The city itemizer., February 13, 1913, Image 2

About The city itemizer. (Water Valley, Miss.) 1894-1918

Image provided by: Mississippi Department of Archives and History

                
The City Itemizer
Established 1894.
THURSDAY, FEB. 18, 1913.
Office Phone. 256,
Residence Phone. 183
Water Valley,
Yalobusha County, Miss.
Woman’s Watches.
Some wretch, who has no regard
for propriety when it comes telling
the truth, and who posseses a deep
desire to familiarize everybody
with the didoes of women’s watches,
had the unwarranted hardihood to
write the following thoughts on
this inexhaustible subject. Any
man who would approach the truth
with such supretie indifference to
prevarication, and romp around
with such unheard-of hilarity and
recklessness, and without regard
for impending danger, needs some
kind of a steam regular to balance
him that his life may be insured
’“atjaiust the storms of passion. This
bold and fearless writer says:
“Two things in this world are
never right.
One is the tariff and the other
1 is a woman’s watch.
There is nothing better than a
woman’s watch to throw at a cat,
to crack hickory nuts, to let the
baby cut its teeth on, to use as a
sinker on a fish line, to use as a
buck in a poker game, to hang on
the end of a watch chain, to keep
it in the pocket or to drive carpet
tacks with, but as a time keeper it
is unreliable as a campaign maua
ger on the day before election.
A woman’s watch is full of artis
tic temperament. You can go
away from home and stay six
months and come back and find it
| running, but if you want it to be
sure and run for three hours while
you are on an automobile trip, you
have got to wind it every five
minutes and then shake it and
hang it on the door sill.
A woman’s watch is always a
half hour too fast or a halt hour
too slow, and the woman never
jnows which. In order to be per
~h sure she goes out and looks
[he sun. but if the sun isn’t
; ....
shining she takes the half hour tco
fast and the half too slow and adds
them, multiplies by three, sub
tracts seven and divides by four
teen, y.then counts the number of
buttons on her husband’s vest and
multiplies the total by that and
she will have the time pretty dose.
A woman’s method of telling time
by her own watch is one of the
great, mysteries and every one has |
a different method.
A woman doesn’t care about the
works in a watch just as long as it
has got a cute monogram on the
case and a diamond or two. The
works might just as well not be
there. There have been numerous
instances where women have taken
the works out of their watches and
used the cases to carry toilet pow
der, locks of hair and ‘sweethearts’
photograph. It is the ease that
counts and the works have noth
ing to do with the case. Someday
perhaps some genius will invent a
woman’s watch that will keep time
correctly, but they will never be
popular with the women The
average woman would rather guess
at it. Then if she finds she is
right she can glory in it, and if she
is wrong she can change her guess.
Women’s watches are a good
deal like women themselves. You
can never tell what they are going
to do next.”
LOST—Last Sunday a Gold
Umbrella Knob with “Pearle”
engraved on it, Finder will be
rewarded for its return to
Mrs. J. M. Rees.
Phone 118.
-m 9 mi
According to recent statistics
there are in the LTnited States, in
round numbers, 19 500,1)00 horses,
mules, etc, (51,000,000 cattle, 74,
000,000 sheep. Experiments indi
cate that if these animals were
kept in stalls or pens throughout
the year and the manure carefully
saved the approximate value of the
fertilizing constituents of the
manure produced by each horse or
mule annually would be $27, by
each head of cattle $20, by each
hog $8 and by each sheep $2.
Always good pictures at Tyler’s
Grand. Come and see, and you
will be'conviced.
Tyler’s
Grand Theatre
EVERY
NIGHT
3000 Feet
c
Motion Pictures
The best that can be
secured in the Moving
Picture World*
Warmest House
In Town
Adults JOcts; Children 5 cts.
Except
VAUDEVILLE
Which is 10 and 20 Cents
1
Drawing Every Friday Night
V