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Semi-Weekly Aberdeen Herald. 'nolisaed ever? Monday nut Tiiurwiay "HI. J, CARNKY. K.illtor and Proprietor (ntered atthePont-i>rttee at Aberdeen, Wanh., «■ Kcnnd-cIMS ma I matter BUBBCKII'TION RATES. uT |2.00 •OUiJls 1.00 Jar. n i i rJvance 1.80 The Herald is the oldest paper on '>rays Harbor, and has a circu ition than any other paper in Chehahs .TOnnty. Advertising contracts are baaed upon this claim of circulation, %nd all money due on coutracts execu ted under this statement will be ior feited if the statement be not absolute ly trna. Oar old friend, I 'on Valeriana Awfedita Wrvler, is a.'nin minister of war in Spain, hoi he can't very well do anything to «'obe this tune.—Memphis Commercial Appeal. That's so. lie *hom wo called "Botcher" Wev li r, must smile grimly oareading what (ien. Wood is doing iti ita» Philippines. Mr. Bellamy Morei remain*, "I seem •oliave been elected a member of llie 'llinanias Club' like all others who have rome into dispute with President Roose relt." That's right: Kqiiul rimits to all, and no discrimination. Wm. <;. K.iek.''feller in discarding 4 iornefi for automobiles at his Greenwich, Conn., stable*. This doesn't necessarily mean tliat lie lias tired of his horses. He nakes lots of gasoline, but does 11 t raise much oats. Because liis latest play lias been placed ■inder the ban by the perfect of police, laxiin Gorky ii reported to have left Naples in disgust. Leaving places in seems to be Gerkv's long suit. A dispatch from Washington says there jo a shortage of ifs bills. Evidently a goo<l many people heeded the warning iu do their Christmas shopping early. facretary of the Treasury Shaw savs he notices a scarcity of small bills. Same 'wre. Plenty of large bills of course, but can't get change. Very provoking. A Texas justice o( the peace has de .that u sea turtle ia not an ani miil. Devotee" of the ureen turtle Roup habit agree that it's a bird. Q'leer how a people giving bo little ev i 'ence of being seriously religious can right bo seriously for religion. The war id France never ceases. There must be no trouble with Japan. The women of these United States for bid it. Those lovely Japanese silks ivoul i go up in pric" Since revision of creed is getting to be iiieli a fad among some of the churches, .r is almost us hard to he lost as it used to be to lie saved. Burglars entered the Standard 0:1 "Mice in Buffalo, the other day. The H iiimii! of then loss is not reported. The fools who butt in where angels N'ar to tread, aie not called fools if they „et away with the goods. Srn Sunken. Sea snakes are very plentiful In the south I'o -ifie. They are widely distrib uted, stray individuals having been se cured on the coast of New Zealand. When swimming close to the surface they exactly resemble an ordinary snake, except that the head is always lielow water. At night they come ashore and lie among the rocks. They feed on flsh and. although their small double fangs appear harmless, they are reported to be very venomous. Clenn Yon it» Men. There are plenty of bright young men In the country whose hands have not been soiled by the dirt of latter day politics. It will bo n good thing for the statu and fur the nation to have them come forward and take an active part In public affairs. It will be a good thing for any party that recog ulies thetn and gives them proper en couragement. —Knoxvlllo Journal and Tribune. Cud of (!ir Honeymoon. "Finished your honeymoon yet?" •*1 don't know. I have never been nblo to determine the exact meaning of tho wor i honeymoon." "Well, then, has your wife commenc ed to do the cooking yet?'—Houston Post. Polly often goes beyond her bounds, but Impudence knows none.—Ben Jon son. Lawyers of America Are i Not Doing Their Duty By Professor W. D. LEWIS. Dean of the Law School of the University of Pennsylvania j CHE two fatal words "uncertainty," "delay" are interwoven in all our methods of doing legal business. Tlio practical result of our antiquated systems in the complicated conditions ! of our social and business life would disgrace the early part ! of the nineteenth century, when practically all business was performed in a cumbersome way. But to a modern business man, accustomed to modern AND EFFICIENT methods of dispatching business, the delays and uncertainties of our administration of the law have become IA lOLERABLE, they at the same time affording a sure refuge to tho unscrupulous. In view of tho just reputation of our people for quick ness and efficiency, this grotesque condition of the administration of justice would be laughable IF IT WERE NOT SO SERIOUS. Tho absurdities of the administration of our criminal law have al lowed tho hysteria which exists in a more or less positive form in every community to find outward expression IN THE CRIME OF, TA NCIIING. The delays of tho civil law, tending to deprive the eco nomically weak of justice, have been a potent factor in creating that widespread disrespect for law and DISTRUST OF COURTS which renders it increasingly difficult for us to meet the new and complicated problems of our social life. Though tho answers to the tests of the way in which tho legal pro fession is performing its service to our communities are not all unfa