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Here Is a Hunch of "It Is to Laughlcts"--Such a Foolishness!
IFIBO. * Opt 800 RaiAtos. th» Mg (la ' a «i. tad •' M. Hell, the burned-out, aaa of O.uh >n-». «t# tn town last I Ttandaf.-Kair Point. Mis» . Co*-j ka«!*a. i Fir* iMiUri t» Urn Ow«1. AT THE HIGH SCHOOL ..Here than t*4 hlgk seitool sin* Mi left an the ttumir Reliant* ill* Katur-lay morning far I*oll ■aiHrm «e«re they will be glren a reral rtaanavk* by tke tn.lUn* of, Ike naiivaUaa- A drlrcat lon from tae anlverctty rh«i»r<m«4 by Prof - •tsar Rotter, aecompalaed Uaaaa. A. $100 Lots Tin* art tk* beat cka«9 lota la ti« thy Two blocks f&tt of «ad of Vert o*—a Ana* ear lla*. aad ■Mtaofßoam Easy tnnt. laqnlr* IffMf. IPM'VItDMNCt-RtllTl- Buy Yeur Clethin, st th« OLD RELIABLE SPOT KLINE * ROSENBERO. •33 >it Avtnu*. YOU NEVER SAW SUCH PHENOME NAL BARGAINS AS THESE AFTER 6 He parti ■ m Band Paper %: 01 Mll!»r Fall* D»at Quality *»""■ l(»r Hand Drill. J)f)<* Me (0-foot Good KetUMe Tape "> Deat 8tc«I Block I'Un.- ,"»O#» Wat 25t* 11 »1 0° Ko!4ln« Perfeetlon Haw *•• 4lnrh All Ht»»l Warranted 1 Clamp .|9<t ■"•••» Drlrcr 5,* ISc doMti Japaaaed "Coat and " W Carprntrra neat Steel I.x- I Hat Hooka. 2 dozen for., ,'>r r*(aa*lve Oils, large i!m.,75^ I. M O«st Quality Hand Saw, »'•*! Nlcbtl Hated Ratchet sway back with fancy handle .-?'«•- Ball n»arln« 75* 08^ *• Carp«nUr-s Rules, aborted, 10c Beat Btaal Cup Total Nail ,-?■■* if-; •• '•lOe* «* «<* ■• Genuine Ulooda Graia lloolu 20c pair Unary Ciirruv 13<* Strap HlngMi s<* SPELGEirr& HURLBUT %£?£' TO BE IURE ( l"lr»t Tramp: Its* <lo >-mi know I dat » .\m m ■*•■ hill ? IWruml Tramp; Wjr 4»jr chaiwd m« wld S uir SOU atk-fc*. liKUI-rS ONE BY TKI>I»T HiHMUB VBLT. j I'm king of tlu b»uli«-Bfr«i | I'm kin* of tk« Seh*atMnf«st. . i'l'm MMIIME 100 (ood fur U« fvUow* < teck b*r«. * I'm Uklos » trip to th* •<••!« )At »>tln« lam the bast: 1 Rot m«-tain all over ■; breast. I it* easy tO •*•■ < Why <h« p*opl« nil m#— The line of Ui« Ikl»»ut»Wf— A Itarton, tna h government aaaaa, h*» promised to snow them a:i i- int • of int»r««t. one b«lnc the Krare ef Chi<rf -i».»lih. Q. W. «. h..ti sail U!aa Ina M. lUAsa of the high acanat faculty have nliaia» •* ta« <nmmt • ( .n. which win rvtMii tllp. m. The ffrat prettmtruiry dectanrntloa ml debating ront*st wfll b* held during Ihe fir.i week of May tot Ikaaa who wiU eot«r the Interrbs* inalHl Tb« •intiwi win r«pr»e«nt fh» school la a contest to bo «><«■ by the university about June I. Jn«f ph Shlpcen will address »a -•-tnl.iy next Uomday morning on "Music la tka «■■ School." It* will also render sereral a^artlona on the flute. AT THE UNIVERSITY UjnVEROTTT BTATIOS. Apftl I. TtM> univ»f»Ky rowing crew, me- , rompanled by Coata Knight. Ml' •turOay morning for California, wture they will meet the crews of I th» two southern tnatltotbma. Tfea race with Stanford will «rur at Stockton. CaL, April 11 or I«. wbllo that with tk* Uarrerstty of Call. fornU will come off on the morning «f AprO li on the Oakland estuary. NOW WOULDN'T THIS O. A. R.i Tor A kltl to bis papa uIJ, "pleaa«," I If tb» moon's irally ma !