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The Hope pioneer. (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, March 02, 1911, Image 9

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn87096037/1911-03-02/ed-1/seq-9/

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UvoLspfl Without Pood.
oagto and
blirds, such as the
vulture, arc able
k»l timo
lire a
without food, while aome
apodae of aoa blrda have been known
go without food
long aa 24 days.
species of blrda, living on
own fat, have been known to ex
for two montha without a morsel
af food.
From theae busts naturalists
have drawn the conclusion that all the
blrda hits a distinct ad­
vantage over the weaker varietlea in
therace for life In the wild.
For Qlrla Who Laek Decision.
Iwj girl ought to bear In mind
that decision is one of the most impor
attributes of life, and that too
often tho
truth Is proved of "he who
hesitates is lost." Things should never
to done by
halves if
it must
oooe, and
ly alone.
It 8urely la.
Pan buckwheat flour, "set" the
before with yeaat mixed with a
of salt and enough water to
batter, and finally supplied with
tablespoon of molasses to insure the
shade of brown that affords
visual delight Inseparable from all
buckwheat cakes—this is a
abtnatlon and a cake Indeed.
The Overamuaed Children.
make your children blase by
giving them
too many treats. Toung
do not need amusemients the
simply and quietly they live the
chance is there that they will
up strong and healthy. Over
amused children are never happy they
always craving for more excite
ment, and,
consequently, are diacon-
Get Out of Bed.
•fill early in the morning, not only
to avoid
self-reproach but to make the
moat of that
little life that remains
only to save the hours lost in
avoid that languor which
spread over mind and body for the
of that day in which you have
In bed.—Sidney Smith.
Justice Betrayed.
"My poor friend Jones, died the
other day," says the Philosopher of
Holly, "and In spite of evidence that
showed he had recently married a
graduate of a cooking school, the cor
oner's jury brought in a verdict of
natural death."
Longevity In Birds.
WUd geiese have been known to
live to the
atoo once
of SI
age of 100, and the raven
commonly lives
aald to be
50 years. A record fit
extant ahowlng that
The Secret
attained the ripe old age
phyalcian Informs us that the
best euro for sickness is to keep well.
way or other this had long been
and it is a Joy to have it
by expert authority.
Wlee Direction of Life.
hour every day withdrawn from
pursuits would. If properly
enable a person of ordinary
to go far toward mastering
adanoo.—Samuel Smilea.
Where Happlnees Breaks.
"Everybody in the world should be
a^ys the Toledo Blade. In a
like this, where there are not
0»tots enough for all of the people
laiglrlng to themf
A •allor'a Yarn.
at that moment my far
received a bullet that cut oil
both his
anna and legs snd threw him
sea. Fortunately
8sme Bost.
(to best-selling novelist)—
Just like you, old fellow—1
write either except for mow
Little In Him.
1 had
lunch with Skribble, th«
today." "Is that so? Do yov
there's much in hlmf" "No—
Auch! Apple pie and coffee!"
Momentous Question.
Here Mr. Dowllng rose and, with
lmpresalve manner, aaked the
where he lived.—From Ser
geant Ballantlno's Experiences.
No Female Angelology.
Mrs. Todd of New Tork, who bulldi
aeroplanes, says women were not
made to fly. Aren't all women an
I Hla Wasted Efforts,
no trouble with an argument li
tho loaer always goes away wltl
the Idea
Oaten to
that the other man won't
A Horse on Hubby.
QnrkMuly enough, when a
a pony coat lt'a a horse on hei
Life la Muele.
titfs If
a rich strain of music, sua
a realm too fair to be.—Out
l/yi) jw
thing is right
done boldly and at
if it be wrong, let It severe­
Remember that each day
actiona constitute a little lite,
and tint
our whole life la but
To Cure Poverty.
aa a door nalL"
la a rational way and a fool,
way of curing poverty. The rational
way la to recognise that the world la
full of magnificent auppllee and to try
to develop in the poor man a better
kind of wants—i. e.: to change hla low
thinking Into high, to replace hla love
of mud and lta by-products by a love
of the aplrit and spiritual qualitlea.
Tho fool way is to heap upon the soul,
already overaupplled, a mass of money,
homes, drapery, fancy halls, golf balls,
and highballs. Such a wretch has not
rlchee riches have him, and usu
ally ohoks the life out of M"
a Door Nail.
