Newspaper Page Text
'A linsri extends o'er field nnd hill.
The woods are ailcnt, mill the atresia,
Xhe bird forcrta its note to trill.
The bee it bud, And hurries home,
A rathering (loom pervades the nicy,
Expectant nature pauses, stays,
While clnnd on cloud piled on nich
And dark the storm hit host arrays.
Kow alow advanoinir. gloomy, broad,
The army of the ky spreads far
Its hii-re embattled front take had,
- Iti banners flare and tignnl war.
A Minding glare of livid flame
1aps from its blnok and rnfrtrd e-dee,
Ifow room the thunder, roars the storm
And wild the wind and torrcnti rage.
An Interrupted Elopement.
A LOVE STORY OF THE TEXAS BORDER.
ELI.Y WARDEN wns the
belle of Jnmoo Comity:
there could bo no doubt of
that. Some said of the
whole of Texas; Imt that
was more problematical.
No one denied, however, tlint she
was one of the prettiest little mnlda
that ever Mopped laughing blue eye,
roguish red lip nnd n akin with Just
the lonst touch of brown where the
flery Texas mm had kissed It. And
there wasn't a boy In that section that
wouldn't have Riven his right hand for
thnt lame privilege. Hut she would
tiave none of us, though pood mors
knows we hung round the Warden
ranch in a most disgustingly obvious
rier three Mr brothers never wanted
for chums, nnd her poor old father pos
itively couldn't move without having
ome of Nelly's suitors buzzing about
lilm, for, yon see, we were nil so keen
on RcttlnR her that we couldn't afford
to let the other fellows steal a march
on us by makliiR friends at court. Rut
In spite of all our efforts Solomon lilm
elf couldn't have told which one of ns
she favored If she favored any ono nt
fhe had n laugh and a smile for
every one of us but ns to n prefer
ence! Some of the married men. Just
to worry ns, used to say that the right
man hadn't arrived yet, nnd we boys
would feel for our pistols and hint
that if he wasn't a born and bred
James Comity man the strnngor would
find things unhealthy fnr him.
There were. I should say, about eight
of us boys who "wanted to marry Nelly
Warden, and. In splto of our rivalry,
we were all pretty good friends. With
one exception. Ho was Juan Sola, a
Mexican from over the border a regu
lar fiery Spanish "greaser" of the old
rtyle. He was a magnificent horseman,
tind to see hlin come thundering up to
the Warden ranch blR silver spurs,
silver-worked saddle nnd bridle, and
Jannty lint made us fellows green
with Jealousy when we thought of onr
wry steeds nnd string nnd leather
eqalpmemt. Still, Sunn didn't get on
any better than the rest of us. He
was nlwnys welcome: so were we. He
stopped to dinner or ten; so did we.
' And he went nwny no forrnrder.
But as time went on we noticed thnt
the Mexican was not exactly contented
with the progress he wns making in
bis wooing. Ills was one of those
. Impetuous natures which brook no ob
stacles, and It gn'.led him to think thnt
lie. Juan Soln, owner of n big much,
the handsomest man on the border,
who could hnve hnd nny dark-eyed
Mexican senorita he chose for his wife,
sould not make hondwny with the little
Mue-eyed Nelly Warden, And we saw
that he scowled blackly at times ns he
rode home over the border.
And so the days pnssed awny, until
line night Jim Wnrdon thnt wns Nel
ly's eldest brother enme to my ihnnty
In a high state of excitement.
"Dick,' snld ho, dropping Into a chnlr
nd mopping the perspiration from his
face. "I've got a most extrnordlnnry
bit of news for you. Junn Soln is going
to elope with Nell!"
"Elope with Nell!" I ronred. "Yon
mean she's going to marry him? Hns
"Steady, old mini," snld Jim, with n
mile. "Pcrbnpg I didn't ought to hnve
lint It thnt wny. But now listen; I'm
serious. I wns down at Snn Itoen nliout
ome horses to day, and who should I
meet there but Pete, one of Soln's ser
vants. You remember him? The mnn
I dragged away from thnt mnd bull
"Well, the old chnp semeed confused
t seeing me, and it seemed to me
omohow thnt he'd got something on
Ills mind. At first, when I asked him
what wns amiss, he tried to pass it
off, but then he suddenly turned to me
mid told me that ho wouldn't have it
m his conscience to deceive a man who
bad saved bis life. Of course I asked
what on earth he meant about deoelv
ing me. Then out came his whole
tiudget I promised blm I'd see he
didn't suffer, and came straight on to
ee yon about the business. To put
it in a nutshell, what he told me was
this: His master has got tired of bang'
ing round Nelly without result, and be
lias resolved to kidnap ber, take her
.across the border to one of his es
tanclas in the mountains, and there get
a priest to marry tbem while we're
Granting around for our poor girl."
