Newspaper Page Text
Springfield Globe -Republic
THE HVBINGFIEIil GLOBE,
Tolumo "V. Numbor Si.
SPliPTGFIETA OHIO, TUESDAY EVENING, FEBRUARY 24, 1885.
ITIIE HPBINOPIELTJ IlEl'OUT.IC
J VolumeXXXI. Number 2J.
OWEN, PIXLEY t CO.
AVii.nt.aTox, Feb. 24. Tennessee and
Ohio Valley: Kain and snow and generally
cloudy weather; easterly wind?, becoming
variable; low barometer; slight rise in
All that certain pile of men's
all wool suits at $1 and tlio now
very complete lino of Men's
Gray Melton Overcoats at $5,
will be gone this week.
Immediate attention is neces
sary to secure cither.
We doubt if those $2 or $3
Knee Pant Suits can bo matched
at a third more. Not many
large sizes left.
Fresh supply of 50c Scotch
Caps expected the last of the
Many good ones left among the
50c Hat slaughter, and some not
so good. You are justly en
titcd to choice. A word and a
click and you've a new hat.
Spring Samples for Custom
Suits, Pants and Overcoats ex
pected every day. It will pay
any man to wait a while. A
third off is so much more satis
factory than a third on. Then
the lit you get and the wool.
Has it been your good luck to
find the "Excelsior"' Indigo
Blue Working Shirts, open back
with detached collars 75c I
They're here now in assorted
sizes. And Jean Pants at the
rate of hundreds in a pile, and
mVEH, PIXLEY & CO..
Springfield's Only One Price
jzaoazixes run juarcu.
Laura B. Starr's "Dorcas," a magazine of
woman's handiwork, has made its appearance
for March. It has a good many interesting
points for the ladies. Price $1 a year; address
Dorcas Magazine, 872 Broadway, Xew York.
The March issue of Wide Awase, (D.
Lothrop & Co., Bost.n,) is as handsome and
interesting a3 ever. The Chautauqua supple
mtnt for Young Folks is very good.
The Chautauquan lor March is quite up to
the standard a very worthy organ ot the
Chautauqua fraternity now about a hundred
thousand strong. The price ot the Chautau
quan is $1.50 a year. Address Dr.T. L. Flood,
A copy of Packard's Short-IIand Reporter
and Amanuensis is before us. It is published
by Mr. S. S. Packard, 805 Broadway, N. Y
at $2 a year, and is an excellent specialty
magazin handsome and well conducted.
I'roTidln Acatut I'rnud.
SrmxGriELP, 111, February 24. State Sen
ator Saman, who was counted out by the
canrassing board, owing to the election
frauds in the Eighth ward, of Chicago, sub
mitted a bill today imposing penalties for
making faise election returns.
Kxoxtillk, Tenn., February 24. William
Hann, aged 80, was murdered in a house
seven miles south of Kcoxville, where he
lived with a married son. It is suspected
that the son, who lived in the old man's hou9f,
murdered his father.
Au Ineffectual llullut.
Smmscfield, 111, Ftbruary 24. One bal
lot was taken for Senator today, as follows:
Logan, 101; Washburne, 1 ; Democrat not
Scotch Distillery Humeri.
Loudon, February 24. A despatch from
Aberdeen reports the burning of the HonAc
o d distillery. The stores ot spirits were
Six 1'erHon Burnett tu Death.
Bebne, Switzerland, February 24. The
poor house at Wohlen, Canton Aargau, burn
ed last night. Six perrons perished.
KuUi, February J4. -tii n. Itra.-kpnbury
expects to reach Alu Hamd tomorrow.
INCREASE OF THE BRITISH NAVY
Seventy-Three New Vessels and
Eleven Iron-Clads Provided For.
Minnesota Adopts a High License,
at $500 a Year.
Gen. Davis Arrives at Suakim.
Washington, February 23. Senate. The
credentials of James K. Jones, Senator-elect
from Arkansas, werepresented.
Petition presented: Praying for the retire
ment of General Grant.
Bill passed: Quieting the title to Des
Moines river settlers.
The poitoffice appropriation bill was thea
taken up, and after a long debate passed. It
now goas to the House for concurrence or
non-concurrence in Senate amendments.
(Iocse. Bill introduced: Opening up the
Oklahoma lands for settlement.
