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The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, December 20, 1886, HOLIDAY EDITION, Image 8

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San Antonio Light.
The City ol San Fernando de Austurias clam cocktail," I licard a young
WnN laid off by Don .loscpli An-' linio order ycstonlny at the 11 off.
.... i i'in u..- .. a. i.... mini House: "u largo glass and hot
tonio do illa-Scnor y Sanchez, a Illlc!, The bar-tender was
comptroller Kcncriil of tlio royal ,10t surprised, but roiiiarked calm
accounts of quicksilver, and cos-i jy as if ho hnd been asked lor a
niogrnpher of this kingdom (Sow milk punch, "You'll have to wait
Spain or Mexico.) Tlio following w'' scm ' kitchen for
, , , , .. .... .. clam Juice." I found nfterwnrds
Is taken from bis rcpoit "to tlio mt ;!,, L.(,,.tlli8 liro IIluch iu
king of Spain, in 1. 18," entitled, i Voguo among men who have been
province of Tcmis, towns and drinking very hard and have so
foils, (speaking of the Proi-iilio do ' weakened their stomachs as to bo
San Ant o do llc.xar,) ho savs: 1 I""1'1? .'" ,"lk,u .""!, Cl!"" n",'Ce
. , . . , ' , is said to bo better than medicine
'Ihis imiiienso country begin- f()r re8toIjng tone to the stomach,
iiingnt the .Medina liver, that J it is mado into a cocktail by the
divides the province of Coaguila i addition of whisky or gin. and is
from this. From tho Medina I usually fiuthcr fortilled with
liver to the Piesld f San An- I eit,icr ,,,,,.,cb. or roil popper. It
tonlo do HeMir, seven leagues,
This fort (i'residio) of Sun An
tonlo do Itovar is distant from
that of Monclova, chief settle,
n.entofNueva Kstrnmadura 1!!2 !
leagues, and Is tho capital of tho t i(j coining iuto gieat favor with
piovince of Te.Mis mid Now l'hil- nervous folks, who older whisky
ipliias.'althoiigh thcjpicsidio of our added to iced tea, and boast that
ladv del I'ilar do los Adacs ought " I" nervousness, sick head
. ,' .. . !, i . ... -i. I ache and I don't know what all.
o bo the capital on account of its u , , .R-inaii.t by card
being situated nearer to tho fron- pjCrs, who keep themselves
tier of Louisiana, and the river 1 awaku with it during all night
Xachltoccs. Tlio fort of Sun An- bouts at cards. "Tea cobblers"
tonlo has a gairison composed of ' arc much in demand at tho ladies'
a captain, one lieutenant, one en- 1 places on upper llroadwuy and
sign, one sargeant and forty-seven 1 Sixth avenue, and are simply
soldiers; it Is situated adjoining glasses of cold tea, milk, sugar
and contiguous to tho town of and whisky. An economical and
San Fernando, the church of which ' very tasteful drink that is current
is iu charge of a priest belonging among young clubmen just now is
to the diocese of Guadalajara. I the "clam shandy-gaff," which is
Climate is mild. It Is situated iu I mado by mixing a pint of chain
latitude 30 degrees and fi minutes I pagno with a quart of ginger ale.
and longitude 1!7I degrees and fi I One beauty of it is that it has all
iiiinutcN. I the harmlcssiiess of beer and is a
This town was founded by his
excellency, the Marquis of Casa I
Ktiertc, viceroy of this Xow Spain
iu the year 17.'ll. Contrary to tho
custom of his predecessor lie did
not give his name to tho town
that ho founded, but that of San
Kernaudo, iu honor of tho heir to
tho crown, the present Don Fer
nando dc Asturias, who now
governs Spain very happily. To
settle this town colonists
were brought from the Canary
islands, mid I was ordered to lay
out the egidios or town track and
survey nml put in possession the
settlers, which order I faithfully
executed." L. C.
He Took a Bath.
