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THE SILVER BELT PUBLISHING CO
H. H. HIENER H. 0. H0LDSW0RTH
The Silver Belt has a larger paid cir
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The paramount issue before the Georgia leg
islature nowadays is downward revision of the
percentage of alcohol in near-beer.
That Roosevelt commission organized for the
farmers' uplift might turn a practical trick
by going out to Kansas and assisting in gather
ing the crops.
"A Wisconsin young man is suffering under
the delusion that he is a horse," says the Mil
waukee Sentinel. It might be worse, however.
He might, for instance, imagine that he is an
automobile or an aeroplane.
It is said that "Uncle Joe" has $10 bet that
congress will be in session on August f. This
is ominous not that "Uncle .Joe" cares any
thing in particular about the $10, but that he
dearlv loves to Avin.
Let it be understood, however, that.no pro
posed tax on raw material is intended to apply
to new congressmen.
: Luther Burbank calls his new berry the
wonderberry." Presumably, it is impossible
to fashion it into shortcake in such wise thsft a
25-cent portion thereof may contain less than
half a dozen berries.
A Kansas City professor says it is impos
sible to tell a lie without wiggling the big toe.
No wonder man abandoned sandals long years
ago.
- ' Somehow we feel that there must be some
thing wrong with that foreign Bleriot fellow,
. "but for the life of us, we cannot think just what
;. it is.
Kk .
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'
Let us be thankful that no tariff tax will-bo
imposed on last winter's clothes.
Former President Castro's plaintive appeal
.for "nothing more than the right to return to
'Venezuela to die" is touching. Perhaps Ven
ezuela wili be willingto conce.de that he may be
shipped there for burial subsequent to his demise.
PV
Free hides 1 Sure! So Bwana Tumbo may
take his time about shipping his specimens to
the Smithsonian.
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"The new shah of Persia is such a tiny lit
tle chap," notes a contemporary. The Persians
have learned, however; that a little Shah goes
a long way.
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If the proposed tariff law has any real
.friends among the newspapers of this country,
they manage to disguise themselves very cleverly.
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The weather man hints that we may expect
a somewhat strenuously hot September. He is
doing pretty well right now, however, so we
'shall hot worry.
''Father Brennan, the priest astrologer, says
he thinks Halley's lost comet has been found
and taken in by Saturn," says the St. Louis
Globe-Democrat. "Taken in by" but, then,
Saturn mav be a sort of' celestial hotel keeper.
ri Tlinf. H nnr irin Snlmi who introduced the nnii-
j-ide-a-straddle bill for the benefit of woman-
vWkind probablv lacks a good deal of being the
-prize ass ot the legislative outht.
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Pittsburg Dispatch.
HAZING AND HORSING
Another investigation Is under way at the
Military academy on the subject of hazing.
Something is promised in the way of disclos
ures of animated and ingenious cadet "devil
try," and there will be undoubtedly the usual
exclamations of surprise and disapproval over
the misconduct of the youthful offenders. It
will be well not to pay too much attention to the
results of an investigation of this sort. The
recognition of the fact that "boys will be
boys," notwithstanding they are cadets at the
Military academy, under training for commis
sions in the army, is an agreeable and liberal
cpneession to make to those forms of activity
in which the ardent youthful spirit at West
Point relieves and satisfies itself. Of course,
if cruelty, mixed with cowardice, is a charac
teristic of these performances, visited by senior
cadets upon their junior associates, it is proper
that there should be another attempt to regu
late the practice, but it is well not to take too
seriously some of the foolishness in which it
is safe to say the cadet at West Point surpasses
in no degree the student at Cambridge, New
Haven, or Princeton.
The significance of the latest investigation
at the Military academy is to be found in the
fact that despite all the rules and regulations
and all the solemn reports of the official ob
servers and all the efforts and influences and
admonitions of those in authority, hazing in
some form it appears to now bear the title
of "horsing" prevails among the unterrified
cadets. At all events, it would be well to let
the authorities at the Military aca'demy run
that institution without interference of public
sentiment, which is sometimes based on an im
perfect knowledge of the situation and a refusal
to believe in the youthfulness of young men
who are under training for the military ser
vice. So long as there is not a return to the
ear-cutting, neck-breaking 'and spine-fracturing
practice of other years, there is no occasion
for, public alarm.
JONAH AND THE CRITICS
There are several narratives in the books of
the Old Testament that merit immunity from
the searching analysis of cynical criticism.