The sundry civil appropriation bill was re
ported. Resolution offered: Relative to alleged dis
crimination against American products by
Senate amendments to the House Texas Pa
cific land grant bill were concurred in.
The House then went into Committee ot
the Whole on the naval appropriation bill,
which was passed.
Washington, D.C., February 24. Hocsk.
A conflict between the river and harbor
committee and another committee took place
and resulted in a victory for the first com
mittee. A motion made by Randall to pro
ceed to consideration of the deficiency bill
was defeated yeas 122, nays 139 and the
House went into committee of tke whole,
Hammond in the chair, on the river and
harbor bill, the pending of question being an
appeal from the decision of the chair, ruling
out the Henr.epan canal clause on a point ot
Columbus, February 23. Senate. Con
ference committee asked for on partial appro
Bills introduced: Amending insurance
laws; amending section 5434 so as to give a
lien for manual labor only; requiring physi
cians to have their diplomas recorded.
House. Bills introduced: Prescribing
proper labels for canned fruits; giving court
power to remove recorders or deputies and fill
vacancies; enlarging the legal rights of mar
Bill passed: Senate joint lesolution, to in
corporate all of Hamilton county within the
limits of Cincinnati was defeated.
Resolution offered: Asking congressmen to
support tke Mexican pension bill.
Latest from Egypt.
Loxpon, February 24. The arrival of Gen.
Brackenbury's column at Abu Hanied will be
welcome news, even for the British, since
there will then for a few weeks at least be a
possible line of communication with Korasko,
above the second cataract. This line is 235
miles long and there is onlv one point at
which the water" is found, but steps will
doubtless be taken to forward the stores of
water of El Murad in advance and by forced
camel marches. The distance can be covered
in nine days at best. This line will be an in
different one, bt anything is preferable to
the isolation of the past several days.
Pittsburg, February 24. This morning at
seven o'clock two loaded cars, weighing three
tons, broke their cible at Castle Shannon in
cline plane, when near the top, and came
down with frightful velocity, crashing
through the brick building at the
foot of the incline add damaging the brick
building opposite. Martin Carry, employe,
was standing on the platform when the acci
dent occurred and was struck by one at the
cars and instantly killed. Hart and Corry
were quite seriously but lot fatally hurt.
Damage to incline and building will not reach
A Test Liquor Cane.
Cuicaro, February 24. A test case of im
portance involving the legality of the Iowa
liquor law in the United States Court has been
brought by a firm of brewers at Marshall
town, Iowa, against the Northwestern Railway
Company. The claim is made that the clause
in the Iowa law which prohibits railways
from transporting liquor except to certain
persons, holding permits, is in violation of
the Federal Constitution, which vests in Con
gress the power to regulate commerce in the
Lonpon, February 24. The Queen sent an
autograph letter to Miss Gordon, sister of
General Gordon, expressing her majesty's
sympathy with the lady in her bereavement
by the loss of her brother.
At a meeting of the Carlton Club this
afternoon it was unanimously resolved that
the feeling of the club favored the assumption
of an offensive attitude by the Conservatives
in the event of their defeat on. the pendiDg
vote of censure.
The Minnesota LeglHlature Adopts a High
St. Paul, Minn., February 24. The legis
lature has adopted a high license liquor law,
making fiTe hundred dollars the figure. The
legislature has also adopted a new penal
code, similar to that of New York. The most
important change from the old code is mak.
ing banging the penalty in the first degree.
Heretofore a death sentence was left to the
option ot the court, but no judge ever ex
ercised the privilege.
jiutn Lees orr.
Cleveland, February 24. Charles D. Pad
dock, one of the oldest engineers on the X.
Y., P. k O. railroad, slipped and fell beneath
the wheels of his engine today at Mahoniog
station. Both legs were cut off, ard Pad
dock will probably die.
The lirillsh Navy.
Lonpon, Feb uary 24. Trie navy estimates
of 1880 are 12,390,500. This is intended
to meet the ordinary expenses and provide
for the construction of seventy-three new
vessels, including eleven ironclads. "
Scakiu, February 24. Gen. Davis, with
two hundred troops, armed today.
The knitting-girls of St. Louis have de-
I cided to organize a union.
The miners of the nocking Valley have de
cided to continue to strike.
