out about It for amiything.
He’d be awful mad at me,* ye say, ’for
bein’ so rickliss wid me money.’
*“0, that’ll be all right,’ says Mis
ther Jones. ‘Ye kin trust me. I am a
a very discreet gint.’
‘‘Thin you sign a note for fifty thou
sand, an’ Misther Jones hands you th’
cash. You hand him back tin thousand
to pay for his kindness and out ye go
wid forty thousand in bills. Th’ rist av
it’s easy. Whin Misther Jones gits
scared about his forty ye go an’ make
him endorse yere note for a hundurd
thousand, promisin’ ' to pay him back
out av th’ proceeds. He’ll do it rather
than lose what he’s lint ye alriddy, an’
so you go on, flyin’ yere kite, unthil
wan day there’s a stiff breeze blows
out av th’ north an’ carries away th’
tail. Thin there’s the divvle an’ all
to pay. Th’ kite comes down, hid
first to th’ ground an’ busts into
pieces; th’ polis git afther you an’
Jones an’ all th’ rist av thim, an’
ivrybody that readsabout it in th’
pa-a-pers shakes his^Tiid an’ says:
‘What a winderful fell^ that man Ho
gan is!’
“But they’s nothin’ wonderful about
it. All ye’ve got to do is to find some
body who’s greedy to git rich an’ make
him believe that you really haven’t
got sinse enough to look out for your
own intherists.
“ ‘Wull,’ he says to himsilf, ‘here’s a
fat duck to pick. It’s too bad, av
coorse, that it should be wanderin’
around this way loose, widout anny
guardeen. But if I don’t take th’
feathers somebody ilse will, an’ it
might as will be me. It’s a sbame to
take th’ money. It’s like robbin’ th’
baby’s bank. But, after all, there
ar-r-e la-a-ds that’d threat it worse
than I will. It’s a good thing for it
that it happened to run across me.’
'“Whin this la-a-d wakes up an’ finds
his bag is full av imitation feathers ye
Thin There's th’ Diwle an’ All to Pay.
kin hear him yill tor miles in ivry
direction. 'It’s a dastardly crime/ he
says, ‘for a stuffed duck, covered wid
artificial plumage, to allow itsilf to be
plucked be a respectable, tin-per-cint
a-month-in-advance feenanceer like
me. Wring it’s nick,’ he says.
“I can’t see so much difference be
chune raisin’ money on paper that
ain’t worth annythin’ an’, on paper
that you know ain’t worth more than
tin per cint. av what ye git for it. If
it’s wrong to pay a gint tin dollars for
loanin’ ye twinty on say curl ty that
all’s wather, why should it be right to
git money from people cm stocks in
which there is jist enough solid sub
stance dissolved to form a thin scuya
on th’ top av th’ wather?
"Bechune th’ two I’d rather do busi
ness wid th’ gold brick artist. For,
whin it’s all over ye sthill have th’
brick lift to throw at him.”
Go to Sleep Gradually.
The senses do not fall asleep simul
taneously. The eyelids are first affect
ed, and shut out siglft; next follows
the sense of taste, then smelling, hear
ing and touch, the last being the light
est sleeper and most easily awakened.
Simple.
In proceeding to explain the uses of an
incubator a London school teacher
asked her class: “In what other way
could an egg be hatched than by putting
it under a hen?” A bright pupil replied:
“You might put it under a duck."
The Diagnosis.
The King—This crown is too heavy;
it feels uncomfortable.
Court Physician—Your majesty, the
fault isn’t with the crown; the trouble
is with your head—it’s too light for it!”
—Detroit Free Press.
Spain’s Output of Lead.
Spain produced 175,100 tons of lead
in 1903, exceeding the output of all
other countries except the United
States. Mexico is the third largest
producer, and Australia comes fourth
in order.
Many Persons Have Catarrh of Kidneys,
Or Catarrh of Bladder and Don’t Knew It.
| President Newhof and Wai
Correspondent Richards Wen
i Promptly Cured By Pe-ru-na
Mr. C. B. Newhof, 10 Delamare street,
Albany, N. Y., President Monteflore
Club, writes:
** Since my advanced age I find that
I have been frequently froubled with
urinary aliments. The bladder seemed
irritated, and my physician said that It
was catarrh caused by a protracted
cold which would be difficult to over
come on account of my ad va need years.
I took Peruna, hardly daring to believe
that I would be helped, but / found to
my relief that I soon began to mend.
The Irritation gradually subsided and
the urinary difficulties passed away. I
have enjoyed excellent health now for
the past seven months. I enjoy my
meals, sleep soundly, and am as well
as I was twenty years ago. I give all
praise to Peruna.”-—C. B. Newhof.
Suffered From Catarrh of Kidneys;
Threatened With Nervous Collapse*
Cured by Pe-ru-na.
Mr. F. B. Richards, 609 E Street. N. W.,
Washington, D. C., War Correspondent,
writes: “Exactly six years ago I was
ordered to Cuba as staff correspondent of
the New York Sun. I was in charge of a
Sun Dispatch boat through the Spanish
American War. The effect of the trop
ical climate and the nervous strain
showed plainly on my return to the
states. Lassitude, depression to the
verge of melancholia, and incessant
kidney trouble made me practically an
invalid. This undesirable condition
continued, despite the best of treatment.
Finally a brother newspaper man, who
like myself had served in the war, in
duced me to give a faithful trial to
Peruna. I did so. In a short time the
lassitude left me, my kidneys resumed a
healthy condition, and a complete cure
was effected. I cannot too strongly
recommend Peruna to those suffering
with kidney trouble. To-day I am able
to work as hard as at any time in my
life, and the examiner for a leading in
surance company pronounced me an
“A” risk.”
In Poor Health Over Four Years.
Pe-ru-na Only Remedy of Real Benefit.
Mr. John Nimmo, 215 Lippincott St.,
Toronto, Can., a prominent merchant of
that city and also a member of the
Masonic order, writes:
“I have been in poor health generally
for over four years. When I caught a
bad cold last winter it settled in the
bladder and kidneys, causing serious
trouble. I took two greatly advertised
H
PRES. C. B. NEWHOF,
Suffered From Catarrh of Bladder.
kidney remedies without getting the
desired results. Peruna is the only
remedy which was really of any benefit
to me. I have not had a trace of kidney
trouble nor a cold in my system.”
Pe-ru-na Contains No Narcotics.
One reason why Peruna has found per
manent use in so many homes is that it
contains no narcotic of any kind. Pe
runa is perfectly harmless. It can be
used any length of time without acquir
ing a drug habit. Peruna does not pro
duce temporary results. It is permanent
in its effect.
It has no bad effect upon the system,
and gradually eliminates catarrh by re
moving the cause of catarrh. There are
a multitude of homes where Peruna has
been used off and on for twenty years.
Such a thing could not be possible If
Peruna contained any drugs of a nar
cotic nature. _
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Is there any stronger proof of merit, than the
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Save these Lion-heads for valuable premiuma
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(The name and address of the
writer of this unsolicited letter
may be had upon application.)
A. J. TOWER CO.
Boaon, U. S. A.
TOWER CANADIAN
CO.. LIMITED
Toronto, Canada
The Sign of the Fish
Mahers of Warranted Wet Weather ClotMng
Saber's
National Oats
greatest oat of the centory.
Yielded In Ohio 187. In Mleh.
231, In Mo. 265, and In ». Dakota
810 bua. per acre. ,.
You can beat that reoord In 1905.
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we mall yon free lots of farm seed
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U Crosse.
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