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THUKSIJAY. dev. 16. 1U43 CHAPTER II—Private Hargrove tells of the physical exam, the first few days of army, how he was out fitted with his uniform, and how on the sixth day he received his first KP duty. He is classified as a semi skilled cook. CHAPTER III—Hargrove relates his conversation with his sergeant who is trying to find out why he spends so much time on KP duty. He also reports on the session the trainees are put through by the ex ercise sergeant. He has trouble learning how to handle his rifle and is given plenty of special attention by the sergeant and corporal. CHAPTER IV—Private Hargrove relates some of the incidents sur rounding the advancement in rank by some of his friends. Why he fails to so advance is a puzzle to his sergeant, who inquires about it. CHAPTER V—Hargrove is given review of his faults by his ser geant who tells him to snap out of it and start working for his cor poral’s stripes. He also gets a les son in the art of goldbricking. CHAPTER VI—Private Hargrove lists a series of army slang defini tions for the enlightenment of the civilian population. He also tells how he and two of his pals spoil a perfectly good date for one Private Zuber. Going home on furlough he goes to visit a newspaperman friend who dominates their conversation recounting his experiences in the first World War. He also under goes another trying experience at inspection. CHAPTER VII—Private Hargrove continues to relate the incidents sur rounding his camp life and tells about being outfitted for an over coat. A week-end is spent on man euvers on the South Carolina coast He gets a good case of sunburn. CHAPTER VIII—Hargrove gets his first taste of army cooking school reports on his daily activi ties there. He tells also about the real meaning of army morale and how it affects new inductees. CHAPTER IX—How the evening bull sessions progress and how much the soldiers enjoy them are the sub ject of Private Hargrove’s next re port He learns he has been re classified to do public relations work on the camp paper. “Private Hargrove,” I said to my self, “you have been doing quite too much gallivanting lately. There have been too many movies, too many bull sessions, too many hours spent at the Service Club and too much time spent flirting with that cute little waitress at the delicates sen in Fayetteville. Tonight, Pri vate Hargrove, you will take this in teresting and improving book, read it until Lights Out and go to bed promptly at nine o’clock.’’ There was a little back talk, a little argument, a little entreaty. How’ever, the forces of Truth and Progress prevailed. Immediately after supper I adjourned to the squadrcom, arranged myself com fortably on my bunk and dug into the interesting book. Peace and quiet held sway about me. As luck would have it, this same sudden decision toward a Quiet eve ning at Home struck several fellow members of the squadroom at the same time. Six or seven near-by bunks sported occupants who usu ally disdained the comforts of home until at least nine o’clock. Books were brought out from the foot lock ers, pens and papers made their appearance, and one ambitious and energetic flower of the nation even got out his shoe polish and went to work. Private Wesley Sager, late of Am sterdam, New York, grew weary of the quiet. Yawning widely, he rolled over in bed and with a sudden swoop yanked the pillow from be neath the head of Private Melvin Hart. “Yippee,” screamed Private Sager, tossing the pillow across the squadroom to a willing accomplice. “Yippee,” screamed the willing ac complice, tossing the pillow back to Private Sager. Private Hart rose and retrieved his pillow with dignity and formali ty. He placed it on his bunk, smoothed it and laid his head upon it. Three privates sighed in resigna-, tion. The incorrigibles were at it again. Private Sager lay quiet for a while. Then he broke into a loud, regular, but unconvincing snore. The three sighing privates did not re turn to their occupations, but lay in philosophic expectation. Once the boys in that corner got started, nothing but physical exhaustion could stop them. Private Sager turned as if tossing in his sleep. Private Hart noted the move and held his book ready to strike if a hand came toward his pillow. Private Sager turned again, facing away from Private Hart, and Private Hart relaxed his vigil. When he did, the hand shot out once more and the pillow sailed across the room and into waiting arms. Again Private Hart retrieved the pillow and again he lay down. “Why/’ he asked, “%wst you behave Private Hargrove! by Marion Hargrove SYNOPSIS CHAPTER I—Edward Thomas Marion Lawton Hargrove, feature editor of the Charlotte (N. C.) News, receives notice from his draft board that he is to be inducted into the army. Before he begins an account ing of his actual experiences in training camp he issues his quota of free advice to prospective in ductees. After his induction Har grove, with his new buddies, leaves for Fort Bragg, where he is to re ceive his basic training. like a two-year-old infant? Can’t you act like a normal