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IîhTûIHN FEAST i newspapermen at national capital have a time. I president Roosevelt and President-elect Taft Are Told a Few Things of What the Members Thinks of Them, AU of Which is Received in Good Nature— Many Others Are Also Subjects. Washington, Jan. 31.—Farewell to President Roosevelt and Vice President Fairbanks—in their official capacities on ly_was said to them Saturday night by the famous Gridiron club of Washington newspaper men. The occa sion was the annual winter dinner of that club. In all there were nearly 200, guests, and, as is always the case, the roll included many names that figure conspicuously in the hall of fame. Am bassadors, justices of the supreme court of the United States, cabinet offi cials sonators, representatives, editors, publicists and men of affairs generally wore in the gathering. It was far from a sad affair, though the occasion was of a farewell nature. Gridiron dinners never are sad. As the president and the vice president were the guests of honor, so they came in for equal prominence in the fun of the evening. While they were the butt of many of the jokes and skits, there was every evidence that they enjoyed tho entertainment as much as the rest until the jests wore aimed at others. Tho temperance movement showed its effect on the club. As the souvenir of tho dinner tho guests were given "H 2 O" illustrated gridiron almanacs published by the "Gridiron Water Wagon Press " Between its covers no remedy was given for the ills of states men, journalists, real newspaper men, mollycoddles and "malefactors of great wealth'' other than plain "H 2 O." In this almanac the "Teddy Bear'' formed the center of the signs of the zodiac, while the entire production was marked as forwarded to congress as "special message No. 23232323232323.'' Total Eclipse in March. The guests observed particularly that the total eclipse of the year "is due in March ' ' and ' ' "will be viewed with in terest by the United States, Africa and Oyster Bay.'' A list of forecasts for every day w T as given in one section of the almanac, but the prognositications did not extend beyond March 4. The reason for this, it was explained, was that "after the fourth of March there is no telling what will happen.'' For the convenience of the guests a notice stated that "gentlemen men tioned'' for the Taft cabinet would march in procession at the inaugura tion, forming division 23, under Wil liam Loeb, Jr., "who has been 'men tioned' most frequently.'' But all the wit was not in that al manac, as a megaphone announced bul letins from the "great battleground.'' This great battleground,'advertised on bills scattered through the banquet room, proved to be a fight between President Roosevelt and congress. The inauguration of Henry Hall, correspondent of the Pittsburg Chron icle-Telegraph, as president of the club, afforded the retiring president, James Henry of the Philadelphia Press, an opportunity to give the new official some instructions. The new president took the oath with his long arm raised and two fingers crossed, swearing that he would keep the Ananias club in a flourishing condition, ride 98 miles a day and keep congress on its reservation. When Jewel H. Aubrere, correspond - ent of the St. Louis Globe-Democrat, made his appearance for initiation he produced an invitation from the presi dent of the Aanaias club. He was told of his mistake, but he insisted that the room was packed with members of the Ananias club. Darkness and Sleuths. Dinner was well advanced when tho lights suddenly went out. Amid dark ness, and to the accompaniment of a weird piano air there was a shuffle of feet, and in rhyme came a sibilant and mysterious "sh-sh-sh.'' The se cret service sleuths were approaching One of their number explained that the sleuths were trying to find out what congressmen did with their $5000 a year. Chief Wilkie admitted that ho had detected no counterfeiters, but added that he had discovered a ' ' four flusher.'' The sleuths then sang their repertoire, including a song about sleuthing in general and White House sleuthing in particular. Finally the squadron separated, one going out "to protect the letter boxes in order to keep Senator Tillman from franking grand piano.'' At one stage of tho dinner an inter ruption was made to revise the tariff. Representative Sereno E. Payne of New York, John Dalziel of Pennsyl vania and Champ Clark of Missouri were discovered seated at a table. An nouncement was made that the house committee on ways and means was in