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.THE LAFAYETTE GAZETTE -I. "LAFAYETTE, LA., SATURDAY, MAY 6, 1803. NUMBER 9. '1Uir Iift E St· [opyrigh, 1e9, by the Author.] RS. LAVINA ALGAR leaned back on a can *as chair under the Branch Bank ver anda one warm, Australians night about the end of .December, with the iull moonlight playing upon and spir ituallsiae her delicate beauty, and makihg a silver halo round the outer edges of her fragrant and massy golden hair; while Reginald Cleaver, the new cashier, lpoked. down upon that radianatvision of dainty and per fumed womlanhood with a great deal more of warmth and enthusiasm than perhaps Mr. Algar, the staid bank manager and husband of the beauty, might have cared to encourage had he observed it. lint as at the moment he was engaged elsewhere the young nfan could be as daring as he. well pleased to be, so long as the object of his pres ent enthusiasm dlid not object. -JThey had known each other for four weeks and a half now-ever since he had been appointed to his post; and as his duties were pretty light in this up country branch established the weeks bad been spent, with only the neces sary daily breaks, almost entirely in the young lady's charming society. So that being Australian born and bred Mrs. Algar had grown very familiar with her gentlemanly lodger, and spoke to him as if she had known him from the days of his early childhood; that is to say, they had long ago dis pensed with all starchy formalities in addressing one another, and called each other by their Christian names of "Reginald" and "Lavina" which sound ed much freer and heartier than Mr. Cleaver and Mrs. Algar. When John Aligar was present it was Reginald, or Lavina; but tete-a-tete, as they were on this night, he called her by the pet name she had given herself, which was Nina, as she called him Volto, so that they might have some thing different to what the rest of the world knew them by. It was foolish, no doubt, yet innocent enough as far as it went--as was her habit of calling her husband "Bruno," behind his back -common enough also with young la dies who haven't much to occupy their minds in their intercourse with young gentlemen friends. John Algar, the bank manager, was an angular, loud-voiced, consequential man of about fifty---gray-haired and bearded, with small, keen, gray eyes that generally impressed people with his business acumen. lie hadn't a very agreeable manner-these strident, bom bastic and argumentative men sel dome have-and for that reason cus tomers trusted him all the more, and considered him the right man for the place. It is astonishing how much these socially uncomfortable men im press the world with their honesty. "Reginald or "Volto" Cleaver was one of those carefully-groomed young men who look well under any circum sttnces, with prettily-trained mus tache, slender white hands and modu lated voice; one of the young gentle men who are turned out wholesale from nature's modern jerry workshop, who look as harmless about a drating -room as tame cats, and are as neces sary to the idle fair sex as a three-vol umed romance of fashionable life. Mrs. Lavina was twenty-three, that is twenty-seven years younger than her husband, and the most accomplished and lady-like female in the township. She always had her costumes direct from London, and as up to date as possible; she was very slender, very fair, and took great care of her complexion, so that Volto almost forgot when he saw her first that he was six weeks' distance from home; and since she had exhibit ed those colonial arts and graces, so much less formal than tl-e home airs, he had lost all desire ever to again in hale the yellow fogs and felt that Aus tralia was quite good enough 'for him. In fact, for the first time in his young life, he felt that existence along with Nina would be delightful anywhere, and found himself so much engrossed with her'that he forgot to think at all about himself. This was the state of affairs on this moonlight night, with that green ex panse of bush and ocean stretching in front of them, over which her limpid, gray-green eyes looked dreamily, while he stood, his face in the shadow, watch ing her intently. He had come out to smoke a cigar after dinner, and she had come to keep him company while Bruno was, as usual, in the office at tending to business; all according to mature's laws-youth in the moonlight and middle age at the coffer. "What is wrong with you to-night. Volto? You are very silent, and have not lit your cigar yet," observed the lady, as she turned her large eyes from the landscape to that shadow face, speaking in the soft, tender tones which seem to mean so much more than is 1 uttered. "I was thinking, Nina," replied the young man, with a heavy sigh. "About what?" "The moonlight and-you." "Yesl" murmured the lady. echoing his sigh. "It is lovely, is it not?