Newspaper Page Text
LUKE LATHER. AFTER HOOD. Lm ii Latrkr wii i barber, ilrt ; And lived at Islington: Be oed to soap hi customer. And laid It thickly on. And yet he was no flatterer. For often be would carp At what they Mid. and belnj blunt, He took them op quito sharp. Tern wry atranea a mm to pert Could so expertly shave: But thongh no one could better scrape, lie never learned to aave. m clrcnmstancea belne straight, All thlnpn with him wort wry ; Ills fnnds'were low, no doubt Dccaue H held lila head so high. For It waa fonnd by all who crossed Tlie threshold of his door, Tho more be took their heard away, lie boarded them the more. And o ble customer fell off. Because hi tongue ran on. And wince no folk came In hie abop, lie found hia income gone. lie tried to borrow, but hla friend nd so nnfrlenrily crown. They left him to himself, and yet lie could not get loan. He thought " How cold tbla ernol world I" On ita wide arasta adrift ; Aril went and pawned hla ahlrt, for be Waa put to such, a abilt. He pensive, grew, through lack of pence, And melancholy eyed; And getting nuite.hoslde hlmaelf, Committed suicide. And ao be pissed, a chlldleaa man, The victim of despair, (For thongh he hslr had often dyed, He died without an heir.) And having nothing else to spend, He spent hla latent, breath , And all who once had known him a&ld It waa a barharoua death. "AnVr Jntirnnl. AFTER HOOD. Selected Miscellany. PRACTICAL JOKES. Althotoh we arc all crown so practical. and study how to become more practical with daily increasing success yet practical j oking is at a discount. Practical jokes are often vulgar, witless, stupid, ill-natured; and it is really impossible to deny that the popular verdict is a correct one : But how amusing they often are 1 And, after all, is not that the great tiling ? Man, look you, is the only animal (the hyena excepted) that can laugh, and is not this laughter as valuable a noon as either of hfs other characteristics? A fine use he often makes of his reason! The gift of speech is an edged tool which frequently cuts himself, and is always doing mischief; but who ever failed to receive benefit, both bodily and mentally, from a hearty laugh ? It as sists the digestion, clears the brain, and softens the heart. Now, I think I receive as much pleasure as any one from a witty repartee or a hu morous description; but did you ever see any one trying to get into an apple-pie bed? Did they call "absence" at vour school on holidays to prevent the Doys from straying too far? They did at ours ; and on fine summer days, when the mas ter read the names over in the playing fields, it was a common trick for one of us to creep on his hands and knees behind a boy whose turn was coming, while another gave him a slight push on the chest at the critical moment. To see a lad hold up his hat, and shout " Here, sir 1" and simultan eously take a back-somersault, was really very comical. You must, in your youth, have either set or fallen into a " booby-trap." It consist ed, you may remember, of books, boots, ta, balanced on the top of a door, which was left ajar so that the first incomer got a solid shower-bath. Another trick was to pour water into a stone ink-bottlo, cork it tightly, and slip it between the bars of a boy's grate on a winter's evening, when he was returning to his room after a temporary absence, the nozzle, of course, directed towards his chair. The tenant returned, and sat down to his verses or translation ; presently the water began to boil, and the steam fired off the cork at him. The fun of a practical joke consists in the surprise of the victim, and this was certainly attained by gently turning up a cupboard-bed with its inmate. The aston ishment of a sound sleeper on finding him self standing on his head in a cupboard, is very great indeed, but it is a mercy that no boy was ever stilled. Children, indeed, are probably as much given to practical joking now as ever they were ; it is to be hoped so, for only in ex ceptional cases do boys understand any other kind of jest; and a human being without fun is in a morbid, unhealthy con dition. The same remarks apply to those classes of the commuuity who have received least intellectual education. It is shallow to cry out against their horse-play; horse play is ten thousand times better than no play at all. The newspapers are always very harsh when treating of tho little ec centricities of army men; and whether this pressure of public opinion has cowed them, or competitive examinations have sobered them, or an undue proportion of Indian service has made them languid, or Aldershott has bored them into listless ncss, it is the fact that even in crack cav alry regiments there is very little practi cal joking now. Certainly they Uhed to carry the thing too far; there seems to an outsider but little humor in cutting off the tail of a man's charger, or smashing his barrack furniture. An acquaintance of mine with a some what saturnine, disposition, who entered the army late, met the ordeal to which newly joined ensigns in his regiment were customarily put in a very dangerous man ner. Having been warned that his barrack-room would probaby be invaded in , the middle of the night, and all his clothes and chattels subjected to a hay-making process, he barricaded his door, and when Lis brother officers began to burst it in, he sent a pistol-bullet through the panel about half a foot over their heads. They let him alone after that Perhaps the decline of practical joking both in the army and amongst civilians is due in a great measure to the abolition of duelling. It seems mean to play tricks upon a man who has no redress in case he should take serious otfense ; and this un doubtedly is the weak part of the practice, that it necessitates a victim. This is the case, indeed, with the majority of our amusements: onecannot win a game with out another losing it ; fox-hunting is un pleasant tor the fox ; and shoo'.ing entails pain and death upon the objects of our sport j neither does anybody, however f:ood a face he may put upon the matter, ike to be made game of. But in the lost instance there is an element of treachery which distinguishes it from the others ; to insure the success of a practical joke, it is generally necessary to lull the victim into a false security. Altogether, then, I am afraid we must let practical joking, at least among edu cated adults, go to limbo; but surely there can be no harm In liking to hear about it I hope not ; for to hear or read of a good trick amuses me vastly. Who can read the life of thnt emperor of practical joking, Theodore nook, without enjoyment? Who would not have liked to be in the secret of the great Beroers Street Hoax, or But I must steer clear of anecdotes which the reader has by heart. This one is not so generally known: In the year 1773, a nephew of the Em peror of Morocco visited Paris as his uncle's ambassador. He was received with great pomp at the court, and all the no bility vied with one another in giving him fete. Certain young men thought this afforded them a good opportunity for play ing a trick upon a very pretentious man ntuiod Seplenville, a rich horse-dealer. Tbey began by persuading him that he ought to invite the Moorish prince to a frteaX his country-house, which was one of the mist beautiful in the environs of Paris; they assured him that they had su melon t influence to persuade XI U Excellency to accept the invitation and honor the affair with his presence. They pointed out to him that the money it cost would be well spent in the end ; that a connection of this description would give great notoriety to hi business, and enable him to extend it considerably, and that very likely His Excellency would, out of gratitude, send hiiu some Barbs. Seplen ville calculated all theae advantages, and decided without much atruggle to receive Site VOL. XVI.