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STDRIES4&f 1 AMERI C Why Akron Police Sergeant Is Somewhat Peeved AKRON.--Being naturally good natured and easy going, Polie Sergeant F. P. McAIllster seldom harbors a grudge against anyone. But there's a limit to all things. The sergeant was made the victim of a practical joke by someone and he is angered. McAllis ter was sitting down at police head CH'. 1 quarters taking n little r(est after a t6O Vi.* long rush of sending the police emer * gency after Thanksgiins; eve celebra tors. when suddenly th teltlphone Jan gled. As McAllister answered it. some one inf.rnmed him there was i lig mur der in one of the downtown hotels. "They're trying to cover It up." the voice continued. "You better get men down there to see what's going on." The Informer spoke in such a truthful voice that the sergeant was convinced. Sending out a general call for police men to hurry to the hotel, McAllister slipped into his coat and, leaving the office in the hands of an assistant, hurried to join them. As he rushed there he saw policemen coming from all directions, breathless from the pauce they had been traveling. "Surround the hotel here," McAllister hoarsely whispered to them. "There's a murder there and they're trying to sneak the body out without anyone seeing." A cordon was quickly drawn. From all sides the policemen quickly closed In. Finally, with a rush, they entered the hotel, from the rear and front doors simultaneously. "Where's the body?" they demanded. "Body?" the clerk repeated, eyes blinking In astonishment, "what body?" Finally, after close questioning, the story came out. A drunken man had been taken from the hotel an hour or so before who could hardly walk. Two men carried him to the open air, where he quickly revived and staggered away. Sheepishly the policemen filed out, Sergeant McAllister saying things under his breath. Now Nobody Whispers "Bath" in Cop's Presence CHICAGO.-A while back n pickpocket nicked a watch off of Detective Ser geant Vincent Skiba of the South Chicago police station on board of a street car. That isn't nothing. Listen. Yesterday Vlnce was to church with his mlmus and afterwards they went home, and Vince says: l WISH I NAp "I guess I'll take a bath," be says CROOK / and he took his clothes off of him and pg/i ºM turned on the water. But he didn't t take no bath because when he stuck his finger In the water it was too cold . to take a bath In, the lucky stiff. Then his missus said she had to go back to the church for the main serv ices and Vince says: "All right, that's ' right in my kitchen. ill go over to the station and take me a shower bath." So he went over to the station and upstairs into the squad room and took his clothes off from him once more and laid them down somewheres. Pretty soon, down in the front office, Desk Sergeant Berry heard the blamedest yell in his life and he reached for his smoke wagon and looked up the stairway. There was Vince, and he certainly should be ashamed of him self. He looked like he was just out of everything, including hopes. "What's a biting of you?" says Berry. "Somebody's pinched my clothes," says Vince. So Berry he sent the patrol wagon to get some more clothes from Vince's house so as Vince wouldn't shame the whole police force, but when the wagon got there the missus was still in church and so Vince had to set like a dying gladiator on a radiator with a telephone directory between him and the radia tor, else he would of been corrugated with a tin roof, until the missus fetched him some clothes. Pretty hard luck, hey? Sudden Check - to Adventurer's Stormy Career B ROOKLYN.