choice MISCELLANY A Marvaloua Magician. There has been discovered a Juggler I samed JoaeSy, who outdoes all tho ether conjurers, says his discoverer, a YJ lie. Abbott Ho performs what other Mipf""" nave only urcamcu 01 ac complishing. With his card tricks the spectators may bring their own packs and choose the cards freely. No threads are used, nor Is there any visi ble connection with the goblet that contains the pack, and yet any card will rise at Jose CTt's command at any time. The enigmatic cube Is first a one Inch cube which Joseffy produces from the air, and It Is then seen to grow while In his hands to a two Inch, a four Inch and a nine Inch cube. This he now sets In full Tlew upon his table, where It Is seen to grow slowly to a size of FOR THE CHILDREN A Great Clock. Perhaps the boys and girls know that correct time for all Europe Is fur nished by the observatory at Green wich. England, says the Chicago News, which Is also the place from which longitude Is reckoned. It U natural, therefore, that the observatory clock should be tended with the utmost care and that It should never be allowed to get either too fast or too slow. But no piece of mechanism Is perfect, and this great clock If allowed to run on un tended would soon wander far enough I away from sun time to cause a good j deal of confusion and trouble. As It Is. I they never permit It to get more than one-tenth of a second too fast or too I slow, a fraction of time that Is almost Inappreciable. Of course so small an i Another Scar. "I had a mighty narrow escape yes terday," said the timid man. "A sci entific man informed me that my well had germs in It." "And you drank some of the water?" "Worse than that. 1 went to Investi gate, fell In and was nearly drowned." Minneapolis Journal. Cheated of Her Right. "I do not lllto to cook," said aha. "For sowing I've no taste. I have trim ankles, as you see. And I've a slender waist. 1 know I'd soon become the rare If I were only on the stage. Typewriting I detest," she said. "It's such confining- work. I'd hate to have to earn my bread And butter as a clerk. I Just despise this cashier's cage. Twould be so lovely on the stage!" Chicago Record-Herald. three feet six Inches. The wizard now ' error could not be corrected by moving lifts this cube, from beneath which steps a beautiful young lady, who starts to run up the stage. The master snaps his fingers, when she instantly stops and disappears in a sheet of flame la full Tlew of the spectators, sad In her place Is seen a gigantic bou quet of real roses, which are plucked and distributed to the audience. Don don Family Herald. Tirod Telephone Wires. "Dent nse that booth. That phone's , tired.'' called oat the brisk attendant. "A lady has been talking over that wire for the last ten minutes. Take the one next to it; that one. has had a rest. You'll get a much better connec tion If yon do." The man took the girl's advice and got unusually satisfactory service. When be was through and was paying the bill he asked what she meant by saying that the other telephone was "tired.' the hands of the clock, so an electro magnet Is made use of ro do It The magnet is near the pendulum, which It attracts the least bit when the current of electricity la turned on. Tho car rent Is so timed that it delays the pen dulum when the clock is fast and quickens It when the clock Is slow. In this way a few thousand swings of the pendulum will correct the error of one tenth of a second. Crass Questions. A game played by any number, who sit in a circle. Each pats a question to his right hand neighbor and re ceives an answer. Each of the players In turn then repeats alond the ques tion that his left hand neighbor ask- The Way She Dees It. "llrs.Clyiner Is a model housewife In one way." "What to thatr "By dint of giving her dinners, teas and receptions to the reporters she manages always to keep her house In print." Baltimore American. I A First Class Front. Though you feel like laying right oa the slab When you've taken a solar plexus Jab, It's the proper thing and a dead ssm stunt To try to put up a first class front. You've troubles, of course, but so'o your psl. And you needn't blub like a baby gal, For you won't get sympathy, but the shunt. Unless you put up a first class front. Kansas City Time. A Boo si la Shipbuilding. Reports from