adult?” “Sure I can,” Private Sage’ re plied. “Kindly step outside with me and put up your fists.” Private Hart gave vent to a quiet and gentlemanly oath. “Please do me the honor to shut your mouth,” he requests. “I should like to read •without the clamor of your big yap roaring in my ears.” This is but the opening gun. Al most daily it marks the beginning of a half-hour session of blusters, threats, extravagantly insulting re marks, and repeated invitations from each side for the other to step outside and settle it. Nothing ever comes of it and soon the contending parties tire of the play. Silence reigns again, but its throne is shaky. Private Hart tires of his book and turns to Private Sager. “Were you at the dance last night when the redhead got started telling what she thought of Jim Carney’s dancing?” Private Carney picks up the bait. “Anything Hart says about me or about what anybody else says about me is entirely fictitious, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental and not intend ed/’ Private Sager sits up suddenly in bed. “Don’t talk like that about Hart,” he says in a quiet, serious, and menacing voice. “Anything you say about Hart is a personal insult to me. If you’re inclined to insult me, kindly take off your stripe and step outside with me.” “Don’t you go talking like that to the ranking first-class private of this section,” rasps Private Hart. “I don’t like your manner at all. Kind ly step outside with me while I beat your brains out.” If you want peace and quiet on these stay-at-home nights, the best solution is to go to the second bar racks down the line. There’s no body down there except fifty-eight members of the band, who are al ways rehearsing at this time of night. -Ra- Slang runs wild in the Army. It’s like a disease or the liquor habit. Among the boys who sit around on the back steps after Lights Out and bat the breeze far into the night, no simple and understandable Eng lish word is used where a weird and outlandish concoction can be sub stituted. Water is GI lemonade. Salt is sand or Lot’s wife pepper is specks sugar is sweetening com pound. Milk is cat beer butter, dogfat. Ketchup is blood. In the untiring imagination of the soldier, green peas become China berries A new and gullible man is sent for the cannon report, or the rubber flag which is used on rainy days. hominy grits are glamorized into Georgia ice cream rice is swamp seed. Potatoes become Irish grapes prunes change to strawberries hot cakes become blankets. Bread is punk and creamed beef on toast is punk and salve. Meat loaf and hash are kennel rations. It is strictly against the code of the Army to say a complimentary word about the food or the cook, no matter how good the food is or how hard the cook labors to make it so. Oscar of the Waldorf in the Army, would still be either a slum-burner or a belly-robber. Back at the News, the boys in the composing room and the mailing department used to send greenhorns searching all over the building for erasing ink, striped or dotted ink, paper stretchers, and other non ex istent items. Here, a new and gul lible man is sent for the cannon re port, or for the biscuit gun, the flagpole key, or the rubber flag which is used on rainy days. Here are some of the most popu lar figures of speech: Army Bible—the Articles of War regulations. Barrage—a party, especially where the Demon Rum rears its ugly head. Blanket drill—sleep. Butchershop—9 dispensary or hospital. By the numbers—like clock work with precision and effi ciency. Chili bowl—regulation haircut. Chest hardware—medals. Didie pins—the gold bars of a second lieutenant. Dog robber—an orderly. The eagle—money. On pay day, the eagle flies. Front and center—come for ward. Flying time—sleep. Gashouse—a beer joint. Glue—honey. Goof off—to make a mistake. Handshaking—playing up to superiors. Higher brass the higher rarks-Qt officers,_____________ PeManal Dreaming of a White Christmas .. well we got it Tuesday what if it was ten days early everything about Christmas has been early this year. mailed overseas gifts way back in October and Christmas cards galore and shopping got underway so early that the boys aren’t expecting much last minute buying and retailers will tell you off the record, of course that this Christmas season is the tops for cash customers and the volume could have been much more if there had been enough merchandise and buying has lost much of last year’s war hysteria shoppers taking substitutes in their stride—all except the subdebs who can’t forget nylon hose and to think that grandma lived for eighty years, happily, we trust, without ny lons winter’s here officially since the News editor got his fur cap out of mothballs Monday and the kids are asking Santa for ice skates with prospects of using them since the cold snap Monday night but maybe Santa can’t bring anything this year—'cause he may have flu like everyone else now ... all of w’hich leaves us wondering how we’re going to sing joyous Christmas carols with a cold in our head and frog in our throat. Bluffton will welcome a hometown girl Sunday night when Opal Berry Stauffer of Columbus