A Chicago gentleman, whoso
college education also included a
thorough familiarity with mixed
drinks, anchored iu our city on
Thanksgiving morning. Tho next
day he mado himself numerous
and found u location wherein to
display an elegant collection of
Hue engravings, etchings and
paintings iu water colors. Busi
ness was not as brisk as it might
have been, so ho used most of his
time in having a good time and
making it pleasant and entertain
ing for some young fellows he was
intimate with when he resided
hero six years ago. Kncouragc
mcnt such ns whisky punch, cock
tails and other oxhilorating bever
ages soaked his hido so thorough
ly that when ho decided to return
to Chicago ho thought it best to
get some of tho whisky out of his
system and go sober. Acting
upon tho ndvieo of a companion,
who had sailed iu tho saino boat,
ho went to tho artesian bath house
with a determination to sweat it
out with a hot bath. Tho bath
had the desired effect, but as tho
stimulating effects of the mixed
drinks began to wear off, out
raged nature asserted itself and
ho dropped asleep. lie dreamed
sweetly of a Star City grass widow
he onco met iu Chicago. As ho
dreamed ho began to slip gradual
ly down towards the foot of tlio
tub, until his head was clear un
der water. How long ho remain
ed in that predicament is not
known; but fortunately for him un
uttendent happened into the room
and seeing his dangerous posi
tion pulled him out of the tub
moro dead than alive. It was a
very narrow escape, and but for
tho fortimato appearance of tho
attoudant the Courier would have
had tho sad death of a promising
young imicago picture ueaier to
recoril. l.alnyette Courier.
The Whims ol the Moment in Drinking.
Fashion Among the Gilded Youth.
Many ciiccr ilriukn nro called for
lit tlio fashionable uptown bars in
the cotirso of tho iluy, mid moBt
of tlicm nro promptly compounded
liv t lie bar-tenders, "(limine u
when ho ordered his cocktail hot
for tho clam juico itself is always
drank cold
Tci1 W',H ,,n,cl!ia" , v"rio118
T"', "IK" '"iL.V"
score of times more pleasant,
That can't bo said of "brindlc,"
auotiicr iasnionanio ami now de
coction mado of champngiio and
porter in equal parts. It tastes
as harmless ns angelica wine, but
it is calculated to mako those who
drink it think next morning that
they must have loaned their heads
to a ball nine to pluy with over
Early Spanish Explorers of North
Ill) jn-n.ii('iiHtnllrlliv-I.uiilT.l
Spanish history, supported by
uniiupcuchcd documents, proves
that Spanish explorers and con
querers discovered, before any
other nation, the following por
tion of tho North American con
tinent, viz: Florida, in the tlrst
expedition under the command of
Juan Ponce do Leon, iu tho year
1512; by tho second expedition
commanded by I.tieits Vasquez de
Ayllon, iu 15U8; by the third under
command of I'ainlllo Narvaez in
1027; by tho fourth commanded
by Hernando de Soto, in 1538,
who was succeeded by Luis
Mocobo iu 1642, and by l'edro
Mclendoz some years afterwards,
tho latter having remained as
governor of Florida. All these
discoverers and Spanish conquer
ors disembarked in the bays of
Santa Itosa, in that of St. Ber
nard or F.spiritu Santo, and other
points of that vast extent of coast
and penetrated the following
countries, that of llarrihigua,
Moscoso, Umbarracuri, Anicra,
Oral!, Apalachi, Alsapulia, Cofa,
Mobila, Chusquicii, (! uingatu Uhan
quo and Giiachoya, where Her
nando do Soto died, ufter having
crossed tho Mississippi river and
penetrated the country as far as
tho Itio Negro, (black river,) in
1542. In all these countries tho
Spanish established numbers of
settlements and forts. Iu lf(il
tho French, under ltibaut,.discm
barked in Florida and founded
Cliarlcsfort, but tho Spanish gov
ernor, Mclendoz, attacked .Hibaut
and took him and his pcoplo pris
oner. Under tho name of Florida
Spain claimed all tho country
situated between tho Itio do las
Paliuas, which is the southern
limit of tho kingdom of Pntnuco,
(now Tamanllpaa,) to the 48 de
gree, or an extent of moro than
1,800 miles iu length, crossing the
Mississippi. At tho saino timo
tho Spaniards extended their dis
coveries and settlements iu Mex
icoin the Kingdom of Nuovo
Leon about tho year, ir!)!; in tho
province of Coahulla in 1000 and
llnally in Texas in 1000.