-the moonlight, I mean." "And you?" "Hush! or Bruno may hear you." "Then let us go into the garden, Nina, for I have a lot to say to you." Mrs. Algar took up alittle lace shawl from the ground where she had thrown it, and drawing it over her slender shoulders she raised herself with a gracefnl movement, and taking his arm she went with him down the veranda steps and into the shadows of the trees bayond. As they did so, John Algar came from the French door of the din ing-room, looked after them for a mo ment or two, and then with a grunt went back again to his work. For the next half-hopr the murmur of their esbda~d ~'oleda came wafting in with the plrfue f the exotics, a larg 'spider compteted'the web he had begun before they left and which, ere they could enter agai| they would have to break through, for he had bar ricaded the doorway, ,na as the dew fell upon his web it looked like a close curtain of- silver and gems. Inside the bank the manager had also completed the task which had occupied him for several of the nights the young couple had.been. senM.meantsMing out side, and had carefully replaced the ca ier's key to hisroom, after locking the desk where he kept his set of book,. ,_ delicate task Mr. Algar had bh i p , wfhich required a pmal.bottle acid and d deal of -praeoffe of 2eginaaid's: ]w ritina, hownv4, it at last airyj~eaatly ac complished, and the manager reap pqayed again at the veranda and called out with those strident, hon est tones of hIis: - "Where ar6 yop,. Lad~ing? '" "'Here, John!" came back the liquid accents of his youthful spouse. "All right, dear, don't disturb your self: I am going into the town for a little while, but, I'll be back for sup per." As John Algar wait out the back way, "Nina" and "Volto" returned by the front, and, after ruthlessly demol ishing that foolish spider's web, they made themselves comfortable in the drawing-room, she sitting down to the piano while he leaned over her tender ly, feeling as nearly happy as it was possible for sinful mortal to feel at any time, while she played soft chords to him and looked .at him now and again with the tender glance which made him so completely her slave. They did not speak much during that interval of waiting, and only when the sound of her husband's loud footsteps were heard, as he entered the house, was the spell broken. Stooping quickly over her, he kissed her and whispered: "I love you, Nina; I love you." "llush! Volto-or LBruno will hear you." John Algar came in, loudly slamming the door behind him, and sat very grimly all through the supper; so that Reginald Cleaver hardly dared to look at him and shortly afterwards retired to his bedroom in-a tumult of remorse and passion which kept him awake nearly half the night He had kissed her for the first time, and she had not resisted, so she must love hhn al though she had not yet said so. How beautiful she was-on the morrow per haps she would give him the assurance he wanted. At breakfast, however. Nina did not look at him, neither did she speak, but kept her lovely head bent over her plate in a confused, shy way that was very charming, and when afterwards he was asked into the manager's room and found there a couple of strangers watching him curiously, lie was so en grossed with that charming picture that he hardly looked at them or list ened to the loud coarsevoice of his s-u "IS THAT YOUR HAND-wVRITIs?" perior, but gave up his keys and per mitted one of the strangers to go for his books without thinking there was anything unusual in the request and action. "Is that your handwriting, young man?" asked one of the strangers, blandly, pointing to a portion of the open ledger. "Yes," replied poor Volto. promptly. "Look .more carefully at it, young man. Now, are you quite sure?" - "I think so," again replied the cash or, not so positively as-bfore. "You are a fool, young fellow, and might have lagged yourself with that answer of yours." said the stranger, contemptuously, "only that you have had a guardian angel near you since you came here-" "Lavina!" murmured the young man. and then he blushed. vividly. "No, donkey, your guardian angel didn't go by the feminine title of La vina; he's a male, and answers to the name of Jack Rtidgeway, detective that's myself." "Officer, what is the meaning of all this balderdash? Arrest that young scoundrel at once," shouted the mana ger, impatiently, yet with a frightened glimmer in his small