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The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, September 30, 1893, Image 1

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.THE LAFAYETTE GAZETTE.
VOLUME I. LAFAYETTE, LA., SATUTRDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1893. UMBER 30.
PIOSYOCHEEK AND OURLY-HEAD.
When I otipne, th.i welcome waits
Each eveniag"when the day is fled:
The pattering of little foot;
'hen clinging arms, and kisses sweet
'roin rosy-cheek and curly-head.
hey ith shouts of rioting:
They' hing so they scarce can speaks
LA pair 'ghwaymen are they;
And i, ens -yielding prey
To sly-l eand rosy-cheek.
b.ut curly heads will sometimes ache,
And ll our souls with sudden dread:
*And roses fade, while hearts stand still.
Oh, may there come no touch of ill
To rosy-cheek and curly-heal
God bless all little cheeks of rose!
Where'er they bloom, Thy sunlight shed.
Bless little heads of rippling hairl
Oh, take into Thy tender care
Each rosy-cheek and curly-head!
-Edgar W. Abbot In Outlook.
HICK'S PATENT COOKER,
The Pathetio Story That Induced
the Rector to Buy.
"I would like to call your attention
to my paytent cooker," said the mild
mannered man with the soft low voice
to the rector of St. Bartholomew's. "It
consists, as mobbe you can see-"
. "But I don't desire a cooker, -and
would not look at one if I did," inter
rupted the rector of St. Bartholomew's
in as irascible manner as is permitted
to his cloth.
"They come in three sizes," contin
ned the mild-mannered man with the
soft low voice-''small, mejum and
large. They're made of tin, genuwine
block tin, not rolled tin. I have fre
quently been congratulated on the
quality of my tin. Said Bishop Dobson
to me: 'Iiicks, I congratulate you on
,the quality of your tin.' "
"Bishop Dobson?" queried the rector
of St. Bartholomew's with languid in
terest. "1 don't remember to have seen
his name in the church calendar."
"Methody," explained the mild-man
eered man. "I'm a Methody. here's
a certificate from my pastor saying I'm
an individoonal of moral character and
use good tin in my cookers. Here's a
letter from Rlev. Edward Atkins-but
I don't set much store by that, bein' as
he is a liaptis', and no judge of tin.
The principle on which my cooker is
based-"
"You will have to excuse me," said
the rector of St. Bartholomew's, look
ing hard at.the heavy gold watch pre
sented him by the parish on his last
birthday, "but I have a sermon to
write."
"'Mebbe your lady would like to see
the cooker," said the mild-mannered
man. "It's made of genuwine block
tin, and Bishop Dobson himself said:
"'licks, I congratulate you on the qual
ity of your tin.' "
"I have no wife," said the rector.
with the merest suspicion of a blush.
"Then buy a cooker and git one," said
the mild-mannered man, confidentially.
"With Hicks' paytent cooker as an
ergumint, you will git one easy. They
come in three sizes-small, mejum and
large. This here is the small one.
Folds all up, you see, like a telescope.
Zlebbe you wouldn't believe it, but one
of them small-sized cookers saved my
life once. It was in the spring of 1853,
or the fall of 1852, or the winter of
1854, I don't remember which and it
don't makte no difference, that Rev. Dr.
James W ilyams, I). D., and I took pas
sage for Africky in the brig Thomas J.
Walkup, goin' as missionaries to some
of the numerous cannibal tribes that
keeps down the population, and conse
quently accounts for the depressed
values of real estate in the Dark Con
tinent. Rev. Dr. WVilynms was to tench
the savages religion, but my mission
was a more important one. I was to
introduce II ick s' paytent cooker among
'em. You can see that even this large
sized cooker won't hold a man, to say
nothin' of the mejum and small
ones. Now I calculated to teach the sav
ages to use my cookers, and when they
got so attached to 'em as to tver eat
nothin' except what was cooked ;n a
cooker-seein' that you couldn't cook a
man in 'em-cannibalism would natur
ally die out. When I broached my plan
to Bishop Dobson his eyesshone and he
said: 'Go, Hicks, go. Your -work will
supplement the work of Rev. Dr. WVil
yums. I heartily commend your plan,
and I congratulate you on the quality
of your tin.' Them was his words, and
I went.
"Well, sir, the mornin' after I ar
rived in Africky I began to talk to the
chief about my cooker, when what
does he do but take me down to the
leadin' grocery store of the town and
show me Rev. Dr. Wilyums chained up.
" 'Can you cook him?' axed the chief.
