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FREEING THE SLAVE
OLD JOE DIDN'T TAKE IT IN THE ORTHODOX MANNER. Instead of Weeping and Begging to 8tay, He Gave Out Yell, Ran Away and Never Was Heard of Again. All present had heard, ever so many timeB, those good old stories of how the slave of ante-bellum times, when told that he was free—"Yes, free, Scipio"—had thrown himself, sobbing, at his master's feet, and begged, with tears in his eyes, that he be not sent away—that he be allowed to serve the tamlly in any capacity until the end of his days. Therefore all present looked wise and resigned when the southerner launched on his story. "Down at our old home in the south," he said, "there was an old ne gro called. Joe who had been on the place as far back as any of us could remember. In fact, so long had he been there that he had grown to be just like' a member of the family. We children Included him in all oar games and treated him exactly as we would any other playmate, while his long years of Bervice had earned him every sort of special consideration from the grown folks. "So meritorious was Joe that my father decided one day to make him a free man. He went about the neces sary formalities quietly, and, when all wais ready, resolved to give the thing a dramatic setting. "So he called the family together, likewise his slaves, and when they were all there, grouped impressively about him, he summoned Joe. "The faithful old slave appeared. 'Joe,' said my father solemnly, 'you have served UB long and well. We have a great affection for you.' "We all beamed approval. Joe's face grew puzzled. 'I feel that we should show that affection in Bome substantial way,' continued my father. Then, after a short pause, he said: 'Joe, you area free man.' "Joe did not seem to understand. He looked at my father and then at the rest of us in a bewildered way. -uiopaejj jnoX noiC 9AJ8 I 'aof„ You are no longer a slave. I am no longer your master,' said my father. "The slave's face began to clear. 'Free?' he queried. "'Yes,' said my father. "For one moment Joe stood there. Then—" In his turn, the southerner made a dramatic pause, even as his father had done before him. His auditors were listening, bored but polite. "Then," he continued, "that negro gave one ungodly yell, swung his cap about his head, and without so much as saying 'goodby- dashed out of the house as fast as his legs could carry him. We never so much as heard of him again." Insurance and Hymen. Grasse, a German authority on race biology and life insurance, in a recent number of the Journal for Life In surance^ Examiners, is of the-oplnion that life insurance may be made to play an important part in the preven tion of the union in marriage of sick ly or otherwise unsuitable individu als. He holds that the public should be educated to expect that every prospective bridegroom and bride be Insured before marriage if insurance were denied to either one it should be necessary to prove to the parents of the bride or bridegroom, as the case might be, that the grounds for the refusal of insurance were not equally strong grounds against enter ing into the married state. Grasse says If this custom should become, universal life insurance would become a great factor in the preservation ol the strength and health of the race. Evidently Germany is doing some good thinking In other lines than in merely developing the commerce of the na tlon, and has a most practical way of presenting the case in insurance ae well as in other lines. "The propel •tudy of mankind is man." Poor Sophia's Case. Dr. Ronald H. Curtis, the well-knowo zoologist, said In a recent lecture in Charleston: "I take no etock In all these yarns about the disinterested affection ol animals. An animal's affection la parasitic—your dog loves you because yon feed it. Analyze these yarns about animal affection, and they turn out like Sophia's case. "There was a rich old maid who had an ill-natured cur named Sophia. The old maid died, leaving her fortune to her nephew, who had lived with her. I met the nephew one day, and ven tured to offer him my sincere sym pathy. He said: "'Yes, It's sad. And the morning after my aunt's decease the dog, So phia, also died.' 'Grief, I "suppose?" said I. •"No,' Bald he 'prusslc acid."* Railway Clerk's Specialty. ,Among the voluntary helpers in the work of compiling the Oxford Englisli dictionary, the most learned authority on words and phrases of the Eliza be than period, according to Dr. R. A. Mlers' principal of London university, was a railway clerk. Practical Philosophy. "My husband worries BO orer thl gas." "Tell him he ought to make light ol It- NURSES SHOULD NOT SNORE ... One of Them Tells How the Habit Keeps Them From Holding.. Good Places. "In all those months I was In the hospital somebody ought to have warned me, I think," said the trained nurse. "Of course I had it from the folks at home that I snored a little, but I never took it seriously until I went on my first case. I found then that it is a serious matter for a nurse to snore. "I took the case from a nurse whose own health had broken down. The patient was nervous and excited oyer the contemplated change, and that made my ordeal more severe a brand new case of my own would have been much easier. Still, we got along fairly well together the first half of the night. He was a Kindly man, and soon after midnight he insisted that 1 should try to get some sleep. I didn't think I'd catch a wink, but by and by I dozed off. It was a fatal sleep for me. The next morning the patient's sister told me about the snoring. 