liession to hear evidence concerning the tariff, and * ' God save the United ^States,'' added the herald. The climax .of Andrew Carnegie's testimony came when he demanded to know what rea son there was for a tariff on steel, now that he had gone out of business. The music, as attractive as usual, reached its culmination when a quartet of members told Vice President Fair banks in song that in " the club 's mem ory his tall form would ever fondly Wabash, far live.'' The guests joined in singing to the tune of "The Banks of the WabaBh'': ' ' Oh the cocktails they are crowing in the morning I And the buttermilk is flowing through ^ They are waiting the return'of Fair banks On the banks of the away. ' ' During the evening the first line sung in a clear tenor directed atten tion to the president of the United States. It was a song about "Roose velt, Good Dutch Name.'' It told how the president made the air blue with the message he wrote to congress, how he was bound to have something to say about everything on the face of the earth and then concluded with the observation that ''there never was a man named Roosevelt that did not make a d—d good president.'' A number of members appeared as the president 's country life commis sion. * Some" startling discoveries "wena ' made by these frockcoated, college-de- ' f groe-plastered gentlemen. They found that the principal ingredient of milk is *• ." ,s citv folk -is utrVtl g f g3 r 60 d to city folk as strictly fresh, and that openwork plumbing is confused in the . j , tue rural mind with openwork shirt waists. 'Possum Fine, Cables Taft. As they departed a messenger boy handed President Hall a cablegram. It read: "The 'possum am very, very fine.—William H. Taft.'' Tho message came from Panama and ' I served to introduce Major Alfred F. Carter, a southern correspondent, who sang his famous "Watermelon and Possum" song. Klaw and Erlanger 's "BEN-HUR" To Fill February 17, 18, 19 and 20, at the Spokane Theater, Spokane. 4 -«: _ i ,1 ,, . I massiv ml . um l' laT1 y as 10 most massive and pmturesque as well as the most impressive dramatic spectacle in the history of the world, " Ben-Hur " j 7i" ek s n ? W ho " ors , at the Spokane theater, Spokane, Wash., on Wednesday e\ ening, e iruary 17, where it will remain for an engagement of four ovenings, together with a special mat- j inee performance, on Saturday, Feb ^ ' <Jt all the spectacular productions of modern times none has been credited T\ith so long a run of prosperity as this great and popular dramatic spectacle, Ben-Hur ' is today crowned with a record of more than 2500 performances in America and 200 in London, in a little over nine years, and has been seen by more than seven millions peo-l pie. The success of the play is cred- > ited to the religious sentiment that prevails in the theme, making it par ticularly attractive to the non-theater goer, who as a rule avoids the play house owing to religious scruples. In order to take care of out-of-town patrons for "Ben-Hur" the Spokane theater management will fill mail or ders in accordance with date of their receipt, when accompanied by remit tance. The scale of prices will range from 50 cents to $2.00. Seats will go on sale Monday, February 15. Dan Sully. Dan Sully 's new play, "The Match maker," in which he will appear at the Spokane theater February 10 and 11, is a comedy drama in three acts by Jerrold Shepard. ( The play was written expressly for Mr. Sully, and tho character of Father Daly is said to fit him perfectly. It is remarkable for its dramatic strength, cleverness of construction and the rich ness and abundance of its comedy, as •" well as fidelity to nature of its char acter drawing. Bookings at the Spokane. February 7—"Devil's Auction." February 10-11—Daniel Sully in "The Matchmaker." February 12-14—"The Girl of the Flower Ranch." February 15-16— E. H. Sothern. February 17-20—"Ben-Hur." February 21-23—"Brewster's Mil lions. ' ' February 24-27—Lombardi Grand Opera company. RED CROSS MONEY FOR ORPHANS American Society Sends $225,000 for Earthquake Sufferers. The American National Red Cross so ciety last Saturday cabled to Ambas sador Griscom at Rome $225,000, which he will present to Queen Helena for the purpose of establishing an agricul tural colony in Calabria or Sicily for the orphans in the Italian earthquake disaster. In all the Red Cross society has spent $841,740 in behalf of the ! earthquake sufferers. For the purpose of shipping lumber for houses for the earthquake sufferers the Red Cross has given $100,000 to the navy department. Robbed and Held Over Fire. Los Angeles, Cal.