"'No,' said I, my breath all gone
with surprise at the turn affairs had
took.
" 'ell,' said the old chief, 'them's
the kind of victuals we eats. We don't
consume much in the-way of breakfast
foods, infants' foods and the like. If
your cooker can't cook our style of pro
visions we ain't got any use for it.'
"And with that they put me in their
jail, and that was the last I ever seen
or heerd of Rev. Dr. James Wilyums,
D. D. They would have et me at once,
but the chief's daughter, UtTgogina, fell
in love with me, and made 'em put off
the obsequies or festivities, according
as you looked at it from my stand
point or the savages'. I talked nice to
Ugogina, and got her to bring me my
small-sized cooker, the only one the old
witch doctor what kept the cookers
would let her have; and with that I
cooked them savages the finest kinds of
victuals they ever et,and they set me free
and made me royal cook, and the chief
kinder smiled indulgently at the way
U(gogina was makI' up to me. So yon
see the smaUll-sized cooker saved my
life."
"I'll buy the small size," said the
rector, hastily. "'I have a sermon to
write."
"Now you just take my advice and
git a meajum size. You can afford it.
WVhen you take that small-sized cooker
round to that young lady you're after,
when you ask her to marry you what'll
she think? Why, she'll say to herself
that in bnyin' this small cooker you are
layin' out not to ever have any comr
banv to - meals, and if she i a rIrl that
...= -  _ . .
is fond of company, you're runnin' s
risk. Wait till I tell you how the mejum
sized cooker saved my life. Well, the
old witch doctor took a big dislike to
me, and kept tellin' the folks that I
would make a better meal cooked than
I would coolin'. Ugogina wanted to
marry me, and the chief wqs willin',
but the witch doctor prophesied a lot of
calamities if the marriage took place,
and scared the chief Now I didn't
want to marry Ugogina, but I could see
'that if I did I -would be saved from
bein' et; but I thought I would try to
save myself and get out of the marriage
also. I could have run off to sea
any day, but there warn't no
boats. I could see ships sailin' by quite
often, but there warn't no way ' to git
off to 'em. I decided to fix the witch
doctor first. I got Ugogina to wheedle
the old feller to give me my mejum
sized cooker, the small-sized not betu'
large enough for my purposes. Then I
got a lot of African beans and some
hollow reeds and some sticky clay. I
set the beans a cookin' and put the
reeds into a little hole I made in top of
the cooker. 1 invited the witch doctor
in, and told him this was some of my
new vaporized atmospheric air, and
told him to put his mouth to the reeds
and suck some in. You know, if you
have studied chemistry, that beans are
highly charged with gas. Especially is
this true of the genuine African bean.
Well, sir, that old chap swallered a lot
of that gas, and-quicker than a wink
Ugogina and I knocked him over and
plastered his nose and mouth up with
clay, and I'm a dummed liar if that gas
didn't float that old feller right up in
the air, clear out of sight. tou see, he
was remarkably capacious. and the gas
was remarkably strong-remarkably
strong. 1 stood there in front of the
people when he was floatin' in the air,
and told 'em I was a magician, and
could set 'em all floatin'. They was
scared; wanted to elect me chief; but I
wasn't used to high political honors,
and compromised with alderman and
president of the school board. Well,
sir. Ugogina was dyin' to marry me at
once; but 1 staved her off for a time by
sayin' I wanted to git my trousseau
ready. That's how the mejum-sized
cooker saved my life."
"I will buy a medium-sized one," said
the rector, faintly. "It can be used by
St. Margaret's ward of the guild church
fairs."
"Or country fairs, either. lHowever,
I think you would like the large-sized
cooker for the church fairs. But you
wait till I finish my story. Now, I was
engaged to a girl in the United States.
If I married Ugogina what would be
the consequences? Breach of promise
suit for ten thousand dollars, and me
with no assets but three sample cookers
of block tin. What then? Default of
payment, state's prison for life. 'Sides,
I didn't want to marry Ugogina. What
did I do? Well, sir, one day I see a
ship goin by. and, stretchin' out the
large-sized cooker-they are all air
tight-I jumped on it and paddled ofi
to the ship, poundin' on the small and
mejum-sized all the way to scare sharks.
That's how the large-sized cooker saved
my life."
"Put me down for the large size,"
said the rector of St. Ilartholomew's,
wearily.
"I knowed you would," said the mild
mannered man with the soft, low voice.
"There's something affectin' in the
story of how them cookers saved my
life."-Wardon Allan Curtis, in Har
per's Weekly.
The King of Spiders.