'James could not rest at all,' she said. 'I heard you in the next room.' "Before night I was looking for an other Job. Of course I did not have to give up nursing entirely, but the hard cases, where I am required to keep awake every second, are open to me. All those soft snaps that give you a chance to sleep half the night are beyond the reach of the snoring nurse." PIGEONS ON A JAMBOREE Drink Liquor Spilled in the Street and Gave Real Exhibition of Drunkenness, A heavy truck loaded high with kegs of liquor was jolting across a line of downtown car tracks when one of the kegs toppled and fell from the jLop of the pile Into the street. It iwas thoroughly smashed, so the truck inan whipped up his team and went his way without stopping. The rum flowed out over the street—one little dent in the paving collecting a visible puddle of it. In a few minutes a pigeon came flut tering down to drink at the pool thus fortunately provided for thirsty birds. The initial taste was a surprise, but a second and a "third soon followed, and soon the pigeon tottered flutter ing away, too overcome to fly. Other birds, seeing him there and anxious to wet their parching throats on so pultry a day, followed their brother in his path of wicked intemperance. Five minuteB later a passerby was astonished to see a dozen pigeons in the gutter of the otherwise deserted ptreet, some dancing drunkenly, others already sound asleep. A few feet away a hound of disreputable appear ance was creeping up, slowly and a trifle unsteadily, on his unsuspecting and bibulous quarry. As he was al most among the birds his feet went suddenly in several directions and he lay in the gutter among the pig pons, growling sleepily to himself, for he, too, was drunk. Misleading Names. Practically all the wooden clocks called Dutch are made in the village of Freyburg, in the Black Forest. This misnomer is due to simple mispronun ciation—"Deutsch" meaning, of course, German. Nothing is more natural than to assume that India ink comes from India, but it does not, and never did, any more than does India rub ber. India ink is a Chinese product, and India rubber comes frotii South America. Camel's hair brushes are not made from the hair of camels, but from the hair of the tails of Rus sian and Siberian squirrels. Camel's hair Is, however, employed in the man ufacture of certain fabrics to be made into shawls, etc., and is sometimes mixed with silk. Hoodooed Her Hair. Another black mark has been chalked down against number thir teen. "I did up my hair the other night in curl papers torn from an old calen dar," said the pretty girl, "and in the morning when I took it down I had a row of beautiful curls all around my head except right over the left tem ple. That lock was as straight as a lead pencil, and I had dampened it with lemon juice just like all the oth ers, but when I unrolled the paper I found out why it wouldn't curl. The page. I had twisted it over was the thirteenth of the month." Navajo Blankets. Much unadulterated nonsense has been written concerning the symbol ism of Navajo Indian blankets, and the poetry, legend, tradition and history woven by the squaw into its fabric. It is true that some designs have a sym bolic meaning, but Hopi, Zuni and Apache symbols are used quite as freely as those peculiar to the Nava jos. The Navajo squaw is one of the least imaginative and least poetical of human beings, and it is quite safe to say that even when symbolic de signs are employed in basket weav ing it is without the remotest refer ence to their true significance. Asbestos Shingles. Asbestos shingles are now being manufactured in this country with suc cess, and the trade has grown enor mously. The new products are of the lightest weight, and fireproof up to a temperature of 2,000 and more de grees. They are proof against acids and weather, and last as long as a eoncrate building will. NERVOUS IN PUBLIC MANY WORLD-FAMED SPEAKERS NEVER OVERCOME THIS. With Some It Persists as Mannerisms —Yawn and Handkerchief of Late Duke of Devonshire—Glad stone's Peculiar Actions. Persons who are unaccustomed to speak in public believe that their nervousness is solely due to their in experience, and that public men can make sxieeches as coolly as they make conversation. In some cases this may be so, but few speakers are ever able wholly able to cast off their nervous ness. Sometimes it persists only in the form of a mannerism, attractive or otherwise, but some old parliamentari ans never escape from the tremors and terrors which shook them when their maiden speech was delivered. The late duke of Devonshire is usu ally spoken of as the perfect type of the impassive Englishman. When he entered the house of commons as Lord Cavendish, he distinguished himself by prefacing his maiden speech with a prodigious yawn. But he was by no means as languid In fact as he was in appearance. When he rose to speak he would lean one arm on the nearest of the two iron-bound- boxes