—Tramps to whom be applied for food robbed Mark Jor heh, a Slavonian laborer, and then held him on a fire with the intention of burning him to death recently, accord ing to his story. After taking his purse, containing about $50, they threw him on his back into their camp fire. They held him while the flames blis tered his back. Then they suddenly dashed away. Canadian Road Shops Resume. Winnipeg, Man.—The railways have given orders to start the Canadian Northern and Canadian Pacific shops immediately with increased staff, pre paratory to the biggest railroad year in western Canada's history. WAS GREETED HY SHIPS OF FLEET AT 6IBRALTER ALL NATIUNS. Flags and Band Playing by Men of Dif ferent Country's Navies Made Recep tion a Great Display—Vice Admiral Goodrich Overlooked Formalities and Visited Admiral Sperry First. Gibraltar, Spain, Feb. 1.—The first division of the United States Atlantic fleet, composed of the Connecticut, Ver mont, Kansas and Minnesota, under command of Rear Admiral Sperry, ar rived here Sunday from Villefranche Two barbette ships, the Albemarle th ° ^ lbioB > and the four ships of f h ° T A crulsers ' J ust t re ' l fron ' * S ° at \ Amancaa waters; S® ba T^vitch and Slava and tho protected cruisers Bogatyr and Oleg; the French gunboat Cassine and the D u tch gunboat Heim „i.i i • . ., ,, , ® , adal, lying inside the breakwaters with ab ° ard tbe Eussian warships uncovered sides manned, flags displayed and bands playing, greeted tho Americans as each in turn entered and was berthed. The American battleships responded with music, the band on the Connecticut playing the national anthem of each country. As they passed the jackies and stood with bared heads while the American bands rendered "God Save the Czar. ' ' Vice Admiral Sir James E. C. Good rich, the admiral commanding the naval establishment at Gibraltar, although Rear Admiral Sperry 's senior in rank, did not wait for the latter's visit, but immediately boarded the Connecticut to extend his greetings. The senior of ficers of. the warships followed suit and "vcio ua. tue waiBuiua xunuweu »uit ana later Rear Admiral Sperry returned the cal!s> going first to Admiralty house to re a vico Admiral Goodrich's cour . teav A t sundown the Georgia and Nebras ka , undor command of Bear Admiral Wainwright, arrived from Tangier, Five colliers and the Yankton are al ready here. Besides entertainments for the men to be arranged for the different crews, such as athletics, dinners and parties ashore and afloat for the officers, the functions will include a dinner to be given by the military governor, General Sir Frederick Forester-Walker, which will be followed by a ball at the as sembly rooms, arranged by Richard L. Sprague, the American consul, There will also be a big gymnastic tournament at which the American of fleers are expected to participate as competitors. The former sultan of Morocco, Abdul Aziz, passed the night on board the Georgia. It was the first time he was ever aboard a warship and his childish delight was amusing. The working of , the guns was explained to him through interpreters. Reception at Hampton Roads. The arrangement for the reception to the fleet on its return to Hampton roads has been completed. It practically re peats the program when the fleets started. President Roosevelt on the Mayflower, ancaored between the horseshoe and Bynnhaven bay, will review the fleet as lk P asses in at n0 on on February 22. Eear Admiral Sperry, the other com manders and executive officers will then g ° aboard the Mayflower to receive the P res ' on t 8 greeting, after which the P^ esi ® n > ,a turn, will visit the flagship °„ cac ivision an meet the assembled officers -- ------ i " 1 - : — —— Him to and six representative sailor men selected from the division. CARUSO "CAME THROUGH.' Noted Tenor Singer Denies Any Mar riage. New York, Jan. 30.—"A strange woman; a marvelous woman! I am much relieved that she has gone," said Enrico Caruso today when he learned that his lively inamorata, Mme. Ida La Giachetti, had skipped jauntily out of New York en route for Italy, just as she had skipped in two days previ ously. Last summer La Giachetti deserted the tenor in Italy and eloped with his chauffeur ard some $160,000 in jewels. Two days ago she came to New York with another man known as her "traveling companion," pounded on Caruso's door and demanded that he "fulfill some of his obligations." "She was never my wife. I have never been married," he said. "She is a remarkable woman." He would not say how much, if anything, it cost fulfill his obligations." Favor California Measure. Sacramento, Cal.