Newspaper Page Text
I RECOVERY I
Copyright, Tho Frank A. Munsoy Company. By Harriet Gaylord. Joo Parsons slouched over to tlio back piazza nud sat down on tho stops, mopping tho perspiration from his weak, good-natured face. That last log of wood had been knotty and obstinate, and ho had earned a rest from his labors. Through the screen door of tho kitchen sounded tho twnngy voices of tho ladies sewing so ciety assembled In noisy session. Suddenly his own namo shrilled on his cars out of the discord. "I seo yo got Joo Parsons spllttln" up yer wood, Mis' Perry." That was tho voice of Sue nansom, tho postmaster's wife. "Yaas. I feel sort o' sorry fur Joe." "Waal, I don't. Joo's n fool, or he'd got outer Ann's game long ngo. She's Jest plumb lazy, an' that's nil 'ot's tho matter 'th her. She c'd git up fast enough- ef sho wanted ter. That chump of a Joe, ho jest does her work an' liis'n, an' worships tho groun' sho walks on!" "Bed she lies on 'd be nearer tho truth," interposed a voice ho did not recognize During tho laughter which followed this witticism, Joe slipped off the steps and again tackled his wood pile. Thought was not IiIb long suit, but to day ho accomplished wonders along the line suggested by the chance words he had overheard. That eve ning, as lie slouched homeward, he chuckled audibly to himself. "Waal, Ann, darlin', how ye ben tor day any better?" he asked, entering the bedroom of the little throe-room cottage to which ho had broughl his bride ten years ngo. "Jes, milldlin, Joe Jes' mlddlin'." Ann was a plump, good-looking blonde, suggesting little of the Invalid as sho lay propped up In bed with a paper-covered novel lying on tho patch-work quilt which served as a counterpane. Joe, who had stopped In the kitchen for an anticipatory scrubbing, stooped over to kiss his wife. "Ye're jest as pooty as ever, Ann," he said adoringly, as ho lifted her long yellow braid and gazed at it with wonder in his eyes. "I worship the ground we walk on no, the bed yo He on M bo nearer tho truth!" Joe roared with laughter as if the witticism were his own. "Joe, ye're so rough!" sighed Ann, looking longingly at her novel and the decreasing light outside. "I'm hungry. D'ye think ye c'd make cream toast fur supper? 'Pears like it 'd taste real good ternight." j "I guess so, darlin'. Let me see j it's six years, ain't it, sence ye fell on the Ice an' hurt yer spine?" "Seven year come next March," she answered resignedly. "Ain'tyo no better, dearie? Don't the doctor think ye'll be gittin' up soon an' goln' ter fairs an meetin's an' sewin' soci'ties?" "Some day, I guess." She was im patient now. "But not yit. My back aches me so. Joe, I'm awful hun gry!" "So ye be dearie; so ye be! I'll git supper as quick as ever I kin ef ye'il jest give me one good kiss an' hug ' fust." I Ann's part in tho embrace was pas sive rather than reciprocal, but Joe seemed satisfied as he trotted ofl to ! his culinary labors, leaving his inva-! lid wife absoibed in the love affairs' of Lady Wihelmina Geraldine Mont gomery. Joe's unwonted efforts along tho thinking lino bore no fruit until mid night was passed. Anu was sleeping soundly by his side. Suddenly she grew dreamily conscious that the bed was no longer a comfortable retreat from the cares and worries of life; and in another minute sho was wide awake. "Massy sake, Joe, what's the mat ter? Is't an earthquake?" But Joe made no answer except to roll over and over and groan unintel ligibly. "Joey, Joey," Bho begged, "fur the land's sake, tell me what's the mat ter!" Joo, who had never had an hour's illlness in his life, chuckled and groaned and groaned and chuckled, thrashing about llko a whalo In tho darkness. It was fully seven years since she had called him Joey, and he felt drunk with unaccustomed power. At last, from the upheaval of her quiet, invalid world, sho distinguished these ejaculations: "Git mo somethln' ter stop this pain! I'm goln' ter dlo I'm goln' ter die!" "Oh, don't dlo! Don't die, Jooy!" she wailed. "Darlin, darlin', don't die! Oh, tell mo what tor do!". "Whisky 'n' hot water!"' ho groaned. "Whiskey 'n' hot water! Quick! Quick! Oh, my head, my head!" As ho thrashed near tho middle of tho bed, 'sho was pitched dangerously near tho edge sho who had hardly put foot on tho floor for six years! "Oh, I can't! I can't walk!" sho wailed. "Oh, my back, Joey! My back!" "Oh, my head! My head! I shall dlo! I shall die!" ho yelled, pushing her further toward tho edge With a shriek, sho leaped to tho floor. "Oh, I dunno where tho matches are, Joey! Where are they? Where oro they?" "On tho