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[ AND the girls wept, too A1 Barnes (a comedian)—Do you f know what I just saw as I came along | the Rialto? One of the saddest sights In a long time. Men and women, It brought tears to my eyes, and I'm no weeping wilier. Nona Wells —What did you see, Al? gome poor actor bidding good-by to the profesh? Al Barnes —I saw Waldo Van Ness, fte leading man, selling bis last dia mond ring to a newspaper reporter to get enough to take him out of towtl. Ain’t this game getting awful? Imag ine a guy like Van Ness, who had his name in lights all winter, selling bis Kicks for carfare. Algy—Oh, my! I 'ope I won’t be ' driven to waitin’ on table this summer. But I’ll do it sooner than starve, proud as I am, don’t y’ know. I’ve been watchln’ waiters ’ere lately, so I’ll know ’ow to caVry an armful of dishes if I ’ave f. Dad Wadell —I think I shall be able to exist modestly until the Shake spearean season opens agin. I have my pension from the actors’ fund. Maude Fabre (a leading woman) — Are you sure Van Ness was peddling his ring, Al? Al Barnes —Am I? Wasn’t the re porter shining the stone on bis sleeve and looking at it under an arc light and blowing his breath on it, and I saw him slip Van Nessa few bills. Then Van took the reporter into Louie's cafe and treated him to a dinner. Algy—Van Ness always w'as clever, b'jove. Al Barnes—lt made me pretty sad, though, to see an actor like Van Ness Nets Always Wat b* Jovel w hocking his jewels on the street to get out of this burg. Maude Fabre —And to think that the beautiful stone I am wearing was a gift from the same party. Nona Wells (dusical comedy)—lt Is, Is it? Maude Fabre —It certainly Is, m’ dear. Have you any objection? Nona Wells —Far be It from such. I lust wanted to let you know the three carat ornament I wear on my left band Is also from Mr. Van Ness. Maude Fabre —When? Nona Wells—When? When Waldo and I were engaged, of course. Maude Fabre —Is that so? IAII — AI Barnes —Cut It out, cut It outl What we got to now ain't dia mond rings or who Van Ness was en gaged to. We’ve got to work out a system today to get us out of town and working before we starve to death. Algy—lf I ’ave to go waitin’, AI, I'll speak a word for y’. AI Barnes—What I have in mind is this. We have just enough In this crowd to get up a repertory company. 1 have several plays In my trunk, add we can produce “His Father’s Pride," "When Love Was All,” “By Fast Ex press,” and several more. We’ll go on the road and play summer resorts. Play in the dining-rooms after they clear the tables out. l Algy—Dinin' rooms sounds good, ol’ chap. Dad Wadell—Eating should not come before art. Nona Wells—lts a cinch we can't get any more booking here. A1 Barnes—We’ll play the different Places on a percentage basis. Split 60 and BO with the manager, and he throw In, our meals. We’ll divide the companies, share equally. Maude Fabre—We will what, sir? AI Barnes Divide our takings equally, Maude Fabre—Let me stay In town end starve amid the scenes of my tri umphs. Do you expect a leading wom en like I am to work for the same amount her mediocre companions will get? AI Barnes—What do you mean by mediocre? Maude Fabre—Don’t I get more than Miss Wells, who has never been out In a show that lasted more than two Weeks? Nona Wells— Woman, don’t criticize ®ne who saw you act. I’m the one object. I can go out and do a sin gle and get away with It. Ton hare Me wrong idea, iX Those summer resorters won’t stand to have her rant and rave on a hot night in one of your dramatic things. Give them some thing light. We’ll frame up a four-act vaudeville bill. That will let her out see? Algy I like the idea, 1 s’y. Dad Wadell—Why not give some of my Shakespearean offerings on the lawns at the summer places. On a moonlight night it would be plctup esque, indeed. Al Barnes—Nothing doing. Nona Wells—Do as I say, Al. I can open the show doing my single. Then you can do your specialty; then Algy and I will do a double singing and talking act; then Dad Wadell can do a blackface, and we’ll close the bill with a comedy act for you, Algy and me. Maude Fabre—l have devised a way to get along without Miss Wells, the trouble maker, Al. You, Algy, Dad and I can put on short dramatic pieces. Give them something high class, so they’ll keep us over a day. Al Barnes—l don’t want to leave any of you here to die. I want to take you all with me. Maude Fabre —There must be but one leading lady, and her name shall be Fabre. Nona Wells—Her name will be Wells or nothing. Al Barnes—Listen. My plays all <*ll for six people—two la'dies and four gents. Have a little sense, girls. Because you were both engaged to Van Ness is no reason to quarrel. That’s the kind he was. Getting en gaged to every pretty girl he met, and then giving her a big diamond engage ment ring. Then his heart would waver when he met someone else. But the girls were always the winners. H never wanted or wouldn’t accept his rings back. He told them to keep It as a memento of a star. Dad Wadell—l heard a story of Van Ness and his rings. It seems that on a southern tour he