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OAIBORN 1 GOFUARDIAN VOL' 1. 1 HOMER, LA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMDEr 5, 18770. One yer in adae,......... .....f %I months " .............. 150 Three " " ............... I -S Toms of AMlsrgl One equare, of sem laeb ie oe les fint insertion, $1 00; each ti las ier tim,. 50 rents. prostloeal andl imtness eards, of tee line or les in length; 91A per sannum f si mothl $10; io b three months, . lisinees5tdverTd5imeats of greater will be inaerted at lower rate, as may .t adrtiselment. will be charged at legal rates, where fned by law; otherwise t eerial rates as publishbed above. r upecial notices 90 cents per lie. Funeral notels of less than tea lines and marriage and relgious notices insertel gratis. Jab.work executed in the neatest style and at reasonable prices. August Z, 1i7.. A LITTLE ELOW RO00M. BY AICIIPJI ALLEIt54PN. t'ome fri.,nd, don't crowd no very tight, There's roonm enonugh for twou; Keep in your mind that I have a right To live as well as you. You rich and strong. I poor sand weak, Rot think you I presume When nuly this mmor boon I ask A little elbow rom no Tir sumh as you, the rich amt strong, if von hut have the will, Cnalla give the weak a lift along, " Anad help him up the hill. lint oh-you jostle, crowd and drive, You storm andt fret and fume; Are you the only man alive In want of elbow room ? Hrut thus it is on life's round patlh, Sel seems the Ukod of all ; The strong will crush the weak to death, The big devour the small, Far better be a rich man's hound A valet, serf l r goom That struggles 'ami the mass aroundml, Shen we're no elbow room. I'l heart, my boy ! d'eat mind the shock; Up heart and push alng! Yr.kln nill grow rmegh with knocks, your limbs with labor strong; And there'e a bal anseen to aid, A star to light the gloom t'p heart. any boy, nor be abaid, d-trike out for elbho room. And a ben ye see amid the throng A fellow teller slip, Ju is e bm as you pass long, A bravse d kindly Irip ; Let nobl. e , thoou poor\ yo be, Yeur mt is Ule Ihr le, And wit tre Christian e4l1), Give otbhe elbow room. M8. CLARKI' COSTUME WHAT A PRYING REPORTER LAW AND HEARD AT A COUNCiL O0 PREALK RKPORMXIER. At preisely fifteen minuotes to three o'clock yesterday, an attenuo ted hlady with the light of truth beaming n tshe end of her nose and a big bundle under her arm, skipped up the stairway leading to An theny's HBalL At the top of the stair way she was met by the "Vice gA nt of Christ," etc., Dr. Pink. am, LL. D., F. B. 8., the great moral reformer of the age. The Vicegerent greeted the attenuated female with a holy smirk and a warm grasp of the hand, lad after a moment's sweet oemmunion ushered her into the bhalL -he lady was the good Mrs. Clark, bampioan of the dress reformers, and the bundle *leb arm contained something ~ wished to show to Iur Sadie h6 were expected to be pres eant in the hall when she entered. Having entered the room, Mrs. Clark observed with considerable chagrin that there were but two persons preent. One was a lady il ba~t;ar"th watery eye end slivery hair. The other was a Chbroele reporter, rather awkwardly gotten upin female ati. The latter wore a big bustle, three false erls, a black alpaca dres and a short jacket that displayed his beautiful form to perfetion. He mt in fear and trembling lest bis sex should be disaeovered but happily he esemaped close scrutiny. Mrs. Clark mounted the platform, and, after waiting patiently, though in vain, for an audiene, proceeded to untie her Fist, however, ahe bebtoned to )r. Piukham. That celestial benlag asme forward, sad, trippinlg ap to be platferm, tood, with a heavenly mie, rawaiting ordets "Doetor,• se mid, "etand at the door, pleas lid don'let l a e i the rom. I am going to array yself into my re fore garments. The Adjutant of the Ian bowed, and, with a blush, debparted r tim entrance. There he stood like a rim maotinel. "Doe r, mid th good Mrs. Clark, "you 11117 plme p essd the eoor. I albt e worthy Doctor, ** IH n wear ouat with a dis. -- ea, bte as thles e sete Simm las tie i neese tbob ~T~r d teusat was well outside of the door, Mrs. Clark resumed the untying of her big beadle. "I have brought bore, ladles," abe said, "a suit which I have de. sigted as the uniform of the Order, sad it is one that I should like to have worn by every member on the oecasion of our parade on the Fourth of July. In order that you may see how it looks I