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Sir William Vernon Harcourt thinks
that England's foreigu relations wore never in so threatening a condition since the memory of living man. Boston is planning for its southern railroads a now union station, to bo tho biggest in tho world; but the golden dome of the State house will still bo tho hub of tho univorso, an nounces tho New York Recorder. Postmaster Dayton, of New York city, says that ouo-cont postage will not come, and ought not, until the postal service supports itself. At present tho postal deficit is about $10,000,000 a year, jyhilo Hie English post office pays a profit of $10,000,- 000. Traveling churches aro to bo es tablished on tho Trans-Siberian rail way, which passes through many des ert tracks, where neither village nor church cau bo met with for miles. Cars fitted up for diviue servico will bo attached to tho trains for tho bene fit of the officials. Dr. Cyrus Edson's new treatment for consumption has not had so sen sational a rccoption as has been ac corded many scientific discoveries in recent times, but the results already achieved are generally regarded, Pu blic Opinion reports, as establishing a strong presumption in favor of the truth of Dr. Edson's theories. Thomas Cnrlylc, demanded more than bnlf a century ago : "Why in thero not n majesty's library in every county town? Thero is a innjosty'e jail and gallows iu every one." The American majesty is the people, and Carlyle's reproachful question mod ernized and localized demands: "Why is thero not a people's library iu every town?" According to the Atlanta Coustitu tion "tho South has moro than hold her own. She has had fewer fnilures, with smaller liabilities than any other section. Our farmers have diversified their crops, and they have solved the problem of living at home. They no longor depend upon tho packing houses and granaries of the west. Out mills and factories ure rapidly multi plying and paying sploudid divi dends." The Fennsylvanin road is adopting a now system of electric signals. It consists of long metal arms extending from the roof of tho train-shed to within a few feet of the top of the cars, ouo being directly over each track. A lantern with a red slide is nttached to the end of the arm. When the train is ready to start tho gate man closes the gate nnd pushes a but ton, which causes tho red slide to full, showing a white light. Hungary, which, by ethnological rules ought to bo in tho rearguard of human progress, continually sots the rest of tho continent examples in civ ilization. Its Liberal ministry has now addressed u decreo to the Uni versities of Buda-Pestb and Kluuseu bnrg, ordaining that heronftor women shall bo admitted to academic studios and bo allowed to lit themselves for tho professions of teachers in secondary female schools, physicians for women and children and dispensing drug gists. "Should clergymen advertise, and how?" was tho subject of a recent symposium in tho Chicago Tiines- Hcruld. Present interest in the sub ject was aroused by the action of the pastor of a Chicago Baptist church, who took what seemed to many tho bold step of advertising his church services by posters. Yet tho clcrgy mou invited to givu their views on the matter could, on sober reflection, find little to say in condemnation. A few, especially among tho Episcopal and Presbyterian denominations, thought it u lowering of the dignity of tho church. But tho majority of tho others could see no material differ ence, in point of othics or dignity,be tween advertising in tho news papers, to which common prac tice no one objects, and ad vertising by posters. Ia fact, as many pointed out, tho poster might bo more effective in attracting tho atten tion of just tho peoplo whom the church should most desire to reach. There was a consensus of opinion, however, that the posters should not ape theatrical advertising or bo sen sational in form or substance, though one clergyman hnd no objoction to colored poaters. To his mind a red poster was no more wicked than a black one, and he saw no good reason why the devil should have the most attractive poster. It was brought out in the discussion that church poster advertising, though novol in Chicago, is common enough in London. MAKING RAINBOWS. '•Tho heart could have no rainbows had tho eyes no tears." linking rainbows! Smiles through tears, Light through durknoss, i Hopes through fears. Making rainbows! Ease through pain; Peace through suffering, Hope again. Making rainbows! Joy through grief, Host through trouble, Sweet roliof. Making rainbows! While you may. In tho storm-clouds O'er life's way. Making rainbows! Hearts are sad, Share your gladness, Make tliom glad! Milking rainbows! Blissful art, Dealing every Broken heart. Making rainbows Ouo by one, Till tho Master Says "Well done." Making rainbows! 