Tensas gazette. [volume], December 23, 1910, Image 3

About Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current

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The fetish of the Waxworks
REMARKABLE achievements of Ivan Brodsky,
physician, whose investigations into psychic
phenomena enabled him to cure spiritual diseases and
to exorcise evil spirits from the bodies of their victims.
A A By H. RC. EGBERT A A
icoDyri iUt. Ly W0 . by W 'a ChmapI ) op} r~g it I~n lrlat irtiman.
'I. DI[)I'PY. Frenchman
and patriot, more Yankee
than the native born,
since he took out naturali
zation papers, wears the
British flag in his button
A story hangs upon
this, the story of a dead
hero to whom the pres
ence t: ( Paul became an outrage and
abomination. And it was llrodsky who
saved Paul from his post-mortem ven
geance.
A story hangs upon this, the story
of a dead hero to whom the plresence
of Paul became an outrage and abom
ination. And it was Brodsky who
saved Paul from his post-mortem ven
geance.
The psychical investigations of Dr.
Ivan Brodsky, and the marvelous re
stilts which he had obtained in his
warfare against' the hosts of evil,
some of which I have previously re
counted, had by this time made him
known to a large circle of those to
whom such things as spiritual pos
session are facts rather than theories.
In hospitals, in prisons, wherever we
find pain and sin congregated, occult
manifestations are a commonplace of
existence, though fear of ridicule de
bars the inmates from making any
mention of them. It was in such in
stitutions that Brodsky's reputation
spread broadcast. But there are pris
ons for the dead as well as the living.
as I shall show.
Neither Brodsky nor I was greatly
surprised when a visitor entered his
study one evening and implored his
aid in the unraveling of a mystery
which had. he was convinced, a su
pernatural explanation. "At least, I
can't help thinking so myself, sir."
said the man, speaking fluently, but
with a slight foreign accent. "Al
thonugh I am not a believer in such
things myself."
Brodsky's brows clouded: that was
the stock phrase that he detested.
"If you do not believe in such
things, how dare you make the. sug
gestion that they exist?" he cried.
"Be honest with yourself and with
me, man, or go elsewhere. Do you
believe in them or do you not?"
"Yes, sir, I do," replied our visitor.
"RBut when one makes such an admis
sion one is ridiculed-it's hard-"
"Humph!" grunted the doctor. "Go
ahead with your story."
The visitor sat down and fingered
his hat nervously. He was apparently
a man of the laboring class, to judge
from his appearance; yet he showed
signs of intelligence superior to that
of most of his kind. I could account
for his mental disturbance only when
he had finished his story.
"I'm a Frenchman by birth, sir," he
began, "and I've been seven years in
this country. I'm a naturalized citizen
and proud of my adopted country. I
learned my trade in Paris; it's a
queer trade, and there's not many
throughout the whole world follows it,
so that it pays well, especially as it
requires a certain amount of artistic
ability, though less than you would
suppose. I am a maker of wax figures
for the Waxworks theater on Fifth
street. You may not know the place,
gentlemen, for people seem somehow
to have lost Interest in that form of
entertainment, though it used to be
the craze in years gone by. My task
is to model life-size wax figures of all
people of prominence. We've got the
famous murderers, of course, and the
presidents, and the heroes of the rev.
olution, and all the famous kings and
queens of England. the great soldiers
and sailors-Wellington, Napoleon, I
Nelson-"
"Faugh!" said the doctor. "Let the
dead rest in their graves. Don't you
know that every time you set up an t
o anent against making rp !
on."
"i ello sirt " said our f iuirta . "-s lI
told .a . I' constantly at ork farh- .
toning th<.e figures fo r 3l r 1arn1,t
licas thlfe PrIin We 'id ct hattii
Uncle Sam 's Small Change
Much Prrfit in the Coinage of the
Humble But Much-Used
Cent.
