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PECK’S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
“Wish you a happy New Year, and 1 will take it in oranges,” said the bad boy ns he Hiniled on the groceryman, and began tilling his pockets with the luscious tropical fruit. “Just you hold on,” said the grocery man, as he stopped the boy from taking any more. “Here’s a herring. When anybody wishes another a hap py New year he should allow the victim the privilege of selecting the weapons ns they do in a duel. Now, oranges are liable to give you the winter cholera, and if they did, I would be liable for damages, but you take this smoked herring and eat it, and I will take the chances,” and the groceryman unloaded the boy’s pock ets and handed him the herring. “Dear me, what a freehearted old fellow you are,” said the boy, as he took off his mitten and began peeling the herring, “Here, you’d better take back the head and skin of this herring and give me a cracker, and then I will tell yon what a brave man pa is.” “Tell me about your pa. I haven't heard anything from him for a long time,” said the groceryman .as he handed the boy the cracker, and sat down on a half bushel measure by the ‘'Well, you see, last night we got to talking about haunted houses, and pa said there was no such thing as a haunted house. He said whenever any unusual noise was heard in a house, instead of investigating it, the people got scared and talked about the house being haunted, and before long everybody believed it, the repu tation of the house was ruined, and everybody was nervous. Pa said that haunted houses was on a par with spiritualism, and people of sense never took any stock in either. He said if I ever heard of a haunted house, to let him know and he would go through it and investigate it in the dark. I thought to myself, ‘boss, you can’t fool Hennery,’ and I laid for pa. That evening my chum’s cat came over to visit our cat, and when it was time to go to bed the two cats were sleeping by the stove, and pa told me I better put the cats out doors and go to bed. So I took the cats up carefully and raised up the cover to the piano, and laid the cats down in the back side of the instrument, among the strings, and petted them, and they went to sleep, and I shut down the cover, and we all went to bed. Pa and ma sleep right over the parlor, and I sleep at the back of the house. Along about two o’clock in the morning, about the time cats get woke up and begin to prowl around, there was a scratching of toe-nails on the strings, and a yowl, that sounded as though it came from the sewer. It was evidently music, such as you get at boarding houses where a boarder practices on the piano for her board. I listened and pretty soon there was two ‘meous’ and a ‘spit,’ and the strings acted as though they were being walked on the way a cat does when she puts her paws up in your lap and lets her toe nails go through your pants. 1 got up and went to pa’s room, and ma was setting up in bed with her night cap off, and her hair standing right up straight, and she was trying to get pa to raise up and listen, but he put his head under the bed clothes and tried to snore, but I knew pa was scared. I told pa that 1 wasn’t afraid but I wished he would let me sleep on the lounge in his room, and pa raised up and wanted to know what the row was, and just then the cats seemed to come together for a regular evening fight, and of all the music you ever heard, that beat everything. Pa lis tened and said it was somebody next door trying to play opera, but ma said something was in the house, and 1 told pa the house was haunted, and for him to netui) and investigate. Pa was kind of ’shamed to be afraid, so he got up, and all was still, and he got his pants on and went out in the hall, and just then the cats got to fighting another round, and pa rushed into the bath-room and closed the door, and yelled for me to open the window and holler for the police. I got up and asked pa, through the door, if he was afraid, and he said no, he wasn’t afraid, but he thought, seeing he was in the bath-room he would take a bath, and 1 told him if he was afraid I would go down and investigate, because there was no haunted house that had any terror for Hennery, and I went down and let the cats out, and they got on the back fence and had a real sociable time, and after it was all still pa came out with a towel in his hand and tried to make us believe he had taken a bath at two o’clock in the morning with cold water. 