-NO. 21. PEKRYSBURG, WOOD CO., OHIO, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 1868. $2.00 IN ADVANCE. , the ambassador, with all tho expense and show proper on the occasion. Some days afterwards, he was informed that His Ex cellency consented to do him tho honor of passing a day at his place, to which he would come on such a day, at such an hour. The merchant immediately began doing all he could think of to render his house worthy of receiving such a guest : he ordered fireworks of Torre, the great man of the ago in that line; he had his frrounds and the front of his house bril iantly illuminated ; he engaged the most celebrated musicians at a great expense ; he sent out invitations to all tho nobility, and people of fashion whose names and addresses he could get hold of. to the court, to the most distinguished foreign ers, : an me nanusomest actresses. Ui course, the arrangements for the banquet were on a scale corresponding with all the other preparations. On the annointcd dav. after havlnc al lowed himself to be waited for for some time, the ambassador, accompanied by all his court, arrived in a magnificent car riage. He was received with a flattering address, to which he replied by means of an interpreter. He ws asked to sing, aud consented wllh tho utmost affability. The fete went on capitally, and Septenvillo was out of his wits with joy. At tne banquet, no refused to sit at table with so illustrious a guest. but insisted on standing behind his chair with a napkin under his arm. The ball opened, and the guests enjoyed themselves thoroughly without expecting any trick, till three o'clock in tho morning, when a body of soldiers and police appeared in the ball-room. They had come to take the sham ambassador Into custody; and Septcnvillo found he had been "duped. The man who played the ambassador was the sen of a bookseller named Prault He was precisely of the tame age and Bhape as the Moorish Prince, and was so well got up as to deceive everybody. That was as carefully prepared a hoax as any Hook was ever guilty of, and the French used to be quite as much addicted to practical joking as ourselves ; indeed, I fancy that the palm for ingenuity in such matters must be awarded to them, for the plots of some of our best mystifications have come from the samo country that supplies ns so liberally with the framework or our piays. The idea of sending innumerable coffins, hearses, wedding carriages, pictures, beds, tables, &c at a eiven day and hour, to an unfortunate individual's house, was origi nally French. But, after all, these elaborate jokes are not so humorous ss those which are spon taneous, such as the following ; A young French gentleman, who led a very gay life, going to bed late and getting up late, lodged in an entresol. A milkwo man took up her position under his win dow, and the chattering of her customers, with the braying of her donkey, effectual ly destroyed his slumbers. In vain he re monstrated ; the milkwoman said she had a right to the pavement, and that place suited her. He got up, went out, and reasoned with her. No good. What, then, would she take to select an other station ? Nothing ; ho was an aris tocrat, and she made it a point of honor to stand upon her rights. "Well, then," he said at last, " since you will not listen to reason, I must appeal to your donkey ;" and he whispered in Neddy's ear, the crowd which had gathered round laughing at him till ho ran in. Presently, however, the donkey began to kick and pkinge as if it were possessed, spilling all the milk, butter, cheese, &c The woman cried out " Witchcraft ;" the crowd took up the cry ; aud there was such a riot that the police came. " What is the matter ? " asked the com missary. " A young man who lives on tne entre sol has bewitched my ass," replied the milkwoman. Pooh, pooh ! " said the commissary ; but the woman would not be pooh, pooh-ed, and he had to take her up to tho gentleman's apartments and confront him with the complainant. She told her story at length. The young man waited patiently till she had quite (lone, and then said : " Sir, the woman has spoiled my night's rest for this month past. I have complained, I have entreated ; she has scorned my requests and my prayers. I could not revenge myself upon a woman ; but her donkey, who is mascu line, had no such claim upon my forbear ance ; besides, the peculiar cries of the animal are what is most distressing to me. This ass, as avaricious as his mistress, has a sister upon whose succession he count ed, but who is going to marry again ; it was this news, whispered by me in his ear, which exasperated him to such a degreee that he conducted himself in so violent a manner." Tho commissary, who could hardly keep his countenance, said that the young man had better pay for the milk that was spi't, and advised the milkweman to move her station beyond the reach of a man who had such a peculiar power of conversing with animals. Both assented, and the wo man took the money, crossing herself, and went. "And now, then," said the commissary to the young man, " how did you do it ?" " I dropped a lighted fusee in the brute's ear," said he. A French auditor of accounts in the seventeenth century was a great practical joker all his life, and even played a trick alter he had lost tne power ot enjoying it, for he left four large candles to be carried at his funeral, which had not been burn ing fifteen minutes before they went off as fireworks. When a lady condescends to a practical joke it is generally a very neat one. M. iioncourt, , tne rich nnancier, was very stingy to his wife in the matter of pin money. One day a lady, closely veiled, and very anxious not to be recognized, called upon him, and borrowed a very large sum, leaving her diamonds as a pledge. It was his wife. The French thieves sometimes used to steal so funnily that even their victims were half inclined to pardon them. The Duke of Frousac, nephew of Mar shal Richelieu, was coming out of the opera one night in a splendid dress em broidered with pearls, when two thieves managed to cut off his coat-tails. He turned into his club, where everybody laughed at him, ad so he found out what had happened, and went home. Early next morning, a well-dressed man called at the Duke's hotel, and demanded to see him at once, on a matter of most vital importance. Monsieur de Frou sac was awakened. " Monseigneur," said the visitor, " I am an officer of- po lice. Monsieur, the lieutenant of police, has learned the accident which happened to you yesterday on leaving the opera, and I have been sent by him to request you to order the coat to be placed in my hands, that we may convict the offend f 'J'fT S,mParlni? 