Newspaper Page Text
a.but it wOt n'be taken as
n ho stew.-Cheaeter (Pa.) Laman never realizes how much aiture he owns until he tries to :Walk rapidly through his house in the Sdark.--E tofle Belge. -If men were as ungallant during courtship as they are after marriage, it is doubtful if more than one in ten thousand could ever get a wife.--lam's Bora. --"That was an awfully queer thing aboutJack Watson's marriage." "What ;do you mean?" "*Why, he married the girl for love, when she had lots of money." -The people who abuse this world most vehemently while enjoying all its privileges are generally the ones who raise a great fuss over dying.-Wash ington News. -Bacon--"So you have been up to Niagara falls? Did you hear the mighty roar of the cataract?" Egbert -"No; I. had my wife with me." Yonkers Statesman. -Cattle Dealer (looking at an oil painting)-"Alle Wetter! Two thou sand marks for the two oxen! That is a lot, and they are lean into the bar gain!"-Hunmoristisches. -Florence--"Do you know anything about swinging :dumb-bells?" Charley -"Well, I guess I do; I had to dance four times with that horrid Miss Flintly last night."-Inter-Ocean. -The idea of employing pretty wom en- for bill collectors looks feasible, but it would not work. The delinquent debtors would all want them to call again.-Somerville Journal. -Workman- "Are you in favor of the eight-hour movement, my friend?" Tramp (in tones of disgust)-"Do I look like a chap as was in favor of any kind of movement?"--Comic Cuts. -Hicks-"Smiddle's wealth, I dare say, is wholly due to his own unaided efforts." Wicks-"On the contrary,the most of it is due to his creditors; but they'll never get any of it."-Boston Transcript. -Two Wishes.-Adoring One (in lav ender kids and a blue scarf)-'Oh. how I wish that I were that book you clasp so lovingly!'.' She--"How I wish you were, so that I could shut you up." Yankee Blade. -Not to be Overlooked. - Bire "There are at least sixteen things about your sugar I like." Grocer--"Ah, and what are they?" Bire-"The num ber of ounces to the pound."-Detroit Free Press. -A Burst of Grief.-Rounder-"What book is that you are weeping over." Old Soak--"Paradise Lost." Rounder -"What do you find in that to weep about?" Old Soak (bursting out afresh) -"It is-s all about 1-lost spirits." Truth. -Diner-"Waiter." Waiter - "'Yes, sah." Diner--"Can't you take my or eler? I've been waiting ten minutes." -aiter""I ain't de gentleman wat waits on dis yer table, sah. De other gentleman'll be heah in a minute, sah."-Boston Courier. -Miss Kulscher--"'fr. Nibbler, do you write for the papers still?" Mr. Nibbler-'"No; I found it didn't pay." I sold a story to an editor for a sovereign five years ago. and then spent three pounds buying the paper before it was oublished."-Tit-Bits. 0S3C E1rJJOY1 Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro duced, pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most poplar remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 500 and S1 bottles by all leadinp drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try It. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FI SYRUP Ca FAN 84500, CAL. £O0wllul.E. Fn. AEW YORK& U.S. HORSES OR MULES? Is guaranteed to Oure in Every Case. ZIar, Miss, Feb. t, ISgo.r DasSass:-4 do not want to be withoat a supply ofyour Enmmett'a Colic sand Dots Care as "o0g as I own an animal subject to tbe above mased diseases. Am - a farmer, _wmer asS baoederof horses, cows and hogs. r have used lJL mclfl in ood number of cases. and in lcrff ktfo. uosd it fully as good as .rcoin L eJmeze is an increasn_ demand ort it S. .*inUai the farmers. Yours., ,+ .,:_°:Z' "2+ * .: ft tead J.a-re- eggs, one. cup oi sugar, one quart of milk, one table spoontfaof corn stamch, one teasponful vanilla, a small pn.of salt. Beat the sugar and eggs tog ier mix in the other ingredients awe and bake on one crust. This makes wo plea-Boston Budget Boiled Apple Dumpling.