•• of Rrrro (h««*», You «uri-!r can't mlan. \ If you g-iMM at the Svlm, 1* Pop tuuk ttai kid ovtr bis ks*ea. 8om« ujra that n<-«« ar» black. ! nut that* not right. I know, for likty had a llttl* lamb, < WhOM flrnr. »■• while a* mow. ; • "Ob. you had. men a Io»rl» w«d>) dins. CUr Uii', aUI a per fret ly lor*- 1 Ir *«J«lln«." ; "Win'l It loToty? Why, rrtm Biaaißia didn't t rjr ' ] "Who la that fellow down on tb« b«acbf Mt«) too nnti chl«f. That i ■ mt»»i<.tiarv who Jutt landed," r*pU»d bis fir»t ll«iti-n --ant. , » I "Ran down and *»•• If hr baa »ny talntrd mcm*r." I "And U he h«»r* 'l)rl»« him back to th« bo*i i "Vm. air. II! proe—4 at onoa." \ : "And. lieutenant."* . i "Ywi.ilr.- s "Tako tbe monoy away from him • "Whom da yoa inland to ran for major}** lh« ««d dUMi aaked. "(Ml. anybody," rrpllad Hie tarn "Anybody w* ran ran." Th» \ra«!,!R«tnn rr«w hsa Urn rt«. ti, 1.,« hard. hut la not n par f~»« •(m»». *'t lh« ■ h«!«r«« am t». farabte. for »imitti« at ImuH on* of la* m*»» TIM mvmttera of tb* err* are l*ul|. 11, stroke; TUton, No. 1. O. trim. N". I; »!1< uchriirr. bow. The Wnatiln«<"n trark team *• *ml*4 Hat T. M. >' A mm In th* Btdoor n-.»M »>l.l»y nMrM at tk* unl veraity by m score «f 14 to IT. Th« ■>«K. *lii. h was carrted eft quick ly, was a spirited on*, and ■■ the •rmMthjr of the audlMtcs) was j •io»lly iiivi,ji-a Mom th* two l»«r»* the Hralry •■■ Intense. Th» ralair rayt*. .IthtMjch Ik* rarstty w«.« It by a Up. was one of th* imM aMMtif errata. In th« wrrstUnc bout. Ui|» of tik* T. M C A. Infra!-1 Uad*ay, tkrowtns; him »nrm tn th* tan miiratm allawtnt. KvtUter awnnant cot a fall in the ; Vance end Tutr match. An !ni»r-«rmr.m.ir sckoot track MM win «<■« on the unlTirrsttjr , campas next Saturday forenoon, April 11 Th« Minor. I»a«fMlow. Colombia and Walla Walla schools will compete. A delegation from the • rtiMils Tistt*d toe onlrrrttty Kit *ay Attrrnoem nwlilai arritii«« MMa 10 «a« Ik* «r»>un!». anil have »n«aaai 1 Belter take charge of the meet. 11 •- - MAY BUY WHITE ELEPHANT Draplte th» »l:ii<»» nnlvertal opin ion of outsiders that >h« thre« • oui- I ination timbers and sprinklers, liniiicht for the alrt** il'iuirim'-tit OB trial. »i.- of little, value to iliu cltjr. lit appears 1Ik«ly that they will In bought by I ho board of works. The board ha* »tlll two weeks to try them. Tb.f» apparatus ha« pwisd tn Iw ■ lamentable failure on brick pavement, MM eoatly '" I" '»"" |■a well as Inefficient. Btrert Suprr- Inters ' Walters maintains, how i-rr-r, that i!.» wagon*, In *plta of ■ th« hlllr rotidit!f»n of the my. arc ! i.rtivtnit to Ij" nuit* efficacious every day. tha drivers "minx, with j practice, more nprrt 111 their op- I eratlon. I "I ran »»y freely," hr drrlarrd 'Saturday, "that MM wagons art ; making a better h..win« than when we flrrt tried them, but what our final <M<Tiiihiniiiiu In the mater will b# I do not yi know. YV«< mill hare two »'<kn to try them, and at the and of that time we will be able to figure abonlutrty tha cost of their operation. Ilirti«Jr«><t« of th« name I wagons are n- In . <-l*nrl ami nVtirra cities, but In thoso cities the THFC SEATTLE STA HIKDAV, At'HM. B, lgay NOT (.illl> (iffkcr: I nippoa* thnl you nr» •> •-•' of thoao rhnpa who thinks th» wnrli] owes lham a living. ' Trump: You do rrn" «» Injunllcn, (iffl.. r. I m-M-i- «»• 111 i..,im. » In ■I] lire, i According to press 11L1..11. ttM, we hrar, • That ih. we« C»arowltch baa » *cry Mfl <'«r, The il'i.t..r» «ir*« »fl»>r long «m --■nlllticf. That Ihi. war n»we has given i!,. | kid lnrtamation. Oh, ■I.Mr, wouldn't It makn you i Uush, To i;i»i» a woman half of your (Tub.! Tn cook the other half, | illy a Confirmed llarhrlor.) A l^niiliin ai'(r<>Ka played »(■» ka ini'ii-r an aaaumaxi naro# ami wntt' 1100,000. 