gray eyes. "It means that I have been watching your hlittle game for a long time now, Mr. John Algar, bank manager and thief, and that this person may thank his lucky stars that I was on the spot, otherwise his flirtation with pretty Lavina might have cost him dear enough. Jifi, look after the lady while I attend to the master." Elephanotlae Joke by Dante. Dante, meditating apart one day in the Church of Santa Maria Novella, was accosted by a bore who asked maany foolish questions. Aftervainly endeav oring to get rid of him, Dante at last said: "Before I reply to thee, answer me this. Whiheb is the greatest of all beasts?" The gentleman replied that on the authority of Pliny be believed it to be the elephant. Then said Dante: "0, elephant, leave me in peace!" and so saying, he turned and left him.--N. Y. Times. THE DARK CONTINENT. Grand Mountaies and Romantlo Landsoape Soenery. A Twin Waterfall In Southeasters Atriea Fally a Hib ma NIragaF -Tthe Gates of st. John's River-A arf falo Iifnt. [Special South African Letter.] In a great majority of the narratives of African travel little mention has been made respecting the natural scene r.y of regions through which these re spective authors journeyed. Whatever the cause of this omission may be, it THE TSITZA WATERFALL. ans certainly -not arisen .from the ab sence of ample material worthy of the most eloquent pen. The greater portion of what opoe was Kafirland, .but is now commonly known as Kafftraria and the Trans Keian territories, is distinguished alike for its fertile valleys and grassy glades and its grand and picturesque moun tain scenery. WVithin this area the famous Drakensberg chain assumes its most sublime proportions. The wild confusion of fantastic shapes and forms here presented could not be more ap propriately described than by the Kafir name "' Quathfalonma,"-heaped up helter skelter-by which the region is known to the natives. During. the winter months many of these taller peaks are not iinfrequently clad with snow, pre senting a quaint and interesting con trast to the dark-green verdure which flourishes at the base. Numerous water courses have their sources in this wild region and flow on ward to the lower plateau, half way to the Indian ocean, where their volumes are increased and united until several pretentious rivers are formed, such as the Bashee, Umtata and the Umzim vubu. Dotted along on these river valleys on their way to the sea, are seen numerous huts and kraals of the natives, with hordes of sleek-haired, long-horned cattle lazily grazing on the grassy slopes-a picture of pastoral beauty and contentment rarely seen in other lands. All along the eastern border of Cape Colony waterfalls are numerous. One of the most magnificent of these is on the Tsitza river, not far from the Shaw burg mission station and half way be tween Umtata and Kokstad. Some miles below the falls the river makes a bend to the left, and, after running through some charmingly picturesque gorges wooded to the water's edge, it passes across a flat stretch of country until it reaches the edge of a dizzy precipice over which it leaps, with a roar resembling distant thunder, to a secthing depth of 375 feet below. The rift or chasm through which the river plunges is about 150 yards across; and during the rainy season, when the mountain sources are flooded and seek ing outlet in this direction, the scene is grand and beyond the power of any pen to describe. Then it is that the entire space be tween the walls (150 yards) forms one continuous, unbroken sheet of water, which flows faster and faster till it reaches the precipice, where, foaming and seething, wave seeming to sti-nggle THE OATES OF ST. JOLN"'S RIVER. waith wave in a mad rush to reach the depths, the whole surgin, writhing, liquid mass lands in weird con fusion below, where it forms a huge basin-shaped lagoon, which makes a favorite habitat for tribes of hippopot ami, crocodiles vand other amphibia. But perhaps the grandest and most romantie landscape scenery on the continent of Africa south of the equator is to be found on the St. John's river, as the Umzimvubn is known from the eastern border of Pondoland to the sea. At the mouth of the St. John's, were itdebouchesinto the Indian ocean, the view is a notable object of interest for all who are so fortunate as to trim the coast near enough to observe its outlines, and those who once view it waill scoartely fail to recognize its picture afterwnrd. Hiere a lofty table-topped ountain appears to have been cleft to its base, leaving a wedge-shaed pi thsmgh which the river fows to the see. The edtes of the gap near the river's mouth lie