Perrysburg journal., April 23, 1869, Image 1

About Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965

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Poetry.
Poetry. "THEY SAY."
Poetry. "THEY SAY." BY M. A .F.
Who !-' Thr.V I hvir-so msch (boat? J
rflrtlllUkosUla r.,.,,r,
I in "l nwiertmna a ho at They Kay,"
, t.'uM, fail; kn, (ml what ha b, 1 yray.
"rThay Say " MM Mr. Waat'a-nfa-natne frill drink ;
. Hot that's his basinaaa, nof'Thuy t4ay'a,"I,lhluk,
! AnA taut a tlv hnnnfl hit mAnna, and so
Tho Day ' thinks ewrybodj Aught to know,
. And trs 1 Mrs. SacH-a-OM, sha rM 1 V'
to 1 th plenlc, aartina, ball and atarara.' 'V
H spmds bsr tlma pu tha strt di dif
. ben iuij call! bar homa, ao saa " Toay bj."
' A1 than V-fora vt twt-a rtiants to rant, '
'Th"y 8r" talkod of too, and nn.no
Urn told yoar nalirabors what yon aa', antt drink
And, how jros, drasa, and all 70a Jo, or think
How mm tlntaa i amaft j la sr.rnh, yaar a oAra." 1
. Jfow ofton. and toat waara Mri ..k A.. i
InJ wH.t - K ,. - ..ll I. -. . 'I
-Ll
Now, If I hara a thin j to sa . to tos. , '' no
I'll tell yon so mjrsair, an ion i.y da' ' . '
Tka tuna by m ; It ta a ,.,, ws, '.::
To tell 11a and charge ij, to " 7VvSiy." ; ,
Poetry. "THEY SAY." BY M. A .F. ON THE SHORE.
BY M. A .P.
V walkad together 6n the ahora.
One annlnir. ami unci It
, Wa kaard old ocean'a enlla roar, J :
u Dinowa rolling B'ga, . .
.. W '
, T aim had and wkara hla ran
. -Hi, sr.
lit:'' "ii
, Jp.t Khars tha twilight mat lha day,'f 'loi)
Tba new mwn hacg tier bow. ,1 ., j f
'.Tbe rhlt w1n0! htp aallnd
id l)1p aallnd bratelj bjr,
oa blew freM A -7
( wra In tha Iky,
, mp oon oreo!
1 a tltiunn mora
A thousand on tha aea.
Yt talked to ma of life and lovo, -
Yanr Tntra wananft and low;
. , ; Tha atarry eoa that ahnne a bote,
, Lookod down alih genUe glow.,
And othera wandered bt the ..
Ml?
Ti.t
And heard itn ea lion moan; '
I only hoard It flnir to me 1
Ah, happy dream I too brlirnt to last '
1 T'i -Too eoon Um mannrta flw-,j ,n iAa'I
" On roey wlnis they itlided past,
.Thawhjla IJalkodT wU j.l
Bat now I wa1k4b shore alone,
1 hear the.ninanlneni i.
Ithu nomora a loyoaona, ,.,, .
' No nopeiai Toice for tno. , ' , "
-. The tar above are itlll aa rroe 1'
' ' The creeeent moon aa brtxhtt
Tha aaabraaaaaoik, aa wkaacwHh TV,
r. I wicked. Uia ahoxs UtM n,ht. ;,
J fiat now thot'r 'charms kliuti hare flown,
I only hear the roar
"Of ocoan'a toIco ( aloo-'e( along,' '!;;,
' '' Alone, I walk tha a)-, ore.
BY M. A .P. Selected Miscellany.
THE GORILLA'S LOVE STORY.
article ob the origin of the human
snowies had been months in preparation.
S'.Qch of the fame which I hare vinoe
secured by its publication in that widely
circulated - magazine, - the lnteroetanie
SMonMy, is due to the fact that I spent
yeeks in deep inTcetlgationa la ethnolog
ical sciences, comparing results, and espo
;cially examining the points of resemblance
whlclrexist in the brute creation and the
nobler race of man. Tc say that I utterly
overthrew the Darwinian 1 theory, and
quite demolished the tribe of pretenders
who hare since attempted to imitate that
great apostle of error, may not be strictly
in accordance with modesty, but hosts of
candid friends will, admit that it is strictly
true. I know very well that, though my
untiring labors in the cause of science are
not yet thoroughly appreciated, an admir
ing posterity will dwell with delight on
the name of Samuel Bimoox as the bene
factor of his race, who showed where that
race had its birth, and from what primi
tive element it sprang. For further par
ticulars see the ' JrUeroctanic Monthly for
June, 18-. . :'
My favorite haunt during the progress
of my article was Coriander's menagerie
having resolved that this should be the
master-piece of my life, I spared neither
labor nor expense upon it, and actually
procured a season ticket to the menagerie
and passed many pleasant hours in watch
ing the wild animals, studying their habits
and drawing many, valuable, conclusions
Irom theirpoints-of resemblance and-dtf-forence.
Consequently, though the apes
and monkeys had furnished me with an
inexhaustible fund of amusement and in-.
tcrest, l was delighted beyond measure
when it was . announced that Coriander
had secured alive gorilla for hie collection
of wild beasts; An ' agent had been dis
patched to Africa and had sent-home,
with great secrecy, :a real live specimen oi
this dreadful beast ; and so well had all the
negotiations been kept that nobody knew
of what was being done until the monster
was fairly caged and on exibition at Cori
ander's menagerie. 1 1, entered with Best
upon a study of the creature's habit and
peculiarities; and while the Idle curiosity
of mere wonder -mongers kept a vast crowd
about the cage wherein the furious beast
was confined, I calmly surveyed it from a
safe distance and made my scientific obser
vations for tbe benefit of mankind. 1 And
vrhen vulgar wonder at the strange beast
3iad somewhat subsided, and I could get
nearer the cage and watch the gorilla, I
was more and ' more impressed with the
human traits which I discovered In the
extraordinary animal. His manner of re
clining was, though impish,, half human t
and his grotecque gait, as he sprang from
side to side of his narrow prison, was sug
gestive of his .suppositious cougener-v-inan
5 even his terrible howl, which rent
the air of the museum constantly, had a
human shade of sound. : .
One rainy day, when the great hall of
the museum was unusually vacant of visi
tors, I almost leaned against the cage in
my eager watch of the movements of the
gorilla. I fancied him roaming bis native
African Jungles, the terror of every living
thing, or rearing, with a strange and gre-i
tesque soiitnte, nis young family. 1 I won
dered how much akin to human love and
hate were the passion that aged beneath
that hairy breast, and how much of real
feeling was in the loud and anguished
howl that occasionally burst from those
fang-like jaws. ; Thus speculating, I drew
incautiously, nar the Jiirs of thtv cage
where the monster restlessly paced up
and(kwn, and was inexpressibly startled '
at feeling his hot breath on my cheek
while from his huge hairy lips came the
sound" Bam P I actually jumped with
astonishment, whereupon the creature be
seechingly said "Hush, hush, for Heav
en's sake do not leave me I" Mustering
courage enough to ask him what all this
meant the gorilla answered : " I am your
old friend, Jack Gale ; don't leave me." r ,
80 Coriander s famous gorilla was none
other than my old crony. Jack Gale. , ,
And this is how Jack happened to be a
gorilla : Coriander's keepers rwere . too
watchol to permit urii conversation, but
taking from the rorilla for such he still
was to me tbe address of Jack Gale, No.
1,283 MorusinnUicaulis street, I went home
to revise some of my deductions relative
to-the origin of the human species, found
ed on obMrVatiOBS or the. gorilla in a state
of comparative wildnesa, Jus. cienajreria
close ai40 o'clock in the vealngTand
precisely at half past ten I was at Jack's
lodgings, to which I climbed p four
flights of crooked and very dark stairways.
