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Standard Oil's Xfuslnoss Machine. It is well not )A let our surprise nnd Indignation over the illegitimate opera tions of Standard OH blind our eyes to tlio marvelous business metliods of the company. It has not only driven out competition here, but has successfully competed with the Ions established and perfected systems of the old world. Mere greed and bludgeoning could not have given Standard Oil the complete ascendency It enjoys today. Mr. Rockefeller's story of how the legitimate advantages of the company were wrought out Is a feature of the history which many American busi ness men may learn from. It is a rec ord of keen business Intellect working patiently nnd persistently. More ex pense nnd labor were put into legiti mate work than Into illegitimate, and competitors were outgeneraled rather by doing better work than by trickery. Stripped of its high finance superstruc ture, there remains a model business machine In Standard Oil. In saylug that ho hasn't written n single name on the cabinet slate as yet nnd that not one of the cabinet posi tions has been offered to any one Mr. Tuft invites a campaign of buttonhol ing that must be far from ngrecnble to n president elect. The assurance Is certain to redouble the activities of the friends of candidates. He would better let the gucssers go ahead making slates, the more the merrier, nnd keep the candidates busy also guessing on the real thing. Tom Johnson says he still has a thousand fights In him. If he makes that prophecy good now that ho Is poor, ho will doubtless enjoy the battle better than when ho had a bank roll to fall back upon. It Is almost a truism in this country that "you can do any thing with money." Hut it takes sand to "do anything" without money. The "best seller" In fiction is beaten to a frazzle and likewise to n pulp as a money maker by the white paper Industry, according to the revelation of paper trust profits brought out at the tariff hearing. There Is time even In a short session of congress to pass a law prohibiting the announcement of an International marriage unless the whole crowd makes affidavit that it's n go. Some one should remind Admiral Evans that it Is n bit reactionary just nt this time for an old sea dog to Abandon waterways for railroading. Lager Beer Ale and Porter. TSio Nolsso Anent tlio Tariff-. President Elect Taft urges the- con sumers to make themselves hoard on tariff revision. Hosts of them sup posed that they were doing that by de livering their minds ns to the Chicago platform nnd candidate in November. They made less noise in that way than they would be likely to should all get together before the ways nud means committee. A member of the commit tee has said that he expects "some body to make the fur fly" when the re flslon light is on. There arc consum ers who would like to let fly chain shot, solid shot, lyddlto shells, or what ever Is best at smashing armored things, before the new schedule Is fixed up for good. And there's the rub agreeing uponn tariff schqdulo that will drown the several volumes of different kinds of noise. General Hancock was laughed at for saying in the campaign of 1SS0, "The tariff is a local Issue." He hart been swinging around the circle as n soldier candidate on n revision plat form. Every fresh swing brought him face to face with a new brand of noise, one community shouting to havo i this on the free list nnd that taxed to ' the limit, while a neighboring section shouted for exactly the reverse. If the body of consumers today could drop j In at a tariff committee hearing for Just one session they would feel like asking Mr. Taft to put the tariff up to 1 real experts, If ho knows any then go ' Ing home to resume consuming. I The two or three ellgibles left in tho ('whole country who arc not mentioned as possibilities for Taft's cabinet may j bo boys he tried to lick at school and , couldn't. Some folks think Roosevelt could have had n lot of fun breaking the "solid south." Rut tho south has not been heard from in that connection since along about ISfil-.". A prominent Georgian asks that the letter and spirit a if the constitution be applied to y electoral college also. ! Next! '.V: Grant Stevenson, the Edinburgh sculptor, lias completed a statue li bronze of Robert Hums, which will be shipped to Milwaukee for erection In one of tho public parks. The statue, which is twelve feet In height, repre sents