The Hungry Parson.
Widow Flapjack I' in glad par
son, that steps aro being taken to
prevent tho extermination of the
American singing birds.
Parson Surplus (who has been
invited to dinner) So am I,
Widow Flapjack, but at tho saino
timo I am grateful to providonco
that chickens don't know how to
"Bring on the fried chicken,
llotsy , said tho Widow Flapjack.
Arkansaw Traveler.
The New York Record.
Tho police mado 1,302 arrests
lust week.
Tlio ministers married 280
Tho doctors brought rrr pcoplo
into tlio world.
And various agencies sent 71fi
out of it.
A Proper Question.
Census-taker Where worn you
born, mudauil
Woman Home.
Census-taker Ah, of foreign
Woman No, Homo, Now York.
Census-taker Same thing.
Woman But, I tell you. I'm no
Census-taker Thou what are
you doing iu this country. Puck.
Educational Advantage.
Tlieediioatlonal advantages possessed
by Austin are not unsurpassed In tbe
aoutb. Her school, public and private,
alloril tlii vi-ry but possible prepara
tion for the university, which In Ita am
nio endowment ami the broad spirit of
liberality which marks hb auminiaira
tlon give promise of atandlng In a very
few years among the very beat Institu
tions or liberal culture on this continent.
The public, school system of this atate
la rapidly developing an etllctency and
thoroughness In sohool work which will
place It abreast if the most advanced of
me stales at no uisiaiiT nay. Austin,
as the state ciipltol, will naturally feci
the tlrst movement of every Impetus
given to school work. Her graded and
igh schools are of the very Mm order
and aufllclent pride Is taken In them tn
make them all that can be desired. Of
denominational, business and prlvato
schools, academies and colleges there Is
no lack, wniic, lo crown an, mere la
thestate university, with Its varied de
partments, and a landed endowment
that in a lew years win place at lis (lis
Dotal all the means nece aarv to carrvot
its work untrammeled by any laokof
tuntis. i nese aavantages oi an educa
tional character presented by Austin
will have their weight In determining
location, especially by those wbo have
families to educate. It Is not every city
can Dresentsnch attractions, and we feel
as citizens a just pride In calling the at
tention of Invalids and prospective set
tlers In the eouth to the very superior
advantages we oner an wno come to us
We are confident that as a health resort:
as a delightful place of residence: as a
borne, enloylng all tbe advantages of su
perior society, ripe culture and broad
educational privileges, we compare most
tavorauiy wnn any section ot tnese uni
ted mates, and It Is In this contldence
that we present our claims to all who
mink or coming souin.
Tbe; Far Eastern style.
New Local Man Here Is a local Item
about a man wbo got Into a squabble
last nignt anu was anooaea uown. 1
see by looking over your iltes that he
had n two-line advertisement In the
paper six months ago. Shall I mention
him by name, or simply say that last
nignt an auegeu unknown person is ai-
legeu to uave got into an auegeu un
pleasantness with another alleged per
son unknown, and It Is alleged "
Omaha Editor See here, young man,
you were not nonesi witu me.
"How so?'''
"You did not tell me you were brought
up in rnuaaeipnia."
"Dear met How did you flndltout?'
I umaua world.
A Mistake.
Hilly Sellers, a traveling man.
walling for tbe St. Louis girl he was
going to take io me tueatre to put on
her wraps.
"Ab." said he. as ho straved toward
the center table, "1 see that some of your
loiks are admirers or tne maniy sport
towuom uo mese ooxwg gloves oe'
"Will you bo kind enough to hand me
my ear-mulls, which you have In your
uanu,' sue returneu icuy.
A chilliness then arose between them
which has not been dispelled. Mer
cuani iraveier.