Tbe room was small and cheerless; ' w
windows were carefully guardqd lf thick
curtains ; three or four swinging bars de
pended from the coUyig furi Aft- rctloe
of Us tnmte ia acrobatic exercises ; across
the foot of the bed lay a well dressed gor
illa's skin, and at a small table, and absor k
ing tha contents of a pot of beer, sat the
w oarer of this discardtai robe. - This was
Jye haunt of the African gonlla. Lie told
"f"ory in a fei
"nrv in a i,w ammi ' - -
. "4n won and-F wt-rn
n you ana- were nsea to talk
with etlj.uher ,jjC0. ta, TalUpoosa and
I ns'aT tkousH Vrt et yea
".life g0J.i,v h . .Aflr
Uwu ?f? mMlJL a opexatoxa.
- waTwell n(.hVefl th ' D-oapoUt offloe.
with Corkadei .lIrt i whe mot
hi. w rieTan waTrbV,1Cr' Wlth
t thl, Qiy and op", tb X
pert oil viun1, but kolaTlu; Wt
: . lis
5V ' ' t l-.A .; ,s ' mmm0,'-- , -in. ii... , 1111 "
VOL. VI.-N0.2.
.lili.All.
' ,11 tmi ii, iur' r'i. M,tmii
PEBRYSBUUG4 AVOOD GO.,
OHIO, FRIDAY; A VUI
23, 18G9; J
iVt I !',! T.1 -
1 . t .. IV "It
: S2.00 ,1 N AD VANCE, ,
9r
sfTBt'tn-rrMV r .Vott, kavenT trrrVf
wortandor, hv4 jour? N! Well, you
fct "t eett the Joveifcst pd,)eet girl in
the world, then. But, as I was ssyipr,.
old Coriander was preparing for a yarl
cuftrpa'gn In this dtv; and allotted a great
deal On a! reaJi, liva gorilla Which had
been' bapturod ta the 'wilds 'of Africa
somewhona ..Oh, curse that forillat I
wish I had been dead before ever ! fceafcf
And LmAc gmnKi:a':u.r.i:i sv
"I loved Clara Coriander. . I snppose
vou have gneaaed that out already. But
it was the old story ; poo? young man,
without fortuae or friends; cruel parents
determined that their only daughter shall
not marry a beggar I young lady iaoon-i
solable and devoted to aforesaid poor
young man, but dreadfully afraid of papa,
whose only child she la Well, Coriander
came on here and I followed, the old man
giving me the Job of writing his posters
and advertisements to keen me from
starving, t suppose." The long expected
Gooroo arrived from ..Zanzibar., hut no
gorilla was there oa hoard for Mr. Cnriant.
der : there was a skin of that celebrated
animal the beast hlmnelf havintr departed
mis lite on the island or bt. Helens, In
Imitation of the example of another much
feared person who once resided In thali
locality. ... .
poUrTtJcr was frantic. The great
card for his menagerie was not to be hla
His long cherished plans were a wreck ;
his money was spent for naught ; he had
no irorilla After all. I rath or like the old
wretch (Coriander I mean). He has an
aosomte passion wttn nis profession,' as
he calls it, and was more in despair be
cause he had no gorilla, than because 4t
was a bad financial operation, which
left him without that far which he had
spent so much money. Be was wretched
in his disappointment, and postponed in
definitely the opening of the menagerie
though my elegant advertisements were
in all the papers, and our flaming posters
covered the walls of the city from one
end to the other. Gloom reigned in the
house of Coriander. . --
" This was my opportunity. I was in
love with Clara and without any perma
nent occupation. Presenting myself be
fore the old man, I said : ' Mr. Corian
der, you want a gorilla &' t ' i i
".Tobe8ure.'aidhetostiIy.J f j
M I will furnish you with one. A 1
The devil you willl'
"'Look here,' said I, stepping back a
few paces. Graspinir the top of a heavy
old wardrobe that stood - in the room, I
swung myself up, clambered along the
top, sprang up and down, over chairs and
tables, raced around the room with huge
strides and jumps, and finally wound up
my performances by rushing at the aston
ished Coriander, and, beating my breast.
cave a terrific howl that fairly made tbe
old man quail as he writhed in his chair
i ii aa nut meg practising, lor noiuing,
evidently. ' Coriander was actually fright
ened. " ' What does this mean f ' he easned.
with some rage mingled with his pertur
bation. " I am the live gorilla from the wilds of
Africa,' said I. ' Give me my skin that
arrived by the Gooroo from Zanzibar, and
will scare tnia. city, out or its .senses,
when the menagerie opens, after a brief
delay on account of the difficulty of pre-
Saring for enormous additions, which a
iscriminating public will be delighted
to see.' -., , k-.
"Old Coriander embraced me, .with
tears in his eyes, declaring, that I was a
real genius and was born to the show
business.
" ' But,' said I. ' though I am noor and
need the money which you will pay me, I
have one pther. condition, and the, to tnat
you shall give me your daughter's hand
if I succeed.
"The old man was rather taken back at
this, and flatly refused at first ; and we
wrangled over tbe matter for two or tbree
days, but, after seeing me, in the skin of
me gorilla, go inrougn many Antics ana
performances, he reluctantly gave in and
agreed that after one year of gorilla life
in his service, I should have the happi
ness of marrying Clara. He only stipu
lated tnat 1 snould not hereafter tell any
body of the cheat and that not even Clara
should know of it now.
" I am aware that my profession is not
high art, as you call it, and on hot days It
is precious uncomfortable; ' But what
won't a fellow do under the pressure of
an exchequer in distress, and enticed by
the promise of the hand of the prettiest
and best girl in tha world l .The pay is
not mucn, but 1 keep soul an body to
gether, which is more than some poor
devils do in this great city. By the way,
Sam, have you got five dollars about
you "
.Now, it tnere was any tiling tnat jack
Gale specially loved, it was tha state of
being a debt. He , was never to happy
as when in debt, ana when by accident,
or the anterfereaoe of friends, he got out
of it, he was tin easy and wretched, appa
rently, until be got in again. Tbe nor
mal condition of the man was debt ; so
when he asked me for a loan, I crfuld not
help laughing and I told him that he had
undoubtedly found one of . the greatest
privations pr his gorilla lite to be tha dif
flculty'of contracting new debts.
"That's a fact," said Jack; "the me
nagerie opens at eight o'clock in the morn-.
ing ; it takes me a good hour to get my
self up for the day, and we don't shut up
until ten o'clock at night j so ye sea my
professional duties are very oooBuSuC, and .
a real, live African gorilla is not supposed I
to navo nrsvraie cretin wim me people
who poke stale sandwiches and peanuts
through his caee-bars by day" 1 i ' , J
I promised Jack that if old Seanecks, of
the Interoceanic Monthly, accepted my ar
ticle on the origin of the human species,
I would divide the proceeds with, him.
Jack and I had shared and shared alike
with our Uttlr gains too oftea ia- years
gone by for me to remember which owed
the other now Besides, I fold him that li
trad am 4 iea bis naaits as a gorilla, and he j
had some claim upon the profits of an ar
ticle in which bis personal peculiarities
figured so largely.
During the next lew, aayt l cttservea
the characteristics of Coriander's African
gorilla with new interest He performed
wonderfully well : it was difficult to real
ise that the hairy, ravening, agile and grotesquely-moving
beast, from which ayvery
visitor shrank back aghast, was only
Jack G-aJe serving out Ills hard servitude
for an anticipated bride, vory much after
tha ancient fashion of Laban's - kinsman.