'Mid earth's sighs; Milking rainbows For tho skies! —H. E, Banning, in Folk Lore. HIDING FOll A FALL, BY r. M'Aurnrn. T was a perfect day fd jf pi for wheeling. Even V ' IIMB " 10 B ''Bht eea breeze that took tho curl i WjjJrfi out of their bangs ' tts they sat on the 4, piazza oi' the O'rihuu M Ilqi> House, seemed to i UT 'te Florence nud her chaperoning Aunt to go for a •H Spin. But that good ~ I.- fellowship necessary to an enjoyable trip did not exist, be caUGO Florence hart a well-founded sus picion that her dear Aunt had that morning intercepted a letter from Fred Lumsdeu, nnd the Aunt, was feel ing that her wholly unprejudiced lec ture on the evanescence of misplaced love nnd the durability of American dollars was not being properly appre ciated. It is jirobable that, in spite of the glorious weather, nothing more exciting than an ordinary family quarrel would have happened lmd it not been for tho effervescing energy of Fred, who appeared ou the scene in that unexpected way peculiar to true iovers. "Good morning, ladies!" ho called, with an effort at boldness that only made tho blood mouut to his cheeks. "Beautiful day—or—isn't it?" "Beautiful 1 I'm so glad to see you," said Florence, with an accent of sincerity that was perhaps empha sized in order to spite her Aunt. "Perfectly charming," said tho aunt, in tho tinkling tones that re minds one of tho chink of the ice in a glass ot frappe tea. "I did myself tho honor to cail on you," Feed explaiued, as he leaned his wheel against tho hotel steps and took a chair near Florence, "because lam going West to-morrow,. I havo secured a position as civil engineer with a Western railway company that is projecting a branch lino, and as I had tho day to spare, I thought I'd come down an-i bid you good-bye." "So kind of you. 1 am sure," said the dear Aunt. "I am so glud—for your sake, Fred—that you havo this position, for I think a young man should begin his life work as soon after leaving college as possible. I have no doubt that, iu a few years, you will be a railway magnate." Sho rattled on volubly iu this vein for a couple of minutes, and all the while her words had the glib souud of wine being poured out of a narrow necked bottle. It is a note that you catch only in tho best society, and it means that, the accomplished lady who is talking is all tho time thinking hard about something else. Tho tenor of tho Aunt's thoughts wero as follows: "I musn't allow them to bo alone together. I know what these pnrtings mean. Ho has come down to propose to her, and she—the little hussy—will accept him. If I lock her iu her room it will causo talk, and 1 can't keep track of them all day iu these corri dors. O, what shall I do?" When tho light finally broke, a practiced ear could havo detected a change iu her tone, as she exclaimed enthusiastically: "Really, Fred, I am glad you have come down, for I havo been planning for several days to take a party from hero to tho little casino they have nt Olam-Shell-ou-tbc-lien, about fifteen miles down tho const. We can spin down there in a couple of hours, havo somo refreshments, and then spin back in timo to catch your traiu lor Now York." "They will bo along with the other young people," sho thought to her self, "and will bo kept moving so that they can't have a long chat, and, any way, it is hard to be confidential on a public road at midday." Tho caso didn't striko the young people in exactly tho same light, and thoy accepted graciously. The Aunt hastened to canvass tho guests at the hotel to get volunteers for the trip, and introduced Fred to so many charming young ladies during the next few minutes that he was em barrassed beyond words. Presently