The Seattle star. [volume], August 13, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

About The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947

Image provided by: Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

                
TWO QUESTIONS
l ook at the first picture—th.it of a young man
just taking .1 highball from the saloon's bar. Stand
ing around him (not in the picture; but they are
there just the same) are the other "good spenders."
I hey say this young man is a "good spender"
because he "sets 'em up" when his turn comes
r
1
I
'round, and often he chirps, "Whatll you have,
boys'" a little ahead of his turn. That's why he
is called a good spender—he doesn't seem to care
how rapidly the bartender in his money.
Maybe his wife or his mother is at home waiting
and watching for this boy, but he doesn't think
about them, so intent is he on establishing a "got*!
spender's" record in the saloon keeper's eyes and
Outbursts of Everett True
A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING
THE REPLY
A wall-known actor, while
traveling In Soutn America on
pleaaure, waa surprised to re-
ceive the following cablegram,
collect, from hla joke-loving
friend* In New York:
"I'm quite well and In good
apirlta. Kindest regard*. Your
friend
The actor, to retaliate, ae
cured a hundred pound rock,
had It carefully wrapped and
expressed It to New York with
thla note: "Upon receiving the
note that you were alive and
well, the accompanying load
rolled off my mind!"
• • •
KNEW HIS RIGHTS
A British sergeant diacovered n
recruit comfortably situated in a
ho> In the ground during a lull In
battle,
"Oet out of that!" commanded the
sergeant. "Get out of that Imme
diately;"
"You may be me superior officer,"
defiantly replied Pat, "hut all the
•»me Ofm the one who found thin
hole first!"
TRUE FISH YARN
She bought a fifty-dollar hat;
The price had little weight.
EMMA GOLDMAN
Th# 1 .iniirrlilut, l#f>tur<>« nt
I. M W. Ilfkll. JOH Hn'iind Av#, H.
AKHJIT 15 3*
Miiri'tuv:
«1 p. m.. "W#r and Pr»»p<trtf."
• f». w, "fMII/ fttiminy."
SPINNING'S QUITTING SALE
IS ON IN FULL BLAST
All Kind* of flafetr lIKMOr Rladra Khnr|><-ar>l, 1R«! not.
_ 1415 FOURTH AVENUE
Mi-mlw mt th« ftrrtpp* Mtrlhwml I «*§«*•
•f
r*ih|.»h#4 I**ll* h* THO In
\uin MOO
• • •
EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE SEATTLE STAR
He waa a million dollar flah,
And aha uaed the hat for bait!
—Judge.
• • •
AN OFF YEAR
(From the Aberdeen, H. I)„ New si
SUMMIT, Aug. 3.—Sportamen In
thla part of South Dakota are acarce
thla year, due, it ia believed, to the
cold, damp weather during the
hatching season.
• e e
Ml*a Holda Luster la employed
by the Illinois Electric company at
Chicago and "A. King's entire
stock"-1* advertised for sal* In that
city.
» • •
WITH THE "HAMS"
Traced in ii (to manager! We
play Hamlet tonight, do we not,
air?
Manager—Yes
Tragedian—Will you loan me
a quarter for a shave, then, sir?
Manager —Uh, well, then, we ll
make It Macbeth you wear a
beard in that, don't, you?
• • »
AT THE FOUNTAIN
Patron —Your cream la very good.
Clerk— It ought to be; I ju*t
whipped It! Judge.
• ♦ •
AN ELOPEMENT?
The aid of the police wa* sought
In finding two lost dogs. C. Prltz I*
looking for a female dog with a
white spot on the tip of her tall.
The dog answer* the name
"Queenle." She has a plain strap
collar. Henry Orattenhalefs yel
: low bulldog has disappeared. The
jdog wore a collar with a beer chip
attachment.
iji the eves of the other foolish youths.
So it happens that while this young man is
getting a "good spender's" record he is also getting
an unconquerable habit.