The cunning rascal had a fashion, of leap
ing at the bars when curious people came
too near, driving them away from : nar
row inspection by bis hideous veils and
angry mouUdngs. But his roars, which
were really artiatio lu their brutal sonor
ousness, served us a rood nnrnoae. As I
was night editor on the Daily niglif.ptr
and kept pretty close from ten until three
o'clock' ia the. noralng. and Jack 'was
caged until the hour at which I went to
wort, u was sol easy Aa Uala anectj , Go
wa exchanged the salutations of tha dav
and a few scrap of new by uaing-ourold
siraals, learned long ago In the telegraph
omuav instaaaoitfaerat-tavtatorthaliuie
instrument so familiar to both of as, Jack,
by a series of Ions; or short howls and
grunta, gave me his, me8ge, to which I
replied by careless baa oi -euyCeana or
band, nobody suspecting that my casual
movements meant anything, tor suppos
ing for an instant that a sudden burst of
African forest yells, which sent a fat lady
nearly into hysterica, and made tsro small
children bowl with apprehensioa, merely
meant, "She with the pink bonnet ii my
Clara.'
And It must be confessed that Clara
CoxUndcr wai an UCoglr ItUftQtiTt
yVunr Wtsourr Bteo.M llglifln" flgflfe,
andwJlh fine of thoe fait, transparent
completions thatBtaWy&.thl&koi'
light shining through an alabaster vase,
Clara Coriander was certainly as lovely a
vlrl as one evef lay eyes upon. Hosldfa,
h was an only daughter, and old Corian
der naa grown rich in the menagerie bust
easa. y Jack was a lucky dog (gorilla, I
shotld day) td gain- her hand if he ever
didj but one could not help thinking, . as
h iotsd her dainty uanne tad 'dolioaM,
somewhat distingue face, that she was
hardly the girl to fancy a fellow who had
personated a gorilla, even for her hand.
I was. afraid. that , Jack had made amis."
take in thus debasing himself or the ab
satd passion of her Intel parent for the
possession of a gorilla. Moreover, by de
barring . himself i her society for the
greater portion of the time (Sundays pnly
excepted), he left the field open for some
more fortunate rival whe might, In the
meantime, carry off the prize.. ,
But Jack IcU snre that he was all right
and by a precious bit of deception he had
led Clara to believe that he was hard at
work, night and day, at jome legitimate
.calling, e-trning money for his future am
bilious designs in life. The poor little
thinor believad in him. hnt Jak- laid -i
w iwt kmrd for him to be obliged to
"see- his beloved flirting, 'right before his
eyes at the menagerie (for the girl had a
taste for natural history, and was there of
ten), with some perfumed dangler who
was in love with her pretty fheef and old
Coriander's money. On these occasions
he hated himself, for his mean disguise,
and found satisfaction in howling at the
gay party in such dreadful fashion as
scat thetn quaking; from his cage; and
then he cursed himself for having driven
away his lovely angel, and was smitten
with sudden remorse as he saw her rose
hued cheek blanch at his terrific cries.
At such times he could with difficulty re
strain himself from shouting: "Don't be
frightened, dear, it's only Jack I" But he
was fortunately preserved from such an
untimely exposure.
Old Seanecks was very mean, and,
though he accepted my article on the Ori
gin of the Human Species, only paid me
the pitiful sum of twenty dollars for that
valuable contribution to knowledge.
Twentyi dollars for tho labov and thought
oi weens i . as ever anything so absurd?
And there Was Jack drmfi.lently expecting
at least twenty-five dollars to purchase a
birthday present for Clara. Jack loved to
make presents, and the deeper he got into
debt the more presents did he bestow on
his friends. Such' another whole-souled
fellow as he was, to be sure.
But I pocketed the disappointment
aiong with the money, and went straight
way to tho menagerie. There was quite
a crowd about Jack's cage, standing at a
respectful distance. In his capacity as the
real African gorilla, Jack had just avenged
himself on a dangerous rival by snatching
off his matchless wig. This gentleman
had long deceived his friends with his am
brosial locks, but Jack's quick eye had
discovered the cheat, and he seized a fa
vorable moment to make a grab for it.
To his inexpressible joy, it came off in his
paw, and the discomfited gallant stood
with his bare poll in the. presence of the
giggling and .amused Clara Coriander.
The amateur gorilla was in a frenzy of de
light, and tore up and down his cage,
scattering Mr. Jonquil's chestnut curls
with savage glee. Old Coriander after
ward had to pay for his wig of course, but
he was so delighted with the stroke of
showman genius displayed in its destruc
tion that he paid the bill without a mur
mur. None but a wild and savage ani
mal, of course, would " snatch a gentle
man bald-hea-dnd." as tn -okl an. m-
preesed it. I suppose some of my readers
who new recollect the occurrence, will
agree with Mr. Coriander in his opinion. "
After the little crowd which this amus
ing affair bad drawn around the cage had
dispersed in various direction, I drew
near, enough to hand Jack a ten dollar
note, which was his share of the proceeds
of my article in the Interoceanic Monthly.
He snatched it furtively, for the keepers
were not far off, and cramming it into his
ferocious jaws (lined with blood-red vel
vet), he howled in his usual staccato fctyla.
1 Dldnt I scalp old Jonquil, though I"
One of the keepers approaching me said
suspiciously, " Look-a-here, young man,
you make entirely too free with that ere
beast. He's awful, he is, and some day
he'll just go for you, if you ain't keerfut
Why, this arternoon, he jest tore a gentle
man's skelp clean off hla head, and he was
bore out in a faintin condition. Jest
see the hair of him all scattered over the
cage."
I humbly thanked him for the caution,
and drew off, asking for information as to
the creature's habits. He was very com
mnnicative.acd enlightened me with much
valuable knowledge relative to his diet,
averring th a he was invariably fd before
the menagerie was opened, the . raw meat
and fiver rabbits which he devoured" exas
perating him by their blood to that degree,
that it was not safe for any person but a
keeper to come into his sight. The gorilla
enjoyed this confidential communication,
and roared his approval thus : " He is the
head liar of this menairerie."
Jack and I kept up a easual correspond
ence irom aay to aay Dy means or ouf
telegraph signals, for I had little time to
see him when off daty. Occasionally I
strolled in of an evening to commiserate
his fearful ennui and cheer him with a
friendly sign, or when opportunity offered
to ohai furtively with the man gorilla,
who swore dreadfully at the bad bargain
which lie made. ' Ilis confinement was
f rowing excessively irksome, and though
is 'constant exercise keot him', in good
bodily health, poor JacV lout his spirits
and grew peeltivcly wretched in mink
One night, 'when I managed to find time
to visit him at lits- 'den " in Morusmulli
caulis street,' he grew plaintive over his
unhappy condition.
" Hang it, 8am," said he, " you have no
Idea how mad it makes tpt to thjnk that I
ave jshut mvieli up in jthat ttage ipr a
year and with no chance of getting out
without telling Clara what I have Deen
doing. And there she goes pottering
about the menagerie, bksa blessed little
angel aa she is, without, tha Wt iAe that
Jack, unhappy Jack, is glowering at her
from his accursed gorilla prisonlonging
to say the words that wwuld bring confu
sion and dismay upon' ail' of us. And
then when I see some other felow flirting
aruanix wiia nr, auu oiu' iHwuwaer leer
ua ur, auu oiu' iHwuwaer leer
her head at me,, knowing full
' aggravated I aur, why, it just
ewfid." Ui.A
ing over
well how
makes me
I comforted Jack aa well as I eould, and
bade him hope that some stroke of luck
would yet deliver him from his. vol an Wry
thraldom and bring him to hie love. .He
was hopeful that old Coriander would find
the . gorilla business , unprofitable and
would offer to boy Ida off, Or consent to
shorter terms. He vowed one day that
unless relief soon came, he would address
tbe crowd about his cage and inform them
that hews an unmitigated humbug; that
he was no gorilla at all, but a distressed
guntleinan. John Gale by name, tempo
rarily held in duress by that aild rascal.
uoiumous tjorlander.' But be restrained
himself; and waited. It was well that he
aiov -
; llQ,s?ftttin. .finding- an aneinaloyed
half hoar at my disprMaf, I suntwed into
the menagerie hall, and watched the poor
weary beasts slowly com posing themselves
to their unquiet slumbers.- It was stearly
time to eloae tha ahow fur tha night, and
not many people war left to stroll about
among the cage. Old Coriander was
there with his fat WiXe, the k) rely Ciara
floating about ia a cloudy while dress, and
iouowea cy uyn of aCTiiruig swains.
p poor ru cry f !!!
length oq tha floor f his ,cigi with his
face snllenly turned to the rear partition.
l'asjintt - by i the poor fellow, with, a Utie '
Dang of regret, 1 shinned beforo a cage of
apes poor Jack's next duor neighbors.
