Bridgeton pioneer., January 15, 1914, Image 7

About Bridgeton pioneer. (Bridgeton, N.J.) 1884-1919

Image provided by: Rutgers University Libraries

                
> .•••...:
• •
i Selecting a!
j Wife |
• •
By Competitive
• Examination
• - •
• •
l By P. A, MITCHEL l
• •
• •••••••••••<>•••••••••••••
When old man Skinner died it was
understood that his only child, Billy,
would be very rich. Indeed, a news
paper stated that the estate would
round up $1,000,000. Scarcely had this
Item appeared than all the girls Billy
bad ever known began to show him
attention, and those who hadn't his
acquaintance sought Introductions that
. they might enter the race for Billy
and his million. It was not long
St before he counted ten pairs of em
l broidored slippers arranged In a row
p on a shelf in his closet and twelve
* dozen handkerchiefs with the letter
“S'' worked in one corner that had
been sent him by aspirants for bis
hfyid.
M ' One night after coming in from the
K theater Billy sat down to look over his
engagement book and found that for
the coming week he had invited three
different girls to go to the opera with
him on the same evening, was to take
| out four in his car on one afternoon
and was equally entangled as to bis
calls. Throwing the memorandum
book on his desk, he pushed back his
chair and sat in deep thought.
“This thing has gone far enough,” be
said to himself. "All the girls I know
want to marry me. and those who
don’t know me would want to marry
me if they did know me. It’s got to
stop, that's all there is about it—it's
got to stop. But how am I going to
stop it? I might have au item pub
i usueu mat my iortune Hasn’t panned
out as well as was expected and In
stead of $50,000 a year I’ll have to get
on with a beggarly $5,000. This would
^ throw off the girls who want an estab
lishment. but there are lots of them
who would argue that a tenth of a loaf
Is better than none. Besides, I doubt
If tip would believe the statement,
espee., ’v if I spend my Income. No,
that pi3K. won't work.
|$ “Suppose I marry one of these girls
I •—that'll settle it. And I might as well
■ WaTry now as *afer- If would save me
It Jk lot of temptation. I’d have a home
■:||to loaf in instead of a club, and I’d
gtkfc?3*' fulfilling the natural requirements
KgFof a properly constituted existence.
MF The beasts and the birds mate—why
l|v not man? I’ll do it. I’ll maiTy one
H of these girls, and that will head off
™ all the rest.
“But which one shall I marry?
1 There’s Lou Clarke, and Hattie Allen,
W and Bessie Trask, and Helen Warfield,
S and a lot of others. Lou would love
k me dearly, I know, but she’s not very
1| bright, and I might tire of her. Hat
W tie, I’m afraid, is too smart. She would
get ahead of me every time. Bess is
a scatter brained creature, always jok
ing. She’s delightful as a companion,
but I’m afraid that if my fortune
should slip away from me she’d pawn
the clock and go on with her jokes.
Helen is too confoundedly serious. She’d
always be looking at things In a mat
ter of fact way.
“What a fine thing it would be if I
could find a girl that should have a
fair amount of all the desirable traits
without having too much of any one
of them. She should be jolly, but se
rious at the serious times. She should
be fairly intellectual, so that I might
be able to talk with her on ordinary
topics of the day without her telling
me every few minutes that she knew
more than I. She should be fond of
children, as I am. Amiability I should
■ place as her first requisite.
“I know a way that I could find out
something about these qualifications
in the woman who would make me
a good wife, but I’m afraid the girls
g| wouldn’t chime in with it. When a
H congressman is loaded down with ap
m plications for West Point or Annapolis
JfT what does he do? Why, he submits
W the matter to competitive examination
and gives the appointment to the boy
whose papers are the best. It would
be Just the thing in my case, but girls
j ’ are so uppish that they wouldn’t sub
p mit to it.
“Yet I’m not so certain about that
S where there is a million dollars at
f stake. A girl win knuckle down to
a good deal where she has a choice,
■on the one side, of hammering a type
writer all day or cramming knowledge
into the heads of children, who hate
i knowledge and love candy, and, on the
other, of spending her share of $50,
000 a year. I have a mind to try it”
Taking a pencil, he amused himself,
writing out some questions suitable to
bis matrimonial purpose. He wrote
down a number of them, scratching
out some and substituting others or
changing his wording, and at last
threw down his pencil, apparently
quite satisfied with his work. This
was his examination list:
First.—State what you consider the
first duty of a wife.