the big shipyards of Scotland state that the marked decline in shipbuilding noted for a year past has abated and that orders for new ships have come to hand In such num bers as to portend a speedy revival of the Industry. A similar awakening has been felt In Germany and France, and the depression of the early months of the year has given way to cheer. A ship shortage would be a great drawback to international trade. Rec ord crops make more bulk to haul re gardless of the market selling price, and If any great country suffers from poor crops the tonnage of the sea is Increased. It is In the nature of things j that the ocean carrying trade must I grow so long as the world is at peace, and it is a sign of confidence that ship owners are now willing to branch out in the face of the general commercial reaction. London's Feeble Minded Children. There are eighty-four schools In Lon don for the education of children who are not included under the extreme term "Idiots or imbeciles," bat are "feeble minded and defective." They are attended by 0,000 children, of whom about two-thirds learn some useful manual work, whllo the rest are hopeless and require permanent custodial care. London Telegraph. THE ONLY MAirUFACTUHKR OF HARNESS In Honcsdnle, carries also the Best Line and Largest Assortment of HORSE FURNISHING GOODS In the County. Hp i l the town's most extensive dealer in Trunks, Traveling Bags, Valises, &c. ed of him and the answer that his right hand neighbor gave. The Answer Finally. In order that the result may be more Interlocutor To eliminate the usual amusing It shonld be agreed before- tedious circumlocutory repetition, Mr. hand what kind of questions should be Bones, once for all, when is a door not a al-cl ftar fnatntlrv tt miT he singed la rtnnr? "Why, telephones get tired Just the tnat la t0 a8k WUy his neighbor Bones-To paraphrase the proverbial same as Dsunle or animals," said tho girt. "If yon had used that other wire as soon as that lady dropped It you wouldn't have bad satisfactory serv ice at all. After a few minutes' rest It win be all right. I know that phones get tired, but I'm no scientist and can't tell why. Why don't I start a society for the prevention of cruelty' to tele phones? Xow. say. If I should start one I'd get a lot of telephone operators who'd belong. But with a good many of them it's not the phone that gets tired so much as the one who runs the switchboard." Exchange. Consumption and tho Telephone. The panic recently created on the subject of the assumed danger lurking In the transmitter of the telephone Is not precisely new. It Is but the devel opment of a fear which has caused misgiving for some years. On the sup position that various germs of disease probably collect In the receiver and transmitter of the Instrument, at any rate In public telephone stations, some medical alarmists have thrown out suggestions that antiseptics, both In a 'dry state and In solution, should be applied for the safety of the telephone user. The recent dictum goes one step further. Inasmuch ns It Is now an es- does certain things, real or fictitious, reply, Mr. Hamilton Thus. B asked C, on his right hand. 1 dor. Fuck, "Why do you sit so near the fire?" C answers, "Because I like the heat" A asks B, "Why did you fall In the water?" and he replies, "Because I went too near the edge." When It Is B's turn he must tell A's question and C's answer, thus: "Why did you fall In the water?" "Because I like the beat." and so on. The game Is often played, by giving the right hand neigh bor a predicament and the left hand a solution and then telling the predica ment that comes from the left and the solution from the right. The game Is then called "predicaments." when It's a burnt- The Game of Hearts. She toys with hearts, and yet she plays Her hand with utmost care, That not one card shall slip In wrong And lose the chance to pair. And when this game of hearts Is done She has her well earned token. She's broken all the hearts she could Before her own Is broken. New Tork Times. All goods are bought direct from the Manufacturers, and having had Forty Years experience in the business, we believe that weenngiveour customers rare bargains (or their money. The Old Stand, South Main St., Honesdale. Although Castle Garden has long been used for an aquarium and Ellis Island, oat