The independent., May 01, 1861, Image 1

About The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??

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NDEN
« V
—
-iv£:.ÆAîsv '
n .nforem
j Terms—Two Dollars a Year, in adranec,
( or $2.§0 after two months.
Y OHME 7|
<r aZ »si irjL'5?i» s-i
HARRISONBURG, CATAHOULA PARISH, LA., WEDNESDAY, MAY I. 1861.
{NUMBER 43
dm
dm
Si )c ^jcriMttterf jnb cpcnbcnt.
ISSUED EVERY WEDNESDAY EVENING.
TEEM :
Twp Dollars pftr annum in advance, o r
Tiro Dollars aud Fifty Onm after the lapse of
two months. *•
Xo Subscription discontinued until all arrears are
settled, and an order to that effect
Advertisements insert«! at «1 per square for the
«rat insertion, and Piftj cents for each continuance,
TB* LIMBS or less constitute a Square.) A liberal
deduction made to those who advertise by the year
nnd on long advartiedments. . _
For announcing candidates for Pariah offices |5
•will be oharged— foi ail other offices, $10, invariably
* V<» V rimwi** eseptUd *ri'h aeatuess and P unc '
e on deli
taaiity. Payable
livery
>
ÄiRRiAoes and Die atm, aud Religious notices
published free of charge* ; .
Yearly Contract* Payable Quarterly.
Steim » >at rflices for the season ...... $15 00
One squire one year .... » .........15 Off
. .1 " six months . . ..........0 00
Two squares ouo year........•..... 2« 00
u -i six months . . . ........1500
One column one year. -............60 00
u " nix tnontk» ........40 00
P-ofmioual curds, not over ffve lines, per *
..... ................. ........ 10 00
All letters pertaining to the business of-the estai,.
> ahinent to be addressed J. Q. A. Taliaveero,
NEWSPAPER LAW.
1. Subscribers who do not give Express Notice
*o the contrary, are considered R* wishing to con
itinue their subscription.
i. If subscribers order the discontinuance of thei
p i ors, the publisher may continue to send them.;
all that U due be paid.
8. If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their
napers from the office to which they are directed,
iihey ire held responsible until they have settled
•.heir bllU> and ordered their paper discontinued.
4. If subscribers remove to other places, without
informing the publisher, sud the paper is sent to
the former diiection, they are held responsible.
in The courts have decided thst refusing to take
a papei or periodical from the offiee, or removing
:.nd having it uncalled for, is prima facie evidence
of intentional fraud.
«. The United States courts have also repeatedly
derided that a postmaster who neglects to give sev
lonaide notice, as required by the Post Office De
partment, of the neglect or refusal of a person to
lake frsin the office newspapers addressed to him,
I coders the postmastei liable to the publisher for the
subscription price.
y. Newspapers are not chargeable with postage
. w; ti»in the cot nty or parish in which they are printed
' MARKS A N E W M AN
DEALERS IN
RR Y GOODS , GROCERIES
Hardware, Clothing, Medicine*, Shoot, Hate,
And all Articles generally kept inn Country Store,
AY THS VBKT LOWEST PRICES, »TUER FOU
ca*»u .oaLAüABOVA» crédit,
|W* Highest Prices J*aii» For Corn».
David Marks.
Isidore Newham. Jan. 4, 1860.
1-7
IRA AC BHLBNKKR. * ALEX, an LINKER
I. IHLENKEB Ic BROTHER
DRY GOODS AND GROCERY
MERCHANTS.
Cormcr or Catahoula amd Sicilt Streets.
HARRISONBURG.
<*MT Keep constantly supplied with a large and
-carefully selected stock, whieh we «Sir on inviting
i terms. Consisting of
Plantation Dtp Good* it i mHBcst oariety.
READY MADEJ&OTHWQi
BOOTS AND* SHOES,;
EATS AND 0AP1
tP8{
TIN, WOOD, GLASS, and
.QUEENSWARE; HARDWARE,
CASTINGS, Ac., An. , ■
YAMILY OROCbRIER— a full supply. I-.