Second.—Write something humorous.
Third.—Are you a new woman or
| an old one?
» Fourth.—Have you many or few rel
tives? State their ages and sex.
Fifth.—What is your age?
Sixth.—If your husband should come
Ijfebome tired and cross, what reception
Would you consider it your duty to
BglTe him?
Seventh.—State the main features in
W the constitution of the United States.
K Explain the proper use of “shall and
| will” and “who and, whom.” Does
I North America rightfully belong to the
American Indian or the white man?
How many square feet are there in <
12 by 18 foot mom?
Eighth.—If the cook were found intox
icnted at f> o'clock p. tn. and no din
ner prepared, what would you do?
Ninth.— tlive an instance of amia
bility in woman. If your busbnnd
should abuse you while making pies,
what would you do with the rolling
pin?
Tenth.—Are you a suffragette?
Eleventh —Do you approve of the
present fashion In dress for women?
Twelfth.—Do you object to the word
“obey” In the marriage service?
The idea of marriage by competitive
examination having got Into Billy's
bead, be couldn't get it out* He ktiew
ft dozen girls to whom he would like
to propound these dozen questions;
blit, being a modest chap, he shrank i
from announcing to them that he would
marry the girl whose average replies !
were the most satisfactory to him. ]
Then it occurred to him to put It that ]
he would propose to the winner. That|
didn't sound so bad.
It took him a week ‘to get up his
courage to send out his examination
papers. The first surprise he received
after doing so was an enormous num
ber of letters from young ladles to
whom he hadn't sent the questions,
asking for them. This convinced him
that he had not made a guy of him
self. However, he sent ont no more
papers, confining himself to those girls
he knew personally.
He concluded not to open any of the
replies until they were all in. To his
surprise, he received answ-ers to every
examination paper sent out. When he
counted a dozen missives he locked
himself in his room and opened them.
At the first he turned pale. One of
the questions, No. 0, concerning amia
bility, was answered. "If you came
upon me while making pies even with
a smile on your face, I would bring
the rolling pin down on your head.”
The second letter was more quiescent.
The writer evidently took the submis
sion of an examination paper in good
part. She gave her ideas of the duties
of a wife, gave something humorous
(copied from Mark Twain) and failed
completely on the educational quest
ucns. i ue oinera sne answered meea
!y. Five examination papers were sent I
back with "None of your business”
written in the space for reply to Nd.
5, “What is your age?” One girl re
plied to No. 10. “Are you a suffragette?”
“Yes, and I have no use for a husband
either; at any rate, not for you.-'
One question was answered by ev
ery girl who was not too hot to givt
a courteous reply find at length. 1;
was No. 11, "Do you approve of the
present fashion in dress for women?’
Seven young ladies wrote replies tc
this ranging from ten to twenty-foui
pages.
Billy was very much cut up at the
replies to question No. 3, “Are you 8
new woman or an old one?” noticing
for the first time that he had not been
careful in his phraseology. Some of
the replies ware: “What impudence!”
“Old or youjag, you’re not a suitable
age for me.” “I’m of the new woman
kind, but am still young enough to
hope for a husband without submitting
to a competitive examination.”
Finally Billy struck a reply that came
upon him as refreshingly as a cool
breeze after a ninety-nine in the shade
day. it was from Bessie Trask. She
filled out every question, as follows:
First-—The first duty of a wife is to
he loved devotedly by ber husband.
Second. — 1 can’t write anything
funny.
Third.—I’m a new woman, but I
won’t be after my next birthday.
Fourth.—No mother-in-law on my
side. How about yours?
Fifth.—Concerning my age, see No. 3.
Sixth.—It would depend on whether
I was tired and cross myself how I
would treat a tired husband.
Seventh.-Never happened to see a
couy of the constitution. There’s »o
use knowing the correct use of “shall”
and “will” because no one else does.
Can master “who” or “whom,” but
can’t give the rule. America rightfully
belongs to the Indian and wrongful^
to the white man, possession being
nine points of the taw. There are 12,
000 square feet In a room 12 by IS.
Eighth.— With a drunken cook and no
dinner my dear husband would un
doubtedly dine and wine me at a first
class restaurant.
iNintn.—au instance or amiability in
a woman is my own sweet self in re
plying to these questions. Rolling pins
are for pies, stickpins for woman’s de
fense.
