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LAY HELPLESS A1ID SPEECHLESS ,FOE HOUES AT A TIME. Sinking Spells, Headaches, Rheumatism^ All Caused by Poor Blood—Cared by »r. Williams* lMuk Pills. When Mrs. Williams was asked for some details of the fearful illness from which she had so long suffered, she spoke as follows: Ever since I had nervous prostration, about thirteen years ago, I have had periodical spells of complete1exhaustion. Any excitement or unusnal activity would throw ine into a state of lifeless uess. At the beginning my strength would come back iii a moderate time, but the period of weakness kept length ening until at last I would lie helpless as ninny as three hours at a stretch." You were under medical treatment, of course?' Yes, when I became so bad that 1 had to give up my housework, in May of 1903, I was being treated for kidney trouble, and later the doctor thought my difficulties came from change of life. I was not only weak, but I hud dizzy feelings, palpitation of the heart, misery uf -„-r eating, hot flashes, nervous liead achos, rheumatic pains in the back and hips. The doctor did me so little good that I gave up his treatment, and really feared that my case was incurable." What saved you from yrur s.tate of hopelessness? "In July of 1903 I had'a very bad spell, and my husband came in one day with a,little book which told of remark able cures effected by a remedy for the blooctaud the nerves, Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. He bought a box for me, and that was the beginning of my return to health. My appetite grew keen, my food uo longer distressed mo, my nerves were quieted, and my strength began to re vive.". "How long did you take this remedy?' For two mouths only. At the end .of that time I had regained my health aud cheerfulness, and my friends say that I am looking better thau I have done for the past fifteen years." Mrs. Lizzie Williams is now living at No. 416 Cedar street. Qnincy, Illinois. The pills which she praises so highly, cure all diseases that come from im poverished blood. If your system is all run down, Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are the very best remedy to take. Any drug gist can supply them. The Poet Fled. The etlierial being with the unshorn locks was shown into the editorial sanctum. "I have written a poem on the dog," he said. "Whose dog?" demanded the editor, fiercely. "It is not any particular dog," fal tered the poet. "Do you mean to say you took ad vantage of the dog because it was not particular and wrote your poem on it?" "I'm afraid you do not understand me. I wrote the poem regarding the dog—" "But why were you regarding the dog at all? What had it done that you shpuld regard it?" "If you will allow me to explain, I had been inspired by the dog's fidel ity—" "If the dog was faithful, why should you seek to hurt its feelings by writ ing a poem on it? And ho wdid you manage to writq a poem on it at any rate? Did you have the poor brute shaved and tattoo the verses on its back, or did you brand them on? Per haps you—" But the poet had disappeared like the mists-of the morning. HIS EXPERIENCE TEACHES THEM. That Dodd's Kidney Pills Will Cure Bright's Disease. Remarkable case of George J. Barber.—Quick recov ery after years of suffering. Estherville, Iowa, Jan. 23d.—(Spe cial)—The experience of Mr. George J. Barber, a well known citizen of this place, justifies his friends in making the announcement to the world "Bright's Disease can be cured." Mr. Barber had kidney trouble and it de veloped into Bright's Disease. He treated it with Dodd's Kidney Pills and to-day he is a well man. In an interview he says: "I can't say too much for Dodd'fc Kidney Pills. I had Kidney Disease for fifteen years and though I doctor ed for it with the best doctors here and in Chicago, it developed into Bright's Disease. Then I started to use Dodd's Kidney Pills and two boxes cured me completely. I think Dodd's Kidney Pills are the best in the world." A remedy that will cure Bright's Disease will cure any other form of Kidney Disease. Dodd's Kidney Pills never fail to cure Bright's Disease. This world would be far more dis mal than it is if the public found out about it every time anybody made a fool of himself. PATENTS. List of Patents Issued Last Week to Northwestern Inventors. Reported by Lothrop & Johnson patent lawyers, 911-912 Pioneer