XXtO.4.1660,
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A4 MmAM, HEW ORLMANB.\
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ORTHOPEDIC INFIRMA SY
DB8. _______________
No. Ell OmrtmitDt ilrwf,
and Jaiia oteotta, No» Orltamt, La.
|R «n$ew lg a» < A>ffu ffi l ill iMWA Iii / , InsE
abeve Basse,
MERCHANTS.
5 Gravier »treat, New Orleane.
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PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
DR. W. 1. LOVE,
OFF ICE,: :::::::::: ::TB1K11T, LA
Jan. 28, 1861.-y. '
Doha P. Elan,
PARISH SUR YEYOR.
Address Trinity, La. Feb 18, '61—y.
DR. JOHN M. HA WKINS,
SURGEON A PHYSICIAN ,
O FFICE—Residence ef Mr. 6. U. Patillo, French
Fork, Little River, La. All calls attended
with strict attention. A full stock of Re Heines.
April 11, '58. V51;ly
ALEXANDER R. HENDRY.
ATTORNEY A COUNSELLOR AT LA W,
Harrisonbnrr, Louisiana.
W ILL ATTEND to Collections in the Parishes
of C.it.ihouU, Caldwell, Franklin and Concor
dia. Will also attend the Sessions of the Supreme
Court at Monroe and New Orleans.
May 9, 1860. 6-46-y
J. HAWKINS.
CUNY * HAWKINS.
jttUrirys at fa».
Offiee—Harriiffibirg, U.
f#" Will Practice in the Parishes of Catahoula,
oncordia, Franklin and Caldwell.
E. 0. SMITH. W. B. SPENCER
SMITH A SPENCER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in the pariihet of Concordia, Cata
ho,da, Caldwell, and Frankhn.
Office —Harrisokbcro, La.
May 80, 18*0. 6:51:1 y
M. C. A T. 11. LEWI8,
ATTORNEYS at LAW.
W ILL PRACTICE iu Catahoula and"adjoining
Parishes.
Offiee in Hirriiffibarg, Lt.
IT. Burg, La. Aug. 22, 18*0. 7-8-T.
few lettre.
G. SPENCER MAYO and O. MAYO,
UAVING formed
taira nn til
a legal partnership to
take effect on the first of May 1861, will
after that dato promptly jptend to all legal
business confided to them in the Parishes of
Catahoula and Franklin.
H. Burg, La. April 17, 1861. 7-41-tf.
MR, RICHARD H. HARRIS,
9 KING PERMANENTLY LOCATED IN
THE TOWN OF HARRISONBURG,
tenders his professional service* to the pub
lia. AH call* left at Mr. lioseabergér's store
promptly attended to.
Office, next door to Randolph's new build*
mg
H. Burg, La. April 17,1861. 7-41-y.
DR.
May 2,1860.
M. HAY®,
HARRISOKBURG, LA
• 4*:y
DR. Jl A. COHEN,
S«|MR Staut*.
HARRISONBHXO, La.
jar Prompt attention g»v«» »» «*«•
from the country.
Jan. 18,1880. $-S0-f.
DR.
D% CASTLEBERRY,
orna * aw* awaniawow.
June 2,1858.
M*7
11 ÜcrLY IBL AKD. au* »««^»7- ■
Office at thfftas rntn'aaa d Esq.
» i860, :i Mf-J. it
DR.
ruVDERS IBS
tbe
DR. T. It. CAYRTT.
Coders his Professional» services to
fteblie. .
Office — ob Mr.B.R. Holsteins planUtioa,
BicHy Island, La.
April 10, I860. 8-48 -t.