Sufficient Reason.
ltlcb banker. How can you afford to
sport that magnificent diamond r
Young man. Excuse me, I work In
tne oustom house.
Klch banker (deferentially). Ob!
beg your pardon . Life.
-'The Dor are Censured, While the
Hawlcn are Spared."
ftlltor I.ioiit
Don vlvants go Into spasms of ecstaoy
over this triumph of culinary art and tbe
flavor of this old wine of a memorable
vintage and educated eploures who have
forgotten more than I.ucullus.or Aplclns
ever knew about what was pleasant to
tbe palate, may boast of the loothsotne
ness of suoh a dish, but Ibesoandal mon
ger extracts far greater enjoyment from
a delicate oil ot scanuai man lion vl
vants or Epicures ever derived from the
most savory tusu, or me oiuest wine.
The scandal monger not only has the
keenest sort of relish for tales of scan
dal, but has a very keen scent for them
and is thereby enaoiea to track mem
through all manner of obstacles. And
tbey eclipse the best dress maker In
dressing up these tales of scandal, In the
most captivating style, covering them
with the gorgeous adornments of the
richest Invention, and converting a bint
Into a glgantlo scandal. The true scan
dal monger Is of no particular sex, age,
or nation, though evil-disposed persons
with n Buper-aounuance oi gaii anu cyn
icism In their composition, are wont to
assert that women are the only scandal
mongers. There aro men able to give
women two in me game anu neat mem
all to pieces. These male scandal mon
gers are endowed with a wondrous
faculty oi nosing otn oils oi scanuai, anu
the ranker ther nro "tho greater annetlte
they evince for them. Any tale ueroga-
lory to female chastity Is greedily
napped up ay me male scanuai monger
nil forthwith putalloat, with all possi
ble embellishments anil suggestions.
calculated tn Invest It Willi mien an air
of truth and seasoning as to render It I
current coin in conversation, lie lainy
gloats over a report that a woman has
fallen from virtue anil forever forfeited
her title to re.pectablllty. though It
would nuzzle him to explain why it af-
lords him such Intense delight as he
manifests. It Is an awful thing for a
oman to tilde Into unchaatoness. It
can be compared to nothing except the
falling from a precipice into a bottom
less abyss from whioh there Is no hope
of escape, whatsoever. She becomes
more and more shameless, more and
more debased. The bloom ot health and
the freshness of beauty are speedily
blighted bv dissipation ; the sense of
mouesiy anu uecorum is totally lost ; re
finement of manners disappears, and Is
succeeded by noerseness, slang and pro
fanliy. Whisky or opium are freely
used to drown recollection of the days
of purity and to silence the reproaches
or conscience, anu ere long urunkenneis
grows to be habitual. What a horrible
life! It makes one shudder to tblnk of
Its agony of misery and Its blackneaa of
despair. Ood pity tbe man wbo dashes
a woman into tne oottomiess aoyss oi
prostitution, and dooms ber to life-long
misery and debasement' Ood pity tbe
man whose heart thrills with joy at
tbe story that another woman bas been
shipwrecked. Ab. when a woman sac
rlllces ber virtue, the consequences are
horrible enough to wring tears of pity
from the devils In bell, yet tbe author
of her ruin walks tbe streets proudlv
erect, and basks In tbe sunniest smiles of
tbe world. Nobody censures bis base
belrayal or conliding woman, wholly
Inexperienced In the ways of the world.
Even the women make baate to apprize
bl iu that tbey have generously condoned
blaotlense, which was a venial one at
Its worst. The victim of his arts is alone
blamed, ostracised and despised and
hounded with a hue and cry Into a
brothel. She la alone blamed and pun
ished, while her aeducer la courted and
oarressed by society. Women are per
fectly rignt in noiuing aioor, socially,
from aucb members of tbelr aex they
could not do otherwise, but there la no
excuse for tbelr continuing to lavish
smiles upon tbe men that have undone
tnese poor women ana oiasiea ineir
lives. Tbe man Is tbe real wrong-doer,
tbe really guilty party, and tbe female
sex, at least, should punish htm by treat-
ingnim aa a aociai parian ana exciuaing
blm from society. Old you ever bear,
authentically, of a seducer that waa
frowned upon, repudiated and ostra
cised by women? Of course not. The
verdict of society bas condemned the
vlollm of perfidy and deoeptlon, but It
baa exonerated the beartleaa author of
ber ruin from all censure and guilt.