No wonder that te felt blue sometimes.
S(ldDlT'tienrj STa A riMh nt hurrying '
feet) a strange confusion pervaded the
whole place lately so quiet and still, and
above the pungent odor of the menagerie,
1 detected that or burning wood. The
place Was on fire and Instantly everybody
ran for the exit. The hill was filled with
blinding smoke ; the red tongues of flame
thrust themselves eagerly through the
thin partitions which separated the main
exhibition hall from the lumber-rooms in
the rear. And the people who rushed sel
fishly down the narrow stairways, fled not
only .from the .flames, but from the poor
beasts who cowered In their cages or
roared angrily as they caught tha mad ex
citement around them. The scene was
terrible; the crsc'tllna, roaring fires
sweeping out Into the. long room; the
wild terror of the caged animals; me
shrieks and cries of flocks of suddenly
liberated strange birds, and the surging
clouds of emoke which rolled through the
high krehes overhead. Passing near the
soUlW aiga I kau J MVe Tvlmraa ka
yelled with stentorian lungs : " Will no
body lot me ontf Oh, will nobody let
me out ?" Quick as thought I ran behind
his cage, and unfastened tho narrow flap
that closed the opening. In anothor mo
ment tbe African gorilla was out and
across the hall, to where a blonde young
lady in a white dress was being helplessly
borne along by old Coriander, also
encumbered by the1 stont mother of
Miss Clara, for Jack had seen that his
beloved was in mortal danger. Raising
the fainting gtd in his strong arms, the
hairy monster rushed down the stairs,
astounding the coming firemen with the
sight of a ferocious gorilla carrying off a
respectable young lady, whose flaxen
curls lay lovingly over the dreadful shoul
ders of tbe beast, which, with ludricious
failure, endeavored to caress the palid faco
of the young lady with his hairy jaws,
stiff with padding and "whalebone, and
nicely lined with blood-red velvet. -.
The gorilla fled up the street, bearing
his dainty bnrdon for, once In Bight, he
could not stop without exposure. Plod
ding travelers on the illuminated sidewalks
were startled by the swift apparition of a
gorilla carrying off a young lady, who
was borne Into dark alleys to be eaten In
the obscurity of some hidden don. Casual
wayfarers through the dark streets shriek
ed and ran as they behold a flaming dra
gon, leaping with - enormous strides, and
cartvinsr the comae of a nice vonnu per
son, hanging over his shoulder. Goodl
Mrs. Harris, who keeps the lodging-house
at No. 1283 MoruBtnultlcaulis stroot, fell
in a deadly swoon at her 'own.' doorway,
as she was returning from class meeting,
to see the evil one, equipped with the tra
ditional head, horns and tall breathing fire
and sulphurous smoke, and violently de
porting a beautiful young lady, who had
for love of dress and other worldly vani
ties, sold herself to Old Nick. Vaulting
over the prone body of the insensible Mrs.
Harris, Jack eluded his few pursuers, and
darted up stairs to his own private - den,
where he shut and locked himself and his
fair burden from, the world. - .
The lovely Clara revived shortly, and
opening her eyes shut them again with a
great scream. She was in the don of the
African gorilla. There was more fainting,
and more anguish . on the part of Jack,
who cursed his luck and his folly together.
" It's Jack, it's only -Jack,", he cried with
real agony as he tore off his mask', and the
young lady, slowly returning to her senses,
onoa trc opened her eyes and beheld
her lover, a real African gorilla from his
his chin downward, but possessing a very
resolute, yet anxious human head very
like Jack Gale's with the scalp and grin
ning jaws of the defunct monster hanging
behind his ears. - ......
This was an extraordinary situation ; a
nice young lady ia a strange garret, con
fronted by an erratic young mun in semi
gorilla costume ; his countenance flushed
with excitement and exercise; his eyes
wild with anxiety and alarm; his whole
manner that of a person who Is In a state
of utter quandry. The truth of history
compels me to record. the fact that. Miss
Clara Coriander threw up her hands and
laughed as if she would die. She was a
sensible girl and liked a good joke. Old
Coriander's plans were laid tare to her
clear vision in one ' moment ; she saw
through the whole trick and laughed in
the face of the astonished Mr. Gale.
"Oh, Jack," said she, as soon as she
could recover her breath, " how could you
be such a fool f where am If How shall
I ever get home t ' Oh, oh, oh." ' To all of
which Jack could only reply in install
ments. But, by secluding the young lady
en the stairway, he succeeded in preparing
for their return to the Coriander mansion.
Through the half-descrtedtreets the young
couple went in different guise from that
in which tbey bad before astonished those
who saw them flee. The gorilla delivered
up the old man's daughter, and was glad
to be told that the menagerie, not quite
ruined, must needs be closed for a few
months for repairs.
i The show opened again in due season
r with new attractions, under .tho manage
ment or Coriander and Gale, liut in all
the lines of cages of rare beasts, so Afri'
can gorilla was to. be found. In lieu
thereof they showed a handsomely stuffed
skin of the much lamented beast which
came to an untimely end in consequence
of & cold caught by exposure at the great
menagerie fire. Coriander's heart re
lented, when Jack saved his daughter from
the burning building, and he found hit In
ventive genius invaluable in the show
business, t v 1 ' '''-
I have seen the, only young gorilla born
on the American soil, of which there is
any account.
It has pink choeks and blue eyes, and is
learning to answer to the name of Clara
Gale. Oturiand Monthly.
A Disgusted Politician.
Ik 1S42 there' was in the city of New
York a quack doctor named Pease, who
spared neither money nor pains to bring
his medicines before the public no adver
tising dodge was left, untried. At ' this
time tha " Oorr Rebellion " broke out,
causing great excitement throughout the
country. In Philadelphia' lived old Bam
Huyston, a violent politician, who advo
cated pacific measures to end the rebellion,
prophesied dire calamities If any other
means were adopted, and expended much
high-flown e'oquence in trying to convert
othera to his opinion, 1 One morning, as
he and some friends were standing on his
oiu ce steps, conversing on the all-important
topic, the newspaper arrived, and
quite a number of persons gathered round
ta hear the news.1 "Hallo I " said old
Sam ; "Inst as I told yon. Llstenr fellow
citiaens I " and lie bean to read in a loud
voice, with extravagant gestures ; '
"TBI DORB IigBELLlOM I Blood I
blood ( BIOODltl Must this thing be?
Moat brother slaughter brother, and our
fair country be desolated by a civil war f
la there no remedy f Yes, there is one-
mm Vtau't CdtbraUi Catarrh Snuff 1" .
Bam stopped abort, and a look of blank
astoalahjnenti overspread bis faca, which
soon gave ptaoa to one of imaainsa disgust.
"Caraav It ('he slm.W, throwing
rvaner on the ground ai.it etanrblng "on it
Then, shaking his flat at lha crowd, ha
rushed into Lis o.1oa and slammed the
door, amid a perfect roar of laughter. ....