"Good heavens!" I cried, for although
wild doings took place on the border,
1 bad never dreamt of anything quite
as comprehensive as this. "And when
does this game come off!"
Jim leaned forward.
"To-morrow night, my boy," be said,
tsopressively. "Joan Sola and two ser
wants are to wait for Nelly as she
aides across to Mellor's for ber music
assisoa. She always foes a Ions, as the
The swayine nnlc a hnnirrjd year
Has braved, defiant, many a blnt,
But now the storm in triumph roar
And hurU it down headlong at last.
The reedy marsh, the mradows green.
Flat, level, nnrrai-tinn lie,
While o'er the upland, through the glen.
The t I'm pull tinge, the storm dines by.
Above the uproar, through the sfnrm
The thunder rrn-h. the lightnings glare,
All nature join in wild alarm,
Involved in fierce, convulsive war.
lis rage is spent, with muttering peal
The storm rolls sullen, slow, away,
Th" rifted clouds the skv reveal.
Apain the sunshine gilds the day.
I'harlca K. Milroy, in Chicago Tribune.
vlllnln knows, nnd the Job enn be done
ns easy ns winking."
'She mustn't stir onr, that's all," I
said, hastily, "Grent Scott! what can
we do to the fellow?"
"My dear chap," said Jim, "If we
simply content ourselves with keeping
Nelly safe under lock and key we can
do nothing to lilm, because we lack
proof. Hut I've got a scheme."
He broke off and chuckled.
"Out with it. mnn!" I cried, for his
merriment nettled me.
"We must go through with the kid
naping business, that's all!" he said,
beeomlnR suddenly sober.
"What! Let Nelly get taken!" I
"Yes. nnd no!" said Jim, his eyes
dnnclng with merriment at my bewild
erment. "Juan sbnll kidnap somebody.
if he can but It won't be Nelly. See?"
"I'm hanged If I do!" I said. "Who
should he tnke, if not Nelly?"
"We'll provide some one," snld Jim.
Yon blockhead! Don't you under
stand? Somebody must play Nelly,
for this occasion only. Then when our
pay Mexican rides up to stnrt his glrl-
liftiiiR lay, we chime in nnd trot out
our pnrt of the play. And, by Jove!"
he ndded, grimly, "I've got some
mighty pretty lines in my net!"
Dawn was now breaking in upon me.
"But who was going to pretend to be
Nell?" I asked. "It's going to be a
mighty unhealthy pnrt. Soln's not n
man to stand any monkey tricks, and
he'jt very handy with his guns."
I know," said Jim. "He's ft dead
shot, and he's more than likely to get
mad when he realizes he's been fooled
and won't be nble to show his nose this
side of the border again. It enn't be
n girl. Pick, it's too risky. She'd be
Just ns likely to stop a bullet ns or.e of
us. If I know anything of the greaser."
Yes," said I, "thnt rnthcr bents us,
"Not n bit of It," replied Jim. Then
he looked nt me' critically. "I've Rot
It!" he cried. "You shall play Nelly,
"Mo!" I said, ntul my voice wns so
strange .that Jim roared ngnln.
Yes you," he continued. "You've
got a slight, girlish figure, my boy
don't hit me! your face Is Innocent of
hair, nnd you'll make an Al girl when
we've done with yon. We'll borrow one
of Nell's gowns nnd ber big flop hnt,
and n wig out of the box we had for
the theatricals last spring, nnd your
own mother wouldn't know you."
Dou't talk rubbish. Jim!" I snld.
hotly. "Ho yon think I nm n fool?
What sort of a freak should I Uok got
up like that?"
We're playing for n big stake!" said
Jim, becoming grave ngnln; nnd if
we come out all right you ought to
stand in for something. I like you.
Hick, nnd I should like to see you get
our Nell. Don't you think If you and
I pull this through it'll send yon up
lu her estimation? Yon do ns I tell
you. my boy, nnd I'll be your best man
From that moment I was ns was In
The time hnd come. Miss Nelly
Warden, otherwise Pick Travers, at
tired in her pretty blue print Rown
nnd her blR flop lint, which effectually
concealed her fnce, set out on her blnek
mare to fide to the house of old Ma'nm
Morrell, who gave music lessons. Miss
Nelly rode slde-snddle but between
you nnd me I found It uncomfortable,
nnd my own wouldn't set straight
somehow around about where I had
got my two six-shooters tucked.