Carl Schurz and Senator Lamar were the
only callers Cleveland bad on Monday.
John It. McLean was appointed receiver of
the Cincinnati and Eastern Railway Com
pany. Dawson McXiece, of Vincennes, Ind., was
killed by having his head crushed by a horse's
Seven young boys have been arrested in
Cleveland for safe-blowing. They are mem
bers of an organization.
The schooner F. K. Collins, loaded with cot
ton and iron, burned at sea off Ocean City,
Md. Crew saved.
Mrs. Ann Bowling, aged eighty-six, of Bal
timore, was burned to death by her clothing
taking fire from a stove.
Two sisters named Clay, living at Peters
burg, Va., were fatally burned by thrir
clothing taking fire ftom a stove.
The seventh victim of the accident on the
B. & O., at Four-mile, died Monday. The
loss to the express company is put at $85,000.
Mrs. Sarah Koons, of Logansport, Indiana,
committed suicide by hanging herself. The
cause is supposed to be grief for the loss of
General Horace E. Capron died in Wash
ington of a cold contracted while attending
the dedication of the ceremonies of the
Joseph Banbomne, of Vincinnes, Indiana,
was fatally burned by the explosion of a pan
of powder lrom which he was filling shells
for a gun. It was ignited by a spark from a
Frank James has been dismissed from the
charges pending against him in the Circuit
Court of Cooper county, Mo. He is wanted
on a requision from the Governor ot Minne
sota. Alvin BowliDg fatally shot John Gill at
Mt. Sterling, Ky. The latter was assisting
Marshall VVyatt to arrest Bowling. Assist
ance was necessary in order to arrest Bowling
and get him to jail.
The examining division ot the Pension De
partment, under the management of E. E.
Rathbonp, saved enough to the government
to pay the expenses and salaries of 34C special
examiners and leave the government $1,800,
000. The Egyptian Blue Book is made public
It seems that instead of boasting ot ability to
hold out for years, Gordon was beseeching
succor, and quickly, too.
The rebels-reappeared at Abu Klea on the
19tb, two days after the late battle, but were
speedily put to flight, and it is reported that
the Mabdi has turned his face towar Khar
toum. Korthcote brought up his motion of censure
of the government's Egyptian policy in the
Commons Monday, and made a masterly ar
gument. The Afghans are very uneasy at the un
usual number of Russian "travelers" at their
capital. They think they are army officers.
Russia has assured England that the advance
of troops wa3 unauthorized, and they will be
Further evidence against the alleged London
dynamiters was given Monday.
All the powers interested except Turkey
recognized the African International Asso
ciation. The Care-taker at Castle Island, Ireland,
At the Dynamite Congress in Paris the
delegates were armed. The cry was, "Down
with England; long live dynamite."
It is expected the Senate will be convened
in special session almost immediately alter
the adjournment of the present Congress, and
that such time as is not consumed in the con
sideration of appropriations will be devoted
to the discussion of the pending treaties.
Cleveland is working away vigorously on
Salem, Oregon, February 23. Governor
Moody said today that he thought he had a
right to be indignant at being placed in a
doubtful and perplexing position through the
neglect of the Legislature to do its duty.
He bad not yet carefully examined the law,
and so had not definitely determined
what his duty in this emergency was.
"But," he added, "I think that
I shall appoint. This much, bow
ever, is certain, I shall not appoint a senator
until there is a vacancy, which does not occur
until March 4. It would be impossible for
any man whom I could name at that time to
arrive in Washington to attend the short ex
ecutive session. So, unless the new president
calls an extra session, there will be no need
of a new senator until December. I shall be
in no haste to fill the vacancy."
National Law and Order Leaene.
New Yons, February 23. The third an
nual meeting of the Citizens' Law and Order
League ot the United States, began this morn
ing. Ex-Governor Long, of Massachusetts,
president of the league, was detained in
Washington, and in his absence Hon. C. C.
Bonney, of Chicago, presided. The morn
ing session was devoted to the in
tormal relation of what had been
accomplished in the various states, and those
who made addrf Sfes were Hon. A. M. Burton,
of Philadelphia; Captain Wallace, Rev. Dr.
Morris and L. I). Vail, of Philadelphia; ex
Mayjr ohnson, of Waltham, Mass.; T. T.
