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rUBLISUED EYEP.Y THURSDAY MORNING. Every description of JOB PKIAT IJNU executed with Dispatch and A'eatnm— C hbap —for CASU. - ' Terms of Subscription. g®" Invariably in Advance. "'©t T h ree D ollars per annum, or F ite D ollars f >r two years. Two copies, (one year,) $ 5 00 Four " " " 10 00 Ton " " « 20 00 Single copies ....10 cents. Mexico. The condition of Mexico since the war with tills country has been pitiable in the extreme. Civil war has for over ten years pervaded the whole land. The scenc has been one of con fusion and anarchy, a chaos in which chance seemed to reign the sole umpire. The only exception seemed to be the success of the youth ful leader Miramon, to whom fortune has been more partial than to the cotemporary Mexican generals. This state of intestine feuds has been a source of embarrassment to our Government, and of serious damage to American citizens in Mexico. Bands of outlaws and robbers have attacked and murdered our people, and even invaded tho frontier. Tribes of predatory Indians have traversed the northern boundary of Mexico, and rendered the neighboring Territories of the United States insecure through their incur sions. Property and life have been at the dis posal of the military leaders in temporary as cendancy, or the prey of the robbers and sav ages in the more distant portions of the coun try. The hesitation and indecision of the American Government to afford protection to our citizens and restore quiet to Mexico, have been the cause of well-grouudcd complaint.— The capture of two vessels belonging to one of the belligerent factions in Mexico, has at last engaged the United States directly in the utruggle. The rubicon is past, and war seems inevitable ; its results cannot be doubted, and the destiny of Mexico will again depend on the determination of the United States. If abandoned to herself "Mexico would pro bably succumb to monarchy in some form.— Either Miramon would follow the example of Iturbide or Santa Anna, or would invite a Eu ropean Prince to plant a dynasty on this con tinent. Either course would be most injurious to American interests, and opposed to the set tled policy of the country. Oil the other hand, there are peculiar objections to the exercise of a qualified protectorate over a dependent neigh bor, especially by a Government like ours.— The only alternative is the annexation of the whole of Mexico, the extension of our laws over her territory, and the reception of her people to the privileges of American citizen ship. That such a course would be beneficial to Mexico in the highest degree admits of 110 doubt, and it would heal the wounds of civil war, place commerce ou a sure footing, and enable the inhabitants to develop tho resources of one of the richest regions on earth. It may be premature to call for annexation, but it is manifest destiny, and our increasing popula tion will fit us to sustain the task of regenerat ing Mexico by an infusion of new blood, and better social and political institutions.— Ex. Tlie EKpcdiiit'iii to China. The strength of the force intended for the third war with China is to consist, so far as England is concerned, of eleven regiments of infantry, each 1,000 strong, that is of 11,000 ; of 200 European cavalry ; of seven batteries of European artillery from India, and one Arm strong battery from England, say 800 men ; of three companies of European engineers, 300 men ; of three battalions of marines, 3,000 men ; of a-like number of sailors to serve on land, 3,000 ; of five battalions of native infant ry of Bengal, each 800 strong, or 4,000 men ; of three battalions Madras and Bonbay, each 1,000 strong, or 3,000 men; of 300 nativ cavalry ; of one battery of native artillery, 100 men ; and 200 native sappers and miners. The English portion of the allied army will then consist of 18,300 Europeans and 7.000 natives, or a total of 25,900 men, and adding to thi, 10,000 French infantry and cavalry, and say half as many marines and sailors as the English contribution to the allied force, or 3.000, and the total expedition will amount to 38.900, ex clusive of the allied navy, the base of operations lying out of sight of the coast. According to common report this armada is to proceed to Northern China, and to effect a lauding on the coast of the metropolitan province of the Em pire, which alone contains a population of 30, 000,000, or more than that of the United King dom of Great Britain and Ireland. If Pekin should be the destiny of the Allied army the distance from the nearest point of tho coast is one hundred miles by roads, or rather paths, never trodden by an European soldier. To make this long march it has no adequate means of land-transport, nor the remotest possibility of obtaining it. A miracle, therefore, observes the London Examiner, would alone convey it to Pekin, and if it got there, success and defeat would be equally disastrous, the first involviu, the overthrow of theChiuese Government, with the necessity of long occupation and perhaps of annexation, and the last the destruction of the Allied army. But whether on the coast of Pekin or in the capital, the army, should it tinue in Northern China but six short months, will have some severities of climate to counter. It will begin with a fine summer end ing in torrents of rain and cycloids, and thi: followed by a winter of Siberian rigor, when the thermometer falls occasionally in January to ten degrees below zero. The natives of Bri tain njust be well clothed and sheltered to put up with this, and those of India, who never see ice above a sixpence thick on a sheltered pud dle, must perish under it. The expedition will be under the direction of two diplomatists, two generals, and two admirals, and if the their harmony will be wonderful.