I didn't feel hnppy. I knew thnt
away down the trail somewhere Jim
and Tom Warden were waiting, their
pistols on the cock. The old servant
told Jim pretty exactly the spot where
the nnihush would be laid, and Jim
and Tom hnd nrrnnged so as to be on
hnud when wanted. Still, things might
go wrong, nnd if so I stood to get a
couple of leaden pellets through my
head instead of leading Nelly Warden
to the altar. For Juan Sola bad a way
of shooting on sight when he got mad,
and then his vicinity became distinctly
Hark! What wns thatl A scurry In
the underbrush, a rush of men and
horses, and a cloak had been thrown
over my bead and I was dragged back
ward off my home to the ground. Some
very unladylike exclamations which I
let drop as I struggled to escape were
fortunately lost In the confusion.
Then came the thud of hoofs, and I
heard Jim's voice demanding what was
amiss. For answer came an path In
Sola's voice, and a rough command to
stand out of the way.
"What's that behind you?" cried Jim.
"Great heavens, you villain, Is that my
Apparently he made one step toward
the Mexican, who threw out bis arm
and fired at blm,' and with a groan
poor Jim drop--. Quick as lightning
Tom Warden fired on Sola, but iilsseil,
nnd I began to think It wns time to
nsslst In the fighting. I wns lying on
the ground entangled In the horse
clonk, nnd as I struggled to rise Sola
suddenly seized mo by the arm with
the Intention of pulling me to my feet
In the darkness he hnd not yet dlsoov-
ered the deception.
I threw off his grasp nnd sprang to
my feet, drawing my revolver ns 1
did so. A strange figure I must hnve
looked, standing there In my blue skirt
My big "flop hnt" hnng round my neck
by Its ribbon, nnd mj wig had fnllcu
One senrchlnp glnnce the Mexican
threw nt me, then ho realized the
"Fooled!" he shrieked, and let drive
ft bullet nt me. I hnd ducked nt the
flash, hut a hot, tearing pnin In my left
nrm. told me thnt his aim wns good.
I fired nt hlni, but missed him badly,
nnd In ft second he had mounted and
turned to flee, bis two servants riding
.Mount nnd after them," ronred Tom,
who was fat nnd heavy. "I must look
after my brother."
I needed no further Incentive. I
leaped on to my horse Nelly's horse
nnd In a moment I was after them.
My mnre wns fresher thnn theirs, nnd
I gained rapidly on them. Suddenly, in
obedience to nn order from Sola, one
of the servants turned bnck nnd rode
at me, but a bullet from my Colt took
him In the shoulder, and he rode off
howling I '. a direction nt right angles
to thnt In which we were galloping.
The second serTnnt wns apparently
In n terrible pnnlc. and at last he
swerved off and left his master alone.
Soln. seeing this, turned In his saddle
nnd fired nfter blm, mnklng the silent
woods ring with onths. And nil the
time I wns gaining on lilm. I knew
thnt if he once got behind a rock there
he could pick me off nt his leisure, and
so I strove my hnrdes? to come up with
blm, pnylng no heed to my burning
wound. Just ns he turned to the cor
ner, nnd stood outlined for ft second
against the blue night sky, he turned
nnd fired on me, and onr bullets
crossed. He took me Just above the
knee, but mine hit him somewhere un
der the lirenstbone, nnd be pitched out
of his saddle heavily. I rode cautiously
tip, but when I snw his face I knew
that the danger was past. Junu Sola
Quite how I got bnck to the town T
do not know. I must hnve fnlnted
from pain nnd loss of blood many
times, but the good old horse pulled
me through nnd carried me snfely to
the Warden ranch, where Tom, carry
ing his badly wounded brother, had
arrived long before. By the time I
arrived the whole story of the frus
trated elopement wns public property,
nnd grent wns the rejoicing when I
turned up nllve, though damaged, tno
general concensus of opinion having
been that when I set out to pursue the
Mexican nnd his two servnnts I hnd
gone on my Inst ride.
So poor little Nelly bad her linnin
full, with two grent Invalids to look
nfter. Jim got better sooner thnn I
did, having only n bullet truck across
his ribs, but thnt wns fo my advantage,
seeing thnt when he pot better she
wns freo to devote more time to me.