on the table be tween the front benches. After a slight hesitation and a few quiet words, the other hand would steal to the tail pocket of his coat and emerge holding a neatly-folded white cambric handkerchief. Without unfolding it he would gently rub the corners of his mouth, and this done, the hand, still holding the handkerchief, would rest on the hip or be thrown back. Sitting near him, one could observe that the grip on his handkerchief tightened, and that the muscles of the hand were in continuous action. At 'the close of his speech the band opened, and one saw not the clean, folded cambric handkerchief, but only a solid, greasy ball, which was quick ly returned to the pocket. Here was the safety valve for the impassive no bleman's nervousness. Gladstone was one in whom nerv ousness had become mannerism. When he rose to speak he began with a few gracious words on the speech which was about to follow, or some pointed remark as to .the character and importance of the subject. In his earlier days this was, no doubt to "get his breath." His next act was to raise his right band over his head with the thumb bent down and gently scratch his skull. That is rather common among public speakers. The third action of Mr. Gladstone was his peculiar and Individual sign. Throwing his arms downward by his side, he would with his fingers seize the cuffs of his coat and draw these down 'over his shirt cuffs so as to conceal them complete ly. The ordinary practice is just the reverse, the desire being to expose and not conceal the white linen of the shirt cuffs. These were the in variable preludes to the great com moner's speeches.—Pall Mall Maga zine. Not in the Library. Mr. Claptrap arrived at the circula ting library the other day with his hands full of small packages and as cross as two sticks because his wife had asked him to fulfill some commis sions for her while he was out. With a look which was just as disagreeable as he felt he handed to the little li brarian a list which he had made to aid his memory. "My wife wants these books," he said gruffly. "Be quick about getting them, if you please. I'm in a great hurry." The girl, who was a trifle shy and inexperienced, flushed, and, saying that he should have the books direct ly, went to look for them. She was gone some time and when she re turned he glared at her indignantly and asked if Bhe expected him to "wait all day." "I'm very sorry," she apologized, "but you see I've been looking for the last book on the list. Here are the other three, but 'Hairpins and Castor Oil' I can't find and—and I'm afraid it isn't in the library." "Good heavens!" groaned Mr. Clap trap, quite crestfallen. "Did I put those things down in the book list!" In Praise of Modesty. Reginald De Koven told at a musl cale in Chicago a pretty story in praise of modesty. "A group of tourists," he said, "vis ited Beethoven's house in Bonn. One of the tourists, a girl of twenty or so, sat down at Beethoven's piano and played the "Moonlight Sonata' none too well. Beethoven's own work, in his own room, on his own piano! "When the girl had finished, she rose and said to the old caretaker: I suppose lots of famous musicians have been here and played on this in strument?' 'Well, miss,' the caretaker an swered gravely, 'Paderewski was here l£st year, and his friends urged him to play, hut he shook his head and said: 'No, I am not worthy.'" A Good One. "Is little Mrs. Bings' worthless hus band going to dine home on Thanks giving day?" "No I understand he is going to stay away for a culinary reason." "A culinary reason?" "Yes. He knows his goose la cooked." KIND HE WEARS HIMSELF Clerk Sells the Editor Some "Non Itchy" Underwear But His Veracity Is Doubted. We believe in giving every man the benefit of the doubt. We do not like to attack anyone's veracity in haste. Often men have deceived us aB to facts and conditions, but always we have liked to think they were mis taken. We have gone our way con fident that they had not intentionally led us astray. But there is a certain clerk In a certain underwear shop in this town whom we would not believe again under oath. We were in search of some new white undergarments. We hesitated in our choice. The clerk saw that we were slipping from his grasp, to-wit: that he was about to lose a sale. "Now this garment," says he, "is one of the kind that I always wear myself." Pulling back his coat and shirt sleeve he exhibited his undergarment. Aside from the fact that It wasn't quite as clean it looked like the very stuff op. the counter. "Does it itch?" was asked. "Not a bit," he replied. "That's the beauty of this make. I've never had any trouble. You can put a suit of this right on and it won't bother you a particle." He looked so honest and straight forward and frank when he said it that we fell for his line of talk. That we haven't known a moment's peace since we need not relate. What we wish to emphasize Is the fact that that young man, with the honest coun tenance, must have had a back red with itching and scratching when he told us that unmitigated falsehood. His legs and arms must have been crimson with irritation, yet he stood right up there and denied it. Either that or he liad when he said that he wore the Hind of flannels he sold us. Even us we write we hardly know whether to finish this sentence or get up and scratch our back against the door.