1 with the mutilated taita. The dress was given up, and the Duke was in raptures with the vigilance of the police. But it waa a new trick of the rogue who had stolen the tails, by which he possessed himself of the entire garment. The ancients nsod to Indulge in practical jokes to a considerable extent; for in stance, the Thracians, at their drlcklng- Earties, sometimes played the game of anging. They fixed a round noose to the bough of a tree, and placed under neath it a stone of such a shape that it would easily turn round when any one stood on it. Then they drew lots j aud he who drew the lot took a sickle in his hand, stood on the stone, and put bis neck into the halter. The stone was kicked way ; and if he could cut himself down with the sickle, well and good ; but it he was not quick enough, he was hanged out right ; " and tho rest laugh, thinking it good sptrt" Then there was some oM gentleman I forget his name and nation who pre tended to make friends with his enemy, Itnd asked him to dinner ; and, for the last course, a large diah was brought In, which proved, when uncovered, to contain the heads of the guest's wife and family. This was carrying a Joke almost too far. Nero's Jests were likewise very prac tical. "What a fat fellow that senator is I" he observed one day to a courtier j " see me cut him in two t" and he did it in the most facetious manner. Indeed, in the early stage of civilization, practical wit is apt to be grim; as society advances. Jokes at other people's expense are not quite so heartless; when we reach a certain pitch of refinement, nothing gives us pleasure which causes pain to another, and then there is a chance of practical Joking dyingout altogether ex cept in the case of boys, who will proba bly never bo humanized, Chamber' Journal. GOD—GRANT—VICTORY. BY SHORNBERY. Tub natton'e voice ring out once more, For him who led hla boat before, To gtrd again hla armor on. Till one more victory shall be won. Thnt glorious chieftain, then, we greet. Who never vet has known defeat. And at the front the banner plant, KruolnKoned with the name of UhantI Uxttlrtmta txttly victory Once again our battle cry ahall be, And once agalu we'lrbeat the men Who fought u four long yeara in rata I No rebel horde conld e'er withstand 1 he fury of hia warring hand ; No fearful, mean hypocrisy Could long escape his watchful eye ; Straightforward to the end ho'll go Past seeming friend and open loo. And fight It out on Freedom's line, Beneath the llnlon'e star divine. (rod(Himtapfiy victory Once ninre our battle-cry ahall 1m, And ouce again we'll beat the men Who fought ua four long yeara iu Tall I " 'Twill take all anmmor," but at laat. To know the nation's trouble pant, Hhall well be worth the hard campaign; So each one to hla potit again " Trust God and keep hia powder dry " Pause not till rebel colore lie Prostrate where now they boldly flaunt And thank kind Heaven that Omnia l a Grant I (ml (rant a toeeity tic'ory Unce more our battle-cry ahall be. And once Bgaln we'll beat the men Who fought ua four long year in vain I The Rosecrans-Lee Correspondence. Tna letter of General Rosccrans to Gen eral Lee was evidently written in flio in terest of Seymour and Blair. It is accord ingly couched in the language with which the Northern Democracy are wont to approach their superiors. General Kosecrans draws near to General Lee " with his heart in his hand, to learn the condi tions, wishes and intentions of the people of the Southern States." He had forgot ten that General Lee's conditions are writ ten in a parole which he took at Appo mattox Court House. They require him to elxy the law in force ictere he reidti. Perhaps General Kosecrans never heard of those conditions. It would have been be coming in General Lee to have reminded him of them before reciting any others. General Kosecrans proceeds to say that ho especially desires to "ascertain the aentiuients of those brave, energetic and self-sacrificing men, who, after sustaining the Confederacy for four years, laid down their arms and swore allegiance to the Government of the United States." Tho spirit of self-sacrifice which enabled Gen eral Lee and his men to lay down their arms at Appomattox certainly requires a certificate from somebody to establish it General Rosccrans ought to have put it in the form of an affidavit. Without the solemnity of an oath it might be ques tioned by some people, and might fail to pass into history as veritable and undis puted truth, especially where it is known that General Kosecrans is no friend of General Grant, and that he might seek to disparage the hitter's military achieve ments, by making it appear that Lee and his army were not captured, but laid down their arms in a gush of self sacrificing patriotism. Generals Lee and Beauregard, in their answer, acknowledge that peaceable se cession and the restoration of slavery are no longer possible, and that they consider these questions settled. General Lee then states, on his own responsibility, that " at the close of the war the Southern people laid down their arms and sought to re sume their former relations with the United States Government." This is not exactly true. When the Southern people had their arms taken from them by su perior force, and when their Generals and their soldiers were captives in the hands of the Union armies, the war closed and not before. The Southern people never laid down their arms, but it is true that while their leaders and politicians were going about, as it were, with halters around their necks, they did seek to be restored to office and to the control, man agement and direction of the government they had fought to destroy. These men, who upon oath abjured all allegiance to the Union ; who had upon oath repudiated the National Constitution, the moment they were taken prisoners of war, and were liable to be hanged for treason, de manded the right to cast two votes each in all subsequent elections, one for them selves and one for their liberated slaves. The American people have put an end to that anomaly, and, therefore, General Lee and General Beauregard, aid the other recent rebels, doubt whether there can be permanent peace. In 1800-61, these men said there could be no peace so long as trie Union sought to maintain its authority against the objections of "sovereign Slates." The American people, however, found out a way to enforce a peace, and they will maintain that peace, whether Lee and his associates are content or not. These men say that " if the advances of the Southern people had been met in a spirit of frankness and cordiality" the wounds inflicted by the war would have been healed. In other words, if the rebel Senators and Representatives had been in vited to resume seats in Congress; if Howell Cobb and Jake Thompson were restored to the Cabinet ; if Lee and Beau regard were put in positions in the army on terms of equality with Grant and Sher man ; if the Southern dynasty wei re stored to power and peace, then the South might have, " in a measure." for gotten the injuries she sustained in the war. These gentlemen rebels tell General Kosecrans that tho Southern people would have no hostility to the Government were they not deprived of their rights under the Constitution ; these rights they ask to have restored to them. " Above all," say they, " they weuld appeal to their coun trymen for the re-establishment in the Southern States of that which has justly been regarded the birthright of every American the right of self-government" This birthright of every American, these rebels say, cannot be, by any possible means, extended to four millions of native born free people of the Southern Slates, "The birthright of every American" means, according to their logic, the right of nine millions of persons to do all the voting for themselves and for four other millions of American citizens. Four gen erations of blacks have grown up under the foterinir care, tha Lumaniiinsr pre