propose to put it on." With this Mrs. Clark removed her little brown straw hat, with its brown vail, untied her little neck. ribbon and proceeded to unbutton her dress. The Chronicle man's breath came quick and sharp, but be resolved to stand'it, come what .might. The cold perspiration stood out on his forehead like moisture on a toad's back bt thethiok, spotted rail he wore hid it from the gaze of the other la-dy. After some further fussing with the front of her dress the good lady put her hand inside and brought onut soomething that looked like two robins' nests joined together with a string. These she laid down on the little desk in front of her. Then she thrust her hands iinside again and untied a whole lot of white strings anid things. Then, with a little shrog of the shoulders and a quick squirm or two, her black alpaca dress went back and the reporter caught the dull gleam of a bare arm and somethitng white around it. lie covered-his face with his hands and held them there. lie couldn't stand it any longer. There was a rustling, a thumping about on the platform, and inally a voice which said:, "There, ladies, now I will put on the garments of reform." The reporter looked up and was inexpressibly shocked at the good Mrs. Clark's appearance. She looked like a white gazelle. Her form eu tirely divested of outer garments resembled in chariter that of a half starved greyhound; her limbs were like antelope's limbs, and her scanty white garments seemed. hardly big enough, to envelope a tallow candle. "I will now pat on thl.pantaloons," said the good lady; and with this she sat down and rather awkwardly shot one leg into them and then the other. Fastening them aronnd her waist abe put on a short calico skirt which reached just below the knee. Then thrusting her arms into a little jacket or cost, the novel attire was complete. The trowsers were eat straight and reached quite to the instep, and they were made of some dark coarse materiaL The good lady did not feel quite at home in her new rig, for she went strutting about in a painfully awkward way. Having comipleted the bchangio toilet, the good lady hammered on tbhe des, and the Vicegerent en tered timidly. "Doctor, you may open the door now,5 she said. In a moment half a dozen, more ladies entered and took seats, highly amused at the appearance of the ap paritio on the platform. The half dose ladies being seated, Mrs. Clark proceeded in all solemnity with the business of the day. After the reading of the minutes, the lady read aloud the agreement, which she Invit d hean pr emaft all vis: to adopt the style of dress in which she then appeared, and march Ia the preesalesm with it o the Fourth of July. There was not a single signature rorthooming, and after some little time the good lady-with a toss of her bhead remarked that it was evi dent the hearts of those present were not in the movement. One very thin lady said she thought she could hardly consent to wear therig that Mrs. Clark ap. peared in, but she would like to have a little discssion about under clothes There was no doubt in bei. miad but there was much room for impr rement in the construction of ladies' underwear. For her.4rt she had always woro.n garters, but she believed that to maintain the ymmetry of the limb the stockinug aboad be botoned to an elasutie reaching to the cor- A Lady, inu3lack (rising)-I al. ways wear mine fastened to the Mrs. Clark (hurriedly)-Doetor, yaou ean't oome in jnst now. You maust not be her,, sir. The Lord's ietenanet had heard a whisper of what was oing on outside the door, and had glided In. He retired mneh dkppulnted. "As I was say eas-etlnd the. thin lady, "I am ',ietly oppead to bvbg th oe , w p of seadety mp Its limh wth elastle I garters. hbald be were with elegies based atthe waist.' h- lady t Ntask-Ast- I wa I warl m i b ened u'IrrrJ U(b4iuinhCujll. I Oh! they stay p well enough on Smg limbs, though I hardly think from appearanoes, that they would ona hi Ld (an grily)-ldeed, Madam, I ues, i the truth was Sknown, myI--. Mrs. Clark (rapping on the ble) i-The ladies will please maiutain order. (Looking toward the door). LDr. Pinkham, Iy'e told you before that you cau't be here. You must a go out, sir. One or two of the ladies here looked up and seeing the Vicegeront I gave a little screamr, at which that celestial being again withdrew with a treoubled look. s The Thin Lady (resuming)-There i .another reform in underwear that i would like to speak