Ceylon is the home of the largest
species of spider that has yet been made
the subject of entomnjlogical investiga
tion. This wob-spinning monster lives
in the most mountainous districts of
that rugged island, and places his trap
-not a gossamer snare of airy light
ness-but a huge .net of yellow silk
from five to ten feet in diameter, across
chasms and fissures in the rocks. The
supporting guys on this gigantic net,
which in all cases is almost strong
enough for a hammock, are from five to
twenty feet in length (as conditions and
circumstances may require) made of a
series of twisted webs, the whole being
of the diameter of a lead pencil. As
might be imagined, this gigantic silken
trap is not set for mosquitoes, flies and
pestiferous gnats, but for birds, gaudy
moths and elegantly painted butterflies,
some of the latter having a spread of
wing equal to that of a robin or a blue
jay. Some extra fine skeletons of small
birds, lizards, snakes, etc., have been
found in these webs, with every vestige
of flesh picked from them. The owner
and maker of these queer silk traps is a
spider with a body averaging four
and a half inches in width and six
length, and with legs nine to twelve
inches from body to terminal claw.
Some are spotted, others red with
greenish gold abdomen and legs.-St.
Louis Republic.
The Other Dear Charmer.
"It is really a great pity," said
Esmerelda Cervantes, the harpist, who
is on terms of intimate friendship with
the different members of the Spanish
royal family, "that Princess Iabella,
Eulalia's eldest sister, did not come
to America instead of Eulalia. She is
one of the most admirable and accom
plished women I ever knew. Hers is
indeed a noble character. She is a
widow and devotes herself to good
works and the arts. She is a thorough
musician and is the authorof some very
fine musical compositions. It would
really be dificult to fancy two people
more totally unlike than are these two
royal sisters. Neither do they look
Ialike, as you can see by their photo'
graphs," and Mille. Cervantes produced
1two inscribed pictures, one a very good
likeness of Infanta Eulalia and the
other representing a sweet, dignified,
refined woman, somewhat older but
much handsomer. "Princess Isabella
is greatly beloved in Madrid," continued
il1e. Cervantcs. "Had she come here
she would have won golden opinions
'for herself and. the Spanish people.
Unlike Enulalia. she is of equable tom
per and is always to be relied upon. I
am very fond of her and consider it not
only an honor but a privilege to be
numbered among her friends."---Chi
Cago Post.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
-Justice Blatchford's wealth was
partly inherited. His father once lost
150,000, it is related, having set a valise
containing that amount down in Ful
ton street, New York, to buy some pea
nuts and gone off forgetting it. But
he was so wealthy that the loss did not
hurt him much.
-Sir Leonard Tilley completed two
years ago his second terra as lieuten
ant-governor of New Brunswick and
he is still serving because partisan
politics there is very bitter and the
government has avoided the danger of
exciting the animosity of one faction
by failing to select his successor.
-Mrs. Frederika Macdonald, a well
known English writer and lecturer,
and Mrs. Annie lesant, who holds
Mme. lilavatsky's scepter, engaged in
a public disputation in London recently
about the merits of theosophy and Bud
dhism. The debate resulted in a drawn
battle, but was most interesting to the
audience, as each disputant made an
animated argument to support her
thesis.
-Pierre Lott, who is about to start
out on a tour to Egypt and Palestine,
appears to be a great favorite with
some of the feminine readers of his sto
ries. In a lecture which she lately de
livered about the novelist, Mme. The
nard said that "at receptions the$ over
whelmed him with adulation, and had
he partaken of all the ices and wvines
they pressed on him he would have died
ere this."
-It is the distinction of Rev. Mr.
Illodgett, of Greenwich, Mass., that
during his long pastorate of the village
church there he has buried more peo
ple than the town contains. lie has
officiated at 024.funerals, while the en
tire population of Greenwich at the
present time is only about 570. Mr.
Blodgett is seventy-eight years old, and
for half a century he has been the
town's only clergyman.
- -There were great rejoicings among
the pupils of M[. Bienjamin Constant
upon his election to a membership in
the French academy. A reception was
given him at one studio by the men
there,and a triumphal arch of roses and
laurels was erected by his girl pupils
in his studio in the Passage des Pano
ramas. Besides this, the staircase to
the street was lined with young girls.
each of whom held aloft a long spray
of flowers or a palm branch as the
painter descended, forming a floral
canopy over his head.
--he prince of Wales not long ago
was one of a large house-party, his
host being a very well-known peer.