Tenth.—Not interested in the suffra
gette movement.
Eleventh.—I should dress to please
hubby.
Twelfth.—Don’t object to the word
“obey” In the marriage service la the
slightest or any other promise.
"By Jove.” exclaimed Billy; “that’s
the girl for me! Now, 1 come to think
of It, I’ve been more than half sweet
on her for some time.”
After mature deliberation ho con
cluded that a proper course for him
would be to give all of the twelve girls
an opportunity to refuse him. lie felt
safe in being refused by all except
Bessie Trask, of whom he was uncer
tain. But lie was thrown on his beam
ends by licing accepted by every girl
except Bess provided lie would make
a suitable apology for sending her the
examination papers. Bess declined him
unconditionally.
But Billy, who was not so great a
fool as he may be taken for, made nc
apology for sending the examination
papers and began a matrimonial pur
suit of Miss Trask. Bess Joked him,
but wouldn’t marry him. At last h«
threatened to send out another set ol
examination papers.
“Don’t Billy!” she pleaded. “If J
didn't love you 1 would be willing te
have yon make all the women in th«
world hate you, As it to, I give in.”
TIMELY COMMENT
ON SPORT TOPICS
Jack O'Brien Returns to Ring
to Meet White Hopes.
MURPHY IS AFTER MARSANS
Chicago Team Willing to Giva “Flock"
of Players For Cuban Star—Tipton
to Train Billings’ Horses—Cubs and
Philadelphia Americana to Play
Spring Series.
I
Philadelphia .Tack O’Brien, who was
a great fighter several years ago, is
going to try his hand at the game
again. Jack has gone through all the
money he made out of his ring battles,
and as he thinks he is still able to
Photo by American Pres3 Association.
JACK O’BRIEN.
beat some of the present day “white
hopes,” he has started training in Phil
adelphia for the purpose of getting
back into good form again.
Jack says he will “show up” some of
the new white hopes.
Baseball circles have passed the ru
mor that Charles \V. Murphy, presi
dent 'of the Chicago Cubs, has offered
a flock of his players for Marsans, the
Cuban outfielder of the Cincinnati
team. The rumor states that Presi
dent Herrmann says there is no chance
for the deal proposed by Murphy to go
through.
The report further states that Mur
phy# would like to trade Bresnahan,
Lavender and Schulte to the Reds for
Benton and Johnny Bates. The rumor
also has it that Murphy has started a
big shakeup in the Cub team and has
placed Heine Zimmerman, Roger Bres
nahan, Frank Schulte and Lavender
on the market.
Edward A. Tiptoe of New York and
president of the Kentucky Horse
Breeders’ association has been chosen
to manage the trotting horse breeding
farm of C. K. GL Billings at *Cotman,
Henrico county, 'Va.. succeeding Dr.
Charles Tanner, who for almost fifteen
years has been <in charge df the Bil
lings horses. Dr. Tanner was forced
to resign on the advice of bis physi-'
clan.
The tender and acceptance of the
resignation was of mutual regret and
under circumstances against which
both were powerless.
The Chicago Nationals will play six
games with the Philadelphia Ameri
cans duriug -the spring training in
Florida, it was announced by Presi
dent Murphy-of the Cubs.
The first three will be March 12. 13
aad 14 at the Cubs' training grounds at
Tampa. The others will be played
March 16. 17 and 18 at -Jacksonville,
where the world's champions train.
The University of Georgia s football
schedule for 1914 has beee: announced
as follows; <&ct. 3, Citadel; 10, Sewa
nee; 17. University of North Carolina;
24, University of Virginia; 31. open:
Nov. 7, Cletnsen; 14, Georgia Tech; 21.
Auburn.
Tending the outcome «f plans for
a new stadium at Athens, Ga„ the
cities in which the various games will
be played will mot be decided upon. It
is boped if these plans materialize to
have a number of the more important
contests at Athens. 1
_ I
The University of Washington navy
has ordered two sixty-two foot eight
oared racing shells for the mse of the
1914 varsity crew.
The shells, which will be ready in
March, are to be built for a crew aver
aging 170 pounds, and the builders pre
dict that one of the two will finish first
In the intercollegiate regatta on tha
Hndson next June. The funds for the
shells were provided by the Seattle
Commercial club.