of, and that i the abolishing of the chemise. T11,0 .never was a more useless garment worn than that. The Lady in Black (cruelly) Nonsense; what would yeou wear in stead ? Tile Thin lady--I wouldn't wear anything. Chorus of Voices-Oh, horror! why, what would we look like t The Lady in Black (maliciously) Like schooners scudding under bare Mrs. Clark-Ladies, it we can not arrive at any conclusion with refer ence to these great reforms, 1,think we had better adjourn until next week. At this, juncture a melancholy looking lady of about fifty, who had kept silent all through the proceed. iegs, arose and said that there was another matter that shle would like to bring before the meeting, and that was a subject which, if fully understood and rightly appreciated, would make ladies supremely happy; would end their greatest troubles; would enable them to keep their youth and beauty, and keep their husbalds in love with them much better than shorter skirts or the abo. lition ot the ornamental underwear I which so much delights the eye. There was an expression of won der upon every face as the melan cholylady made thislittle speech. "I refer," she continued, "to the necessity of retrenchment in child rearing " 'The Lady in Black (sententious. ly)-Oh, nonsense! That's not to be thought of. Why, how are you going to prevent The Thin Lady-I am decidedly in favor of the lady's suggestion, and 1 think it perfectly feasible. The Lady in Black (with a sneer, and a queer glance at the thin lady)-I dare say. Mrs. Clark (with a little smile)-, I think two children are quite enough to come into any "family. The Lady in Black-That's all very true, but how are you going to regulate that except by total- several Voices (interrupting) Oh! we couldn't think of that! That's perfeotnonsense. Dr. Piukhsm (who had just come in, despite repeated warnings)--Ahl if you will excuse me, ladies, I think 1 in the realms of celestial tboughj it will be impossible for spirits to embody the conditions of their an. thropophagal natures without rising "--igtea shr--e- -The spirit l al and other necessities of man and the lower animals can not be sap. plied is the celestial vaults of the direct and positive channels pro vided in the Universal Central Con.1 gress of Celestials and the World's i Heaven!y Congress of Spirits, un. less- The lady in Blark (interrupting) I -, heavens! let's adjourn. The 1 Doctor has begun a speech. After an agreement to discuss the I propagation question the next meet. ing, an adjournment was had until April 27, at 3 p. m.--as Fraciaeo Chroxie. A man outon West Hill was griev. oualy tormented with a Thomas cat. And he determined to slay the same. 8o be caught the cat, put it in a bucket, covered it with a board, inteading to sit down on it, intend. lag to 6l the bucket with *ater and thes drown the T. C. But, as he sat down, the active prisoner pushed away the board, nd when the man a eand esmtemred into the houae I to look for the "Extract of Witch. I Ilasel, he could not tell whether be had just sat down on a stovelid, or I merely slid down a shellbark biek. I ry tree and ~it in a gooseberry boab. And, that naght, a worn, sleriag mwan, lyng on his thee tryilg to etgh4 was e listened totshe oin smile at a twevpoudeead ea tiwodsh45-Ld.-t.IENtps Au thiwthre Demsts ms s•s t- leleia S th QCar NsW Talks. Those who dam read can eerne ly realise the lfeasure derived from literary pursuits, or the appetite for reading which grows upon uas by indulgeee. It opens to us a new world; oew thoughts, new aspire tous spring up, filling life with countless riches. But care should be used in the selection of books. Mach of the morbid sentimental writing of the day should be exelu. ded from the family circle, andonly such admitted as containo healthy and truthful teachings. Would that fathers and mothers appreciated the great importance of evening readings at home. How many yeg men might thus he -sved fi-l ruin by furnishing for. hoe Betoe pleasures, instead of leaving them to find their own amusement among, perhaps, the die. solute and degraded. Let them rather listen to the reading of well written stories or biographies, and gradually they will become interest ted, and learn to prefer the quiet en joyments of home. SMany think that all romances should be excluded from the read ing of the young. This is clearly a mistake; for where else can they so truly learn the manners and cus tome of other countries? Histories tell