the party was organized, and made a start, amid much light hearted laugh ter and badinage. Tho good, kind chaperone brought up tho roar, feel ing triumphant and self satisfied. "If thoy can pedal and propose at the same timo," she thewo'-r. to her self, "thoy aro cloverer than I think."' For the first milo the crowd was well bunched and nothing happened. At length Fred found himself at Flor ence's side and managod to stammer: "Don't y-you feel you'd like to spin a little faster?" A glance showed that sho under stood, and a moment later thoy wero quietly drawing away from tho party. "Hello !" exclaimed tho inevitable idiot; "have we scorchers with us? Well, I feel like doing a little scorch ing myself 1" With that they all struck into a gait that left tho chaperone behind, but overhauled the runaways. That scheme was undoubtedly a failure. "Let us fall behind then,*' suggest ed Fred. After a slight hesitation, for sho did not wish evorv one to sec what her feelings woro, Floreuco slowed up uud soon sho and Fred were abreast of tho dear, good Aunt, who had noticed thoir ruso and was following, panting butltriuuiphftut. "Really, it is kind of yon," sho panted; "I am so glad you were thoughtful enough to wait for me. I am willing to go along just as slowly as you please, for I love to look at tho scenorv." Fred groaned and Florence bit her lips. Now, so may woudor why thoy did not strike down a side road and leave the party altogether, but it must bo remembered that their love-making had not progressed yet boyond tho language of the eyes and of the hand clasp. It was only tho prospect of a parting—perhaps for years—that made their love so intense at this time. Fred's attentions had been frowned on for tho past year by all of Flor ence's relativer, for they all were agreed that a student has no right to make lovo to a girl whoso irieuds arc ambitious for her future, unless ho is hoir to millions. Fred was not, so, of course, lie was ineligible in every way. When he fouud that both attempts to bo alone with Florence, and tell her what was in his heart, were unsuccess ful, ho was almost in despair. Aud the dear chaperone grow happier every minute and prattled gaily about tho weather aud the scenery. In the mean time tho scorchers slowed up, as no one had any real object in keeping up the pace, until tho party was reunited. It was then that an idea occurred to Frod that proved that ho has engineer ing skill that will enable him to rise in tho world some day. "I'll tell you what let's do," ho called out. "Let's scorch from here to tho casino, and kavo the last mau who gets thero pay for tho refreshments, and let tho first lady to urrivo be given a prize of her own choosing." Ho had gauged the enthusiasm of tho party to a nicety, and beforo tho good chapcrono could protest effec tively, all tho young people had gripped their handle-bars, leaned for ward and commenced pedaling for dear life. They drew away from her rapid ly and woro coasting down n long in cline before she had timo to even guess at Iho significance of Fred's scheme. Boon a turn in tho road took the whole parly Irorn her view, nnd she chewed tho wholly bitter cud of reflection. Tho best laid plans of mice, men and chaperono3 aro very apt to go agloy from timo to timo. Fred's heart rose correspondingly as ho saw how well his scheme was working. Ho ealulated that they woro traveling at about twice tho rate of speed oi tho chapcrono, and that with in half an hour they would bo far enough ahead for his purposes. Flor ence didn't understand exactly what his plau was, but sho kept tho paco aloug with tho foremost. Sho ap peared to advantage on the wheel,and, as her color rose with the exertion, ho thought he had never seen a lovelier sight. Her little athletic figure seemed to swim through the air with that pe culiar grace that tho poets nscribo to tho gait of goddesses. Though ho could, if lio wished, havej scorched ahead and distanced her with oasc, lio could not bear to have her out of his sight. So it was soon evident that ho would have to pay for the refresh ment. Up lull and down they went without abating their speed until tho chapcrono was properly three or four ini'.ei behind. Presently they coasted down a hill into cv little valley