about 2,000 feet apart and gradually approach each other un til near the top of the first reach, when they are about 1,500 feet asunder. They rise in abrupt forest-clad steeps, and fiehi the edges on both sides of the river plateaus extend until on either side other precipitous cliffs rise and are visible from ships' decks leagues away at sea. This is known as the "Gates of the St. John's River." Inside the "Gates" the river is broad, with scarce ly a perceptible current, and the banks dir covered with forest" trees iid tani gled undergrowth of vegetation. Owing to the abundance of water and the constant siappl~ of fresh vegeta tion and succulent .grass throughout this portion of Ponlolan4d t,is natural ly a favorite resort for wild game. Nearly every variety of wild animals peculiar to southern-Africa--with the ex ception of the elephant-is found here and consequently it is. much frequent ed by the class of hunters and .sports men who are not averse to roughing it, for luxuries beyond what nature affords are unknown in this wild region. It was here that the writer had his first full view of a wild African buffalo, and he has ever since devoutly prayed that it might be the last. In company with an Englishman named Phillips, we landed from a small coaster at the mouth of the St. John's, bent on a tetn days' hunt. Phillips was familiar with the country, and for two or three days we worked our way back from the coast, meeting with good sport in shooting small game. One afternoon we spied a native hut in a thickly wooded copse, and entering it found the entire family, consisting of father, mother, two grown-up daughters and a son of about '20 years, squatted around a big wooden basin filled with an odorous stew of buffalo meat and green Indian corn. Phillips, who spoke the Pondo dialect, soon placed us on good terms with the household by pre senting the old native a plug ',f tobac co and a clay pipe. We soon learned that a herd of buffaloes had been seen in the vicinity a few hours before, and the old man and his son had bagged one. We were further assured that if we chose to rest over night the entire family would accompany us on a buffa lo hunt on the morrow. Biefore daylight the next morning we sallied forth in f ill force, and at sun rise had reached the spot where the na tives had killed the buffalo the day be fore. Hero we found a plain trail, and we stopped long enough to lay out a plan of campaign. The natives de ployed so as to act 's a sort of skirmish line, while Phillips and I stood close PONDO PAMILY. together as we proceeded in the diree tion the herd had taken. We followed a sort of blind trail along the side of a mountain which rose on our left hand at an angle of about forty-five degrees. We had proceeded thus far about thirty minutes when Phillips, who was a little in advance of me, suddenly stopped, raised his rifle and quickly fired. Simul taneously with the report of the gun I heard a loud snort and then a crash ing noise like a tornado rushing down the side of the mountain, and then I saw, not more than seventy-five yards away, a huge, dark-colored beast, bear ing right down upon me. I did not hesitate, but sprang for a tree a few steps away, and, seizing a lower branch. was rapidly launching myself out of dan ger, when the branch snapped from the trunk and I fell heavily to the ground. Then, hearing Phillips laugh, I looked up and saw the dead buffalo lying about twenty yards from me. Phillips' shot had penetrated-4ts heart, but the savage brute had charged in the direc tion of its foes till the last throb was stilL J. W. SILER. Strange Selection. It is an easy and very profitable busi ness to smuggle rifles into Morocco. A weapon may be bought in Gibraltar for ten dollars and sold in the interior for five or six times that sum. Smugglers are continually running over in feluccas and beaching these arms somewhere between Cape Spartel and Tangier, and * curious are the devices by which they accomplish their transport. One smuggler told a traveler that he ran his cargo into Tangier bay after dark, and unloaded the rifles on the beach, not a quarter of a mile from the custom house. "Who assists you in unloading?" asked the traveler. "I generally employ the porters of the custom house," was the innocent reply. Then, noting the surprise and amuse ment of his hearer, he added: "They are more skilled in unloading than other laborers." It had evidently neither occurred to him nor to the porters that they might betray him.