cepts, the Christian example, and the "mu tual kindness" rule of the whites; and yet these whiles demand that they must con tinue to rule and govern these blacks, be cause the latter are sunk in the depths of ignurance,and are hardly better than bar barians. Experience is the beat of guides. The guardian who would claim tuatthft families of children reared under his " kindness" were so ignorant and depraved that it was difficult to distinguish them from barbarians would hardly be allowed to usurp their political rights on that ground. What the blacks are, they have been made by their white neighbors, and the greater their depravity and Ignorance the greater the reason for removing them from the influences and control which have reduced them to their present de plorable condition. CMtnyo Tribune, 0th. Grant and Rawlings. A oonRKKroNPF.NT of the Hartford I'm! at Washington, reports an Interview with General Kawlings, chief of Grant's staff. The following is tho principal part of tho conversation : "I was born a few miles from Galena," said General Kawlings, "and moved In there when I was in my twent'es. Soon after entering the bar, I got by some luck or good word, tho law business for the leather and hardware store of Jesse Grant It was a large, fine store, built deep, with only a place below for sizing the skins, which were tanned at Covington, Ken tucky. I don't know how General Grant's father got into business at Galena, but there was a Mrs. Lee living there, half sister to General Grant's mother, and her house was next door to mine. " Her favorite topic of conversation was l. ant. urant, or I lysses, as she generally called him, who was represented to mo as the flower of the flock. He had been in the army, at West Point, in Mexico, and Mrs. Lee represented that ho had made a Particularly handsome figure on horse ack. I had quite a curiosity at least to see this member of the family ; for, up our way, we had a great idea of a Mexican-war soldier, tho extent of our heroes being pri vate soldiers of that war. I was sixteen when it broke out, and was almost crazy to get permission to enlist" "Weill General, did Grant come at ast?" " Yes; I saw him under theso favorable anticipations a few davs after he came. I had previously seen all his brothers, and not one of them but was a sagacious, business man. I looked cautiously at Grant, and under his simplicity saw the marks of power given him by nature and command, ne was not a tanner at Galena, but a clerk, sat on tho store counter and related incidents of Mexico, a country that seemed to have stirred him with enthu siasm by its beauty and resources, ond ho holds tho same regard for it still. I got to know General Grant slowly and respect fully, and it was not till after the begin ning of the war that I fouud out that he had any specific liking for me." " Well, General, I see you are coughing. I will ask the rest another time 1" " I am talking too much, but I'll finish. The war matter grew before Grant had become half acquainted in Galena, Ho was not an arguer on politics, but lie had been an old line Wkig and cast a vote in 1850 for Buchanan. I was a Douglas Democrat and took the stump there. Grant U.ld me that he had a great admira tion for Lincoln. He had read as they were made the speeches between Lincoln and Douglas, and suid it was a nice ques tion to say who got the best of the argu ment We counted on him as a Douglas Democrat, though all his brothers were Republicans. Some time during the cam paign John E. Smith, a soldivr of the Mexican war, burst upon tho town with a magnificent display of Wide-Awakes, whom he had drilled secretly. This mor tified our side a good deal and we resolv ed to get up a similar organization. We thought we would elect Captain Grant tho marshal of it, or in his stead, should he decline, John Maltby, afterward Brig adier General " I was one of the committee to call on Grant He said he was beginning busi ness, and should have to decline entering into politics. We therefore chose Maltby. Grant went on with his store, selling har ness, saddlery and hardware, and got into the firm at last. Lincoln was elected. Grant said from that time that the South would fight I could not bring my mind to contemplate this, but the Captain seem ed to be positive, and from that day began to speak oftener of his military education, his debt therefor to tho country, and to talk with me upbn the capacities of the North to raise troops. About that time he wrote a letter, so expressing himself, to a man in Missouri and this letter Albert D. Richardson, unknown to Grant, found out and inserted in his book. When Sum ter was attacked we all looked to Grant, Smith and Maltby. The former went to work at once, accepted the presidency of recruiting meetings, and wn three, with Rowley, afterward on the staff, went to Galena and Hanover and raised that com pany for three months' service. Sixty-two men out of eighty odd afterward enlisted for the war. " In this season I saw now energies in Grant A larger career had opened be fore him. He dropped a stoop-shouKlcred way he had of walking, and set his hat forward on his forehead in a less careless fashion. And yet he never seemed to have an ambition above a regimental rank, and all his talk with me was upon the best place in a regiment that I should try for. He became a carpet bagger then, and I saw him as he left Galena with his traps in band. " ' Kawlings,' he cried, 'If I see any thing that will suit you I'll send you word I' " Do, Captain " I took my sick wife eastward soon af terward, and saw in tho New York Tri bune that Grant had been made a Brigadier General, and also found a letter forwarded from him, saying: 'Kawlings, I am en titled to a Captain and A. A. G. ; I guesss you bad better come on and take it." I therefore withdrew from a regiment that I was raising, and, doubtful of my capacity to be independently useful, so inexperi enced, I joined Grant at Cairo. " He had an office in the great bank there, and I was amazed at the quiet, prompt way in which he handled hla mul titudes of letters, requisitions and papers, sitting behind the cashier's window-hole, with a waste basket under him, and or derlies to dispatch business as he did it. "Beyond my friendship for Grant, I felt that I was going to be attached to a man equal to the enlarging situation. And so I have remained with him ever since I" I I Are they Forgeries! TrtE New York World says: "The Radical newspapers have forged speeches, and put them in the mouths of Southern Democrats by whom they were never ut tered." Is it"a forgery that Frank P. Blair, the Democratic candidate for Vice President, wrote to Colonel James O. Brodhead on the 30th of June : " There la but one way to reHtore the Govern ment and the Constitution, aud that la for tho President elect to declare these acta of rer.on atructiou noil and void, compel the army to undo Ita neurpaiioua at the Houtb, disperse the carpet bag titato government, allow the white people to reorganize their own goverunieuU aud elect beua tora aud Kepreaeuutiveaf Is it a forgery that Wade Hampton said at a Democratic ratification meeting in NewYora: "And I want yon all to register an oath that when they ' the white people utte people oi ine ouio' w.in. oat regard to'heescepUonsof the recoastrociioo acta do tot, that these vote shall b eooated, and If than la a majority of white vote that you will place beymour ana Blair in in. v uiw House la spit of all Ui bayonet that ahall be brought against them " I it a forgery that Wade Hampton said at hi reception in Charleston, that be proposed In the Committee on the Plat form in the Democratic Convention to in sert the words : " And we declare that the reconstruction acU are revolutionary, un constitutional, and void?" and that he added : " When 1 proposed that, every single member of the Committee and the warmest men In II were the men of the North came forward and said thry tnwtti ilirt U wf In Iht swi t" is it a forgery that Mr. C. C. Lanplon, delegate to the Democratic Convention, said in a published letter before tho 4th of July, thnt the reconstruction measures are "unconstitutional and, of course, abso lutely void," that this would be the chief plank in tho Democratic platform ; that the Supremo Court probably at its next term, would so decide ; and that he added : " Then all we want la a President whose views are to accord with that decision, and who has the will and I he nerve to do hla duty. It will be his duty to enforce the decree of the C'onrt, If need be, at the point of the bayonet ?" Is it a forgery that John Forsyth said, in the Mobile liiyinter, speaking of recon struction : " And here we may as well say that the people of the HiMith d not Intend to submit to that permanent rule, result as the Presidential election may?" Is It a forgery that Raphael Semmcs said at Mobile : " I have come to declare that I have Riven In mv allegiance, heart amlsonl, to the old flag, ir-orM! we can restore the old flag again to be tho repre sentative oi the principles of the Constitution, w hich we will be able to effect by the election of Heymour and Blair T" Is it a forgery that the Charleston Mer cury said : " Peace waa made by General Sherman In the soring of ld, in his terms of capitulation with, (ieneral Johtoton. That waa peace, and nothing vise ever wl II be peace 1" Is it a forgery that Albert Pike said : " Tho South la our land ; the North la a foreign and hostile realm.... if the old I'nlon cannot no restored, we will hope to see the South Independ ent before wo die J" Is it a forgery that General Battle, of the late rebel nrniy, said at the Democratic meeting iu Mobile : "The Democratic party Indorses principle for which you battled?" Is it a forgery that the Richmond En quirer says : "The next Democratic Hons of Representa tives, Incase of a contest, will recognise, and only recognlr.e, such members as come there nnder le gal constitutions, and that have been adopted by the free consent of the white people of the State! ' Is it a forgery that tho Richmond Whig, speaking of the Blair letter, said : "Ho declared without any hesitancy, and In terms too clear and decided to bo misunderstood, that, were he President, the whole Executive power should bo employed to blot out every ves tige of Uadical reconstruction r" Is It a forgery that Wado Hampton said : " Try to convince the negro that wo are hla real friends; but If he will uot be convinced, and la still Jul nod to his Idols, convince him at least that lie must look to those idols, whom he serves as his gods, to feed and clothe him. Agree among yourselvea and act firmly on thla belief, that you will not etnuloy any one who voles the Radical ticket?" Is It a forgery that Albert Pike, as Pres ident of a Democratic club, officially said of Democratic cards of recommendation for colored men : " We hope that hereafter, when any Democrat desires to employ a colored man In any capacity, he will ask to see hlscard, and If none la produced will refuse to employ him ? " Is it a forgery that tho Chattanooga Union said : " Suffer any and all tnnnt of tyranny nntll after November, and then well, we would rather be a uiinble squirrel than a while Radical ? " Is it a forgery that tho New York World said of such speeches of Wado Hampton as we have quoted : " We have found thorn to be the candid and por suasivo utterances of au honest and courageous man " And If theso are all forgeries, why is it that the Charleston Mercury said : " Private advice from our most strenuous friends at the North request that we abonld pro test agalust the Imprudent expressions that have escaped eomo Southern speakora alnce tho ad journment of tho National Democratic Conven tion It is questionable whether at this time any thing is to be gainod by too much reference to thinga that jar on people's nerves. What we wans just now is to win 1 " If these are not forgeries they show dis tinctly that the policy of tho Democratic party, should it succeed at the polls, will be the forcible overthrow of the govern ments of the Southern States. That will necessarily produce civil war. Harper's " a Encounter with a Tiger. The following exciting description of an encounter with a black tiger is from an article upon Lako Nicaragua, in an En glish magazine : une niirnt, alter i naa ncen six monius on the Island, I was seated by the fire, waiting lor tuo plantains that were Dolling in a pot. Joachin was not in the hut, ana was expecting him homo to supper. Suddenly l heard ins snout ouisiae, ana the next instant ho dashed into the hut, banged tho door to, and threw the heavy bar across it. Just as ho fixed it, and pant ing, leaned his shoulder against the stout wood as an additional support, a shock, so heavy that the whole hut quivered, made the door bend. Another followed then all was still. I sprung up at the first sight of Joachin, but the scene passed so quickly that no word had been spoken as yet But when, alter tho second blow on the door, the at tempt seemed to be abandoned on that side, took the native by the shoulder and shook him, for he seemed wild with fear. " Hullo, man!" I said, "what is this?" His appearance was ghostly. The old Guatemala jacket he wore, his leather breeches, even his boots of alligator hide. were ripped and cut by the thorns of the acacias, ins iace aireameu wim uioou from many deep scratches, and perspira tion drenched his lone hair. "A black tiger," ho whispered ; " it has chased me acroos tne savannan, lor my horse was tired out It is after me. Oh, listen I" Then, in the silence, while we held our breath, and Joachin strained my hand backwards and forwards, I heard the hard snoring of a tiger Just outside the door. No doubt of it I The beast had singkd Joachin out, and let the horse go free. While we listened, the direction of the sound moved about, now up and now down, accompanied by raps against the door, as if the animal was resting his paws against it as he reared himself on his hind legs. At length we heard the sound of scratch ing, and I drew my machete. In a few seconds a black paw, armed with terrible crooked claws, was seen working on our side of the door. I gave a downright cut which nearly severed it and the animal, roaring savagely, threw himself against the wood, again and again, in rage. Then another pause followed. Very soon a noise upon the roof showed, as we had expected, that the enemy waa direct ing bis attack in that direction, and I got my old gun ready. As soon as I saw the animal's fur I fired, and wounded him, no doubt, fur be roiled from the roof, and we heard him full heavily Again and again he returned to the attempt, aud every time I caught a glimpse of his back and shining skin I tired. His roaring was terrible to hear, and Joachin, who never had courage to spare, sat on tne floor in a corner, striving to close his ears to the sound. . - All night the Btruggle lasted at Intervals, and every crack of the hut was tried by this untiring foe. He dashed upon the door, he bounded upon