-It would seem to the normal citizen that any fairly youngish man who had found time to serve dik dik chops, hippopota'tus tenderloin and springbok tall soup at a Beta Theta Pi spread in Manhattan, and fur ther had served as a Boer spy in the South African war, had been sentenced to a 21-year term by the British In con sequence when caught, had escaped and gone straight into service in the Russian-Japanese war, later followed Roosevelt into South America to take , Imovies of the colonel, had stayed le hind until injured in a fight with In dians on the lolivia frontier, had Sweathered a storm of bricklats aimed at him during the street railway strikes In Jamaica In 1912. had Well, it would seem to normal man that such a soldier of fortune could get all mixed up with a Brooklyn warehouse without fear of serious consequences. Nevertheless, the charge laid against Captain Duquesne by the police is that he presented a false claim for $38,000 on a fire Insurance policy. The captanla's plilm, the police msay, was that a lot of movie films of South American scenes, Ia whiMch he was interested, were destroyed by a fire in the Brooklyn warehouse en December 6 a year ago. Disloyalty Sharply Scored by Los Angeles Justice L08 ANGELES.-Denouncing the three paclfast-Rev. Floyd Hardin, IRev. Robert Whltaker and Harold Storey-Judge Thomas P. White sentenced them to jail and added a $1200 fine to each sentence. The men were convicted oen three counts each. On the inrst two eaounts they were sentenced to six months in jeail each, and on the third " JilOGN I'" to 90 days each. the sentences to ran OgPII esoncrrently. FiPfteen days was al- WdV towed them in which to appeal to the 8Spreme court for a new trial, and hail was 8fxed at 2.500 each. The court e was placed under guard of police cers whble Judge White handed his declison. Ughty 0. A. a vet crowded the courtroom, while the crowd ovrwod to the WtdewaL~ d Addreg the dfndant Ju White mid: "You cuast aspersions upon the preseldent of the United State. vtilously expresslng opposition to the draft .law, and gave comfort to the enemy. I have no hesitation In saying to you that the dctrline you have been preachlag would gratify the Germans, but Amerl ma patriotm is on guard. "We, the people tof L Angeles, will tolerate no disloyalty to the gover, Flaming-Headed Office Boys in Lively Demand yBW YORK.-There is a superstition in New York office buildings that the sred-heded ofce boy is the most intelligent of all the bean-shooting pests. A boy who has a red head and a face sprinkled with freckles is always sure to land a job telling callers that the boss is out or in-depending upon the * Yk 0 lfr caliber of the caller. gIST fER lIS - It seems to be stylish to have red j ggj5f . headed office boys. A reporter with an * -- m( Inquiring mind visited two of the lurg met offce buildings in town and discov . aered that more than half were red headed boys and three out of every five wore green ties. Three years ago a boy working in an oIce could only make $4 a week and what stamps he coeld swipe. About $1 of this generally went for car fare. for It is a trait of the average eee boy to live as far away from the *lce as pomlble. Otherwise he might be able to came to work o time now and the. But to oer an aee boy $4 a week just new would be encouraging him S iW r tight in fyour ae Any eMee boy, keok-kneed or with warts, an desd $8 a we and get it. And if has a red headhb can get $1 and eon #i2 a week. Iamel tally the New York ole hae wields us much power as many aute djet It i up to Mn whether or nt ye can see the an you want to s \k bs a 5ember Ia town who leet the higgest ord of ass carw erougeh hae of h hSa at~the nter'as. -i - C, -' ·k~s';i ~ ·~· -~ 21 BILLION IS VALUE OF U. S. CROPS THIS YEAR Nearly 1,000,000,000 Bushels More Grain Was Raised Than in 1916. CORN LEADS ALL THE REST Production of Grain and Other Farm Products Far Exceeds Any Other Year in History of Country Weather Ruins Flax. Washington. - Farmers contributed approximately $21,4$10.000,000 to the wealth of the nation this year in the production of grain and other farm products, far exceeding any other year in the history of the country. Of this immense total the corn crop leads with an estimated value of $4,053.0'2,000. The oats crop is valued at $1,061,427, 000; wheat at $848,372,000. and pota toes at $543.865,000. Final report on the crops has Just been issued by the department of ag riculture, and it showed that with the exception of wheat the leading grains established records in production. A big wheat area was planted, but severe winter killing cut down the crop heav ily. Cotton was caught by an early frost and suffered a sensational loss of approximately 1,000,000 bales from early estimates. A late season and early frosts hurt the corn crop, but more in point of quality than quantity, and there is more soft corn in the country this year than ever before. 