11. i prrma agrnt, howev*r,! fit- II all a**?. •Not tba iiiiiiir)-. of coura* not! \ ■ »S )-> TillH I S IJI. ( A M WlTllill T NAI-I'lVi; T ITAT AWAKr. M»l>T- *N H't'R IN .1(1 *H! ' •ttrr.fi sxe. generall/ toore level, the rtmi of water Is • nar« Important lt«cn than it Is b«ra^ and tnrra la j awr» money to tp*r* for kMf>ing tha streets la ■!<■• condition. * "The wagons which wa ha»» bow. •vw. may poaalbly b* used wry ad- I raaiaoaiHMly on our aa|iailf4 atm-ta. To sweep aaphaltad atrwata, ! particularly in the. summer tl»«. (dors mat do mat b good. A flna dual ' remains, which is stirred op by «i«i .car*. vaait< !«a ana 'h« wind. Th* broatbtng of this dust Is il'-tri mental to health. If It ran !>• vub ■l off frequently with ta« wmdds. <-llmlna'liiK tba street sweeping «7>> tea. It will ba a good ibla« Pro greariva iiim are. trying In wash streets more aad more, instead of •waeptng «b«am. 1 ■ .' Top*!. —•waajfjar— C»rr— «■ Went >uu call mil *•• th»- Uteat «»>!'« »m! best 1100 tut valuta In •oottl'* K. S. Brooks * Co.. 1111 (M Aye. . ••• Excursion .. ... On Lake Washington j v Sunday, April 9th To likiw at acreage at the truth end of the laki> on the west »Mo. 81 Water-Front * Acreage ii At $100 to $200 Per Acre On Payments (Jrotinit nearly cleared. This will be right In th« city within a few years, Can you afford to miss It Steamer Acme leave* Madison Park at 10 a. m. and 11 m. Hound trip M casts. Pettlt & Son Arcade Blk., 1319 2d five. CAHII IH CI.IMIIINO. ;J Caih Cleave* liaa wv<-i».! hi* ron in-i iii hi with tlin i-ti-iiitiiTjr bi>r« end left for M,i.11 urn Muiulhv J.imi, where ln< hua ucipiid a v.i v ri.uii.i int: | |io«llluii aa a ronrbmnii — Kvuiih i Tills rorrfßiiondcnc*, Bdgcrion, ' Win , K. |m,i i, r , ! "Isn't It iiii.uu'." how n man Will ! $<• t<i ,i plum with hit iinitin-llii and i iilwiivii fnrgi-t to take It iway with ' hla?" i "Well, It may bo, I.ill lt'a alraneisr , | Imw a in.in will »•.•» t> a I'lnca wltb i mil an iiinl,ll II i uint l.ivir furicnt to tnkn BOmtbody*! else away wllli him." „ ; •■' • • i HEARD AT THE GYM. Th- M»dlrto« Baa Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Life of the City Council WOULD HOLD UP MOOBI AND OILMAN. WHILE THE. SEATTLE ■ LECTNIC COMPANY It ALLOWED TO BREAK ITS FRAN CMIM "Tljr. grantee*. Uieir successor* and assigns, shall keep on sal* for ft •*.!• ii their main ottltm and rOWRK STATIONS within th» rtty commutation tickets entitling th» purchaser to S3 rt«l»* Such tickets i «tialt not be traotf rrablft, nor entitle th« owner to a transfer, and tha i company may naka such reasonable reeulatloaa in rtgard to th« Issue •ml use of the tun- as to en fore* tfa«M pni\l*lmi»."-B<-»itli» Electric company's franchise. Tb« foregoing paragraph from the Seattle Klertrlc company's franchise k< Mof the many things which members of tin- council, and partic ularly Hude, Mullen. llMijamln and DOG FIGHTS ' BUZZ SAW _ . ■ COUNT CONSITINE'S PRIZE WINNER DEAD «*>■■ ii - I The vnlunble dog owned by Count Cbnsltlne, which wiia shipped from I.l\ rr I'ixil. I jiiriiiri'i, and but recent ly nrilvr.) In Brattle, *■«« Instantly ' Mile! lit. morning In a peculiar ! riotinor. It wirn the Intention of the owner. Count Consltlne. of !.