Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects.
INCOMPETENCE IN THE NAVY.
11M colliding and grounding In New York
harbor of three of t'nele Sam's biggest
lighting macnines allow our navy is not
projierly officered. From $0,000,0n0 to
$lO,tN)(t.<NjO of tin* people's inon*\v Is In
vested in each of these boats. Extreme
car* should he exercised in their handling
so that the period of usefulness he made the greatest
possible. Vet hi our own witters, beneath n fair sky
ami. with a high tide running, these warships had to
be grounded to avoid sending one or more to the bot
tom and. while in this tlx. a not Iter was rn tuned.
A sufficient excuse for this Inefficiency will l»e hard
to find. «>ur warships art* neither pressed for time
nor tide: they can stay at anchorage until fogs and
tempestuous seas disappear and until there is water
enough in shallow places to get out safely into the
oftlug. Such flimsy pretext as not having a pilot on
each vessel or that the water in the channel was at
low tide will not answer. The truth Is the boats were
so close together and going *o fast that the slightest
Interruption in speed was eertaiu to result disastrously.
Th'»se *l:ips are fitted with every modern device to les
sen speed in an emergency but the proximity was such
that even these safeguards were unavailable. The Ken
tucky's sides were rammed so badly that it will nptire
a month to repair the damage. The wonder Is that she
escaped going down, only for a «111icU reversal of the
engines in the Alabama the consequences would have
The friends of an enlarged navy are east down by
tin* Inexcusable blunder in New York bay At a time
when Congress was being importuned to vote large
Kttms for new warships this collision takes place to
throw cold water on their urging. The question at once
presents itself: Is it worth while to authorize new
sli ps when those in commission are In incompetent
hands': Would it not be wise to spend money to make
officers capable and trustworthy before making addi
tions to our naval strength, only to have the new boats
served by those untitled lor the task? Ctlca tJlobe.
WE ARE NOT -GOING TO THE DOGS."
■—- L - - ANY have got :ui idea, from the <<MKntlon.il
announcements of measures under way,
that tin* people of this country are engaged
in a !ife -and-deatli struggle with the great
financial ami industrial interests,
i'!i" people have been pictured as helm;
strangled in iln» tentacles of hideous octopl
until i:i:iny seriously believe tliat to be their real condi
tion. That there are wrongs In big business enter
prises :;nd in small, there ran ho no ipicstlon. That
v.isc remedies better tho condition of all is not to
I»ut tint this country is iroinj; to tho demultlon how
wows unless things ar<* promptly turned upside down
an i inside out is poppycock. The whole business struc
t ir.» re-is and has always rested on the eouvletion that
men wiil fulfill their obligations and deal fairly. This is
tit-' f-vuv.dation of credit. Ninety live jn»r cent of the
t >t:11 business transactlons of tliis country are curried on,
not in i'jisli. but in credit based on that conviction, show
ing how general it is and how lirin,
4'onlidence, not suspicion, is and must be the prevail-
'l. ' / 7
"What is the cause of all tills hark
ing, iiiadame? What is the cause of
all this Imrkhig?" exclaimed i'a Jones,
us !i" impetuously rushed in to tliehap
py honi" nnil threw his hat and coat
on the hall rack instead of tlie usual
spot on tiie west end of the piano,
"iiii' might think that thW house was
a k'oodlc pound! *»ne might think
that you were giving an imitation of a
ciiiiine chorus ill the good old dog
days! Have you ail taken cold at the
same time'; I* id you liml a job lot of
Itltluouza mi a bargain counter, and
liny the whn'p business? I heard you
whooping i! up a mile down the street!
I heard you above I lie dill of the trol
leys! There is no mistaking 1 lie sweet
contralto sneeze of your dear mother!