hi New Tork bay, has tak en its place as a funnel for receiving and distributing the stream of Immi grants, people still speak of Castle Garden as the gateway where aliens enter the new world. When a man Is fined $50 for kissing his wife on Sunday It Is time for the race track Issue to retire as a crying public grievance. Some sinners knock themselves vi cariously while knocking others, for t they generally get theirs out of the I rcboufd , Why Corn Pops. The making of starch for stiffening clothes will help us to understand why i popcorn bursts open when exposed to heat. When the grains of starch are put into water and boiled they lose their powdery nature and blend with the water Into a pasty mass. The ef fect on each starch granule is a soften ing and a considerable increase In Its bull: and finally its rupture and diffu sion through tho water. Now, we cannot see the Inside of the grain of corn just when It Is about to burst, l.iit I,, rlnm tf n-t.nl- 1 1 ., 11 1 ,r 11 In 1, muilMivu 1.11.1 l"'-'--"- fnnloa of slnroli If Is llk-nlr flmr 99 . 1 ntl.iiAjiMfliilema it CHTYin. Not Enough Room. "Brown Is the most narrow minded man I ever met." "So?" "Yes. Whenever two thoughts get Into bis head at the same time they bump Into each other." Judge. style Is what makes a man proud of his Clothes. If you take any pride in your personal appearance you do yourself an injustice bv defarrincr nn inspection of our late arrivals in stylish garments. DO NOT FORGET TO CALL We have the Goods and are onVy too glad to show them. One great American puzzle is to find the relation between what Bryan says on Monday and what Bryan says on Saturday. The unemployed asked for jobs, and Colonel Bryan handed them out a copy of his platform. 1 LOOK ! LOOK ! Men's Suits, - 35 00 to $35 00 boy's Suits. - -Children's Suits, ftlen s Uvercoats, Boy's Overcoats, Children's " Men's. Boy's Caps, 25 to 00 to 1 50 to 5 00 to 3 00 to 1 50 to 6 30 15 5 1 00 00 00 00 00 50 km urn crn cb tlXmwt J St f a--e " Woolen Golf Glove? for men. women :iml I'hlldren. - A full line of Trunk. Krew-sult Cases and HamlhapK. BREGSTEIN BRITS niothfers and Gent's Furnishers UHL.Uwll.in UIIU O, HONESDALE. PA. Oil. Did You Ever Notice? laugh, ye merry punsters, because woman cannot nail! But there are always two sides to every little tale. It may be woman cannot nail or tack to hold things tight. But what man In creation can pin any thing Just right? Pittsburg Post. Spanish King to Visit Portugal. Lisbon. Nov. King Alfonso of Spain will make a visit Incognito to King Manuel at Villa Vlcosa. tlon, have been found alive and In ro bust condition hi the instrument. It Is quite natural In view of such a find that a feeling of alarm might seize hold of the more nervous. British Med ical Journal. Illuminated Projectiles. The French navy has recently begun experiments with the luminous shells employed for a year past In America. These shells have a hollow In tho rear end containing fireworks powder, which is Inflamed as the shell quits the gun and leaves a luminous trail In the air, enabling the gunner at night to follow the course of his projectile and deter mine whether or not It readies Its ob ject. Without some device of this kind It Is very difficult In firing over the sea in the darkness to ascerlain whether the range Is too long or too short. In the daytime a jet of water where the shell falls tells tho story. Youth's Companion. The Periscope. Commandant Soulie de Cenac of tho French Legion of Honor has designed a pince-nez. or eyeglass, called a peri scope, which enables the wearer to see at the same time on all sides and even behind. This Is Ingeniously effected by means of reflections. At the same time the glasses are so constructed as to correct myopia and other errors of vision. A use for the Instrument that the inventor did not think of has been revealed to him by deaf persons era ploying It. They say that It Increases their safety by enabling them to per ceive the approach of dangers of the grain gets hotter nnd hotter the moisture lu the cells softens them first, and then when the heat Iiecomes too great for the moisture to remain In the fluid state the latter suddenly turns to steam, and the now plastic starch of the grain expands In every direc tion. And ns It expands it loses its moisture and thus becomes firm and