bureau. Oh, I'm dying!" "They won't light!" Sho broke them oft frantically, ono by ono. "Oh, my head I I shall dlo! I shall dlo! Git mo sumthln hot!" With trembling fingers Ann found a second card of matches, and ono broko Into sulphurous and smelly flamo. When sho had lighted tho lamp, sho saw why tho first card had delayed illumination. In her ex citement sho hnd broken off, ono by one, tho tooth of her best pompadoui comb. ' "Hurry! Oh, my head, Hurry!" With ono despairing look at the writing heap of man and bedclothes, she rushed Into tho kitchen and at tacked tho stove. When tho kettle was on, she scurried about to find a wrapper and her long-unused shoes and stockings. Then she knelt, sob bing, by the bed. "Oh, Joey, I'm so sorry! What shall I do? Can't yo Ho still ono minute, dear?" "No!" ho groaned. "I'm dyln', 1 guess. Git the doctor!" "I can't Joo!" sho shrieked. "Never in this world! Why, It's half a mile ter tho village, and no houses on the way! An' I'm sick!" sho whimpered. But Joe hnd tasted power, and he hardened his heart. "Somethln' hot!" he temporized. When sho was in the kitchen, he stretched up in n most lucid manner and looked out of tho window. Bright moonlight and a peaceful summer landing gave him reassurance. At her return he quited long enough to gulp down the hot whisky; then his gymnastics Increased. Sho stood over him, wringing her hands, wild terror In her eyes. "Oh, Joey, Joey, don't die!" she sobbed. "Don't, don't die! 1 couldn't live 'lthout ye, no way!" He suddenly stiffened and grow straight and rigid. "The doctor," lie gasped. "Git me tho doctor!" Then Ills' eyes closed. "Joey! Joey!" sho screamed. "Joey!" She took hold of his arm and shook him. He was limp beneath her touch. "Joey! Joey! Joey!" With "a last despairing cry, she ran out at the door and Into tho night. Eagerly he jumped from tho bed and leaped to tho window. When he- saw his Invalid wife running down tho road toward the village, ho threw back his head and roared with de light and with tho joy of a victory won. On the next Sunday morning, when good-natured, weak-faced Joe Parsons slouched proudly up the meeting house aisle, followed meekly by his handsome, portly wife, Sue Bansbm learned over and whispered to Mrs. Perry: "I told you so!" An Addition to the Scriptures. Stetson was his name, and the pro duction of grout dramas was his busi ness. ' His great talent was success, and his weakness was that he always liked to "show off" when ho was re hearsing a play. He was In the habit of sitting back in the darkened theat er and, whenever a stranger came in to see the rehearsal work, he put him self In tho foreground by jumping to his feet and bawling out the actors and actresses. When he was putting on a big pro duction of "The Holy City," three friends of his entered the theater one afternoon to' see the dress rehearsal. As soon as they had sat down, Stet son began to fidget In his seat. He was consumed by tho old fever for prominence. He wanted the visitors to seo that he was tho boss of every thing. , There were twelve men on the stage, which was unusually large. "Who are thoso men on tho stage?" ho called out to his stage manager in a thunderous voice. "That's ono of tho big scenes of the play," the manager said humbly. "Those men are the twelve disciples." "Oh, well," shouted Stetson imper iously, "go out and get twelve more. That's a big stage, and we want to fill It up." The Popular Magazine. His Wish. A wicked story is told about two partners who respected each other's business ability, but who hated each other cordially. To ono of them came a fairy saying that ho could have any boon he desired, and whatever he had his partner should have In double por tion. Naturally his first wish was for a barrel of money. "All right," said the fairy, "but your partner will get two barrels on that wish." "Stop a little," said tho first. "Per haps you'd better not give mo a barrel of money. I'd rather you would make me totally blind In ono eye." Gave Her Another. A professor of sciences, well known for his absent-mindedness, wa engag ed in a deep controversy one day wth a fellow scholar, when his wlfo hur riedly entered. tho room, "Oh, my dear," sho cried, "I've swallowed a pin." 