where tho road was wooded 011 both sides, and Fred saw that tho opportuuo mo ment had come. Guiding liis wheel till ho was near enough to Florence to whisper, ho said: "Wouldn't you like to rest for a few minutes 1" Hho mado no response, but kept right on. "We havo both lost tho wagers any way," ho urged. Her only notico of his remarks was a slight heightening of color. ' '.Miss Camden—Florence!" "I musn't," 6ho half-gasped, "I did wrong to run away from Aunt." "Well, wait for her, and I will too." "No." Tho truth was that Florence's maiden modesty was beginning to as sert itself, and sho had been thinking that iu attempting to rush ahead with Fred, nnd then to fall behind, she had been too forward. Poor Fred I In hia collogo courso ho had been t luglit to deal with the laws of nature, but not with tho whims of a woman, and ho was almost uonplossed. Already tho others of the party wero passing over tho crest of tho hill, and thoy were in danger of (leaving tho little valley without anything being accom plished. But L still Florence kept scorching along. Even despair adds to tho resourcefulness of some meu, and suddenly tho lines of Fred's face hardened and ho raced past her up the hill. When ho had gauged tho dis tance and direction accurately, ho turned nnd waved his hand at her as if waving "good-bye," while his wheel went directly towards a log that lay by the roadside. A moment later ho struck nnd whirled through the air entangled with his wheel, with his arms and legs flying like a windmill. He was picking himself up as sho passed. Sho wavered, the wheel wobbled as if sho were going to alight, but she straightened up and disap peared over the crest of tho hill. His despair was complete. Ho didn't care if ho had ruined his wheel or shat tered his anatomy. His heart, liow evor, was the only part of him that was injured, and it was rapidly sink ing out of its normal position. Ho had certainly been mistakon. Sho didn't care for him. Ho hudn't had such a fall in his life, and yet she had left him thero to die—for all slio knew. Of course he had intended to fall, but tho noxt time he fell to attract the atten tion of a heartless girl, he would do it on a bed of moss rather than on tho sido of a chestnut log and tho rough edge of a gravel road. Without look ing to seo how much ho had damaged himself, smarting inwardly nnd out wardly, ho sat down on tho log, buried his face in his hands nnd felt utterly miserable. Ho was beginning to hate himself, Floronoe, hor aunt and tho whole world, when suddenly ho felt a light hand on his shoulder. "Oh, Fred, are you really hurt? I saw that you really intended to tako that tumblo, but it was horrid of mo to go along without asking if you were hurt—when I knew you had dono it for°my sake." The humor of taking a bonder for anyone's sake did not appeal to either of them just them. "Are you hurt?" It was his chance to snlk, anil what man can resist sulking when ho has tho most charming girl in tho world to coax him into good humor? "Speak io me, Fred. You nro not hurt, aro you? O, you must bo ! Your jacket aud—and knickerbockers aro torn, and you must be. Shall I get you some wator from tho spring? O, do speak I hook up at me 1" Sko pulled his hands from his face, and us ho looked up, he saw that tlioro wore tears in her eyes. Just then Florence gave a little scream. "O, Fred, thcro is Auntio coming over tho hilt 1" That was nil tho tonic ho needed. Seizing her hands, he exclaimed hur riedly : "Florence, you know why I wanted to bo alone with you. I love you— have loved you for months 1 lud now that I am going away I want to know if thcro is any hopo for me. Will you bo inv wife?" Sho looked down tho road at tho ap proaching Nemesis. "Will you be my wife? I know I don't deservo you, but I will work; I will work. Soino day you may love mo a little." Sho blushed, then glanced at the figure coasting down tho hill. "Fes, Fred! Yes! O, do let us hurry away. Aunt will bo hero in a minuto or two." "Then you do love mo!" A moment later she was folded in his arms. What tho sun saw and tho cbapeiono buspoctod need not bo de scribed. A moinout later they wore wheeling along side by side, uttoriy oblivious of ovorything on earth but each othor. When they reached tho casino