HOOFLANO'S GERMAN 3ITTERS,
HOOFLAND'S GERMAN TONIC,
JUlI'MilW HV ,'. C. .V. JACKSVS,
l'mf -.-ci i' ti i a. I'i.
r, '''''' lm.--.vn r, u.ili! fir
I'i '.-i.iis of the Kidneve,
ERU;vIIO,of the SKIN, "
niul nil IIpi tts H ntittti; fiftiu A Did
tnilt rl l.hfi1, Hlmnlch. or
jMt lem or 'tut: jtr.ftftn,
- " 'J 1 I ' If ., "Mf
. t- '( f- r,jl
M:H''- i;X -t",t V ,,H f'.r
nr f---J'r ,:n f u!, rf -
Inl )(-''-.( in is fill -lc
Constipation, (VhituK'noo, Inward IiloR.
1 ul'. ihoi in. o tot!n' llftii'l. Acidity
o! : ho Stnimicli. NtiUHen. Hourf
jjiii'!, D'.sust t'ur J-'oo-i, F.iinosa
kit W eiht in t ho Btomnnji,
Hour krutit mion. Si?,k
1iC or t'iuiteruie nt the Tit '
ot Win fc?lo:n:K'h, JSwiTi-.imne of
tlu II !kJ, Huit'mI or DiiMoult
llrithin:. Viutt'Tiupr at tiio Hinrt,
Cnok nitf; or Sn rim. at iiik SoiiHtit mnn when
j n 1 fjy . pl P. is! r. n. I ), ;n uim ot V iftion,
ii.-ll P.iln I:i t)m Uoiul, Wli
civni'y ot i'fwspirtitioa, Vot-
loWiirs.H ot th'. iSkin mid
Ky 's, lJsw 11 in t no fir In,
Tvi'k, Cheat. Iinnbs, ptc buil-d-.:ii
Klushrs ul Heut, Burning in
1 ni I'losh, Con?t nt liruiKf nhius of
Kvil, Kiid Ui'mii DprcMsuii ot Spirits.'
-I'.'.'i " iicM.'t i!,i-iSi I't'- J.ir,f"i lvtfttft
( ii tut, : ui'n.fU ii-iiu 1 1 y iff btt'vi.
ijjoflrtiib'o CM-man tiittero
Ih m t ir-l - rrciu!l', nsirt i inlni no
1 1 1 imi. it t it r 41 111 jtiniinl ii f Klit 11 Ki
rii-. 'I'lw ttoolx, I tr ami 1 i i 1-Ic a
front lil-K tdi-xc ii'.iiu t nir ntndn
hit qtit liari'l In (t'l'innitv, All flic
liicdii ('inl t iiiu r, arc xlra'Mt l from
iticiik li' it m-t-ul t fit cUeiiiKt. Tiit-Kt
hIimiU lire tlirn I'oi'tviirilrd 1o 1 1a I it
tutiiiti tf 1- 1 c l iipvfwiily for the
i;iit ti a fit t uri' of lhcr ISIItr th. 'I'lir re
1.1 no nlenhoHt- h 11 1 1 ( -i ucc of nny kind
"Mil In roro jiotiniilnic tin- Hitter)
lit-iirr It Ih 1 Ik- mi I Hitler that inn
r nt'd 1 it .-iiM-M hvrr n lco!iollc at iui
ulatKs urr not ttil v luttdr.
tjottaubs Ocrmaa Conic
it a iombiHutiuH till (',.' ivijraiirntl uf the Jiiltfrt.
I 'd t
y UK i ' '( I! Z Hum. t'l tnfi?, tlr, it USttttT
urn hr i"n a (nc littt'm, in cat's where fyiie
:iJ ''', .'( : ."rv.I'iJ i f'ij lirci. JV.k will brar in
j."K''-f -ir. f'iiit-ly .linVifiir nwrt
i.r'-j .p.'.'.'iV.' ' 'u t-urf i i,- tttnii't
'.. , m (Wl.- ; r.;. ir,i:.'W " m-'iUcitml
'tj. n. 'di :'n (.', .,'.!( iiivi,r;i'..i4 f (t(fri
i ..-:.rvi. r- Ti'XH'l .!. ?yi.n- '
i! i-i ,f r-. 1.. i-i t,t.-ii-tt trrr i-Trrnt U the.