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health,
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sWiAHMritii ! Over te «hew
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W,
We heartily commend to'our reader«, ir
respective of sex; tbe following article on
-'woman'a mission," which wo take from the
Selma (Aia.)Reporter. The author (who we
believe is a "young man") seems to fully ap
preciate the noble qualities of woman, and
he justly deserves the good opinion and "ap
proving smile" of tbe young ladies every
where :
In commencing this article we beg leaf to
say that we have not the vanity to suppose
that we can enumerate all the great and
good purposes which a kind and beneficent
Providence designed to accomplish in the
presentation of woman to man ; but we de
sire simply to allude to a few of Abe most ap
parent duties she was intended to perform,
and to comit to paper a few of the thoughts
with which their contemplation has impresed
us. In the begining God said ! "It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will
make a help meet for him." It seenia then,
from the language of the Bible, that God in
tended woman to be a help for man—a help
meet for him; that is suited to his nature,
condition and wants. But how is woman to
help man f She has not strength to wield
tbe %xe or guide the plow or engage in tbe
mechanical pursuits, and if she bad the
strength and tbe will, the usages of society
forbid her doing so. *We«affiim that if wo
man could do all these, and it was in accor
dance with the usages of society for her to
do so, if she could with-perfect propriety (so
far as custom is concerned) and with equal
e#ge » 0 | ler husband every day to bis
- nr v* i ... ,L J n „\A
ttamtnJi
work, aud share all his toils, she would not
I be a help meet for biro. No. It is woman's
; mission to remain at home and watch with
I jealous care the earnings of her husband—
j to see that «nothing is wasted or misap
pliod—to see that his house—is kept
I in order—to meet him on his return
j from the day's labor with a smiling face and
j hearty welcome—to ruakeff him feel and
know lhat there is one spot on earth where
the troubles and csresof life never come, that
there is ever a loving, trustiog heart that
beats in unison with his own, and a face
beaming with happy smiles that will drive
care and trouble frem his perplexed brain.
It is her mission to minister to him in the
hour of sickness—to anticipate bis every
wanl, and ever be by his bedside to comfort
and cousole him. It is her mission to read
for him God's holy Word, to point out its
precious promises and by the example of a
fend and lovi ng w ife teach him io put his
~ jJhsasaâiELaaRAg iiro M tj .. p « « ii n ■ »
own. It is her mission to stamp tbe char
'
he
acter of her children forever in favor of the
great truths of Christianity,—to "train them
up in the way they should go." It is her
mission by her quiet, unassuming course of
conduct—her Christian forbearance and for
titude to scatter broadcast o'er the land, the
seeds of a morality and piety that will ger
minate and "bring forth fruit an hundred
fold." It » her mission to ao*eonduct herself
that the ihfidel will stand abashed in her
presence nod the atheist bow his bead in
sjbame as he contemplates the being before
him apt) thinks that be has ever said so an
gelic a creature oould have been created by
a power leas than Almighty—by tbe band of
any bat the Christina's God. It is her mis
siou to nerve her husband's arm to bear op
gainst the troubles slid trials of life—to
strengthen and sustain him through a!! the
vicissitudes of fortune, and prove by her con
duet,that Ihoogh ell the world forsake him
there iff one fond, faithful, trusting heart that
throbs an echo to every pulsation of bis own.
Oh what a noble; what a God-like mission!
A mission that could only be discharged or
one fflled with "faith, hope and love, a trini
ty of virtnrea found only in those a little low
at then the angels." When we have seen
a woman fulfilling this her noble mission
faithfully, we have been overwhelmed with
tbe goodness of God to man, and onr wicked,
stubborn heurt has bowed In meek <*ubmiia
ion re His will as we contemplated His mer
cy. When we have left oarhomesfor dis
tant lands (and it has been onr lot to do so
more time* than one)and the tearofa fair
haired sister g Jittered on onr hind, and a
format "God bless my boy !" trembled on
tha Kpe of a kind, loving mother, we have
felt that to doubt tbe goodness and the mer
cy of God vontd be * blasphemy of whieh
it woold be aiment impomible to repent; end
wie* temptations bave assailed ns. aad all
dw leads of Jbeil seemed tamed loom in «ne
solid column to dreg ns into the vorve x of
ruin, wo have remembered the prayer« of
a mother and sister, sad am bam been snfc.