'The professor smiled. "Don't worry about It, my dear," ho said, In a sooth ing tono. "It Is of no conseuence. Hero " ho fumbled at his lapel "Hero Is nnothor pin," His Throat Was Sore. A boy who had been absent from school for soveral days returned with his throat carefully swathed and pre sented this note to his teacher: "Please don't let my son loam any German to-day; his throat is so sore ho can hardly speak English." His New Way. Upllfter "Aren't you ashamed to ask for monoy?" Weary Willie "I got six months for taking It without asking." RUSSIAN'S ODD WAQEB. Tho Eight Different Methods of Loco- motion by Which He Won. A man named Duhoroff has just won a highly original wager Rt Kief, Russia. Ho had undertaken to appear dally during olght dnys In tho strcota employing each time a dlftorent mode of locomotion. Ho commenced by running down tho stops of his dwelling and along tho boulovard on his hands. Tho fol lowing day ho hopped through the town on ono leg. Stilts, a Bklpplng ropo, roller skatos and a bath chair nil followed In turn. Ono day ho was conducted through tho principal thoroughfares by a small boy who-led him on a Btrlng. Tho finest of his exploits was un doubtedly yesterday's performance when, turning succosslvo somersaults In the air for nearly a rallo, ho arrived amidst enthusiastic chcors at tho cafo whoro his friends woro waiting to be stow tho prlzo upon him. Women In Japan. Japan controverts somo western Ideas as to woman's sphoro, for In tho province of Shtmn, on the south coast of the Island empire, women are tho sterner sex, and not only do most of tho field work but are also employed as divers. Stripped to tho waist, they enter tho water at all sea sons except during tho coldest months of tho winter, 'remaining un der water somotlmcs for over a min ute, and fish up shellfish nnd tongusa (a kind of seaweed), which they placo In a small net carried by each diver at tho glrdlo. Those female div ers arc extremely hardy. Tho life Is, however, a trying ono, and tho con stant exposure causes thoso engaged In It to become very coarse in appear-, ance and to ago quickly. OF PLAIN AND FIGURED MOIRB The predominating color is a palo pllve green, the bolero showing fig ures In bright colors with cuffs and lapels of black satin, held by silver buttons. The vest of Ivory white crepe is bound with Chinese blue, and porce lain buttons of tho same shade are used ornamentally. The skirt is one of the peg top adaptations and is finished with black silk tassels. NEW OUTLINES Just a hint of the return of the but tle is noticeable in the outline pi this model. It Is one of those designs evi dently made for the purpose of using quantities of material. The skirt has a double tunic in flare effect, and the coat a full-pleated flounce. The collar Is of embroidered linen. FN' MK MhrW ml HI FLIM-FLAM. How to Take Advantage of a Good Natured Salesman. A now flim-flam game was worked n few days ago on a grocor's clerk who hnd Just been given employment In an uptown drug store. A stranger who cutorcd tho storo purchased a five-cent cake of soap giving a ten dollar noto In payment and receiving a five-dollar ono, four onos and 05 cents In coin In change. Putting the small money In his pocket he placed nnothor dollar noto on top of tho four ones and asked for a five-dollar bill. Tho clerk readily handed over nnd tho stranger put tho noto In his pock ot. Then taking the ?5 first given him and placing It on top of tho flvo ?1 bills, which tho clerk had not yet taken from tho counter, he requested tho return of his original $10 note. Tho accommodating clork compile with tho request before figuring oui whoro ho stood and tho stranger left tho store richer by a "fiver," 95 conti in chango and a cako of soap. Fhlla dclphia Record. His Sign Down. A dlshovoletl mnn, much the worse for liquor, staggered out of a Maine "speak easy" and laboriously propped himself against tho door. For a while ho owllshly surveyed tho passersby. Suddenly his foot slipped nnd ho col lapsed In a heap on the sidewalk. A moment later he was snbring. A lrurrylng pedestrian paused, re flectively surveyed the fallen man for a few seconds, and then poked his head in the door. 4 "Oh, Frank!" ho called. "Frank, come out here a minute." Presently tho proprietor of the joint, smoking a fat cigar, emerged. He blinked in the bright sunlight. "Hello, Hud," he said pleasantly. "What's up?" Hud Jerked his thumb toward the slumberer on the sidewalk. "Yer sign has fallen down," he ex plained, and briskly resumed his walk uptown. Everybody'3 Magazine. Requested not to Sing. nnrnnM M10 mnnncnp nf n fsislllnrii able summer hotel received com plaints from several of his best patrons that the occupant of a cer- . tain room on their floor kept them awake nights with his Incessant and night-piercing snoring. Ihe next day the manager sought out the objection able snorer, who happened to be a singer of foreign renown, and