There is no mistaking "
"Don't get overheated, you nice old
yap!" interrupted Ma t savagriy ilirow-
Itg her e:isrie eyes on the esteemed
llenry. "There Is no use having a
rush of l.iood to the vacant room in
your dome: It isn't my ft Mill because
we have all taken cold! It Isn't my
fault hecHcse you were so close listed
that you wouldn't get weailtei strips
for the ii . n-s! Hut it will lie my fault
If we tloh'; get cured, and that pretty
i|tliok! So you Just sneak to the
'phone and call up the doctor! lie
w isii'i iii when I
"What's that. madame? What's
that. Mrs. Jones?" wis the shoutful
Interjection of I'a. "l'lease sing that
Again so that 1 can catch tlie tunc!
Kindly hum 1; again so that I will
know when in on the dance
ii':! Do you think that I am going
to encourage a doctor In a game of
graft like that? Do you Imagine for
one moment that I am going to p.iv
a medlcnl geezer at the rate of two
dollars a l ead jllst to collie here ami
tell you all to dress warm ami keep
your feet dry? Not on your life, angel
v/Vc! Not on your life! 1 will he the
di'lor! I w ill he Ills S'|iil!!ful nibs!
"!s that so, Mr Jones?" rejoined
M i, la a palpitating tone. "Well, don't
you think It! Don't you even dream
It! Vou can take all the patent slush
wish that you want to, from speckled
l.iir dye down to painless corn oint
ment, but I want you to distinctly un
it ■ s'anil that you can't give me any
of your coon song and banjo cough
euro, even if a thousand testimonials
do ootue wJjlj every dose! 1 am "
"What's tlie matter wllli you, wom
iiii'.' W'lint's tin' in:ill<*r wllli you?"
.v«"11>fill 1 v responded I'ii, wllli a pretzel
look on his i>>illl<>il features. "Don't
you suppose thnt I know how to make
cough medicine? Iton't you suppose
I know the innredlents of a euro that
wouhl make a hospital look like the
first nli| to the Injun*!? Who over
heard of calling In a doctor to tinker
i cough when I was a lio.v? Who over
hoard of going to bed with ii cold and
having bouquets and scented notes of
sympathy sent you down on the farm?
No one, mndame! No one! You sim
ply stay In the house long enough to
take a little homemade syrup and then
no out and monkey in the snow to
keep down the fever! I have had
more cold spells than you could find
in a l'."ef Trust refrigerator, and all
that my good old mother ever did was
to saturate me with kerosene mid feed
me on molasses and vinegar, and——"
"1 can easily helleve it. you sweet
crook!" hroke in the taunting Mil, con
temptuously. "Vou are full of kero
sene yet, and——"
"Silence, woman! Silence, lovey
dovey!" thundered I'a, ragefully. glar
ing at Ills devoted Mary. "Vou have
said enough! Vou have sprinkled on
a little of the Smith extra! How dare
you throw the harpoon into the time
| honored methods of my good old
mother'.' Ilow dare yon pose us au
authority on theriipeutlcs? What
| right have you- "
"<ih. for heaven's sake, shut up, you
si|tiawkful i|itawk!" shonteil Ma, with
evident annoyance. "Vou are worse
j than a chirpful singing society! Why
! don't you forget your crouch nnil
I phone for the doctor! Why don't
"1 won't shut up, dear soul! I won't
shut up!" relumed I'a, explosively, as
I lie started for the kitchen, followed
Ihy Ma. "I refu-l* to lie muzzled! I
j refuse to permit the Smiths to run the
roost! I am the main guy of this
gang, and i am going in prove to you
| I lie efficacy of my good old mot Iter's
medicine. I am going to make you eat
crow! I iiiii going to stew up some of
i that syrup as a matter of vindication!
Where do you keep your pans': Norah,
| set me the molasses! Vou may also
trot out tlie vinegar! Now, then.
Smithy, take a look and get wise to
the ways of domestic remedies! Vou
will notice that its these ingredients
begin to sizzle I liegln to stir! Vou
| will Norah, bring tue a litink of lnit
j ter and a lump of lard! That's right.