is womsn's mi s sio n . When sire til
falftliedthat miarion onr eountry wiHbe pros
perous and happy. God's Holy Word wNI
ha tha coastsnt companion of oar youth,
and tha religion of ear hfoared Savior wfll
be (be comfort sad eoaealatfoa of Ml oar
A Hin Crow».—A dwpateb in tk*
Richmond Eaqairer fives tbe following
of tha strengere who now abound aft
Tfce Inferior appearance, pinched
etAurife# feature*, and scanty wardrobes
die tWteffn d visitors bora, is tbe subjec
The conductors of the
in* ray that ns an average
trank to ouo hundred
fore ftuppUed with
Md
m tbo
»
ir
on
we
to
to
to
£L Very Kama Bread. I
Csnduotor K——, being desirous of pro- j
cubing some garni eggs, wherefrom to raise i
till!
m t
a brood o( tighlfcg coeks, was referred to j
Qbl. Frank B--V, whose fondness for the !
breed is only expelled by his powers of
iUghtually exageiating the fighting propen
sities of his particular stock.—In reply to |
K—s, request fora few eggs, the Colonel :
being too high-toned to sell, and not in
dined to give, slew two birds with the same j
stone, i. e. bluffed K—off, and gave the|
reputation of liis birds n lift at the same j
tine, as follows: "l tell you what, K— , I ;
have but one stock-bird left, and he is an
awful fellow. He is the same one, you ]
know that represented the South .in the i
great five
te !
j{ j
i- !
fight tlial took
hundred dollar national cock
lace at Baton Rouge tl
other daj. Well, sir, he cleaned out the
Western cock, and with one lug disabled,
pitched into the Yankee and killed him
outright,losing the other.leg in tbe combat.
Both of liis legs being now useless and the
remaining Northern cock perfectly fresh, I
lost one hundred dollars hedging on the
fight, for, what do you think lie did?—why,
sir, he whirled over on bis back, picked
loose a g#;F from one of his broken legs and
presenting it in his bill, cut upon bis attack
ing opponents craw and won the fight."
"Hurrah for Louisiana," shouted K—,
"I must liaVe tbe eggs of that breed, and no
other." Willingly, say» B—, "but the fact
is, it is impossible to raise from him; he is
so game that I have never succeeded in
a
having * setting patched, for you seo. the
very inoiwuit the eggs are placed together in
a nest, their game ^qualities are so predomi
nant and excitable, that every individual
egg pitches into another, and in five minutes
there is not a whole egg remaining. Give
you plenty if you want them though." K—,
accepted the offer.
A Good asd a Poor Cow. —Suppose a
man wishes to huy a cow. .Two are offered
him, both four years old, and which might
probably be serviceable for ten years to
cotne. With the same food and attendance
the first wilt yield Cor ten months in the
year an average of five quarts per day, and
the other for the same term will yield seven
quarts, and o*f equal quality. What is the
comparative value of each ? Thé difference
in yield is six hundred quarts per annum.
For the purpose of -this calculation we will
suppose it worth three cents per quarter— «
amounting to eighteen dollars. Is not the
whi fei tes h olds' »*«' «■ -«re *
good iiMIe fust, and three 7 hundred dollars
at inteft st besides ? If the first just payi> for
her fodj and attendance, the second yielding
two fife! ft more, was forty per cent profit an-,
nually | and yet how many farmers having
two shjp cows for sale would make more
than te*, or twenty, or at most thirty dol
lart difference in the price ? The profit from
one is eighteen dollars a year—in ten years
on boffdred and eighty dollars, besides the
ansual accumulations of interest—the profit
of ihe ffther-vis nothing. If the seller has
need Iff keep one, would he not be wiser to
give afttay theffost, than to part with the
second for a hundred dollars ?— Goodale't
Principles of Breeding.
Qcitarl— If fonr dogs, wit^ sixteen legs,
can catch foity-nine rabbits, with eighty
seven Jegs, in forty four minutes, how many
legs m|M(L the saniS rabbits have to get away
from eight dogs with tbirtv two lega, in
arge n tin e minutes and a hall}
Sedation\ Add together the legs of the
rsbits-and tails ot' the dogs, and divide (he
amount by three big dogs: this leaves four
bushel* of barks and thirteen pounds of hair,
lake the fractions of tbe rabbits, add six
inches of snow, and multiply by a dog fight.