The every-day bronze American
Oe-<ent pies. llmade of 95 arts co'p
per to file parts of tin and zinc. costs
the United States govrnment about
one-tenth of a cent. Uncle Sam's total
profit in the one-cent and the five
nan any of naval otliiers up to a few
ikee weeks :-co. Then .':nme Dewey's vic
orn, tory o~ cr the' Spaniards and naval
rail- men becamie the rage. .Mr Margotson
the I is always looking out for som:nething
ton- ilE. so he sVys to lme. 'Dupuy. let's
day. have a few statues of naval officers of
pon history. Do you remember any?'
lead 'Sure" said I. there's Villeneuve and
res- St. Page and--' 'Quit talking French.'
and said MIr. Margotson. 'What about
who John Paul Jones and Nelson?' So I
ven- set to work and made replicas of
them. The one of .ones was fair, but
:ory the S;elson statue was first-rate. I did
nee it all from his portraits, and there he
om- stands in the gallery with one arm
who and one eye, and everybody who
comes in recognizes him at once. And
that brings me to the point."
Dr. "Ah, you've had trouble with Nel
re. son?" cried Brodsky.
his "Mon dieu!" said Dupuy. lapsing
'vil, into his native tongue as he wiped his
re- forehead. "he's trying to murder me."
him The man broke off and eyed us fur
to tively. I had long learned to keep
pos- guard over my face, but incredulity
ies. was in my heart. As for the doctor,
we he said nothing, and the man contin
rult ued:
of "it must have been a week ago that
de- the first thing happened. I was adjust
any ing the scabbard of his sword-we use
in- real swords in our scabbards-and the
tion point flew through and went right into
iris- my wrist-just missed a large artery.
ing, Look!"
lie held his hand up for our inspec
atly tion. There was a ragged cut, half
his healed, along the base of the hand.
his "And I'll swea, that the figure
:ery pushed the sword throigh the scab
su- hard-pusihed it violently, for it cut
I clear through the leather. But I didn't
dr." catch on just then. Then, four days
but afterward, as I was passing it, the
'Al- thing flew from its pedestal and keeled
uch me over. My head just missed the iron
radiator by two inches. And I tell you,
was I;t didn't fall, it fairly threw itself at
me."
urh What does Mr. Margotson say to
gUy- that? asked Brodsky.
ied., "He laughs." answered D'ipuy. "I
vith asked him to let me melt it up to-day,
you ;but he refused. But there's worse to
come. Yesterday, when I was passing
by, I felt all at once the most peculiar
sensation of sleepiness come over me.
Co I remember stopping and passing my
hand over my forehead; an Instant
later my wife's voice seemed to ring
in my ears. 'Paul, wake up for God's
otly sake!' she cried. I opened my eyes
and I was standing in front of the wax
h figure, with the naked sword in my
tnt hand. pointing at my heart. And yet
I have no memory of it all. But when
ien I looked up the face was leering at
me."
he "A figure of wax-" I began incredu
lously.
ten Then the man shot his final bolt,
which he had kept in reserve, with
all the dramatic power of his race.
It "It isn't wax!" he screamed, and fell
it to shaking from head to foot.
tic "W'hat?" I cried.
uld "It's turning into flesh and blood,
res sir!"
fth "What does Margotson say to that?"
ce, "He laughs at me. I don't know
ow what to do. I've half a mind to melt it
of and let Margotson discharge me; and
be yet I have my wife to think of, and
ask there's no demand for such men as me,
all the business having fallen off so. And
he if I stay there, one day the thing will
he kill me."
,e "Enough," said Brodsky. "We'll go
nd here at once. Can we get in?"
urs "I have the key," answered the
n. PFrenchman, putting on his hat.
We three left the house together.
he We caught' a car on the main road,
ou which ran past us one block away, and,
an half an hour later, stepped out at the
entrance to the waxworks theater,
which stood in what was now the
heart of the business section of the
city, and was. In consequence, almost
comnpletely deserted at this hour of the
evening. Our companion pulled out
a key and opened a side door. \We
went up into a great hall. round which
were ranged statues of celebrities, life
size figures of strikingly human as
pect.