Carr, Newport, R. I.; General Aloczo A.ldrr,
ot Troy; Andrew Paxton, ot Chicago; Dr.
Dyman Abbott and Rev. I. P. AVarren, of
J..1 irjtEXCE riLiE.
Mr. Abram Thomas and Miss Ellen Rockel
were married on Thursday evening of last
week. A large circle of friends congratulate
the happy couple.
Mrs. Peter Miller is ill with malarial fever.
John W. Baker removes to the vicinity of
Sugar Grove in a few days.
Revival meetings are largely attended.
Thermometers registered 21 degrees below
zero last week.
Mrs. S. Shuman had a finger crushed Sun
day by a stick of wood falling on it, and for
a while serious results were feared. She is
The smile on the Democratic face expands
as the time draws neai for tho Tebels to take
charge of the government.
A druak factory is to be one of the Demo
cratic attractions here soon.
Maria Ferguson, daughter of Wm, and
Phebe Ferguson, was born December 11,
1835. Always of a mild and generous na
ture, she united with the church when but
eleven years of age, and ever since has been
a live, consistent member Although not
blessed with a strong body and gaod health,
she always was satisfied and looked upon the
bright side of everything, and at all times
had smiles and pleasant words for everybody.
We need not say that her presence will be
greatly missed at many a social gathering in
the future. She was married to Z. B. Jones
in January, 1859. To them were born three
children, two of whom, with their father, are
left to mourn the incomparable, irretrievable
loss of an indulgent mother. After ten days
of severe illness and suffering, which was
borne with the greatest patience and forti
tude, the end came, ic the morning of Feb
ruary 18, 1885, at 8 'clock. The funeral
services were conducted by Rev. C. S. Evans,
at Asbury chapel, on Friday last, and were
attended by a large congregation of grief
stricken relatives and sympathizing, sorrow
Melissa, wife ot C. M. Ropp, died at her
late residence-near the village, Saturday, Feb.
14, 1885, aged 33 years. She left a family of
three small children. Interment at Mechan
icsburg the following Monday.
Mr. Castle, a student from the Cincinnati
medical college, has bten' recuperating his
health at Wm. Van Meter's the past two
Gil. Graham moved last week to the north
ern part of the state, where he expects to
make his future borne.
N. S. Conway has so far recovered from his
recent illness as to be able to be about the
D. S. Bumgardner has rented the black
smith shep down on the old Columbus road,
and will open up shop immediately.
Charlev Tavenner will move back from the
farm to his property in the village in a few
Andrew Lellis will move iuto rooms in Mar
tin's corner property.
Mrs. Jacob Grove, jr., is quite sick with
Joseph Baldwin, Esq., has opened ont a
new harness shop in the village, with Jot
Jobes in charge.
J. Hi Page purchased tba interest of bis
partner, Mr. Jobes, in the old harness shop of
Jobes i; Page, and on last Saturday he sold
he entire stock at public aiction.
Walter Cultice is on the sick list, while
James Anderson is able to be about again.
Lloyd Fryant, of near Enon, moves this
week on to the Isaac Shaw farm.
John Weller jr. is ahjxtj removing to Ken
tucky. Others here contemplate a similar
Chris. Ziegler discovered his chimney and
roof on fire last Friday evsning in time to
put out the fire before any damage was done.
At the Peacock school Monday Washing
ton's birthday Wts celebrated by holding ex
ercises, declamations, singing, etc. Hope
well school is preparing for an exhibition.
Sunday night cottage prayer meetings are
well attended. Next Sunday the meeting
will be at Henry Lefiel's. There is Sunday
schcol at Emory church every Sunday morn
ing at 10 o'click and all are invited.
Mrs. John Wentz died Friday evening and
was buried Monday. Mrs. Wentz has been
in poor healtfi for a long time. She was the
mother of our enterprising business man, Mr.
C. H. Wentz.
Mrs. Mary Paulin, widow of N. T. Paulin,
is not expected to live at this writing.
Mr. Owen Riley, who fell out of a wagon
and was badly braised, is slowly improving.
No bones were broken.
Mrs. Dr. E. T.Collins had a slight attack ot
paralysis but is now better.
W. J. Brooks is still sick, with a slim
chance of recovery.
Early Sunday morning, as the express on
tha Little Miami railroad was going west end
nearing Stlma, five milas west of this place,
a bar of iron which had become loose flew up
in such a way as to strike the engineer on the
head, killing him instantly.