Press building, St. Paul, Minn.: Syver Loe, Minneapolis, Minn., sack closing grap pie Peter McGrath, Hibbing, Minn., siphon Neis Peterson, Meckling, S. D., gate latch: Reimer- Sobgrg, Churcbs Ferry, N. D., binder re§J Norman Travios, St. Thomas, N. D., gas en gine George Troost, Minneapolis, Minn., muffler William Williams, Welcome, Minn., roadgrader. A GCAEANTEBII CUKE FOE PILES. Hulling. Hiluil, Weeding or Protruding Pile*. Your drusKlot will refund minify if PAZO OINTMENT tills to cure yuu lu 6 to 14 days. 50c. Tl:e jewel of consistency is often of consiMWcy pf paste. The crowd that jostled and pushed her hithpr and yon was' a good natured crowd, elated and ehee-ed by some Divine tlio tight of the approach ing New Year. Inhaling some of its spirit, the wom an Quickened her steps, and stopped pantin&ly at last in front of a decid edly squalid-looking- house in a pover ty-stricken quarter of the city. "I'll get the things first," she smiled faintly, and when she ascended the stairs a littlo later her arms were filled with sundry mysterious pack ages, topped by cue great paper par cel, from which protruded frivolously some toothsome chocolate eclairs and other dainties, Interspersed here and there by New Year's candies of vari colored hues. "Was she much trouble, Mrs. Mulli gan?" she asked, as in response to her knock a door to the left of the dark hall was thrown open, and a frowsy, betousled head thrust forth. "An' is that you, Mrs. Relevan? Shurc I'm glad you kem home. No, ma'am she wasn't the- shloightest thrubble—not the shloightest." "Mamma," called a sweet, childish voice, as a little white-robed tigure bounded forward. "Oohr what lots o' nice things you got. Can we have a party, to-morrow, mamma, an' can I stay up to-night to hear the chimes ring?" "B'irst. supper, darling, and then— I'll see." She set a dainty table—such a ta ble as seemed-unfamiliar, so long had it been since she had seen one like it—and when it vrtis all complete, she called Mrs. Mulligan. "A faste. a faste." As Mrs. Mulli gan stood in the doorway wiping her glistening red arms on her apron, she looked a picture of good nature, good cheer. Many a time had she given of her own limited store, rejecting vehemently Mrs. Relevant objections. "Shure you'd do the same :'f you had it, darlint. Toosh—don't be foolish." She was the life of the little party "What the future will bring—I dare not think." to-night, and little Margaret, climbing into her lap. threw her diminutive arms around her neck, and rested her fair small head lovingly against her ample shoulder. "I'm going to stay up to hear the chimes ring," she mur mured sleepily, but eve.n while she spoke the last remnant of candy dropepd from her small, clenched fist, and she fell fast asleep. "An' that divil," muttered Mrs. Mul ligan as her mother softly tucked the coverlet around the small, childish form, "could lave a choihl like that. Be gorra, the min have no hearts— no hearts!" Lullaby Now the evening shadows fall On the mossy garden will), And the birdies, soft' and wee. Sleep within tlio cherry tree. But the bee is busy yet Where the leaves are dewy wet In the honeysuckle vine. Baby darling, baby mine. And the Wesf is full of dreams. Rosy glows and golden beams, Made for slumbers, calm and deep. By the lovely Lady Sleep. With the woolly lamb to hold. And the bedtime story tcld, Sleep, for rosy dreams are near, Waiting for my baby dear. —Brooklyn Eagle. (Copyright. 1904. by The man behind the little half-moon window in the "Impecunious Loan Of fice" ylanced at the pathetically old fashioned peculiarly carved brooch lie held in his hand, and with a swift but fleeting Icok into the sweet face framed in the wiudow, dropped liis eyes suddenly, and exclaimed in a busiuess like tone. "three dollars." "Very well." The words were so quietly spoken, so low, the man scarcely heard. "Three dollars." he repeated again in a slightly raised voice, and was rewarded by a nod in the affirmative, as he again absorbed in that fleeting glanco the beauty and sadness of the young face before him. "It is the very last thing I had to pawn," the woman inurjr.ured as she sped swiftly l.cineward through the snowy streets. "What the future will bring—I dare net think." T5a"y Story Pub. Co.) The two women sat late into the night. They had been drawn one to another by a common bond, the bond of woman's suffering. Their