tho rest of tho party had orderod their refresh ments, and wero piling up a goodly bill for tho loser—who was so infinitely a winner. Ho explained his loss by the tumblo ho had taken, and praised Florence for her kindness in waiting for him. When the chuperone arrived, Florence's absent-mindedness and high color and Fred's elation told her ail. Not buttermilk, uor ice-cream, nor nil the soda syrups of tho world, could incdicino her to that sweet peace of mind she had enjoyed before Fred had appeared ou tho scene. If sho wore not so far from home sho would prob ably havo indulged in a fit of cultured hysterics; but sho cousolod herself with the thought that match-breaking isalmostas enjoyable a sport as match making. Fred and Florence aro not married vet, and much is being douo to worry thorn ; but the reader may rest assured that it will not bo long before a youth so resourceful will win tho snocoss that will enable him to come Hast and claim his bride.—Now York Truth. Hold From Sea Water. Again they are talking of extracting gold from sea water. The Electrical World describes a method suggested by the London Electrician, as follows: It cousists in using plates of iron as anodes and plates of amalgamated copper or zinc as cathodes, which in some eases may bo arranged to hold a certain quantity of mercury; tkeso plates form, in conjunction with the son water, an electric battery, or may bo connected to a dynamo ; the gold, it is claimed, will be deposited on tho copper cathode or on tho mercury, it being supposed to ho in combination with iodiu ; the chief point is to havo the greatest possible volume of sea water pass between the plates. Wnslo Energy of an Avalanche. A French engineer has thought it worth while to calculate tho wasto en ergy of tho great avalaucko of Gommi, in the Alps, which fell last September. Ho makes it 1,100,000,00!) metre tons, or, roughly, three times tho same number of foot tons; that is to say, tho energy needed to lift some 13,000,- 000,000 tons a foot high. Tho fall lasted a minute und iu that timo de veloped about a million korso-powers. If tho energy could have been turned into electrio current it would havo fed 90,000 sixteeu-caudle-power iucau desceut lamps fivo hours a day during a wholo year.—Chicago Kocord. Origin of Bagpipes. Those who imagine that tho "skirl" of tho bagpipe was first hoard on Cal edonia's shores will find their beliof distnrbod by tho fact that the instru ment was known in Babylon. Tho Assyrians took it to India, while it was played in tho tomplo servico of Jerusalem. In England it was used soon after the Human conquest. THE FIELD OF ADVENTURE. THRILLINOF INCIDENTS AND DAR ING DEEDS ON LAND AND SEA. The "Siege of Wolves"—Towed by a Team of Whales—llls First Fight- ing Fig, Kte. MI!. OlLMAN—"JoeOilman" in Tamworth (N. H.) town was long a prominent mnn d everybody called him— affairs. He was always interested in tho lore of the mountains, and es pecially in tho legend of Chocoruu, and the story of the ".Siege of Wolves." It was in telling tho story of that "Siego of Wolves," the fume of which spread through more than tho allotod five counties, that he excelled. Mr. Oilman, who moved to Tamworth tho year after tho event, was tho iirst to tell it in print, which ho did years ago in a local paper. " *I'WBS in 1830, nnd tho folks had been pestered long by occasional losses of sheep and calves at pasture. These became frequent. Even tho larger cattle wore not safe. The dep rodatious becamo unbearable. Each night the woods resounded with wolf ish howls. Tho cause of the fright ened, huddled flocks, of the torn legs and side 3 of the cattle was no secret. "At last some stray hunter located a lair of tho wild canines back of 'Eagle Cliff,' around which forest fringed crag they made merry o' nights. Cold weather came on, and tho wolves got more numerous, more hungry, more fierce. Tho wolve3 of Great Hill became too well known for miles around. Their suddon, cruel levies on the farmer were less welcome than the first American tax on tea. Thoro was no lantern hung in a tower, but thero was a midnight rider, and at 1 o'clock one autumn night the alarm was carried into four towns by aston ished but fast galloping horses. "The yeomen gathered. They roused