"And yet." mused Brodsky. stopping
to regard a groupl of cleverly arranged
heroes of our civil war, "the men who
erect these think they have nothing
more' than the external shells. How
ign!orant they are of the psychic q:ali
ties of their actions! Indeed. what do
they dream of anything beyond the
mate~rial? Yet this gallery is almost
a breeding ground of souls. \'ho can
measure what influences such beings
draw doen to themn? We\'ll, at least
no evilspirit wou!d be attracte'd hither
amniong these' men who offered up their
In lives for their co;iuntry"
Dull'y led the way toward an end of
at the great hall. liere I saw a group of
u- atitlr ' ;utci-d ill (;Georgianl dress, evi
l d ,t-ntt, Ni t1on ('twiild he e find among
id th,,-' ()ne o1 th'':l,. however, steemed
[ ' i.' . :l ,' ! t -c  ' (he'ir of tO-d(|V. It
S " " ", " ' d
'' nt t'4 lc: (in((d I::t year was more
th ', , n:iClion d("1uars.
Ti. Intd S:.ts treasury depart
Sit co(ins J' st eno:gh one-cent
"o, tU) l t '! ~~e dentamids of trade.
'L is t alm l d- .! late years have
b In ort:·i lldi;na i . One reasmn for
:h+ dcmt.nttd is Ihe introduction of
"'] ltlln,.s ' into 'acific coast cities,
w h re for so long they were an object
But the proprietor seemed still more
confused than his assistant. He came
forward sheepishly, and a mask
seemed to have descended upon his
blank face and blotted out some curi
ous 'motions which I had thought that
I read there.
"Mr. Margotson-there are two gen
tlemen who are Interested in what I
told you about the statue," Dupuy
stammered.
Margotson's face grew black with
rage.
"N, : spape.r writers, eh?" he shout
ed. ('ome to write up my museunm,
I suIl)1ose: I don't want )ou;r adver
tising; I've got all the customers I
want and you can't do me no good.
I)amn your curiosity: this fool's been
telling you some of his silly yarns
about the Nolson statue, I suppose!"
This rage appeared so abnormal
that my medical training induced me
to '-xamine Margotson from the patho
logical standpoint. lint Btrodsky look
ed into his face steadily and laid his
hand upon his shoulder. Mlargotson's
anger seemed suddenly to evaporate.
"They're only interested in the
statue's turning Into flesh and blood,
sir." said the Frenchman.
I'nluckily these words brought
about a return of Margotson's frenzy.
"Flesh and blood? Rubbish!" he
shouted. "Arrant nonsense, that's
what you're talking. Dupuy. What's
the matter with the statue? It's a
very good statue, one of the best
you've made. It's new wax-green
wax, we call it in the trade-and it
ought to have had time to mature,
only the public were so crazed over
the naval officers I didn't have time
to let it lie. That's why it's harden
ing-because of the fumes from the
leather factory across the street. They
drift in here something terrible.
/ /
1/ '1
==sip - /
.Drry ~sfarfed I
hwa r iit ba wild c ,3.
That's all that's the matter with it.
Look!"
He switched on an electric light
upon the wall behind him, and for the
first time I saw clearly the face of
the great English hero. There were
the irregular, thin, homely features,
lit by a flame of patriotic enthusiasm.
Yet, admirably as the artist had
caught the inspiration of the painting
from which he modeled it, there seem
ed to be something more, some hardly
defined vein of cruelty, of caprice, that
actually gave the face the property
of seeming to reflect a certain change
of emotions, an Instability of mind as
though the thing possessed some con
scious life. And the skin-surely that
was the skin of a man, with the blood
mantling in the flesh beneath. Du
puy started back with a wild cry.
"Look at him! Look! I swear I
never put that smile 'upon his face,"
he screamed. "He's changing. He's
changing, I tell you. Lord preserve
us all! Get rid of It, Mr. Margotson."
"If you hand me out any more of
that nonsense I'll fire you on the
spot," shouted the enraged proprietor.
"You're going daffy, Dupuy, that's
what's the matter with you. Hle's
always had that smile. Examine the
wax, gentlemen; it's hardened, that's
all."
With horror and repulsion I laid
my finger on the smooth surface of
the cheek. So life-like did it appear
that I could have sworn the blood
faded out of the arterioles beneath
the pressure, blanching the surface
of the skin. And yet it was of wax. It
was not flesh and blood. But flesh and
blood differed less from it than it
differed from the unreal and waxen
figures around it. It stooped half
forward, it seemed instinct with slow
ly dawning vitality. And surely its
expression had changed: it had not
smiled thus, with the cold malevo
lence of a conqueror, when first I had
seen it.