Such la human Justice! The rankneaa
of this Injustice crlea aloud to heaven.
My pen baa rambled somewhat from
me auoject, dui it nas not oeen a uigres
alon. Tbe acandal monger, or gossip,
whether male or female, la a stirrer up
of strife and contention In the commu
nity and rli-hly deaervea to be held tn ut
ter detestation. Mra. Urundy, Mra.
Gossip and Mrs. Illab keep tbe commu
nity In a condition of embroilment
and antagonism. Scarcely the moat
trivial affair can occur In your
household that does not reach
the wide-opened ears of ono of
these ladles, who hastens to put It In
circulation. Of course, the thing grows
as It travels. The aoandal monger, or
gossip la a anolal spy, wearing tbe dis
guise of a neighbor and a friend. Not a
word uttered in conversation escapes
through the mesbes of ber memory, but
la carefully packed away, and repeated
on tbe tlrst oocaslon. with additions and
embellishments, flattering to the fer
tility of her Invention, but damaging to
ber reputation tor trutbfulneaa.
It waa my mlafortmie last year, to
live Just across tbe street from Mra,
Orundy. and with Mra. Oosslp aa my
next door neighbor on one aide, and
Mrs. Illab as my next door neighbor on
tbe other, and tbey kept me In bot wil
ts, Tbey watches! my door to see who
called to see me and tbey photographed
the faoea and dresses of my guests and
proceeded to hang them up In tbe publlo
gallery. Once my brother, whom I bad
not seen for several years, came to aee
me be waa twenty-one tall, straight
and bandaome, and Mra. Orundy, Mra.
Gossip and Mrs. Blab, who aaw blm en
ter and quit tbe bouse, started a report
that I bad a lover wbo visited me In tbe
absence of my husband, and with many
shakes of tbelr beads, foretold a terrible
row. These, very good ladles are to
society what reporters are to newspa-
ers, news-gatberers, but tbey do not
olt and sift tbe nowa, and winnow tbe
cbaff of falsehood from the wheat of
truth, aa reporters endeavor to do. They
really feel tbey hare been deputized by
heaven to act aa tbe censors of manners
and morals and to keep society In tbe
straight and narrow path.
These tattling neighbors of mine just
worried the life out or me and kept me
In a constant stew, so at last, I entreat
ed my husband to rent our bouse and
to remove to another portion of the city,
and be cheerfully compiled with my re
quest, as he himself bad felt the tonguca
of our tattling neighbors on more than
oneoocaslon. Coiti Smitr.
Written for tlio Limit's Holiday I'.lltlnn.
By "Jkff. JotLTX."
The "smart Aleck" printer (aided and
abetted by a careless proof-reader) la
the bete notr of the writer's existence,
lie bas oaused more double-barreled,
balr trigger proranlty than any other
pest known to ancient or modern his
tory. Ilia forte Ilea In knocking tbe
bean-lllling out of a poet'a sentiment by
little "revises" of bis own In tbe rhyin
ster's versification, Injecting extrane
ous matter Into the humorist's articles,
and In gummlxlng things up generally
while setting up copy at his case.
To exemplify:
A vealy, ardent lover sends In some
lines addressed to bis soul's Idol, for
publication In tbe Sluuigulllon, after
this model:
"fair lady ! oh, my lair lady I
My heart holds thee supreme 1
Slnoe pledging me thy hand of silk,
I. tie's been ono joyful dream !"
Ve glzzardless manipulator ol tbe
-stick" alaps It Into cold type, thusly:
I ,., , . i.i, , mr land ladv!