-Prepare your paste. Cut into squares, and fill as for baked dumplings, chopping finely the apples that they may cook more readily. Put each dumpling into a bag or cloth and tie, leaving room for it to swell. Drop the bag into boiling water, and boil steadily for an hour. Serve the dumplings hot with sauce. A good sauce is made by mixing butter, brown sugar and cinnamon. -Ladies Home Journal. -Vegetable Soup-For this I always buy a "ten or fifteen-cent shin" of beef, because there is so much marrow; put on to cook in cold water at nine o'clock; at half-past eleven o'clock have ready four potatoes quartered, or smaller if preferred, two onions, a double handful of cabbage chopped fine, one carrot grated, two tomatoes, and a small red pepper. Lift the beef out on your meat platter, and serve the soup at twelve. Ohio Farmer. -Molasses Cup Cake. -One teacupful each of sugar and sweet milk, two eggs, three teacupfuls of flour, half a teacupful butter, a pinch of salt and one teaspoonful of soda dissolved in one teacupful molasses; flavor with a tea spoonful each of cinnamon and ginger. Bake in shallow cups or gem pans. Try it and see if there is enough flour; if not, add as much as needed, but they lose their excellence if too stiff.-Orange Judd Farmer. -Potato Pats-Make mashed potato into thin pats while it is warm, and these can be fried in various ways-by dipping in beaten egg and fry ing in butter, by dipping in egg and then in corn meal and frying in butter, or simply frying after bacon or salt pork. They are also delicious placed on a buttered pan in the oven and basted often with dripping from a beef or mutton roast, and placed around the roast when served.c-Coun try Gentleman. -Graham Gems.-In my estimation Graham gems are better made without eggs. My manner of making them is easy and is also inexpensive. Take one pint of thick, sour milk in which is dis solved a small teaspoodful of soda or saleratus, a half cupful of sugar (they are good without sugar; some prefer them without); add a little salt, stir in graham flour until the mixture is quite stiff. Heat and grease your gem pans and bake in a hot oven. Sometimes I mix the graham flour with wheat flour, and find this makes a little change that is pleasant--Prairie Farmer. -Apple Butter. -This is generally made in large quantities. Boil down a kettleful of cider to two-thirds the orig inal quantity. Pare, core and slice the apples, and put in as many as the cider will just cover. Boil slowly, stirring often with a flat stick, and, when the apples are tender to breaking, take them out with a strainer. Put in a sec ond supply of fruit and repeat the oper ation. Pour all together into a large tub, cover it, and let it stand for twelve hours. Return it to the kettle and boil the fruit down, stirring all the time, till it attains the consistency of brown soft soap. Spice or flavor to taste; keep it in stone jars in a dry cool place. It should last good right into the spring. -Liverpool Mercury. THE WEDDING CAKE. A. English WVomsn Tells Slow to Make Oine of tile Genulne Kind.L "You're wedding cakes," says an English woman visiting here, "scem to me very poor and plain. Ours are a real sweet, you know. They are made of three separate cakes of graduated sizes,the first and largest often being as large around-well, as the front wheel of a baby's perambulator. Each cake is composed, first of the fruit cake, which is a solid baked mass of rich fruits quite six inches deep; over this is a deep layer of about three inches of rich almond paste, and quite on the top is two inches more of rich icing. The three cakes are exactly the same except in size around. They are placed one on top of the other in pyramid shape, with more icing and sugar orna ments, cupids, flowers, and leaves car ried in graceful design from top to base. At the wedding breakfast the bride puts the knife into the top layer, which is then carried to one side and sawed into pieces by the servant, for it will be hard. This is handed about among the guests; tte second tier is left with the bride's mother, and the bottom cake is sent untouched to the bride's home. The fruit cake is often nmade as much as three months