—The assembly ju diciary committee, to which was re ferred A. M. Drew's anti-alien land bill prohibiting all aliens from holding land, but eliminating the clause object ed to by President Roosevelt as dis criminating against the Japanese, re ported the measure favorably on Tues day. Wind Moves Arkansas Church. Hot Springs, Ark.—The Third Bap tist church was lifted from its founda tion Saturday by the heavy wind and carried one block to the Central ave-1 nue entrance of the Oaklawn race track. A young theologian named Fiddle Refused to accept his degree; "For," said he, " 'tis enough to be Fiddle, Without being Fiddle D. D. " RETAIL DEALERS TO MEET. Annual Meeting of All in Inland Em pire to Gather at Spokane Feb ruary 9 to 11. Five hundred members of the Inland Empiro Retail Dealers' association in Washington and Idaho and visitors from various parts of the Pacific north west and California are expected at the annual meeting of the organization in Masonic Temple, Spokane, February 9 to 11, during the week of the Pure Food Show at the Washington state armory, February 8 to 13. Philip Carbary, secretary-treasurer of the association, announces also that in addition to the items on the formal pro gram there will be talks on the con servation of natural resources, the par cels post problem, good roads, irrigation, forestry, home-building, deep water ways, the development of inland water ways and the development of home in dustries. There will also be a meeting of the Inland Empire Retail Dealers' Mutual Fire Insurance association the morning of February 9, when J. C. Driscoll of Reardan, Wash., president of the or ganization, will deliver the annual ad dress. "This association will place itself on record as heartily favoring the efforts of the board of control, headed by R. Insinger, in making extensive arrange ments for the 17th National Irrigation Congress to meet in Spokane, August 9 to 14,." said Mr. Carbary. "Wo be lieve that this congress will be the means of demonstrating to the people will show to the visitors from tho mid die western, eastern and southern states the economic value of this vast devel opment. "We are also keenly interested in the encouragement of home industries and all matters tending to the improvement of business and conditions generali v. We are heartily in favor of the Pure Food Show, which gives promise of be ing among the best the northwest has ever seen. | "Wo have a strong program and we have been assured of large delegations from various parts of Washington and b „® tbat 71 .? b , al L!*M nd our jurisdiction at the annual meeting, but, of course, that is a matter to be de cided upon by the members them selves. ' ' Prices Paid at Spokane to Producers, Timothy hay, $16 ton; grain hay, $14 ton; alfalfa, $15 ton; oats, $1.55 cwt; feed wheat, $1.40 cwt; milling wheat, $1.68@1.70 cwt; wholo barley, $1.35 cwt; whole corn, old $1.50 cwt; new, $1.45 cwt. Hides—Green, 7c lb; green bulls, 5c lb; green calf, 10c lb; green kips, 7c lb > green salt kips, 8c lb; green salt bulls, 6c lb; green salt hides, 8c lb; dry butchered hides, good, 15c lb; dry country hides, good, 14c lb; wool, 8@ 12c lb; shearlings, 35@50c lb; city butchers steers, 50 lbs and up, 8c lb; wool, rough, 8@12c lb; long wool pelts, 8@10c lb. Livestock—Steers, live weight, 4%c lb; cows, live weight, 3^.@4c lb; sheop, live weight, 5%@6c lb; hogs, , E Ve weight, 6Vé@7c lb; veal, rough and heavy, 3@4M-c lb. Poultry—Live hens, ll@12c .lb; dressed hens, 12@12%c lb; live roos ters, 10c lb; spring chickens, dressed, I 14@15c lb; turkeys, live, 18@20c lb; | dressed, 21@24c lb; geese, 20@22c lb; ducks, live, 15c lb; dressed, 18c lb. Ranch Eggs Case, $12, case count; $11.90, oss off. Butter- Good ranch, 20c; butter fat, 36y 2 c lb; Davis butter, 35c lb. , Wheat Market. j Davenport, Wash.—Bluestem, 91c; club 78c. Walla Walla—Bluestem, 91@92c; club, 81@82c f. o. b. cars. I Tacoma.—Milling bluestem, $1.05; ' oxport bluestem, 95c; club, 90c; red, gg c _ Portland.—Track prices: Cash, 94c; bluestem, $1.06; turkey red, 95c; red Russian, 90c; valley, 95c. OTHER MARKETS. Dispatches concerning market quota tions, conditions and phases are as fol lows: Chicago. Flour—Firm. Wheat—No. 2 spring, $1.08@1.10; No. 3, $1.03@1.09 1-2; No. 2 red, $1.06 1-2@1.07. Corn—No. 2, 60 l-8@60 l-2c; No. 2 yellow, 60 l-2@61c. Oats—No. 3 white, 50@52c. Rye—No. 2, 76c. j ng) ' ^772 !