<>n iinn. i:n«l.ni'l. tn exhibit this dog. Wliai i> by nnm*. at the Belittle Ken nel club ili'K show to t>n h*M at an ! early ilut" In this city. However, the plnns of the owner of this 11,009 prlxe winner wert donm^d to come to a sudlcn tennlnntlnn owing to the unhappy ending of till- vnlus bl« i-nilii"' 1* life. FVtr particulars see Moilpl KHectrlc Laundry nd nt top of pn«e eight. ••• Can't B. Beat. Sl\li- or .in ill'v of mir J.I nn uft ■ml attff hut*. E. N. Miooki * i'" . ill! M A»». ••• MAPR HIM E A farmer from IlunUnxton Iteach Met up with a rhorus Kitl peach, Hhi> cot all his duach. 'T««ji paloful—quite so— To hear hint for car-far* beseech. Hat Mimti rHt'D'n wlfa aai<l *b« i never ißgad to a club In h«r Ufa. ■ a>i<t tbat ab« would rather read than Pay eucbr* or brldx* whUt And •til Drat hra«« about Urn Intelli gence and culture at th« west. I PNDiylvanta I* talking of pl»r iiiK a Us of I cents a ton on all coal mini In that ctala. l»-nr oh. dear, the. ("Mir 1 1*1 m»n They'll bar* to ralM the prlr« at leut M crnts a lon neit winter. "Tour rahlldren are a bright lot of youngsters." "Well, naturally wa think so." "They'll make their mark " "Thai's what the landlord of a flat said, when I tried to rent It yesterday." ZM*d»n. who ara bandog ao loud and pitifully for a tunn»l ami rail road under la* Washington hotel, ham overlooked In their attempt to find objections to Moore's franchlM If they can possibly b« discovered. It in on* of in* pnlnti which Illus trates tht case with whlrh < •Main aoions ran pick inn flaws in the Moore-Cllmaa franchises wbll.- la* paaajllar nature of their optic nerves Drrvent* thorn from Ridnjt any faulta In any of tha etlstlng or pro po*«d franchise* of Jacob Furtb'e slunk and well fed corporation. Should Moore content to the un dermining of his hotel, and the of fi n linn li-KlKUtnni probably know »• well ■> anybody thai he wtl) not. It • ill be up to them to concoct Kirn* other echem* to which be 111 have ■a ■■!')<■< Perbapa they will next <I<mi«ii'! of him that h» construct a funnel under Quoen Anna hill. no that people ran I" 1 carried more quickly from this city to Orcen 1-ake and Mallard. It will b* noticed from the para graph quoted that th« Seattls mm tric company la compelled to keep tickets on sals at each of Its power stations, as wall as at Its main of fice, At tha present time the only place where they can be purchased Is at the company's oitlce on First avenue. The councltmra may not b- aware of this fact, because they rld» on passes, hut every other lo cal street car patron Is. Tickets can al»o be purchased nt dM Janiea street power house, lint this Is only because the pmprrttor of a fruit stand there buys the tick ets In l«ri;.> quantities mi that In oan •<•!! them for the accommoda tion of his patrons. The green-eyed colirn I* not responsible for It. The Front street office. Is not n|i>'ii after >"■ o'clock In the evening, and Itl Inc.'itliin Is so out of the, way that mrwt paopl*, particularly wo men, would rather pay cash than weml their wnary way there. - If Ihr i-«iiiip«ny romplli-'l with Its fraii«hlHi> it would also kiv-p the ticket* on sals at tin' Pine ntri;i t mooting the Shoots This town," said the stranger, "•ill t- all right when it girts a I power bouse. Post street power | booM, Jpuiim street power ho us*. ! M»dlMm street power house, la*<Ul park power housa, Interarbaa office