The phrase "Dead
Dread of Outdoor Air.
Why la there auch a dread of outdoor
air In the aleeplng room? Science has
made great advancea in hygiene. In
many hospltala children suffering from
dlaeaaea of the respiratory system are
taken up to cota on roofs and there at
tended by nurses In ulsters. Open air
and tent life are part of the recog
nised treatment of tuberculosis nowar
A Parting Injunction.
Some years ago, when going west
waa more of an undertaking than at
present, a young man waa leaving his
home In Vermont for Illinois. The
family waa gathered to say farewell,
and not without tears. The grand
father took the young man by the
hand and aald: "Now, John, remember
the Sabbath day to keep it holy and
look out for rattleenakea, and be care
ful that nobody ateala your watch."
To Churoh on a Traction Engine.
Jim Nixon went to church last Sun
day on hla steam threshing traction
engine. Jim aald he had got good
and darned tired of taking to the
ditch with his horse and wagon ev
ery time-he met one of those dod
blasted automobiles, and thought he
would ride down the road in a rig
they couldn't Jar.—Hedge Corners
(Mass.) Herald.
Prise Winning Apples.
A Butler county (Mo.) farmer stop
pod at a atore In one of the small
towns on his way to the county fair
and picked a dime's worth of apples
from a baaket He entered them at
tho fair and won a two-dollar prem
Rider and Ridden.
I never could believe that Provi
dence had sent a few men Into the
world ready booted and spurred to
ride, and millions ready aaddled and
bridled to be ridden.—Richard Rum
Nail Hint
Nails used in bathrooms and kltch
ana on which damp cloths and towels
may be hung should be painted with
enamel, so that they do not leave
rusty marks.
When Trees Beoome Scsrce.
Mr. Woodpecker (tired of flat hunt
ing)—This is the last disappointment
Til stand for. Rosy! I'll drill a hole
for myself If I have to tackle an iron
trolley pole!—Puck.
Dad on the Job.
Ton say the elopement was sort of
forced upon you?" "Yes after she
came down the rope ladder her dad
pulled It up."
Mortality In Wild Birds.
Few birds live to a natural extinc
tion of life in the wild state. It may
therefore be assumed that with good
care they will live longer In captivity.
Truly Ethereal.
Aa a Now Tork man came from un
der an anesthetic, he exclaimed, "This
is heaven." Curious, the effect ether
has on a chap.
What They're Not Doing.
When two women get their heads
together In a parlor lt'a a safe bet
that they're not discussing the
Dlsputs Over a Soale.
The money question haa disrupted
Brooklyn ehurch choir. The mem
bers can't agree on the scale which
begins and ends with dough.
Inoroaae In Rail Workers.
Tho number of railroad employees
In this country has Increased 67 per
cent In ton years.
Pollts Youngster.
"What do yon say to tho kind gen
tleman for giving you that oandyf"
"More, please."
To Keep Your Friend.
Keep your month and keep your
Mend.—Danish Proverb.
deed Advlee.
Doat watch tho dock when you are
", unless yon are a timekeeper
fai —"'M-ft-'
a door nail,"
originated in thla way: In early days,
when doorknockers were common, the
plate upon which the knocker struck
waa sometimes called a nail. In the
course of yeara it waa atruck ao often
that all life waa supposed to bo knock
ed out of It, therefore, when It became
naoeaaary to refer to anything hope
lessly lifeless It waa merely an em
phatic expression to say that it waa aa
Come, lads, I'll tell you what, we'll
dt we'll drop into the 'Reindeer,' and
order hot punch and cigars. What do
you nay? All lnfavor sing out aye!'
"Aye! aye!" shouted half a dozen
youthful voices but Harry Hilton
stood silent.
His comradea turned upon him si
"What's up, old feUow? Why don't
you speak out? You've made two dol
lars clear of your wages you're not
too miserly to have a glass of punch,
and a social Bmoke, are you?"
"Not I I'm no tnore miserly than
the rest of you, I take It," answered
the young man, stoutly.
"Then, why do you hold back? 1
say, comrades, come on the evening's
chill, and we've had a hard day's
work, and a glass of hot punch won't
go bad. Here we go, all of us, to a
"No, we don't," responded Harry.
He was a tall, handsome young fel
low, a head and shoulders above the
tallest of his fellow workmen, and
foreman In the iron manufactory of
Messrs. Kirby & Keith, where the
whole party found employment
They gathered about him in the
chill twilight.