She made me tell her all nbout my
cbnse nnd how I felt in her gown nnd
hat. I told her n good deal more, too.
n pood deal that wouldn't Interest you,
perhaps. Hut when we told Jim the
roslt of onr conversation, of course
the silly fellow must slap me on the
bnck. and roar out: "I told you so.
Pick! I told yon you stood to get
something good out of the business!"
As I often tell little Nelly, I did.
New York News.
A World 'a Parliament.
Tt Ti-n nnlv TOO venrs from the au
thorization of trial by Jury in land dis
putes in KiighiiHl IH1 piivnte wur was
wimiiv nbolltibeil in Kiiglnnd. nn.l the
parliament which did this enmo Into
existenc e 100 years nrter trim oy jury
vn iinthorized. snvs tSunton's Miign-
islne. Already tho nations have au
thorized trial by Jury lu nil contro
versies. Hemeiuberiiig thnt when
battle wns nbolished tlie
county sents In England were further
from London than the cnpltnis or tue
nntion now nre. it is hnrd to escnpe
from tho conclusion that an Interna
tional parliament will come into exist
mi's parliament did,
much more speedily as time for travel
and communication uimnnsnes, ami
tlyit this parliament will do, ll sar
loo yenrs, under twentieth century
cinditlous, what it took the English
noi'it.impiit fiOO venrs to do under an
cient conditions. But whether this re-
formation according to the nlneteentu
century revelation in political affairs
takes 100 or 200 years 'for its realiza
tion. It seems almost proved that the
world will ue included lu this union
,vb. v it is formed.
Thought Ha Waa Killed.
A workman In a big building com
pany's yards nearly died of fright a
few days ago. The foreman heard a
yell and much commotion among a lot
of carpenters in the yard and rushed
to the scene. He found one of the men
on the ground with a two-inch bit ap
parently sticking through bis side,
white as a ghost, and practically out
or bis mind. His fellow-workmen bad
sent for an ambulance and were about
as badly frightened as be. The fore
man took out bis knife and slit tbs
man's Jumper and shirt Gown Vile back.
The bit came away with the shirt,
tightly rolled up In It, and the man
was absolutely unscratcbed. It ap
pears that be bad been standing
against an unflulsbed caisson In which
two-Inch holes were being bored. The
bit was run by compressed air, and
when It came through the planking was
very bot. It was the beat from the bit
which made the workman think it was
la bis body. New York Post
A PRIZE YARN
C7 A MIXED
Combination of Fish, Alligator
Throws the Old Sea Serpent Into the SltudC
Gigantic Survivor of Prehistoric Ajjes Is Over
Slxly-flve Feet Long, and Equally at Home
In Air or Sea.
Salt Lake, Vtnh. A terrible, nnme
less, nnclnsslflcd creature of the ani
mal world is exciting the curiosity,
wonder nnd fear of occnslnnnl visitors
to Stiinsbury Island, In the southern
portion of Great Salt Lake.
This monster, to strange and unnat
ural in nppenrnnee, hns lately, It Is
said, been seen by several persons, but
the best account of Its characteristics
nnd movement Is given by Martin Gil
bert nnd John Rnrry, two hunters who
this week returned from nn e:;pedltlon
over the Islnnd, In the course of which
they studied the hnblts of this hitherto
unhenrd of crenture for three dnys.
The monster, which nppenrs to be
almost ciiunlly nt home In the nlr, on
the bench, or submerged In til? briny
wnters of Snlt Lake, Is probably the
sole survivor of a prehistoric species.
It Is doubtless the Inst representative
of a family whose other members, dead
ages since, have left tho testimony of
their existence in the primeval rocks
of the mountains.
Arranging in concise form the de
scription of this Incredible relic of the
nnlmnl world, from the nccounts given
by those who hnve observed it nt close
range, it seems In plain, unscientific
language, n combination of fish, all
gator, nnd bat.
DESCRIPTION OF THE BEAST.