— Xational Intelligencer. D istinguished C ompliment .—By late Intel ligpnee from Paris we learn that our distin guished countryman, J oiin L athiiop M otley of Boston,.author of the •• History of the Rise of the Dutch Republic," has been chosen Cor responding member of tho French Institute, l the department known as the Académie des Sciences Morales et Politiques, and iu the place nade vacant by the lamented death of Mr. t'rcscott. The work which has so promptly secured for its author this literary honor has become extensively known in Europe. Besides several English editions, there is a translation into trench, edited by M. Guizot ; an translation into French iu Belgium, and translations into Daich and into German. ther alio T SAMUEL BAKD, official -paper of the parish of ouachita. vol. x. monroe, la., thursday morning, april 1 2, isfio. EDITOR. no. 20. Tlie Trouble at 3Iesilla.--Order ltestored. The St. Louis Republican has a letter dated Mesilla, Arizonia Territory, March 19th, in which the writer gives the following account of the recent trouble at that place, etc., etc. : " Sincel last wrote you, scenes of nn exciting character have occurred in our usually quiet town, arid I have purposely delayed writing you thus long, that I might be able to give you not only a calm and dispassionate account of the difliculty / but also the result of it, upon our community. No person could for a moment suppose that a f rontier town of the importance of Mesilla. if destitute of bad men. We have them litre, Americans as well as Mexicans, and it is with this class of people that the troubles occurred. An American gambler and a Mexican first star ted the difficulty, the American pulling the Mexican's hair. The fellow then went off, pro cured a pistol, and shot at the American. Sev eral shots were fired in the melee, and only one person was injured, a woman, who was killed dead while quietly passing through the plaza. That night a portion of the American popu lation (principally gamblers) armed themselves and marched through the streets, killing what ever Mexicans they chanced to meet, During the night some five Mexicans were killed; their only offense, seemingly, was to have been un fortunate enough to be Mexicans. As several influential persons were killed, (all Mexicans,) the people naturally felt indig nant, and at one time I believe at least 300 Mexicans were under arms in the Plaza. Under these circumstances, it was deemed advisable to apply for aid; and accordingly application was made to Lieut, llowland, commanding Fort Fillmore, for a company of troops. lie prompt ly dispatched Lieuts. Cogswell and Frank, with seventy-four men, to our aid. The troops campccl near town; their appearance was the signal for a general stampede among the gam blers, who left town soon jifter the troops ar rived. This allayed the excitement greatly, and in a short time everything became quiet. During the difficulty one Prefect, by request, resigned, and our people appointed two Provi sional Prefects, one an American, Dr. L. S. Owings, the other a Mexican, Don Yjnacio Or rantia, one of the most popular Mexicans we have. Under their rulc'peaco and order have been once more restored, and as very nearly all the gamblers have left town, for good, the most desirable possible end has been accom plished. It will be the aim of our authorities in future to keep this class of mcn-from among us. Iu fact warrants have been issued for a great many, and if found here, they will re ceive no mercy from our people," About the Size of Farms. An old Roman story says: " A certain vine dresser had two daughters and a vineyard. When his eldest daughter was married, he gave lier a third of his vineyard, and raised as much on what ho had left, as he had raised on the whole. When his youngest daughter was mar ried he gave her half of what remained, and the product of his vineyard remained undimin ished.'' This was the result of his bestowing as much labor on the third part as lie had been accustomed to perforin on the whole. A great majority of farmers would profit by the exper iment of the old Roman. As a general rule w need smaller farms. All will agree that small quantity of land, when properly cultiva ted, will produce as much as double the quan tity impïoperly or poorly cultivated. W T e have heard farmers owning as high as a hundred acres of tillable land, say that their lands didn't pay. and that they must have more land cleared. Let us louk at his farm, and we will sSI clumps of bushes growing up in tho fence corners, around slumps and in open fields, growing and gaining ground every year. Iiis fences arc dilapidated and going down ; galet and barn doors are propped up, and an ap pearance of carelessness and neglect pervade.' the whole farm. He has no time to fix these things up. for he must work in his charing. No wonder his farm don't pay! He neglects to tend properly what he already has, in his hurry to get new ground ready fur wheat, or corn, a: the case may be. If, instead of clearing so much land, ho would properly cultivate what he has, he would find it would pay him, not I only iu a pecuniary point of view, but in the improvement and appearance of the place. — Instead of trying to extend the area of his acres, he should try to increase the products of them. Farming is a science, and can be stu died with as much piofit and pleasure as any other science, and it should be done. If a man can stock and carry on a farm pro perly, making the soil yield its greatest capaci ty, there can be no objection to him adding acre after acre, and thus securing the advanta ges which a large farm has over a smaller one. The size of tho farm should always be propor tioned to the capital invested, otherwise it won't pay. Let us labor to " improve and adorn what we already have." T lie II ero of the F iuut in tue G ci.f .