After dinner, the royal guest, the host,
and the other male visitors repaired to
the billard-room. On a table at the
side were two or three boxes of cigars,
and the prince was helping himself to
one, when an ambitious millionaire ap
proached him, and taking from his
pocket a cigar-case, held it out to the
prince, saying: "I think, sir, you will
find these better." "Mr. - ," replied
the prince. "if a man's dinner is good
enough for me, his cigars are good
enough for me." The millionaire was
unexpectedly called away to town next
morning on business.
-HUMOROUS.
-"What have you really learned in
college, Harry, that is useful to you?"
'"I learned that I don't know how to
play poker."--lro:)klvn Life.
-IIe-"Don'tg'ou think it wrong for
people to marry their intellectual infe
riors?" She-"Yes, always wrong, and
in some cases quite impossible."-Rose
leaf.
-In winter we kick and we growl and we
swear.
When the ice on the sidewalk does gather:
But in summer we pay just to get it put there;
And rave if it fails? Well, now. rather.
-Buffalo Courier.
-"What made Jaggs leave the lawn
party just after the fireworks began?"
"'Well, you see, the fiery serpents that
were sent up looked so natural they
started him to hiccoughing."-Intcr
Ocean.
--Belle-"I was supremely happy
the day I was sixteen." Blanche
"No doubt. I've always insisted that
the last generation enjoyed them
selves much more than the present."
N. Y. Herald.
-Mr. Union Club-"I never get re
ligious except at twilight, when I have
time to sit before the fire and smoke."
Mrs. Union Club-"I suppose the fire
and smoke make vou dwell upon your
future, dear."-Club.
-Still in Doubt.-First Little Girl
"'Has your sister 'begun takin' music
lessons yet?" Second Little Girl
"She's takin' somfin' on th' piano: but
I can't tell yet whether its music or
type-writin'."-Daily Traveller.
-Junior Partner-"While I was tak
ing down that buyer's order this morn
ing, I told him one of your funny
stories." Senior Partner-"Ha. ha'.
Did he laugh?" Junior Partner--"No.
lie countermanded the order."-Clo
thier and Furnisher.
-Not a Good Plan.-One Rich Fa
ther-'"I think it is the best plan for
your son to marry my daughter, and in
that way we can keep the money in the
family." The Other Rich Father-"My
dear friend, you don't know my son.
-Detroit Free Press.
-An Experiment'-"I got tired of
riding homne in crowded cars, so I
bought a bicycle." "So you are going
to ride home on that hereafter?"
"Well, I don't know. I got it only
yesterday, and last night I rode home
in an ambulance."-Chic~ago Record.
-Young Witfe--"'This talk about man
being so impatient when a woman is
getting ready to go anywhere is all
nonsense." Friend-"Doesn't your hus
band complain at all?" Young WYife
"No indeed. Why last eveninta I
couldn't find my gloves, and I had a
long hunt for half-a-dozen other things:
and yet when I was finally dressed and
went down stairs to my husband, there
lie was by the fire reading and smolc
ing as calmly as if I wasn't half an
hour late. Friend-"W'ell, I declare!
Where were you going?" Y.ung Wife
-"To prsyer-meeting."--Bufatlo Comu
smerciaL
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
-Rev. G. G Tenny has been sent
out from Michigan as an Adventist
missionary to India.
-Rev. Dr. WV. Pope Yeaman,of Colum
bia, Mo., has accepted the presidency
of Grand River Baptist college at Gal
latin, Mo.
-In Pennsylvania, women belong
ing to the Protestant Episcopal church
not only vote for vestrymen, but are
elected to that office.
-The Lord's Day union has been or
ganized in India. It was suggested by
our Rev. .. V. WVarne,'of Calcutta, and
is designed to agitate in favor of Sun
day observance.
-Rev. Henry A. Adams, formerly
rector of St. Paul's Episcopal church
of Buffalo, and later of the Church of
the Redeemer of New York, has joined
the Roman Catholic church.
-Mrs. George WVilliam Curtis has es
tablished a free scholarship fund in
memory of her husband in the Staten
Island academy. It is the proceeds of
the edition of "Prune and I," published
last Christmas.
-A bill providing for freedom of pub
lic worship has been introduced in the
Hungarian parliament. It concedes the
right of everyone to choose the form of
religion each may prefer. Its practice,
within the requirements of public order
and morality, is guaranteed.
-In one hundred and seventy years
after the death of Christ the whole
Bible had been translated ,into Latin
by some unknown author into what is
now known as the old italic version.
By the year 200 it was extant in Greek,
Syriac and Latin, and by the ninth
century in thirteen languages.