Now, we come to the next picture:
I here, you see. is the remains of what once
was, without a doubt, a bright, healthy, sober young
man who "gained" a "good spender's" reputation*
Everybody, even including this poor, broken
down old man, knows tlut he was NOT a GOOD
spender. He now knows that when he was a so
called "good spender" he was really a FOOLISH
spender.
Now he understands that good spending means
.spending money for things th.it will do good either
to one's selt or to others. His spending harmed
him, harmed his family, and harmed the very men
he "bought tor."
HE COULDN'T DO WORSE
UNCI I: SAM might not make good as a railroad
operator but one sure thing is that he couldn't
do much worse than some ot the eminent indi
vidual experts who have been trying their hands at
the game.
On top of the collapse of the Frisco comes the
receivership of the Rock Island—because it can't
meet a due bill of $38,348. Rock Island stock
sold a while back at J.St per share. It is quoted
now at Jess than St.
As a hypothetical corporation, it is difficult to
conceive of United States Postal stock selling at
any such figure, isn't it?
BUT HOW i« the «iulptor to carve one >.f these
heroes in the act of squirting chlorine na« at the enemy?
A Married Man's Troubles
PURSUED BY THE JINX!-(OR, DON'T SCRAP WITH THE CALENDAR!)—A COMEDY MOVIE.
WOODROW WILSON'S PROBLEM
IS TO MAKE POSSIBLE SANE
FINANCING OF WAR LABORS
By Herbert Quick
In tnatlera of warfare, there I*
no time to wait for time to tell.
Brains muit tell before time ha*
a chance even to make a *uess.
Thirty-two thousand Invention*
for iim in war are »ald to have
been offered to the British govern
ment alnce the war began; and
there la no reason to doubt that a*
many have been exhibited to the
governments of the other great na
tlona Involved In It
A device for completely Immun
Ing war*hlp* to the dancer* of
torpedoe* I* being given rigid teat*
In England.
Arthur Lynch, In a speech In
the bona* of common* yesterrlav
••id that an exploalve bomb of
greater power than anything pvcr
known la being Investigated by the
French war offire.
The greatest ta*k devolving on
the war offices, In many respects,
la the taak of sifting the wheat
from the chaff In Inventions and
discoveries It requires just the
aort of brain* which warrior* do
not usually poss< s,« «
It raiiat be very pleaaing to
Secretary Daniel* that hia civilian
THE BRAVEST MAN
He It the braveet man I know.
Why 7
He'a trying out hit new saddle
horse on Friday the 13thI
• • •
NOT NOW
John, do your clerks watch the
clock 7
No—not since I hired that pretty
stenographer!
I
* STAR—FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 1913. PAGE 4.
board on Invention and develop
ment has been copied by tha nrlt-
Ish government. Nothing yet done
by him baa won such general ap
proval.
War is mora of a contest of
brains than of brawn or courage.
If surh a board had been able be
forehand to tell that the sub
marine wa* a success, that the ma
chine gun would win over the rifle,
or that high explosive shells fired
from 17-tncti guns would pnlverlxe
fortifications, how many hundred*
of thousands of men would such
prevision have been worth?
It Is a sad thing to think of, this
thing of mobilizing tha beat brain*
of the world In the services of war;
but there Is no way out
Peace may be the only practical
thing, but the world la In an un
practical frame of mind.
What Is right Is no longer
thought of.
What Is expedient and profitable
for purse, body and soul Is
laughed at.
We are sure to play the war
game with the rest of them not In
actual fighting, let us hope, but
HEARD AT TH* KIRMESS
"Why <1oe» that y<"m« Rlrl clone
her ny«H when the »lng»?"
"Hhe h«n auch 11 trader heart »he
doenn't wnnt to iee ua auffer."
STILL IT DID THE LADY GOOD
AI'AH'I'Y of tourists passing thru the Osage In
dian reservation in Oklahoma, last week, spied
a group of squaws and papooses at a way station.
Squalid and dirty, robed in faded blankets and
cast-off clothing, they presented a pathetic ap
pearance.
One lady remarked: "The poor things; they
look half starved. I thought the government t«>ok
care of these unhappy creatures."