picked up a quan tity of whitish stones called "Mexican diamonds,” which looked to the un learned like the real thing. They cost him 60 cents apiece. Asa publicity move he bad them set in 75-cent gold plated bands when he returned, and he passed them out to his personal friends and admirers. They thought they were getting a rich token from a rich man. Therefore, I say, you two young ladies are foolish to quarrel over baubles the cost of which was $1.25 each. AI Barnes —Well, that's like Van Ness. I'll bet he got 25 bucks from that poor reporter. Algy—No wonder 'e could afford to take ’im to Louie's. AI Barnes —Well, girls, you aren’t going to quarrel over Van any more, are you? The Girls—No, AI! AI Barnes—Then It’s us for the tall sycamores this afternoon. Booking Agent (entering) —So long, everybody. Be good! (Copyright, 1914. by W. G. Chapman.) Electricity From the Air. A well-known Inventor, Julian Yglosias Blanco of Madrid, has suc ceeded in extracting electricity from the atmosphere by means of anten nae and other apparatus. The an tennae were mounted in pairs upon a wooden tower 33 feet high, erected upon a high hill. Senor Yglesias’ apparatus received electricity at a pressure of 6,000 volts, which was transformed down to 150 volts. Fif teen lamps in a house were easily lighted and maintained at full pres sure during the prolonged test. The experiments will be continued, with the object of ascertaining the full ca pacity of the installation. Senor Ygles ias states that be can obtain direct from the atmosphere electricity in enormous quantities at will, accord ing to the arrangement of the instal lation. His Idea. Ruth —Well, I think every woman should have the right to choose her husband. Zeke — Wa’al. In that case there wouldn’t bo princes enough in Europe to go 'round hers hi Podanh—Judga. EAST MISSISSIPPI TIMES. STARKVILLE, MISS. Demand rbe rrnuloe v 'jßw by full namrT- S Nicknames encourage B^mWlQpjpi The Coca-Cola Cos., Atlanta, Ga. 51 I Shingles, Spanish Til® I EVERYTHING IN SHEET METAL S BUILDING MATERIAL i OC3TTMAT MONEY CAN BUY ; WRITE row CATALOG AND PBKO | Bhalr R balsaivi A toilet preparation of merit. ■Help* to eradicate dandruff. For Restoring Color and Beauty to Gray or Faded Hair. 60c. and tl.OOat Drutfgigta. @HPnPQY TREATED, usually gives quick UilUi kJ 1 relief,soon removes swelling A short breath,of ten givoi entire relief in 16t02n days. Trial treatmen t sent Free Dr. THOMAS E. GREEN. Successor (o Or.H. H. Greens Sons, Box 0, Allan!*, Ga. DR. J. D. KELLOGG'S' ASTHMA Remedy for the prompt relief of Asthma and Hay Fever. Ask Your druggist for It. Write lor FREE SAMPLE. NORTHROP & LYMAN C 0 Lid.. BUFFALO, N, Y. Mother Knows What To Use Relief 1 1 Jy |,vi HANFORD’S Balsam of Myrrh For Cuts, Bruise*. Sprains. Strains, Stiff Chilblains, Lame Old Sores, Open and all External liyuries.^^ Made Since 1848. Price 26c, 60c sod SI.OO Ail Dealers o-c.H. R nfS B . Ca , “ SYRACUSE. tC V, ROCK COULDN’T FEAZE HIM Big Stone Bounded Off Irishman, but Killed Polander, Who “Couldn’t Stand Much." Representative Michael E. Conry of New York used to be employed in the coal mines of Pennsylvania. One morning as he was going to work he met another Irishman all fixed up in bis Sunday clothes. "What's wrong?” asked Conry, "Nothin’ wrong,” answered the other laborer. "But what’s happened?" “Nothin’s happened. A man's got to show some respect for the dead.’’ “What dead?” “Ob, that Polander I worked with died yesterday.” “What did he die of?” “A rock fell and hit him.” “You don’t say! How big a rock was itr “Oh, three or four tons, maybe. Them Polanders can't stand much. I purty near got hurt myself yester day.” “How was that?” “The rock that killed the Polander hit me first, but luckily it bounced off.” —St, Joseph News-Press. 1 Piles Cured In 6 te 14 Days Vour druggist will refund money If PA7O OINTMENT falls to cure any ca?e of Itching, I Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles In 6 to 14 days. The first application gives Ease and Rest. soc. Where It Counts. “Aunt Dinah, are you going to have ‘obey’ eliminated from the cere mony?” “No, chile; but I sho Is gwinter hab It ’llminated from de matrimony.” —Puck. How To Give Quinine To Children FEDRILINE is the trademark name given to an Improved Quinine. It Is a Tasteless Syrup, pleas ant to take and does not disturb the stomach. Children take it and never know it ia Quinine. Also especially adapted to adults who cannot lake ordinary Quinine. Does not nauseate nor cause nervousness nor ringing In the bead. Try it the next time you need Quinine for any pur pose. Atk for e-ounce original package. The name FEDRILINE is blown in bottle- as cents* The coming man is seldom noticed until he arrives. Death Lurks In A Weak Heart 'REVELATION WAS TOO MUCH ! Picture of “Hollering Jones" at Fa vorite Diversion Caused Him to Reform. A well-known Illustrator, who makes interesting western pictures, once made the acquaintance of p. noisy but good-natured cowboy who rejoiced In the appellation of "Hollering Jones.” In physical appearance this man was typical of his kind, and the artist made several studies of him, both In re pose and In his favorite diversion of “hollering.’ Some of the studies were sold by the nrtlst to an eastern maga zine. They showed Jones in his most violent state. A year later the artist again visited the region. He was soon approached by Mr. Jones himself, bearing one of the pictures, which he had torn from the magazine In which Its was printed. Pointing to It, he asked: "Is that me?" • "Well,” replied the artist, evasively, "1 got the general Idea from you, of course, but— ’’ "Oh, 1 ain’t takin’ no offense,” Jones made haste to say. "It’s all right; only If it’s me, say so.” “If you put it to me that way,” said the artist, "I can only reply that It Is a fairly good portrait of you.” “The men here on the ranch agree with you. So I look like that when I holler, do I?” “I think you do." “In that case," said Hollering Jones, "all I’ve got to say is that Hollering Jones has hollered his last holler. Hereafter, when 1 celebrates, 1 does so with a tin horn. In my own opin ion, no man has a right to look like that —not round white folks, anyhow." —Youth’s Companion. RESINOL STOPS DANDRUFF AND ITCHING SCALP If you are troubled with dandruff, eczema or other scaly, Itching scalp affection, try shampoos with reslnol soap and an occasional treatment with reslnol ointment. You will be sur prised how quickly the trouble disap pears, and the health and beauty of the hair improves. Reslnol soap and ointment also heal skin eruptions, clear away pimples and blackheads, and form a most valuable household treatment for sunburn, heat rash, etc. Sold by all druggists. Pre scribed by doctors for 19 years.—Adv. No Airs About Her. "Airs!” exclaimed the proud mother, and shook her head vigorously. “My Elsie, for all her learning, hasn't any more airs, so to speak, than her poor old dad.” "Then she won’t turn up her nose at her old friends?” queried the visitor. "La, no!” "How refreshing! Most girls who go through college nowadays will hardly look at you after they’re graduated." "Well, they ain’t like my Elsie, that’s all I can say,” retorted Elsie’s ma. “She’s become a carnivorous reader, of course, and she frequently Importunes music. But stuck up—my Elsie? Not a bit. She’s unanimous to everybody has a most Infantile vocabulary, and what's more, never keeps a caller waiting while she dresses up. No, she just runs down, nom de plume, as she is.” Whenever You Need a General Tonic Take Grove’s The Old Standard Grove’s Tasteless chill Tonic is equally valuable as a General Tonic because, it contains the well known tonic properties of QUININE and IRON. It acts on the Liver. Drives out Malaria. Enriches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System. 50 cents. Worse. “There’s one good thing about liv ing In these times. We don't have any highwaymen." "That's true. But my iceman Is Just as bad or worse. He’s a low-welgh man.” Cures Old Sores, Other Remedies Won’t Curs. The wont cases, no matter of how lons standing, are cured by the wonderful, old reliable Dr, Porter’s Antiseptic Heeling OIL It rctlevea Pain and Heals at the aame time. 25c, 53c, Si.oo, Even the baby In the cradle finds this a rocky world. Every new invention Is expected to revolutionize things—but doe* It? HUBBY GOT THE GOODS. BUT— It Wai the First Flush of the Hon eymoon, and He Saye "Never Againl" "Never again," was the conclusion of a story told by a young bridegroom of the month, after ho related his ef forts to please his bride by fulfilling her every wish. Sitting In his oflice a few days after the wedding he received a telephone call which was something like this: "Dearie, I do so hate to trouble you, but I have run out of lace for that dress 1 was making, and I can't finish It until I have another yard. Can’t you stop at the store and get some ns you come homo—Oh, I can tell you what It Is like—just four leaves, then a sprig, then four leaves, then a sprig, and so on—lt's just two threads over an Inch wide.” He hung up the receiver and mopped his brow. He walked by the store twice, finally entered and approached the lace counter. She was pretty, but he had been married only a week and was busy repeating In his mind; 'Tour leaves, then a sprig." "Well, after looking at (iOO samples of lace, 1 got It, but—-Indianapolis News. EAS-IT A I'UKSt 'HI I’TU IN prepared especially for seemingly incurable Headaches, Your druggist sells and GUARANTEES Studs' Eas-it to relieve any Headache in fifteen to thirty minutes. Money back if you want it. Contains NO OPIATE. Adv. Rather Effeminate. Congressman Peter J. Dooltng of New Y'ork smiled the other evening when reference at a dinner was made to effeminate ways. Ho said ho was reminded of the explanation of Smith. Some time ago the Smiths attended a reception where they met u man named Brown. On the way homo, while exchanging opinions of the guests, Hrown was mentioned. "Speaking of that man Brown,” vig orously remarked Smith, "ho certainly has an effeminate way of talking." "Why, John,” was the wondering re joinder of Mrs. Smith, “how can you eay that? 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