rooms adjoined one another, and as they toiled day after day, one at the wash tub, the other at the machine, work ing for the bare privilege of exist ence, they encouraged one another with cheering words, each essaying to lighten the other's ourden. "A Happy New Year," whispered Mrs. Relevan softly, as the last tune ful chime rang out that night. "A Happy New Year." "The same to you, darlint, an' man ny more o' thim." Mrs. Mulligan's door closed softly. There was dark ness and quiet in the stretch of gloom between them. His arms were outstretched. "I'd like to pay the interest on the brcoch. cannot take it out just now." The sweet voice stirred him strangely. It was like a strain of sweet music, whose impelling beauty is never forgotten. Ho had remem-' bered it all through the long year. Backendorp had succeeded to his father's business by the natural law of heritage from father to son. Its sordidness had not robbed his nature of its inherent craving for, what might be called for lack of a more appropri ate word, "sentiment." Here was a woman of a different type from the others—a different type from his own wife, whose coarse voice rang in his ears even now. Ho lingered for a moment in the dark ened room behind the crescent-shaped window, and then emerged from' a door next it, with something clutched tightly in his hand. With one keen glance he observed the shabbiness of the poorly dressed woman before him. They were alone in the deserted outer room. The man leaned heavily against the door leading to the hall way and thence to the street. "Would you not rather have this than your own plain brooch?" he asked rapidly, hurriedly. "See—it'is a diamond. And its setting is beauti ful. It is of the best. You He moved toward her, attempting to seize her hand. "Stop!" she cried in a. ringing voice. "I came here to pay the inter est on 'my' brooch. He slunk through the half-opened door then, the diamond heart seeming to hiu» his fingers. When she had gone, he sank into a chair. "Confound it," he muttered, "and so shabby, too." "Another year gone by, we, haven't been sick anny to spake of, an" thank Ood we didn't want for food." Mrs. Mulligan,was hostess to-night, and her kindly face, fairly beamed with its hearty welcome and good will, the grace- the New Year already ap pearing to have imprinted its insignia upon it. "Now. darlint, I'm goin' to sing you an' old-fashioned Irish nursery song." Little Margaret smiled up at her. and with one small fist tightly clasped in the other's great rough one, pre pared to listen. As the crooning continued, its inter minable length -produced drowsiness. There was a fluttering and an essay ing, but the white lids wculd droop over the sweet bl'ue eyes. A Heaven ly s:milc appeared on the baby face. And little Margaret', in spite of her efforts, drifted peacefully into the lasd of dreams. "Phwat do you think?" Mrs. Mulli- gan began tentatively, "I saw him today." Mrs. Relevan relieved her of the sleeping child and buried her face in its soft, golden curls. "He wants to koom back. An' he looks moighty prospherous too. 'A misunderstanding,' he says, but—if you would forgive She never forgot the look on the white face, as it slowly upreared itself from the mass of tumbled1 curls. "Forgive," she cried brokenly, and 'then as the chimes began their peal ng the door opened and closed noise lessly, and Mrs. Mulligan slipped quietly out. A moment later a handsome, white faced man stood on the threshold. His arras were outstretched. His voice pleading. 'Its tones mingled vibrat ingly with the music of the chimes. "Let us begin the New Year to gether, Margaret," he said humbly "Together—dear." The child on her knee stirred rest lessly. She quietly reached out her hand. THE ONE GREAT PROBLEM. Question of Distribution That Has to Be Solved. George I.