; now, get a hustle on vou and fetch a
j dash of mustard. some ginger,
"Aren't you a smart old hero?" in-
I ierpose<l Ma. sarcastically, as she
i watched the mixful Henry. "Why
ing lone of the business world. The proceedings of the
bankruptcy court show strikingly tlint the great ma
jority of business failures are not tainted by dishonesty
We hear more about delinquencies of all sorts than
we did when the facilities for gathering news were
meager. And every* little village ami country cross
roads even has Its self-appointed oracle, who may not
know enough to earn a dollar and a half a day, but who
Imagines lie clearly understands the most Intricate mys
teries of great business enterprises Involving millions
of capital and employing tens of thousands of men, and
noisily preaches the doctrine that great success Is great
Hut the broader minded optimist sees that justice,
honor and honesty are the normal condition that they
rule as n matter of course In social and business rela
tions. Millions of Instances In which they are In evi
dence never appear under startling headlines of a news
paper. They are far too ordinary lo constitute "news."
An holiest man creates no sensation 11s he passes along
the street attending lo legitimate business, but the thief
In custody attracts a crowd, lies Moines News.
EVIL OF TOO MANY CHURCHES.
MKRHW lms too nitiny churches. Towns
which might ho well administered spiritual
ly hy one clergyman or two have six, eight
or ten. No one of the six or more congre
gations can pay for 11 good preacher. Few
of them can pay all the cost of any preach
er, however poor. Nor can any one of tliern
pay for all the time of their spiritual leader. So only
very young men are to he had, ami the demands upon
their Hme cover so wide a territory that preaching must
he almost t heir exclusive occupation and pastoral duties he
almost entirely disregarded, 'hie of the clergymen ob
serves tersely and Justly: "No business could Hour*"*!
by that method and few churches can." Washington
THE TELEPHONE IN THE COUNTR7.
S' important phase ol' tln» nirnl invasion o*
the telephone has been ils perceptible effect
mi tlie value of liuuls. it Is <>m record (hut
two or three yenrs utter the establishment
of lines through the eouiitry districts the
prices uf i.ilids to rise nipiiliy ; Imini
urnnt* come in with greater freeilom ; ham
lets develop into town; cross roads develop into hamlets
nnd in the moil lit i 1110 quotations for wild and Im
proved lands arc steadily advancing. The thing is, of
course, too new as yet to permit any hroadilist prophecy
In this direction, but thp healthful trend Is already ap
Is very diflicult to say what laws roprnl:it•»
>roposnls—why sonic Klrls attract atten
lon only, while others attract "attentions."
l'here are pretty and popular women to
tvlioin nobody proposes; there are plainer
ines with whom every second man tin N
Jilmself contcmplatint; marriage. Lady's
don't you put in a little shoe polish
and sand soap? Why don't you— —"
"Who is doing this, madaiue? Who
is doing this?" was the snarlful re
joinder of I'll. "Who Is conducting
this laboratory? Who Is so kindly ex
hausting his chemical knowledge to
cure your dear mother's cold when
she ought to be Oslerlzed? Why don't
you' take a sneak? Why don't you
vanish like other ghosts? Why don't
yon attend to your own business, and
be thankful that you have a guardian
angel named .limes to look after you?"
So saying I'a resumed work on his
syrup, and did not deign to notice the
bunch of flattering compliments that
Ma generously threw nt him.
The cough cure was finally cooked
to I'a'* satisfaction, and after it had
been properly cooled and bottled, the
amateur chemist seized a tablespoon
and smilingly turned to Ma.
"tali your mother. Mrs. Jones! Call
your mother!" he effusively cried. "Call
little l-'ido. Sis, Kdythe and everybody
else who has been contributing to the
barkful chorus! Hut llrxt I "'ill do
what no other doctor does! I will take
a dose of niy own medicine to show
you that I have faith in Its virtue!