before hand, which gives its richness time to permeate the loaf thoroughly. The almond paste is to me the most de licious part of the cake, and this you do not have at alL"-St. Louis Republic. Future Vegeance. "You'll be sorry for this some day!" howled the son and heir as his father released him from the position he had occupied across the paternal knee. "I'll be sorry? When?" "When I get to be a man?" "You will take revenge by whipping your father when you are big and strong and I am old and feeble, will you, Tommy?" "No, sir," blubbered Tommy, rub bing himself, "but I'll spank your grandchildren till they can't rest!" Chicago Tribune. P'rovillential. Teacher-Now, I have explained what "'providential" means, and I want some of you to give me an illustration. Bright Boy-Please, ma'am, I can. "Very well, what is it?" '"The holes in a porous plaster." "Hum! Vhy?" "When you pull th' plaster off th' holes don't hurt."--Good News. Tile March of Intellect. Father (rebukingly)--WVhen I was a little boy I never thought of ask ing such questions Tommy (the youngest)-Ah, but papa, when you was a little boy I wasn't born! -Funny Folks. Horse sand Horse. Barber (pausing in the midst of a rique tale)-Shampoo, sir? Your head is very dirty. Victim-So is your mouth; shampoo that. -National Tribune. A Striking Illntrattlor. Jackson-T)o you believe in the theory of a dual nature in man? Faxon-Yes. Why, look at old Hen nesseyl lIe's not himself to-night.h Puck. IN THE EL.Q RIOAL WORLD. -The sparks which in cold weather By from the fingers when a metallic ob jeet is touched are due to the electricity produced by the friction between the soles of the shoes and the carpet. The electricity is not formed in tie body at all and has nothing to do with the vital processes. -The students at Harvard university have reorganized the Harvard electric club. Prominent electricians will ad dress the club and members will read papers before it. The club is not to be a purely social organization, but its ob ject is to promote knowledge of elec tricity and kindred subjects. -A great sensation has been caused in Jerusalem by the introduction of the electric light into a new and flourish ing flouring-mill lately started close to the Damascus CGate. The Arabs and Jews are much puzzled to account for a light in a lamp in which there is no oil, and gaze upon it with wonder. -The experiment of electrically lighting omnibuses in London has proved so generally satisfactory that all the vehicles of the two leading com panies are to be so lighted. Two lamps are used in each omnibus, the power being supplied from a storage battery. Portable electric lamps for the use of the ticket in spectors are also in success ful use. -Incandescent lamps of a special character are now being made for elec tric railway lighting. These lamps are designed so as not to break by vibra tion. In the single loop form the fila ment is anchored to the point of the lamp, while in the spiral form the fila ment is made in three close spirals mounted on a long, heavy glass center, giving great steadiness of flament -A new scheme of signaling for war purposes, by flashing Morse signals from incandescent lamps inclosed in a balloon made of translucent material, was exhibited to military experts in London last week by the inventor, Eric 8 Bruce. Incandescent lamps, it was shown, could be used in the hydrogen contents of a balloon with perfect safety. The chief point claimed for the device is that it secures an elevation be yond the capacity of other means. -Gen. T. T. Eckert, who is to sue ceed the late Dr. Norvin Green as pres ident of the Western Union Telegraph Co., is a native of St. Clairsville, O., and sixty-eight years of age. He be gan at the bottom of the telegraphic ladder in 1849, had charge of the mili tary telegraph at Washington during the war, and upon the consolidation of the Atlantic and Pacific Telegraph Co. with the American Union in 1881 be came general manager of the new com pany. A sarxrsT light-Jupiter.-Truth. Cracrs performers are co'nt ing on a back Ward sprlng.