In size it is simply tremendous. Gil
bert places its length at sixty feet,
while Harry, who is nn amateur scien
tist, says thnt nn examination of Its
tracks demonstrates that the monster
must bo sixty-five feet from head to
The head Is like that of nn alligator,
t.ie eyes fiercely glowing, the Jaws,
cnpnble of opening to n distance of ten
feet from tho top of the upper to the
lower, nre provided with n fearful ar
my of sharp saw-edged teeth; the
body, so far ns observation goes, is en
ensed with heavy horny scales. As to
this Gilbert and Rnrry nre not positive,
ns the constant diving of the beast, If
such it may lie called. Into the strong
brine of the lnke hns Inerusted It with
a thick coating of snlt, which, save
near the wings, completely bides the
According to their nceount they first
righted It nt n distance of between
one nnd n hnlf and two miles. The day
wns clear, the sun intensely bright.
Gilbert's own words of the discovery
We were walking westward from the
enst shore of the island nbout 9 o'elrtek
1". Hie morning, when suddenly to the
northwest .there nppenrt. n Thing, I
don't know whnt to call it; It looked to
me like n brilliant rainbow folded Into
a compact mass, moving rapidly
through the nlr.
"I was so astounded that for n few
moments I doubted the evidence of my
own senses. The object came nearer,
but the colors were so dazzling that It
wns some time before It assumed def
inite form. No one who hns not wit
nessed the sight can conceive its
strangeness. The mass of color was
plowing, flaming, radiant. I spoko to
" "Eor God's sake, mnn can yon see
that?" nnd ho wns no less astonished
"In three or four minutes the mon
ster's position wns such thnt it no
longer reflected the sunlight directly
toward us, nnd we could then discern
tho outline of the form. Its wings
were bntlike, stretching out over a
grent expnnso, I should sny nt lenst
one hundred feet from tip to tip. The
tall was proportionately short nnd re
sembled thnt of n huge fish. We were
not close enough nt this time to tell
much nbout the head, only we snw that
the Jnws were very long. In shape the
bend wns like thnt of n crocodile."
Gilbert gave a long account of how
he and Rarry watched tho monster,
which supported Its enormous wings,
swung round and round In immense
eircles through the air, gradually de
trending nnd approaching nearer to
them. He declares thnt it was not
more thnn 300 ynrds above their heads,
when, now convinced that the awful
creature was nbout to nttnek them, he
fired at the monster with his rifle, n
4-cnllbre gun londed with a steel
The missile, he believes, struck fnlr,
but inflicted no nppnrent wound. The
monster gave utterance to a strange,
fear-lnsplring cry, half snort, hnlf
roar, and, rising rnpidly in the air,
veered quickly to the west, nnd nfter
three miles of flight settled down and
disappeared beyond tho crest of the
BULLET HAD NO EFFECT.
A few seconds after the shot was
fired, while tho hunters were wutchlng
the Sight of the dragon-like beast,
some small lumps of salt fell almost at
their feet. They were more than ever
mystlfled by this, but not until the
next day were they able to ascertain
Determined to learn more, of the
monster, Gilbert and Barry hastened
In the direction of Its flight, and after
surmounting the range of bills to the
westward, found with little trouble the
tracks the beast had left In the soli
after ceasing Its flight. These led the
hunters to sn Immense cave, near the
bead of a narrow gulch.
They approached to within three rods
af the opening In the rocks, but find
( Sag that the freshest footprints led
Into the gloetr.y cavern frnred nt thnt
time to make nny closer Inspection.
"These tracks," snld Harry, "were
five-toed, almost exactly like the Im
print of a glgnntic hand, If you can
Imagine n hand nearly four feet nerosi
the pnlni." I
Gilbert nnd Barry constructed n bar
ricade for themselves of the largest
rooks they were able to hnndlc nnd lay
down to nwnit the results.
The nay wore on nnd the men were
weary and nlmnst despairing of site
ress In ttn-lp vlrgll, when, Just nt dusk, I
the horrible creature crawled slowly '
from the envc. nnd, pausing at Its
mouth to mke flight, gave them their
first view nt close range.
Rarry says thnt the hnekneyed
phrnse of exaggeration, "mndo his
blood run cold," is none too strong fot
the sight they snw.
"The monster slowly moved his
grent Jaws," declared the hunter. In
spenklng of his experience, "until it
seemed ns if he could have Swallowed
a large horse nt one mouthful. He
gnve n snort thnt might hnve been
heard n mile, nnd then slowly sprend
his huge wings. We now snw thnt the
huge body wns conted with snlt, np
pnrently nearly a foot In thickness
This explnlneil why the snlt lumps
dropped nt onr feet when the bullet
struck the nirtiister. Ry this we knew
thnt the crenture must spend much
of Its time In the waters of the lnke.