"What's got Into the chap?" they
cried. "I say, Harry, what's come
over you? Why don't you come on?
We're in for a carouse, and maybe a
dance to wind up with. Arn't you go
ing along?"
"Then give us your reason. Are
you going to turn parson all of a sud
den, or do you hate to spend your ex
tra earnings? Come on, lads, we'll
club together and let him drink free."
"So we will," answered half a dozen
Harry's swarthy cheek began to
"You know me too well to talk like
that, lads," he said. "I'm not close
fisted with my money, as you shall
see, If you'll mention anything else
but the public house and drink 1
can't agree to that."
"And your reasons let's have em.
Are you turning parson?"
"No, but I've made a promise to my
mother, and she's a widow, and I her
only son—I've given her my word
never to drink in a public house, and
I shan't break It. That's my reason,
lads, and goodnight to you!"
And the worst of them was not bad
enough to advise the breaking of surli
a promise as that.
A year went by and a dozen of the
picked hands were up for promotion.
Messrs. Kirby & Keith had a posi
tion of great responsibility to award,
and one that brought excellent pay.
When the minor promotions were all
made just five young men were lelt,
and to one of these the lucrative po
sition was to go. Stalwart, honest,
upright young fellows, the whole five
of them.
The senior partner of the firm
pushed up his spectacles, and looked
about him in some indecision.
"Really, my good fellows," he said,
"I'm sorely puzzled how to proceed.
I've only the one position to bestow,
and here your are, five In number,
and equal In deserving merit How
am I to decide?"
"Cast lots, boss," suggested one.
The boss smiled, and seemed for a
ir!aute or two to favor the Idea, then
all of a sudden his eye sparkled.
"A better thought than that has
struck me," he said. "See here, my
lads, which one of you now can say
ho never took a dram in a public
house? Ah! here's a test for you!
Speak out, now, like men."
"I can say It, sir," spoke out Harry
Hilton, in his ringing voice "I never
took a drink in a public house In my
"Come, Mr. Hilton, honor bright
you're sure of what you say?" asked
"I'm sure, sir, or I should not have
said so," replied the young man,
"Aye, boss, and we can back him
in what he says," chimed In his com
rades. "We've no more to say the
place is his."
And so it was.
Harry Hilton was appointed to this
trustworthy situation and it trans
pired that in a few years more he waa
taken Into the firm as a partner and
he won and wedded for his'wife pret
ty Lizzie, the only child and heiress of
Mr. Kirby. And all this great, good
fortune came of his keeping his prom
8andown and Poker.
There are two games which at the
present moment are absorbing atten
tion in those places where two or
three—or more—beings gathered to
gether feel that time can only be
killed by playing something at which
you can either lose your money or
your temper. This being so, they have
found two ideal games at which it is
possible to squander both these as
sets. The one Is sandown, the other
Ir looker. Neither Is new, of course,
but both threaten to have the vogue
of bridge. One can gamble at them
to extent, and what more can any
one want, for this means excitement,
which is the veritable breath of mod
ern nostrils.—Lady's Pictorial.
"Wd that pretty Miss Peachem say
sb* would darn your socks for you?"
"No: but she was kind enough to
recommend a brand that wouldn't
need darning."
When the Yorick lamily's telephone
rirgs It is answered by whotve'
chanc~s to be nearest.
The housemaid pronounces the frir
i'.y name "Jorick," so no one eve:
confuses her with the rest of the
household. Also, Yorick has a deer
bass which is easily recognizable
But Mrs. Yorick and Miss Yorick have
voices that are much alike, the result
being that there are many amusing
mistakes over the wire.
One day last week, directly aftc
luncheon, both Mrs Yorick and Ccr
stantina strr-ed v,i"..:'?.irs to dress tor
the street. It was t! maid's aft?''
noon out, so when tl.e phone rang
Ccnstp.ntine hurried down to the li
brary, although her hair was vncoi'ed
rnd her mouth was full of pins. She
displaced the pins with care and took
up the receiver.
"Yes," she said, sweetly, "this is
Mrs. Yorick's residence. Yes. Oh.
yes, roal. Tcmoriow? Very well, I'll
tell lier and let yon know. Good by."
3he ran upstplrs again and began
to brush her hair violently, being late.