-2@1.75. Barley—Feed, Barley Good feeding, 60c; fair to choice malting, 61@64c. 1 $1 60 i- 8 <f B ° n0r 1WeS ern ' Timothy seed—Prime, $3.80@3.85. j Clover—Contract grades, $9.15. I Short ribs, sides—Loose, $8.37 l-2@ 8.75. . Mess pork Per bbl., $17@17.12 1-2. Lard—Per 100 lbs., $9.60. Short clear sides—Boxed, $8.871-2 (a) g 12 1-2 1 Cattle—Best, steady; others weak. Beeves, $4.20@7.20; Texans, $4.20@5; westerns, $3.90@5.60; stockers and feeders, $3.25@4.50; eows and heifers,! $1.85@5.60; calves, $5.50@8. Hogs Market 5c lower. Light, $5.50 @6.15; mixed, $5775@6.40; heavy, $5.80 @6.40; rough, $5.80@5.95; good to choice, $5.95@6.40; pigs, $4.60@5.50; bulk of sales, $6@6.30. Sheep—Market weak to 10e lower, Natives, $3.40@5.75; westerns, $3.40@ 5.75; yearlings^ $5.90@7; lambs, na tives, ' $5.50@7.75; lambs, westerns, $5.50@7.75. San Francisco. Wheat—Shippinfi $1.70@1.75; mill-1 ...g, $1.72 1-2@1.75. Barley—Feed, $1.40 @ 1.43 3*4; brewing, $1.45@1.47 1-2. Oats—Red, $1.65@2.10; white, $1.70@ 1 ' 8 »r'-.i b ! a< £' $?;25@2.60. Millstuffs—Bran $28.50@30.00; mid ... - r, st: n - m dlings, $33.50@35.50. Hay—Wheat, $19@23; wheat and oats, $18@22; alfalfa, $15@18.50; stock, $13@16; straw, per bale, 50@ 85c. ~ 1 -C l T '" <r. r,d " kee P uien out of P rlson > whi,e the P° or ^ave 1° suffer the full rigor of the law, has had a number of severe jolts re cently. The long line of men In high positions and seemingly the possessors of vast wealth who have violated the law> been detected> tried and now are , , * , . . " nd ^ oln * P»» shn.ont a ■tron* In dlcatIon that the millennium of equal justice has at last dawned, | In the consideration of such Instances of this nature as that most recent one In Chicago, Peter Van Vllssingen, and c. W. Morse In New York, a prominent feature is the fact that, while reput edly wealthy, when the bubble burst the millions they were supposed to have owned were found never to have existed, or, If they did exist, to have been of paper, tho fictitious value of which wns demonstrated when the first winds of adversity struck the fragile Affluent. In the case of Van Vllssingen, like that of Paul O. Stensland, whose ca reer as a forger was so nearly parallel to that confessed by the Chicago real estate man, conviction was swift and sure. Stensland staved it off for a time by becoming a fugitive, but found that the law was Inexorable. When he was arraigned he pleaded guilty and asked the privilege of beginning his sentence with the least possible delay, To-day he wears the prison gray unl form of the good conduct convict at Joliet prison, the same as does the poorest criminal in the penal lnstitu tion. For him, too, the rule of silence Is enforced as completely as it Is In the case of the most obscure thug or cheap thief who Is his companion In ignominy. I Fate of Von Vllaxlngen | To tho Mnie fate Van vllssingen wag sentenced after a trial lasting little longer than a „ hour . No abJect , y man cou i d ba ve bad a more speedy con viction than has this man who, suppos wea ]thy, found himself ln such a , p^ti™ that he was able to steal the j vast sum of more than $1,000,000 from P^P* 6 w ^ 0 trusted him as much be cause they thought him beyond the necesslt y of peculation as for any other I veu® 0 " ' course, the cases of Van Vllssln gen and Stensland are not true exam pies of the alleged condition against whlcü ®°ct a BBt 8 and others who harp C° ntinu ally on the favpr^ of the rich and the troubles of the poor complain. When they were finally discovered In their crime neither put up a fight. In reality their fortunes were such bub bles that when the denouement came they vanished Into nothingness. A somewhat similar condition con fronted George it. MeReynolds, the for mer grain broker and warehouse man convicted for defrauding banks by means of fictitious warehouse receipts. MeReynolds, however, put up a hard legal fight extending over a number of months. The highest courts were In voked In an effort to have him his 11b er ty, but, despite sufficient money to 1 ^ aU legal ald po8fjlble and tfae ' P owerfu l influence of the friends he j had made ln hl ® affluent da y® when he I was rated a millionaire, he had to go to prison and don the hated gray unl . form, Newton C. Daugherty, the embezzling Peoria educator, had short shrift, al .. . „ . . . . , 1 "eus 11 an effort was made to save him * be disgrace of going to prison. But It was unavailing, as have been efforts made since to have him pardoned, John A. Cooke, the Chicago pollti clan, reputed to have amassed a 00 m fortable fortune through his connec j.j on w j tb politics for years, fought as nossiblv who ever " ara " S any