Vim will till-. I've that I pour out a
tablespoonfu You will also observe
that 1 fearV ly put it In my mouth
and Wow! . 1 ily smoke! Help, Mary!
Help! Turk' ii the hose! C'rack up a
ton of ice! \ ell for the fire department!
Water! Water! More water! I am
burning to death! I have taken some
thing that tastes like, tabasco! 1 have
swallowed lava from Mount Vesuvius!
Kii ii for a doctor, dearest! Kun
"It's J list guod for you, you ofHeious
brute!" put in the unsympathetic Ma,
with a triumphant gleam In her wifely
eyes. I don't pity you one bit! You
haven't got any more than was com
ing to ,miii! I saw you dumping a
pound of cayenne pepper in that cough
cure instead of ginger, but 1 couldn't
interfere with the mixture that your
mother used to make!"
I'a Jones did not reply at the time,
lie was too busy sucking water out
of the reservoir regardless of mic
robes. Hut nt the end of two hours,
when be felt physically cooler and
| mentally hotter, the good old family
; battle began in earnest, and contin
ued untik long after a real doctor had
prescribed fur Mnther-iii-l.fiw Smith
! and 11 io other coughful cases.—Phil
We don't understand why the wom
an who lias so much trouble keeping
one servant, ever wants to lie rich
when she would have the trouble mul
tiplied by six or els'.it
ABERDEEN HERALD, THURSDAY, MARCH s, 190f.
» It Kaj turned 7601
miled of dejert
into ar\ ir\l&rd ae& nftVJ
In Southern California is a large
salt lake of such recent formation that
even til* l latest ami m«wt expensive
atlases fall to note Its existent, yet
It has a surface area of alniut T<h>
Miliar** miles. or more than Ave times
that of tin* city of Philadelphia.
Salton Sea. as this hotly of water Is
known. Is tin* result of an Irrigation
enterprise that went wrong because the
engineers had not calculated njion the
waywa'Mines* of the Colorado ltlver.
Th» village of Salton, which had a
popnla.'on of ahont lih». all of whom
were «tnployed l»y a salt company
whoso works were established there,
has been swept from the land and now
lies under twenty-four feet of water.
The Southern I'aeiflc Railroad has
been compelled to rebuild Phi miles
of itv line; two irrigation companies,
one A.iierican. the other Mexican have
seen a quarter of a million dollars'
worth of work disappear almost in th"
twinkling of mi eve. and It is within
the boends of possibility that the new
ly formed lake will demand
of the diplomatists of the I'ulted States
and Mcxico in disposing of the compli
cations which may arise.
which the diverted
waters of the Col
orado ltlver are
now 1111I di; at the
rate iif '.MMMI cubic
feet a second Is n
part <«f tin- Creat
ltasin, once a
niliihty si-ii mill
tributary to tin l
I'jh-i lii- through the
ami until recently
survived only In
tireat Salt I.ake In
I "tail. The pa rt ii-n la r depression now
boiln; tilled Is known as the Salton
Hasin, and lies ;it Its renter -*7 feet
lielow * In* sea level. It covers an ap
proximate area of i'.oimi square miles,
and Is partly in Itlverslde and partly
In San lllego Counties, California, with
the sontherly end extending a short
dlstan 'e into Mexico, south of Caloxlco,
an American town on the border.
The basin Is dellned by an old beach
that e:ni be traced all around the lake.
This beach Is lllled with small marine
FOUGHT HIS LAST FIGHT.
IVhi*e|pr, foldlrr and
s tat «'*nin n i 1* Ilend.
Another military hero, especially
dear to the southern heart, but deur,
too, to the heart of the nation at large,
passed away, In the tleath of (Jen.