-A conference has been suggested
of Congregationalists, Christian or
Disciples, and Free Baptists, to pro
pose a basis for a practical alliance be
tween the three denominations, .the
proposed basis to be submitted to the
representative bodies of each denomi
nation for discussion and possible rati
fication.
-Rev. Dr. E. R. Knowles, of WVorces
ter, Mass., has declined a request to
take charge of the Gallican church in
Paris, from which Pere llyacinthe has
retired. As the church is now in the
jurisdiction of the archbishop of
Utrecht Father llyacinthe can not
longer act as rector, because he mar
ried after his ordination to the priest
hood.
-The Massachusetts Home Mission
ary society last year received $152,586.
Of this amount 854,820 came from the
Swett fund, and 97,766 from all other
funds. There were sent to the Amer
ican Home 'Missionary society in New
York 8173,400; 870,689 of this through
the Massachusetts society, and $98,041
direct. There was spent in home mis
sion in Massachu.setts OS8,543.-Chris
tian at Work.
-Application has been made to the
World's Gospel union for an envangel
ist under the following conditions; A
small country church in Illinois has be
gun to plan for special revival work the
coming fall. They are now praving
earnestly that God may send them a
chosen worker as an evangelist at that
time. and one of the workers has given
ten members of the Ladies' Missionary
society a pig each. These women are to
take in washing, sweep the school
houses, etc., to get corn to fatten the
pigs, and in the fall the pigs will be
sold and the money used to pay the
evangelist.
HE WAS WELL FIXED.
a Candidate for HIonors Among the Wall
Street lagnates.
Before me on a western road sat two
admirable specimens of the genus
"hayseed." They were garrulous old
chaps and talked and chewed tobacco
as a school girl chews gum.
"I reckon we'll lose Ben Gross afore
long," said one, branching off on a
fresh topic.
"Ehl?"
"Yaas-'t won't s'prise me a bit of
Ben goes to New York an' speckelates."
"No: you don't say Ben's a gittin' 's
rich 's that!"
"Wall, I guess he's 'bout the best
fixed man in our place now, since W.
F. Simpkins died."
"'Ye don't say! ItHow much d'ye
s'pose Ben's worth now, hiled down?"
"Wall, ye kaint je'st tell." I know o'
my own sartin knowledge he has over
forty-five dollars in the bank' an' his
crop o' taters ain't dug 3it. They'll
bring him in right smart o' caslh"
"Ge whiz!"
"Ya.as-an' John Summers owes him
three dollars and seventy-five cents on
that old game of pokeryit. lie's slow,
but he's good focr it, I guess."
The other was silent for some time,
evidently ruminating upon such vast
wealth. Then he suddenly inquired:
"W'at's he goin' to monkey with in
New York?"
"Idunno. Wall street, like es not."
-N. Y. Herald.
The MItssing Link.
The hand-organ has often been voted
a nuisance, but never before, probably,
for the reason that it set up too high a
standard.
Edith .had been to church fo'r the
first time.
"And what did you think of it?"
asked her mother.
"I didn't like the organ very well."
"Why not?"
"'Tause there wasn't any monkey
with zt."-Harvard Lampoon.
Anlmal In tigence.
Watts-I tell you, old man, I saw the
most remarkable exhibition of animal
intelligence to-day that could be imag
ined.
Potts--What was it?
Watts-A bridal party started from
the house across the street from where
I live, and one of the horses attached
to the carriage threw a shoe. Now,
what do you think of that?-Indian
apoli Journal.
WVhy Ie Did So.
"Why did you tell Wearisome that
you didn't have time enough to listen
to his fish story?"
S'I thought I had just as much righi
to tell a lie as bhe had."--Brooklyn life.
A GOOD RING OR NONE.
There Is Peril In Having a Poor Stone in
an Engagement Solitaire.
"What a beautiful ring!" a young lady
exclaimed, admiringly, to her brother
the other day. "You might let me
wear it! I don't see what you are car
rying it for. You never put it on."
"WVell," the young man replied, "you
see I'm thinking of putting it on some
one. I've noticed if you can once get
an exquisite ring on a girl's hand you
can usually get the girl. There's a per
sonality about a ring someway that
does not cling to any other article of
jewelry, and it has quite a mysterious
power over the one that wears it."
The sister laughed maliciously.
"1 think you will find there are ser
eral things about a ring apart from the
personalityoof its owner that may in
fluence the wearer," she said; "its prie,,
for instance."