tho poet standing with a note book In one hand and a quill pen ir the other. Tho granite bears an orig inal design, ornamented with bronze panels of "The Cotter's Saturday Night" and "Burns at the Plow " ON DRAUGHT AT LEADING HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS. JOHN KUHBACH, Manager FACTS IN FEW LINES Wheat matures In Canada in from 00 to 100 days. Tho first balloon was made by o French priest In 1C20. A 7,000 foot pier Is under construe tlon nt MInster-on-tho-Sca, England. There nro about a quarter of a mil' Hon more men than women in Aus tralla. In some provinces of British India rubber is displacing ten as tho princi pal product. There are neither bachelors nor old maids in China, where celibacy is deemed unnatural nnd vicious. Saxony has probably more factories In proportion to its area than any oth er country. The present number is 24, 707. There nro twenty monasteries on Athos, tho holy mountain, the largest being a Russian one with 2,000 monks In it. Mexico Is destined to become n prom inent fnctor as a producer of refined petroleum. Now wells are being con stantly discovered. London did not have nn adequate water supply till 1000. Two-thirds of It comes from the Thames, the rest from artesian wells. It Is reported that a student of the Electro-Technical Institute of St. Pe tersburg named Freudlnborg has in vented an apparatus for exploding mines by wireless telegraphy. During a storm nt Stoke-on-Trent. England, a young woman had a nar row escape. Her spectacles were struck by lightning. Tho frnmes wero split I and tho lenses broken. The wearer 1 escaned injury. ! The Chinese method of relieving one 1 pain with another Is going out of ! vogue, and there is a large sale of pat- J i ent medicines. Sedatives arc judged j ! and valued by what they do In the I shortest possible time. ! Coal ashes are being washed into j spaces iu Pennsylvania mines from i which the coal lias been removed. As ( the water recedes they form a solid ( mass stroug enough to hold up the earth and prevent cave-ins. Incredible as It seems, Cleveland, one i of the great cities of the country, was ' not Incorporated as a village until 1S1-1 , and had then a population of not more , , than 300 people, though its location j 1 made It prominent in a small -way. i First place among the universities I-of tho world in matter of mere uuui I bers, up to last year held by that ol Berlin, has now been won by the TJnI I vcrslty of Farls, which had a student body of KJ.G00 In last summer's semes ter. Sorcery now and then figures In twentieth century life. The Paris civil court has Just dismissed a suit brought against. Professor Raymond and Dr. Menard, two well known physicians, CALL FOR by a coachman, who charged them with j sorcery. i The phonograph Is suggested by a ' French photographer ns a means of timing when a clock cannot be watch- ed. He has fitted his machine with a ; cylinder counting from 1 to 2-10, with lntervnls of one serond between the numbers. Largest of all guns carried by Urlt lsh warships Is the twelve inch, but since the Brazilian ships now bulldln;; ' in England are to be Ctt.tvl with 13.5 inch guns it has been decided to -on duct experiments with the large weap on for the British navy. At a meeting of the London Zoolog ical society tho Fccretnry pointed out that tho young giraffes have relatively much shorter necks than their parents i the nock in the former belnj not long er than tho fore legs, which it largely exceeds in length in the latter. Tho Intorurban railway of Winona. Ind., Is the only electric line In the country which is not in operation on Sunday. The officials, moreover, with tho exception of two, serve without pay, nnd tho profits of the road are entirely devoted to tho support of a technical school nt Indianapolis. There is at Lincoln Center. Me., a shoo factory unique In that one man 1 erected the building, developed tin J water power, constructed tho watei I wheel and gearing and Invented and built the machinery. This same man now serves as owner, ngent, salesman, j uooKiceeper, foreman ana "neip. Switzerland is suffering from a plague of leeshes, which are killing the fish In the lakes nnd rivers by thou sands. In the upper course of the Rhino, In the Aar. the lakes of Neufchatel nnd Coustnnce, where the plague Is most acute, thousands of dead fish nre seen floating on the wa ter. A few years ago It was considered an extraordinary and wonderful feat for a ship Jo cross the Atlantic Inside a week. Now It Is done In a trifle over four days. When Chicago erected the Masonic temple, containing twenty two stories, wo thought the limit had boon reached. In New York now there are structures twice that height. Since tlio lav.