Joseph Wheeler, at the home of his
ulster In Brooklyn. A few days before
(Jen. Wheeler was stricken with pneu
monia, and though ha battled bravely
for Ufa he was forced to yield to the
As s ildler and statesman Oeii. Wheel
er occupied a prominent place In pub
lic life. He fought In two wari. The
•word which he wielded I» behalf of
and fresh water shells, perfect !n form,
but which crumble under slight pres
sure The fact that this beach in many
places still retains its old form despite
the force of sandstorms and other ac
tion on the part of the elements is held
by son » as conclusive evidence that the
basin was a sea at no very distant
There are some who hold the opin
ion that, if the tlow of the Colorado is
not co:.trolled, it will, in time, again till
the entire basin to sea level.
1 hi? newest salt lake is now from
ten t< i eighteen miles wide, about forty
live miles long, twenty-three feet four
in dies in depth at the deepest Hound
ing, ard is rising steadily at the rate
of from one-half to three-quarters of an
inch daily under the combined Inflow
of the Colorado and <iila Hi vers.
The <»ila empties into the Colorado
aliout three miles above Yuma. Ari..
the hottest ami driest place on the
face of the earth, and front there the
combined flow formerly swept on
mijps to the (lulf of California.
To-day from a j»olnt twelve miles
south of Yuma and four miles below
the line in Mexico the river bed of the
Colorado is a dust-dry, sandy waste,
five feet higher than the present chan
nel. the river having changed its course
from due south to west-south-west.
Kven at low water the flow Is pouring
Into Silton Sea by two channels those
of the Alamo and New Rivers.
The map shows the source of the
water that is pouring Into Salton Sea.
ami which is now from ten to eighteen
miles wide and forty-live miles long.
At the upper heading. Just below Yuma,
but on the American side, an irrigation
company cut a canal, which was not
of sufficient capacity to supply the ir
rigable district. At. the lower head
a canal sixty feet wide and eight feet
deep was cut in the quick-sand bank
of the Colorado. This canal the river
quickly enlarged to W>o feet wide and
thirty feet deep, and below that point
the old channel of the river is dry, the
entire flow i>ouring through the intake.
To relieve the situation In the Irrigat
ed district and at Salton, the Quail
HOW J'llK COLORADO MSFT GI LF
River rut was made Into the 1110
I'adrones, In the hope ot' carrying the
tvnicr into Volcano Luke mid thence
I>y Hardy's Colorado to the guir. Just
north of the lake the water out a elinn
nel through to New River, mid thence
flowed northwest to Sal ton sink, which
is gradually rising under the flow from
two channels, the Alamo and New
Ihe "lost enuse" he offered to a re
united nation In our war with Spain,
and he eame out of that struggle a
popular Idol. In the Civil War lien.
Wheeler and his eavalry eonimnml
were the Inspiration of the southern
armies. No task was too difficult for
him to undertake, no danger too great
to Incur In four years he was three
(JKNKRAfj JOSKPH WIIKKI.F.It.
times wounded and had Ift horsijtt »l»ot
(ien Wheeler, who was a Bradita:*
of the I'nited States Military AendeTliy,
I'lilered tlie Confederate eervlr-e In 1801
viri w.ns made a oolonel of infantry.
At Shlloh he coram,mded a brigade «r>l
«>cn afterward wa» transferred to tl-j
cavalry service. In which he won M*
_-r >-ite-'t honors. Puring the Kentucky
i icipa'gn of lSii-J lie commanded (I*n
I!: - as cavalry and fought .it (invn
hivtv and Perryville. At Murfrees
'u ro mil ('hickamauga he led tli-*
cavalry. After the latter battle ha
crossed tln* Tennessee ltlver, attacked
(ien. Kosecrans' line of coninuinieations.
defeat< d tile opposing I'nion force, de
stroying I.L'iM) wagons. with tlie;r
stores, and Indicting on national prop
erty a loss of $:i,(MMi,iMU). At the sieg'i
of Knoxville lie took an active part
and covered the retreat of (ien. Itragiz
from Missionary IJldge and Lookout
Mountain. Ills soldierly qualities w»-.t
well displayed In Ills resistance to (ien.