Constantina wsis goir.g t.o the matinee
and Mrs. Yorick r.s going out to see
her daughter, Eve'yn, who Is married
and lives on the north side. The mar
ried daughter, Mrs DeH'ort, was con
fined to the house with a cold and
was languishing for companionship.
"It was the ice company," Constan
tina explained to her mother, who was
shoe huntii in the floor of the ad
joining clothes closet, "and they want
Co sell us our winter coal."
"Coal?" inquired Mrs. Yorick,
emerging from the closet, flushed and
Constantina nodded. Mrs. Yorick
straightened herself with a shake and
jabbed four hairpins into place.
"Did I understand you to pay that
the ice company wished to supply us
with coal?"
Constantina nodded again.
"Did you ever!" commented Mrs.
Yorick with disgust. "As if their ice
didn't melt fast enorgh as it is! There
goes that telephone again."
This time it was the wrong number.
When it rang the third time Mrs.
Yorick herself rrse. "I'll go, dear,"
she said. "Your puffs fell behind the
Then she went downstairs. "Yes,"
she said when she reached the phone.
"This is Mrs. Yorick. Oh, Dr. Dele
van. To Evelyn's? I was getting
ready to go this minute. Yes, Indeed
thank you. In half an hour!"
At this moment Constantina de
scended, rqady to go. "It was young
Dr. Delevan," her mother Informed
her. "He said he was driving north
this afternoon, and he thought I
might like to go to Evelyn's. It'hap
pens most conveniently and IB very
kind oi him, Is it not?"
ConBtantlna smiled with pleasure at
the doctor's courtesy and departed
in pursuit of her appointment.
Thirty minutes later Mrs. Yorick
greeted Dr. Delevan in the drawing
"It was so nice of you," she assured
him as she drew on her gloves.. "The
weather is still delightful for driv
ing, with plgnty of wraps. And 1 am
ready on ttztie, you see."
The doctor appeared slightly embar
rassed. "Is Miss Constantina—er—
would she care to go, too, do you sup
pose?" he Inquired.
"She has gone to the matinee,'"
Mrs. Yorick told him smilingly, "or
she would be charmed."
Upon reaching Evelyn's she sought
her daughter's room.
"Is that you. Con?" called Evelyn's
voice to the approaching footsteps.
"I'm in the south room. Why, mother
I'm so glad yon rame, too."
"Too," repeated Mrs. Yorick, won
deringly. "You weren't expecting
Constantina, were you? She's at the
"But," began Evelyn, in perplexity,
"Dr. Delevan told me he was going to
ask Con to motor out with him this
afternoon. I thought
She paused. Her mother swallowed
twice and regarded her fixedly for a
moment. "I see it all!" she said,
finally, with a gasp of amusement.
"It was Constantina he asked for—
Miss Yorick, nfit Mrs. Yorick. That
telephone Is defective. It's an out
rage! I shall have a man come to
morrow to fix it."
She sat down suddenly and began
to laugh.
"After all," she said when her voice
returned, "there Is no harm done,
though the joke is on ir.e. Con has
always protested that Dr. Delevan's
atientions were much too -impersonal
to be flattering, and if he wishes to
communicate with the Yorick family
by phone he must do so at his own
Arparent Disagreement
Oldcomiuutte—I've been living in
Surbanville now for about three years
Newcommutte—Three years? Why,
the other day you told me you had
moved there five years ago
Oidceir.mutte—That's all right but
you must remember that I have lived
about two years on the trains, going
and coming.
Holrs Surrounded by Dyspepsia.
Meat Eater—I've tried nuts as food,
but they don't seery to agree with me.
Vtgotarian—What kind of nuts did
you u&a?
M. K.- -Doughiiuts.
"I lev* you more than life," he said:
"Without you I should wish to die,
The lun would cease to shine o'erhead.
The stars cease blading in the sky."
"And what about the winds?" asked she
"Ould they knock off and cease to
The streams that murmur to the sea
would they back up and cease to flowl
He left her In the dewy eve.
And thought, what time he scratched
his head
"I_cannot more than half believe
thought I meant the things I
Bussaw Bill—Say, pardner, thor's
dude from ther east In Lasso Lou'i
saloon. Let's go over anr lick him.
Alkali Ike—Not on your life.
might be one of them football players
The Difference.
The ancients from the moderns
Have one difference, we have read
The moderns earn their living,
While the ancients urned their dead.