vorable, taken as a whole tho word FAILURE predominates. DISGUISE IT AS WE MAY, THE LEGAL PROFESSION IS NOT ADMINISTERING JUSTICE WITH EFFICIENCY. Why American Nerves Are Becoming Weaker By Professor JOHN M. TYLER of Amherst Coltctfe eVERY year our climate has been drawing the strings on our nervous system tighter and tighter until now they are READY TO SNAP. Physical dogt 'iteration is noticeable j now in t!ie children of business and professional men. THE STRAIN OF MODERN LIFE, THE DESIRE FOR WEALTH, FOR COMFORT AND LUXURY, IS TERRIBLE. It falls on the nervous system, not on the muscles, for we are changing from a life in the open —a life of manual labor—to a life in the use of tho brain. This tendency is going to continue, AND WE CAN'T HELP IT. Americans a hundred years ago lived on pork and doughnuts to r> great extent. Before going to bed they were not satisfied unless the ate a large piece of mince pio. We say today what a barbarous bill of fare —we who can't stand anything stronger than ten and crackers. Children a century ago went to school on the average of twelve weeks a year. Sixteen weeks was an extra long term. Forty weeks were spent on the farm, in open life, studying nature, physical needs AND THE WORLD. THAT SURELY WAS THE GRANDEST SYSTEM WE HAVE YET HAD. Mcltliift Ktre Clay With Sun'a Hurt. There is nn apparatus which concen trates the rays of the sun from tuore than (5,000 small mirrors on a spot about seven laches iu diameter. The heat generated is about 7,000 de grees F. Iron can be melted In less than a minute and Are clay fused In about three minutes by tills machine. Magnesia, one of the hardest things to melt, requiting a heat of about t>,400 degrees F„ can bo reduced to a molten state In twenty minutes. For the ben efit of those who wish to forget the name of tills Instrument it Is called the pyrheliophor. Protective Colnm of Anlmala. I seem to trace a faint clew to the connection between the protective col oring and the mind in the Intense de sire of the fox to remain concealed and unseen. That this is u possible theory we Infer from the fact that a blind animal does not change color. l'ut a dozen minnows Into an ordinary white wash hand basin und they will in a very short time be of a pale color. If over one no change passes we may be tolerably certain that it is blind.— From Dale's "The Fox." GneNM Attain. "I have a pleasant surprise for you, Miss Sharply." "Can I guess what it Is, Mr. Bore some?" "You may try, Miss Sharply." "Let me see. I guess you are going to tell me that you Intended leaving the city." "Good night. Miss Sharply." "Good night, Mr. Boresoine."—Cleve land Plain Dealer. Monotonou*. "Wealth has Its disadvantages," said the philosopher. "Yes," answered the man with sport ing inclinations. "It must be very mo notonous for a man to be able to bet 53,000 or $10,000 on a liorso race with out caring whether he loses It or not." —Washington Star. Sounded Expensive. Dumley—How much will It cost to Bend a packing case from Philadelphia to Boston? Freight Agent—Six cents a foot. Dumley—My! llow many feet Is it from Philadelphia to Boston?— Philadelphia Press. An Aicendinx Scale. Curate's Little Girl—My lien has laid nn egg. Vicar's Little Girl—My hen has laid two. Bishop's Little Girl— That's nothing. My father has laid a foundation stone.—London Sketch. Whr She Left. Mistress—But, bless me, why are you leaving us, Mary? I'm sure I do aU the work. The General Servant—Yes, ma'am, but I don't like the way you do it-Sydney (N. S. W.) Bulletin. ABERDEEN HERALD. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27. 1006 That's It!!! ZZZ •% ZT Cough yonrielf into a fit of ppasmo and then wonder why you don't get well. If you will only try a bottle of Bollard's Horehouud Syrup your cough will be a thing of the pastlt is a positive cure for Coughs, Influenza, Btonuhitis, and all Pulmonaiy difeaces. One bottle will convince you—at your druggiet, 25c, 60c, $1.00 Sold by Shelley's drug store. t ARTISTIC PRINTING If you want printing' that will combine good points, ARTISTIC, STRIKING, VALUABLE, Let us figure on it for you. Our work 'has the extra touch that pays. It looks right to our customers and benefits the business Herald Printery 40S EAST WISHKAH ST. TEL 561. Tjheodor Eggers President of the American Fish Company, one of the leading men in the evergreen state of Washington and heavily interested in Alaska fisheries, is one oflithe thousands who consider it ajduty and a pleasure to talk plainly to his fellow-men. He saidlthe other day that he had for been sick from divers stomach troubles, but for two years he has been as strong as any man, and the only rea son came from the fact that since two years ago he and his entire family have used no other drink than "Golden Grain Granules." Coffee and tea are drugs. Turn a new leaf and drink this health drink three times a day and you will feel different. Your grocer may not have Golden Grain Granules in stock, but every job ber can supply him and he can accom modate any customer who wishes to use Golden Grain Granules. There is no substitute for this article, noth ing like it; no similar goods, and your grocer will get it for you even if he does not carry it in stock. Sold in all grocery stores at 25 cents for a big package.