1,000,000,000 Bushels in Excess. Nearly 1,000,000,000 bushels more grain was raised than in 1910. The final estimate shows a total production of 5,006,728,000 bushels of the five leading grains. This compares with 4,686,253,000 bushels last year, and is close to the record aggregate produc tion in 1915. The total wheat yield Is given as 350,828,000 bushels, compared with 336,318,000 bushel& last year, and 806, 961,000 bushels, the 1911-15 average. "Corn production is estimated at 3,159,494.000 bushels, about 31,000,000 bushels under the preliminary figure and compared with 2,566.927,000 bush els raised in 1916. The five-year aver age was 2,754,164,000 bushels and the previous bumnper crop in 1912 was .,124,740.000 bushels. The yield of oats was also a record GERMAN AGENTS START FOOD SHORTAGE SCARE Washington.--The work of German agents among house wives to cause a disruption in the markets of household neces sities and incite a discontent with war conditions has caused a false shortage in some places in commodities that really are to be had in plenty. The national food administra tlon, commentlg on the reports of three successive buying drives by housewives throughout the the country on salt, laundry blue hnd matches, says there is no lack of these commodities among small retailers by the excessive buying, that the national stock is as large as ever, with no pos sible likelihood of shortage with a normal denmand from the con sumer. The housewife is warned to disregard rumors and not to overstock, as such unnecessary buying may cause real shortages for a short time in certain lo calities. ROY GOT HIS DESIRED RAISIN COOKIES Naval Paymaster Helps Out Grandmother in Distress. She Stole Away From Home to Take Boy Goodies and Was Barred by the Guard. Great Lakes. Il.--One morning an I old-fashioned grandmother from Chi-. cago carefully climbed off a train at Great Lakes. She might have stepped I from the daguerrotype pletorial page I of an old magasine. A black bonnet I crowned her silver hair and was tied with black rlbboas under her chin. I She gripped a lale paper bag. The guard stopped her. "You can't come in today," he told t her. "Wednesday is visitors' day." Her I eyes filled with tears. "But Roy Is go. I lag to s today," she said. "I came to 0 give Roy his cookies. I had to run away from home to get here. My I AMERICAN BABIES ARE IN NEED OF MILK Without It Growth Ceases and Health Is Impaired. United States Childrens Bureau Sees Danger in Situation Caueed by High Prices. Washlngton.-Tbe news that many Amerlcan babies are now going with out milk because of Its high price In a matter of grave alarm to the United States children's bureau. "Milk Is one food that all young children must have if they are to be strong sad healthy." the bureau warns. "Whaee milk Is rich in the elements without which the child's growth mees a4d his health Is Imhpred; Ia. es*, t sIs t which as sap one and is given as 1,587.26.000 bush els, compared with 1,251,837,00U bush els last year. The five-year average was 1.230.490,000 bushels. Production of rye is placed at 60. 145.000 bushels, against 4S,SG'2.00' bushels last year and five-year aver age of 41,399,000 bushels. The barley crop is finally estimanted at 2iS.97..I: ) bushels. against 182,309. 1000 bushels last year. The uinper potato crop is main tained In the final report: in fact the figure of 4412,33C;,W10 lewle.ls is a little in excess of the prellmina:ry estinat and compares \\ith 2SA,D53,t5K0 bushel last year. Weather Ruins Flax. Unfavnor:tble wenlther conditions ru ined the flax crop and the yield is esti mated at only 5.473.0I0) bushels. against 14. 21.(MM) bushels last year. I'roduc tion of hay was 79.528.0(1) tons of tanme and 15.402_.000 tons of wild, compared with 91.192.(K00 tons and 19,800,00(x tons respectively last year. The rice crop totaled 30.278,000 bushels. against 41,982,000 bushels last year. Buck wheat production was 17,460,000 bush els, compared with 11,840,000 bushel, in 1916. The kaffir corn crop was 75. 