"You do not understand at all," he
explained. "Suppose, for instance. I
offer a diamond ring to a young lady.
I have gone into a jewelry store and
bought the biggest diamond I could
find, and then want to give it to a young
woman who knows as clearly the dif
ference between a yellow diamond and
a steely white one as you do between a
Worth dress and one made in a slop
shop. It may not have shown so plain
ly at night when she slipped it on, and
it looked big and bright, and she did
not care to examine it very closely;
but wait until daylight. .Then, as she
turns it around on her sl er finger,
she sees its yellow codMV its old
fashioned setting and the "feather"
in its heart, and, sensible girl
that she is, all these things set her
thinking. That old setting startles
her. She can't help wondering how
long ago 'George' bought the ring. and
if some other maid has worn it before
it calme to her. Then its size! Every
one will notice it, and of course every
one must see it is not a perfect stone.
There is that ugly flaw nestling away
down in its heart. George had said
the ring was an emblem of his love.
She knew he meant unending and
Sprecious, but now she wonders if there
is a flaw, too, in his love-if time will
prove him as daylight has the ring, not
half so precious as he first seemed. In
the end it is a very discontented and
worried girl the ring's owner has to
face when he calls that night, and hlie
has only himself to thank if*he gets
the ring back entirely. It's my own
opinion," the youth concluded sagely,
"that many an engagement is broken
because of so small a thing as the en
gagement ring. "-Pittsburgh Chroni
cle-Telegraph.
THE DAUGHTER OF WEALTH.
She SHa a Power that Is Pecullarly Her
dwn.
How delightful it must be to be the
only daughter of rich and doting par
ents. They toil not, but they spin in
the airy intricacies of the modern dance
with the springy lightness of a mole
cule of atmospheric ether. We con
sider ourselves quite witty in the
presence of modest little Fanny, who
has but two new dresses a year, and to
whom a walk in the park with us is
real ecstacy, but in the presence of the
rich man's daughter we are humility
itself.
1Her wit is the rarest we have ever
heard.
Her beauty is the finest we have ever
seen.
We confess to her our follies, a ctu
ated by the hope that she may first
pity, then emubrace. We hardly Care
to think of her as nestling in our arms.
We glance timidly at her feet, which
are much smaller than Fanny's, al
though she wears a larger shoe. If
her seal-skin cloak brush our arm in
the lobby of the theater we thrill with
delight.
We are sure we could make her hap
py for life, if she would only marry us.
But, hang it-she won't.--Brooklyn
Life.
lHome.
There is a vast difference between a
house and a home. The house is but
the building and the furniture-the
outward shelter and the gathering
place of the household. The home in
cludes the kindly family affection, the
thoughtful care and ready sympathy
and mutual confidence and trust of the
members. A true home breathes the
atmosphere of love. A child should be
made to feel that his home's indeed a
home-the happiest place in the world
to him-not merely an outward shelter
and resting place, but a center of en
joyment, sanctified and purified by
love, the thought and remembrance of
which shall be the safeguard of his
life as he goes forth to the world, giv
ing strength and proportion to his
character, and turning his thought to
all that may prepare for the heavenly
home when the scenes of earth shall
have passed away.-Detroit Free Press.
Withering Irony.
A young woman of this city whose
quick wit is responsible for the loss of
a number of friends has just seen an
.other retire from the list.
The young man was in a philosoph
ical mood and remarked:
"Self-study is a bad thing."
"I shouldn't be surprised," she re
sponded flippantly.
"Now, I am sure that if I were to de
vote time to thinking about myself I
should become very narrow-minded."
"Oh, yes; you'd probably have to in
order to grasp the subject."
And for the time he really felt as
she had pictured him.--Washington
Star.
A Trarde Beeret.
Townter - Did Taype marry that
rich widow to whom he pretended to
be an English lord?
Sayles--o; he gave himself dead
away. One afternoon when she wished
hiu to call her little daughter, what
did the blamed fool do but begin to
bawl out; "Cash! Cash!"-Puek.
At the Seaside.
Mr. Shabby Genteel--I desire to put
up at this hotel.
Clerk-HIIave you any baggage?
Mr. Shabby Genateel--No, sir..
Clerk-In that case the first thing you
w-ill put up will be ten dollars in adl
aance.-Tezn. Siftings
AGRICULTURAL HINTS.
I HE HANDY MECHANIC.
flow He Can Supply the Farm Kitchen
with liot Water.
A friend of mine has not only carried
water into the kitchen in pipes, but
with his own hands has made a connec
tion for the kitchen stove, which heals
an abundance of water for all house
hold purposes without lifting and with
out any danger of explosions from
steam.