.' . 1 . .;'. ; : ,T f T f , !rt f,t:
il r ' ' iri" , 'j 1 ; .' ir.t'ii-y, t j iritlfintl
'' .'(.!( - :r.- f '1 kti jvu vtt ! yri.i.'(( t"
rimivn tkitN of riir. ultcii flic io
ft rut feitpito-i M hi wiirt aillirteil wltti
I li I l oi'i l ill stnc. hitrr ! 11 cntf il
t In un of 1 lir 1 ( in t-ill t ri'inc
r nine I a 1 Ion, tli-lttllty, 11 it f I ioiifh nrv
flic iimiiiI iiMcnilniitfl upon hcvrn
no of iIn pfprtln or ilii-n r.v of llif
it I tf k 1 1 vr oi-c;-iiiih. lOvcu In cnNcw of
fjcn 11 Irir Co.iMini pt f on. t Iw.nr i cincdtci
will 0" OmiihI of flu- 'irnli-Kf hnctttf
fct i cuiL; lie 11 tjii; mid In vlgorittlujj.
Tttrr it tio m t- t-il tr JcfJlri'Vg Ccrmnn
Uttr'V T f t'ur in mj. ; .. f'nti'i'. ' 'J'hf'j titltt tt
tftir itn-i ri.r ft. t'-r v'm- j jlttm. ftrrn-'ti,tu tut !
: f.'tt.'iy C ji'i'ti' '!' H, 1 rtiiii'.'t'fc fit y ,'(--k ti:ty
fr--:n 'ht ryr, in,f ft t !' U ht f'.' t.f. ,n chiuje.
f..c atir,U fyo.n a s','-rt-t.t;a:'mlt enuv utlr.l, wr.tk.
find n-rrou inralfl. tu a J'n!t-nCtdt et utt mtU viyjr
Weak and Delicate Children
tire imuic HtcOii ly itMttig- tbv Hittfru
or Tonic. In Itui. tliey arc Fuintly
I r ttli In i-m. '1' lie y can Ur il 111 1 n InI rr il
Mlrh pi-rfrt t Mintty tu a rlilld three
iiioiitliK old, the moMt tlclli.'atu frjiinle,
Oi h 10 n tt of uiiu lji
f 't h'ttHttiift ti i i"JiC 't'(
r.i ir Lti'nni. ami k-.ii tt all if.iMjij ) .gi(.'.. "ffwi
vn jtur ht.'f'l j i rr : ' J,"ir .ic.f rtj t j'lrr;
Iff ) ili'jtstoi '-nj-iiii n i j'-i4 :f . -.if' '(
f.y .''f fev '" I'; f ffd'UiU. Uf, uitxtU uiii
A W w m'm m n m 1
I. n die hi v. IhJi 11 fntr Kklii Mini
Contl 1:001 plcxlon, fill i"i . u u yi iloi
i It t i nue iiikI nil other tl I fij; u re 1111 lit ,
hIiohUI like tltt-te re 111 cit I va oeealon
11 1 ly. I'Ik I,! w r I n in-rfei t 01 tier, n ml
tu I1I11111I pure. t Hi rcbttil In KjurK-
llvuflamVt ; if -m )'t '.:.u-.r urr .Jif'rri itnl.
'J'.'tr tfftivttic Inn r thr iv'ul.urr uf t'. M. Jttr:.ntt
t n ttr frtAj uf Ihr cut. '.i'i f u it), r - t,t. U Oi t'tt. c I
thf Tt'-.-.-u :'ti,r irti.t U a n i,t (Un'U,ti!. .til .'.v.J
ThoiiiiiHiiH of Ictfi-rri lve lieen re
ceived, teM if to tlic lit ue of Hi eke
i'4ui J ;iMii v 111'- Mipi'i'lllC t'"l:l ! if J' 1 V;ltil:i.
rnji.iitti.i'iiu. Mn- 11 U'll.. 107.
7 fnd " -f.-iuaz utittutn ti'V-rs is n.t vn iuf't-
ic.lftll-J lirrt I, t-Ht IS :-.ti f- Ut. V if fit Hi thf.r-
arts if .' c -iv 5.(i'- ";in, (( l'' ;&' in
t-asrt if Jt1.-: it Awl n,'n: uf nrrr'.ui t.ci tu (lit
ot-.". if. nvtinrAJciK
FltOM HON'. ,MM!-;S Til iM!';;0.,
Jiulo - tin- Mt;.t 1,1c (' lit I 'if fV-mi- Iv.uila.
II r Ml :(!., AlUU lM'il.
i '.isfdri IIoo1.'mVk 1 inun Ult
In m" n ;',(;.' t,-
eli: tit I tn v.
can et til 'lit:
' t- Voiti
.';-'m iff In e;tite of at
I ion or lj spcpfcla. I
in--.it my t x pi i if lieu
:u lil.V. .!!.!