—Detroit Free Press. Knowing One Another. I have a friend who says: "When I first saw the Oriental rugs of the professor of our new red brick high school building's wife, hangin' on the line, I says to myself: 'No. Not that woman. I won't never vote for her for president of the Ladies' Aid. She ain't one of us.' And while they was votin' that day I set over in one corner feelin' mean, and thinkin': 'No. You don't get no ballot out of me. You ain't folks.' And then the next mornin', while I was gettin' breakfast she comes walkin' acrost the yard between our two houses, and she saids: 'Oh, Mis' Arthur, I'm ma kin' Johnny Cake, and I can't tell whether you put in soda or bakin' powder. Which do you?' And when I'd told her how, and she'd started back, I stood inside the screen door just lookin' after her. And I thought: 'Why, my land. Underneath your Oriental rugs you was like that all the time. Why, you're folks—' The thing is as simple as the light: Getting to know one another is the problem. Social centering is the way to work it out. And at the last, de mocracy is the answer.—Zona Gale iu La Follette's Magazine. "Geological Tuberculosis." The Washington monument at the national capital, highest of ston« structures, and designed by its build ers to stand as long as the pyramids, is suffering from a disintegration that, while not immediaely fatal, will short en its life, says John S. Mosby, Jr., in the December Popular Mechanics Magazine. The great shaft, 555 feet in height, consists of walls 15 feet thick at tlifl base. These walls are made up of an outer facing of marble blocks and a four-foot Inner wall made of granitfl and other hard stone. Between these two walls there is a filling of heter ogeneous stone, held together by a ce ment. This describes the first 100 feet, which is. the part now affected. This part was built continuously from the beginning of the structure. Then, for years, the construction halted at that height. It is the interior filling between these walls that is now, through the deadly effect of beat and cold and dryness and dampness at tacking it alternately, beginning to disintegrate and ooze out between the joints of the outer wall and the crevices made by the action of the ele ments. A Real Delicacy. A New York clubman who prides himself on his knowledge of things epicurean was much interested in an item he discovered in the menu laid before him on the occasion of his visit to a town of the middle west. The item was "green bluefisb." "Waiter," demanded the New York er, "what sort of blueflsh are green blueflsh?" "Fresh, sir," quickly responded th« servitor. "Right from the water." "How dare you impose upon me?" continued the clubman. "You know well enough that blueflsh are not ta ken at this season." Whereupon the waiter picked up the menu and gave it a careful scru tiny, as if by that action be would solve the mystery. Then, with an air of one suddenly enlightened, he add ed: "Oh, that, sir? That's hothouse blue fish."—Lippincott's. Logical Progress. "The new show went like a breeze." "I was told the backer had to send lot o£ drafts." AH Get All The News Merchant and Exchange Work. grades of flour uif Clues. apaalal atttatloa. W I I S FOR S3 A YEAR. The Hope Pioneer, Regular Price $1.50 a year, Gives you all the local newB and tells what happens all over the home county as reported by our special correspondents. Bigger and better than ever. The Minneapolis REGULAR PRICE $2.00 A YEAR. Brings you every weekday com plete illustrated news and accu rate market reports, with special articles and clean sport pages. Woman's page a feature. An in dependent people's paper, not owned by the trusts. This special low price for both Is extended to the first 100 sub scribers. Take It now. SAMPLE COPIES FREB AT THIS OFFICE. Professional Cards. C. S. SHippy, Attorney-At-Law and Notary Public HOPE. N. DAK C. S. Johnson Lawyer Hope N. Dak. Office Over Hurst'a Store Dr. H. G. Fish. Physician and Surgeon Telephone Connections. Office second floor of WOODWARD BLOCK, HOPE. Office hours 9 a. m. to 9 p. m. DR. C. B. IIAR WOOD PHYSICIAN A N SURGEON. Office in Philip's Block Telephone: ffice K7 feed la stock at all Grist grladlag for faraiars recclrea The Hope Dray Line C. F. FERELL, Prop. Prompt and Accurate Service J. Garden plowing given special attention. Calls attended promptly, and goods removed without risk or injury, Your business solicited. HOPE, Nor iH Dakota Sliotweli Floral Co. special nntlcc, Residence 11? Dr. J. G. Abbott, o—-Physician and Surgeon Office over First National Bank. Oliice Phone No. 181. Residence No. 169. OSCAR ANDERSON A IN E A N E O A O Three Doors West of Post Office Hope, N. Dak. N?DAK! Growers of Plants.Cut Flowers, &c. Funeral Designs made on short notice. flume or wlil t- us Niidit or IJay. 41-tf. Send for Calalovua. 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Going Daily except 1 Going East Sunday West 8:10 p. .'Fargo 6:25 a. m. 7:15 ..Casselton .. 7:40 6:35 Ayr 8:28 6:13 Page 8:48 5:54 ... Colgate.... 9:01 5:42 Hope 9:17 2:30 Aneta 10:25 2:15 Devils Lake 12:35 Close connections at Fargo for St. Paul and Minneapolis A, G. FICK, Agent Hope, N. Dak.