the roof, scratching the thatch away, but ever disturbed by my tire; he tried the walls and door aga'n and again. It was an awful night, that's the liict ; and I, for my part, did not recover from the nervous strain for months. With the dawn the tiger's fforts became fainter, and at length ceased. When the sun rose I took my gun and sallied out to meet the creature in lair fight I followed his trail for a mils or more, easily guided by the clout of blood which stained the gram aud rock. He was wnundnd t' the death I plainly saw. And at last I lound him dead beside the body of Joachin's horse, which he mnst have destroyed in the very but effort 'of hl rage, dying in the act, a a " VARIOUS ITEMS. Ot.it Bfi.i. has Invented a new piano. An early spring lumping out of bed at five o'clock in the morning. Tiik grasshoppers have put apples up to 25 cent apiece In Utah. Tiik Horseshoe Falls at Niagara have receded six feet in tho last year. A wonvmknt to tho late Mr. Elliott is talked about by his artist friends. Font thousand Mormon immigrants have passed through Canada this year. St. Pktehbiu'iki has five daily papers four published In Russian and one in French. New Jkrsrt temperance men propose to circulate 80,000 copies of Parton's ine article. TimiTT vn.i.ioNS of the annual revenue of England la derived from the sale i.l opium to the East Indiana, At a recent book sale In London, six volumes printed by William Caxton brought the enormous prico of $.1,4801 It Is said that the Editor's Drawer in tTitrfxr' Miigarint is made up by women. So are a good many editor's drawers. A wuiTRit in the Paris Figaro says all women are devil. They are the ucvils most men like to be possessed of. A Gkkman statistician has found that Universally the deaths are most numerous in the first four months of the year. A Nkw YonKF.n advertises to give les sons iu tho "Grecian bend." Any one can get it cheaply by eating green apples. In London there is a man who lives by begging catalogues and selling them for waste paper at ihreo half pence per pound. Rkbtoiiino lost children is a big business in Brooklyn. Last mouth VM anxious and aimless babes wero restored to their parents. Kahi. D a mm, a writer in a New York German paper, says that arscnicum, given homcopathically, will cure the cattle plague. A nuirtAi. pair in Savannah were chlo roformed by burglars, and robbed on their wedding night, recently, and tho bride died. A winowRn in Hardwick, Vt, forty five years old, and who has children mar ried, was lately wedded to a girl twelve years old. A ci.euovman, after marrying a couple, made a prayer over them, concluding: Forgive them, Lord, they know not what they do." Ouveu Dveii, who brought "tho wick edest man in New York" to public view, the answerer of correspondents in tho Now York JMgtr. A i.adv In East Brldgowater, Mass., was recently severely burned In tho face by tho explosion of a sealed can of tomatoes left on the stovo. " Wht don't you ask mo how I am ?" smilingly said a lady visitor to a four-year-old girl. "I don't want to know, was littlo innocent's reply. A VAi.rAin.n jewel, stolen from the Royal Treasury at Lisbon two years' ago, was recently recovered at Athens. It wits diamond worth $1.10,000. A.iokkh in New York has posted up in his place of business : " No money lent In sums less than a million dollars under any circumstances." A man In London kept tho body of his dead daughter In the house seveutoen days, until he could get up a ralllo to pay tho funeral expenses. Tire letter carriers for tho suburbs of Paris are to be supplied with velocipedes, wnich will enable them to nnisn tneir dis tribution four hours earlier daily. TnE grain crop in California this year will be immense. At least L0,000,000 bushels of wheat have been harvested. Tho grape crop is also above the average Professor Watson, of the Detroit Ob servatory, announces tho discovery of another minor planet, minerio unanown. shines like a star of the tenth magni tude. Howk Wiiitb, of Norton, Mass., eighty six, and wife, seventy-soven years ol ago, were delighted a few days ago by a sur prise visit from forty-six children and grandchildren, who had not all met togeth er for forty years. A London letter-carrier, with children and a sick wife to support on nine shillings week, stole twelve postage stamps from letter, and has been sent to prison for five years. Albany has the credit of having fur nished New York with its " wickedest man." John Allen was a graduate of Al bany Academy. His name of Allen is said to be an assumed one. Tna mail agents on the Union Pacific Railroad have been armed with Spencer carbines, with which to defend tht msolves against any attacks the Indians may make on mail trains. A. L. Burden, of Staffords Springs, Conn., poisoned the files in his house re cently, and swept them out of doors. where they were eaten by a brood of chickens, every one ol whom died. The editor of the Vermont Journtd, pub lished at Windsor, in that State, has in his garden a tomato nearly ripe, measuring in circumference one way seventeen lncucs, the other, twenty and a hall inches. Spi rof.on says : "The world maintains its players and fiddlers far better than the Christian churcn remunerates lis minis ters ; and a dancer or an actor will receive more than the most learned and edifying divine." Smoking by ladles iu Boston is on the Increase. An extensive cigar dealer in that city says he sells an average of three hundred per day for ladies' use, and thinks a thousand per day at least aro puffed by the fair ones. Josh Bim.inos says : " Most people de cline to learn only by their own experi ence, and I guess they are more than half right, tor l don I s pose a man could get a correct idea of molasses candy merely by letting another feller taste it lor him." Tub distress of the people in the Red River settlements of British America, north of Minnesota, is represented as ex treme. The crops have been a complete failure, and the people are in danger of general starvation. ARCRBisnop Kenrick, of St. Loul has Instructed the Catholic clergy in his dio cese to denounce " Planchctte," aud warn Catholics that if they do not desist from its use, ater reasonable admonition, they will be excommunicated from the church. " Is tour father at home ?" inquired the man of the little girl who admitted him. Is your name Bill V" " Some people call me so," he replied. "Then he is not at home, for I heard him tell John to say if any bill came to say he is not at borne. A man in Hudson City disputed the un dertaker's bill for the burial of his son. Thereupon the undertaker opened the grave and broke off a piece of the coffin to substantiate its fine quality, and is now to be prosecuted as a resurrectioulst "Ma, if I should die and go to heaven should I wear my moire amniue dress?" No, my love ; we can scarcely suppose we shall wear the attire of thla world in the next" " Then tell me, ma, how tho angels would know I belonged to the best society ?" The Rev. Morrill Allen, of Pembroke. Mass., is the oldest living graduate of Drown university, lie belongs to the clans of 17K8, and is U3 years old. He kept preaching until he reached bis UOth year, having been pastor of Pembroke yhtWh for forty year; " A PARTY of surveyors has latelv diannw. errd extensive ruins on the banks of the Little Colorado river, in Arizona, which extend along tho banks of the river for mile. The walls of tho building are in some rases s!s or eight feet high, and old canals can be plainly seen. A VOl'No