Indiana university athletic eomraittee
has ordered all men who intend to be
candidates for the football eleven in
1914 to enroll in the wrestling classes
which will start this term.
This is a new idea in the training of
gridiron candidates.
All Around Title In September. <
The New England Amateur Athletic
union will, beginning the first Monday
in next September, hold an annual all
around athletic championship.
BOLIVIA'S SACKED LAKE.
Ov«r a Billion In Treaaure Said to Ba
Sunk |n Its Muddy Bed.
Legend has it that for more than 500
years the lake of Guativita, at an ele
vation of lO.OtK) feet in Bolivia, has
not only been held sacred to the gods ;
of the Indian tribes, but Into Its wa
ters the natives, with solemn ceremo
ny, used to cast their gold and stiver
ornaments, gems and other valuables
as an offering to propitiate the evil
spirits. It has been estimated that In '•
this manner treasure to the amount of 1
$1,500,000,000 found its way to the bot
tom of the lake.
Many attempts were made to recov
er the treasure. The first was by the
Spaniards 210 years ago. They tried
to drain off the waters of the lake, but
their engineering skill was not equal
to the task. When they had drawn
off all but ten feet of the water they
were compelled to give up their pro
ject and take to dredging instead.
They did succeed In recovering a small
part of the treasure in this way.
The most modern attempt was made
twenty years ago by a company of
Colombians and Englishmen. By dig
ging a tunnel 1.100 feet long down
the side of the mountain they succeed
ed In draining the lake, but then they
found to 'their dismay, instead of a
clear bottom, twenty-five feet of mud
covering the treasure. In all this com
pany spent $75,000 and recovered but
$10,000 worth of gold and jewels be
fore they, too, abandoned the search.
| —Argonaut.
| A VERSATILE MONARCH.
P«t«r the Great of Ruseia Wat a Real
Jack of All Trades,
All historians agree that Peter the
Great of Russia was a man of various
accomplishments. After be became
emperor he worked as a shipbuilder
in Amsterdam. His object was to
study the construction of ships that
the information gained as an ordinary
workman might aid him in establish
ing a first class navy in his own coun
try. He also studied anatomy and
seemed to delight in dissecting human
. bodies. He is said to have acted as
| executioner on several occasions, one
being when, after the siege of Narva,
certaiu soldiers disobeyed orders,
whereupon he sentenced theta to death
and killed them himself. He was also
wont to flog criminals with his own
hands.
He practiced as a surgeon in his own
I country, where he was accustomed to
perform amputations as well as to
bleed persons and draw teeth, in his
pockets he usually carried a case of
surgical instruments. His versatility
is indicated by the relics preserved in
Peter's museum, St. Petersburg, where
there are ship models, a chandelier and
other iron articles and ivory figures,
all his own construction. In the same
place there is at present on exhibition
t a wax model of the great emperor
! wearing a pair of shoes and a wig
made by himself.—London Standard.
Willing to Oblige.
j Brilliant sunshine made the garden
j party enjoyable. The garden really
| was a garden, and. though most of the
j guests clustered on the lawn, one or
: two wiser people sauntered around the
j rose bordered paths.
! Two of these were seated in a quiet
! part of the gardf-n enjoying the scent
I of the flowers and the solitude. They
! were engaged. Presently a mutual
friend sauntered down the path and
noticed them.
“You two seem to be enjoying your
selves over here all alone." said be.
“We are." said the girl and. being
a girl, managed to look pleased to see
j him. “Won’t you join us?”
“Sorry, I can’t" answered the friend,
“not being a clergyman. But I’ll go
and find one if you say so."—New York
Mall.
Couldn’t Afford to Run.
When Jacob M. Dickinson, formerly
secretary of war. as a member of the
Alaskan boundary tribunal was called
upon suddenly to make his argument
because Sir Edward Carson had con
cluded his remarks one day ahead of
time he began by telling a story: “So
far from feeling any sense of confi
dence." he said to the president of the
court, “I am to a position very deeply
to sympathize with the feeling of the
Confederate soldier who. when the bat
i tie line was sweeping forward in the
: last fearful charge at Chtckamanga
I and a rabbit jumped up and ran
through to the near, cried out: ‘Run.
cottontail! If I did not have any more
character at stake than you have I
would ran too.’ ”
Remembered It.