ac- ' quainted him with the situation. "Vat! I snore night?" exclaimed the artist, bristling at this accusa- tion. "Do you knpw who I am? I am , Spitzler, the great German basso!" ( "Well, then," rejoined tho hotel , manager, "kindly refrain from sing ing nights!" Brooklyn Life. Banking Upon a Gold Basis. There Is under construction In Colorado Springs, Col., a seven story bank building, whose foundations are composed principally of gold ore. Of course, this ore Is of a low grade and has no shipping value for the mineral It contains, but, when mixed with ce ment, it forms a concrete which is exceptionally stron and durable. The contractor In charge of the work on the Exchange National Bank Building obtains this ore from tho mines and the dumps on Bump Hill, in the Cripple Creek district, at a cost of between $1 and $3 a ton. Tho total value of the gold in this unique foundation has been estimated at $2, 000. Harper's Weekly. His Business Ability. In the Adirondacks lives a man too lazy to work, but evidently of great business ability. One winter, when he was sitting around smoking, his neighbors, who could 111 afford to help him, took up a collection and bought for the suffering family a bar rel of flour, a barrel of pork and a load of wood. Thoy were not consid erate enough to cut tho wood, but the business man knew how to manage. He hired some of his neighbors, who had not contributed to his donation, to cut the wood, and paid them with half the .pork and half tho flour! Lip plncott's; Aiding Nature. . Until last winter, when a severe storm carried it away, one of the at tractions of a certain Virginia resort was a small natural bridge. It appears that tho natives were un willing that so Interesting a feature of the place should be lost, so they took steps to replace it. The new construction was successfully accom plished, and all might have been well but for a sign which the builders put up: NATURAL BRIDGE. Erected by John J. Simmons and Company. Affronted. "I havo here," said tho caller to tho neat young woman who had opened tho door, "a very desirable little prep aration warranted to cure tan. I see you havo been at the shore. Two treatments with this preparation will make your skin a dazzling white." "Go on 'way from heah," responded the girl. "Caln't you-all prognosti cate a 'spectablo yallor girl from dem cad-abouts on de boa'dwalk?" Phila delphia Ledger. CASTORIA For Infants and Children In Use For Over 30 Years Always bears tho Signature of fe&X KINDLY MENTION THIS PAPER WHEN WRITING TO OUR ADVERTISERS. A Fruitful Potato Plant. Not satlaflod with yloldlng nn onor mous output In tho regulnr way, an Irish potato vino growing In tho gar den ot C. C. Nail nt Luthorsvlllo, Go., somo time ngo began to put out pota toes all along Its brnnchos, and, whon sent to tho "Constitution" offlco yes torday, had potntoos as lnrgo aa oggs growing practically all over tho vino. In a lottor accompanying tho froak, Mr. Nnll states that tho vino grow In his gardon, whoro tho land Is a mix ture of snnd and rod clay. On taking up the plant, ho found that tho Indus trious vine hnd not neglected Its reg ular duty whllo pulling off lta unusual stunt, as provon by tho fact that an unusually largo number ot potatoes were found In their accustomed plnce In tho ground. Atlanta Constitution. Pure Water vs. Typhoid. Prof. Geo. M. Kobor rocently col lected statistics showing that tho sub stitution of a puro for a contaminated water-supply In American cities has been accompanied by a decroaso of rlnatfia frm lvnint nmnnnHnir fr more than seventy per cent. Before the change the deaths numbered, on the average, 69.4 per 100,000; since, they have fallen to 19.8. A bulletin of t the New York State Department of Health In 1908 showed, in ten cities, ' a reduction of over fifty-three per cent, in the typhoid death-rate aftor the introduction of a pure wator-sup-ply. Youth's Companion. A Lesson for Older Folk. Some one told my little child there were bears up-stalrs In the dark, so she refused to go alone to bed. I told her there were no bears, and anyhow God Is love, and If she would always i say that to herself nothing would j harm her. At last she was persuaded to go alone. As It got darker toward the top of the stairs I heard her say- j lng aloud over and over: "God Is love they Isn't no bears. God la love they Isn't no bears." i A Hopeful Soul. "Hope springs eternal," says the poet. The Chicago News gives a ' striking Illustration ot the truth of his words. Woman is naturally more hopeful than man. I Yes, there's my wife, for Instance; ; for