Their very wonder adds to their dignified im
pressiveness, and their variance from the hum
drum experiences of everyday Jife carries its
own charm. It is only natural that the adven
tures of the sqa, with all their romantic possi
bilities, should be included in these records of
the patriarchal past. The nautical and zoolog
ical achievement of Noah has no parallel in lit
erature. That it is unique only adds to the ex
ercise of faith.
But scientific investigation sometimes brings
corroboration. The celebrated voyage of Jonah
has been a favorite object of attack by the
skeptical. They have disputed the accuracy of
the translation that interprets his living ve
hicle as a whale. Learned zoologists insist that
no whale could swallow a man, because ofthose
meshes in the creature's throat that modern
industry has utilized to its profit. But there
may have been giant whales in those days, and
there remains the possibility of uncalculated
elasticity of the creature's throat. But the sci
entific investigators will not let well enough
alone. The contemporaneous fish story comes
from the Mediterranean that a shark has been
caught having in its stomach the bodies of a
man, a woman and a child. These ghastly evi
dences prove a tragedy that calls for sympathy.
But they are not to be taken as an indication
that the sea monster that swallowed Jonah was
a shark. They demonstrate only the abnormal
capacity and melancholy opportunity of one
particular fish. Moreover, there is ample au
thority for the statement that there are nature
nature fakers in these days. The imaginative
survives the utilitarian age. There must be
some room for credence. Tt really ought not to
be neccessary to adjust everything that hap
pened in the dim past to hard literature of pres
ent experience1. The iconoclasts should spare
the whale to Jonah and not commit his adven
turous exploit to the jaws of an acrobatic fish
that must turn upside down before it can swal
low anything. Moreover, did not the profane
deities of yore harness the festive dolphin?
MARRIAGE AS A HANDICAP
Married men in and out of the military-naval
establishment will sympathize with the rejoin
der which has been made by a young midship
man in his own behalf to the official criticism
passed upon him by his commanding officer. The
latter, in the periodical report which is required
of the fitness of every subordinate' officer, added
to that usually uninteresting document the
opinion that "This midshipman's usefulness
seems to beimpaired by matrimony."
The young man, who was under training and
observation for permanent duty in the commis
sioned personnel of the navy, had the customary
right to reply to the remarks of the senior of
ficer and he did this in the following concise
and pointed language: "I do not consider that
the fact that I am a married man has anything
to do with the matter, for no such report as that
i has ever been made before, and 1 consider that
the captain had only taken a bachelor's view of
the matter."
It required considerable courage on the part
of the unmarried senior naval officer to go on
ofliciaL record as ascribing to matrimony any
such quality as the impairment of service use
fulness. The proceeding, however, was unfor
tunate, and if the bachelor officer had been as
wise as bis celibacy should have made him,
he would have refrained from presenting so
vulnerable a target to the enemy; he would have
known, too, that the married man is, by virtue
of condition' and temperament, an enemy with
out mercy or conscience. This will probably
not be the occasion of any official investigation,
but we entertain the keenest regret that the
midshipman did not make the incident the basis
of some sort of request which would lead to an
official determination of the relative efficiency
of bachelors and those inflicted with matri
mony. "With the decision given by fair-minded
officers, it would then be impossible for a pre
maturely married youngster in the naval ser
vice to engage in such a heartless fling at a sen
ior who merely loves his country and is only
wedded to his duty. ,
JUST AS EASY
In a city in which fortune-tolling and clair
voyancy is- a little less restricted by law than
in Chicago, a phhnber visited a gypsy fortune
toller the other day, paid his quarter, and was
told: "You are going to lose money soon, but
not much."
"While the plumber was taking this informa
tion into his head the gypsy was taking $10 out
of his pocket.
It took the plumber a couple of hours to get
"wise," and then instead of rejoicing over his
discovery of a genuine case of prediction of the
future, he sent the police after the gypsy. But
the gypsy had looked into the future no't once,
but twice and was out of his reach.
In the same city, on the same day, another as
pect of fortune-telling came 'to light. A Fin
nish girl was told by a "seer" that if she
would enter the apartment of a certain woman
on a certain night she .would find a pot of gold.
She entered but found no gold, and so took
some dresses and jewelry. In her case the pre
diction gave out at this point; so she didn't
run away, and she was arrested. t
There are two morals to this.
One is that fortune tellers never are weak
minded, while their patrons always are.
The other is that it is a wise cit3' government
that is stronger-minded and also stronger
handed than its fortune tellers.
"A state which rests its greatness on good
cooking will never perish," says the Cleveland
Plain "Dealer. Especially a state of matrimony.
"Mefiectionsfof a Bachetor Girl
A
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i By Maude Marie f j ,
'Love is' a disease but cheer up! Nowa
days there is nothing chronic about it.