-Youth's Companion. fladlesily DIirelit. Two things may look very similar on the surface, but be entirely unlike at bottom, as in this case reported by the Memphis Appeal-Avalanche: The landlady of a boarding-house in this city has an eight-year-old son who is remarkably precocious. Not long ago he went uptown and had his head shaved. Among the boarders is a gen tleman whose hair long ago bade him farewelL This gentleman caine to the" table the next day, and maid: "Why, Charley, you haven't any more hair now than I have." '"Yes, sir," said Charley, "that's so: but you see I have a lot more roots Sha lou have." AGRICULTURAL HINTS. ROAD CONSTRUCTION. Some Suggestions Concerning Impreving Country fllghways. James M1elville4 C. E., writes to the Orange Judd Farmeri With good roads a farm fourteen miles from a town wtr.ll be nearer than one which is five miles removed and has the present poor roads. No times of famine would oc cur in cities from lack of farm prod ucts during the season of bad roads. The farmer will deliver his crops when they are needed. Mlueh time is lost waiting for passable roads. ~armers living near towns will have opportun ity for more social pleasures. Good roads will make economic delivery of mails in rural districts possible. Fluctations in markets will be known in the country as early as in the towns, giving farmers an opportunity of selling and buying to best advan tage. If our roads remain in their present form the .condition of rural classes will not improve materially during the present generation. "What shall be done with our roads?" is a common question. It is useless to talk of a national system of roads at.pres ent. A national movement requires time, labor and patience, and comes 't. " - $ý - • VIEIVW OF A TYIC'AL COUNTRY ROAD. after years of waiting and unrequited labor. It may be good in theory but I fear it is utterly Utopian in practice. A state system is but little more feasible. State legislatures move slowly and in a very conservative way, even in so important a matter as road im provement. Practical road reform must begin with the individual. The man who talks road improvement must be in earnest to the extent of be ing willing to give time and money to it. I have in mindl a case which well ilustrates this. I visited acounty where all the main roads were in fine condition. It seems that a young German farmer became enthusiastic on this question. He studied road making wherever he could find any thing on the subject and asked ques tions of everyone he thought could aid him. lie quietly secured the good willi of a few influential men and when the town meeting was held made the fol lowing proposition: "Give me the road taxes expended yearly on the por tion of road between my farm and the village, a distance of nearly six miles, for a period bf ten years and I will build a single graveled track and keep it in repair." To his surprise the prop osition was accepted. After signing an agreement that the road should at no time thereafter be in a worse condition than it was at that time the tax was turned over to him. The expenditure of four years' taxes completed a single track, well graveled the entire dis tance, and before the expiration of the seventh ycar hlie had a double track for the entire distance in such good con dition that the annual expenditure of his own road tax kept it in repair. Other towns adopted his method and the result is good roads throughout the county. Don't attempt too much. If gravel is convenient, use it; if not, use the best earth along the line of road. Put it in place, arrange for thorough surface and under drainage, round up the road bed and compact it. Repair breaks as soon as they occur. Earth roads made in this way will be vastly superior to the unimproved highways. Road building needs intelligent super vision. Select a man to supervise the work who knows something about roads and not just because he is a "good fellow." "CANDLED EGGS." The Name of a Separating Process Em ployed by Commission Men. This terrn is often seen in market re ports, but few people probably know its meaning. Candling is the process eggs are put through by commission men who separate the good eggs from the rotten. Many systems for detect ing good eggs from bad are going the rounds, lut the most and in fact the only reliable one is that of candling or utilizing light for the purpose. A box about one foot long and six inches wide is taken and two holes are cut in one side, each about the size of an egg. A candle is placed inside the box with the flame resting opposite the two holes. A dark room is now sought, the candle lighted and the eggs, two at a time, are placed in the holes in the box. If they are semi-transparent and exhibit no spots they are good. If, however, they are the least bit tainted, or slightly hatched, black spots from the size of a pin's head to that of a half dol.ar, wviii be distinctly seen. An incandescent light is better than a candle where such is obtainable. Gardens for Utays sad Girls. It is an excellent plan for the boys and girls to have a vegetable garden of their own and sell the vegetables to the family, as is the custom very fre quently in good English families. This should not be a mere matter of play. The vegetables should be pur chased on their merits alone and at. 