years past every time sho had occasion to buy fish she has asked the ' dealer If they were fresh, hoping, I suppose, that some day he'll say na ' A Roman Lady's Oyster Fe'at. In the palace of the Caesars in Pompeii are still seen vomltoria, ' where ancient Romans, when filled to surfeit, would tickle their throats with finger or feather and so eat ten or twelve times dally. A Roman grande damo at one sitting thus enjoyed 2, 000 British oysters. Cicero showed appreciation for Cato by making six such returns at one session. . Good to Remember. I Physical defects can be turned Into Incentives to success Instead of draw- ' backs, what we look upon aa handl-' caps in the end may prove spurs to enable us to reach the goal of desire, J if we know but how to use them. We make our own happiness, we carve our own success. I GASOLINE USERS i A TTP I? Rl HP I ft 1M -&A JlJLillAl A LIQUID ADDED TO GASOLENE INCREASES MILEAGE AND GASOLINE ENGDTES, MOTOR BOATS PROM . ABSOLUTELY q More Mileage a More Power FOR LESS Simply pour one-half () ounce of GASOLETTE in each gallon of gasoline. The motor responds with 40 to CO per cent increased efficiency. GASOLETTE removes and precvents carbon. GASOLETTE adds to the life of the motor. ' GASOLETTE prevents pre-ignition. GASOLETTE leaves cylinders and valves in an oily condition. GASOLETTE makes satisfied customers the world over. Guaranteed not to contain Picric Acid, Ether, Camphor or any ingredient injurious to motors. One Gallon GASOLETTE treats 256 gallons gasoline, ?6.00 per gal. One quart GASOLETTE treats G4 gallons gasoline, ?1.35 per qt For Sale by all Leading Dealers, Automobile Accessory and Supply Houses. WANTED Elibl firms and individuals to represent us in nil citiw of the United States. THE SIMPU3 IJFE IN FINIiANB. I In the Summer All Classes Spcad Most of the Time Out of Doors. In Finland ovorybodyy lives th simple ltfe in summon They camp out on Islands, In the forests, and always somowhoro near tho wator, for ovorybody swims and bathos. Almost all classes sleep and eat al frosco at this time of yoar and tha town councils of tho towns in this progressive nnd nltogothor delight ful little country provide publio fireplaces nnd public bathing sheds In all places whoro tho working classes go la search of fresh air. But tho simple llfo It) by no moans dull with tho frisky Finns. They combine it with a surprising amount Of gayoty. They cat, drink and are very merry In their plctursquo little log cabins outsldo tho cities. Whon they are tired of bathing and splnshlng, they donco, they sing, they watch flroworks and practice gymnastics; they all bocomo Ilka children and are tho very happiest, merriest, most good natured, most easily pleased and most healthy holiday makers In tho world. The I.oiiKest-Iilvc(l. If you would enjoy n long llfo yon should become n minister (of any re ligious denomination), or, falling that, a gardener, a gnmokooper, a fnrmer or a railway engine driver. These, according to Dr. John Tat ham's report to the Registrar-General on tho mortality In certain oc cupations during the three years from 1900, which was Issued last night, are tho callings which offer the best prospect of longevity. At tho other end of the scale come tho gen eral laborer, tho tin miner, tho hawk er and tho hotel servant, and about midway are the physician, tho under taker and tho tobacconist. As compared with lawyers, Dr. Tatham records, medical men dlo more rapidly at every stage, ot life, whllo as compared with the clergy their mortality Is enormously In excess.- London Daily Chronicle. A NEW DISCOVERY r Positively Cures DANDRUFF Wiley D. R. Golden Luck Shampoo Grows hair; cures Ec zema; stope Dandruff; ends all Scalp Troubles. We have hundreds of letters to prove it. Wiley's D. R. has yet to find- a failure. It w:ll cure your case, or money refunded. Order by mail. TRICE, $1.00 ptrboi lie . F. E. WILEY, ' Toledo, Ohio 244 Superior Slrect TRADEMARKS DESIGNS, COPYRIGHTS Etc- OWEN, OWEN & CRAMPTON 922-926 Nicholas Bide Doth Phones 9 POWER IN ALL KIND8 OF AUTOMOBILES AND 40 TO 60 PER CENT. GUARANTEED. More Speed Cleaner Engines MONEY XVfetOj it Hi UNITED PRODUCTS MFG. CO. 1241 Michigan Ave., Chicago, DJ. If Your Dealer Does Not Sell GASOLETTE, Use This Coupon UNITED rnonucTS aiFG. CO. 1211 MIi-IiIrhu Ave., Cblcnso, 111., Loas DlHtiince Telephone, Col. 4003. Gentlemen: enclosed And $5.00, for which tl.3B, send to my address given below 1 gallon can j" 1 quart, of Gasoletto, expreas prepaid. Name Street and Number City State. . . .' My Dealer's Name P.P. V Ml VH gMwrait'STi'g''W'''M'pgE'gr''