—The Philadelphia Press, noticiug the news fron the Gulf, says: Captain Thomas Turner, of the United State.' sloop-of-war Saratoga, a citizen of Penn sylvania, (his family now residing in Philadel phia), led in the attaet on corsair. 1 " ! one of the last men to act without orders or with out full reflection and ample provocation. Ile is, although attached to a warlike branch of the public service, in every sense of the word, a christian gentleman, an active and conscien tious member of tlie Episcopal church, and a man of tlie strictest moral deportment. No officer in the navy is more thoroughly versed in maritime law, or more familiar with current events. T ooth- D rawing in S pain .—A recent traveler in Spain describes an itinerant dentist, in the public square at Cadiz, to whom a patient, in | the shape of a pain-stricken muleteer, came, j ...... r • , m 1 griping at bis jaw fer assistance. 1 he grave, Cinack üid not dismount, hardly stooped in Iiis ! saddle, but, with one experienced, far-sighted keen glance at tlie cavernous tootb, drew a . ™ , , ... . , ■ , , . , long Toledo rapier, with a curious twisted steel hilt, that bung liv his Fide, slipped the point under the muleteer's black fang, and scooped it out with a singl, twitch. With military pre ... cision he wiped his sword, slipped it back into, its sheath, held out his hand for the two-penny fee, touched his hat and rode gravely away. " J J * **•»*-* The principles of the Bible, broadcast among the nations, arc the seeds of their moral reno ration—the elements of their delivery from' the dominion and the miseries of sin.— K ey . J. H a wes, Patent Office Agricultural Report The last Report from the United States Com missioner of Patents embraces many elaborate treatises in regard to the treatment of soils, crops, and other subjects related to agricultu ral pursuits. The rapid deterioration of soil or productive capacity in the older States re ceived the attention of the "Advisory Board " of the Patent Office, who recommended iu Jan uary, 1859, that Congress should provide by law for tho encouragement of scientific and practical education in agriculture. In proof of the success which has attended the efforts of the Patent Office iu this direction, the number of agricultural societies in the United States within the last four years lias increased two or three fold, while agricultural schools and col leges arc organizing in different States, with promise of a race of farmers admirably quali fied for their avocation. According to tho re cords of the Patent Office, there* are now in this country not Air from one thousand boards and societies eonnccted wholly or in part with agriculture. In the State of New York there are 97; in Illinois, 9-1; Indiana, 77; Pennsylva nia, Ohio, and Iowa, each have about 70. The Zante current is a crop which promises well in Florida, Taxas, and California. Andrew W. McKoe, of San Francisco, writes as follows: "To the efforts of the Agricultural Division of the Patent Office, California is indebted for the introduction of most valuable vines of the Zante grape, which produces the celebrated dried currents of commerce. These are grow ing and thriving exceedingly well—a most sig nificant fact, when it is said that this variety of grape is rapidly failing, and great fears ar< entertained of its total loss, in tho country where it has hitherto been grown, the islands of Zante, Cephalonia, &c. Should these fears be realized, and this grape reproduced and brought to its pristine quality in California, it is believed that tho result to this State alone will tenfold reimburse tho entire appropria tions for that office. Six hundred and forty three vessels annually leave the Mediterranean for tho Atlantic ports, loaded with figs, lemons, oranges, limes, almonds, and products of the inc, to the amount of $7,250,000, the total yield from the Mediterranean, for all countries, being over $200,000.000. It is merely a ques tion of time, when California will supply lier sister States with the above named articles and still have more to spare." A single result of this kind is an ample return for all (he expen diture thus far incurred in the maintenance of tho Agricultural Bureau.— Journal of Commerce . Tlie Stuffed Cat. The Parisian papers tell singular stories, sometimes ; and in s-ucli a style, loo, that w aie compelled to believe them. Here is one of them : Au old rag-picker died, recently, in Paris, in a state of most abject poverty. Iiis only relation was a niece, who lived as a ser vant with a grccn-grocer. The girl always as sisted her uncle as far as lier means would per mit, When she learned of his death, which took place suddenly, she was on the point of marriage with a journeyman baker, to whom she had been long attached. The nuptial day was fixed, but Suzette had not yet bought her wedding clothes. She hastened to tell her lover that the wedding must be deferred ; she wanted the price of her bridal finery to lay her uncle decently in the grave. lier mistress ridiculed the idea, and exhorted her to leave the old man to be buried by charity. Suzette refused- The cousequcnce was a quarrel, in which the woman lost her place and lier lovor who sided with her mistress. She hastened to the miser able garret where her uncle had expired, and by the