Wherewith she tossed them a handful of small
coin, for which the kids scrambled, while the
squaws looked on and grinned.
That lady went upon her way with the com
fortable feeling that she had, at least, fed a hungry
mouth or two.
We hope she doesn't see this; we hate to burst
a rainbow-hued bubble.
But those selfsame Indians enjoy an annual
income of $2,Son for every man, woman and child
in the tribe, from leases on their oil lands.
I o! the poor savages, indeed!
HE'S A VILLAIN, ANYHOW
A SUBSCRIBER writes the* Bingtown Bugle:
"We are derned peaceable folks and we
ain't lookin' fer no scran, but every man jack in
Bingtown is ready in enlist, bein* as our own coun
try is invaded. Si Watkins' paper sez the cities in
the Hast are suffering terrible from an attack <,f
General Humidity. Who is the cuss, anyhow?
German, or one of them onery Russians?"
A GIRL wjl be bored to death by the love.%cene«
in a novel and gu into raptures over the Mime line of stuff
in a love letter.
in preparation* for war—or against
| war. aa certain i*op|e seem to find
a silly pleasure In saying It.
Therefore, let ua play It bettor
than anyone else. If we can.
We have played It rather worse
than anyone else
We have »ii#nt morn money on a
poor navy than Germany ha* spent
Fisher's Blend Hour
Awarded Gold Medal
f FISHER'S BlENßFLOUß.manufactui
edbythe Fisher Flouring Mills-
Co. has been awarded a 9'old medal
by the jnrv of Awards- of the Panama
V acific International Exposition.
on a good one
We have spent more on a ridicu
lously small army than Japan has
spent on • great and efficient one
Wo have made a bluff at prepared
neee-a bluff In which we have used
small financial sense, and not much
In the war of inventive and aclen
_t ifle brains.
HE'LL STUDY IT
Al l. indications are that President Wilson has
been stirred to action toward adequate national
defense; but the extremists, who are prone to think
the administration has been stampeded, and is run
ning headlong into the billion dollar proposition
are doomed to disappointment.
Being persuaded of the necessity, as well as
the popular demand, for a greater navy, the presi
dent sets right out to get one, but in a strictly
business-like way.
The best advice, both inside and outside the
naval department, is being sought; a sane and
sensible program is being arranged.
The president, finding (tut the country's needs,
will satisfy them to the best of his ability, but he
is not going to go to the jtunping-off place in
doing so.
What the country really needs and what
hungry naval contractors say it needs, are tar dif
ferent things. Wilson o attempting to exactly
gauge that difference, before he gets real busy.
JOE BAILEY li;in wired Houston friends that he i$
going to Texas for a protracted stay and Hon. Charles
A. Culberson has locked the I'nited Statrs "natorshin
in a burglar-proof vault, while Oscar Branch Colquitt
stands guard on the out-ide. Suspicious folks, those
Texan*!
OUK PROHIBITION district resident* understand
\*hy an illicit sal<»on is railed a blind pip; it is because it
i- made po*Mble by an office-holding hog who agrees not
to see
JOHN WANAMAKER might put over his plan if
Belgium would agree to raise twice as much as Andy
( aruegie will give and rename it "Belgium, founded by
John I). Rockefeller."
The necessity for a greater army
i and a great navy is one which I, for
MM, deplore; but a bad navy which
coal* more than the turn paid for
jgood navies by other governments,
and a little army which ta more
expensive than the great armlet of
I other nation*—the«« things are in
i tolerable.
Iljr mall. <«• r*mr, %f. f
*»*>»< lie, tl IH) . up %
Mifiihi lif tmrrhw, a m"nlh.
F,nlarMf at all la,
•r<w,nd rlfui*
By Allma
BY BLOSSER.
*
The Wilson administration tacei
a greater problem than an ahead
of-the-timea army and nary.
It roaat solve tne problem et
honest and sane financing of tbtn
thing* as well.
Of the two problems, the lattar k
Ithe more Important, though th*l»
mor is more spectacular.