Then suddenly Margotson seemed
transformed. As though he adapted
his mood to suit his mind, he burst
into a wild peal of laughter.
"Good old Nelson," he shouted: and
the sounds re-echoed from the roof
and rang through the hall, while for
one dreadful moment I could have
sworn than an answering emotion flit
ted across that waxen face-"good
boy, Nelson. A miracle of art, Dupuy.
I can't tear myself away from watch
ing him. I'll raise your salary, lie
of contempt, and another reason is
the prevalence of "penny-in-the-slot"
machines. These mechanical devices
keep a great many one-cent pieces
out of circulation, and so increase the
demand upon the treasury for new
ones.
Various minor coins have from
time to time been issued. The copper
half-cent piece was current from 1792
to 1857, although only a small num
ber were coined. The two-cent pieces,
authorized in 1C64, were coined until
,'c" "nd may still be seen occasion
makes me feel so good. He wants me
to do something for him and I'll find
out what it is and do it."
"You've given him a body and he's
getting your reason, my friend," said
Brodsky, somewhat shaken by this un.
expected outburst.
"Come away, come away, gentle
men," cried the Frenchman, pulling
us by the arms. "He's mad, God help
him. I should have told you he'd
been acting queer, but last night,
when he laughed at me so much. I
thought that it was only overwork.
lie's as mad as a loon."
We did not need to be urged, nor
was there necessity of excuses. Mar
gotson had already forgotten us and
was standing before the statue alter
nately capering and grimacing.
"Now, I'11 give you my advice and
shortly, and you can follow it or not
at your peril," said Btrodsky. "Get
your employer home in safety and
then slip back and chop the thing to
pieces before a tragedy supervenes.
No, that's all I've got to say to you
except just this: Give up your trade
and learn something that won't bring
you into conflict with all these vital
forces that hang round such places."
And with these words he fairly
hurlhd himself out of the place, leav
ing me to follow him as best I could.
I think I mentioned once how sen
sitive the doctor always was to the
morbid things of life. Perhaps it was
a certain sensibility to those invisible
influences which accompany moods and
invest those places where any violent
emotions have been at play. At any
rate, having seen so much of the dark
er side of life, Brodsky was strenu
ously insistent upon cleanliness and
wholesomeness.
"We've got to leave such things
alone and work in the sun," he used to
say. "This is our working day; when
the night comes at last, may our good
t deeds be our protective armor against
all the host of devils on the night
f shores that we shall pass through."
"You believe we have to pass
through some place of purgation?" I
asked.
"We'll have to clean up somehow, in
this life or the next," he answered.
"We can't get into heaven with dirty
finger-nails."
So. on this occasion, I forebore to
question him when we got home. Brod
sky went to a closet where he kept
many relics of his earlier life, and
came out with a small Union Jack up
on a moldering staff.
"The flag of the vessel that bore
me from Poland, where the Czar's
I emissaries were seeking my life," he
said sadly. "To what better use can
it be put?"'
Then he explained the mystery.
"It is a fetish," he said filling his
pipe and puffing at it slowly. "It is
exactly similar, in every particular,
to the idols of the West Africans
or, for that matter, to any idol. The
savage makes some dreadful idol to
worship, sacrifices to it until the thing
becomes instinct with life and filled
with all the passions of the worship
pers; then a devil has been called in
to existence whose evil influence is
Incalculable. I tell you, it was no
mythical devil that the early Christi
an missionaries had to face. nor those
of to-day.
"After death the pure spirit flies
to its appointed resting place, leav
ing its two bodies moldering behind
it. One is that earthly body that we
all know; the other is the soul body,
the body of desires, a semi-conscious
force that survives for months or
years, according to the condition of
the dead being. Do not mistake me;
this is not Nelson. That great ad
miral is unconscious of this replica
of his there in the Waxworks theater.