.1 tii 'i' .. ::
l "" o n-tu:e
. rusts u'i."
:-.'i.'.'J n r.
( t'V'.m (1y
it- y iii' ; (,, i.i'i
b.rd , rj-.,
j;"it 1 :tl it -1 : 1 i t y. ii.,
i'"iii-l it-it. i: i- .1 fi'if,
FuJiif i tir-t it mo i, t'.'i
ii tvi.7 bcWj'ui' I ti,
ttJUlt. J 'Ul.. !
i- 7 .mw .-,,., , f,v,f j, r
-':,. !it,.t . v,. . i.iiu (' ,r U r
il .ilu t' l" 1 T. pV.HjMi,. 7,4
'C -w.itl 'i. rr.. 1 n wi
.' h- .y.ih'rr i:i ailiCt
) 7 -''"'l.'v.
;y. y; .v.v.i .
Prlca of tho Uitcr. $1,00 j jr bottle
Or, tt Jmlt" doon lor $5.00.
Vfiuo oi" tho Toiuc, I.TjO pur buttle ;
Or, a half tloaun lor ij7.& J.
TIjc T'-Iifv- if i-ui u in .iu II f 1. :ti. .
-. '. ( .a' if it Vr. H' iho . r:uiu KenwIi'S
tU-lt 'iff HU'ir,ti:y fx -t ,'u-f . 1 1 i,i:,'.'
at; an t ii h -t '' Itru..-i 7 -...n f4
uAv nny .'m i- ' '.' '"' ij't nt fl.
enure ht W'fh-t n i'ny-f yt'f' 4,u 'iii i;'nii. j
mf c 4in! ''J jrtoeSS tu 011 J b.; ilii'j ltj;.-'U aj j-.aUnn
raiXi llAI. OPFU'Ki
AT THE GERMAN MEDICINE STORE,
Y". I:il A A'' 'il HTIi I I. t Vi.-7.i..'i.it4.
C1IAB. M. U'AIvB, Proprietor,
Turcerly C. M. JAGKl'ON' 4 CO.
T liee Jlciiicdlr a re for nle liy
Ii iiKK'"l f M011 keeper, luul .tlt di
tluu lieiilei M tvti wliei r.
o i"7 '".. tu , .0,,,, ,0 v.ti ,, lUti 1, y. u luytin
i jr a', i...
K VUU WANT TO BLi
ri.ttTlil.VU for the .llillion
Oo to A. lVUI.ACilKR, Agent,
i.IKNTS' FURNISIIIXG GOODS,
II ATS, CATS, H0 :T.S, SII0K3, TKPXB3,
THAV ELTXd Y,G?, &c.
ST. M.Liyrf, KLIi COUNTY, I'li.VN'A.
.4 TTEXTWX MILL O WXFH.S !
M1K KAliLE 1TKHIXE WATER
VHri; patented julvO, l.silT. is
itipetRT to :my wiicil in me. The iiii.Ut--igneJ
have tlie :i)te"cy lor said vlu'el in
hi! Slate of l'ennylvani'a, und can fucomi
land il as being the be?l. iiiiimifactured.
''or further pMiciilnrn. nnd circulars, in.
1 11 ii-e nt our Foundry iti Kersey, wliero
aaehiiiery, niill-jrcaring. enstins and steam
limine! will In' nde to order at reasonable
prieert. Wo expect by piving satisfaction
11 our work to receive a good sliuro of pub
J. F. KOBKUTSON,
Kersey, Klk Co., Pa., j an Hi IPC.Hpd.
CAIiH TDTiiK LADIES. Ir. Duimn-
co's (iOLt)KN PERIODICAL PILLS
k'lnaks. InlV.l'iible iu coiTeclinir irreff.
ilaiiiif, Reuioviug Obsiriictions of the
tlnmlily Turn, from whatever cause, ami
ilways suetessful as u preventive. One
:'ill isailo?!1. Females peculiarly situated,
.r those -u'po.-':n" themselves so, nro cim
ioned auainst using these l'i'.ls while in
hat conditio-!, lest lliey invitu miscarriage,
'tier which a-liuoniiiou tho Proprietor us
umcs no l'i'sponsiliilily, although their
iiildness would prevent any mischief to
icalili: oihel wise the Pills are recommeu
led as a Most Invaluable Remedy for the
.Deviation of those suH'eriiig from any ii '
egularitios whatever, as well as prevent an
ncieasc of family when health will not
ennit it ; tjuieting the nerves nnd bringing
mck the "rosy color of Iicallli" to tlie
heek nf the most delicate.