Mr. A. Bradford spent several days down
in the coal mines buying coal, as the cold
weather created quite a demand. He says
when you want to see sights take the train
with George Wheldon. What you can't see,
George will point out to you: besides, he will
treat you first-class. The O. S. railroad com
pany is fortunate to have such accommo
dating conductors as Wheldon and Al. Davis.
The freight men, when over-worked and
the mercury 10 below zero, should not switch
cars loaded with coal so hard. Saturday
night, in Eetting a car of coal on the side
track, it went with such force as to strike a
box car and knock it clean across the Pan
Handle track, turning it clear over in the
ditch, breaking the stop-post off near the
ground, and bieaking things generally.
I see the correspondents and the editor of
the South Charleston Sentinel are becoming
exercised over who shall be
presented as candidate for representative ot
Clark county. While of course we have
plenty of good, capable men, I desire to name
D. C. Putnam, of Springfield, a worthy
soldier, a man that does not seek office, but
one who would be an honor to the county
and to the soldiers as representative of one ot
the best counties in our noble state of Ohio.
Suppose we change from a laicyer to a prac
tical business man.
J. W. Walker says he dots not expect to
go into the cabinet, but he does expect to be
postmaster, and Jack says he will get it, too.
Rev. Mr. Burdsell, of the M. E. church, ad
monished his conj regation against the evil of
roller rinks in his sermon Sunday. Brother,
it is the, anly way to marry off our old
maids, as they all attend Bkating rinks and
we have a full supply "of nice girls."
The G. A. R. boys are going to give an en
tertainment soon to raise funds for helping
Saturday uorning,as Mr. Rankin went into
the lank, be was much surprised to find one
corner ot the bank on fire. The janitor had
made a fire and gone away, and it is supposed
a hot coal flew into the waste basket, burned
paper and basket into the floor, and when
Mr. Hankie opened the door tho blaze was
extending up the wall, burning a fine picture.
The damage is slight. Jim is a full team at
a fire. He formally belonged to the fire de
partment of South Charleston. Pete.
Mr. Wm. R. Forgy, who has been confined
to his room since the 10th of last October,
was enabled to spend his serenty-third birth
day and to partake of a hearty dinner with
the family of his son, Mr. C. S. Forgy, last
Sunday. Mr. Forgy has so far recovered as
to be able to move about his home with com
parative ease by the aid of crutches.
The recent cold weather, in connection
with a prevalent disease somewhat resem
bling quinsy, has given the doctors plenty tc
do in the western part of the county. Frosted
ears and feet are to be found in abundance.
The lecture at Olive Branch last Friday
night was well patronized, notwithstanding
the cold wave. Every one in attendance felt
fully repaid for the effort required to venture
out through the cold. The hearty vote of
thanks exlended to the lecturer was indica
tive of the audiense's appreciation of the lec
ture. A goodly number of public sales will be
held in this section during the spring months,
and a number of old residents expect to emi
grate to Kansas and other western states.
Mr. Ed Lowry, who spent a couple of
months in Florida, and visited the New
Orleans exposition, returned to his home last
Dr. Orton, of Ohi State University, will
deliver his lecture, "The New Agriculture,"
at Olive Branch, Friday evening, March G.
The high school will give a literary enter
tainment at O. B., Friday evening next, Feb.
27, to which an admittance fee of ten cents
will be charged. The following is the pro
Salutatory Poets' lfomsi .-...-.-.Nellie Barns
Reeitition Loagfelloir and LowelI.Loale forgy
lUclution The Goblet of Life Ellis Koch
Esuj Cluucer Ella Griuo
Keclutlso Paul Bevere's KldtCora Sultzbaugh
Oration The Uodtrn Poets Willis Wise
Kecititlon The Old Clock on the btiirs
.... ....... ......Anna McCIeary
Essay Spensr..- ......... tffle Forgy
Kecltatloo The Wreck ot the Hesperns .