1 don’t think it is right for a father to deceive his little boy that way. Pa must have washed him self real hard, for ho was pale as a ghost when he came out of the bath room, but he was paler still in the morning when he found the piano full of cat hair. He thinks the air from the register blow into the piano. But 1 am sorry for pa, as he has had trouble enough trying to keep from failing, but he had to go to the wall.” “What! You don’t mean to tell me \ your father has failed?” said the gro ceryman, as he took down the ledger. “Great Heavens, he owes me seven dollars,” and the man groaned. “Yes, pa says that is the only way Cleaning and Dyeing 32 X. Laurel St., Bridgeton, Guaranteed satisfactory. Don’t l'orget to call. All kinds of Gentlemen's Clothing, Ladies' Coals, Dresses, Shawls, Feathers, Kid Gloves, &c., done up in a first-class manner. Prices are reasonable. Goods left with S. M. Ware, Mauricetown; A..Tolln:«on, S3 High Street, Millville; Mrs. llentago, dressmaker. Wood street, Vineland, will receive prompt attention. June 7-tf J. IWUDSGN. IllustratioBB,! The best and most complete hand hook ever published on the proper management of all kinds ot Cage birds and Par rots, with' descriptions of [ diseases and how to euro i them. All tho best styles of cages in use are illustrated , and tho prices given. There are also instructions for tho management of thoaquariura. Also a list of small pet ani mals, fowls, pigeons ami dogs, and the prices they are worth. Mailed for 3c. Stamp. FARfolE s near homo. , | Philadelphia, Pa. (j00 ’ ho can make a dollar. I don’t know anything about the business of failing, but as near as I can get at it, by hear ing pu and bis attorney talk about it, there is money in it, if it is worked right, and if I was in your place I would work an annual failule depart* ment into my business. The way to fail is to get credit for ail you can. and sell for cash, and when you sell the best things, have somebody that you owe, a relative, or a fellow that you got confidence in, get on his ear and get out an attachment and close you up, or else make an assignment to a fellow who stands in with you, and let him offer the creditors ten cents on a dollar in notes, payable in six, twelve, and eighteen months. By the time six months are up, you can pay the first note for fifty cents on a dollar, and you can fail again before the other note comes due. Pa says there is more money in it than in running a bank, and he is awful anxious to have the tiling fixed up in time for him and ma to go to Florida for the winter, so they can get back in time to go to Sara toga next summer. I asked pa if it was honest to fail, when ma had prop erty enough in her name to pay all debts and have plenty left, and pa said lie and ma was two different per sons. (tosh, I thought a man and his wife were one. Well a fellow learns something every day, don’t he? Say, > uu wuuiu ue a lorai iauure on general principles, and if 1 was in your place I would have some style about me and bust. You can never amount to any thing going along the way you do and never getting ahead any. Let me tell pa's lawyer that I can get him a job putting you through bankruptcy, on shares.” “No, sir, never,” said the grocery man, “I have always paid a hundred cents on a dollar, and I always will. It is true I cannot put on much style, not as much as some I know who have failed, but I can look everybody in the face and—but, say, Hennery, you might tell your pa’s lawyer to come in here this afternoon, and I will have a talk with him. If failing is going to be