A box holding 4 to20 gallonsof water
must be mounted near the sink arnd
lined with copper or tin; or a strong
iron-bound keg will do. In either case
it must not have a tight-fitting lid, or
an explosion of confined steam would
result. To fill the tank, a short piece
of pipe or trough is placed so that water
will run from the cold-water faucet into
it. (See A in cut.) Another faucet for
the water from the tank makes the
work easier than dipping it out. The
heating is done as follows: The water
tank is higher than the kitchen stove.
A pipe connected with tihe box at the
bottom is carried along the wall to the
back of the stove, enters it through the
pipe above the collar, turns in several
coils just over the oven, and passes out
as it came, ending midway in the side
of the box close to the wall. With
tight joints all the way, no leakage-a
,tin TO?
very annoying thing in any kitchen
will occur. The coldest water falls to
the bottom of the box always, whence
it finds its way to the stove, and, being
heated, returns, entering the top of the
lank by the other pipe. The arrows in
the cut show the emotion of the water.
Instead of expensively drilling the side
or back of the stove, a slot is merely cut
in the stovepipe, which is easier, and
just as effective for the entrance
of the water pipes. G;alvanized pipe
is not needed in the stove, and proba
bly it will be neccsary to get a length
coiled for the purpose by a plumber, as
this is a difficult job todo ilthout spoil
ing it. If one be fortunat enough to
own a stove or range with a water
front, of course the pipes may be simply
connected with it. Two pairs of pipe
nippers will be required to screw on
the joints, but these can easily be bor
rowed where the pipe is bought. After
taking measurements, the different
lengths of pipe can be cut and threaded
in a short time at the sa-nic place. The
only soldering required will be for the
tank and lining and pipe attachment.
If a keg be used, a strong oak one
should be selected, and the pipe screwed
into holes bored a trifle too small and
painted. When wet the wood will
swell and make a tight seam about the
pipe. Galvanized pipe, connections,
elbows and faucets may be bought so
cheap that it is a shanme not to have
many country houses arranged for coin
fort in at least the simple manner
shown, that the time and strength of
the ever-too-busy farmer's wife may
be saved. One will be surprised to see
how quickly and easily the work may
be done after the arrangements are
completed, and will wonder howx he
ever lived previously with so small a
supply of hot water. Bly using a larger
tank, water for a bathroom may 1,e al
ways warm and ready, and be coonveyed
thither by a separate pipe.-ll. Sage,
in Rural New Yorker.
LIVE STOCK NOTES.
Tni use of a pure bred sire increases
the value of the herd.
Cr.ovxn is excellent food for pigs. It
is nitrogenous, succulent and cheap
and the pigs like it.
IF enuugh farm animals are kept
to consume the crops grown on the
farm, little fertility will be removed
from it. Selling grain constantly wears
out land.
Sows wmrru produce large litters of
good pigs and are careful with them
had better be kept for breeders until
they are old. It is not profitable to ex
periment too much with young untried
sows.
KEEP some good oats in reach of
young colts until they learn to eat.. It
is a great advantage to lhave them cat
grain well when weaning time arrives.
They can be held up in flesh by in
creasing the supply of grain and it
will help them during the entire wvin
ter.
TH palatability of a food has much
to do with its value, the animal's appe
tite being a pretty good guide in feed
ing. As with men, injividual animals
have varied tastes. The food must be
suited to these or best results cannot
be attained. Different animals also re
quire different quantities of a ration.
Orange Judd Farmer.
When Clover Ia Best as Ieed.
The time during which clover as feed
is at its best is ver3- short. Only a week
or two while the plant is in full blos
som. Before that the clover is poor
and tasteless, and after it has dried
standing much of its best u.triment is
washed out of it by summer "-ains. Add
to this, that clover, more than any of
the grasses. is injured by being tramp
eled over, and we might almost make a
rule that clover ought never to be pas
tured. But as a soiling crop, from the
time the blossoms begin to appear,
clover is one of the best. On rich land
successive elttings may be made, es
peelally if the first cut is made some
what erly,
A NEW BONANZA.
Doubling the Priee of Wheat bf Conver.
La It lnteo Hoge.
The low price of wheat, and the ten
dency to still lower prices, seems to
present an opportune time to call the
attention of the farmers of the wheat
districts in northern Minnesota and
the Dakotas to the high price of hogs.