- was passed recently giving a halfpenny a head for dead rats tho schoolboys of Copenhagen de vote their playtime to hunting the rodent. The bodies are taken to the fire brigade station, where the tails are cut off ih order that the reward may not bo claimed a second time. The bodies are burned the same night in n furnace at the gas works. Winning "at a walk" doesn't always prove up tho ca3y job it looks from tho starter's post. Slumps In the aeroplane business won't necessarily mean that the bot tom haa dropped out. P enn HUMOR OF THE HOUft( The Melodramatic Unities. With the deepest sympathy wo 'listen ! to the sorrowful tale of the poor wo man whose wan beauty Is enhanced by tho silvery rays of tho moonlight ( that rest upon licr wan countenance. "Oh, sir," she sighs, "have pity. 1 havo been thrust out from my home, j where I was surrounded by every lux- ury. xno uoor lias nccu cioscu agaiusi me. nnd I am star-r-r-ving. Out lute the cold, cold world I must go, tt trudge do.wn the snowy streets In senreh of nlil." Choking back the tears that arc brought to our eyes by her pitlfu'. plight, we ask: "But why do yon not pawn some ol the dlamouds ifpon your lingers or tht costly necklace which you wear to ob tain wherewithal to feed and clothe yourself?" "Alas," she weeps, looking up Intc the scattering snowflnkcs that have re sponded to their cue and are beginning to flutter down upon her "ajas. if I did that I could not be found starvlnp In tho old mill in tho next net when the villain comes there to conceal tho papers and to attempt to kill the noble hero." Chicago Post. Helpful to the Hen. Little Mabel was visiting her uncle In the country nnd helping him gathei oggs. "What's that one you leave in the nest every time?" was the youthful'iu qulry. "That's just the nest egg. It isn't a real egg, you know it's made of por celain," explained hcriuncle. "Oh, I sec," said Mabel. "It's the pat tern that the hen uses." Woman's Home Companion. Went Ono Better. "Did you hear how Mrs. Wlunout got tho better of Mrs. Getthero on her now hat?" "No. How?" "When she learned that Mrs. Get there's hat was as big as hers sho took the trimming off the bat, put it on the box the hat came In and wore the box." Town Topics. He Might. "Pa, would you go up in nn airship if you had a chance?" "Well," replied Mr. Ilenpeck as he looked around cautiously to assure himself that ho would not bo over heard, "I might if 1 could be assured that no ladies would be admitted." Chicago Record-Herald. Alfred Knew. "Can you tell us what auto-suggestion is, Alfred?" "Yessum. it's when mamma keeps hintln' to papa that a lot of our friends are buyln' motor cars." Kansas City Times. a. Purity, flaturity, Quality. She Was Dear. "Please don't keep calling me 'del nt the table," sho whispered. "Pcona will think we are on our honeymoon."! "But I can't help calling you 'dear, ' gasped the young man with tho lights pocketbook. "The portion you ordered amounts to over $3." St. Louis Post- Dispatch. Accurate Information. t Fortune Teller This lino here shows that you will die in a year. Client Good hcavensl In n year? "H'm, yes but In which year I can't quite tell you." After the Failure. Mrs. Scraggs My husband hasn't a dollar In the world, and 1 think I am entitled to a divorce. Mrs. Bnggs On what grounds? Mrs. Scraggs On the ground that 1 married him for money. Puck. Jonah's Dilemma. Whale What arc you going to tell your wlfo when you get home? Jonah I don't know. I don't sup pose sho would believe mo if 1 should tell her that I had been to a fish din-ner.r-Bohemian Magazine. A Joint Argument. "I had quite an argument today wltk my butcher over the quality of a roast." "Sort of a joint argument, eh?" Browning's Magazine. Autumn Bliss. It is so sweet to wander far In autumn woods, Sho all to him and ho tho world to her. And so to sit beneath a spreading chest nut tree And jump right up to save a steel speared bur From crushing Ah, Clarice! New York Globe. Qualified. Kuox Wiudig ought to make a suc cessful fisherman. Blox Why do you think so? Knox He's a natural born liar.- Harper's Weekly. Those who can only get wisdom wit ago shouldn't take extra pains to stay! young,