the style, and a man isn't going to amount to anything unless he has failed, and there is money in it, and your pa says it is honest and all right, 1 might con clude to fail once for luck, but keep it dark,” and the grocervinan began to look about the store at the old back number washboards, and wormy dried peaches, and things that were not sal able, and wondered if it would not be a good idea to fail and get rid of the old stock and buy a new one on trust, while Hennery went out to break the news to his pa's lawyer that he had got another job for him. ♦ -O- ♦-— “Phew!” exclaimed Fogg as he came into the house, “who’s been smoking? Open the windows. It's enough to kill anybody.” “Now you can judge how others have to suffer when you smoke in the house,” suggested Mrs. F.; “it smells awful.” “That’s the very rea son,” replied Fogg, “that I prefer to do the smoking and let somebody else do the smelling.”—Boston Transcript. “You look pale, Gus,-’ said one fashionable to another. “Yes, I am as nervous as a cat.” “What is the matter?” “Well, you see, I dreamed last night that I paid off all my debts, and I am worried to death to know where 1 got all the money from.” “My husband always telis me every thing that happens,” said Mrs. Smith, in a delighted, happy tone. “That is nothing,” said Mrs. .Tones; “my husband tells me any number of things that don't happen.’’ A Western editor, who started a newspaper, called it “The Smallpox,” so that everybody would take it when j they got where it was. m------I Early Jersey WakefieldCabbage Beans, Peas. Cabbage, Tomatoes, Cu cumbers, Radishes, Celery, Sweet Corn, Beets, Melons* &c. T would especially call your attention to mv i stock of Extra Early Peas, Extra Early Tomatoes, j AND THE NEWCOMB RADISH. Having secured n stock of this cvoellpnt and [put It 0.1 the the first timo-having been in the hands of only iimrketthr0° tnicklT8» w,,° koI>t it out of the - gardrn u^°su‘ch ^ " S°°d Bno ol' ,0(,l8 for lioes Rakes, Shovels, Wheel Hoes, Wheel 1 lows, and in fact* every thing for the garden. J.LEWDEN ROBESON 105 Commerce St., Bridgeton. rsr-GIVE ME A CALL. ___ _ OCt 4-ly j Wright’s Indian Vegetable Pills j E01t THE Xj x xr m :ei And all Bilious Complaints. ! ti 3afo to take, being purely vegetable; nogrlnw. | p 1 rico cents. All Drufraists fob 8U4t. * 1 j A DOZEN 4 lbs. fine Turkey Prunes, 25c. 4 ibs. good Valencia Raisins,25c. 4 lbs. new Dried Apples, 25c. 1 4 lbs. new Dried Peaches, 25c. ! 4 lbs. Pure Sugar, 25c. 4 lbs. Good Rice, 25c. 3 cans Ayars’ Tomatoes, 25c. 3 cans Good Corn, 25c. 3 cans Good Peas, 25c. 3 cans good Lima Beans, 25c. 3 lbs. Pure Cod Fish, 25c. 3 lbs. good French Prunes, 25c. Above we give jou a list of “A Dozen Bargains” We have neither time nor space to specify the twenty dozen bargains to be found at our store. Don’t forget the 19 Cent Brooms advertised last week; they would be cheap at 25 cents. We have a few dozens left. Ware &. Trask 19 West Commerce St., Bridgeton, N. J. The largest stock of Pure, Fresh and Reliable GardenSeed, IN TOWN. The Century Programme for 1883-’84. tl,TKh?nSmmmo f"r,th,! fourteenth year of nimp S ’,!.®1 tlli,,i under the new name, is it anything more interesting and pon ului than ever. With every season The Cen nmlolm!8 in circulation. The no.^lh ^V "^ wlth November, and. when «^bTi. ifn,,-tlons sh(,nM bii&" with that theSnilw jS3?,ng are80"ie of thu °r byGeorge W. Cable, author of OW l i cole I lays, etc., .-milled "Dr. Sevier," a story ol New Orleans life, tile time being the eve of the late Civil War. "Bifem the Thirteen Colonies,” by Edward Eggleston, separate illustrated papers on sub. cmmtryinetlUd "ith ,ho <!!4l iy b.story of this . r|'brec stories by Henry James, ol varying lengths, to appear through the year. I TiV' il'7T,-\!tri”1,°my, untechnieal article, l’5,.1 T • I ■ Bangley, describing the most in stars ^ A n ecnt ‘bseoveries ill the sun and riove-l.-tto by li. H, Boyesen, author of Gunnar, etc. A vivid aud sparkiing story. The New Era in American Architecture a series ol papers descriptive of theltest work of Amorican architects in Public Buildings, . itv hlstrmid y Il0URea' ett!