ENGLISH RED TAPE.
War Office Methods and the Test of a
The story that a gun of marvelous
possibilities invented In England may
be sold abroad owing to tlie apathy of
the powers that be Is not altogether
Whitworth refused Napoleon lll.'s
offer of $.">O,OOO a year for life to go to
Paris and manufacture his cannon for
the French army, but perhaps our war
office was not so faddy then ns now.
Some little time ago a new gun for
hill lighting was offered and was sent
out to India to be tried. It was drag
ged up steep hills, rushed down rocky
dellles, left for a week at a time in
mountain torrents—in fact, submitted
to all the tests which a veteran officer
accustomed to war -with the hill tribes
The report was satisfactory in every
respect, but a war office genius bland
ly asked If the gun had been dropped
down a precipice. It had not.
The war office was horrified and
amazed at the neglect of so elementary
a test. The gun was now dropped down
a precipice with the inevitable result-
Its internals were Irremediably dam
How was It possible, the war office
asked, to accept such a weapon? And
the ariny of India was left to potter
along with obsolete weapons because
this sew arm would not stand lmpos-
AWAY BELOW ZERO.
THa Awful Cold That Coma* With
Eighty Degree* of Frost.
It is difficult to form any conception
of the decree of cold represented by 80
degrees of frost that at times prevails
In certain parts of Itussla. Sir Leopold
McCllntock tells us how In one of his
arctic expeditions a sailor was foolish
enough to do some outdoor work at
precisely this temperature. Ills hands
froze, and when he rushed into the
cabin and plunged one of them into n
bnsln of water so cold was the hand
that the water was instantly converted
Into a block of ice.
At 25 degrees. Dr. Kane says, "the
mustache and underlip form pendu
lous beads of dangling ice. Tut out
your tongue, and it instantly freezes to
this Icy crusting. Your chin has a
trick of freezing to your upper jaw by
the happy aid of your beard. My eyes
liave often been so glued as to show
that even a wink was unsafe."
During a theatrical performance giv
en by the crew of his ship at an Inside
temperature of 30 degrees "the con
densation was so excessive that we
could barely see the performers. Their
hands steamed. When an excited Thes
pian took oil his coat It smoked like a
dish of potatoes. Any extra vehemence
of delivery was accompanied by vol
umes of smoke."—Pearson's Weekly.
A Wrong Diagnosis.
The small boy with the big bundle
of papers was observed to be moisten
ing some of his stock In the street
"Ah, my lad," said a benevolent old
gentleman, "It does me good to see
such an Illustration of cleanliness."
"What do yer mean, boss?" asked
the boy as he stared up in wonder.
"Why, aren't you trying to wash
the mud spots off the edge of your
"No, boss; you are way off. You
see, some of dese papers is two weeks
old, an' if I dampen 'em up a bit peo
ple will think they are Just from de
press an' never think of lookin' at de
date. Good graft, old sport! Say,
some day when 1 am a captain of in
dustry I'll give you a job."
But the benevolent old gentleman
had fled.—Boston I'ost.
The Order of St. Patrick.
The "most illustrious Order of St.
Patrick" dates only from 17S;i, says a
London writer, when It was founded
by George 111., and Is not to be com
pared In age with "the most ancient
and most noble Order of the Thistle,"
which, dating from a remote antiquity,
was revived by James 11. in lUS7. The
curious thins about the bands, or rib
bons, of these two orders Is that St.
Patrick's Is blue of the hue that may
te soon In the "hackles," or plumes, in
the bearskins of the Irish guards,
though It suggests the blue bells of
Scotland, while the sash of the thistle
Is a dark green, suggestive of Erin's
verdant Isle. On state ceremonies
these two orders are frequently con
What She Was Trying to Accomplish.
The other morning at the breakfast
table throe-year-old Joannette was pok
ing vigorously with her knife at a bis
"What are you trying to do, Joan
nette ?" demanded mother. "I!e careful;
you will cut your hand."