,i . i i im ... r . , I ,
In arguing the healthfjlnees of Florida;
a lottair-wriitir propounds the astounding
statement ti,t "no country is potlrely
1 fNji) C,:i,? n'1 th," f
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A ohat " composer ""-Chloroform.
Tax lap of luxury A eat eating milk.
;Tn editorial " weo" Ills youngest.
A FAinrinrocs brhlrgtooin in New York
has sent to Paris to have his wedding
cards engraved,
8bktk a. oellar nearly finished, a wag-,
glsh author remarked that it was an ex
cellent foundation for a story. , r ;
Sous say that the quickest -way to
destroy weeds is to marry a wiuow. it is,
no doubt, a most agreeablo species of
husbandry.
Kkkp doing, always doing. Watching,
dreaming, tending, murmuring, talking,
sighing, and replying, are Idle aud profit
less employments. ...
A onti. who was making a dress put the
sleeves In wrong. She was unablo to
change them, as she conld not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve in
the wrong place or tho wfong sleeve in
the right place. ( , . , , ,. . .
An exchange in speaking of tho magi
cal strains of a hand'Organ, says i "When
he played 'Old Dog Tray,' we noticed
eleven pups sitting in front of the rna-
cmne on their naunencs, orusniug tue
tears from their eyes with their ' fore
paws." ',.,.." i .. ;.!
An editor says In a recent letter: to a
friend : "At present I am In the country,
recovering from fourteen years' editorial
life bad eyes, crooked back, and broken
norves, with little to show for it". Any
one would thick that tho throe, articles
enumerated were quite enough to show
for it . ......
A wKAtTnv merchant, who had become
a bankrupt, was met, sometime after his
misfortune, by a friend, who asked 'him
how he was gottlng on. 1 " Pretty well,"
said he. "I am vpon my lew again."
" IIovj I already ?" "Yes; I have been
obliged to part with my carriage . and
horses, and must now walk."
Tim Richmond Examiner tolls of a mar
riage between two leg-less colored people
In that city tha . other day.i ' Both, sonic
years ago, were compelled to have thoir
legs amputated at the knee joints, owing
to their having been severely bitten by
thefrost.1 The man had- been married
twice before, and the woman threo times.
Bavs a writer In Llackirood : "I re
member a cruel old schoolmaster of mine
who always accompanied his flagellations
with the assurance we'd bless him yet for
this scourging, and that the time would
come when we'd thank him on our knees
for these wholesome floggings ;' but after
a long lapse of years, I have felt no grati
tude, nor ever met a sohoolfellow who
did. . . ..... .
A Modetj Husband.
1 saw a model husband In a dream,
Whore things are nut exactly what they iccm i
A moral man, to aceptlca be It known :
Toe wife he loved and cherished was his own ;
And for the tost I saw the himhaud wait
With horse and chaise five minutes at the rate.
While Jana pot on her things norapokeona
sour . .. .
Or bitter word, though waiting half an boar
For dinner; and, like Patience on a throne, , .
lie didn't awoar to find a button gone.
A whiter in Amtlelon's Journal sug
gests what he considers the only adequate
method for putting a stop to the evils of
adulteration in the common articles of
food. This is to teach the art of discov
erlng and exposing adulterations in the
public schools. Every school should have
a laboratory, and every boy and girl of
iitteon suouia do instructed tn elementary,
cnouncai testing, anq, mo uso ot the com
mon microscope.
T itk re is an old story of a Venetian
painter who aat up bio picture in the
slreot with the request that anybody who
perceivea error or rauure in the pieco
would " make a note of it." He found as
the result, that every square inch of his
laborious canvas was condemned ; but
when he altered the request, and bugged
that an ingenious public would oblige him
by denoting what was faultless, again
every square Inch was lauded to the skies
oy some critic or another.
Therb are only two marriageable girls
at Coosa, Oregon. On Sundays, half a
dozen or more young fellows sit all day
on the verandahs in front of the ladies'
houses, while each fair one looks at her
followers through, tha half -open widow;
The lovers, all the whllfj, are whittling
bits of white pine. At dark they move
home ; but the damselp. find these visits
profitable, for there is generally left behind
a pile of shavlnga big enough to light
fires for .the rest of the week, .
It is an easy nvattei-to lead grape vlnea
on to single trees, and in this way cousid
erable fruit may be grown at little ex
pense. Low headed, spreading trees are
best for this purpose, like the apple or
butterniat. The vine should be planted In
good soil .several feet distant from the
trunk, and a single cane led up a pole to
somentrong limb, whence it will soon
spread over the entire head of the tree.
The stem of the vine should bo protected
against inlury from stock. Vine coverod
trees would add to the picturesqueness of
many landscapes, and repay the cost aside
from the fruit, but we wouldn't advise any
one to grow less vines In his garden or
vineyard on account of oove'TlDg a Jew
unsightly trees with them. Exchange.
A FBvr days since a little girl in Newark,
N. J, was missing from her homo, ana
all efforts to findjier proved unavailing.
It was Anally suggested that she might
have fallen through a crevice in the walk,
down a distance of forty, feet into tbe
vault of a neighboring brewery. Lights
were lowered throjgh, the aperture, and
afterward a man descended. Strange, to
relate, he foand the little one lying asleep
upon a high bed of dirt and stones, hay
ing become weary with crying for assist
ance. ' When taken but and examined by
a leading physician of that city, (who at
the same time vouches for the correctness,
of this story), she Was found to, be per
fectly well, and to hare suffered no' bodily
harm by her perilous full
A Very Rich Young Man.
tb40ne of them "goes to market," and one
Wacall him 41 Bobolink," and Pap
poose," and " Old Blessod," and all sorts
of names you Know how they do call ba
bies. You grta V, six-year-old Harry would
not think him much of a fellow, I suppose
this small nian ef six montha but he
thinks he is, and so does his , mother,' a(4
hif rather, a jd all the family.
He considers himself very rich, too, or,
as grown-up people n y, " " woliollTi ' Ua
has such white, round, little pegs fixed on
to his hnds for him to play with. Ha
sticks them up and lacks at them side, way,
and edge-way, and every , way, and they
never got lost like your playthings they
are always en nana. 1 hey are so nice to
eat, too. First one fist goes into Ms mouth,
then the other, and then both fUls. The
only trouble ia he ean't swallow them,
they are so big or so something. Too bad 1
isntitf But he don't get discouraged.
Why it was only yesterday he was trying
to swallow a large blanket-shawl and all
his petticoats ; then he bunted hi head
into a big feather pillow, and opened his
mouth at that in a way which must have
been very alarming to the pillow. ! ! 1 i
. Sometimes he gets hold of those little
pink billows down below:, Ile thinks they
are tha ounnlagesti There is such drove
of them I Uo can't count them himself,
but I beltevs ,there are as! aouny as ten.
trif tham "afav-a at hnmii " anri thiin ihjira
is Utile! miU of i rwi that float get any
bread and butler. How be dixts squeal I
Dear I dear) You would think this young
man would cry to hear him, but he don't ;
the ripple it Jaua'jter oojne gurgling up
his little fU throat, until, when at last the
poor piggy gives his very hardest squeal, he
sJaasi M.pW with g'.eo. Ji'i plwu-
ant to have jolly Jitile fat plga Vf otie
own to play with I Ten live pink piggios!
Just think of It! But that Is not all ohl
no 1 He owns a most lovely old ptoo i4
red fKnnel, which his grandma gave hlajn
that is erraj valuable. It Is such a pretty,
anil so bright I He turns It over, vie we it
In every light and taste of it., If yon
should lay a tern thousand dollar green
back down beside it, ho would graart, In
preference, that gorgeous, magnificent
rsg. You couldn't buy that from hlra
with ten or twenty thousand dollar.