sacrifice not only of her wedding atti but nearly all the rest of her slender wardrobe, she had the old man decently interred, Her pious task fulfilled, she sat alone in her uncle's room weeping bitterly, when the master of her faithless lover, a good-looking young man, entered, "So, my Suzette, I find you havo lost your place," said he ; " I am come to offer you one for life. Will you marry me?" "I, sir? You are joking." "No, faith, I want a wife, and I'm sure I can't find a better." "But everybody will laugh at you for marrying a poor girl like me." "Oh ! if that is your only ob jection, we shall soon get over it ; come, come along, my mother is prepared to receive you." Suzette hesitated no longer, but she wished to take with her a testimonial of her deceased uncle—it was a cat he had had for many years. The old man was so fond of the animal, that he determined that death should not separate them for he had her stuffed, and placed her on tin toaster of his bed. As Suzette took down puss, she uttered an exclamation of surprise at find ing her so heavy. The lover hastened to open the animal, when out fell a shower of gold.— There were a thousand Louis conccaled in the body of the cat, and this sum, which the old man had starved himself to amass, became the just reward of tho worthy girl aud her disin terested lover. IIvimoruoniA and E mpiricism .—The London Morning Star says: Some time ago a statement appeared in all the journals that ten persons had been bitten by a inad dog at Autlion (Eure-ct-Loire.) The Jounal de Chartres now announces the death of the fourth victim, a little girl, who had ap peared quite well till three or four days back, when the dreadful malady appeared and car ried her off in a few hours. The six other per il t of all danger. The sons bitten seem to I same paper then proceeds: -Thirty years a.^o three persons of that village were bitten by a mad Two of thom * , Iïd tn a was said to possess an infiilHMc cure for hydro phobia, handed down from father to sou foi SÖPerations. T hey both got well, whlli the third, who applied to a regular practition ,. r a few (1 ^ s aftcl . TWs fllct ' v a9 Imi versally known in the country round and when tho last sad affair occurred, six o i '.VÎ i" *•" °' t pine, who now possesses his fatlnr s secret, tin other four being treated by professional men The result is that the ?ix survivors are those who had recourse to the secret remedy, while the four who have died were treated by the faculty. VTe cannot explain these fact! * we cau guarantee their authenticity." but The Red Kiver country is reported to suffering greatly for want of rain. The same the ca.tc in the EüuJcra portion of Tcxa?. Sunday Column. Home I^ife. If home life is well ortlere'd, the children having, according to age, working time, play time, books, games, and household sympathies, they will love home, and find pleasure there. Give the little ones slates aud pencils, and icourage their attempts to make pictures.— Drawing will amuse them when noisy plays have lost their zest, or are unseasonable*, and t will be useful to them in after life.— Have them read to each other stories and par agraphs of your selection«, and save the funny things and tho pleasant ones you see iu papers and books to read to them at your letsuie. You cannot imagine how much it will please them, aud how it. will bind them to you. But choose well for them: for the impressions made on their minds now will last when the hills crumble. Have them sing together, and sing with them, teaching them songs and hymns: - Let them sing all day—like the birds--*?/ all proper times. Have them mutually interested in the same things, amusements, and occupa tions; having specified times for each, so that their habits will be orderly. Let them work together in the garden—boys and girls—both need out-of-door work. Together let them en joy their games, riddles, etc., all their plays, books, and work, while the parents' eyes direct and sympathize, aud their loud voices blend in loving accord, A Beautiful Extract—Woman. Oh ! the priceless value of the love of a true woman! God cannot purchase a gem so pre cious! Title and honors confer upon the heart no such serene happiness. In our darkest mo ments, when disappointment and ingratitude, with corroding care, gather thick around, and even the gaunt poverty meuaces with his skel eton finger, it gleams around the soul with an angel's smile. Time cannot mar its brilliancy, distance but strengthens its influence, bolts and bars cannot limit its progress, it follows the prisoner into his dark cell and sweetens the home morsel that appeases his hunger, and, in the silence of midnight, it plays around his heart, and in his dreams he folds to his bosom the form of her who loves on still, though tin' orld has turned coldly from him. The coucli made by the hands of a loved one is soft to the weary limbs of the sick sufiercr, and the po tion administered by the same hand loses half its bitterness. The pillow carefully adjusted by her brings repose to tho fevered brain, and her words of kind encouragement revives the sink ing spirit. It would almost seem that God, coiupassioning woman's first great frailty, had planted this jewel in her breast, whose heaven like interest should cast into forget fulness man's remembrance of the fall, by building up in his heart another Eden where perrennia! flowers forever-blooni and crystal waters gush from exhaustless fountains.