It is a group of emotions such as pos
sessed Nelson, a man of strong feel
ings, yet not necessarily his. The
warm enthusiasm of the crowds that
have visited that place have focused
these emotions, much as the burning
glass focuses the rays of the sun. Re
member, as yet this creature is only
half conscious. It vaguely, as in a
dream, feels this life within intself;
it is rising toward a conscious ex
Istence. And that fool Margotson is
ally in circulation. The coinage of c
the silver three-cent piece was dis- t
continued in 1873, and the nickel
three-cent piece in 1890. Whenever
one of these coins finds its way into
the treasury, it is not reissued. Of
the minor coins, the government now
makes it a policy to keep in circula
tion only the one-cent and the
five-cent pieces.
Teachings of Nature. a
But, some one asks, how can you t
ever expect a boy to graduate from t
college or university if his education I
ie the tool by which it means to wreak
id its enmity upon Dupuy."
"But why does it hate the French
's man so much?" I asked.
Id "Do you not recollect Nelson's mot
n- to?" the doctor asked-'hate a French
man as you would the devil?' This
e- elemental being that has attracted
ig these emotions that made up the
p great admiral's soul body has neces
'd sarily the identical feeling. What
t. does it know of the time that has
I elapsed, or the changes of history?
k. There is the Frenchman, and it will
have his life-by itself, if possible. If
ir It cannot kill him, as it tried, it will
r- certainly do so through Margotson.
id Well, it's none of my business," he
r- said. "I've warned Dupuy." And he
went to bed, while I forgot to ask the
d purpose of the Union Jack, which I
At saw him stuff into his pocket.
et llut I knew that Brodsky could not
id dismiss his own responsibility so
to easily. He did not undress, for, from
a. my room, which adjoined his own, I
Ou heard him pacing the floor with short,
le quick footsteps, the greater portion
ig of the night. I fell asleep at last, and
al had hardly closed my eyes two min
utes, as it seemed, before I heard the
iy front door bell jangled violently. I
v started up in bed, filled with horrible
presentiments of evil, and began to
0- dress myself hurriedly. A few mo
le ments later Brodsky tapped loudly up
Ls on my door.
le "Dress yourself as quickly as you
id can," he called. "There's work on
it foot for both of us before the morn
LY Ing."
As I hurried on my clothes I heard
an agitated voice in the sitting room
d outside, which I had little difficulty in
recognizing as that of the assistant.
; My judgment was correct; when I
o emerged I found him seated in a
chair in a condition of collapse, and
Brodsky standing over him, holding
a glass of some stimulant to his lips.
The doctor was fully dressed, even
to his hat, and from his pocket there
protruded a small corner of the Brit
ish flag. We went out together with
out any explanations. Luckily the
cars ran at intervals, and we saw one
approaching us when we reached the
corner of the main street. We clam
bered in; it was empty, and, during
the ride, I learned in broken ejacula
tions from the man the cause of his
visit.
He had halted Irresolutely at the
entrance to the Waxworks theater aft
er we left him. Then he retraced
his steps, determined to carry out the
doctor's instructions as soon as he
could get Margotson away. He saw
his employer standing before the
statue, regarding it silently, as though
in a trance. Dupuy crept up to him,
passing the statue of necessity upon
the opposite side. And then he real
ized that Margotson had been ob
serving him. Margotson had drawn
the sword from the scabbard of the
admiral and stood in such an attitude
that Dupuy could neither advance nor
retreat.
At the same time he experienced
a return of that deathly faintness that
had possessed him on a previous oc
casion, as he described to us. As in
a trance he saw Margotson advance
stealthily toward him, while he re
mained incapable of resistance; then,
once again, he heard his wife's
voice ring in his ears and recovered
his senses. He leaned aside as Mar
gotson thrust, and, running like the
wind, gained the street outside, and
had presence of mind enough to lock
the door behind him.
a "But I don't come in," he insisted,
d as we gained the side door. "No, sir,
t I've seen enough for to-night. I don't
t go in."
It took all Brodsky's resolution to
a persuade Dupuy to come. Without
I his presence, the doctor said, he
would be powerless. With him, he
might still break this spell and bring
back Margotson to sanity. And at
Slast, very timidly, Dupuy crept in be
hind the doctor. As Brodaky an
I-I
?J'od sill, his eies /id
pon nscincy'
locked the door the key fell from his
fingers. 1
"The key! You must find it." he
cried to me. "Under no circuum
stances may you follow us without
It. To do so may be fatal. Remem- <
ber!" And before I had time to an
swer I saw him spring lightly up the
stairway, dragging the unwilling
Frenchman with him. My immediate
impulse was to dash after him; then
disclpline came to my aid and-I
stooped for the key. The night was c
dark, and it was two minutes before t
I found it. Then suddenly, from with- I
in, I heard wild shouts and a stam- c
pede.