866,000 bushels, against 50,340,008 bushels last year. Following shows area, yield per acre and production In bushels of the lead. Ing crops: Yield per Area. acre. Production. Winter wheat.... 27,430.000 15.2 418.070,00 Spring wheat..... 18.511,000 12.6 232,758.,00( Corn ...........119.755,000 26.4 3.159,494,00 Oats ........... 43,5712.000 36.4 1,587,286.00 Rye ............... 4.102,000 14.7 00,145,00 Barley ............ 8.835.000 23.7 308.975,00( Kaffir corn ...... 6.153.000 14.7 75.866.00( Potatoes .......... 4,490,000 100.8 442,336.00( Sweet potatoes... 963,000 91.4 87,141.00 Hay, tame ....... 53,616,000 1.49 79.528.00( Hay, wild ........ 16,472.000 .94 *15,402,00! Flaxseed ......... 1,809,000 4.7 8,473,00( 'Tons. Cotton production this year Is est!. mated at 10,949,000 equivalent 500' nound bales. Tobacco yield is given as L1116.451.000 pounds; sugar beets, (K237,000 tons; beans, 15,701,000 pounds; onions. 13,544.000 bushels, and cabbage, 502,700 tons. The apple crop was 58,203.000 bar rels: peaches, 45,066,000 barrels; pears, 13,281,000 bushels; cranberries. 245.000 barrels, and oranges, 12,832,000 boxes, COMFORT IN NATIONAL ARMY BARRACKS music. -4 r·~~~:l~~~~B ~~~ I :~i0:: 4:... i 'I. The atInal rmys "ingl mc inbarrcks don fid wntryday an nighs unleaant o lng u thy ba e lttes frm hwe, ewsaper an music.~· daughter won't let me go out of the house much. She thinks I am too old." She took a letter from a handbag. It was from Roy and it read in part: "Grandmother: I leave for sea on Friday and all that I lack to make me happy is some of your raisin cook ies. The food here is good, but I had to leave without again tasting the cookies that I loved so much." "I baked cookies for that boy since be was big enough to eat them, and he always had my cookies until he en listed," she resumed. "His mother is dead. He is in Camp Ross. I must see him before he goes away." The guard was iron. Paymaster J. D. Doyle Is a busy man. But Paymaster Doyle was not too busy to stop and hear her story. He is not a. young man and his hair is gray, but he likes raisin cookies and has a heart as big as the admlnistrs tion building. milk In the diet of babies and .young children." Undernourishment. especially In childhood, is the basis of many evils. Sometimes when the brain cells are starved it results in feebleminded ness; It is conducive to tuberculosis. to weak muscles and weak character. It is the leading cause of lnemdeency. Occasionally the absence of milk is dub to ignorance-the family fails to realise its importance in the Infant's diet. Usually the family simply can't afford It. Wages are higher, but the price of foodstuffs manage to keep a little ahead of them. Few workmen, even earning a comparatively high wag, can afford to pay $7 a month for milk for four chlldren. Yet PS would buy only a plat of milk a day fer each of these cYidre rader these circmstances chld welfre workers are hoping that the r--imment itsel wit step ln sd me FRANCE'S AVIATION ARTIST . . M. Henri Farro, official aviation ar tist of the French government, who has brought to this country a remarkable collection of paintings, depicting the aerial battles over the firing line and incidents of aviation life high in the clouds. As machine gun observer he took part In many of the encounters he so graphically portrays on, his can vasses. Arrangements are being made to exhibit this notable collection in the principal cities of the United States under the auspices of the Aerial Club of America. Curiosity Aids Red Cross. London.-A farmer in a village in southeast England raised $1,000 for the Red Cross through the agency of a Zeppelin bomb which fell in one of his fields. Thoupands of people came from nearby towns to see the crater, which is described as "big enough to put a house in." The farmer charged each visitor a small admission fee and turned the proceeds over to the local Red Cross. He heard her story, heard that her daughter would not let her bake the cookies, heard how she had waited un til the daughter had gone shopping and then mixed the butter and don I e the goodies to a perfect brown. This a morning she had stolen away 6 He helped her into his car and t whisked her to Camp Ross. He found I Roy for her and saw her weep for joy I a on Roy's blue jacketed shoulder. He t e ate one of the cookles. Grandmother e and grandson visited and said good-by. I Mr. Doyle took her back to the de- I * pot, helped her on a Chicago train, and b returned to his neglected work. He c a was tickled as a kid. t I "love, she loved that boy," he said a Sas he smacked his lps. t U I t Camps for Homelessa Washlngton.