-— S tr.vttox. The Singing: Fish of Ceylon. Oil the ooension of another visit which 1 made to Batticaloa in September, 18-18, 1 made some inquiries relative to a story which 1 had heard of musical sounds, said to be heard issu ing from the bottom of the lake, at several places, both above aud below tho ferry, oppo site the old Dutch Fort; and which the natives suppose to proceed from some fish peculiar to the locality. The report was confirmed to mo in all its particulars, and one of tho spots from whence the sound proceeded was pointed out between the pier and a rock which intersects the channel, two or three hundred yards to tho eastward. They were said to be heard at night, and most distinctly when the moon was nearest the full, and they were described as resembling the faint sweet notes of the vKoliau harp. 1 sent for some of the fishermen, who said they were perfectly aware of the fact, and that their fathers had always known of the existence of the musical sounds heard, they said, at the spot alluded to, but only during the dry season, and they cease when the lake is swollen by the freshet after the rain. They believed them to proceed from a sin 11, which is known by the Tamil name of ( ooric coolooroe cradoc) or tho "crying shell," a name in which t'so sound seems to have been adopted as an echo of the sense. I sent them iu search of the shell and they returned bringing me some living speci mens of different shells, chiefly lillorinu and ccrithium. In tho evening, when the moon had risen, I took a boat and accompanied the fish ermen to the spot. Wo rowed npout 200 yards northeast of the jetty by tho fort gate; there was not a breath of wind, nor a ripple, except that caused by the dip of our oars; and, in coming to the point mentioned 1 distinctly heard the sound in question. They camo up from the water like the geutle thrills of a mus ieal chord, or the faint vibrations of a wine glass when its rim is rubbed by a wet linger. It was not one sustained note, but a multi tude of liny sounds, each clear ami distinct in itself; the sweeter treble mingling with the lowest bass. On applying the ear to the wood work of the boat the vibration was greatly in creased iu volume by conduction. Tho sounds varied considerably at different points, as we moved across the lake, as if the number of the animals from which they proceeded was great est in particular spots ; and occasionally w It i»t i\t of rowed out of hearing of them altogether, until, on returning to the original locality, the sounds were at once renewed. This fact fie dicatc that, the causes of the sounds, whatever they may be, are stationary at several points ; and this agrees with the statement of the natives that they arc produced l»y mollusca, and not by fish. They came evidently and sensibly from the depth of the lake, and there was nothing iu tho surrounding circumstances to support a conjecture that they could be the reverberation of noises made by insects on the shore, convey ed along the surface of the water, for they were lend est and most distinct nt those «points where the nature of the land and tho intervention of tho fort and its buildings forbade the possibili ty of this kind of conduction. Sounds some what similar are heard under water at some places on the western coast of India, especially iu the harbor of Bombay. At Caldera, in Chili, musical cadences are stated to issue from the sea near the landing place ; they are described as rising and falling fully four notes, resembl ing the tones of harp-strings, and mingling like those at Batticaloa, till they produce a musical discord of great delicacy and sweetness. The animals from which theyprocc * have not been identified at either place, and the mystery re mains unsolved, whether those at Batticaloa are given forth by fishes or by mollusccs.— Sir ./. Emerson TmneCs Oy Ion. T ime am> E ternity .—We step on earth, we look abroad over it, aud it seems immense- -so does the sea. What ages had men lived, and knew but, a portion ? They circumnavigate it now with a speed under which its vast bulk I shrinks. But let the astronomer lift up his glass. | and he learn? to believe in a total mass of mat- : ter, compared with which this great globe it self becomes an imponderable grain of dust.— Aud so to each of us walking along the road of life, a year, a day, an hour, shall gr" older the time vhen we lift up to look I k but, of years which have rolled over the human j race, vanish : nto a point ; for then we are i measuring Time against Eternity. A generou-. virtuous man. lives not to the I world, but to his own conscience; lie. as the planets above, steers a course 'contrary to : h At of the world. B acon. Dignity of Character, The worn dignity is often falsely appreciated. It is by ulany persons supposed to relate to that which is grand aud lofty, and is associated only with the characters and actions of those who occupy elevated positions in society.— But true dignity, which is the opposite of mean ness, belongs to no one condition of life exclu sively, au 1 it is to be found in the cottage as 11 as in the palace, among the humble and labouring) classes as well as among the titled and wealthy of the land. It is not to be denied, howeve»' humiliating may be the admission, that many women ami pspeeialyjto young women we address the«-» re marks—'pay but little regard to true dignity i»t character, that their estimate of dignity is i\t variance with truth, frivolous in its nature und destructive iu its tendency. Entertaining the idea that to be dignified one must be proud, that to ejeeito admiration in others one must make display of what is not commonly possess ed, the unhappy victims of these ephemeral de sires neglect substantial qualities and exhaust the best energies of life. To make a display of learning, virtue, relig ion, generosity, wit, originality, money, proper • rahk, is incompatible with true dignity of character. Faithfully to discharge the duties which de volve on us, conscientiously to recognise and ful fill every obligation of our position, to do our duly in the monotonous and quiet scenes of practical life, constitutes oue claim to truedig nity. 1L is only by seeking in youth to devel ope habits of industry, order, and self-restraint that we can hope to attain this character, or to be rendered lit for the trials and duties which await us.