from dreams of fat cattlo on a thousand hills to think of wolves on one hill. Tales of wolfish orgies aud torn mutton wore magnified. Scarcely a man for sixteen miles around who could but responded vigorously. A gigantic husking or a minister's dona tion party would not have served better to attract. The summons was to come urmed, aud a motley arma ment it was. Pitchforks, clubs, axes, old worn-out flintlocks, but a goodly number of guns of a definite aim. The women cheorod on. "Full GOO strong thoy gathered at noon, Novembor 15, 1830. They bi vouacked near Tamworth Village. From tho houses near refreshments were sent out. It was a volunteer army. Old General Quimby, of Sand wich, was an old lighter, and he was made Captain. Many old veterans were there. A regular plan of siege was laid out, tho ground surveyed aud sentries posted. "Tho sentries gradually closed their lines on Great Hill. Housing fires kept them warm and frightened the enemy to still deeper reoesses of tho woods. At last 6UO men surrouudod a forest tract of about twenty acres. Twenty sharpshooters were posted with orders not to allow n wolfish eye to pass unnoticed. Horns and voices were used at their loudest. There may have been a hundred wolves in that woods—thero must havo been fifty— but not a glimpse was hud of oven a whisking tail. "All day tho din continued, tholines gradually drawing in. At dusk more fires were lighted. An occasional sharp rusllo of the dry loaves, the gleam of wild, frightened eyes, a sharp wolfish howl of disappointment and rago, aud a cowardly.rotreat. But the lines now sharply closed. Round and round dashed the now frantic beasts. Their fury was vain. One attempted to steal through tho line, but a sharp rap with a pitchfork changod his mind. The very woods seemed to howl. The mad beasts flow from ono line to an other. At last tho courago of tho rats, which fight fiercely when cor nered, took possession of the infuri ated nnimuls. "They charged the thin line of men furiously. Perhaps terror struck to the hearts and disturbed the nim of the angry pioneers. Anyway, in a very few moments tho wolves had vanished, outside the linos. Six hun dred men on tho night of the 10th of November could not scare up a single wolf. "Just iivo had boon Uillod. "but tho hunt had accomplished its end. Many no doubt wore wounded and died in the forest. Tho rest were seared more thoroughly, probably, than White Mountain woives were ever scared before. To this day not a wolf has beou soen or hoard ot within the confines of the region. Yet dear, an occasional wildcat, and a few bears are killed every winter in tho mouutains close at hand. "After the victory, the spoils. Five itoiul wolves were uot very valuable. But the wholo towu had a merrymak ing. It was like a ruuster clay. Down the hill to the village came the troop. The news had preceded them. A great boulire was built, and tho dead wolves wero exhibited. In a very cheerful mood tho Selectmen gave the hunters SBO for their prowess." Towed by Whales. A Monterey (Cal.) dispatch to the San Francisco Examiner says : Though it is nearly a week since Captniu Fedro caught his twain of whulos- cow and calf, ho calls them— Monterey has not exhausted the sub jeot. From Del Monte to Pacific Grove one hears of little elso. Captain Pedro knows all about whales, for he has handled a harpoon for thirty-one years. East Monday a school of a dozen or more whales eame into the bay, blow ing and spouting at dilFereut points. Tho eight made Pedro ambitious to give his greeu crew a chaueo to try their hands and ho ordered otlt one of tho two boats with which the newly established whaling station is equipped. Aftor considerable trouble tho Cap tain rounded up an infant whale—a sea calf. Tho raomontum of tho boat was cheeked, there was an instant's pause, then a plush and tho harpoon struck homo. Captain Pedro anticipated lit tlo resistance. The whale was too young to mako much of a fight, and ho felt sure oi an easy victory. Ho failed, however, to figure on the cow, which was lurking near her offspring. Liko a flash sho was off' to tho rescue and beforo the skippor could prevent sho had entangled her flukes in tho rope attaohod to the harpoon. Straight for the open sea, at a speed of fifteen