Full and explicit directions accompany
acli box. Price 1 per box : ti lioxes, $').
Sidd in Ridgway, l'a., by ii. II. Messen
ger, Druggist, uole agent for Ridgway. La.
iies. by sending him$l to tlie liidgway P.
can have the Pills sent (coufidcnlially )
mail tu any part of tho country, free of
st.ige. Sold also by Swayne & Reynolds,
. Mary's, and by one Druggist iu every
llage ill I he L'niou.
S. 1). HOWE,
y'J 1 v. Sole Proprietor, X. Y.
J)Al i S Tor FARMERS and others.
J I in- i i in mi Mineral Paint Co. arc now
iiaittiirturiug 'he Rest Cheapest and most
lura'h.e I'nint in u: ? : two c ulls w- 'i puf
in. miieJ wiih pure Linseed Oil, will last
HI or 1 years ; it isol'a light brown or
leautiful chocolate color and can be
dianged to green, lead, stone, drab, olive
r cream, to suit the taste of the consumer,
t f valuable for Houses. Hams, Fences,
'arriage and Car-makers, Pails and Wood
.n ware. Agricultural Implements, Canal
KontK. Vessels and shiis' Holtoins, Canvas,
Metal and Shingle Roofs, (it being Fire and
Water proof). Floor Oil (.'loth.-', (one Maun.
I'aoturer having used fjOiNJ bids, the past
year.) and as a paint for any purpose id
unsurpassed for body, durability, elasticity,
and a ihesiseness. Price per bbl. of
!IK) lbs., which will supply a farmer for
years to come. Warrenied in all cases as
above. Send fo u circular which gives full
particulars. None genuine unleas branded
n a trade mark Orafloii Mineral I aim.
Address DANIEL RIDWELL,
Pearl Street, New York.
For sale by Hyde, (JilliB & Co., at Kidg-
w ay .
.Sett. .1. 1.7. -Om.
l.Et'T CUE TO Yol'NO MEN JUST
published in a sealed envelope.
A Lecture on the Nature, lreatnient mid
Radical cure of Spermatorrhoea, or Semi
nal Weakness, Involuntary Emissions. Sex
ual lieiuuiv, ii u i liiipe'iiiiienis io inarriM'ie
L'enerall. Nervousness, Consumption, l'.p-
ilei.sv and Fits : Mental and Physical In
capacity, resulting ii'oiu icii-.-uju:c, ,v
bv it'ihci't J . i ulverell, .M. u., autnor oi
the "(irven liook,;! elc. Price iu a bealed
envelope, only six cenis.
Tin; celei'iated aulhor, iu this admirablo
essay, clearly demonstrates from a thirty
Veins' suecersful practice, that the alarm
in" conseuiiences of self abuse may be rail
ieallv cured without the uso of internal
medicine, or the application of the knife
imiiit itiir out a mode of cure at once simple
eei-taiii aiul effectual, by menus of which
everv sutlerer, no matter what his coudi
lion may be, may cure himself cheaply,
I'l'ivateh'. iiud radically.
na'i'J'his Lecture should be in the hands
of every ymilh and every man in the land.
Sent under seal, in't plain envelope, lo
any address, iiostjiai.1, on receipt of six
cents, or two post stamps. Also, Pr. Oil
ver well's ,r Marriage Guide, price -ojenls.
Address the PubHshcrr.
I II AS J. C. KLINE CO.,
127 Uowcry, New York,' I'. O. Box 4,580.
jan 1(1 lbi7
1)LACKS.MITirs CARl'ENTER'S AND
.ioim r's tools for sale " cheaper than
toe cheapest " at the ft. Mary s Hard war
S: TA(.S neat
'j ly primed i I the Advocate
jfl.ANI.O ul' ..il i.il.do iul' Laic Ul liilb
FOI1 Tllli KKiUT
,V. 1 TV II A L VISlOllY (V UAH IKS
DV TOM J :M:S.
?;iliii'3 a C (if two kinJ-3, tnalu tuil
female, and uiu ttsmilly put up in pack
aziis uf otic, thouoh sotii. 'times two, in
wliich easn they nru ctilleJ twinn, wlien
nearly nl the satne tire. They tire imt
coiifineJ to any partiovihir ljcality. hut
are louti'l plentitully dishihutetl over
all parts cl tlie itihahiteil countries,
Their ages are various and have wide
ratioc. We have known fhctn us yotin;
as 'tis easy to calculate time on a ivatch
ilial.utid then a;iu wo have seen thctu
where they have nciiurcil the healthy
atia of 25, with n prospect of ailvanein
still further to hahyhood. Their weight
depeuus a groat deal on their heft ; but
as they have twenty-otic years to t;row
in before it costs thctu anything, it don't
matter so much how big they happen to
be when they commence.