—Life Illustrated. Memories of the Quarantine War. Some time ago a good story was published in the Express, illustrating the strict discipline practisOd by a soldier of one of our New York Regiments of the Fourth Brigade. The fol lowing, which shows the oilier side of the ques tion, i« told bv an officer who formerly held a high position in the same corps : " One day, at the usual time of guard mount ing, olie of the soldiers agreed with another to cover liim as his rear rank man, remarking at the same time that he had got a flask of excel lent gl|i, which, " be the powers, Pat asthore," said he, " 'ill keep the cowld out of our sto machs when we go on senlhry." Accordingly, after the sentries'were posted at night, Tom, which was the name of the man who carried the spirit ration, left his post and went up to Pat. it I | : Pit, ye devil." said he, " are you there?" F«ix I am," said Pat, " an' its moself that ies I was any place else this blessed and ho ly night." A|isy," Faid Tom, " I'll soon give you some thing that 'ill warm the cockles in yer heart.'' Tom accordingly laid down his musket, took out tlie bottle, and after taking a hearty "swig." handed it to Pat. Tom's astonishment may be imagined when Pat informed him that lie was a prisoner. " What for, achushla ?" asked Tom. " What for, is it? 'Pou me sowl. ye seem to forget that you've committed an awful crime. Didnft ye lay down yer musket, yerblaggard ?" " Well, shure, I'll take it up again." " The devil a take, ma bouehelleen bwe, ( myj little yellow boy,) just lave id there, darliu', until 1 call the sargent o' the guard." " Oh ! Put, avourneen, is id In ahnest ye " Ve may jist whistle that, or sing It, af ye havtl 111' air of it, Tom, dear." " Och I Pat, don't. Jist remember our com pany has never had a man in the guard house yet, agra, only think av the disgrace." I can't help that. A man that id lay down his gun to dhrink gin shouldn't be thrusted wld one, I must call the sargent." (Visy now, Pat, darliu'; all the money I have Ivo dollar goold piece, and I'll give it to if ye let lue all- only this wan time, Pat, a hjigar." " Well, see here now, to show that it's not for per dirty money I care, I'll let ye all' nn' you may keep your Y. Give me a howlt o' the bot tle now." Tom handed him tlie bottle, and, seizing his miiBket, returned with great alacrity to his post. Tn the meantime Pat drained the bottle, and wllcn he had finished, left his post aud went to Tom's. " Who comes there ?" said Tom. " Rh— -sh—eh—" said the other, " I've brought the bottle." " Hand it here then," said Torn. Pat laid down his musket, when Tom imme diately made him a prisoner. In vain he im plored, and reminded Tom how he " was'nt hard on him, so he was'nt." It was 110 use Tom was inflexible. At length a third sentry interfered, and Tom said—" Very well, I'll let you off; hand here the bottle." Pat handed the "crushkcen" to Tom, who held it up to the moonlight, and found it as empty as his own head. " Hillo," said he, " what's this? O ! be the powers av war, but ye're a prisoner now aud stakt " What has he done now?" said the third. "Done? Enough to have him tried be a (Soort martial." said Tom. "Oh! well," said the pcace-maker, ''you promised to let him off, and an Irishman should never break his word." " But, blur an-ouns man, he has committed two crimen ; didn't he first lay down his mus ket?" " Well, you forgev him," " Yen, but, be the mortshall, I didn't forgive Holy St. Pethe ; .Sarious, is id ? : I belc hed the gin, am you, i rough 11 j i I to boy. He has fl an empty bottle." " The dickens he has. Then, Tom, you must make him a prisoner. Tho man that id give an impty bottle to a shinthry, id lake another man's life." Just as he spoke the relief came up, and Pat was marched to the guard-house. Next day he was punished by not being per mitted to leave the camp, but the whole story, as above related, leaked out only a few weeks ago, and many a hearty laugh hab there been >iuce at Pat's < xpen .-se. Tlie Mysterious Cnskef. Among the annoyances to which people who judge by the exterior arc frequently subjected, is that of finding themselves frequently mis taken iq their estimates of the mass of humani ty as it reveals itself amid the crowds of a busy city. Numerous arc tho ludicrous blunders which havo conic to our knowledge in con sequence or the too hasty deference of man kind toward out waul appearances, and no where is it more extensively developed than on board tho steamers, where men whose ambition iu life has never soared beyond t humble pursuit, often pass, owing to something distingue in their appearance for Senators, Governors and what not, until accident re veals them in their true colors to their fellow passengers. A ludicrous Instance occurred a few days since iu an omnibus, of which a dig nifled gentleman of very saturine aspect and immaculate clothing was a constant patron. This gentleman carried, morning and evening a gold-headed cane and a small tin box with a handle, In which were supposed to be deposited large amounts of coin and the secrets of an important business- impressions which his supercilious demeanor only