-Among the largest of e war relief work benlg carried on at r I the present time are camps for home t less thousands of persons in and t around 8aloniki. which were started by r . Dr. Edward W. Ryan, head of the I I American Red Cross in that region. t There are 70,000 sufferers camping out t in the tents which have been set up. I that American babies and children re celve the proper amount of milk. Amer clan men are leaving by the thousands to fight and protect their women and - children, but of what avail it if in the meantime the children are allowed to starve at home? Metal Coffins In Junk. Orass Valley, Cal.-A stack of old e metal coffins that have not seen the " light of day for many years adorn a 6 vacant lot adjoining the business por. tlon of the city that s used as a Jpn ard. These gruesome specters lying * about on the ground have been the cause of a great deal of interest, One 4 * of these is a bronze affair that is worth t several times as much for junk now as it cost when new 80 years agog Decks German Carp With Fla. Sioux Qty, ln.-When the patriotism of Chris Roumelote, a Greek restan. i rateur here, was questioned because I of his window display of Getman carp, Chris, who Is a veteran dt Balkas I wars, 'rapped a small American flag I around each fish. The apparent adver. Stflag value of his wiadew display was a I Imendiat d-ablet a Officials Have a Word to Say About K 5ASIN;TON.-Girls! Drop n stitch and thinuk t' y,". of AI leriean is knitting. but is knitting th.l I 'st thlll: )n,, do f country in the prose.(cution tof tlhis .gr t world 11r? i. g is just as in the :r W : t4 as it i I else. ILut it is . iiu- II lilt No < /TNiS lS SO Sdadm' Of i it Tirrnv ti. In hs . GOO THAT pl ce. h', th ltn-i tlu of girls - "FOR tbome it .... . i h -h.nstic with - M knitting. S 11111 I that t" " foI iltie elirs tiruugu,' those buildings "l here ,atr.l can be t iand sees tbhr,oIs of girls itq typewriters anll desks knlttl the stuii ell tllll 11 th. t overnmeot I Ing out an urgent aippeal for clerical help in the dielintrtnments. Knittlng has almost disrupted the effticiency of sle oif the gov departments. Military alnd naval ofticiials d1 not look 'ipon the kalttlni entire approval. Secretary of War Itaker has taken occasioln to make tial remarks about the practice in publih'. It is clailued here that the age of swenters and wristlets which reach the boys in active service is Either this Is because the knitters keep their work, once finished, r of some irregularity and lack of system of distribution. At any rate, yeomen, permanently stationed in Washington, where there are no winds, were found strutting about clad in sweaters knitted by kind hans Are you using all your wool to a good aldvantnage? Ito you ever IM handiwork too good to be sent away, and keep it yourself as an added b necessary garment? Knit on, girls, but he sure you are right. Don't waste your time d with knitting when you might be in the kitchen outting down the tfe sumption, or In Red Cross headquarters making bandages. Be sure you are right, then knit ahead. Government Printing Office Needs More URGENT need for a new buildling for the government printing oaee i approximately $2,2.000W) and to be located adjoining the present North Capitol and II Streets. is emphasized by Cornelius Ford, the rille er, in his annual report to congress. The report sets forth that the amount of printing and binding produced dur ing the fiscal year 1917 far exceeded that of any previous year. A large portion of this increase was during the last quarter due to preparedness and war activities. The lack of space to handle prop erly this rush order of war work is not the only reason for the public printer's urging a new building. Hie renews a recommendation made last year and points out that even for normal work the present structure is inadeti says: "P'rinting and binding for 1917 exceeded that of 1916 by oevi cent, and it