- T" be profusely ii ••r'r.rinV-‘'''* V Jbtbert Grant, authbr of Coni, ssions of a 1 rivolous Girl,” etc., entitled An Average Man,”—a story of New York, ilie Bread-winners, one of the most remark able novels of the day, to lie eomplet. d in Jan nary. “Christianity and Wealth.” with oth**r essays, by the author of “Tie.* Christian League of Connectieut,’ etc., on the application of C hrist ian morals to the present phase of modern life. “Coasting About the Gulf of St. Lawrence ” a series of entertaining articles, profusely il lustrated. J Scenes from the Novelists, Hawthorne, George Eliot, and Cable, with authentic draw ings. “Garfield in England,” extracts from his private journal kept during a trip to Europe in lStiT. The Silverado Squatters,” by Robert Louis Stevenson, author of the “New Arabian Nights.” There will be papers on outdoor England bv John Burroughs and others, a beautifully il lustrated series on Dante, u number of pacers by the eminent French novelist Alphonse Daudet, articles on art and archa*ologv by Charles Dudley Warner and others, illustrated papers on sport and adventure, short stories by the leading writers, essays on timely sub jects, etc., etc. Subscription price, 4.00 a year; single num bers sold every where, at 35 cents each. All dealers receive subscriptions, or remittance may be made direct to the publishers by postal or express order, registered letter, bank check, or dratt. SPECIAL OFFERS. To enable new subscribers to begin with the lirst volume under The Centuby name, we make the iollowing special offers: 1Q£,ew ^scribers beginning with November, 1H83, may obtain tin* magazine for one year Ji'om date*, and the twenty-four previous num bors, unbound, for S.UO. lingular price fur the three years, $12.00. f Or if preferred, u subscription and the twenty-tour numbers bound in four elegant volumes will be furnished fur $10. Regular price, $18. THE CENTURY CO. New York, N. Y. ISAAC LANING, 25 Commerce St., East of Bridge. While the above heading would seem to be suf ficient to indicate the character of mv stock, yet 1 must call attention to a few special lines upon which thought and care have been ex pended. JVL t Talule Silver, Such as Knives, Forks, Spoons, Castors and other ware is varied in style, and the celebrated makes of the country arc among my selections. WATCHES Are of the Waltham make, with line Keystone eases. Gold and Silver (>pon Face and Hunting Casc*s. Stein and Key Winders. tVTV SPECTACLES! In gold, silver and steel frames, arc King’s make, of which I am sole agenr. A silver nose piece is attached to each steel frame, thcrebv preventing rust. The sizes are varied to suit different faces. ULA11 hJ IN II ON Will be given to customers desiring Spectacles that selections may not be made, which will prove injurious to the eve. r/T ^ i 2 Vr rrr\ W j-g' E, " -L ^ ^ K 4? = — p ^ = „,z ri -<£ t—i -3 t3 ° "Tj pd 13 p* £3 .J£y &3 ^ ^ ^ bn g ^ r< S - W j= OC W 3^ C£ <1 * r.; rH O p 1—i rs *» h* rr2 H OJ r . = ~ a s 'iscjhsj 12 of -®, " H S a x K ®s = 3 ic o <u ^ ^ “ § = S ^ Q M ,, , r_ 2 —' « ^ C~" < n e3 c :—> >-~J ,V CS : <C = 2 SatarrH Chronic Catarrh. I V,2't^^S’l"ll,,,',"‘11'1 "' '-"iv. MIX ■PTVjir.T j^Bcntnrrh;—the brldire WJflltAM Wivislim of my vf C/3>. rtmiwCQUJl "oso Wlls about half I I r '" - 1 obtained a ^*sC'Cn7»/ HFinl bottleof Kly'sCreum p'TfSN'-OtO A oi 'tAUI Halm; have used 4 'HAVFEVE&'&Jw bottles, applying it ru\r jf^totiicanw-trtl parts X iy /V gf " itl. a swab, wbicli E' / about cored op rn y ViBffl! lie nostrils. 1 bail y -ct^- k|3B previously tried all ^rN^vvJwl alter remedies on g$&*S?ow . 0$- ^-o^B'be tnark.t witiiont WlJuflW X c v* Ajvts* f.ermanent relief.— H.S.A. IJ. A.fVood.Oti North ' bhmn atbm wm*} Hfofh St., Columbus, SAY-FEVER Ohio. l'.