'he prevailing market prices, inferior ones being thrown back upon the young gardener in order to teach him practical methods of business. Such simple vegetables as radish and lettuce may be easily raised by a young nardelner, -Rural IWorld. DAIRY COW FEEDS. How to dbtain the eset Besults at the Least fpeuase. It is fair to say that a cow must pay for the feed she eats, and return a liv ing to the owner; but after all it is more profitable for the owner to raise the feed. and make yet another profit bettreen the actual cost of the cow feed, as faised on the farm,-and what the same feed would cost if another man raised it, and his living and profits came from its sale. Oats, at forty cents per bushel, are too expensive a feed, when the results are compared with good bran, or, what is yet better, with seconds, the grade of bran that has quite a showing of flour in it, and is yet in most markets cheaper than the bran. Corn meal, at sixty cents for fifty-six pounds, is a good food in part. for a butter dairy, and especially so. if it is to be fed with clover hay, which is largely albuminous, and needs the starchy foods, like corn meal, to balance it, rather than more albu minous matter, which is so largely represented in bran. When I can get clover hay in abun dance I feed largely of that, for from every ten dollars' worth of the hay there is made nine dollars' worth of fertility. To balance the clover hay, I would get corn in the ear, and have it ground fine and feed with the clover hay, rather than buy more albuminous matter. Ear corn should be ground on the cob, and not shelled. For milk, the fourteen pounds of cob in a hun dredweight of meal are worth more, as a promoter of digestion, than would be the fourteen pounds of pure meal in its place. A cow in good flow of milk will need from twenty-two to thirty pounds of clover hay each day, with eight pounds of the meal. In my dairy I reverse this by feeding fifty pounds of silage, made from fairly well eared corn, and five to six pounds of seconds daily, and what clover hay the cosrs will consume-some five pounds daily to each cow. In the same way cows, to do their best, seem to need a bulky food, largely on the carbohydrate side of the ration, as mixed hay, well cured corn fodder, and the like. The albuminous matters should come in smaller amounts, though clover hay is an exception, as it is a loose, bulky, stomach-distending food, and the corn meal balances it in starch to some extent. Cows eat as they were born to do, some more, some less, and to produce milk the same rule holds good. The amount of food a cow will con sume is no indication of what she will produce in milk solids, so that the good dairyman has to feed as circunm stances indicate, the milk pail being the indicator. Wheat straw is not a good promotor of milk yield, nor an economical factor in the feed line. Wheat straw is far better under a milch cow than in her stomach. A cow needs to eat so much straw to obtain a minimum amount of nutriment that the stomach is overtaxed, and there is a shrinkage of the milk. If the straw is cut fine, and moistened with a small amount of water, and then fine mid dlings mixed through the mass, the straw will be improved and made more digestible. Cut straw and linseed meal are useful foryoung stock.-John Gould, in American Agriculturist. SETTING CUTTINGS. The Device Here IUtntrated Will Expe dite the Operation. In setting grape, currant, or other cuttings in the open ground a trench is often plowed or dug, the cuttings placed in position, and the earth thrown back. Many make the ground as mel low as possible, and with a pointed stick or sharpened iron rod make a hole of the proper depth and inclination, and insert the cutting. The operation can be greatly expedited and cheapened by the handled foot dibble shown in the illustration, Fig. I. A blacksmith FIG. 1. rlo. 2. FOOT DIBBLE. GUIDING BOARD. can make one from an old fork. Cut tings are usually placed about four inches apart in the row. Hence, have a three-tined fork made with straight tines four inches apart, five inches in length, three-eighths of an inch in diameter and pointed at the ends. The operator walks by the side of a line or mark and forces the fork into the ground, four inches apart, at any in clination desired. If the ground be hard the foot is used to press the fork down. A uniform depth can be secured by running the tines through a light strip of wood shown in Fig. 2. After the cuttings are it place, the dibble should be again pressed into the earth within two inches of the cuttings, and moved slightly to press the earth firmly against the cutting at the bot tom. Test this by trying to pull out the cutting. IValking along both sides of the row fills all interstices, and growth is assured as far as proper set ting is concerned.