. ' J vlhinvUur scheme-
Jlr ZJtVI, , 1,? .ifim.Inllk
,.ir..,".;....i...i vi '
, Isn't sucb mutilation enough to Insu-
j Uto tbe most lamb-liko sonneteer with
ferent varieties of clots? (Methlnks I
hear the publlo's united response:
"Well, 1 should vociferate to vocalize 1")
Again, when the prose Jester contrib
utes a playful "skit" of about the "10-cents-each,
three-for-a-quarter" calibre,
"Why Is a nloture that Is sent to an
etching exhibition like a merchant fall
ing in business?" Because both have
gone to tbe wall." The sense-wrecking,
point-spoiling follower of the art pre
servative transmogrifies tbe answer Into
a sentence that illustrates uis idea or an
act of terrestlal bliss, but which Is en
tirely non-applloable to the conundrum,
namely: "Because both have gone for a
'ball'". Then the butt of his malignant
didoes Is mortified to overbear unknown
persons In tbe street-cars with a copy of
the paper In tbelr band, ejaculating:
Wat a first-quality Insane crank that
would-be funny man Is that gets up
these far-fetcbed Jokes for the Slumgui-
llon!" or "That bum, 's witless
concoctions ougbt to be rammed down
bis throat with a crow-bar," and other
painful critloisms of his literary prowess.
He also cuts up capers with tbe min
ister's sermon In the Monday morning
edition. Tbe reader can Judge which of
tbe following la the parson's phraseolo
gy, and which Is tbe quoln-sllnger's :
"And when this wicked mortal, reek
ing wltb the unpurged sins ot a lifetime,
la expiring In tbe agonies of an awful
end, then, his repentance but alas, too
late will manifest Itself In these last
final words of advice, begotten of a sad
experience, to bis fellow man : Never
try to 'bluff1 a 'stayer' on one small
pair!" Tbe horrified divine mayn't
know much about "poker," but he'll
feel like breaking a good old heavy Iron
one across the typo's spinal Corinthian
pillar when his eye lights upon bis sac
rlllgeously maltreated remarks.
In my high-priced opinion no further
citations are necessary to prove that
this member of tbe International union
(No. 318,690,431.071 or thereabouts) who
"pi's" up the author's MS. till It looks
like a Sanscrit Jumble or an obelisk In
scription, Is a large disagreeable wart
on tbe face of tbe civilized globe, and
needs to be removed. He should be
mayhemmed, harl-karled, and eternally
combustltlcated. A blot on America's
esoutobeon, let us poor, down-trodden,
splt-upon and misquoted geniuses of tbe
press (including "patent Insldes") revolt
against the tyrant of tbe composing
room, and wltb one feroolous onslaught
erase blm from tbe Presentness of tbe Is!
Yes. I've been a victim myself; and
have "got It in' for tbe "Editing Com
positor" wltb the same degree of thug
glsh venom as I keep corked up for tbe
fellow who dally perpetrates this hoary
headed, Methuselab-ancestored pun, on
meeting me: "Ab! still 'Joslyn' around
1 see?"
If I ever do take this Job In my own
bands, (not waiting for my brother pen
wrestlers to join me In tbe righteous
crusade) and unbottle my wrath In pro
pria persona) against the E. C, there
will be a phenomenally sudden death as
sessment levied among the Printers'
Mutual Relief Fraternity for the benefit
of his bereaved family, now you hear
Willing to Accommodate Ulm.
Customer, Mow much are your fif
teen and a half collars?
Furnishing goods dealer. Thirty
Customer. Well, I have but twenty
live cents.
Furnishing goods dealer. I can give
you a size smaller for that. The
Bow to Get a Bargain.
Ithelnnold Decker, tbe old and reliable
furniture dealer of 11) and 23 Commerce
street, bas some good bsrgalns for cash
In furniture of all styles, house furnish
ing goods, deaka, etc. Those who con
template going Into bouaekeeplng, mak
ing Improvementa to their homes, or
fitting up offices, will do well to call and
examine bla stock and prices. They
will Sod tbat they will save money,
and trouble by so doing.

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