. Effie Quick
Declamation The Present Crisis Frank Aston
Declamstlon Morlturi SaluUinu. Bert Poner
Recitation The Famine Emma Mcllain
Esay Shakespeare HHW .....Ada Laaime
Declamation Washington's Farewell Addiess
r .Ilatrr Klllieiler
Oration Washington . Will Wallace
A FABCI CAST Or CIIA&ACTEBS :
Editor . . Ed. Forgy
Grampus........ -.................. Bert Dsner
Miss blowilp-...-.. ............. r.ma McClala
Printer's Devil Frank Herr
Parson btuflsom .. . .......- John Davis
First lady........... Berths Lamme
Second lady... . ....... .-..-Laura Mcliltoa
Third lady Clara Harntsh
rat O'Batwr . Ben). Witiver
.Mrs. Trotter fclla Grlsso
Policeman Willis Wise
Alderman OTool Will Ganti
Some tour weeks ago tt was our pleasure to
notice that Mr. Jos. Baker, in company with
others from this vicinity, were going to visit
the New OrleanB Exposition. It is now our
painful duty to announce bis death alter four
short weeks. He left in a poor state of
health, became sick at the Exposition and
was delirious four or five days before he got
home. All that triends could do for him wsb
done. Several physicians ware in attendance,
but all to no avail. He passed, peacefully
away Sunday night between six and seven
o'clock. In losing Mr. Jos. Baker
this community loses one ot its best citi
zens. He was a man strictly honest and
honorable in all the walks of life aad he will
be missed by many sorrowing friends. He
leaves a wife and three grown daughters to
mourn his loss. The tuLeril services will be
held Wednesday at one p. m. at the family
Rev. Mr. Sparr, of Urbana, 0 presiding
elder of this district of the M- E. church held
a quarterly meeting in the M. E. charch here
Saturday and Sunday. He preached three
able discourses. While here he was the guest
of Wm. T. Hill.
Rev. Mr. Hamilton, of Yellow Springs, be
gan a series of revival meetings in the M. E.
church here, Sunday night, which will con
Mr. Wm. Fryant, of Cedarville, was the
guest of his brother, Samuel Fryant, of this
place, over Sunday.
Mr. John Collier, of New Carlisle, O., was
in town Monday.
Mr. Nicholas Forbeck and daughter Minnie,
of Springfisld, Ohio, spent Sunday in Enon.
Mr. George Shroufe, of Medway, Ohio, has
again moved back to Enon, and is living in
Mrs. Athy's property om West Pleasant street
Mrs. Jolly, of Xenia, Ohio, a former citi
zan of Enon, will soon move back to her
property in this place.
Mr. A. A. Stephens and wife, of Spring
field, O., speat Sunday with his parents, Mr.
and Mrs. C. D. Stephens, of this place.
Mr. Samuel Fryant will soon leave for Mis
sissippi, where he has purchased a home near
Miss Maggie Fuller has been visiting in
Allentown the last two weeks.
J. I. C.
His Sarah Althca Hill.
Some few years ago nn eccentric
Frenchman died possessed of a million
or so. He had no heirs here, but there
were a score of nephews and nieces in
France. When his will was opened it
was found that the old man had provid
ed liberally for all, and to Sallie Hinch
lcy. a former well-known actress, who
had lived here many years, ho had left
an atimiitvof $200 a" mouth to be paid
her so long as she lived. But Sallie
pooh-poohed this provision. She be
'an suit at once, and claimed to be the
wife of the old man, and to have dow
er rights, and all that, and she made
sucha hubbub as to scare the French
heirs out of their wits, and they gladly
comprouneil. auio iook cou.uyu m
cash, in lieu of her annuity, and $100-,
000 in cash besides. She now lives in
line style here, and though no longer a
young woman bv any means, is attract
ive and leads a'cpiiet and respectable
life. San Francisco Bulletin.
. m si
Persons who read the death notices
in the newspapers from day today must
observe that whenever the weather
grows suddenly cold the mortality
among old people greatly increases.
Tiiia ovnrs sn nftn that it is hardlv a
coincidence. Indeed, it seems to bear
out fully the assertion of many physi
cians, that tho secret of long life after
three-score years and ten is to keep
warm. Xew York Tribune.
WIT ANI HUMOi:.
The Uurlington Uawkeye thinks the
most striking thing about roller-skating
is the lloor.
A Pittsburg (Pa.) man makes his
living by peddling hot water. In a
prohibition State the sheriff would get
lots of valuable pointers by following
that man up. Burlington Free I'ress.