-N. O. Picayune. To HABROW one's feelings is not the most profitable way of cultivating an acquaint ance.--Boston Transcript. "I wise snow was what. it lenkslike," said Abner. "If it was it would be cotton, and then it wouldn't never melt." Ha tHAD BrEN THERE.-- His Honnr-"Do you know the nature of an oath?" Witness -"Yes-it's human nature."--Puck. "DocTon," said tile medical student, "is a blind man not to be anl idiot!" "WVhy, no! What makes tou aslk that?" "The adage says: 'Out of sight, out of mind.' " TnE Siamese twins were a fine illustra tion of the spirit of that beautiful saying: "Two hearts that beat as one."--Puck. LITTLE SIsTEn-"What does this book mean by the 'mellow lays' of a bird '" Lit tie Brother--"WVhy, that's an egg without any shell on, of course.'.' TnE bad practices of others give the law yer his good one.-Truth. FoTITrxo tooth and nail-the dentist and the chiropedist. FRIENDS are like umbrellas-they are never at hand when it rains. "WTr do you go to the Dartmoor's ball, Wallace? You can't dance." "\No; but I can eat."-Harper's Buzar. "You never can tell Judkins anything, he -" "Isn't possible; his wife belongs to three sewing societics."-Inter Ocean. A rEPPR-AxND-SALT suit OUght to be al ways "seasonable." "I wisn I was : monkey," said Chappie. "Well-you've ~ot your wish," returned Maude.--Har.c: a Bazar. "German Syrup" Justice of the Peace, George Wil kinson, of Lowville, Murray Co., Miun., makes a deposition concern inga severe cold. Listen to it. "In the Spring of x8S8, through ex posure I contracted a very severe cold that settled on my tlungs. This was accompanied by excessive night sweats. One bottle of Boschee's German Syrup broke up the cold, night sweats, and all and left me in a good, healthy condition. I can give German Syrup my most earnest commendation."' salvartion Oil Try 15 .Caw 2. CURE. Curs C3onsmptlon, Coughs, Croalo - Threat. Sold by sil Druatius os a Gumsranse I AM 80 HAPPY! Relieved me of a severe Blood trouble. It has also caused my hair to grow out again as it had bieen falling out by the andful. After trying many physicians in vain, I am so happy to find a cure in S. S.S. O. H. ELBERT, Galveston, Tex. 8 CURES BsYf&cn Re:"nsoit SQP"It lis entirey vegetable and harmless. Treatise en- lood and Skin mailed free. Swat'?X Srzcuzg Go, Ato.n, a. We offer Oin Hundred Dodllars wh for any caseof Catarrh that eamt be by lil's Cartarrh Cure' F. J. CsauxsTa eo., Props., Tbl.4d 0. We the uadesilned have knonw .. . Chleneth or the last 1 yearn, amed blevH him perfectly honorable in all business transactons and fmnsalmly able to carry out any obligation made by their firm. Wsar & Tauz. Wholesale Druggists, To Iedo, O. WALzxe,- KINNAN & Mh Ava, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O. Hall's Catarr Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Price 75c. per beto. tie. Sold by al Druggists. Testimonials free. IT is better to say: "This one thing I do," than to say : 'Tllese forty things I dabble in."-Washington Gladden. Trn wonLD'S MIAMMOTH HOTEL is the 1.100 room. fireproof, summer hotel, the ''GREAT ESTEIRT.'" at St. Lawrence Ave. and 00th St., Chicago. two blocks from Midway Piai sauce World's Fair entrance and overlook ing famous Washington Park. World's Fair visitors can avoid annoyance and extortion of sharks by engaging rooms now at $1.50 a day, each person (European) by addressing Copeland Townsend, Manager, (formerly mr. Palmer House), 42 Rookery Building, Chicago, Ill. WRE- a person considers himself as "one in a thousand,' he naturally regards the others as ciphers. You Needn't Live in a Swamp To have malarial trouble. It is as wido spread as it insidious. But you do need Hos totter's Stomach Bitters to get over it soeedily and completely. Persistent use of this professionally commended remedy and preventive will floor it, though you have tried other medicines in vain. Tackle it at the outset. The same advice should be taken in cases of dyspepsia, debility, liver and kidney complaint, rheumatism and neu ralgia. WTHEN some people go forth to bury tieir prejudices they merely plant them.