man ' I ,osslül y' eyeT went to prison. Not only his own mean#, but millions of dollars of the money of his wealthy associates, were at his disposal, and used lavishly. But neither that nor political "pull" saved him. 9tor>e Not Saved by Riches. The Morse ease ln New York Is an other example of the luexorableness of j a ^yg made for the government of rich and poor a ]|] Je Dealing In millions, the i ee k| ng had transgressed the laws at , , ., . . ,, times when In his arrogance he believed , , .. .. , ... himself stronger than the law. His hard-fought trial, only recently finish ed. which resulted in his being sen I tenced to prison for fifteen year*!, which ln his case amounts practically to life, and the refusal of the court to admit him to ball, have placed him securely behind prison bars, while his lawyer» still nre seeking legal loophole» through which their client may escape. The cases of former Mayor Eugene A. Schmitz of San Francisco and Abra ham Reuf, the wealthy and Influential political boss of the western city, are fresh ln the public mind by reason of the attempted assassination of Prose cutor Heney, who has been the nemeals of the grafters of the western ooast Once Schmitz and Reuf were sentenced and actually served several months ln prison. Then they were released on a technicality, but the law is pursuing: them more vengefully now than ever, and Ruef was at liberty when Heney was shot only because of his ability to furnish $1,600,000 bnll. I The case of Harry K. Thaw, who killed Stanford White, Is probably the hardest contested ln which the wealth of the crlmlnnl played an Important part, ln the annals of the country. But even ln the Thaw case It Is possi ble that his wealth has been agalnat him. At any rate, had it not been for the Thaw millions he would either have been acquitted or convicted promptly, without all the bnrrowing suspense, and the expenditure of a million dol lars, that has not etert resulted In giv ing him his liberty. His wealth made It possible for him to be branded as ln Bane. It saved him from the electric chair, but had he been very ;>oor the circumstances lending up to the crime probably would bave caused a jury to be merciful. v In this connection the human sym pathy which normal beings feel Is found more correctly the cause of biased verdicts. In the case of men who have occupied high and respècted positions In a community, the judge and the Jury cannot help remembering the man's former estate, similar to what they themselves are enjoying, his wdfe and his children. If he has them, and most such criminals have: The "put yourself In his place" Idea 1» strong, and shrewd lawyers take pains to develop 'It. But sympathy benefits the rich no more than the poor, except as It may be manufactured by money. The case of Johann Hoch, the wife murderer, and Bill Ik, whose cose has been In all the courts of the country, although he had no money, refutes the charge that It Is only the rich who can Invoke all the machinery of the law In their aid. General Charles W. Russell, assist ant attorney general of the United States, declares that It lsabsurd to exy that wealth prevents prosecution, or, ln general, convictions. He refers to the work of Bank Examiner Moxey. who appeared as the principal witness for the prosecution ln the Morse trial and who has the reputation of having sent thirty-three wealthy and so-called respectable men to Jail. But money helps. General Rnssell admits. "The whole thing Is analogous to th# care of a sick poor man and a sick rich man," he said In a recent Inter view. "The rich Invalid can hire the best doctors; he can take all the time that Is necessary to get well ; he can avail himself of proper climate and environment, and It's a matter of com mon sense that he stands a better show of recovery than the other fellow. Just so with poor criminals and rich crim inals. The rich one's chances for ac quittal are better because hé can afford to fight longer."—Chicago Record-Her ald. Explained at L,aat. "The late Dr. Morgan Dix," said s clergyman of New York, had a droll way of lightening grave subjects with little humorous asides. Once I beard him addressing a graduating class at a medical school. He began ln thia way: "'Physiologists tell us, gentlemen, that the older a man grows the smaller his brain becomes. This explains why the old man knows nothing and the young one everything.' " Far Fields Are Greener. A boy always brags of what he will do when he's a man. And when he becomes a man he al ways boasts of what be did when hs was a boy.—Pick-Me-Up