-American Agricul turist. Compositioen of Orafting War. The bulletin of the experiment farm at Ottawa in Canada, where much grafting is performed, especially of the cherry, gives the composition of the grafting wax there employed. A wax for outdoor use is made by melt ing together five parts of resin and two parts of beeswax; to this is added one and a half or two parts of linseed oil For winter use in the grafting-roonm less oil and beeswax make a more t ruit able composition. A Frobaem. Mr. Daddy-I wish our baby could talk more plainly; Brown's baby is a month yipnger, and one can under stand almost every word it saya wonder why it is? Mrs. Daddy (offended)-I'm sure I don't know. (To the baby.) Comesey tooty mommy itte sweety. Does 'oo wicked popper scold 'oo dear Ittle popsy wopsy dodkins?-Puck. Order CountermandedL Foreman (job office)-Vhat are you working at now? Boy-Runnin' oft some business cards of a young woman who wants to do -mending for gents and families. I Foreman-tGee whizz! Didn't you get word not to print 'em? The order is countermanded. Quick as the boss saw that girl's card, he rushed off and mar ried her.-N. Y. Weekly. Ite Was Up. The tooth puller was right up with the times in youth, style and cheek. "Have you all the latest appliances?" asked a patient in the chair, holding on to his jaw. "Oh, yes," replied the artist, "I'm fang do siecle," and the tooth flew out against the window pane and smashed it.L-Detroit Free Press. A NATURAL DEFECT. "Be careful, Mr. Snobly, that is the fifth glass of punch I have seen you take." "Ah, my clear M\iss Winston, you don't know me; I can drink any quantity of liquor and never have a head on me." "Oh no; no one would ever aecuse you of that."-Truth Unadulterated. The Buffalo News has an old joke with a slight variation: Nimrod-Any good hunting round here? Farmer-Yes; oceans of it. Nimrod-What kind of game mostly? Farmer-Never seed any game. Just plain hunting. A Lesson In Etiquette. In a kitchen: 3Mother-You shouldn't dip your '--. ers into the gravy that way. Mary. It's very vulgar. Mary-But how else can I taste it, mother? You surely don't want me to soil one of the plates!--La Lanterne de Cocorico. Honesty Pays. Jim-Honesty is the best policy arter all. Bill-Hlow? "Remember that dog I stole?" "'Yep." "Well., I tried two hull days to sell 'im, an' no one offered more 'an a dollar. So I went, like a honest man, an' guy him to th' ole lady what owned 'im, an' she guy me five dollars."-N. Y. Week ly. The Warruig Taken. Jack Billings-Do you think it right for a fellow to kiss a girl suddenly, without warning? May Cooings-No; I do not. Jack Billings-N'either do I. But how Is he going to war her? IMay Cooings-I don't know of any better way than to ask some question like yours just now.--Puck. To Resuscitate Drowning Persons. There are many prescribed methods for the resuscitation of drowning per sons, but one of the most efficient means is the pulling of the tongue. This as also applicable to asphyxiation from gases. The tongue must not only be pulled out of the patient's mouth, but it must be twitched rhythmically in imita tion of the breathing rhythm. The effect of this method was recently veri fied in the province of Orel, Russia. A peasant named Sophron had been drawn out of a river; all methods to revive him were fruitless. Then an old peasant named Petrucha resorted to this meth od, and in five minutes the man was vw stored to consciousness. THOSE FOBS. *U,10TNEV Miss Tootyfrooty - Mistah raswe' strope, you reck'n I's gwine wars wid a gem'man wid his 'spender hangla' outen his dloes dataway? Mister Raszzerstrope - 'Deed, Misa Tootyfrooty, yo's m'staken 'bout dat. SDas no 'spender, das msh new fe% chain Both sides of the halnlo. She-I took the present you gave mt to my aunt and she thought it w. lovely. But she wants to know what we will do with it after r w~r are at ried. He-That's very simple,. dearet. Le:i her I shall take it to my pt~ .lrn F. ..LifeJ