strengthened. One morning, however, the fatal secret leaked out and all deference was at an end. The gen tleman had laid his carefully-guarded box upot his kneesf and was absorbed in the morning paper, when a couple of pretty ladies entered. Lifting the casket by the handle as he shifted his seat, the treacherous lid, which had ac cidentally been left unlocked, $jtw open, and out fell—a rouleau of gold? n trousseau diamonds?jewels- ingots - papers! No tuer ly two slices of bread and a Bologna sausajj Since the morning of that important discovei omnibuses have lost a customer, and the nu of the supercilious aspect, unless ho conccn them iu his coat tails or bosom, has given up tho practice of carrying luuohes to his ofiicc. lie Alluded to Cows, In the agricultural districts the operation of milking cows is called "pulling teats." This is the preface to our short but affecting story. The people of S . Portage county, have a debating focic'y. The other night they dis cussed the question: "Is the human race in creasing iu development?" The tchoolhousc was crowded with young Indies and gentlemen. One of the dispiHunU for the negative ably contended that the times wire degenerating that things were growing "wusa" constantly. Said he: Why, what upon airth does the young man of to-day amount to? Hols feeble In body and mind, wears fine clothes that his father buys him, has rings on his fingers and a little hair on ills upper lip. and tho hardest labor he can perform is to carry round a meerschaum pipe. Now. when I was a boy we wore not afraid to pull teals!' 1 A wild shout greeted this announcement. The speaker blushed, aud in a faltering voice, « it 'aid: "/ alluded to cars." That helped the matter S okn'k B kpouk a G uam» .)i uv. ( I'ntor a «I consolate looking female, without hoop.».) Foreman.- Madam, what complaint have y to make ? Complainant. I come to enter complaint agin' my companion. Fore.—Your husband. I suppose ? Well, what is his name, ami what has he done ? Com. —Ills name is Mr. , and he st me, and beat me, and threw mo "out door," and threatened to kill uie if 1 come in the house again I Koro. What provocation did you give him, madam, for such treatment? Com. 1 don't like to Uli, sir. Fcro,—But, madam, you mu^t ! Tlie Grand Jury must know all the circumstances. Com.—Well, if 1 must, I must. He done it just 'cause I wouldn't sleep with 'im. Fore— Ali ! that's the nature of the ease is it? Very well, why did you refuse to sleep with him? Com.—'Cause he was drunk, and I didn't want to. Fore.—Well, how is it when he's sober ? Do you refuse to sleep with him then ? Com. No, sir; but when he's sober he won't sleep with me 1 M oumonikm jn tu« (M .n D ominion . Though it is not generally known iu that sc lion of the country, the Wheeling ( Vn.) Union asserts that uu association of Mormons not only exists, lint nourishes iu one of the sections ot Wheeling. The Union says : They have been in successful operation for about a year, and have succeeded in converting forty or fifty of the citizens of (hat vicinity to the strangf! belief. On Sunday, the Cltli tust., live new members made an open declaration of "Joe Smith" principle, and took upon them, selves the "duties" of Mormonism. by undergo ing a process of immersion pvbiiüy. They have an cld«T. and all the ollleiuls pertaining to the institution, and make it convenient t entertain traveling sa! i Utah-bound. They f the Brigham Voting stripe, arc not. howe but strictly ot the Jo sequently cute 1 but < ! wife euch." ßftr A little boy named George, nged ab four years, the son or Mr. Georg" G.' Wills of this parish, was drowned in .lie lake, front of his father's house, on l e t Tl.ni>« forenoon, lie had been pbiving with one of little negro children, by whom'the lirst intii tionofhisl lug drowned was given. Tho gro child wi„ too young to be able to give 1 particulars of the melancholy occurrence. ' body of little Oor ■ was found, not long a the occurrence, floating on tin surfac water. Every - Hort was made liv ton. who happened to be at M the tirna, to resuscitate the body the vital spark had left it 1 Providence Herald. >f the! Dr. Hough-! Query for Lawyers. If. in 11 fliindy nr liront, John I)oo si M four n pire-; I Jack lino'« uiiim-ntioiinWi y. Query: In Mich u cusfj us tliif, AVI, m ^ iw.uld .-ach put bu-. Should .lin k It'* Mic l'or a breach of lie: pme I the 1 advertising rates. For one square of ten lines, or less, for first insertion SI For each additional insertion, per square 50 Liberal discount made to quarterly semi-annual aud yearly advertisers. pti- Steamboat Notices, for the season. .$15 Announcing candidates for c*fice (to 1 e paid in advance) ...fio Professional and Business Cards, (not to exceed six lines,) published twelve months.. $'.0 Cards of a pkksonai . character can only be published in this paper as advertisements,at double rates, and paid for in o dwnvt. Advertisements not nmrke'd on the copy will be inserted until forbid aud charged ac cordingly. Utlle-or-Notliiiigs. « J map of busy lift-Us fluctuations and its vast ci)iiccms. v —Cow PK». T ransporte»» pou I .ikk . The man who mar ries happily. When women begin to count their admirers, it isn't apt to take them long to do it. The coat of a liorso is the gift of nature.