At the present prices of hogs recent
experiments seem to demonstrate that
by fattening hogs on wheat, the farmer
may realize more than $1 per bushel
for his wheat, now worth at the farm
40 to 5p cents, and which, after freight
has been paid to Minneapolisor Duluth,
is worth only about 62 or 63 cents. At
present prices, the largest car load of
wheat (1,000 bushels) in St. Paul is
worth only about $620, while a car load
of hogs of the same weight (60,000
pounds) would be worth $3,360.
The hog matures at the age of six to
nine months. Hence if it is true that
50-cent wheat when turned into pork
becomes worth more than 81 a bushel,
the business of raising hogs by the
wheat farmer promises large profits
and quick returns.
Now let us see what evidence there
is upon the value of wheat for fatten
ing hogs.
Upon this point the following state
ment - .s been made: "A farmer in one
of the best corn and wheat counties in
central Illinois was so reluctant the
past season to sell his wheat at the pre
vailing prices that he thought he would
convert it into pork. He was greatly
pleased at the result. lie had 82,000
worth of hogs, and fattened them al
most on wheat, using a little corn. His
method was to soak the wheat in warm
water twenty-four Jhours before feed
ing. In cold weather he let the water
come to a boil in the kettle and then
poured in the wheat and put out the
fire. When it cooled it was soaked
enough and ready to feed, which he did
immediately. He weighed the hogs be
fore commencing to feed and kept a
strict account of the weights of all grain
fed; also figured the corn at 35 cents
and the fat hogs at 43j cents. Said he:
'The wheat just brought me $1.01 per
bushel.'"
From this statement it would seem
that wheat is worth $1.01 per bushel to
feed when hogs are worth 4'- cents per
pound. The present price of hogs in
St. Paul market is 5.6 cents, which, on
the above basis, would make wheat
worth $1.2.5 per bushel.
The v, itcr is informed that during
the last few months twenty-four full
carloads of fat hogs have been sold at
the South St. Paul market which were
raised in northern Dakota ant fattened
entirely on wheat, sometimes fed in the
manner pointed out by the Illinois
farmer and sometimes converted into a
rude "graham flour" before feeding.
The unanimous testimony of the raisers
has been to the effect that by feeding it
they had realized over one dollar per
bushel for their wheat. The quality of
the product of such hogs is said to be
superior to the product of the corn-fed
animals. If this is true, it seems to open
up the possibility to the wheat farm
ers of introducing to the markets of the
world a brand of American pork which
in timne would become as famous as
MIinnesota hard wheat, and, like it,
command the highest prices and the
best markets.
It is certainly a matter worthy of
consideration.-A. B. Stickney.
SPLENDID EGG CASE.
It lines Avnty With racking or Preserr.
inJg 3\IterIals.
For those who have eggs to save we
give a design of an egg case by Mr.
Thomas C. HIope, of New Jersey. It
may he nmade of any size preferred.
The egos are turned by taking out a
tray of eggs, placing an empty tray
over them, grasping both trays tightly
at the ends and then turning them
over, which brings the lower tray on
top anl leaving it free to be used as
AS EGe CASE.
the empty tray for the next one to be
turned.
In the illustration, A A is the body
of the case, 11 li B II B are strips, one
inch square, nailed four inches apart,
on which the tray slides, and K is one
of the trays. This arrangement is a
great labor-saving one, as the eggs in
each tray may be easily turned in half
a minute. It is best not have the case
too large. Trays holding fifty eggs
each are handled with less difficulty
than larger ones It is important to
turn eggs at least three times a week
when saving them, and the egg case
should be in a cool place. If eggs,
from hens not in yards with roosters
are used, they will keep several months
in this case. Simply lay the eggs on
the trays, as no packing or egg-preserv
ing materials are necessary.-Farm and
Fireside.
How to Wash sheep Tags.
First sort the tags to get the cleanest
ones by themselves. If you get two or
more grades you will save time in
weshing. Take a tub of soft water, as
warmn as you can work in. Plut one
grade of the tags in, stir them up, don't
leave them soak to exceed ten minutes m
WVring themt out. A common cloth
wringer is the best. Get another tb
of warm water to rinse the tags
in. This water will do to moak
the second tub of tags i. Place
the tags in the sun to dry iM
stir them up once or twice a day. Be
careful not to let it rItun on them. I ,
this way you will have nice white Wooll
from your tags. If they soak too long , .
it will stain the tags.- - Wool and M'a6
ton. -_,
GtDoo feeding and breeding must go;.
hand in hand. The one to be a saccesa '
uaust be supplemented bpthe other.oo f i a

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