"The grent beast mndo ft short run
before tnking flight, taking long Jumpi
upon Its hind legs nnd tall. The fore
legs were comparatively iihort, nnd np.
penred to be used only when It crawled
flat upon the ground.
"The frightful head wns not mor
thnn ten feet from ns when It rose In
the nlr, but so well were we screened
by our shelter of rocks that we were
unobserved. The Inrge, fiercely
gleaming eyes, the sharp, serrated
teeth, the wide expanse of wings thnl
began to move rapidly ns the horrible
henst rose from the ground nnd pnssed
directly over our bends, combined to
make n terrible sight-one thnt I shnll
"We watched it disappear In the
gathering gloom of night, but were for
n long time paralyzed with fear, not
knowing when It might return. I(
wns probably nn hour later when II
did come bnck.
"We heard the swish of the mighty
wings before It could ho seen, hut n'
It drew nenrer. by the light of the
young moon In the west, we snw that
carried In Its great Jnws was n huge
horse, which I suppose It hnd swooped
down upon while feeding. Tho horse
wns badly crushed nnd mangled.
FEASTED O.N THE HOUSE.
"The monster carried Its burden Into
the cave and we could hear the crunch.
Ing of Its Jaws nnd the cracking of the
horse's hones as the beast devoured
Its victim. After nn hour or so nil
wns still nnd we then slipped quietly
r.wny In the darkness nnd returned to
our camp on the eastern shore of the
"Had it not been for a bad break in
our boat we would have lied the Islnnd
that night. As it was v.e worked nil
night to repair the craft, nlthough the
task might have been accomplished In
two hours except thnt we feared to
build n lire to afford light.
"It wns Just dawn nnd we were pre
paring to launch, when Gilbert said:
'There it conies again!' In nn instant
we turned the boat bottom up nnd
crawled under It. One end wns lifted
nbout n foot above the end by n rock,
nnd we were nblu 'o watch the mon
"It settled down on the bench less
thnn fifty ynrds to the north nnd dived
quickly into the lake. From lis no
tions while nearly burled under the
waves I Judged thnt the crenture wns
gathering and feeding upon tho snlt
water shrimps which abound nlong the
const there. When tho monster enme
up it was very close to ns. and vve were
particularly Impressed by the fact
that the strong brine had no effect
upon its eyes, which nppenred lldless.
Evidently the animal's food in the wa
tor wns found by the sense of sight.
"Although of such gigantic size,
there wns nelhlng sluggish in the
movements of the monster. It swam
and dived as rapidly as any Inrge fish.
"We wntched it for nerhnna hnlf nn
uour as it grndunlly worked its wnv
northward nnd flnnlly dlsappenrcd."-
Llka a Uoj'a Pocket.
A most remnrkuble case of gastron
omy for foreign bodies of the stomach
was described at a meeting of tbs
Academie do Medecine. The patient,
a youth sixteen years old, hnd entered
the St. Joseph Hospltnl for epilepsy.
He bad bau melaena, and a rather
sharp pain, accompanied by crepltution
In the left bypochondrium. The oper
ation was performed in June, and the
following bodies were removed through
an orifice of two aud a half centi
meters: Eight teaspoons, from eight
to fifteen centimeters long; a three
pronged fork; a letter file, twelve ceuti.
deters long, two sharp points; a needle,
six centimeters long; a knife blade,
five centimeters long; n piece of comb,
eight centimeters long, and a key.
There wi-ro in all twenty-five bodies,
weighing 230 grams. The stomach did
not seem to have been affected, and the
patient recovered completely, Paris
Letter to the Medical Record.
If hntter is one who ne!l! hnfa.
Thi n a hnttrr i mic who si-lls bits,
And a chatter is one who rells chats,
nd a pMlcr is one who teU pnt.
And a flat t rr i one w ho sell flnt, .
And a (c.ittrr i one who iclln unit.
And a spatter is one who HI spits.
Kear Hi I,nml or Mlrinlglit.
Tourist "Whnt were those two shots
In quick succession?"
"Why, those, were the sunrise nnd
sunset guns." Life.
Evnlvn "Anil illil he nine nwnv and
die after you refused to ninrry lilm'"' I
Imogene "No; the ungrateful wretch J
mnrrled miserably .well." Chicago ;
Gilbert "1'tny, how do yon know
Miss Merrin hns remained single from
Hornce "Been use I never henrd her
lay she hnd." Boston Transcript.