Said Joannette, "I'm trying to un
loosen tills biscuit; it's so tight!"— New
Not a Matter of Choice.
Columbia Alumnus—That woman on
the debate team is Intolerable. You
wouldn't like to debate with a woman,
would you? Cornell Alumnus—Got so
I don't mind It now. Been married
five years.—New York Tribune.
"Docs your wife make you explain
all your acts?"
"Worse than that."
"Worse than that?"
"Far worse; she doesn't permit me to
explain them."—Houston I'ost
The Three Periode.
Jason—There are three periods In a
man's life when ho does not under
stand a woman. Grayson—And they
are? Jason—Before he know* her,
when he knows her and afterward)
A BILL IN CONGRESS.
The Method by Which a Measure la
Transformed Into Law.
On a day set for the consideration of
the bill the house goes Into committee
of the whole. A chairman appointed
by the speaker presides. The bill is
read by sections and clauses after gen
eral debate has closed, and any mem
ber may offer amendments. All voting
in committee is by rising. The yeas
and nays are not taken.
When the bill has been gone through
and all amendments have been voted
upon, the committee rises and the
chairman reports the bill back to the
house, with the amendments. The
house then votes upon them either sin
gly or In gross and by yeas and nays
If they are ordered to be taken.
The bill is then ordered to be en
grossed—tliat Is, written out In a fair
hand and just ns it is after being
amended—and to be read a third time.
As It Is usually already engrossed it is
at once read the third time—by title, as
The clerk takes the bill to the senate,
by which body It is referred to the
finance committee. In due time the
committee, if it sees fit, and not other
wise, reports the bill back to the sen
ate. with propositions to amend. In
the senate the bill is considered "as In
committee of the whole," the amend
ments of the finance committee and
other volunteer amendments are ac
cepted or rejected, they are again
voted upon when the bill is reported
to the senate from the committee of
the whole, and the bill is passed.
As the two houses are not agreed
upon the bill, a committee of confer
ence, usually consisting of three mem
bers of each branch of congress, is ap
pointed. The committee, when it has
come to an agreement, reports to each
house, and the acceptance of the re
port Is the final stage of the bill in its
The measure is now "enrolled"—that
is. It Is printed in large, open type
upon a parchment—and Is taken first to
the house, where It is signed by the
speaker; then to the senate, where the
vice president signs It, and finally to
the president, and ninkes the bill a
Congress is notilied tlmt the bill has
been approved, and the original copy
of the act is deposited in the depart
ment of state.—Edwin Tarrisse in Har
Johnnie—lsn't a tin horn made of tin,
mamma? Mamma — Certainly It Is.
Johnnie —Then how is it that a fog
horn Isn't made of fog?
"Your lankweedgo," remarked the
visiting foreigner, "it ees so strange."
"Why so, count?"
"When a man spend all hees money,
one man say hee's all in. Another man
when he has 110 money sny hee's all
out. I no understand."—Philadelphia
"Your fnther Is In politics," said the
stranger, "Is ho not?"
"Yeh," replied the boy, "but mom
thinks he's getting cured of it"
"How do you mean?"
"Why, his stummick has gone back
on him, and ho can't drink like ha
useter."—Catholic Standard and Times.
Two girls returning from Sunday
school were discussing their progress
In the Shorter Catechism.
"I am past original sin," said the
The other immediately responded,
"Oh, I am farther on than you, for
I'm past redemption!"
A peasant Insured his house against
fire. When he got the policy, he asked
"What should I get if my house were
burned down tomorrow?"
"Three or four years' Imprisonment,"
was the short and prompt answer.—
"But can we live on $1,000 a year?"
"Let's see," said she. "Theater tick
ets will cost about $200 annually, flow
ers as much more and bonbons, say,
$200, Certainly we can do it, John,
and save money Into the bargain."—
Kansas City Journal.