appears as one of the soloists at the^annual Messiah concert. One of the oustanding vocal ists of the capital city, she got her stirt on a music career in a local church choir and Bluffton college con servatory. How many of you folks who went to Bluffton Grade school ever saw the furnace room. We remember of peerin into it once—a rather dark and gloomy place—uninviting to say the least. But now it’s one of the show spots of the building since Janitor Hollywood corporal—an acting corporal. Holy Joe—the chaplain. Honey wagon the garbage truck. Housewife—a soldier’s sewing kit. Jubilee—reveille, w-hich is too often pronounced “revelee.” Mother Machree—a sob-story alibi. Pocket lettuce—paper money. Pontoon checks canteen checks, good for credit at* the post exchange. Ride the sickbook—to gold brick the easy way by pretend ing to be ill. Shoulder hardware—the shoul der insignia of a commissioned officer. THE BLUftTON NEWS, Hl tiFTTOX. OTHO For general purposes set the thermostat on your automatic gas heater at 130 degrees F. if the heater is a storage type, a few quarts of water should be drained out by means of a faucet at the bottom, about once a month to prevent sediment. Avoid waste through dripping faucets. If your heater is operated manually, do not heat more water than you need as water stored in uninsulated tanks cools rapidly. Do not ute more hot water than neces sary. Avoid waste. Remember: Take care of wKat you have. WEST OHIO GAS CO Leri Gable has painted and decorated it and invited pupils and teachers in to see what a difference a little paint will make. Janitor Gable, formerly a painter by trade, is making good use of his ability in brightening up the old building. Confusion in livestock circles—re ports that calves were selling all the w-ay from 25c to $2 at a community auction the past w-eek. Lack of feed, labor shortage and conditions gen erally, make buyers hesitant to make commitments, farmers say. Yes sir—there will be a Winter Fair in Bluffton after boys et back from attending to business in Europe and south Pacific. And the fair will be bigger and better than ever—in order to make up for the years missed during the war. Salary boost for three of Bluffton’s municipal offices going into effect the first of the year—including the board of public affairs—the one really hot spot in the town’s roster. Sate highway crews measuring the width of Bluffton’s Main street, Mon day afternoon. Nothing of undue significance as some onlookers' sus pected. They w-ere taking measure ments in order to run a white center dividing line for traffic down the mid dle of the street. “We read the News from stem to stern,” said Lt. (j. g.) James Miller of St. Augustine, Florida, here with his family on leave for a week. Just in case you can’t identify him, we’ll hasten to explain that it’s Jim Miller, former Bluffton high school backfield man on the football team who used to spark the Pirates’ attack. He’s now in the coast guard and handles sailor terms like an old salt. This winter may see some new fur coats made from locally taken skins. Several trappers are reported to be accumulating pelts with this aim in view. Thought for the week— "The pen alty which the good, refusing to gov ern, must pay, is to be governed by worse men.” Socrates. Enamel Garbage Pail Injured spots on a white-enameled garbage pail may be healed by first rubbing with steel wool or sand paper to remove rust and to pro duce a smooth surface, then painting over with refrigerator enamel. Bread Worshiped by Many Bread is truly worshiped in cer tain parts of the world. In Moroc co, for example, it is considered unholy to cut bread with a knife, and in mountainous regions of Asia it is treasured so highly that it is wrapped in silk and locked in a strong box. HERE’S HOW TO HAVE PLENTY OF HOT WATER for THE DURATION... Rockport Miss Elnora Marshall spent the past week in the Ray Marshall home assisting Mrs. Marshall while Mr. Marshall is in the hospital. Cadet Kenneth Marshall was re cently transferred from the Univer sity of Indiana at Bloomington, Ind. to the University of Cincinnati to continue his studies. Miss Elizabeth Campbell spent a couple of days the past week with her sister, Mrs. Delmar Reagan in Dayton. Lieut, and Mrs. Reagan re turned home with her and were over Sunday guests of Mr. and Mrs. D. C. Campbell. The annual Christmas program will be given at the Presbyterian church Sunday evening at 8 o’clock. Anyone interested is cordially invit ed. Mrs. W. E. Marshall attended a dinner last Tuesday evening when Mrs. Harold Bales, Worthy Matron of Bluffton chapter, O. E. S. enter tained her officers afid a group of friends associated with her the past year. The dinner was given in the home of Mrs. Bales parents, Mr. and Mrs. John Watkins in Bluffton. Mrs. Milton Downs of Lima and son Paul, who was at home on fur lough, took dinner last Wednesday with Mr. and Mrs. F. C. Marshall and son Robert. Mrs. Harold Marshall opened her home to members of the Au Revoir club for a dinner meeting last Thurs day. The day was spent with needle work. Mrs. Clarence Begg was a guest. Word was received here that Miss Clara Dunlap a music teacher of near Vaugnsville, who is well known here, was killed when her automobile was struck by a train on a country road near Vaugnsville, Saturday morning. The Methodist missionary society will meet Thursday evening in the home of Mrs. Clyde Van Meter for their December program and a gift exchange. Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Marshall spent a couple of days last week in the vicinity of Windsor, Ont. Mrs. Sidney Hauenstein will open her home to members of the Friend ly Neighbors club for the December meeting, Thursday afternoon. The following program has been arrang ed: Song, Club Roll call, Bible verse, Devotions, Mrs. Osa Reams "Christ mas Story”, Miss Elnora Marshall Poem, Mrs. Clyde Van Meter Sing ing accompanied by Mrs. William Stephens. A gift exchange will be a feature of the social hour. Miss Beard of the Extension Dept, at Ohio State University and Miss Ruth Winner, Allen county Home Demonstration agent will be at Mon roe Center, Friday of this week to All of us who live in Ohio no matter what our jobs may be would have a hard time even imagining this State of ours without its great industries in opera tion. In peacetime they wrote a big chapter in the history of America’s in dustrial progress—now in wartime they are one of the most powerful “arsenals of Democracy”! In the last peacetime count, 10,070 indi vidual manufacturing establishments were employing far more than half a million fellow citizens in Ohio to turn out goods valued at billions of dollars yearly. Today many of these plants are manufacturing products far removed from their usual merchandise—building well the tools of total war for use on fighting front and home front alike. give a demonstration of the care and repair of household equipment and electrical appliances. All women of Monroe township in particular are urged to attend, and bring with you something that needs repairing and the necessary equipmet for it's re pair. All are asked to bring a screwdriver. The demonstration starts at 10 o’clock with a pot luck dinner at the noon hour. This is your invitation. Fire of undetermined origin de stroyed the general store in Rock port, owned and operated by Mr. and Mrs. Wilber Lentz. The fire was discovered about 10:30, Thursday night by Mrs. Milford Everett who notified the people of the village and a call was put in for the Lentz family who had gone to their home in Columbus Grove, the Bluffton fire department was called and neighbors of the community summoned, but the fire had gained such headway that no one could enter, so the building and all its contents were burned. OHIO PINE RESTAURANT 140 N. Main Street Phone 368-W GREYHOUND Public Sale Owing to the death of my husband, I will sell at public auction 2 miles west and miles north of Beaverdam, or 2 miles southwest of Rockport Friday, December 17 2 HORSES—Consisting of bay team 7 and 9 years old, weight 2800, good work pair. 5 CATTLE—Shorthorn cow with calf by side Brown Swiss cow with calf by side black heifer with calf by side Brown Swiss cow to freshen in spring Brown Swiss bull calf 8 months old. HOGS—8 shoats averaging 125 pounds. FARM MACHINERY Black Hawk corn planter McCormick grain binder 7 ft. cut walking breaking plow sulky plow 2 row com cultivator single row cultivator tandem disc hay rake 4 inch burr mill harness and collars. HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE Kalamazoo range Florence heating stove reed living room suite bookcase leather davenport oak bedroom suite dresser commode rocking chairs table and chairs cupboard oil stove and other articles. Sale to begin at 12:30 P. M. Terms—Cash. PAGE SEVER This is the first time in the mem ory of the people of the community that there has been no store in the village and it is being sorely missed. It is rumored that the store will be rebuilt since the Lentz’s new home next to the store is nearly completed and ready for occupancy. The loss is partially covered by insurance. Our Want-ads bring results. D. C. BIXEL, O. D. GORDON BIXEL, O.D. Citizens Bank Bld*., Bluffton EYESIGHT SPECIALISTS Office Hours: 9:00 A. M.—5:30 P. M. Evenings: Mon.. Wed., Fri., Sat. 7:30 to 8:30 P. M. Closed Thursday Afternoon. FARM BUREAU INSURANCE Auto—Fire—Life—Liability Paul E. Whitmer. Agent 245 W. Grove St.—Phone 350-W _________ Bluffton. Ohio OSA REAM Auct., Leonard Gratz Clerk, Arthur Weaver These great industries the largest among them being the steel, motor vehicle, rubber, machinery, and meat packing industry—directly or indirectly affect us all. They give jobs to people we know, utilize the services of thou sands of others, use the produce of our State, pay taxes—and provide the things we, our armed forces and our Allies need. We who keep Greyhound buses rolling across our State take pride in the indus trial achievements of our fellow citizens of Ohio and take part in them too! Our job is a big one—transporting Ohio’s manpower to factories, foundries and farms, keeping essential wartime travel on the move, making near neighbors and good neighbors of all the communities our buses serve in Ohio.