Mr. Phodllgh "Don't yon think my
laughters sing like angels, rrofessor?"
Trofossor Pumpernickel "Sure,
mntnm! I nefrr henrdt human beings
ling like dey do!" Brooklyn Life.
Biggs "I'm proud of my family
Dlggs "Ton ought to whitewash It."
BlRgs-"Whllewnsh it! Whnt fort"
Dlggs "To keep the Insects off."
Thinks Well of lllmsrlf.
"Isn't it strange," remarked Mrs. Bll
llns to her husband, "that I enn never
get a good bnrgnln In shoes?"
"You did once," snld her husband.
"When was thnt?"
"When you got me." Chicago He-cord-Herald.
Prima Fnrln Kvlilpnrf.
Madge "Miss l'nssny has volun
teered to get up n booth nt the Christ
mns hnznnr and sell hisses. Isn't It
Mnrjorle "Dreadful, my denr! I
never thought thnt girl had the face to
do It." Smart Set,
"Charley Is n wonderfully bright
mnn," snld young Mrs. Tot-kins.
"Yes. lie enn pick out the horse Hint
ought to hnve won the race every
time. And If It didn't win. that isn't
Charley's fault." Washington Stnr.
An Try Jrst
"Why do you smile?" the old mnn c.l-'d,
"Why does your face relax'"
"The ice," tho grinning youth replied
"It makes such funny cracks."
New York Journal.
Til Prle of Kierlpnre.
"What did you buy wi;h thut money
your uncle left you?"
"I bought experience," wns the rue
"My dear sir, I never wns much on
bargain day affairs, and the ordinary
price of experience is all that you've
got." Chicago Dost.
"You don't seem to recognize me Ibis
evening. Miss Wllklus," said the young
mnn who aspired to be her "steady."
"Not recognize jou. Jack?" she ex
claimed. "Whnt do you menu? Haveu't
I been talking to you nil evening?"
"Yes, but you'ro letting the other fel
low stay in the room." Cbictigo Tri
bune. Bllsglna' llluiider.
"Bllggin is very unfortunate In his
I "Yes," snld the girl with yellow bnirj
"you see, Mr. Bllgglns makes the great
mistake of trying to converse Intelli
gently, when he ought to be simply
holding bauds and looking as if be
,vre stupefied with Joy." Washing
"Oil, Aunt Rachel, we are facing the
most terrible alternative you ever
"What Is the matter. Becky?"
"The Janitor of the building wants
to marry our Amelia. ' She can't bear
the sight of him but how can we ever
dare to run the risk of offending bint?"
"I dunno what my boy Josh would
have done without his college educa
tion," said Farmer Corntossel.
"Yes. While bs wss borne be got
On the same side of a fence with a
bull, and mother an' me was powerful
thankful tbat be was a champion run
ner an' Jumper." Washington Star.
NAVES OF VEHICLES;
Qorpr Origins of the Aprirllntlons of
Men who lu these days "hire n hack"
never stop to Inquire how tho vehicle
they engage to wheel tbein to their
homes or to n depot got Its name. It
sutlleos to know that everybody elso
rails It n hack, nnd to them It Is sim
ply thnt. nnd nothing more. The orig
inal bucks were termed hackney
conches, because they were drawn by
"hackneys," n nnme applied to easy
going, safe pacing horses,
"Coach" Is derived from the French
coetie, n diminutive form of the I.ntlti
coiichuln, n shell, In which shape the
body of such conveyances was origin
ally fashioned. Seldom, If ever, Is the
full tern, "oninllms.' applied to those
heavy, lumbering vehicles found In so
tunny Inrge cities. With the ehnrncter
Istlc brevity of English spenklng rnees,
the title has been changed to Ums."
These were first seen in Paris In 1S27.
nnd the original iinnic of "omnibus"
Is derived from the fact thnt It first
appeared on the sides of ench convey
mice, being nothing more thnn the
Lntln word signifying "for all."
"Cab" Is nn abbreviation of the Itnl
Inil word rnhrlolit, which was changed
to enbriolet In French. Both names
have a common derivative cabriole
signifying a pont's lenp. The exnet
rensnu for giving It this strnnge nppcl
tntlon Is unknown, unless because of
the lightness nnd springiness of the
vehicle In Its original form.
In some Instances the unities of spe
clnl forms of cnrrlnges nre derived
from the titles of the persons who In
troduced them. The hrouphnm wns
first used by the fnmotis Lord Rrnug
hnm, nnd Wllllnm IV.. who wns orlg
Innlly the Duke of Clnrence, gnve the
latter nnme to his fnvorlte conveynnce.