“What,” said a teacher to a boy with
a slow memory, who had tried In vain
to tell the name of the schoolmaster;
“can’t you remember your master’s
name?”
“N-no. sir."
“My name is Brown, blockhead!"
“Yes. sir."
“Well, now see if you can repeat it
What is my Dame?”
“Brown Blockhead, sir.”—Exchange.
Youth and Age.
Boys leave the farm perhaps be
cause they want to see more of the
world than 100 acres, though when
most men are fifty years old they’d
he quite willing to trade the world
for 100 acres.—St Louis Globe-Demo
trat
Reciprocity.
Talkative Barber (about to lather)—
Do you mind shutting your mouth, sir?
Patient One—No: do you? — London
Opinion.
Self conquest Is the greatest of vic
tories.—Plato.
■
MANAGERS’ JOBS
ARE NOHASTING
Only Five Baseball Pilots Hold
Positions For Three Years.
CLARKE LONGEST IN HARNESS
Fred Recently Signed Hie Twenty-first
Contract With Barney Dreyfuss and
Appears Good For Many More—Con
nie Mack Long at Helm of Athletics.
With John McGraw, Connie Slack.
Frank Chance and Hughey Jennings
having cornered the pennant market
for the last seven or eight years', the
job of the average big league manager
has been anything but permanent dur
ing that length of time. In fact, only
five big league leaders who were in
charge at the start of the 1911 cam
paign are still at the helm of the teams
they then controlled.
John McGraw is one, of course. Con.
nie Mack is another. Connie being the
only American league pilot who has
been anchored for twelve years. Fred
Clarke is the only manager that Bar
ney Dreyfuss has ever had at Pitts
burgh. Hughey Jennings career as
leader of the Tigers began in 1907,
while “Red" Dooin of the Phillies com
pletes the roster of the quintet, “Red'’
having been In charge of the Mack
neighbors sir.ce 1909.
But whstt managerial changes the
other eleven clubs have experienced!
Cleveland bad McGuire and Stovall In
1911. Stovall is now a Federal leaguer,
while McGuire is satisfied with a
scouting job, and he is a roigbty good
scout too. Harry Davis succeeded
them and is back with the Athletics,
Joe Birmingham being now in charge.
Pat Donovan was leading the Bos
ton Red .Sox in 1911. He gave way
to Jake Stahl, who has.been replaced
by Bill Carrigan despite the fact he
won a pennant and world's champion
ship. New York pinned its faith to
Hal Chase in the year mentioned.
Wolverton took his place and then
surrende.red the job to Frank Chance.
St. Louis also has had three managers
in three'seasons—Wallace, Stovall and
Rickeyl McAleer was managing Wash- I
Ington in 1911. but gave up the job
to become president of the Bed Sox.
Griffith took his place and seems to
have acquired a life job as helmsman
of the Nationals.
Hughey Duffy, now a New England
league manager, had charge of the
White Sox in 1911, but just now Jim
Callahan is ready to tackle the job
for his third consecutive season.
Griffith was the boss at Cincinnati
but three seasons ago and has since
been followed by Hank O’Day and Joe
Tinker, with Charley Herzog ready to
take up the reins. Bill Dahlen of
Brc»klyn has given way to Wilbert
Robinson, Frank Chance was forced
out in favor ulf Johnny Evers, while
Bresnabun of 'St. Louis stepped dowu
and out and let Miller Huggins tackle
the job. Boston has experienced a
number of changes. Fred Tenney was
in charge iu 1911. George Stallings is
there now and. judging from the re
sults he achieved last season, can be
•expected to make his home in, Boston
for severs! years to come.
WOLGAST ON THE CHUTE.
Ex-Lightweight Champion Now Hav
ing Trouble With Second Raters.
Ad W«oIgsst. once the terror of light
weights in the fistic ring, has not yet
shewn (that he can come back. Wol
Photo by American Press Association.
AD WOLOAST.
gast has assured his admirers that he
is as good as he ever was. hut—
Siuce he lost the title to Willie JUtchie
he has gone backward to such an ex
tent that he experiences trouble in
holding his own with second raters.
Wagner Easily the Best.
"It makes uie laugh." says Empire
Hank O'Day, "when they compare
Barry. Fletcher or any other shortstop
with Hoiitis Wagner. The Dutchman
will continue as the best shortstop in
the world as long as he can crawl out
between second and third.”
Another Fit* In Fight Game.