of their political events; and while the greatest importance should be attached to this class of reiding, much can be learned from a lighter class which it is not the province of histories, travels or deeper works to touch upon. Take for example the pure writings of Fredrica Brewer, from whose sweet home pictures we have gathered more of the inner life of Sweden than from all other -onreeL So also the grand old romances of Sir Walter Scott, whose pages embody so much of the early histo ry of Scotland. And when op pressed by care or sorrow, what a relief to the mind is the perusal of some of Dickens' stories, such, for instance, as "David .C'opperfleld," or the "Old Curiosity Shop," which so touched the heart that we cannot wonder at the great good he has accomplished. Many- writers ren der us dissatisfied with life. Dick. ens, on the contrary, by the magic of hbis pen, infutses beauty into the lowliest home, and we turn from his pages contented with our Ist, seeing new charms in the every day churnu of our lives. Among biographers we have our own Washington Irving, whose pare life and writings will ashine with an diammed splendor through all time. And thus could be enumerated many whose lives have proved such blessings to mankind. Cultivate, then, this taste in your families. Bring to your firesides the rich treasures of genius, scatter ed so profusely around us, and thus prepare your children to enter upon the great areua of life, strengthened to resist its temptations. Let them read of those men who, by their indomitable energy and pverseverance, bave overcome the greatest obstacles; who through privation and poverty, have won the gratitude of the world by their icTentifa discoveries, or whose elo quence have stirred the heart of na ions. God has intrusted those ehildrel to yoa-not simply to care for the body, but also to cultivate-'the im mortal mind. Seek, then, to awak en within them an ambition to live for some noble purpose, that they may, when years have passed away, look back with unmeasured bles ings on the lessons learned at the home fireside. Bone Felon.-The London Lanoot mays: "As soon as the disease is felt, ~ut directly over the spot a fly blister about the size of your thmpab nail and let it remain for six bours, at the expiration of which time uirectly under the surface of the blister may be seeu.the felon, whieh an instantly be taken out with the point of a needle or a lanceSt." Save and plant your peell-seed. bhriodtry is poor in orchards, yet nothing is more deserving our atteo tioo n and industry. Let ur have rlts of every d~escription and varie t in town and country. Fruit is -ealthy, ctonveleut, a lusary, sad -may be made paSy welli uesathoms - well as for the market, whieh the rilroads are fust develogig. The disagreeable taste gives to milk Iad btter vies the evs are d spus taralps mary be sretaally .a--ed by s see d a little em ise (or esispatre). A pes , mm-purs-, mis - hesIs Oa etg sad vest~uiud u Ster beets, multd mat-, baelid wdl s a-bnte. Fen Ahd. Tihe Bea. E. W. Stomghtoe, as societe eouasi with Everts before the Electoral Comemimion, him of the snowy looks, whom Pierrepoat chiseled out of the Bglish tission, will, we ae tickled to lear, io the September number of the North Amriace Renriew reply to Black's article on the "Electoral Coaspir. acy," which appeared in the July number. Poor Stoughton! the' god have made him mad, and delivered hibl into the bands of tha.aoofer. Job's prayer, that his enemy would only write a book, is answered, after many years, in the person of Judge Black, and the pitiful condition of the scabby patriarch will be rap ture to that or 8toughton- when "Joer" has done for him. It is too late now to stay Stongh ton's hand, or we would not breathe a syllable of his intent. His article mnat be set- up by this time, and the proprietors of the Rerier,, know ing what a demand it will provoke, wouldn't distribute tho type for-any price. Stoughton is foredoomed, prede.tiHe as Ialznac would have call ed him. In his article on the Great Fraud Judge Black disappointed the multitude, who missed the bi ting irony and scathing anorn which that gentleman commands in so great degree. But to the critical, it was evident that the emorcAetur withheld his band for obvious rea sons, and these confldently expected that some rash creataet would criti ciae his work and give him the stimulus and provocation be needed for the full sweep of his knife. Stoughton has offered himself up as theictim, and when Judge Black has flayed him predict that no sue cessor will tempt his fate. The November number of the North Americas Ieriew will be well worth its cost, and we give it this notice in advance, grstia.