I sprang up the stairs and along the
hall, running with sobbing breath and
clenched fists till I gained the end,
where I saw shadows hovering. Fran- c
does not begin until he is ten years ti
of age? He will be far too old a
First I answer that the curse of a
modern childlife in America is over
education. For the first ten years of c
this, the most sensitive and delicate,
the most pliable life in the world, I
would prepare it. The properly pre- p
pared child will make such progress L
that the difference in time of gradu
ation is not likely to be noticeable;
but, even if it should be a year or t
two later, what real difference would
it make? Do we expect a normal plant a
sk tically I switched on an electric lIght.
Then I perceived Margotson, his face
ch- aflame like a madman's, thrusting at
Brodsky's with the admiral's sword
ot- while the doctor parried him with
ch- admirable grace and ease. Dupuy
bis came running up to me.
fed "He rushed at me," he cried," with
he his sword drawn, and Dr. Brodsky
es- snatched a sword from Paul Jones' re
iat plica and met him. Look! The doc
tas tor wins!"
'y? Like every Polish gentleman, Brod
rill sky was an adept with the foils. Cer
If tainly a clumsy mechanic such as
Mill Margotson could not have expected to
on. overcome him. Yet, as I watched the
he tense interchange of sword play I was
he amazed at the skill shown by Margot
:he son. It seemed as though the courage
I and prowess of the great admiral had
descended upon him. Twice he
lot lunged so fiercely that the point
so grazed Brodsky's arm; then, with a
pm sudden twist, he sent the weapon fly
I lung from the doctor's hand, and
rt, rushed-not at him, but straight to
on ward Dupuy. So swift was the im
nd petus, he was upon us before we could
in- stir., And then, just as the blade
he seemed about to pierce the French
I man's heart, something came flutter
ble Ing downward over his head and the
to sword fell from Margotson's hand
to. and he stood still, his eyes fixed up
up - on vacancy, his body Immobile, while
Dupuy released himself from the
*ou folds of the union jack that Brodsky
on had so admirably thrown over him. 4
r. "And-you think I can go back to
my job?" asked Dupuy the next morn
ird Ing.
)m "By all means," answered the doc- I
In tor. "Margotson will remember noth- I
at. ing whatever of his insanity. So you'd
I better hurry up, or he will want to I
a know why you are late. You need I
nd not fear the statue. It will have re- I
sg sumed its natural aspect, and, in case I
ps. any remnants of its power remain, I
en a small British flag in your buttonhole, I
sre especially on holidays such as Inde- 1
it. pendence day. Yes, that's your pen
th- alty, Dupuy, patriot as you say you
he are; the only alternative being the
ne destruction of the statue, which Mar
he gotson won't allow. And, when you
m. can, try to get another occupation."
ag "It was a desperate chance," con
la- tided Brodsky to me afterward. "Still,
Ios one can deal with these elemental
forces much as with lunatics; the
he mad impulse of national hatred was
*ft- shattered instantly when it perceived
ed the flag of its country. When Margot
he son wakes up upon the floor of the
he gallery he will think that he got drunk
w the night before."
he "But tell me," I cried suddenly,"
gh why did you make me wait till I found '
M, the key?" Then the solution came to e
on me. "You knew our lives were in
al- danger and wished to save me from U
)b- the possibility of injury," I cried. a
en "Pshaw!" muttered the doctor.
be "Just accept facts and don't put senti- a
de mental interpretations upon them."