The popnlnr hansom derives Its nnme
from its introducer, Mr. Hnnsen; and
the tilbury, nt one time n very fash
ionable two-wheeled vehicle, wns
called from n sporting gentleman of
the same nnme,
Lnndnit, ft city in Germany, was the
locality In which was first mndo the
style of vehicle bearing thnt name.
Sulky, ns nppllcd to n two-wheeled
conveynnce. had its origin In the fact
thnt when It first nppenred the person
who snw it considered thnt none but a
sulky, selfish person would ride In
such n nffnlr, which afforded nccom
uiodntlnn to but one Individual. The
strnnge title was never changed.
Coupe Is French In origin, being de
rived from the verb eouper (coopny),
to cut. This was considered nn ap
propriate designation, because It great
ly resembled a conch with the front
part cut off.
The old-fashioned gig was given thnt
nnme from Its peculiar Jumping nnd
rocking motion, the word being tnken
from the French glgue, signifying Jig,
or a lively dance. Kansas City Star.
It will nstonish most people to henr
that 2S.S.(l,f!7 neres nre nnnunlly un
der potato culture In Europe, nnd that
the total yield therefrom Is estimated
nt 2,"20,21 1.5ilrt hundredweight. The
Gardeners' Magazine states thnt In
the matter of nrea Russia occupies the
highest position with 0.(1 l.r.S(!9 acres.
Germany ranks next with 8,004.225
acres, nnd France occupies the third
place with 3.S1S.37S neres. The potato
nrens In the other countries of Europe
are ns follows: Austria. 2.81)2.077
neres: Hungary. 1.477.1(14 neres; Tnlted
Kingdom. 1.2''I,1S1 neres: Itnly. BK1.000
neres: Holland. "SC.010 neres; Sweden,
!Wl,07:i neres: Belgium. 348.31)8 neres;
Demnnrk. 13.1.:'.S7 neres: Norway, 1)0,
fifil neres: IJounianln, 20,042 neres;
Servhi. l.'.Sl'.i, nnd Bulgaria, 4181
In the matter of yield, Germany is
first with S"i.277.8nr hundredweight.
Ittifsin neennd with r 10.01. ."' Hun
dredweight, end France third with
2::1, Kit). 4 11 hundredweight. 1 be yiews
of other countries nre: Anstrln. 234,
100,082 hundredwelgh'-: t'nlted King
dom, l18.3tis.3S0 hundredweight: Hun
gary, 05.4 12.20.1 hundredweight; Hol
land. 77.020.500 hundredweight;
Sweden, C4.82l.800 hundredweight;
Belgium, 47.083,147 hundredweight;
Norway. 21.0O1.142 hundredweight;
Denmark. 21.177.081 hundredweight;
Itnly. 13.818.203 hundredweight: Ron
ninnla. 2.405,314 hundred we ght: Ser
vln. 835.083 hundredweight, and Bul
garia, 410,755 hundredweiglt. These
figures illustrate tho grent difference
in the yield per acre In tin different
countries. The United Kingdom, whlcb
Is sixth In arcn. Is fifth in yield, head
ing Hungary by nearly 23.000.000
hundredweight, although laving au
nrea of about 273,000 acres Uss. West
Tlr.t In War."
"First In war, first in peice, first In
the benrts of bis countrjmen," was
snld of George Washington by Gen
Henry Lee iif his famous lunerul ora
tion. The apostrophe wni also con
tained in the resolutions irepared by
Richard Henry Lee and ofered in the
House of Rerescntatives bf John Mar
shall on announcing th deuth of
Washington, but with thli slight vari
ation: "First In war, first in pence
and first in the hearts o! bis fellow
Anclaat Relle Dlara'arad.
'A relic of past years his Just beep
discovered In Ravenna, la the centre
of the square Magglore. The remains
of a "liberty tree." plaited In 1840,
were found burled benettu heaps of
rubbish, which bud been iccumulatlna
for years in the square. TJy order of
the municipal council the trunk, whlcb
Is still in a fair conditio!, of preserva
tion, has been dug up ind placed In
the City Hall. i
In order to prevent tbeextinctlon of
the chamois In tbs Bwl Alps a law
has peen passed In Gristnos, Switzer
land, prohibiting the shorting of cham
ois on the mountains. 4 real chamois
sua la now. worth $50.