can readily be seen that if an urgent necessity for mera space existed in 1916. the demand for more room at tll s time ilI a tive one. "Halls and passageways are now used for storing signatures, sad k cases presses have hbee(n stolPd on certlin work becaluse the binderylt divisiotns through which the Jlobs mlust progr4e,.ss could ;lot at once aeet work by reason of lack of space. In ordlir to carry on 'he work at di betn necessary to use the old building for both storage and prodalha' War Has Not Extinguished All Sense of T HE senators and representatives are back in town for the biggest congress perhaps that this country has ever seen. One and all thq termined to back the president. They are back, and they are back l These are serious days, big dl44 Wg., that in years to come will be OT T C as epochal days. In the history books al S /of are the big events. Gettnlg p. - morning, eating breakfast gui ing off to work never get late tory books. But it is net lt our day-by-day life. -ems congressnienl are still fiadlg relish all the fun that crops *g . Truly, we need all- h we've got in war time. It I enough business without making it any more serious than we hbae 4 dent Wilson finishes sentences that way!) Humor lightens the pal . One representative I know htas a sense of humor as big as his kindly heart, lie asked mIe not to mention his name in connectle - recital, because he is teider respecting the feelings of "the foilb Those constituents of his hate sham andl pretense of all sorts. 'I1 affectation so much that sormetimes--qulte often, in fact-they pie are "putting on" when they are not. Some woman, moved away from the old town to a big city, tfe will come home on a visit one day. She will be well dressed. The the town will look her over and say: "Doesn't she think she's smart !" Poor lady! That's the last thing she thinks she is. She has city and knows she is not particularly "smart." But those "hoe better. National Capital Has Become Great War fl' NE cannot appreciante the things the government Is doing nla She comes to Washington," remarked J. R11. Jackson of Detroit, lard. "If there is activity in other cities, It amounts to almost II _ ington. One observes this more par tlcularly about the hotels, where everything is confusion. "Everybody who comes to Wash ington, of course, has some sort of business with the government, and all connected with the war. Traveling on the trains that go through this city one meets all sorts of men, represen tatives of all sorts of business, and all have somne objective that has to do with getting a contract or doing buso neas In some manner with the governa meant. If the people of every little town and hamlet could gth Washington in these days, they would come to a sudden that Uncle Sam means bulneas, and that he has gone into tis until the finish. The pacifists, I imagine, if they could stay hl for a few days, would see the futntility of their cause. Likewibs, the German people cotld see what is going on in Washlnton be lulled Into sleep by the siren voice of the Prussian what is keeping the German people in line." Found Opponent Short on Style but Long OMMIIIISSIONER GARDINER is having more fun out of the jleb of the three "governors" of the national capital than any ever held the office, I believe. It is a pleamsre to see and ls5tes * seems to enjoy and re is doing. i 10 wcs, lr He has an Informal a~ur a ing to citizens' as. Ihi MPalS- making quite a hit arold the members of the tions. For instance, at a Columbia Heights a er night the commissiaOs Swhen he was a young agU went out on one of his 8i5 Judge Bundy, who t - dience, was the magistrate who heard that case. The judge had a face all the time Commissioner Gardiner was telling of bygone dat_ "Judge Bundy had an offiee on Fifth street then," said Mr. I came around all prepared to win my case. I had on good dlbI trousers were creased both front and back, and I had three Wi tought I was going to win easily. "The opposinlg ounel came In after a while. He wasn't at all be carried no law books." The commissioner grinned. "I found out afterward that Mhis peculiarlty was that he nevfr salt and he always wore a somewhat soilled collar." The co amla "But he certanly knew hlaw"