brittle again. The Holland Primrose. There is u beautiful flower in Hol land called tho evening primrose. It has escaped from cultivation and now grows wild lu many places. The plant U about five feet lu height and Is cov ered with flowers of a brilliant yellow color. A traveler who came upon a field of these primroses shortly before sunset describes what he calls the dra matic effect made by them. It is at that hour that the flowers open and as ho approached the field they all opened at once and so suddenly that It seemed as If a magic wand had touched the land and covered It with n golden sheet The Only Way. "It's dangerous to go swimming aft er meals." "Yes. But seals and sharks and such cau't get meals any other way." Cleveland Leader. The Long ?.nd the Short. "Such stupidity," said oM Hippo "Is enough to make any une holler: t Just had to laugh Wn-r. the spotted giraffe Said he'd loan me his h!sh linen collar.' Chicago News. His Loss. , He had no use for knockers Only optimists could win And when Opportunity knocked one day He wouldn't let her in. St. Louis Post-Dispatch. She Would Never Rise. "I heard today Miss Bond's grand father was a baker." "He must have been a poor one." "Why do you say that'" "She Is so heavy." Sr. Paul Pioneer Press. Instructive. "Your friend is a literary "authority, is he"; Has ho ever done constructive work?" "Xo; destructive, ne's a book re viewer." Outlook. Feed 'Em. If Cupid's darts Don't touch men's hearts. Why. then, dear girls. Try Cupid's tarts. Kansas City Times. foe R umann otel Improvement. Now when some foeman bids you squirm A paraphrase polite is heard: The long and scientific term Has shamed tho short and ugly word. Washington Star. A Tactful Reason. "Would you call her good looking?" "Nope." "Why not?" "Her husband might get jealous." Cleveland Plain Dealer. ESTAURANT JOHN H. HEUMANN, Proprietor, MAIN STREET, HONESDALE. $ OPPOSITE UNION DEPOT Hints For Girls. A very unique and cunning little pincushion may be made by following the directions here given: Take a bf.by'8 pink or blue finely woven stock ing and cut a pasteboard sole to fit it. After you have shaped the bottom of the stocking by placing the sole InBlde It All It to within a few Inches of the top with sawdust. Tie the top togeth er with white ribbon, making a full bow or rosette of the ends. The cush ion will stand on the dresser, and pins may be stuck into It from the tiny toe More Expensive. "Two can live as cheaply as one." "Can they?" "Don't you think so?" "Depends ou whether It is a wife or on afflnltyV Retired. ( Bald a quaint young fellow named Sunny, "Perhaps It will strike you quite funny. But when a man goes to bed With his cash 'neath his head Has he retired on his money?" New York Press. CITIZEN RATES which their ears give them no warn-1 t0 tue top. lng. 8teady Coin. Work For Goats. ! Place a smooth strip of paper upon Farmers In the vicinity of Law- the corner of a table. Upon this care renccburg. Ind., have found that a uily stand upright a silver half dollar, herd of goats will clear the under-' BJ" & ""'e practice you will acquire brush from a farm In a few mouths ne knack drawing the paper from and do a good Job at moderate cost. 1 lneath the coin without disturbing For tho last five years a herd of forty lle position of the latter. All that is goats lias been eating and working ! required Is a swift, steady Jerk lu a h. nn.l In that time the anlmaU direction parallel with tho edge of th have chanced owners ten times. As n. ut Tou w' U by no Got Him All Right. I Guide (as city sport blazes away at I deer) Did you get him? Cholly Scaver You bet I did. Can't j you bear blm yelling and cursing? 'Puck. The Citizen Human Life $1.50 Causa and Effect. He's growing cold unto his loves. For Christmas draweth near. And ha whom beauty frowneth on Hath not so much to fear New York Evening Sun. 8ure Sign. Gunner Did your uncle reach a green old age? Guycr I should say so. He bought a green hat. Kausas City Times. soon as their owner discovers that there Is nothing left on his farm for ( the goats to rcea on nut goou grass means easy of accomplishment Dancing Paper Dolls. they are lent or sold to another farm-1 warm slightly a sheet of glass and er for a similar nurnosc. I Ptace n two I", making a bridge , er for a similar purpose. Blind Bookmakers. The