-. McNutt, the preav^«.r laborer and social economist, other wise known as '"x he Dinner Pa.il Man," tojd recently of a conversail—T he once had with a multi-fnillionairei After lecturing in the plutocrat's ijaan-. sion on the inequalities and strug gles of life, he seized the occasion to investigate the rich man's point of view. "What's the matter with this old world, anyway?" he asked. "Did the Creator overlook something im his plans?" "That's not it at all," was the reply. "It's all a question of distribution. I made my money by handling just one of the world's many products—just one—but every item of. waste was eliminated from the handling. This wasteful duplication in distributing is what picks our pockets and keeps the poor man down. Why, grapes that I raise on my farm in the West «ost to produce just one' cent a pound, but to put them on the table in New York makes the price soar to twelve cents a pound. In other words, God gives us grapes for one cent and our waste ful way of distributing them around makes them cost us eleven times more than they are actually worth. "You will say that our method ot handling products makes work for many men, but the high prices they are obliged to pay for everything makes it a game of taking in with one hand and paying out with the other There's no doubt of it, much of the world's misery hinges on this one thing—the question of distribution." Maximilian's Officer Saw Him Shot. A beneficiary of the will of Ferd inand Maximilian, emperor of Mexico from 1864 to 1867, lives in Vineland, N. J., in the person of Rudolf Stinerter, now 62 years old. He was a captain of artillery on the ship Penosola, and was sixty-five miles off shore the night Gen, Lopez betrayed the em peror. He started on land for his be loved commander with 11 guns and 940 men, and cutting his way through surrendered With 440 men and 3 guns. Stinerter, with other officers, saw his commander shot. He differs with his torians in describing the death scene. He says Maximilian refused to have his eyes bandaged, and stood up with one hand on his heart, marking the spot where the four soldiers were re quested to fire, and with the other hand outstretched fell back and expired immediately. Maximilian left each oi' his officers $100 a year in his will. The only other officer Stinerter knows tc be living is Baron Fulmer of Phila delphia.—Philadelphia Public Ledger To a Critic. I sometimes wonder which the earliest thrived, The mind creative or tlio analytic Whether the writer first arrived. Or first the critic. 'Tis certain that in Paleolithic times Men fully understood the art of slating And earlier than the birth of rhymes They practiced rating. Dear Critic, do not thirrk we value less The potency of your perennial function Because you sometimes curse and bless In strange conjunction. 'Tis true as the generations pass, There is a deal of reputation breaking The ages write you down an ass, And no mistaking. But let not this disturb your candid mind The donkey's ears are very slow in showing The lion's skin you hide behind Is vast and flowing. You need not think about posterity When bolstering the false or scoutina beauty. To rectify your faults will be Oblivion's duty. —Pall Mall Gazette. Onions as Weather Prophets. One of the rites performed by the French peasants on New Year's eve is the forecasting of the weather for the coming year by means of onions. When the bells ring for midnight mass they scoop out the middles ol twelve onions and set them in a row on the kitchen table, fill them with salt and name them for the months in thef year. Then, when they return from mass they examine the condition of the salt. 'If it has melted in any ol the "months" those months will be rainy if the salt remains dry it indi cates drought if half melted the firs) fortnight of the month will be wet. Tho peasants have such implicit faith in this means of foretelling the weather that they plant their crops in accordance with tho prophecy oi tho onions. Fox in a Dining Room. A fox, being hard pressed by the Tidworth Hunt, washed through the largo window of the dining room of tho residence of Major Foyle, R. E., at Netheravon, escaping through the front door.—London Express. HE REVI8ED THE RULES. finally Budget Was Reduced to One Important Section. "Before we were married," cogitated the round-shouldered but otherwise upright man, as he proceeded with his task of drying the dishes, which his wife had left in an untidy state when she departed for the convocation of the sewing circle, "I concocted—in my mind—quite a long series of by-laws and regulations which should govern and shape our married life. There were rules and formulas calculated, so I belidved, to fit almost any emergen cy that might arise and from time to time I added codicils to it, as they oc curred to me, till in the end it was a veritable constitution, duly authoriz ing two to live cheaper than one and happier than anybody# else. "But shortly after the ceremony which made us two souls with but a single thought, as they say in stories, I began, little at a time, to amend the document—it was a mental one, as I said before—and, strange as it may appear, the more amendments I added the shorter it became, till now, after the lapse of fourteen years of wedded bliss, my constitution is so reduced that it is composed of only one sec tion, which is as follows: "Section 1. What my wife says is law!"