I'robahly babies have tnoru pot names
than any other known article of their
size-' In the tender years of life, say
the first two, they are lovingly adddress
ed by such endearing names as Old
Beautiful, Sweetness, Him Darliug,
Honeycomb, l'apa's Hope, Mamma's
Joy, Old Blessed, Noble Handsome,
supposed to be a contradiction of Old
Handsome, and hundreds of other ap
pellations which wo tiever could trans
For several year.", until they can pet
old enough to play n il ot doors and soil
their faces their lives are ono long con
tinuous game of Copeuhageu, cierybody
labo.ing uuder the delusion that all ba
bies are good for is to kiss, consequently
to see one is to kiss it. Wc cannot re
collect of ever finding ourselves in tho
presence of a baby, but what tho fond
mother would say to it, 'Mow be a good
little deary and give gentleman a nice
sweet kiss." Of course W3 accepted it,
though kissing ain't our forte. We are
iturally modest nnd don't care to bo
:en kissing auvhody, Wo don't hank.
er after it as (mine of our friends do. Wn
me willtug to kiss a pretty girl oeea
Motially, tor her mother's sake, or evet;
her own rather than have any trouble,
yet wo think it said pretty girl owed us
kiss, wc should .mien prcler to have it
remain on interest than to have it paid
wlien it became due ; wc never should
present our bill und demaud payment
not-if we continued perfectly sane. We
understand that there are (piito a nuin-
fV of persons who alitor lroui us in re
gard to kissing ; if so let them kiss, we
innot stop to argue the point, our sub
ject treats of babies.
The monotony of babies lives is va
ried by such liulo incidents as an attack
ot the measles, niumns, oi croup, and we
would not neglect to speak of cutting
teeth. A baby that lias got through
all these infantile troubles, is considered
worth some seventy-five dollars more
tlinu one who litis them in prospect.
The diseases are, however, ctisilv treat
ed, and iu case of the measles, all that
is necessary is to have them "break out
well, and to see to it that they don't
"strike in." With tho mumps, just let
them "mump" round a day or two, pud
they will come out all I'gbt. nil the
croup it is iicce.-parv to "strike ile,"
generally '.goose ile," and if applied in
season, twill soou lubneMo the throat
without much trouble, Cutting teeth
runs longer than cither of tho diseases,
yet by a timely investment of a rubber
ring anil latucyou geiri'i in a uoeiur sum.
When we were young, we cut our toctli
on u silver dollar, but as dollars tue now
made of paper, they won t stand the
wear and teat of a whole set of teeth,
ana lis cheaper iu me cnu ui iuvca, in
the lubber ring.
Learning to walk aud-talk arc two
achievements about which two much
cauuot bo said. The walking, though,
is a mere nothing cop.trcd to talking ;
vel it is more dangerous, and accidents
often occur; still they usually ticuii'e
the art with tho necessary breaking ot
some crockery or furniture, which they
frantically clutch ut iu order to save a
fall. During tho season ot practicing
nothing can drop iu tho house, or the
loatt noise bo made, but tho mother will
drop wha', ever she has m her hands
and cry out : "Their goes Wiifio; what
huj he done now !" and ru-hej to the
scene of action to Cnd perhaps a Uower
pot on the floor, and Willie engaged iu
scattering its oontonto about the room.
-41cr clearing up the debris, the mother
returns to her work, thanking liet stars
that it was only a oIio'imc verbeua that
was ruined, and not Willie's ncck.
The conversation at the beginning is
a little UHlCUil 10 uuuersiauu, a 1117
abbreviate a great deal, and
all pronouns as perfectly useless. Libt.
en'ui" to their talk is like attending au
Italian Opera; on) hears the lioe, but
can't tell wh.it if mean's. Tha lit'st
"papa" of "mama," distinctly sj.yl.ea, is
f1- K t X i
: ' Pi xft
AT A1,L, TIMES.
JUXE '27, 1808.
wortli five dollars to citln r of the de
lighted pitronts. Jlabies must not only
talk themselves, but must be talked to,
and the amount of baby talk used iu u
com noti s h! family is prodigious, lia
bv's appearance opens a new field to all.