lady advertised for a drwialnir mald. One applied, and In response to the inquiry If she was quirk, sho replied: Oh, so quick that I will engage to dress you every day in half an hour." " In half an hour, reiterstod tho young lady; "and wiiat nau i uo mo rest ol the day ?" IN Hyo uracil, recently, a man of pleas ant disposition built a ftro under a balky horse to Invito him to motion. Tho horse put it out by lying down in it and the amlablo gentleman filled his mouth with gravel, stabbed him several times, sawed him with a rope, and added other persua sions. On a recent Sunday, as aladv wn W. Ing Trinity Church, Bridgeport, Conn., her hoop skirt suddenly gave way, and dropped into tho aislo. Sho stepped out of it, and passed on as If nothing had happened, and called the next day to re claim tho article, which was hauded over by tho ptdite sexton. Nkvkii ohac vour hat when It blow off in a gale of wind ; Just stand still and you win presently see hair a dozen tier- sons In pursuit ot it. When ono has cap tured it, walk 1. Is irely toward him, re ceive It with grateful acknowledgment and place it on your head. Ho will inva riably act as if you had done him a favor. Try It Tim operation of tracheotomy, substi tuting a silver tube for a portion of tho trachea, which is sometimes performed to relievo children sntlcring with the croup, has Just been performed on an old race horse' at Paris, with complete succefs. The horse, which was about worthless before tho operation, has lately won a race, and carried off ono of the llrst prizes. A novel failure has come to light in New York. A German doing a large business in woolens never kept any books, and notified his creditors he had failed, offering 75 cents on tho dollar. One of tho creditors ottered to take the business ond pay tho other creditors In full, which oiler was accepted, and the buyer It is said, will ruiko $73,000 or $100,000 by tho operation. A Sauatooa correspondent, writing of tho fashion there, says, among other things, that " some women dress to please each other ; somo to please men, or rather ono man, for as a general thing they despise men's opinions on millinery. But the most dressy women don t dress to please anybody ; they dress to worry other women." A mechanician of Springfield, Mass, has produced a velocipede which he claims to bo far superior to tho French. In ordinary bauds it will average twelve miles an hour, and on a smooth way like Boston Common can bo propelled at the rate of twenty miles an hour. It can be manufactured at a much less price than the French velocipedes. Staiii carpets will wear longer by plac ing a thickness of old carpet over the edgo of each stuir. When a new carpet is laid down, either In rooms or upon stairs, beat tho old one, and lay that down flrBt, then put the new one over It. It Is a good plan to buy moro carpet than is needed to cover tho stairs, and move it several times every season, so that tho whole will wear evenly ; If stair carpets cannot bu changed in tlrls way, they will not last long. A ci.i u called the Lazy Society has been formed in East Bridgeport It al ready numbers several members. Two members have been discharged, one for striking a mosquito which had lighted on lila fan,, nnntlinr fnr minlnit tin r.ul..lrlir and opening his mouth too wide. A third member was censured for running down Old Mill Hill, but was let off on the plea that he was too lazy to hold back ! The society is in perpetual session. A Ki.Eint atko naval officer tolls the following anecdote : On one of his cruises the sailors saw a comet, and were some what surprised and alarmed at its appear ance. The hands met and appointed a committee to wait on the commander and ask his opinion of it They approached him and said, " We want you to enquire about that thing up there." "Now, be fore I answer you, first let me know what you think it is." " Well, your honor, we have talked it over, and think it is a star Bprung a leak." A ci'itiors "tell tale" apparatus is In use at a factory in Mulhouso, France. There are four night watchmen on theso premises, and they have to make ten visits to 03 stations, in all IKiO visits. On com mencing his rounds a card is delivered to each watchman, which he carries about with him. At every station he has to visit is a frame of the size of tho card, at which, at a given time, a stamp presents itself and impresses a stamp on the card. The marks are so arranged that when the whole are printed they iurm ono complete design. Any delay or omission on the part of the watchman leaves a blank space on tho card which tells tho hour the man failed in his duty. When going off duty the men push their cards iuto a kind of letter box, and as this is done the exact time at which they are delivered is print ed. All this contrivance is completely be yond the men's control and there is no possibility or tampering with the mechan ism. No description of the apparatus would be intelligible without the drawings which accompany it Keep it Before the People. That tho Republican party has reduced tli national debt over Jive hundred million of dollar since the close of the war ac count That the Republican party has lightened the burden of taxation more tutn tuo hun dred million of dollar since the close of the war. That the Republican party has reduced the rate of taxation about one-half what it was during the war. That the Republican party saved the Union from the results of Democratic treason. That the Republican party is the only party pledged to the support of all rights for all the poor as well as the rich, the ignorant as well as the learned. That the Democratic party, through open and covert rebellion, has cost this country over three thoutand million of dol lar and th annuid interest thereon. That JJetnocratio rebel took th lix of three Hundred inouiana of ine oraveil pa triot the world has ever known. That Democratic rebels crippled for lift three hundred thoutand a pur patriot as te world has ever known. That the Democratic rebels gave to the North a million weeping widotctandnuurn ing orj)hitni, our friends, our neighbors and relatives. That the Republican party will restore peace and prosperity to the country. That the Democratic party is pledged to revolution and repudiation, and that this policy means more debt, more blood, and overwhelming ruin. Albany Journal. m a m tSu To Grant for President :H So. boy I anal bumper, While we all In choi-oa chant " For next President w nomiiuiUft Oer own Ulyseea Grant 1" And If asked what 8iai he hall frem, Thla our sol reply snail be : " From near Appomattox Court Hcuae, With Ita faiuoua appl tree I" For 'twas there to our I1 lyase That Us gav up th fight. Now boy To Uraut for 1 resident, . A4diUu4d,,',u4lurlgutl" Taxation. Mr. SKYvntm saya In als letter of ac ceptance l "The hours of toil of onr labor ers are lengthened by the cost of Hying made by the direct and indirect exactlona of Government Our people are narawwi by tho heavy and frequent demands or the Ui gatherer." Mr. Pendleton asks at Ban- . gor t " Why is it that your t consunje such an enormous amount of yonr yearly supply ?" The lesser orators of the party repeat the assertion and the question. " We are taxed," they say, " beyond pre cedent If we did but know it, we are the most oppressed and ta-Hddcn people in the world." And haying exhausted epithets in describing taxation, haying made the most astounding misrepresents atlons of the expenses of the Government, and carefully retrained from proposing