HIS FAVORITE WHEEL
—Georae in Bt. Paul Pioneer Praas.
r ~ THE QUADRANT.
I How the Idea of the Device Cam* to
Concerning Thomas Godfrey, n fa
j mous American niathematJclan, th»re
| Is an Interesting account In the "Lit
| erary History of Philadelphia."
Thomas Godfrey was a glazier. He
! seemed to be one of the most singular
phenomena that ever appeared In the
One day while at work at his trade
a young girl came to a pump and filled
a pall with water, which wus left upon
the sidewalk. The sun's rays were re
flected from Godfrey's glass to the pail
of water and then to Ills eye, thus com
pleting a triangle. This is said to have
suggested to the glazier's mind the Idea
which In 1730 became the basis for the
<loul>le reflecting sea quadrant.
Prior to this time English mariners
had been using Davis' bow to ascer
tain their latitude at sea. but it could
not be adjusted in a storm. Godfrey
gave the subject careful study, taught
himself Latin In order to read New
ton's "Prinelpia" and endeavored to
have the value of his invention recog
nized in England. While thus engaged
ho determined to have the device tested
on a ship bound for the AVest Indies.
In Jamaica the quadrant was exhibit
ed, or presented, to an English sea
captain. Thus the important discovery
came Into the possession of Iladley, a
mathematical Instrument maker in
London, whoso name It usually bears
In spite of the long exertions of influ-
I ential Americans of the eighteenth
century to lnive Godfrey's claims es
tablished and honored.
The Next Duty.
"What Is my next duty? What Is
the tliinv? that lies nearest to me?"
"That belongs to your everyday his
tory. No one can answer that ques
tion but yourself. Your next duty Is
Just to determine what your next duty
Is. Is there nothing you neglect? Ts
there nothing you know you ought not
to do? You would know your duty If
you thought In earnest about It and
were not ambitious of great things."
"Ah, then," responded she, "I sup
pose it Is something very common
place, which will make life more dreary
than ever. That cannot help me."
"It will If It bo as dreary as reading
the newspapers to an old deaf aunt. It
will soon lead you to something more.
Your duty will begin to comfort you at
once, but will at length open the un
known fountain of life In your heart."
A very pretty girl had n bashful art
ist for a sweetheart, but he would :s'>\
er come to the point. One night after
he had made a desperate attempt to
test her feelings she looked at him in
a very significant way.
"What do you mean by that?" he
asked, with a startled look.
"Do you profess to bo an artist?" she
"Do you think you are n good one?"
"I flatter myself that I am."
"Well, 1 don't think so."
"Because you cannot even draw an
lie did, though, and now they draw
It has been shown thnt criminal
tendencies depend on heredity and so
cial and physiological circumstances.
The uiost Important of these Is hered
ity. Just as no amount of ambition
will enable a man to write a Shake
spearean drama If he have not the
talent, so It is preposterous to expect
in a child of vicious parents, brought
up among vicious surroundings, that
moral tone which would characterize
the finest type of humankind.—Strand
"Just think, somebody broke Into my
studio last night. Unfortunately I had
Just begun n study in still life."
"Was It stolen?"
"No, but the models were—a ham. and
eotne sausages,"—London Tlt-Blts.
ABERDEEN HERALD. MONDAY. APRIL 5. 1908.
Victims of Heredity.
Jimmy Junior-Our university ha
just received a consignment of fossils
Freddy Fresh For the museum or the
faculty?— Phi hi di-lull la Record.
Church—Did that detective you en
gaged discover an;, tiling? Gotham
Yes. that I li-d money. — Yoi::;er
Leonardo da Vinci was passion?*
fond of oranges and with this f;-.i
and bread he would at any time ma!;
"Pa. what happens when railroa
cars are telescoped?