The old hands, who have seen babies
before, ctiiveise ijnite fluently, but 'tis
ludicrous to hear a bcghiDcr undertake
to master this tongue. Talking baby
talk is an art which lew ever acquire to
perfection, though by constaut practice
the most stupid cm partially acquire it,
yet it takes two or three generations of
babies to make a perfect linguist.
The effect a baby produces on a fam
ily, no lnalter bow sober paid family may
be, is wonderful to behold. It com
pletely turns the heads of all. If a par
ticular one behave more insane or is cur
ried more away than the rest, we think
griMidnia will bear oil' tho palm, al
though, pa, ma, grandpa, aunt, and a
long list of cousins are not counted out,
by any means. We think the mother
acts the most sensible, though even she
has her failings and weak points in re-
gr.rd lo the baby, and will occasionally
exhibit a trace of insanity when dilat
ing on his charms and accomplishments.
The effect babice have on progression
is self-evident. No ono ever new of a
baby iufcrior to any other preceding
baby. On the contrary, each one is a
little in advance of any yet born; nnd
when wc thiuk of the vast number yet
to bo, and ho'V every ono will be a trifle
superior to its predecessor, what a glo
rious future awaits us ! We shall eveuts
ually reach perfection. How can those
persons who believe that rctrogade
instead of progress, reconcile this fact
with their absurd theory.
Some people, a little enthusiastic, look
upon a baby as "a thing ol beauty and a
joy forever." Now, we have seen some
whom wo thought had a liberal discount
oo their "beauty," aud their "joy forev
er" would quickly vanish on bavins;
them to commence to cry and "refuse to
bo comforted." when left in our charge,
and we busily cnuagod in reading or
It must be comforting to a man, no
matter how uglj or how ikspited ho may
be, to think that he was once a baby,
beloved by a krge circle ol relatives and
mends It is a confort wo would not
deny him. Thero are quite a number
of this world's people who were not lov.
ing babies a great while ; they arrived
at years when people ceased to love
them quite early iu life, audhave uever
been babies since.
Babies resemble wheat in many res
pects. Firstly, neither are good for
much until they arrive at maturity.
Secondly, both are brtd in the house,
and also tho flower of the family.
Thirdly, both arc generaly well thrash
if before tbev are done with.
("We don't know who originated the
alu.7n if wo did wc should propose a
monument of rattlo boxes to his mem.
fiti-f-A good story is told concerning
tho writing of Mr. J. W. Brooks, the
railroad manager, lie had written a let
ter to a man on the Central lloutc, u',ti-
tying hitu that, under tho penalty of
i-mscciitioM. ho luiut remove a barn
which in some way incommoded the
load. Tho threatened individual was
unable to road any part of tho letter but
tho signature, but took it to bo a free
pass on tho road, and used it for a con-
tiie of years as such, none of the
tors beiug able to dispute
tutiou of the doeumeut.
k'iy.ft a recent.wedding in Detroit,
the bridegroom was called on for a song.
He cheerfully promised to comply, and
said he would givo his friends a new
version of "Ilunkadori." On taking the
paper from his vest pocket, it proved to
be not a slin from . newspaper, as he
had calculated' but a greenback w hich
ho had intended for the clergyman's fee.
Imagiuo the bridegroom's couatcrntrtion
at tho trick ho hud unwittingly played
on tho clergyman ; and imagiuo also the
indignant surprise of the hitter when he
found only a new version ot "IluuUado
ri," when ho wanted some money for
marketing next day ? It is a well
known rule t f etiquette for the marriage
fee to bo viveti aud received quietly
The San Fraucisco Kxuintncr saya
that the three Pacific States, California,
Oregon und Nevada may be set dowu as
sure for the Democratic nominees iu the
next Presidential election. California,
it says, will roll up twenty thousand
Boston will celebrate independence
day this year without a civto procession
, and dinner. Aro therosomany Butlers
around that tho Hub is afiaia of tuo ta
. bk w.i.i '.'
t: " W"
' rt r.i IfJ . a
VOLUME El (7 tlTXUM HL'l! 1 1 .
vitiKF xori's l uau KxaiAxa i:s.
Lotta is r. Saratoga star this eea-nm.
Tom Thumb is high in Maso'T
notwithstanding his -tdioi t'.iess.
A " Lincoln Democratic club " has
beer, organized at Springfield, 111.
Two thousand Hebrews in St. Louis
protest against Irant's election.
One thousand dollars a week arc
epeut ou tho social evil in New Yol k.
Mr.i. Tester, formerly-Miss Bloom
cr, is giving lectures to the Mormons.