Then he has a great many fine musiral
Instruments that he plays on splendidly.
hi vory newspaper he can get hold of he
turns into a piano or an organ. - lis
scratches his nails into them, and digs
holes through them and you might to hear
how beautifully thry do rattle; but tho
brown paper that eomt arrmndthesngtr
! tho best, that is to Cfacklv and hli;h
toned. : p-
lioaide, he has a most entertaining
round hole tn the top of his crips which is
very Interesting in an astronomical point
of view. He studios It Intently, especially
at times aid seasons when ho ought to bo
sleepy. Through it the sunbeams croen
softly down to play with him, filling the
air wun tneir yeiiow bars, until his utile
hands cannot grasp the gold.
i.very thing around him is wonderruL
and beautiful, and bright and all is
created solely for him, he thinks : nothing,
however, that comes within his grasp
escapes ethroough "reconstruction," from
papa s whiskers to nussy'a tail. Hearth
and Home. .. .... .
An Actor's Story.
' many ynrs ago-ode of the most
successful and enterprising of the present
American managers was a scono painter k
a Uoston theatre. Hut, apparently devot
ed to the pencil and the brush., he fult
within him the soul of Roscius. rather
than of Boverly, and secretly longed for
niswionlo lame. To tread the boards before
applauding thousands to appear in front
of the scones instead of painting them
this was his ardent but concealed ambition.
How his ambition was gratified, and with
what results, is a story to long reserved by
junimitur o ior nis private menus.
In tbe course of a-starring tour Edwin
Forrest came to BoBton. and 8. was do-
lighted. Thrre was an actor I How ho
should like to play with Forrest! In a
freak of good humor fortune gavo him the
oppportuulty. "Damon and Pythias "was
announced, wun Mr. D'orrest aa uamon t
but no one would take tha part of Lueul
lus. Perhaps you have seen the play T If
noi, ici me lniorm you tnat iiucuiius is the
faithful slavo of Damon, who kills his
master's horse to prevent him from return
ing to die Instead of Pvthias. When Da.
mon finds that his horse is dead he abuses
Lucullua violently, and this scene always
" brings down the house." . Mr. Forrest Is
the most muscular bt tragedians, and re
ports of the manner in which he vents his
iury in " Diinion and Pythias" had roach
ed Boston, and caused the shrewd minor
actors to shrink the part of Lucullus.
Thus oaine the chanoe for which-B
had long and eaeerlv waited. Iln-Tolun.
ttercd his service ; and the great tragedian,
ancr critically, inspecting tho siigiitioy
lsh flVure-of S -, accepted the volunteer
and rehearsed with him. Tho rehearsals
all went smoothly. ' , '
" Hero I suize you," said Mr. Forrest.
"Certainly, sir," ropliocl. S , .cheer
fully. ". , .. .... .,. .
" Here I push you off at first entrance,"
said Mr. Forrest. - .
" Quite right," replied 8 , who was
getting on capitally. .; .
" You rnuHt glvo up yourself tome," said
Mr. Forrest."
"Never fear1, slrl" replied S , with
a trusting smile. , '
The eventful night arrived. B was
beautifully arrayed in spotless tights and
a Itoman tunic. His handsome face was
whitened and rouged. His hair had been
most becomingly dressed. The whole
company admired him as he stood in a
graceful attitude at the wing. Then the
tue was given and he walked upon, the
stage, "a thing of beauty." He knelt ; he.
spoke his little lines with modest emphasis.
Suddenly the muscular tragedian advanced
upon him like an augry tiger upon a gen
tle )amb; seized him; shook, him In the
air ; threw him from side to side ; released
him only to pounce npon him again, like
a cat playing with a mouse, swabbed the
stago with him aa if he had been a fioof-.
clout ; held him at arm's length, amid thu
eager plaudits of the gallery boys, and at
last flung him out of sight at the first en
trance, and landed him in ' front of the
prompter's box, a dirty, sore, porspiring,
dishevelled, bruised, dlfgustcd heap of hu
manity. "Ah I" .said ft friond, coming up io him
as ho lay panting upon the floor. ' I sat
that you have been playing with Forrest."
"No," groaned poor 8, trying In
vain to rise : "Forrest k-ii been flaying uith
vie ! And a nice object he has made of
met"
Tho next morning B "respectfully
declined" to appear as Lucullus aain(
Making Haste to be Rich.
'
The dreadful domestic tragedy which
has just occurred in Philadelphia the
murder by an insane husband of his wife
and two children, and his subsequent sui
cide Is full of wittnlng to a large class of
men who believe themselves to be peculiarly
exempt from intellectual in (U nut it
MrXlackatone,. the unfortunate cclUlu-.
man who destroyed himself and family,
had Invested his capital in a business which
was really prosperous and profitable ; but
by tbe dishonesty of an accountant, a fun
kulurabla amount of eash had ; been - cm
Wsled. Thero wa4 no deficiency which
the resources of the partnership were- not
amplo.to) meet ; but the theft and loss of so
large a snm overthrew the mind of Mr.
Blackktone, until in his madness he sought
Mr.
with perverted tenderness, to WTO those
who werMettr;to him fto-p want bjr con
signing them to the tomb. 'The motive,
if a man in his condition can be said to
havea motive, 4fa undoubtedly creditable
td the belt feelings of his nature ; but the
original delusion was a mistaken notion,
a melancholy and morbid over-estimate of
the value and Importance of money. This
delusion has at all ; ttmes'Hbeto a fsftttiill
source Df Insanity. It his filled the brains
of squalid alchemists with dreams at
onco a rVjurs and a pain it has be
guiled the half-clad and half-fed mi
ser ,iuto, a contentment with na
kedness' and 'an .indifference to. hun
ger ; it has , destroyed the swect
eet natural relations and changed brothers
to enemies ; it has caused those who were
t first tngenuous to become badly aobtle
and full of dissimulation ; It has proved
too s'.iotig for constitutional benevolence,
and has made the hand close and griping
which nature meant should be generously
open ; it has developed new forms of
foluny and led mun Uito .peculiar and irre.
sUtibletemptatiops; it has provoked di
graceful breaches of. the utoati - saored
trusts and the cruel spoliation of the wid
ow and the fatherless; sad -for. more than
a moiety of all the pain and misery of
thia groaning gkibe it it either dirtily or
indirtotly reeponaibie. tiu& avufci ean
hardly be considered at this tlma as a dis-
iiufjuianiDrf mar a or ine money nitfj
Generally if his gains have been Vrcat,
hl. txperiditOLea Jiave kept pa.ee.. wlU
u0!,ianae. aasiort aaxiouj t yav
claim by luxurious ostentation the golden
favors which have belt bestowed upon
him. JJ ut it is easy to sue that this pro
fusion only adds to bis eager appetite by
iucreajing the demand upon his cyxk
book. To La rich oonleuti the ruUur ; to
le Uiougiit riuit U U pr.on of vtt vM-
rtn' votary of tTHtu ', This Is'not a feftl
ing which Is confluod to wall street, tor
dors It Influence thoso alone who stir the
foundkUoaa nf the market by large trans
actions.' , if a man s sphere be a nar
row- one. within that sphere he wish
rs to be thonght urvful t and he
looks ragt-rly forward from the twilight of
small thing tn the htoai noon-day or un
limited opulence. Buch passions are con
tagioin, and are shared by most of those
who buy and sell. Pecuniary, losses be
come the worct of misfortunes i he who
owes and cannot pay la the vilretof crimi
nals j rivals In trade are hated, and, if pos
sible, crushed, until society seems to be
held tfrettipr only by the cohesive power
of mutual loss and gain, ncre ana there
Is a man who la driven from his cotianl-
mltv by llio prosnect of insolvency, and
la halt mad because he has promised what
he cannot perform : but failure, to most Is
niAtaatrful iwcause it will entail a diminn
tion of importance.and imnly a wantofcomj
merriar taicnt. a tnim vr rmrtii place
in rno rco rtmy content mo majority, but
to bp wholly distanced is intolerable. In
ono or Mr. Irving s earliest but most ex
qulsite sketches thoro Is the story of a
merchant who. was overtaken by bank
ruptcy, and whose principal thought was
or the ulnooni torts and nrtvawons which
his young and lovely wife would be forond,
in consequence or tils revrrtres, to Boner.