blind mako books for the blind, as is illustrated in the Ziegler Mag xlne, now printed In New York. Ono of the proofreaders is a blind man who Is working bis way through Columbia college. Ono ctrl who is deaf, dumb a4 blind takes the greatest delight In ber work, and ber mother says that BBtB she beftn to work for the Ztogter aft nrrer tnw iir to smile between the two. Cut out some small paper dolls and put them under the class. Itub the glass and the Q gores Aill dance. Tha Draamy Dog. A lttUe dot Who had a tall Bat on a log And WtttesMd a. sn&U. A ktod of bur Utopla. If each man were to all men What he wants all men to be To him, then what a happy And a joyful world we'd seal New Orleans Times-Democrat. That's i4.a oLbi And took About tha 8lze of It. Hyker Money Is a conundrum. Pyker What's the answer? Hyker Everybody has to give it tip, Chicago News. The Citizen, 'Human Life, qZ.UU and Tribune Fanner. The Citizen, j Human Life, pZ.Z5 I and Tri-Weekly Tribune The Citizen. Human Life, $ZZj i and Cosmopolitan (THE CITIZEN, Human Life, ITrlbune Oft 7C Farmer, J and Cosmopolitan a pinch. Qraat Labor Saver. Indays of old tha self made aaaa wBe own bora load would blow, Hat stow ha buys a phonocraph. Winds 'I up and lets It co. l.ouU PoM.DIspa'ch. THE CITIZEN, Tri-Weekly 7 aa Tribune, ?pd Osmorcn!tn beven Human Life Stars pf nwm 0k p c LowU Libby Fhiiupt Morris Behuco Potterion RusmII A Celebrity! born every day. Who Uhe? What is his story? How linn he live, work, play? What abnuthisfanrly, his frien1I4.l1.') fancies? Uead HUMAN Lrl'K. ill exclusive field U interesting article:! about people. HUMAN I.ll'i: nmrsliuU the world's relet Titles of tho ilay toKetlicr and kIvi- them f you in p'ctursotul stw c ur.drn llc'.d slor.s. HUMAN 1.1. 'i: iJ ."lately oriKir.nl. There H 111 f ' r r-.s' . -'re tle.i'.In;; with people ci-V- . '. . Jt 11 I'd fr "i cover n carer v it 1 h:jr ! i"ul 1 ' turcr.o:' pc-pb and v:ll ks;p t!ia e. t - I. y pf ntjdns t the nctions nnd d '.s of nil the prun.inent people of the entiro W01IJ. It has tho :r ulvst y. r'tr In this cecntry of visroroaj, vrile. DUitsent. forciftd.p.'quant nncll&h.iit Iti c'.itor.lii-tt'.L'f, Alfred Henry l-euKtliocauitlccjritrsliutr.rt Jl .; Saturday Kvcnlnir I'o.U, Ccnicpolitan, fcuccesj end many other rir're;nu.t!v periodicals; tho nulhnr of "Tho 1'reUdent." "The boss," " Wolfvllle," "Andrew Jackson," ond other lxoks of story uriJ udver.turc, every ono scintiilatlne with strerrnns life. Jlr. Lewis' finger are upon tl'o public pulse 1 hekitov. j what the public- wants, m:d ha rives them running-over measure: his hncmlcdse of men and thlncsU as wide us t :e wide, wide world. HUMAN LIl'H is up-to-date in lu fresh, original matter from tho beat authors and best artists, end filled to overflowing with human Interest. You will find the great and the almost irreat. the famous and sometimes infamous, described in HUMAN LIl'K, with a knowl. edge of their little humanities that Is cncroisinir. HUMAN UPC has a peculiar style and method of Its own, which gets the reader into intimate relation with the subject written about. It may be said here, on these pages, you almost meet the people. You get them at dote range, off the stage," as It weret Ku see all their tittle mannerisms and secu rities, and you bear them tell good anec dotes 1 rou laugh with them, you And rnt rwwt t-1 Js ,wf fe-b's ip1 . lnMrfii -r.d"b.ttvt halve.. Amonc tho well kno-n writers of tie day who contr.butj n HUMAN LU'll are Charles Hd-.vard Russell, Ynnco Thompson. Upton Sinclair. H.wM Graham I'hilllps, Klbert Hubbard. Ilrand Wliitlotk. Havid Helascn, Clara M crR Ada I'Mteri:i, Laura Jean Libby, Nauon 'f obey end taasy others. IICMAN I.IPK h unique in that Its prin cipal aim Is to tell truthful, f.-uciratfn-r. live, up-to-date human tales about real human people rlc'i p' pic vor people sood peo. ple--bad peopk people who htvj acco:-.:-' piished tlilnui people who are trylnir to uccomptish things people ynu want to know about people that everybody want- to know about. HUMAN LH-n K'ves yon thrt intimats knowledge of what uch people Ju.ve done ore doing what they say how end wIito they live nnd lots of first-hand Ir.f -rraation that you cannot lind elsewhere, HUMAN LII'K IsalaritoiHintratedMag. nilne with colored cover well worth a dollar a year. All About -Human Life