The only point (.limit h made
sinco his nomination West l'oint.
Only two of the Maryland delegates
aro opposed to Pendleton.
A Philadelphia heiress has just
eloped from l'tuis with a bogus count.
Kit Carson leaves five penniless or.
phan children, all under sixteen.
The man who raised a breeze will
try his hand at a crop ot onions.
Excursion parties go from San
I'rancisco to sec the great eruption iu
tho Sandwich Islandd.
-It was testified that Oallieott $20,
000 for his appointment. Who got it '!
There is an opportunity for Butler.
A Democratic Wigwam has been
opened iu 1'hiladelphia. It will seat
ono thousand persons.
Xewhousc, a rising KnglMi jockey.
weighs lorty-lour potinus. He ought
to liso easily at that weight.
A. T. Stewart, of New York, re
turns U(j7,4!I'J income. Some charita
ble person ought tc give him a dollar to
make it even.
The Cleveland Democracy propose
to scud two car.loads as their portion of
the "Pendleton cscoit" to the New
-What has become of Stanton ? Ho
has gone out like a penny dip. His
light has been thoroughly cxtin rui.shcd.
and will never again be rekindled.
Somebody having ptated that Orant
had no will of his owu, Prentice thinks
ho had better make one as soon as possi.
blc, in view of his political death.
Mrs. Cady Stanton scolds Theodore
Tilton because be will not " follow a good
mau with the -Democratic; party, rather
than help to place a drunken soldier in
the White House."
Forney is more ready to revive a
recollection of the scenes of tho war thau
he was to participate in them The
same can be said of the leading lladical
A Radical organ says that Grant
and Colfax " have no strength to dclib
erately throw uway." That is tho leas,
on why they stiek so close to the nigger.
He is much strong, is Sambo.
Dr. Potter, of Cinciuatti, left a for
tune to his heirs on condition that they
eschew tobacco. The lirst one of ihciu
who puffs a cigar blows his inheritance
to the four winds.
Tho friends of Pendleton who aro
expected to bo iu attendance at tho Na
tional Convention are so uumer "i t r. t
it is propositi to inula a vigviiio ".r
their special accommodation
The party which deliberate! hands
over the government ol tho fhiust conn
try in the world to negroes, traveling
gamblers and escaped couviets, is not
exactly the puny for the people of this
Tho Seneca Advertiser, of Ohio,
says : " A dog fight would have inado a
better show than tho Orant ratification
meeting did iu this place." Wo don't
doubt it, tor a dog fight might have
brought out Urunt himself.
Ordinary sports are dangerous in
California'. Not lon, since a game of
marbles was ended by tho stabbing ot
one infant by another, hhI now some
difficulty about baso ball has been set
tled by an impromptu duel with kmves.
An unpoetie English antiquary has
discovered mat et. uoorgc, tne uragou.
slayer and knightly patron'of J-.ugland,
was au aimy contractor', who made his
money by furnishing decomposed bacon,
for which hs naiiuwly escaped lynching.
The' Revolution tells us " there are
plenty of lad i is quite equal to tho V'ioto'
r'as, Annies aud Elizabeths of England,
tho Theresas of Austria and the Calhar.
incs of Ru-aih." Wo have not met this
item ot news iu any other paper.
The Richmond Examiner' says that
"'the present agitation ;s an irrepressible
cuufiic: which will never end flntil jus
tice is done or the heavens fall." t on.
scqucntly it is trwng to convince the
, heaven- that .hey on :ht to jail,
.1 arjuvur:. jiomawu.
"Kvelyn," tho New Orleans ei vrc.-
pnrnLut of tho Molill -' " 7V"-t
write : f-'o noil ing like i -
young M ,.tlio f.on oi
wealthiest iiu-ii in Louisian.. : -,i -i' . iy
in love with a young lady of a n-aghb'T.
ing pavisli. His love wn. r-M:v:vl .with
Wa.'intb, and they were en;-need. But
now au obstacle entne iu then way.- MV.
father opposed the mai'.ii. !'uv s -.-.i,
lime he kept this a secret frem his ji
ui;C, and meanwhile she was tnakiug
preparations for her innrruige. She was
an orphun. 1 ' i. had been left a Finall
properly, which, vnluiiblc before the
war, brought ' r I ut ltl.fi' over 8,000.