It Is hardly necpasarv to remind the read
er of the oVllghlftil moral of the tale of
tho cUccrTul arquicsence of an amiable
and loving i woman . in ' misfortune, of
tha summer light which , her pros
ence diuutrd throughout . the new
and.' humhlo home. If men
would but renirtuber how many excellent
pleasures, row many elevated pursuits.
how many of tho worthiest ends, areoulte
independent of moro material wealth ; if
iney wouk but consider, the ambitions
which best become our better nature ; if
they would think, how truth, aud love
and constancy and slfsaorltloe are often
est the most beautifully developed in an
atmosphere of poverty; If they would
but reflect that no bankruptcy can deprive
them of tho charms of nature, of the grat
iflcnyong of study, pf the happiness of
homo, Uiey might be loss eager in tbo pur
suit of wealth, and less inconsolablo for
the loss of It. But we have forgotten the
hotter half of the lcason which Dr. Franklin
taught nf. Wo are willing enough to thrive
luxuriantly, bat we are not willing to en
joy wiodcraf ely. It Is safe to say that none
of tho admonitions of that fine old man,
which are oflonoat quoted In defense of
acquisition, referred to enormous aggrega
tions of private wealth such aa Tn our
day have become almost too common for
notice, i Happy Is he who can hit upon
the hanpy medium ; who can fairly decide
for himself the relative value of different
schemes of life ; and who can bo content
with poverty if it bo his portion, or whie
In tho use of wealth should It be vouch
safed o him. yew Tork Iribune. , , ,
Strange Sympathy.
-
(
'
PROcntsK.t, the eminent physiologist,
used to mention in one of his lectures
how, traveling ln,B warla, ho put up at a
small inn at letschca isroa, whore, bclug
weathor-bound, he passed his days in
writing. ' Not liking the meager accom
modation of a liltlo village inn, he begged
that at least tuoy would provide him with
a comfortable arm chair. After some de
lay a largo, high-backed, old leathern
throne was placed in hla room, with many
Injunctions to treat It carefully. Ho wel
comed the annexation with dellirhL and
at onco proceeded to avail himself of its
cointorts. bcarceiy, however, had ho been
Boato-1 in it half an hour, when ho was
seized with a pain In tho back of the neck,
wnicn exieuaca gradually down tho f pine.
These pains left hira after, he went to bed,
and returnod when he resumed his place
in the chair next morning. Sometimes
they came spasmodically, and ibroed him
to cry nut ; sometimes they began slightly
and then increased in severity, gradually
engaging one nervous center after another
and causing intense suffering. But all the
'symptoms would, slowly, subsldo on; re
moval .Iroui , tho chair. Instantaneous
ly, returning when, ho wont back to
it There was scarcely form of neural
gia ho did not experience!" The facial
nerves wore constantly the seat of suffer
ing, and his sciatic agonies were terrible.
Uo examined the chair carefully and
thdroughly. , Ho rlppld open tko leather
covering, and ho Investigated the hair-',
stuffing beneath. . He tested tbe varnish
on 'he wood, and,, in fact, .left nothing
undone that -might throw light on the
curious influence of evil this antique
piece of furniture possessed, but to no'
purpose. Nothing came of all bis perqul-'
sition, and ho was driven to seek if the
history of the chair could afford any ex
planation of these phenomena. To his,
amazoinent ho learned that his landlady
had borrowed the chair from a doctor in
the village. He had used it for years in
his study, and in it some hnudreds of
patients had undergone the various oper
ations of surgery. The well-worn arms,
showing where agouUcd hands . Lad
grasped convulsively, the patched leather
attested Mia violence which had ati.endud
these struggles. V I bought the vicious
old seat, and had it hacked up before my
eyes, and the fragments thrown into the
Kibe," said the Professor, but the lesson
it taught mo I have never forgotten.-
8t, Taut' M3i:tne.. ;"...'. , .
Why Do Not Teeth Last Our Lifetime!
. .... ; ... .. . tluiei ,., ,.. .. , . j ,.
That they are raa le a porfect, if the
right materials are furnished, there can
not be a doubt.,
But are tho pcce?sary elements fur
nished to children ad they are the young
of the other animals i And do we not
subject our teeth to deleterious influences
4 from whitih animals that obey their natu
ral instincts are exempt I - i
The forming young of other animals,
while dependent on tho mother, get lime,
and Phosphorus, and potash, and ailet,
and all the other elements of which tha
teeth are cimposed, from ' thp blood or
milk of the mother, and she gets ;thcm
front tho fcod which nature provides eon.
taiuing those element in their na.ural
proportions.' . t" -i ?a ... . .
But whsre can the child In its forming
state get these necessary elements, whose
mother liven principally on starch, and
butter, and sugar, neither' of which con
tains a particle of lime, phosphorus, potash
or silexr . Nature .perluruia no miracles,
She makes teeth as glass ia made, by ooua
biniDg the slenieuU whiuu ooiupoae them
according to her owa chemicai principle
And thU illustration Is "wore forcible be
came the composition of the enamel of
the Uctii aud of glasa la very neurl iden
tical ; both at least requiring the combi
nation pi sijvx with iioiue alkaline priucl
pie.. l ,. v.-.. ' ..l -,...-.l
If, then, the mother of an nnbora or
nursing infant lives on white bread and
butter, pastry and confectionery,' which
contain no silex, and -vny little pf the
other elements which compose (he teeth,
nothing: short of a niLrudo can give her a
chill with H'Hhi tooth, aud especially with,
teetlt well tiuaiueUJ. , - .,. ... . , . .
But what artk leof food wiU suake good
teeth f U.xid uitin will snake good teuth,
for H makes thesn fr eaHsa Good meat
will make giod teeth, forit make them
Ifor ' irorti arid wolves: Good vegetables
nd fiuit will make good let lb, tor they
make theiu for menl. -:).""' -"' .
j;(Jo)d corn, oa's, b.uley, Ttlieul, rye, and
ludeod, eve thing that groTvs,wilI make
good UuUi, M oiaten iu llielr Natural Blate.
no tU wonts bciug taken cut; ior every
one of thtsui doc;i make teeth for horses,
co s, tfop, or son.' cii;tru!n.U, j;ut
stAVch, siifcHr, lard, ( butler wl'l nof rnsle
good teeth, Yfu triad them nil fvor
child's first teeth; ; and ' failod and- yonr
neighbors have tried them, and in-Wi:! all '
Christendom) 1 has tried thm. and' the
raaailt ia-tiratavna-BrT'r' woman's frmy
with rood, sound .tfvfh ht rut rar .ex
ception. Dr. A. J. Udkwe. '
FACTS AND FIGURES.
Nast makes C300 a week with ba-nen
Cil . s ." ..
Trtli valuation Of Hartford. Conn., ia
4t,7tM,164 -.; " .!itiv ii .J ..
, Nsw BBintawicK paid $1,130 of dead
boars last year.; ., . .
"OrtiK In Southern Asitt enables 400.-
000,000 people to gcrdfBnk. .. ,,",
ai angneir ciergyrrma charges fldubia
fees fir marriages" in Lerrt.""' !
"K'ocrrr rifle, with a' barrel ""only'
eighteen Inches nn(f, bae been tuveiisexi.