-Dallas I ews. Foe BROscarIAL. AsTHMATIO AND PuLao -NARY COMPLAINTS, "Broew,'s Bronchial Troches" have remarkable curative proper ties. Sold oely in boxes. TiAAynicAL managers mty act as though they want the earth, but iYls really the stars they are after. -Inter Ocean. Dox'T Neglect a Cough. Take some Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar insta,.ter. Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute. Son of the funny stories told about the fireside are enough to make even the fire roar.-Yonkers Statesman. BEECnAM'S PILLS are not a new remedy. They have been used in Europe for 50 years, and are well tested and excellent. OrnER garments influence a woman, but I it is her hat that dominates her.-P-uck. A "RUN DOWY"' and" used-up" feeling is the first warning tt your liver isn't doing its work. And, with a torpid liver and the Impure blood that fol lows it, you're an easy prey to all sorts of all menta. That is the time to p-ie is tt-~ l tke Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. As an appetizin, restora tive tonic, to repel disease and build up the needed flesh and strength, there's noting to equal it. It rouses every organ into he tbh ful action, purifies and enriches the blood, braces up the whole system, and restores health and vigor. For every disease caused by a disordered liver or impure blood, it is the only guaranm teda remedy. If it doesn't beneflt or cure, in every case, you have your money back. $500 is offered, by the proprietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy, for an in curable case of Catarrh. 'Ihelr remedy perfectly and permanently cures the worst cases. A Powerful Flesh Maker. A process that kills the taste of cod-liver oil has done good service-but the process that both kills the taste and effects par tial digestion has done much more. Scott's Emulsion stands alone in the field of fat-foods. It is easy of assimilation because part ly digested before taken. Scott's Emulsion checks Con sumption and all "lker wasting diseases. Prepared by Seott & dlown. Chemist: Now Fork. Sold by druiets verywhdre. HomNAL that e Necwuld like to have them "Pmade thirty dollars; papa's got on his new suit mamma; I guessand I do too. Mr. Curtism. will tell any girl how she can makenow lots ney.ople" ; told them ho much we liked THEI PUBLISHING COUR made thirty dollars; papa's got it on; he feels awfully happy; so does Smamma; I guess Ido too. Mr. Curtis will tell any girl how she can make TAll all. ...ho T Home us -Lc a"- I )I-sO--'- I- - a- I-se , "Shave your mSoip -so the soap makers say, es S:pecially if your washing delicate things. Now, in the name of common sense, what's the use? When you can get Pearline, in powder form for this very reason, why do you want to work over soap, which, if it's good for anything, gets very hard and difficult to cut. Besides, Pearline is vastly better than any powdered soap could be. It has all the good properties of any soap-and many more, too. There's something in it that does the work easily, but without harm-much more easily than any other way yet known. Peddlers and socme unscrupulous grocers will tell yu S"th is as good as" or "the same as Prline. IT' B eware FALSE-Pegarlino is never peddled. if your r sends oa an imitation, be honest-seed it back. SM JAkMES PYLNw Yeo. '"Would you know wv0y with pleasure Our faces so beam? Our 8eru'ats Our life .e'er is a grumble, dreamn. ,LAUD [a tIe cause of our bliss; For all sorts of cleaqintg It nev er,- conles anlss. MADe ONLY BY KKFAIRBANK & Co. ST. Louis. THE POT INSULTED THE KETTLE BECAUSE THE COOK HAD NOT USED SAPOLIO GOOD COOKING DEMANDS CLEANLINESS. SAPOLIO SHOULD BE USED IN EVERY KITCHEN. the Sores, eestares 'Tase and Sm l m Cures be a to a iionceor. *. OEICOKEE.HATSHIU BY STEAM. Nutel & 0..3fru. . Z L.U.5.A. WINAm fHZU PhZZ3.w. e..Wtehb $3.00 FOR ONLY 50 Cts. Money must be sent during the Month of March. The Hme Magazine OF WASHINGTON, D. C. FOR ONE YEAR AND THE - . White House Dining Room Chart, Fancy Work Chart, Prose and Poetry Chart, Spring Dressmaking Chart, .,C,.ed by MRS JOHN. .LGAN. and Floral Chart For Only Fifty Cents. THE HOMB MAGAZINE has a circulation of over 375,000 every month. We want a million; hence our great offer. OO THE HOME MAGAZINE is handsomely illustrated by most skillful artists. The Best Story-writers contribute to its columns, and every e one at home will find something of Interest. 