any financial policy except that of Jeremy Diddler. they propose a riaaeea for the national sullerlog in the election of Sey mour and Blair. Now tho national debt Is undoubtedly large, and the burden upon the tax-payera is heavy. Yet In broportlon to the na tional resources, it is much smaller than the present debt of France, and i not a third of that of England In 1816. But In considering a debt and relief from it sen sible men lwk first at its origin, in order to determine whether thooe who adminis ter tho Government be Justly charged with a responsibility for tho debt; and, second' ly, at the character of those who denounce it as a means of bringing tb'-ejselvea into power, and at the general policy that tbey advocate. Pursuing this course, we find that our debt of $3,500,000,000 is the price of our continued national existence, which Is tho guarantee of our individual welfare. The debt is the cost of defending the Government against the bloody and dca peato and prolonged assault of those who now aspire to control it To subdue Mr. Wado Hampton and his legion, for instance, probably cost the Government more than a million of dollars. In the Democratic Convention, which protested so patheti cally against the enormity of taxation, there were scores ot ex-rebel officers, both civil and military, who wrero Individually riiargeanie with several millions oi ine debt To suppress their insurrection the debt was Incurred. Twenty-five hundred millions of dollars is the price of the Union that we have maintained, of tho cancer of slavery that we have cut out of the com manding position and vast influence among nations that we have won, of the funda mental principles of a freo government that we have vindicated and are vindicat ing. This is the origin of the debt and it can not be firgottcn. Is the Republican party justly respon sible fir It? The rebellion was plotted under a Democratic President Its chleis were Democratic Cabinet officers, Demo cratic Senat ors. Democratic Governors and Judges. It whs sustained In arms by Democrats ; Democrats aid their utmost to paralyze the Government in the contest. The Democratic Convention declared the efforts of the Government futile, and de manded surrender to tho rebellion. And now that at this vast cost the rebellion,' waged by the arms and prolonged by the sympathy solely of adherents and leadera of tho Democratic party, has been sub dued, those leaders step forward, denounce tho debt which they compelled the country to incur, and demand the control of the Government which they culd not over throw. AVhat. then, aro the promises under . which the demand is made? Are they such as reasonably to justify the expecta tion of a return of that public confidence without which prosperity and reliet lrom taxation will bo indefinitely postponed? The policy announced by the Democratic party by which to pacify the country and cement tho Union Is revolution and repu diation. It is distinctly declared by the candidates and the lenders that tho present organizations of the Southern States are void ; and tho most unqualified assertion that they ought to bo at once forcibly overthrown by tho President secured for tho candidate who mado it an enthusiastic nomination. This policy, which tho Cramers of tho platform ardently agreed to carry out to the end, can bo curried out only by involving tho States concerned in anarchy. Congress and the decision of tho Supreme Court will sustain one of tho governments; the Democratic, President will support tho other. In the nature of things compromise will bo impossible. The difference will bo referred to force. Is another civil war tho way to relieve tax ation? Tho other point of tho proposed Demo cratic policy is repudiation. Tho public demoralization that would follow is in calculable. It would be poison at the very sources of the national life. It would properly make this country a despised outcast among nations. We should be a society of swindlers, and tho whole glory of our victory over the rebellion would be fatally tarnished by our voluntary dis honor. The rebol chiefs would have tho exultation of beholding tho disgrace of tho people whom they could not defeat To them tho satisfaction would be the same. They aro indifferent whether they humili ate us by arms or by art But the moral character of every public question is its really essential part But the industrial ruin, like the public demoralization, conse quent upon repudiation is inconceivable. Already the actual loss to the country from , the mere suspicion cf a possible intention to repudiate may be estimated at millions of dollars. Such a suspicion is a shock to the public credit which is felt through the whole system, and every dollar which is thus lost is taken from the resources with which the pressure of the debt is to be re lieved. In public as in privato affairs, honesty is the best policy. The man who to relieve present necessity becomes a thief must not hope to be rerrcd among honorable men. But a man whom honor able men despiso can hardly make an honest living. Is national dishonesty tho ' way permanently to relieve taxation ? The whole matter comes then to this that the party whose rebellion against the Government caused the debt, now, as a means of obtaining control of the Govern ment, denounce the taxation necessary to pay it According to the Democratic ora cles the Republican party is three times guilty : firat, of not submitting to rebellion ; second, of suppressing it by arms ; third, of wishing honestly to foot the bill ol ex penses. " neavy and frequent demands of the tax-gatherer 1" " Enomous amount " of taxation I shout Messrs. Seymour, Pen dleton, Vallandigham, Wade Hampton, and their friends. Mr. Hampton, ir you , had not taken up arms against a Govern-' ment that never injured you ; Mr. Seymour and Mr. Pendleton, if you had never patted Mr. Hampton upon the back, the taxes would neither have been frequent nor enor mous, and your names would not be those of willing witnesses of their country's de struction. Harper' Wtekly. m A story has been circulated through tho Copperhead press to the effjet that Robert T. Lincoln, Esq., of Chicago, son of the martyred President, waa " heartily for Seymour and Blair." The following letter from Mr. Lincoln, writteu to a friend, will put the story at rest : Chicaoo, Aug. 17, 1868. " Dbab Sib : Your letter of the 13th Inst, inclosing a slip from a newspaper in which it is stated that I am heartily for . Seymour,' etc, and requesting word from me on the subject, is received. " You tell mo that the report has been somewhat extensively circulated in the Eaat. I had heard such a ruraor two day ago, but gave it no attention, thirklpg it deserved none; but, in reply to your let ter, I have to say that there is no truth whatever in the paragraph. Although not now taking an active part in the po litical campaign, I feel sure thui there is no one who more earnestly desirea the suc cess of Gen. Grant and the Republican party than myself. " You may make such use of thl note as you may deem proper. " I am, sir, very truly yours, "ROBERT T. LINCOLN." The National Mercury 3, tea a horri ble account ol the slave trade curved on by the Boers of the Transvaal Republic who make expeditions against the native' tribes, kill the adulu aud carry off the children into slavery. The. Rev. Mr. Lui dorf stated in a public meeting recently that on one occasion a " nunibe.- oi child ren, too young to be moved, were oovtr td Uh long grass and burn, alive,"