—London Tit-Bits. CHANCES ARE THEY WERE. Guest Asked for Soft-Boiled Eggs, but They Might Have Been Hard. The wife of _an out-of-town clergy man had been away from home for a week and had left certain light house hold duties for her husband to attend to during her absence, among them the getting of his own breakfast. On her return she was dismayed to learn that a brother clergyman had come to visit him and had remained one night at the rectory. In fear and trembling she inquired into the details of his entertainment. "I took him with me to the boarding house for dinner," her husband told her, "so that part was all right and I knew that you always kept the guest room ready for occupancy, so I was safe on that point. The only thing that I am not sure of having been satisfactory is his breakfast. He said on retiring that he would like to be called at 7 o'clock, and that all he would want to eat would be two soft eggs, so I put on the eggs at exactly 7, and then I called him. He never came down stairs until half-past 8, and there were his eggs boiling in the pot, and they may have been hard boiled for all I know."—New York Times. ^Welcome Home. ANew York custom house welcome described by an old lady: "The officer who meets you in the ship asks you your name, address, what date you sailed from the United States, name of 3teamer, how many trunks you have, if you have brought any dreases or are tailing any presents hoq|p. On the wharf the inspector opened fny parcel of wraps, pulled out my nightgown, hot water bottle and leggings. "He then opened my handbag, looked into the little box where I keep my hairpins, also the box with the corn plasters, took my comb and brush out of the paper, looked into my bag with the sewing materials. Then my trunk was turned and he asked if everything was my own wearing apparel and no presents. "Took out some of the things on top, and everything wrapped in paper he opened. He was very suspicious of everything wrapped in paper. He wanted to know what that beret was you sent to J., and I told him it was my golf cap. As I am nearly 70, he looked a little surprised."—San Fran cisco Argonaut. An Office Idyl. Sing a song of shorthand, A notebook full of "pi" Four and twenty letters To be written by and by. When the Girl is ready. And the keys begin to sing, What a pretty pile of work She- to the Man will bring. The Man is in his sanctum, Trying to make money Talking to a customer In tones as sweet' as honey. The Boy? Ah,, he's a pirate. Out on the stormy sea. The Girl is busy with her work, As happy as can be. Alas for life's swift changes! The Man no sale could make, His heart is very heavy And his looks would make you quake. The Boy has liid the story On which he fondly dotes. The Girl is on the verge of tears— She cannot read her notes. —C. O. L. in Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Filial Sorrow. "The late William M. Evarts xised to tell a good story about himself. While he was in the United States senate his wife and children were in their moun tain home in Vermont. One of the latter was looking out of the window, thinking of her father, and wishing that she -could see him, when a donkey in a contiguous pasture came to the fence, poked his head over the top rail, and brayed most dolefully. The child wiped a few lonesome tears from her eyes and then called to the donkey: "Never mind! Don't be lone some, for papa will be home Saturday evening."—Philadelphia Record. Too Many to Remember. A gentleman about to move out of the city and wishing information in regard to help called on a friend and said: "You've been living in the suburbs so long I suppose you've had consider able experience with servant girls?" "Well, yes," replied the other. "It's got so that when my wife is interview ing an applicant now she always be gins by asking: 'Were you ever em ployed by me before? If so, when and for how long?"