1 ` It contains interesting, pages for the Mother and Children ; all about Flowers, the Dining Room, Fashions, Fancy Work, Sunday Reading and many other home subjects. Full Account of Washington Society. Now, THE HOMIE MAGAZINE for one year Is only Fifty Cents, but we make you the following liberal offer: The White House Dining Room Chart Fancy Work Chart SNew throughot from cover to cover: containing a Cotaining over 300 flustrations of Plain and OrM. Bill of Par for every day in the w bole year. No to mental initiate. Drawn Work, Netting. Embroidery. alike, and plai practical directione for preparnla every Tattln Patch work, Mioceliane ancy Work and dish from eoup to dessert. e aT DecoraIMa. The Homem Magazine Poetry Spring Dress Making Chart Floral Chart and Prose Chart Just a Ompleted, wit besigas A A bout wer p pecially adapted for selections 89 with wheat to wear d hw to plant, when to plant and or School Children. to ake to plat invaluable to every _ever of nowere. We have received over fifty thouesand new see mnoer oPb Notes, subscribers during February, and many thous Money Orders. Express sands more have written us asking how to senad Orers. Checks or slver. tue money and to extend the time. Hence we THiE BRODIX extend this great offer during Marchl We will send THE HOME MAGAZINE for one year, and PUBLISHING COMPANY the five charts, for only FIFTY CENTS, it money oo Eleventh t. s sent uring Marc. Mention this aper. Enth St, . DON'T DELAY. Washington, D. C. W POINTS rril WELL. 10o uh.pe ea Inbe*t b.ode d..l.. . PUMPS AGENTS NhSNTEl. A SO- A R|IATB NSFl. CO., S3W YotK CIT:. WIAME THIS PA8 5a t i~guI ®P! l lu 0 , Morphine! "Hb ibt Cured In 10 ie ito 2C d.. No pay till cured. Dum DR J. ST*PIENWS, Lebanon, Ohio. ....TB. WAIS ... Ha. ........ sa~l it~ pollse. ihists wb O Ora lawnib ,b p ahs GUlke the Gitch Process No Alkalies Other Chemicals ate use In the rration of W. BAKER A CO.'B Src kfstC00oa tea utr&wpt of Cocoa mixed with d rb, Arrowroot st saend I far mnore e... namlkaffOa a,_a ' o L7&e o a cup. It is mo-iu nourllsh , andi WLe 83.1 by o@t-eers everywhere. W.AXNR GO.. Dorchesr. Xe. ' S - IRON CASTI S ", ______ WORKS. Machiner and Machinery Supplies. :ETAZ.rr..1D 1866. I Writ. orprino L5I1OOIPOWALTD i 1. m a asBams wa Tlss "ms maIsnssa No TREES of first quality can ever be sent by mall. Myhap you know it. y freitlght, prepaid if preferred, we ship safely 4. 5 or 6. trees; 2-year Roses of rare excellence -everything) You actually pay less than for the puny stuff. 1,000 acres Nurseries. 20,000 acres Orchards. Exact Information about trees and fruits. STAnK Blos., Louis lana, Mo. LADY AGENTS WANTED ,r."' a Pleasure and ProOf." iw)eleated by poermu.on to Mrw. Potter Palmer. Lldy Preident of World's Fair Committse. Best book on decorlltve and fanoy work ever published. Rapid salte. Quite new. DANKS At CO., 54 Dearborn ht.. Chicago. 1iL wrsarasi rvaraaswrma w!elsa .fl-eis. isale IL. inni sataissik. ir oI. MUST HAVE Tu oelk(Pat. lZk*e bey oi a. it. sefk. 1t4rhard A. Ca.. Phila. one arltesd. rsteasegw h. ratrisen prllld WILL ý>A V4meim.WI FLAIS WANTED CONFE)tERA'TE STAMi'S on Oralnal Euvclopee. N. fl. OaOEN. Charleston 5. WrlN*ruIhIS rarr use aa m. WANTED Traveli"n Salemen; or have . s.ide Inle. StOK4TVrlliAl CO.. LycebIbee, V.. 4WSAUX Tllus rrrsaPES s w, sa mty c S EtI Bta WANTED. State lowrst salary reqred. ud.- n ,tamp, Celny ad p'p., lase, l e whq have weak lunge or Asth ma. shourld. use Pso's Cre -rr Consumption. it has csaroe ed one. It is not bad to take. it is the best cough syrup. Sold everywhere. Ube. A. N. K., F. 1440 WUZE NHITINN TO ADVERTISERS pfLEASi taLts lthst ysI sw the Advertirement is this pamer.