"I suppose the passengers see stars
Nell—Mrs. Ilenpeckke boasts that sh>
reigns supreme In her own home
Belle—Reigns? She positively storms
Snuff taking originated In England
from the capture of vast (juautitios ol
snuff by Sir (ieorge KooUe's expedi
tlon to Vlego In ITS I.
Him—My dear, this pumpkin pie is
not half done.
Her—Well, finish It then, darling.—
Los Angeles Times
Notice Is hereby given that the
; ,: lowlng list of saw logs are now ly-
my lands on what Is known as
f—. \ Aberdeen Gardens, In Chehalls
TMjunty, state of Washington, and all
persons owning any or all of said
saw logs are hereby notified to re
move the same, and pay the damages
within 30 days or the same will be
sold to pay said damages, said saw
logs are branded as follows, to-wit:
4 logs branded O. K.
1 log branded MB.
3 logs branded XT.
3 logs branded 22.
13 logs branded 35.
1 log branded SBW.
1 log branded TF.
3 logs branded Diamond B.
2 logs branded W.
1 log branded V with 7 dots.
W. F. LYONS.
Date of first Pub. March 19, 1908.
Date of last Pub. April 16, 1908.
Notice is hereby given that the fol
lowing list of saw logs are now lying
on rny lands, known as Lot 4, Section
11 north, rangs 9 west, and all per
sons owning any or all of said saw
logs are hereby notified to remove the
same, and pay the damages within 30
days or the same will be sold to pay'
said damages. Said saw logs are
branded as follows, to-wit:
10 logs branded U .
1 log branded O.
2 logs branded WHS.
10 logs branded 35.
4 logs branded V, with 7 dots.
G logs branded circle K.
1 log branded W.
1 logs branded 22.
7 logs branded O. K.
1 log branded circle T.
1 log branded 25.
3 logs branded M.
1 log branded 114.
1 log branded 21.
1 log branded Box B.
1 log branded T.
W. M. HULET. i
Date of first pub. March 19, 1908. i
Date of last pub. April 10, 1908.;
Notice is hereby given that the fol- j
lowing list ol' saw logs are now lying 1
011 my lands 011 what is known as j
lots 7, 12, 13 and 14, Aberdeen Oar
dens, situated 011 the Wishkah river,
Chehalis county, State of Washing
ton, and all persons owning any or
all of said logs are hereby notified to
remove same, and pay the damages
within 30 days, or same will be sold i
to pay said damages.
Said saw logs are branded as fol
3ft logs branded 35.
8 logs branded W.
7 logs branded, Hear Foot O. K.
17 logs branded U.
2 logs branded Diamond SBW V 2 •
2 logs branded Box B.
4 logs branded 1 E 1.
2 logs branded 22.
2 logs branded 15.
2 logs branded 2G.
4 logs branded Circle F.
3 logs branded Circle K.
8 logs branded A
2 logs branded N. O.
1 log branded O. X.
2 logs branded xxx 2
H. E. HULET,
First publication March 2fi, 190 S.
Last publication April 23, 190 S.
Notice Is hereby given that the fol
lowing list of saw logs are on my
lands, on what is known as lots 7, 8,
and 9, Aberdeen Gardens, situated on
tne Wishkah river, Chehalis county,
state of Washington, and all persons
owning any or all of said logs are
hereby notified to remove the same,
and pay all damages, or the same will
be sold to pay said damages.
Said saw logs are branded as fol
Five logs branded 35.
One log branded 25.
One log branded Horseshoe.
Two logs branded L, with bar
above and below.
One log, branded O. K.
One log branded J. B.
Date of first publication March 26,
Date of last publication April 23,
Novelty Repair Shop
Saws, Axes,"Knives and
Scissors Sharpened. Um
brellas Re-covered and
210 South II St. Tel. 11)91
City Library and Heading Room
CITY HALL, ABERDEEN
Opr> Ir<nn 2 to 5:30 and 7 to 9:30 p. u
Sundays 2tr>s:3() p m.