Sherman's army In its march toward
At'anta, and In the desperate attempts
made to sever the Fnion line of com
munications. Whether in the rear or
In the front of Sherman's army he
fought with remarkable brlllfhiioy aSI
dash, always striking with lightning
like rapidity and vanishing when the
blow fell. Successively promoted to
brigad'er general, major general and
lieutenant general, he remained In the
cavalry until the end of the struggle.
After the war lio studied law, anil
111i<« profession, together with tin* occu
pation of ii cotton planter, he followed
until his advent Into national politics
In 18S0. In Isi is, after serving for H
years as a congressman from Alabama,
lie offered his sword to President Me-
Klnlev In the war with Spain. As a
major general of volunteers he became
one of the most talked of men In the
country and served with distinction
in Cuba and the Philippines. When
the Filipino Insurrection was suppr»->s
ed and the volunteers were disband'd
he was commissioned a brigadier gen
eral in the regular army. Wflh tjiat
rank lie retired in 11X10. (ien xv £eeler
was ii!) years old l ist September.
SHE'S 50; HE'S 29.
MlllloiiHlrt* Vfrke»' Widow Take* •
louiilC II iiMhiiml.
When Charles T. Yorkes, millionaire
street ralhvii.v promoter of Chicago an.l
London, died In a hotel In New York
he left to his widow, with whom iw
was not on the best of terms, .?7, : >0 , >,
1)00. Some surprise, therefore, was
eieateil a month inter li.v the announca
ment that Mrs. Yerkes and Wilson
Mi/tier were married. The news dlil
not leak out for a day or two, when
the marriage was announced by til'
bridegroom, lie was corroborated bj
the witnesses and by the minister w!i«
performed the ceremony at the magi
niflcent Yerkes mansion at 804 Fli'tt
avenue. Despite tills, and for srm«
reason known onlv to herself, the brtiU
MRS. YKRKKS-M IZNKR.
denied Hint she was married or in
tended to be. When confronted by t'm
reiterated statements of her hiialmud,
the witnesses nnil the minister, she per
sisted In her denial and said tin Idea
was ridiculous. Finally, when damn?
could no longer lie maintained. Mrs.
Minner acknowledged that she was
Mrs. Verkes, or rather, Mrs. Mlzner,
Is Ml years of age. Iler new husband
Is Mr. Mlzner Is a Bohemian !11
hnblt and taste. He and Mrs. Yerkes
have long lieen the closest friends and
the little suppers which they luitu
given at the Fifth avenue mansion have
been a delight to the favored few. It
!s said that she settled $1,000,000 on
the young man previous to the mar
Mlzner Is a dashing young man who
dresses well and puts on a lot of style.
He has an Income from some sonri'u
and has been In the Klondyke. Ills
friendship was so marked for Mrs.
Yerkes that their engagement was talk
ed of In some quarters almost before
Mr. Yerkes was burled. Mrs. Yerkes
was the second wife of the millionaire.
4|«ir«»r l-'l It pi no .Mother*.
A problem has iirison In the govern
ment of I lie I'lilllppine Islands which
Is somewhat perplex I tig to the Amerl
cini ollicinl* In charge there. It relate*
t<i tie- question of convincing the Fili
pino or Malay mother that her childretl,
up to a certain age, belong to her homo.
The Filipino child of the wild* Is
sea reply aide to toddle heforo It Is given
to understand that It* home Is wher
ever It may happen to he when night
fall mine*, lis parent* do not discard
It. hut they do make It plain that the
more It roams the better they will be
satlstled. Western civilization does not
regard this as right ; It holds that up to
a certain age the child should be nl
most wholly under the Influence of tho
parents and the school, and should
come Int.» Its majority having torn*
knowledge of the law and much of
its obligations to others.
Filipino parents of the Jungles have
resented this view to a considerable
extent, and hold that If they kept their
I children at home they would virtually
be making "prisoners" of them.
A girl does love to pick her way ovet
a muddy crossing In a way the Uiiaiu
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