It Is rumored that Charles Dlckeni will
agalsi visit this eouniry in the fall. '
a A ot la Phillips, Me., has been con
victed of profanity and finod nine cent
by a Justice.. ... .. .. . ,...-.-
Saxony, with a population ef 010.000.
had, .210. suicides , last year 15S men' and
63 women. .. . . t , , . ,
Tpet have stylish parties in Boston. at ,
which no ono worth less than $300,000 is
admitted. ' ' ! '
CnARi.cs Wasutvbrodurf of" the von-1
erable founder ef Methodism, wrote sevfc
thousand hymns,- !..,. ,. .,v
MaMiouRsa, Australia, though but t
thirty years old, has a quarter of a million
of Inhabitants. ' ' .......
Tn bH of the Missouri river, at ftfoux-'
City, Is 340 feet above that of the Mlssfe-'
slppi at Dubuque, in the same la tit ad a. ;
Tim first newspaper printed tn law.
lea was, issued In Boston, April A, 1704...
Only one complete copy of It is prescrred.
A HRfli'KcTHLa citizen of Philadelphia..,
lives, when they are In season, upon noth
ing but goose-eggs, partaking of nine- per
dieliti j . .-, ! - ' . -t- tm t. t
Ait old woman In one of tha French -,
departments has Just died and disinherit? .
ed her nephew because he sung the Mar- ,
selllaise in 1339. ' '
Af 'Alexandria, Va., a gulf stuck 1U ta
lons into the back of a fish, which prosmt
too powerful for the bird, aud after a -ae-.
vere struggle, carried it under water. . .,..)
' In the village of Union Springe, N. Y., '
there are a thousand and more shade-areee,
planted during the past ten, years by a .-tree-planting
association.
A Ci.kvri.akd convict hung hlmaeir .
in effigy the other day, maktag a gene- "
ral scare among officials, who proceeded '
to cut the body down, when a resarreo
tion occurred front under the bed.
Milan has provided its customs officers ,
with very powerful mloroscopes for thtf
examination of all moat brought into the
city, to make sure that none of it harbors
triohir.ro sporalis.' ........
In Europe thore are about 10.000 known
snecles of flics, Included in 080 genera. Ia
North America about 3,500 species have
been describsd, but the whole number will '
probably amount to 10,000, '.- "
A deputation of Englishmen' lately
placed upon the tomb of Maximilian a su-'
pern crown or soim silver, the product -or '
a subscription. The crown was made by -an
eminent joweler of Paris. . . .. - .
A Mississippi editor and Justice of the -Peace
married a couple in 1858, divorced
them in 1800. married the man to another
woman in 1891, ditto the woman to an- 1
other man in 1862, and recently married
the original couple. , , . . ,
Henry Lbwttii, of Hartford, died re
cently, and left an estate worth, $23,000,
and debts which figured up $7,000 more
than that. Mrs. Lewith not only wave-' her
legal rights to one-third the estate, but 1
paid tko balance out of her own pocket.
An enterprising velocipede mannfao-'
turer has offered a handsome premium to '
the corporation of Paris for liberty to
establish ' velocipede "stands," as ' In the .
case of cabs, throughout the city, fixing
hla tariff at foun sous aa hour, or one -frank
per day. i - i .. - - '.
It 18 a fact not generally tknown, per-,
haps, that Washington drew : his last
breath in tho last hour pf the last day of the .,,
last week, In the last month of the year, ,'
aud last year of the century. ' IT 4 died on '
Saturday night, at 12 o'clock, December "
31, 11911. Cincinnati Enquirer ;
A don rev in the subuibv'bf London"
has attained a celebrity by showing a
fondness forbearing the concertina played'
At the souud of the instrument' he will' '
f ailop toward the. player, braying loudly.'
t la suggested that he wishes. In .a hu-...
mane spirit, to drown tho sound of the Inn
strumenk . , , . - . ,; ., t
Doos are In tralning'ln .New York for r
thieving purposes. They' are taught to
rush into a room, seize from tho coimtor a ,'
parcel, and quickly bring H to their mas- T
ters. - The counter is made to resemble
those In banks, and the pared is covered 1 .
with yollow paper, to look like the pack
ages of bank notes that are exchanged be
tween different banksv ,; I- ..:..,ir
An English physician has Just dlseoyV"
ered that the moon passes -sueceeaivolyV '
durlug Its different phases, from a temper.
ature of molten lead to that of the congei ...
latlon of mercury., While the sun darts
its rays upon her, a thermometer suitably
constructed would indicate a temperature
nf nearly 600 deg. -While, on the contrary,'1'
upon the side apposite the sun, tie instru
ment would descend to.70 dog., below sserv
thus giving a fortnight of Siberian winter,.!
followed by a fortnight. of super-tropical ,.
summer I
An Illinois correspondent of the Oac.''
try Gentleman baa much faith, in real ea-1
tate. He says t "The sharpest and ablest ,
man, with $1,000 at starting, may buy and .,
sell and trails and deal, add profit to profit,' v
loan money at SO per cent, and shave "
notes at 23 or 80, and fret and worry, and-
Stew through along and laborious life, and '
at tha end no .will not have accumulated...
rhalf as much as he would, had he made at.
siarung, me same .investment in rcw ea
state, sat down, took things oooly and ,-'
waited on fortune. ,Thia is the average es-. '.
perlence." ' " ,, i
A rain of lovers, .near Bristol, Eng
land,. wr taking a Tralk, when Some
slight disagreemect arose between them. .
and the young man walked hastily away..
The young woman soon went in search of ,
him, and found that he had climbed a tree
and hanged himself by his handkerchief
Nobody was near the spot, and the girl ;
at onoa climbed the tree to cut her lover I
down, but she had no knife with her, and
tha only way by which she -could effect '&
her object was by biting through the
knotted handkerchief -This, with some -difficulty,
she succeeded In doing, and the "
youth full on the ground Jcaeuaible. ' Ke '
was U-ken- to a hospital, aid it was on'
sidered, doubtful, whether ho, would r-
C07or f. : .f ..it ii:
Stopped His Paper.
, v ,i a i .... . M; . it' MLfln )
Tug following aneedote of the late Kr.n
8 wain, (rom the Philadelphia iVa, is not i
without its moral .in other laUtudos Uia,
Pennsylvania! i . . ... w .
Many years ago, Mr. Swain, then editoi.
of the Jvbtio Liger was hailed at the"
ooraa of lEighteenth -and Clieetntif;
streets by t Very excited Individual, whp '
inftirmed him in the most emphatic tcrnit, ,
' I have atopjKd yonr paper, sir," atdu
prociM-dud to explain the why and wjire. t
fore, all the time ft'dlouUUug w Udly. "ii y ,
graciona, air, you don't say so. Oonaa w lib V
me U tha oilc&, aud lot us see if we -oaJo A
not-ireniedy the matter. - It grievsa m
that any one should stop luy paper.3-'
Down Chestnut streer to-Thlrd the two
Eroceeded. Arriving at the office, Mr.
wain said, " Why, my dear sir; every,
thing seems to be going on here as Os'ial ; '
I thought you had slopped my puiier.'' ;
Then snd, there the excited g.vnUcii.an."-,
horn the . r walk, br lh way, 11 "
partly cool, .id. that he had sUijm i
taking hie uuai copy of the J.eJ'jer. lit.
Swain was profuse in hi apol u i. s t,,r ".
having ni'suuderst.jod the n.enii; i i h-i
lute subscriber's wrtid. and rtrre; . j ths; -be
had j'ivrn 'hini ' the Uw -(oxf
KchtreiflU BecflO 'Tldi f, do n' 't'h. . ,
nut,, 'he 'cbtlaiinciA Kii,i.!. un V.-i v.v ,
home, a vt iher if not a Wr.i r ;
yelliug at the stupidity of editor ia g t-a, i
eral, and of Mr. Bwaia in particular, lie
fore ho left, howevers he oidr&l t-sit tVe