Syl Fitzsimmons, a nephew of the
ex-heavyweight champion Bob Fitz
simmons. is being brought to England
from Australia to show that he has the
Fitzsimmons fighting strain in him.
He is twenty years old and said to be ‘
a heavyweight of promise.
■- -j|
WHEN WOMEN WOCh *
OH, my, Edwin, wilt thou love meT (
By the faithful fires that shin*
On the firmament above me,
I will be forever thine!
I will Joyfully thy bread win.
I will slave and toil for thee—
Only whisper, gentle Edwin,
Whisper that thou lovest me!
Sweet, no longer In the city
Shalt thou droop they little head;
Thou shalt tend thy flowers, my pretty* 1
In thy garden here Instead;
Thou shalt warble like a starling
Mid the roses on the wall—
Thou thyself, my coy, wee darling,.
Fairest bud among them all!
I will keep thee In cigars, love—
Nay, dear Edwin, wherefore groan?
By the moon and sun and stars, love.
Thou shalt always choose thine own
Thein, my darling, do not tremble.
Do not shrink from my caress!
Ah, I know It—don't dissemble—
Darling Edwin, answer yes!
—Ted Robinson In Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Valuable Advice.
“A cat sits on my back fence every
night, and he yotvls and yowls and:
yowls,” complained a young lawyer’*
client ‘‘Now, I don't want to hav»
any trouble with Neighbor Smith, but
this thing has gone far enough, and 1.
want you to tell me what to do.”
The lawyer looked as solemn as ao|
owl and said not a word.
“I have a right to shoot the cat.
haven’t I?”
I would hardly say that, replied '
the young lawyer. “The cat does not
belong to you, as I understand It-”'
“No, but the fence does.” \
“Then,” concluded the light of ther
law, “I think It safe to say you have a
perfect right to tear down the fence.***.
—Everybody’s.
Ready Anewer. 1
The schoolmistress was exnnriningp •
her pupils before some visitors.
'‘Who knows what useful article is
furnished for us by the elephant!”
she asked.
“Ivory,” was the prompt reply ofi
nearly all.
“And what do w» get from the
whale?”
“Whalebone.” several answered.
“Quite right And what from the
seal ?”
“Sealing wax,” replied Peter.—Phil
adelphia Ledger.
Champions.
w r
The Pullet—They say the ostrich
ruu faster than any other bird.
, The Turkey—Mebbe so. But any-j
how I hold the trotting record.—ChtJ
cago News.
- y
Worse Yet.
“He’s a frightful bore, your baro*^
Here he’s been buzzing the wbolW
evening long about Kant and Schopeor'
hauer.” »
“Ton have my sympathy. For" my
part I detest philosophical-' disco*-'
slons.”
“Philosophical discussions, indeed!)
Kant and Schopenhauer are the name*l
of the baron's two horses.”—New Yacki,
Post 1
Better OflT. ‘ ^
Father—Upon my word, you children
are getting too dainty for anything.'
Jam and butter on the same piece oC
bread, indeed! Why, when I was yooup
age I was glad to get enough dry brea6
to eat
Robert—You have a much better tlm* -
living with us, don't you, father?—
National Monthly.
Legal Procedure.
The sinner had been weighed In the
balance and found wanting.
Whereupon the attorney for the sin
ner filed a motion for a new trial on
the ground that the scales were out oC
order.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
- j
Discreetly Noncommittal.
"Come over here and tell me what:
you think of your teacher.” ;
“TJh-uh.”
“But why not?"
“If I talked like that dad’d lick m*.*"
—Houston Post.
Borrowing Trouble.
“You might let me have the car ttg
an hour, uncle.”
“All right, my boy, you can have It."
“And, I say, you can let me have the
price of a couple of fines or so!”—Lm
don Opinion.
- (’
The Modern Craze.
“The doctor says I must quit smalt
ing. One iung Is nearly gone.”
“Oh, dear. John! Can’t you hofd'cel
until we get enough coupons for tiMt
dining room rug?”—Washington Her*-'
aid.
The Seemingly Impossible Explained.
“P* had the last word in an argu
ment with ma, as usual, last night”
“The last word, as usual?”
“Yes. He apologized again.”—Do^
troit Free Press.
Marital Explanation.
He—Did you take me for a fool?
She—No. If I had known it before Y
wouldn’t have taken you.—Baltl