, Horseless carriages, jireless cookers and
iceless refrigerators have proved such a
success that it remains only for some gen
ius' to invent a ''husbandless marriage" in
order to make modern life perfectly happy.
A man is something like a cat no matter
how many times he is thrown over, he al
ways, lands comfortably on his feet and
walks off cheerful at his escape.
"When a man shows presence of mind in
love-making, it is a sure sign of absence of
heart.
Women have to be vain, but a man fancies
that, like honest money, he ought to be taken
for what he is worth, no matter how passe
and battered he may appear.
Love is nature's dope with which we fool
ishly intoxicate ourselves when there is uoth
else to do.
One ear of corn eaten from the cob is
sometimes the best recipe for curing.a man's
grand e passion.
Heaven must be something like a summer
resort as far as the absence of men is con
cerned. A man never discoversdhe value of money
until he has acquired if, or of a woman's love
until he has lost it.
Life, without love, is just lemonade with
out any sugar.
"All smugglers look alike to me," says Mr.
Loeb. Mr. Loeb shows no inclination to forget,
his Washington training.
Tom Watson swatted his Pullman porter
with a dress-suit case. However, Tom is redheaded.
It is denied that Mr. Rockefeller ever said
he expects to live to the age. of 100. Maybe
he did not say it, but it would be just like him to
do it, nevertheless and notwithstanding.
M. Clemenceau says he went into office with
nothing more than an umbrella, and goes out
with nothing more than a cane. "My dear
Mr. A's" must be scarce in La Belle France.
A Beverly Bay minister says: "Man should
attend church on Sunday morning and a base
ball game on Sunday morning." Or surely
play a game of golf?
"Prohibition is a mistake," says Bishop
Johnston, of San Antonio, Texas. It may be,
but it seems to be such amazingly good politics
in certain sections that we hardly expect to see
it peter out just yet.
That scientist who expects to be able to ex
tract food from the air explains, moreover, that
"air impregnated with sunshine is preferable."
Another advocate of the light diet theory, of
course.
No multitude of men in buckram ever beset
old Sir John more viciously than that herd of
hippos assaulted Bwana Tumbo if we may be
lieve all the correspondents say.
A Tennessee jury has found a "night rider"
guilty of "murder in the first degree, with mit
igating circumstances." This should entitle
the defendant to be hanged with an extra qual
ity rope.
The Macon Telegraph introduces us to a
Dixie statesman named ''Whooper Alexander."
The gentle reader will not, of course, be sur
prised to learn that "Whooper" is a shouting
prohibitionist.
If any one in this world can prove that the
democrats are united and harmonious, and do
it in a thoroughly gentle, Icindly and benevolent
fashion, Senator Culberson is that party, unquestionably.
There have been brave men since Agamem
non. Senator Stone- slapped a Pullman por
ter's face for insolence. Wonder who will be
the first man to refuse that same porter a tip.
That Portugese prince who solemnly "re
nounced" his vane prtensions to the Portugese
throne in order that he may marry "an American
heiress was decidedly more amusing than convincing.
Luther Burbank is trying to produce "a wat
ermelon with a handle to it," according to a
contemporary. The average colored brother
will not be ever so remotely interested in this;
he asks nothin better than an empty bran sack
and a fair to middling chance to make a sure
get-away.
Thursday, AuggJ
Are Your Eyes Wcakj
8
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CO"ritf.fT "i- -v vV
Eyes tested free of charo.
cated cases fitted wher ,0
New lenses put In your old ix
I warrant all my work perfe .
rurnisn glasses at prices reason.v
for first-elA. vnrV t-i ..oaiKi
Jewelry and Watches.
DR. E. DAWKINS
T. 1.UU1S JEWELRY & OPTTf. J
COMPAWV k"W
437 Broad Street
Bankers'
Garden
The Finest Resort in Globe
Popular with all classei t
and summer. Refreshments ot
all kinds. Choice cigari, 1jh
and liquon.
ANHETJSER-BUSCH BEEB
ALWAYS ON DRAUGHT.
Cool dining room in connee.
tion. Regular meals and coll
lunches at all hours. Order 01
prorate-dinners in advance.
When you
drink
Drink the
best
We serve it
TheWhiteHouse
Saloon
BROAD AND OAK STREETS
nniMMii iiimiii
1 i
Carl L. Addy
: Manufacturing Jeweler
and Diamond Setter
STONE CUTTING
i AND ALL KINDS OF REPAIRING
X Room 6, Keegan Building, Upstin
Globe, Arizona
MMtMMMIIIIW
Stanley Woodward
Contractor and Builder
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