— That of an ass is oft en the work of a tailor. Asa man drinks he generally grows reckless. In his case, the more drams the fewer scruples. At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve. An Irish paper advertises,- - ' Wanted, an able bodied man as washer-worn an." Win couldn't Job sleep at night? Ikcauw) such miserable comforters, he ha The studio of a first-rate portrait-painter must be a perfect bedlam—it Is full of striking likenesses. The young woman who was "driven to dis traction," now fears she will havo to walk buck. "Von seem walk more erect than usual, my friend." ' Yes, 1 have been straitened by circumstances," ' Can't we make your lover Jealous, miss?" "Oh yes, sir, I think we oun, if we put our heads togrther." A modern tourist calls the Niagara river "the pride of rivers." That pride certainly hau a tremendous fall. T ovo can excuse anything except meanness ; but meanness kills love, and cripples even na tural affeotion. Sho that marries a man because he is a "pood match," must not bo surprised if he turns out» "kuoifer." Who is the thinest servant mentioned In his tory?—Tho valley (valet) of the shadow of death. Why was llerodlas the fmlest woman of her day ? * lieoause she got a head of John the Bap tist. on a charger. Excess of ceremony shown want of breeding. That civility Is best which excludes ull super fluous formality. The love that has naught but beauty to keep it In good condition, is short-lived, aud subject to shiveting Ills. An English missionary now iu Sumatra late ly wrote homo that he had tho "satlsfacHon" i f examining the oven In which his predecessor was baked. There h a lawyer in Plymouth, Enjrlaud, so excessively honest that he puts all his How er po's out over nights, so determined is he that, everything shall have its dew. Why i* a man climbing up Mount Vesuvlun like uii Irbhiuan who wishes to kiss his sweet heart? Because ho wants to get at the mouth of the "cratur." qnitk. IJ .nniaikssvhy. A lady being asked to join a union of the "PutighlcrH ot Temperance, ' replied : "It is unneoesi-ary, as I Intend to join one of the Sous, soon." Sensible lad), that. In literature, as in morals, there are a certain taste and grace, which confer dignity on mo derate acquirements; and there uro a negli gence and gi'vw-sness thai disgust, even when accompanied with iucontestible superiority. 10very deslro bears its death In Its very grati finition. Curiosity languishes under repeated stimulants, and novelties cease to excite sur prise, until at loiigth we cannot even wonder at a miracle, Washington Jiving.' C onhciknck .- "It is a deplorable condition," siiys liishop Sherlock, "Iu be always doing w hut we are always condemning." The reproaches of others are painful enough; but w hen the Int-li is laid on by your own hand, the anguish is in tolerable. F ashion a n 1,p. C olons . Tt may be interesting; to our fair render« to know that the color most iu vogue in the English 1 louse of Lords, on tho opening of I'nrlinmcut, was mauve, but of a much lighter tint than w as fashionable lust sea - son. Next in popularity was pale blue und white. A Yankee 1 ditor »ays : "We don't in-ucl re cording the deaths of people without being paid for our trouble though that i- s ndt lair; lui t panegyrics 011 the dead must be paid for wo positively cannot send people to II« aven for nothing." "My son," said an affectionate mother to her son, (who resided at a distance, aud expected, iu a short time, to be married.) "you are get ting very thin." "Yes, mother," lie n pliid, "I am; when I come next I think you may sec my " rib. " A chaplain was once preaching In a class of collegians about the formation ot habits, "Gen tlemen," said lie, "cl0*0 Vour ears against bud discourses." The students immédiat* ly clap ped their hands to their cars. One person abusing another in the prcserirn of Churchill, the poet, said, "He was so ex ly stupid, that if you said a good thing 11 Id not understand it." "Play, sir," said Churchill, "did you ev< 1 try him?" A man asked nnolher, "Which is the heavl est, a ijuart fil'giii or a quart of water ?"- -(Jin, most assuredly, for I saw a man who weighs two hundred hounds staggering under a quart, of gin, when he would have carried a gallon of water with ease." Won't you /<//.< my word, sir, wlun I tell you 1. will call and pay your bill 011 Saturday morn ing next?" said a delinquent debtor to a dun ning creditor, wiili win 111 ln> had had sharp words. "No, sir." 1» plied the other, "1 had rather you would hrrp your word," The repose of the passions must not Imply their Hlu r nation. Tiny must rouse themselves at Imt and go forth, though it I e only to benr a burden ami be hnflM by defeat. ,Successful or ha filed, their duly is in the struggle. Tho Struggle itself, is the life. Simms. A schoolmaster, who had an inveterate habit of talking to himself, was asked what niolivo he could have in doing ko ? I le replied that ho had two good and substantial reasons, ' I 1 the (ir t place, he liked to talk to a semiblo man; in the second place, he liked to heal a si risible man talk." "Perhaps Brother Jonathan docs carry hh hands in his pockets," said a drawling Yanki o iu dispute with an Englishman, "but the ditb 1 - ence between him and John Hull i : :, that Hro Iher Jonathan has his hands iu his own pockety, while John Bull has his iu somebody else's," Titer r, a stuavckii . "Jack Is a g cod fellow, lie for any man. I I.. vu tU, still more." ' My but I will not t.'lt m my fr'h'iul. but 1 lovi denr," said a by-stai should you preli r a s riger to mow! Win old aequain i Last .Sunday, Father B was ndtiiliilutci ! ing baptism to a number of pocket editions < , humanity. The godfulhep and inothi rs mos ly Irish while standing' around the charv" irreverently talked much to each otle r in loud whispi-r. This annoyed the good lathe who rebuked them, in the midst of his pray ! as follows : '■<>,. /mus Domine will ve pluse 1 top yer talking; «aire, an ho v can* I pi oca. itli the il \ ice; do you After thi> r» pr lind.