"FOR VY?" ASKS THE DUKE s
ed
at Customer Indignant at Treatment Ac
)c- corded Him When He Visited p
In Swell Barber Shop.
ce - A
-e- The duke of Esses came to Frank's 1
.n, bootblack stand in front of the Essex
." market court yesterday, asking:
ed "Vy is it a swell barber is so
tr- fresh?" e
he The stand inquired to know, the v
ad New York Sun says. , c
ek "To-day I have been by one to get tl
me a shave and haircut. Which was w
d, all I wanted-no more. No sooner do a
ir, I get in the chair comfortable and k
I't feeling slick than he grabs my cheek ti
by two fingers and looks awful at it. 9
to 'Wass slast?' said I. 'For vy do you ti
ut look like that at my face? Vat's de
he matter vit it? Ain'd it a good face?' a
he Oh, meestair,' says he 'you need a
ag mass-arge.' 'Nix on that,' say I, 'I tl
at don'd need nothin' more expensive
e- than a shave and balrcut,' I nearly i
n- was shampooed and had to fight oR a
boy that would shine my shoes, a rat
haired swell manicures, and a whisk
broom kid. And besides it cost me 40 u
cents and five cents for the barber.
Vy is it?" I
"'It's business,' ventured Able Sol- p
peek.
"Business not!" snorted the duke. N
"Ven a man comes to my office an' n
says 'I vant my will drawn,' do I say si
to him. "Sure, but you also want to pi
get a divorce from your old woman
and a warrant for de little boy of
your neighbor? Ven I go to buy a
hat does the man say to me, 'Ve have ci
hats dat'll fit you, but if you let us
hammer down your head a little it (i
would help some.' Or I go to buy a ti
necktie an' do dey try to sell me a a
rocking horse and ,a barrel of her- hi
rings and den say, 'if you take our
swell choking treatment your neck
ties will look bedder?" I guess not!
"Barbers," said the duke, depart
ing, "is anudder word for rascals. I
wish I had not given de swell barber
dat nicktie." hi
Origin of Binocle.
The word binocle is spelled in many
different ways, all of which are, how- c
ever, phonetic equivalents of the cor- hn
Is rect one. The word is evidently the
Latin blnus, double, and oculus, an gi
e eye, and was probably adopted on ao
c- count of the importance of the double to
It combinations which are the chief
r- counting element of the game. In all tC
'- German works on card games, and ac- ce
Le ccrding to Hoyle, the name is spelled hi
g as we give it; but the pronunciation hr
e of the initial "b" in German is so to
n near that of "p" that "pinochle" Is cl
I nearer the correct spelling than any
a other form. There is no authority for ce
e the introduction of the "h," which has ax
- led some persons to think the word a
- compound of "bis" and "knockle." and in
has given rise to the forms, binochle, fe
e pinochle, pinuchle, pinucle, penucle, Fi
d penuchle, penuckle anl pinuckel, all of at
I, which may be found in various works a
i- on card games.
a'
a to begin bearing fruit a few weeks cc
after it is born? It must have time, In
f ample time, to be prepared for the ,
work before it. Above all else, the I
child must be a healthy animal. I do ly
not work with diseased plants. They It
do not cure themselves of disease. hi
They only spread disease among their hi
fellows and die before their time.
SLuther Burbank, in the Nautilus.
"He called me a silly fool; do you
r think that was right?" p
i "No; the word 'silly' was entirely
t unnecessary."
i' SAMIE PIOTTIE IFBI
tPROVES BENEFICIAL
y I derived so much benefit from the us
of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root that I be
h lieve it will be most important for the
public to know of is worth.
Last November I was suffering severely
with kidney and bladder trouble. 1 had to
c urinate every few minutes day and night.
The burning pain was terrible. I sent
i1 to you for one trial bott:e of Swamp-Root
r- and it relieved nme in about two hours.
5 After taking the small trial bottle could
o urinate as freely as I ever could and ifet
no more pain, so purchased one fifty-cent
bottle of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root. After
e taking the contents have not felt one pain
t- from the kidneys or bladder since.
;e You areat liberty to publish this testi
d monial should you wish to.
e Yours very respectfully,
it W. H. WARREN.
Gaineaborough, Tenn.
º' Sworn to and subscribed before me,
d W. F. Dodson, enacted Justice of the
- Peace of Jackson Co., Tenn., this 14th
i. day of July, 1909.
d ,,I,.. a W. F. DODSON, J. P.
IWhLe, n. i.
r. Prove What Swsamp-Root Will Do For You
e Send to Dr. Kilmer & Co., Uilgham
ton, N. Y., for a sample bottle. It will
convince anyone. You will also receive
a booklet of valuable information, telling
e all about the kidneys and bladder. When
e writing, be sure and mention this paper.
y For Pale at all drug stores. Price fifty
cents and one-dollar.