—Philadelphia Ledger. ?W CONSTANT ACHING. Back aches all the time. Spoils your' appetite, wearies the body, wor ries the mind. Kidneys cause it ail and Doan's Kidney Pills relieve and cure it. ,,H. B. McCarver, of 201 Cherry St., Portland, Ore., in spector of freight for the Trans-Con-1 tinental Co., says:[ "I used Doan's Kid-| ney Pills for backl ache and other! symptoms of kid ney trouble which I had annoyed me I for months. I think I a cold was respon-l sible for the whole trouble. It seemed to settle in my kidneys. Doan's Kid ney Pills rooted it out. It is several months since I used them, and up to date there has been no recurrence ok the trouble." Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents per box. FOR tcr-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y. Useless Question. Judge—Madam, did I understand that you lost your pocketbook before or after you were at the bargain coun ter? Prosecuting Witness—I said there was money in it, didn't I?—Detroit Free Press. Deafness Cannot Be Cured by local applications, ft8 they cannot reai-h the dt» eared portion of the ear. 'l bere la only one wav to cure deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies Deafness la caused by an Inflamed condition of tba mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube ta Inflamed you have a rumbling sound or Im perfect. hearing, and when It la entirely closed. Deaf ness la the result, and unleiu the Inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condi tion, hearing will be destroyed forever nine ease* out of ten are caused by atarrh. which la nothing but un Inflamed Cundltlon'of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case ot Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be core4 by Hall's Catarrh Cure, Send for circulars, free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, ft Sold b» Drngsista, 73c. Take 11 all's Family Pills for constipation. No Pay. "Well, sir," brusquely Inquired the girl's father, "what can I do for you?" 'Why—er—I called, sir," stammered the timid suitor, "to see if—er—you would give assent to my niarriage with your daughter." "Not a cent, sir not a cent. Good day."—Philadelphia Press. A Rare Cood Thing. •'Am using ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE, and can truly say I would not have been without it so long, had I known the relief it would give my aching feet. I think it a rare good thing for anyone having sore or tired feet.— Mrs. Matild", Holtwert, Providence, ft. L» Sold by all Druggists, 25c. Ask to-day. It is easier to like where one does not love than to love where one does not like. All ingrates are not cowardly, but all cowards are ungrateful. TO CI7RE A COLD IN ONE DAT Take Laxative Uromo Quinine Tablet*. All drug* gin* rotund the money tf it fails to cure. K. W. ferove'a signature is on cach box. 25c. -V*'i The flour for the bread of life is nev er packed in gun barrels. TRADE MARK. THERE IS NOTHING more painful than Rheumatism •ad Neuralgia but there is nothing surer to cure than St. Jacobs Oil! The old monk cure. It Is pene trating, prompt and unfailing. Price 25c. and 50c. THE FARMERS on the Free Homestead Land] of Western Canada Carry the bannerfor yields of wheat and other grains for 1904. 100,000 FARMERS receive, *55,000,000 as result of their WheM CroB •lone. The rotarni trom 0»t«, Barley and other cr&tni, aa well aa cattle add horaes. add considerably to tlile. Secure a Free Ilomestead at once, or pnrcbaaa from some reliable dealer while land* are selllnirae present low prlcef. Apply for Information to Superintendent of Immi gration, Ottawa. Canada, or t« authorized Canadian Government Agent—Chxries Pilling, Clifford Block. Grand Forks, North Dakota. Please say where ynn *nxr tM» advertisement. Had a Pass/ The spirit of independence rules in'' "the girl of the period" in the State of Illinois. Two beautiful daughters of Judge were driving out on the plank road near Chicago, and stopped at the toll gate and asked the keeper: "How much is it?" "For a man and a horse," replied the ate keeper, "the charge is 15 cents." "We'll, then, git out of the way, for we are two gals and a mare. Git up, Tenny."—Philadelphia Public Ledger, Lord Milner may, as soon as he gets through in South Africa, be sent out as viceroy of India. Such Englishmen as William Waldorf Astor mijst won der how a man can stand it to keep always doing, time so far away from the tight little island.