This (die expended upon l:cr lrmssnn',
feeling that, ti:-: h". mi-nded husha: ',.
was rich, she ' -. i i.-t n-.vwtity f'-v
ing, and that fh-tM maki- '
i K-o worthy of Mtt-'f slat: 1
. .in - ! ; -, iear when they
b" uii.tini, seemed to .-. '- .;
toward her, and grew cool and
In vain she tried, with nil li r -i
which h.vo could suggest, p -. -v the
secret of tho change, but ' '1
confide in her, and she could on'., 1
and wonder. At last the time fixed io
tho ceremony euinc, and M was
forced to make a confession. He said
his father forbade the match, that he
had supposed her an heiress when ho.
cn-ajred himself to her, and now ho
could not marry lid' ajainsi his dear
father's will. The shock which ibis
gave the young girl can bo imagmrd.
Naturally, ono'will ssy that chc should
have despised him, and fc It lierseit for
tunate iu makiug her eseeps ; but ou
the contrary, it was then only that tdio
felt how much she loved him. t'Lo had
given herself without reserve, a.id, so
far as she was concerned, she vas his
forever. For the next year and a half
she was in a couvent, entirely excluded
from the world ; but some two months
ago she was persuaded to como to this
city, and icniaiu here for some two cr
thiec weeks. Ono day she received ti
letter which seemed to disturb hoi, and
on going to her mom later, a friend
lound her on hciv knees praying lot the
mau who had deserted her. lie was
very sick in tho country, and begged
her to come to him. On that vcrry day
M 's father died, and the funeral
ti'.tico was handed to her as she, stepped
into tho carriage to go to thejears. For
a week uothiiig was beard from her, but
sonu we got tho liualo of tho romance.
The girl had gone immediately to M's
bedside, and found him very ill, attend
ed by his two sisters 11c told her that
he was dying, and ,iow that his father
was gone, w ished to make her his wife.
They were married. A will was uiado
by him givii.g her one half of his largo
fortune; the other half t" his two sisters,
and the next day he followed his father
1',-oni earth. Contrary to the advi.ee of
her friends, the young maiden widow
announces her iiitctiliou of retiring to
the convent for life.
JOSH HI j.JjlXtfx OX TOMATOES.
It is now about H or elevt-D years sinco
folks began to hanker after the T'jiuti.
About that time some dektor ov pills
dissected ono ov these vagrant vegeta
bles and discovered l'o.uc doktor stuff iu
As soon ai the folks found out they
was lizic they beguu to bo very sweet ou
At that time they was in the habit of
growing in sly places, where they wau't
afraid, over behind stone walls, among
biokeii jugs, ded fcats, and old'injiu rub
ber b;ots. for people wou'ld't let thou
i grow in g'i: oeii- ciiny mure than they
wviIm a kanadv tb:--sel.
They was vagabond weeds, and eve:;
a wood hog wouldn't eat ou-; ov i'k I -. r
rys that gr. s ,.i them ontiy qui-'kei
than h- ',- a V-awl ol .' 1 .' '-. '!
Bu: it :!. il'?i. l-.it t! -y. ..: ..t.u
;;i thcru, ami thev WaJ pa- ?' n;:i-.:-,
iu poi and v.is.'.s uu-l live! ' !! i '::n
of the '.aud, in hot In-ises . I . jiu-J
tiger lilyj and ri-.-e- ' a.
l took most loiu. ! ' of p :'
severance mid sea sick ties,- -to a '.!.'-
teiiiatocze to go quitly down, and frun; a
nile weed more innelling than a deceas
ed chuii, the tuniater has actnoally got.
tew bo more honored than a buckwheat
tlapjaek or even pumpkin pi.
This shows what love and ntlucsiiun
1 haven't any doubt that if Profess
Ratsbane would say professionally that
was) m sts was good to make a munlash
grow black, half the :.jlii in the country
would get a wasp aud go into tho uest
don't believe a tomatnr will keep a
man nny more Healthy thau red clover
wib, imt i am just like every one else, 1
wauti d to get some belter than 1 was,
and 1 went to school lo the (milliter; and
have got learnt how to eat them, it they
are filled wilh.-alt and pepper and tout,
ed well in good tider viuegar.
But ton'iutoz'e have worked themselves'
tip in uctc-oiiy, and 1 am not tho mau ,
to injure lcputushuu, for 1 believe an
iunoccijt humbug haz as much right to
win (if they kin) as auy other man.
1 huv.: seiu folks pick ihem oj h from'
the vims in iho garden, and eat them
right down fflive, jwould as soou under
tak to cat a l.andfull of pjty'.
IIi.w to iu
novo a young lady's
hints put one l.ii-,
;Ui' into iier t '.ekit.
Iroil tl.' ; aud d-d-
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