0
1- Saw Only Physical Idea.
One of his friends once asked Mr.
Darwin's gardener about his master's
i- health, and how he had been lately.
d "Oh!" he said, "my poor master has
o been very sadly. I often wish he
d had something to do. He moons about
In the garden, and I have seen him
e stand doing nothing before a flower
I, for ten minutes at a time. If he only
had something to do I really believe
,. he would be better."
" 16 YEARS OF SKIN DISEASE.
"For sixteen long years I have been
u suffering with a bad case of akin dis
ease. While a child there broke out a
red sore on the legs just in back of
my knees. It waxed from bad to worse,
and at last I saw I had'a bad skin
disease. I tried many widely known
doctors in different cities but to no
satisfactory result. The plague both
ered me more in warm weather than
in winter and being on my leg joints
it made it impossible for me to walk.
and I was forced to stay indoors in the
warmest weather. My hopes of recov
p ery were by this time spent. Sleepless
nights and restless days made life an
unbearable burden. At last I was
advised to try the Cuticura remedies
[Cuticura Soap, Ointment and Pills]
and I did not need more than a trial
to convince me that I was on the road
of success this time. I bought two
sets of the Cuticura Remedies and
after these were gone I was a differ
eat man entirely. I am now the hap
piest man that there is at least one
true care for skin diseases. Leonard
A. Hawtof, 11 Nostrand Ave., Brooke
lyn, N .Y., July 30 and Aug. _, '0)."
Putting in the Time.
A gentleman was engaging a gen
eral man and telling him what he
wanted him to do. "You will have to
clean the windows and the boots and
t the knives and go messages, chop
wood, cut short grass, mind the horse
and pony, look after the garden and
keep the house supplied with vege
tables and do any odd job that is re
quired and if suitable you will get
ten shillings a week."
"Is there any clay in the gardea?"
asked the man.
k "What makes you ask that?" asked
I the gentleman.
"I was thinking I could make bricks
r in my spare time," said the man.
The Big Show.
t The personally conducted tourists
Swere viewing the Egyptian pyramids.
"Goodness gracious!" ejaculated
Mrs. Newrocks, "it mast have cost a
pile of money to build them."
"8urest thing you know," said Mr.
Newrocks; "but don't imagine for a
moment that any one tourist agency
stood for all the expense-it was
probably a jackpot affair!"
Acmeo of Caatiouness.
Beymour-Young Ticer looks like a
cautious man.
Ashley-He is cautions; he's so ca
tious that he wouldn't ask the pret
tiest girl in all the world to let him
see her home unless he had learned
how far away she lived.
THEY GROW
Good Humor ahd Chsarfulnes Freom
Right Food and Drink.
Anything that interferes with good
health is apt to keep cheerfulness anad
good humor in the background. A
Washington lady found that lettling
coffee alone made things bright for
her. She writes:
"Four years ago I was practically
given up by my doctor and was not ex.
pected to live long. My nervous sys
tem was in a bad condition.
I "But I was young and did not want
to die so I began to look about for the
cause of my chronic trouble. I used to
have nervous spells which would ex
haust me and after each spell it would
take me days before I could sit up in a
chair.
"I became convinced my trouble was
caused by coffee. I decided to stop it
and bought some Postum.
"The first cup, which I made accord
ing to directions, had a soothing ef
feet on my nerves and I liked the taste.
For a time I nearly lived on Postum
an'd ate little food besides. I am today
a healthy woman.
"My family and relatives wonder if
I aip the same person I was four years
ago, when I could do no work on a
count of nervousness. Now I a:m do
Ing my own housework, take care of
two babies--one twenty the other two
months old. I am so busy that I hard.
ly get time to write a letter, yet I do
it all with the cheerfulness and good
humor that comes from enjoying good
health.
"I tell my friends it is to Postum I
owe my life today."
Read "The Road to Wellville," in
pkgs. "There's a Reason."
Ever read the re etterr A sew
sue ap~era froem time t ttime. They
re geantine, tre, ad fM ot Loerms
aterest.