miles an hour, the pair of whales headod ; and tho Pacific still tormented by tho storm of tho previous days, was rough and choppy—making tho situation as a whole, a trying one for a crow of groen whalers. One of them implored tho Captain to cut tho rope, but old Pedro, without deigning to reply, watched from his vantage point in the bow of the boat for the inevit able slackening of tho line that ho know must come. And come it did after the boat had been hauled for two miles and was abreast of tho lighthouse on tho point. As cautiously as an angler would handle a trout the slack was taken in and they were soon close upon the ex hausted pair, when two shots from tho bombguu plucod cow and calf out of misery. His First Fighting Pig. I was sent to a little outwork on tlio borders of Gornkkpur, as lonely a spot as there is in India, and it was thero that I first encountered tho fighting wild boar of the country. In my first attempt to tackle him my career was nearly ended in an ignominious man ner, and I was only saved by tho cool ness and courage of a native attend ant. Wton word was brought to-mo ouo evening that a boar had passed through tho factory grounds, I had not a hog spear in my possession, my only weapons of otfenso and dofenso being an old cavalry sword and tho much prized revolver. Nothing dnuutcd, I determined to eomo to closo quarters with that pig, so I sad dled one of the horses and followed quickly in pursuit, tho sword dangling by my side, and revolver in hand. When I got on terms with tho boar, ho took refugo in a largo pieoo of scrub jungle. Bursting with excite ment, I dismounted, and crept in after him on my hands and knees. Thero he stood, lookingnt mo with those wickod eyes that a hog hunter learii3 to lovo so well; so, resting tho revolver on my nakod sword, I took deliberato aim and shot piggy somewhoro about the shoulder. Thoo, for tho fir3t time, I hoard tho sharp, loud snort of dolianco, and be foro I could fire a seooud time I was on my back with the pig standing over me. Fortunately, one of the vil lagers, a fine, stalwart Rajput, armed with a big native spear, had crept in at my heels, and before the boar could follow up his advantage ha was pinned by the spear in time to allow mo to regain my feet. The native and I then finished him oft'between us in tho open. Hiuce then I havo had m:i - a good gallop alter pigs, but I neve, again got so completely mixed up in a rough and tumblo encounter. My wide white trousers saved ine, tho pig ripping thorn from top to bottom, and it was fortunate for 1110 that I had not time to get into tight fitting riding gear before leaving tho bungalow.— Gentleman's Magazine. A Tramp's Awful Experience. "Awful experiences? Yes," said the tramp, us ho sit tit a Holland stroot kitchen table on Thursday fore noon and cut into tho second piece of custard pic. "I was sleoping soundly in a box car out in lowa one night last summer, and tho wind was blowing like thunder ucross tho plains. Suddenly that car got loose— the brakes broke or suthiu' and it begun to ciawl alougout of the siding aud onto tho maiu track. It was nuts for me. 1 thought the wind wouldn't blow me far aud so I kept on. I stood in the door aud saw tho fences go by faster aud faster, till all of a sudden I realized that I was going too fast to get off, an Ino way of stopping it. Half an hour after we—tho ear and I—dashed through a little station aud 1 had just timo to seo tho telegraph operator run out and look after us and then ruu back to telegraph down tho lino to clear the track. We wero going more than a mile a minute, aud my hair was standing ou end. Forty miles down the lino we went through another sta tion, and on a siding I caught sight of an eugiuo with steam up, and a man with a rope on tho cowcatcher. That eugiuo chased us twenty miles down the track. The mun with tho rope throw it around the brake wheel on top of our car aud gradually stopped it, while all tho timo tho wind was blowing a gale. "We hud just got headed back toward tho dopot wheu an expiess truiu showed up where wo should have met it kerchunk—that's good pie," and ho took another piece. —Lowiston (Me.) Journal. Capture of nUohlen Eagle. John George, a resident of the val ley, captured au immouse golden eagle iu a steel trap at Lookout Mountain last week. The bird measures over eight feet from tip to tip, has a beau tiful head of deep, gold color, and powerful claws four inches long. The bird is beiug artistically mounted by David Bryaut. The golden eagle has become a very rare bird, and is ex ceedingly hard to capture, as they are vigilant nnd timid, and make their homo about the most iuaccossiblo peaks and crags. Roslyn (Wash.) Sentinel. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Correct—Heartless—How It Hap pened—Delays Are Vexatious —A Good Thing, Etc., lite. "Wkero was tho Magna Charter signed ?" asked tho teacher. "Please, sir, at tho bottom. —Phila delphia American. A GOOD THING. Jazboy—"What's a gocd thing for rheumatism ?" Chimley—"You ocem to he ; you're always complaining of it."—lioxbury Gazette. DELAYS ARE VEXATIOUS. Gcorgo (hesitating)— "But. darling, if we olopo will your parents over for give us?" Ethel—"Yes, dear, if we're not 100 long about it."—Puck. now IT HAPPENED. Visitor—"How do you come to kavo eo many Chinese figures?" Hostess—"Oh, at tho time of my wedding thero was a sale of thorn, and these are all wedding presents."—Bos ton Transcript. ins OBJECT. Johnny—"May I walco the baby, mamma?" Mamma—"Why do you want to wake tho baby?" Johnny—"3o'd I can play on my drum." —Judge. CROOKED ADVICE. Dootor—"I don't think that boil on your noso is a very aerioiu matter, but you had better keep your eye on it." Patient (nervously) "Great Scott! doctor, that'll make me squint."—Min neapolis Tribune. NOT TO P.E CONGRATULATED. Fiiihly—"SoGaddy is dead?" Duddy—"l'es, poor fellow, ho ka3 gone to his reward at last." Faddy—"Strango how a fellow's ill luck will follow him sometimes. Boston Transcript. HEARTLESS. Actress (taking the lea ling character in a tragedy) "Where can my mother be?" Voico From the Gallery ".Sho is sit ting in tho Konigsplat, selling apples." —Flicgeude Blaetter. ROTII HAVE A CHANGE. She —"lt is all so nicj for you to go down to tho club to breuk tho mono tony aud all that sort of thing, but whero do I como in?" 110 "You get your share 111 getting rid of mo for a while."—Cincinnati Enquirer. A BARELY AC3OHPLHHED WOMAN. "Miss Cayenno is a very bright young woman," ho remarked, aduiir ins'y- "Docs sho say clcvcr things?" "Bettor than that. She sees tho poiut when somebody elsosiys them." —Washington Star. AS GOOD All GAC. Victim—"You say you supply bal loons to guests 011 the top floor iu caso of tire? Arc they already filled?" Chicago Hotel Clerk—"Oh, no. Just wait until tho tiro has made pro gross enough and you cau fill your balloon with hot air."—Life. ADVANTAGEOUS. "Stanimoring is an awful atllction," remarked the youug woman. "Still it has its advantages," re marked tho youug man. "Fellow doesn't need uioie than two or three ideas to keep liim iu couvoraatio 1 u wholo evening."—Amusing Journal TIIB PROBABLE REASON. Dolly Swift—"i j 11st met Miss Thir* tysnntlj, and she told me, as proof of her- popularity, that two men called 011 her at the same time last night." Sally Gay—"That may have been the reason, or it may have been be cause they were afraid to go alone."— Puck. ADAPTABILITY. inspector of Prisons—"ln provid ing you with work your former occu pation shall be taken into account. What were you?" Convict-- "An anarchist." Inspector—"Urn, uin. Wo can put kini to road blasting."—Flicgeude Blaetter. DOMESTIC ECONOMY. "This year, my dear, you must cur tail your expenses. Ido not see more tkau eight thousand dollars coming iu tho next twelve mouths." "Oh, don't worry, you considerate darling! I will skimp 011 dross and we'll still have three thousand dollars to live on."—Judge. RESEMBLANCE. "That poem of your.-," remarked the flippant person, "remiuds mo of 'Spencer's Faery Qlleeu.' " "But," said tho aspiring writer, "you told 1110 yesterday that you had never read tho "Faery Queen.'" "Yes. That's why your poem re minds me of it."—Washington Star. WAR OF THE IUTUBE. "Lieutenant 1" "Yes, sir!" "Have you a platoon of scientists ready for active service?" "Tea, sir." "Deploy them in front of tho forti fication opposite our right wing with instructions to turn on the cathode rays and find out how large a force the enemy has behind those walls."—Chi cago Tost.