a' Occidental and Ye»|pr, the stock of whlrh company It controls; Maa sachusetu »u«-i sub-station and Fremont sub ctxtlon. Thai »uulil help some. Hut the Muor*-(illin*n franchise provides that all conductors must carry the ticket* (or sal* on the car*. Tn# Seattle Kl*<-trlc company could i,.. forced to Co 'he name had the council the backbone to with hold present fran< blur* which the ! company asks. It could also be i forced to Issue transfers on ticket*. ***** * * **** ****** * • WANTED TO INSERT HIS • * DEATH NOTICE IN PAPER. • * PORTLAND, Ore.. April *.— * * Pr Neal it l>>Hry. of Woodlatrn. ♦ * created a sensation In a local * * newspaper offica yesterday by * * trying to Insert it notice of hl» * * death. When questioned b* * * stated that It was his lnt»a- * * tlon to commit eulclde. and * * he wished to notify bis many * * riiends of hi* dissolution. He * * stated that he had the money * * to pay for the ml for one In- * * tertian, and could not see why * * It should be refused. * * The police were Immediate- ♦ #ly nodded and Dr. O'l«eary * * was sent to his home In the * * custody of an officer. Th* po- * * lice believe that be Is silently * * deranged. * ...... . . . . 4 « . . . . . MINNESOTA IS LAUNCHED NEWPORT NEWS, Va.. April % —Tli- battleship Minnesota m surrranfully Inunrhed In the y»rJ« of the Newport Shipbuilding A Dry toot company this momtna;, EPILEPSY CAN BE CURED Notwithstanding epilepsy Is omi sldprcd by most physicians an In* curable, lir. Miles' Restorative Ner vine tins cured hundreds of slmo»t lini»-l'-»» rases. 1-ot us sand you testimonials from thniM who have bi»*n < iitil. and they will tell you nil about It. DR. mii MKDICAt, CO.. Blkhart tod. 5 first class street car system. It take* all day to so from on* end of the town to the other. Why doess't somebody butld a good line?" "I guess yon haven't b«ea riding tniu-h on our cars," replied the old citizen. "We think *» have a first class ••rapid thar.Kit system now." "You mint lure been out prettj late last nlsht." "Whyr "Because your rolce la erackrd.** ' Humph. That* iuh I'm broke." "That was a great reception Mr». U<titiln«ti)D save to Mrs. Upp«rt*n Tu«adar nl«ht " "Ye*, but It wasn't a marker to •b«» one aha save to her husband last night." What do you think of tax old masters T' "Ob, I don't know much about teen, nothing, In fact, except front what I picked up In tot-ing 'Uncle. Tula's Cabin' one*.' " AWFUL j | SCENE OF DESTRUCTION BY - EARTHQUAKE A HORRIBLE SPECTACLE—THOUSANDS OP DEAD LAHORE. April B.—The flrit part of tl>« r*linf expedition sent to tb« dUtrlrt wbera th« greatest fca»oc was wrought by lb* recant «ank quak* has reached Dhartitsmla and reports that It found an awful sreo* of destruction. It la not belie/red toy persons burled In the ruins are now alive. Six hundred soldiers and two , companies of engineers were order ed to Dharmsala to exhume th« ilrail. It is now believed the hor j rum at Dhannsata hare beea re peated at Kancr*. Ayers Sarsaparllla. Mends shattered nerves. Gives a healthy red to pale cheeks. Puts good flesh on thin chil dren. Takes off pimples, rashes. Ask your doctor to tell you about It. f<£J}T£«- Man -Tailored f\f\ Skirls vPJ.UU !207 2d * k&cH Avenue &)S^hu Jan* Moan*' Hand Mad* $2.50 Shoo tor mala *>t The Hub V£± F'^^^^r 104 FIRST AYE. SOUTH. Phones—Sunset. Pink 1151. In dependent, 1751. Free Delivery.