Visitors always welcome
MH W . J. M WALKER Librarian
(Qhen You Need a Specialist
Consult One of Wide
We are just now completing our
twentieth year as specialists in men's
diseases. During these years of
close application to a single class of
ailments we have originated and per
fected the only scientific and certain
methods by which these diseases are
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treatment, a cure is but a matter of
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We guarantee every man a life-long
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Our Mrv pnv Unless
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Our methods are up-to-date, and
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Hence our success in the treatment
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We cover the entire field of ner
vous. chronic, deep-seated and com
If you cannot call, write for
Symptom Blank. Many cases can
be cured at home. All correspon
dence confidential. Call or Address
SCOTT MEDICAL CO.
101) Marion St., Seattle,. Wash,
llSO'a Pacific Ave., Tacoma, Wash.
rM Hh MMHWWHII IIBI illl i 111 | Wimiii—BMM
Sf you want to
Advertise in newspapers
anywhere at anytime
call on or write
E. C. Date's Advertising Agencj
124 Sansome Street
pni 'wmiy-"' v.'wt—
A! iihliriakinir I'arlors
BOWES & RANDOLPH
406 E. Wishkah St.
PhnilPC Office CO2
r IIUIIcs Residence 424
■ all countries, or no fee. We obtain PATENTS H
■ THAT PAYj ailviriinothem thsixiugUlj", at cm I
B Send model, phutoor sketch for FREE report I
I PASSING REFERENCES! For I
I 503-505 Soventh Street, I
St. Louis Mil Sk Repair k
SHOES REPAIRED WHILE YOU WAIT
Half Soles and Heels, Sewed Work,
in from 6 to 10 minutes, for $1.00,
408 . East Wishkah St., Next Door to Herald Office
..ALL WORK GUARANTEED..
DAILY TIME CARD.
Steamer Harbor Belle.
In effect March 16, 190S:
Lv. Montesano for Westport 7 ®-
Lv. Aberdeen for Westport 9 a. m.
Lv. Hoquiam for Westport. 9:30 a. m.
Arrive at Westport 11:00 a. m.
Lv. Westport for Montesano 11:30 a. m.
Lv. Aberdeen for Montesano 2 P- »"•
Arrive at Montesano 4 p. in.
s, TIME CARD
12 Portland, Tacoma, Seattle
and all points ea»t 8:45 a.m.
28 " " " 4:3 r » p. m.
27 Moclips 2:60 p. id.
9 " 8:15 p. in.
128 Ococta 2:50 p. tn.
27 " " " 2:60 p. n.
9 Portland, Tacoma, Seattle
and all point* east 8:15 p. m
12 Kioin Moclips 8:45 a. in
127 From Ocoata 8:25 b.i«
28 Moclipo 4:35 p. iu
Dining cars on all trains
H. 15. ELDEK, Agent N. P. Uy.
A. D. CHAKLTON,
A. G. P. A., N. P. Ry. Co.,
Aberdeen State Bank
Cor. Heron and H Sts.
Safety Deposit Boxes for Rent
E. J. BRADLEY, C. W. MILLER,
Hayes & Hayes
Aberdeen, : : : Wash
Transact a general banking business.
Foreigu and domestic exchanges bought and
Taxes paid for non-residents.
Always ready to discount good local mill paper
OFFICE HOURS—Open at 9 o'clock, clovf -tt
3p. in. Saturday, close at 2 i>. m. Opening
one hour in the evening, from 7 to S.
J. M. LUPTON, Mgr.
Aberdeen Sleain Laundry is equipped
with latest improved laundry machinery
made, and does an good work as can tx
turned out anywhere.
Telentione'<74 Oor. II nnd HnmeS'o.
| Pioneer Barber Shop
: 21 Heron Street
Have You Houses
Want to realize more money on
them? Paint them with
It makes them Sell Quicker
and for Higher Prices.
Iflaehafferty & Sods
311 E. Wishkah St.
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