-O. 0. Dnesorrt. No Distination of Color or Raeo. Mr. Paris, a colored person wi9 has figured in our Legislature, and Afed several positions of hbqor and trust in the State governmeat, and is a notable chief of the Radical par ty in. the rear of the Third Ward, is at present a suffering martjr to. his principles. It happened thos Amopg his other enterises, Paris kee drinking boose at the corner of MI rais and Canal. This "asloon," at dram shops or doggeries are e phemistically styled, is divided by a latticed partition into twocompart mentsa one for colored and the other for white people. This division has been regarded by some of the more radical of the colored elemean as a clear infraction of the 14th amend ment, and of the State statutes so vigorously administered by the late Barney Lynob. One day last week a very steot, able bodied colored .mae, who holds this view, stpped into the saloon to asslage his thirst, walked up to the white attendant at the bar, on the wrong side of the partition and asked for a whisky smas. The attendant told him he most Swithe ether-eatsof tk screen, where colored men get their drinks. "Is them the orders of Mr. Parls? "Yes, sir," was thereply. "Then call him in." Paris was called, and appeared. "Did you gie-any such orders as dat niggers must go behind dat screen to take deir drinks?" "Yes sir, I did," was the prompt answer. "Then, I'l teach you to respect the constitution." And with this the stalwart African brother proceeded to belabor the distinguished Radical chief over the bead and shoulders with a vigor which entitled him to taike rank with Daniel Webster as an expoundqr of the eonstitution. Mr. Paris had to hastem to the rear est apothecary to repair the damages indlicted by his strict construction brother--k. 0. DIm'erat. A eertain pompous judge Amed sveral lawyers 510 eaeb for sou tempt of ooart. Alter they had paid teimr Ian, a sieed.y-goag old attorney walked gtravely ap to the beanh ad laid down a te-dollar bhilL "What s that for? inguired tbe Jud.. "For eoutempt, rour Homr? uWhy, I have not-bed yous h a emspt." "I know tbatt? said the tor y,"bet I wat you to au·iwdr I abrui i- reat aetempt fr this cour ll the time, sad I - wilitag toejpy ir iL. somelt/e, gt as sae Suday th (ge ** The washegtse W lices 7ys the 3 have am etrasr portan work l atitutios prvldulh urn oayelseleg ths |! have to e..llr. the labor "-"e the ppnleve sad the prspet tha tIh rlroe ahLd. d. rand b sers.. present aunusal an aest wintr, o St ese osene etr -Ex -oernor i "he out of politics. sad 3 time feeling the Igrum for teeth, and-try e to to walk. And w simnltaneously . mitte worst kind of noogat ation colic, Pack s -4 bed and holds his heade ears and says, "Mere@IM This is wore tbhn the iabes."-.Hake•e. In Burlington the the men ditto, the as the old maridse are cat don' agrlee, the agree, they can' et nail factories, rollg they've got the m amp wioo ping-ougb, n corner lot on t the k M Muscatine Trtbuee. thou lied. The mgie ton neglect their doseled think of sweet, leving of each other the a s night, Shake ts sad d there never was but s girl In Burlington, and sid shabmed of It that sh Muscatine mua na the s0110 of suicide, the eats as doves and wooldn't kiae howl "Maris" if they wateSd editors are all brothers, brothers, who aend seeka e day presents of besuttlI and ard wood and sadl and bottled b-r b-r, aId water works and nail rolling mills and a strikes sad three with bu0 everything. Comes lowe us befoes you abue 5% -ou, vemooame, ed sUgh -awkeye. She wore a little lowers upon her "feerfbity ad hbe w bs abont to ress i foest e a dsay, adlJuJ lifted her ight to skirts, tbe goldse ths sabtts stopped s sutcking e as sdlaS a pulmpbealdle, Ild with mnewafewn a, mI ' ia Ide baeek like seat for war, he lisaghed t al bad about it. I -A Poertsweth, IU who was ioasidreet "come in" after he he git home from e other Sunday evesa , we to stop to Oifky pyTes.t eas-e on very see, pious bosehbolde le one of o nr namb rectel towa his he took h hat sad lr ceremony. A fais male rse ibg eays tbra '"whe enw the -those SmMh, ead the._ tbo things her own pr to wear, if t mwant Ar the tion of solg she di wh rbe shesld de.' srain 1 seewehs a Ciwbolrr