*1'? s Cream Harm causes no pain. Gives *11*., a' mice. Cleanses the head. Causes ■ , . > secretions. Abates inflammation. Pro •nts fresh colds. Heals the sort's. Restores * ™»2» «» ,i,stc :"“l smell. A thorough «J , ,n(.f't will cure. Cot a liquid orsnutl. Ap 1 , with the Anger. Send for circular. Sold r ornggists. Mailed for 50c. KLV UUO.’S ruggists, Owego, N. V. fob 21-4t ’ L. J. BARKER’S ORIGINAL FOU DRY GOODS, AND GROCERIES. Stock always Fresh And we assure our Customers that OUR PRICES AKE AS LOW AS THE LOWEST FOR THE SAME QUALITY OF GOODS Call and be convinced thatwe askyou to pay the debts of no one else We guarantee to sell as many goods for 10 cts., 25 cts. or SI.00 as « any other house in the city. L. J. BARKER, S. E. Cor. Washington and Laurel Sts., BRIDGETON. DAVID . - - 3 , REMEDY Discovered In Medical Practice. Specially suited to all Malarial, Ague, Stom ach, Rheumatic, Scrof ulous and female Com plaints. KIDNEY and LIVER CURE, ASI) ALL GLOSS BIS2RBER3. _Disease !r. an affect of bad blocd Tested for 20 ypnis. it ei res RC yer cent r cases! Pure Blood Kirc*i ileii! >1: Satisfaction guaranteed. It is p;:rel* vRgotv.’. non-Alcoholie, Effective, nc -ttiM*. ' su .('•.■ bottle. Send tor pamphlet. o£ :.i... . DAVID KENNEDY, X. D., Bonif..nt,... BLATCHLEY PUMP! BUY TjOEST. ELATCHLEY'S TRIPLE ENAMEL FQPiCELAIN-UNED OB BEAMLESS TUBE COPPER-LINED p y HI P not bo argued into • bi: ve: rinf\ ricr Goods. I'or do by tlio beet bonuses . i the Trade. TCH: SY.^snurr, ■ RKEY ST. ' . ■ :.. ;Yr lii’Ii. vi -A..-Lot V»vn'.. ICC a week at.homo. SS.00outfit free. Pay PUO absolutely sure. No risk. Capital not •equinvl. Header, if you want business at vlncb persons of either sex, young or old, can nake great pay all the time they work, with ab oltite certainty, write for particulars to H. iallett & Co., Cortland, Me. dec 27-tf Rupture! • ■ tins treatment, ease is at once obtained. J6rsunscan attend to their business iminedi stcly after treatment. Examination free. Send tamp for reply. Main office, 881 Arch St., l’hil idelphia. march 1-ly T. A. HEWITT & SON, MERCHANT TAILORS, BRIDGETON, N. J. Having associated myself with my father, T. A. Hewitt, in the business of TAILORING AND GENTS’ FUR NISHING GOODS,I would be much pleased to have my friends call and see me at all times, whether thev wish to purchase or not. Yours respectfully, FRANK L. HEWITT. Y lien you are wanting any good :nd STYLISH CLOTHES, we would like you to call and see us before placing your order with others. We guarantee a GOOD FIT, STYLISH GOODS AND GOOD WORK. We never want any customer to leave our store unless they are per fectly satisfied with their purchase. We have a very fine line of NOBBY AND STAPLE HATS, from 50 cents to So. 00. e can show the finest line of Neck-wear in the city. W P will rmf otuiruAvniA «,n i.1._-l_ -muu nc have, but ask you to come arul see us, and you will find everything per taining to a first-class Gents’ Furnish ing Store. Come and examine our stock, as we feel assured we can please the most fastidious tastes. Yours respectfully, T. A. HEWITT & SON, 20 West Commerce St. HARDWARE. Always on hand a full and carefully selected stock of BUILDING HARDWARE Locks, Latehes.Bolrs, Hingcs.Serews, Brads,Ac., House Carpenter's,Ship Carpenter's,Cab inet Maher's and 3Iason's Tools. PouUinTTro^Lt0tte' B''iCk'’ P,EStering aDd FARMING UTENSILS Hoes, Forks, Shovels, Rakes, Fence Wire, Grind $FI44<J and Cranks-Poiato Hooks.Potato Riddles c’W -'I1 r- Combs, Horse Brushes, Scythes snaths. Stones and RiHes. J GTTTZjTni^ir Tea and Table Knives and Forks, Steels, Car v crs. Spoons,Pocket Knives, Scissors Shears Arc Sash G?ak and* Punyfat Plasteri“* Hair' 004 15-4f DANIEL BACON’S. MILLVILLE mutual Actual Surplus over all Liabilities, in cluding Reinsurance, Fire and Marine, $21,208 59. Rates Low. Security Unques tionable. Policies Liberal—Honest—No Two Thirds Swindle in Them. Settlements Prompt and Managemen tconomical. Agents wanted where not represented. F. REEVES, Pres. R. L. HOWELL, Sec. doc 9-tf WatcheS jewelry, SILVERWARE, Beautiful Choice Articles Very Low Prices. The Old Jewelry Stand, 8 S, Second Street, below Market, PHILADELPHIA. L. aRCHAMBAULT. SCDtIS CONSUMPTION. I havn si nrtaitiVA rcio/lr f««. a; * . inn