Sour Grapes.
Miss Woodbe (who lost)—Your hus
band is evidently a bigamist. You
should apply for a divorce at once.
Mrs. Gothim (who won)—Why, whal
do you mean?
Miss Woodbe—Well, he has been tell
lng it around that he had married
both beauty and brains.
Wanted to Be Happy.
"I suppose-you want me to look ai
pleasant as possible?" said the sister.
"Certainly, sir," replied the photog
rapher. "And I'll have to ask you foi
a small deposit in advance."
"What's that for?"
"That's so that I can look pleasant
8weets to the 8weet.
"Willie, what are you eating?"
"Where did you get it?"
"Bought it."
"Where did you get the money?"
"Your beau gave it to me when 1
saw him kiss your maid."
The Reoourse.
"My father will not allow me tc
marry you," said the tearful maiden
to her fond lover. "He says you arc
too much In the air about your busi
"Then, darling," said the young av
iator, "come fly with me."
No Need.
"I wonder," said the casual visitoi
at the police court, to the clerk, "thai
you seem to take no Interest in th
weather forecast here."
"We don't have to," replied th«
elerk. "All days are fine days in thli
l*dy—Here's the carpet. Now beat
(Beats it)
Vsln Words.
O flrost be warm dear snow, don't fall:
Ana shrieking winter wind be mute.
Remember, what I wear is all
1 have to weari my outing suit
A Marked Likeness.
"The young boxer you were trylni
conclusions with resembles his fathei
very strongly In his way of fighting
doesn't he?"
"Oh, yes quite a striking rssem
Before and After.
"What is Mary doing for a llvini
"She is posing for pictures that will
be used to advertise a beauty wash."
"And who Is posing for the 'aftei
taking* pictures?"
"Bom* people take their religion si
some other people do their baths."
"And how is that?"
"About once a week."
-'."r '•./
He won a wager which was small.
The Joy of triumph filled Mm thsnt
He could not understand at all
Why failure saddened other men.
A pretty woman gave him praise.
To him the future seemed aglow
He could not understand the ways
Of men who elung to borrowed west
Lo, what a change Is often wrought
Within a moment O my Mend
He burned hla linger and he thought
The world waa coming to aa end.
Weary—Oh! if I could only git me
hands on de hobo dat put de "Timid ln
valid lady" sign on dis gate post!
Vsln Qlrl.
Mary had a pretty foot
And Mary seemed to know it
'Cause everywhere that Mary went
•he tried her beat to show it
Blew Too Hard.
"Do you remember tho fat man who
used to live aoross the way and prac
tise on a trombone every mornlngf
"He's dead."
"Serves him right!"
"Oh, he wasn't murdered. He rup
jtured a blood vesssL"
Duly Informsd.
Child—Mamma, what Is a common
Mother—Why, child, a common per
son It—is—well, it's a person that ws
do not associate with. Why do you
Child—'Cause Mrs. Nextdoor said
you was a common person.
No Vsnus.
Little Pitchers—I say. Miss Oldglrl,
you ain't In the lire department art
I you?
Miss Oldglrl—Certainly not, Tommy,
What makes you ask suoh a question!
Little Pitchers—Because I heard
brother Will say you was a falsi
Going the Paoe.
"I understand they aro up-to-dati
"Decidedly so. They stand off th«
butcher, the baker and the candlestick
maker, so they can live continuously
in an atmosphere of dust and gaso
"That fellow is a most remarkabli
"Who? Burroughs?"
"Yes. He's always running into dolri
and yet he's forever running away
the people to whom he is la
ibt"—Catholic Standard and Times.
The Precent Need.
"Ah!" said an enthut,' stlo admire^
"you will live In the hearts of you!
"Maybe so," answered the father ol
a new idea, "but the problem thai
oonfronts me now is how to pay th«
rent of a flat"
'Ah! the 'Black Hand!' That meani
•mepln' orful's goln' to happsn ti
There With the Goode.
The pretty salesgirl, you'll agre*
Views not with much alarm
The charms of girls in the social
For she has her oounterchaim.
A Slight Elevation.
"He Is very proud of his ancestors.
In fact, says one of his ancestors wai
looked up to by a great many pee
"No doubt I guess that happomt
on the day he was hanged."
His Moderation.
"He looked surprised whan
1 was surprised ho only

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