The desperate extremities to which
devotees of roller skating are carried is
shown in the case of a young lady s.t
Watertown who lias traded her en
gagement ring for a $7.50 pair of
skates. Ar. 1'. Com. Advertiser.
A monument to Schiller is to bo
erected in Lincoln Park, Chicago, and
the contract has been let to parties in
Stuttgart for .3,200. Poor Schiller!
Ho never heard of Chicago, and very
few people in Chicago ever heard. of
him. X. O. IHcayune.
"Smart" and "crisp" are the latest
cant terms in London, tho former
meaning fashionable, "high-toned," or
exclusive, and the latter signifying an
arrival at the highest apex of "style.
Thus "smart" people are the "upper
ten," and a "crisp" woman is one
clothed in the extremity of the mode.
"Are you aware," asked the parson,
"that you will have to answer for every
idle word at the last day?" "Well."
replied the trifler, "there's comfort in
that. The trial will last so long that
eternity will have nearly passed, and
therefore one's punishment won't be
so very severe." Boston Transcript.
Professor Huxley insists that stock
ings of the same size, if of different
colors, are not of the same size at all.
He might as well tell us that stockings
of the same color, if of different sizes,
arc not of the same color at all. It is
not known how long the Professor's
mind has been in this latncntablecondi
tion. Xorristown Herald.
They were gliding over the glare sur
face of the ice together, making grace
ful sweeps with the glittering blades of
their "clubs." "I'll dare you to make
the fancy figures on ice that I will,"
said Reginald. "I'm quite sure, Regy,
my boy, that. you could beat me hand
somely at that," replied Algernon.
"The fancy figures I make on the ice
generally depend on the particular
plaid pattern there is on my trousers."
And he immedtatclv illustrated. Hart
Friend "I should think you would
know the prices of all your drugs by
this time." Druggist "Why, I do, of
course." "Then how docs it happen
that after you filled that prescription
for that gentleman you spent such a
time looking over that book before you
could tell him tho price? You were
trying to lind out the cost of the drugs,
weren't you?" "O, no. I was looking
over a commercial directory to find out
how much ho could afford to pay."
Candor was a merit the Chancellor
Kent possessed in an eminent degree,
and when upon one occasion he in
formed an individual he detested that
ho was pleased to meet him, it caused
a friend to express surprise that he
should so diverge from his known
frankness and sincerity to express
pleasure at meeting such a man.
"That is all right, my dear sir," re
plied the jurist, in his quiet, easy wav.
"I was glad to meet him, but I 'should
have been very sorry if he was going
our way." Albany Express.
"Did you advertise for a man to do
clipping?" asked a rural individual
who had invaded the editor's sanctum.
"H'm," said the Archimedes of the
printing ollice; "you don't look like a
clipper. What have you been working
at? The intruder toyed with the of
fice shears and replied: "I've been
shearing sheep." The etlitor turned to
his yellow paper again and murmured:
"You can get a chance at tho brokers'
offices down in State street; twelve
dollars and a half a clip."
A genius has invented a cushion with
a spiral spring, to be worn by skaters
where it will do the most good. When
a skater who wears one of these con
trivances sits down unexpectedly and
in italics, as it were, the spring throws
him rijrht on to his feet again, before
he is fully aware that there has been
an accident. Tho other night a young
man provided with one of these inven
tions fell a little too hard, and the spi
ral spring reversed him so violently
that the rebound pitched him forward
and broke his nose. He will sue the
inventor for S10.0.0 damages. Xorris
"Can you seo the stage perfectly
well?" asked a geutleman at the play,
leaning forward to address the young
lady in front. "Why, yes, sir, per
fectly," she replied, turning with some
surprise. "Nothing at all in front to
obstruct your view?" he persisted anx
iously. "So, sir, nothing," she said,
smiling pleasantly at his evident inter
est in her welfare". But the next minute
he had an admirable illustration of the
changeability of woman's temper for
she flounced around indignantly and
angrily tossed her disdainful head when
he murmured politely: "I congratulate
you." Somerville Journal.
Two young ladies entered a cigar
store and one of them said timidly:
"Have you any choice cigars, sir? Want
them for a present." "O yes. Miss,"
replied the tobacconist, "we have any
choice you like from a cent a piece up."
"I think 1 will take some of tho 1-cent
ones, then, if they are choice. I had
no idea that choice cigars were so
cheap. Won't Charlie be. delighted?"
she said to her companion as they left
the store. "Poor boy! He is so fond
of a choice cigar, and they will taste
all the better," she added, with a little
blush, "for having come from me."
X. Y. TiJiies.
There is in one of the schools of this
city a mischievious young American of
African descent who got into trouble
yesterday. He had violated one of the
rules, and his teacher concluded that
his offense was grave enough to merit
discipline at the hands of tho Principal.
Taking a firm hold of the younggentle
man, tho teacher accordingly started
for the room of tho dread administra
tor of punishment. The young chap
held back, began to cry, and finally
cried out in piteous tones: "O, Miss
, don't take me up stairs, p-1-e-a-s-e
don't. If you don't take mo up there
I'll pray for you tonight!" She didn't
take him up. Altoona Tribune.
"What is the population of tho world,
papa?" asked 6-year-old Edith, who
was makinsr up sums for herself on a
new slate. "You must not interrupt
me now, Edith," said her father, who
was writing at the same table. "Go
to Miss Smith," referring to her gov
erness. Her father was not so busy,
however, but that he heard and was
amused by her saying in a low tone
soon after: "I know how I can find
out myself. I'll look in the back of the
geography for the United States and
for Europ. and then I can add Annt
Mary's baby and Aunt Jessie's baby,
and that will give it to me exactly."
Speaking of mathematical jokes,
some years azo I was witness to a
MURPHY A. BRO.
48 & 50 Limestone,
Have just opened some choice
All New and Choice,
and Prices Low for
Also Just Received.
curious wager between Charles Backus
and Joseph Murphy, the comedians.
The latter had told a story, which I do
not remember, illustrated by the cu
rious action of a number of wooden
toothpicks peculiarly arranged and set
on tire. "Show me that again," said
Backus, "and I'll bet a bottle of wine
I can travel free to San Francisco by
just telling that story to the conductors
on the way." "Done!" exclaimed
Murphy, and the two men of the pro
fession" who are popularly supposed
never to have spent a penny for wine,
shook h nds to bind the wager. Backus
lost it. I a-ked him the circumstances.
"Why," he exclaimed, "Murphy had
just worked his way over the roads by
showing it to them; and every one I
spoke to about it said: 'Chestnut.' I
consider that Murphy took undue ad
vantage of an innocent man." When
I repeated th s to Murphy ho main
tained that ho had learned tho trick
from a conductor, and added: "There
ain't nothing Charley Backus can teach
Teaching; Dicknm and Leech lion- to
One year, before a Twelfth Night
dance, when Charles Dickens's two
daughters were quite tiny girls, he took
it into his head that they must teach
him and his brother John Leech the
polka. The lessons were begun as
soon as thought of, and continued for
some time. It must have been rather a
fnnny sight to see the to small chil
dren teaching those two men Mr.
Leech was over G feet to dance, all
four as solemn and staid as possible.
As in everything he undertook, so in
this instance did Charles Dickens throw
his wDole heart into tin dance. Xo
one could have taken more pains than
he did, or have been more ea:rer and
anxious or more con eieniious about
steps and time than he was. And often,
after tho lesson wa over, he would
jump up and have a praeiice by him
self. When the night of tin- party came
both tho small dancinir u istresses felt
anxious and nervous. I know that tho
heart of one beat very fa-t when tho
moment for starting oil" arrived. But
both pupils acquitted themselves per
fectly, and were the admiration of .11
beholders. Sir Roger de Coverley was
always the finale to tho?e dances, and
was a special favorite of Charles Dick
ens, who kept it up as long as possible,
and was as unflagging in his dancing
enthusiasm as was his own Fizziwig in
his. The Cornhill Magazine.
Another Fattier Wanted.
One of our wholesale merchants has
a bright little daughter who is about
six years of age. She is one of those
little children who wants to know
everything and can't conceive how a
great many things happen. Sho ac
costed her mother the other day as
"Mamma, were people always on
"No, my child."
"Then how did they get here?"
"Our forefathers were made of
"Did I have four fathers. Ma?"
"Yes," replied the mother, not no
ticinc what the little girl meant.
"Well, then, I'd like to get acquaint
ed with the other three, and then may
be I'd get more spending money. This
5 a Ive got now is awful close sine
an. 1. ' EtansvtlU Argus.