Then divide by a roan with a double-barreled
shot gun, and add a side of fresh beef.
Multiply by half as many legs as three
times a less number of rabbits would have
had, And divide by one-third of the time it
wouM take to geL away from tbe dogs, less
seventeen and a half minutes. The result
depepg upon the size of the dogs.
is Fboid.—A s r traveler was picking
ly through the Mississippi swamp, be
Natchez and Uarrisonbug, it being
iggy, ho discovered a very fine look
,t on tbe ground, and concluded be
alight and pick it op. But what was
hi* amazement, qii raising it, to discover
that it was on top of a man's head, who was
harried in tbe mud, all but hi* bead. The
traveler immediately attempted to help him
oat, but tbe man stopped him, saying:
"Ifever mind, stranger, I'll get out, I reckon,
fof l bave a splendid mult under me!"
>
A good story Is told of two United States
8eftaU>rs—one from Main the other from
Gefftgift. Daring one session of Congress,
while both were in Washington, tkey were
one day engaged in a conversation on the
Lord's Prayer, when the one from Main of
fered to bet five dollars that his brother
8enator did not know it. Tbe bet was no
oepted, and, by agreement, be was to repeat
it, and accordingly commenced ns follows:
"Now I lay mo down to sleep,
I pr ay the Lord my seal to keep,
ffftkboald die before I wake,
^ I mm the Lord my soul to take."
, "WsH, I dsolare," said the Meiner, "I did
think yon knew it," whereat be banded
tbejvo dollars.
»aft talents, industry will
moderate abilities, industry
r deficiencies. Nothing is
•diraored labor; nothing isffver
' without it.
I An Extensive Sell. —The Jaekffui (La.)
j Banner ventilates the following:
i A very amusing circumstance took place
j during the past week in a neighboring par
! " L " 1 ..... 1 "'' 1 '*— i--*--— *
| diy goods store, an J who has a very exalted
: opinion of himself in general, ami his person
!**l charms in paiticuiar, became smitten
j w, th Gie charms of a young lady, tho daugli
ter of Mr.-,and she beim* tho possess
j or a goodly*portion ot the filthy lucre,
I ; which »'tide ' VÎIS not enumerated among the
stores of the gay Lothario, would have suited
] him. But the girl—bug pardorjf young lady
i we intended to
! ls h not a hundred miles from Jackson. A
j{ j smart young gentlemen who follows the call
! * n g of measuring out tape by the fard in a
girl—beg pardorï young lady
say was not auy way at all
iff roen 0f * n l° re with the knight of tho yard
-stick, but as full offun ns any other article
in crinolin. Clerkie had his say to the
young lady and proposed an elopement, aud
to his ineffable pleasure she consented.
Both made prepurations for the ulopemeut
hut each in a different manner—the male by
packing his trunk, hiring a vehicle, etc.; and
the lady by informing her father, and dress
ing her servant in some of her wearing
apparel. The young man visited the young
lady in the sLernoon, and she exacted a
promise from him that he would not speak
to her for the first hour in tho carriage, to
which lie agreed. About midnight a car
riage came to within a few hundred yards of
the paternal mansion a low whistle was heard
a feniiilc approached in a hesitating manner
and, when clo«e to the carriage, was caught
«
up j.-y the young man who carried her to the
carnage, amongst the most endearing epi
thets and innumerable kisses. The carriage
started with the pair, but was suddenly
stopped on'the road by a group of persons
with lights, opened the door, dragged the
pair out of the carriage, when, to the aston
ishment of our young friend he found that
lie had not a very youthful specimen of the
daughters of Africa in his arms, and
ad<>red Miss--.together with
bis
her father,
brothers and employer amongst the lookers
OD, enjoying the scene. Pliansy liis phee
links. All we have to add is, that the
young gentleman started next morning for
New Orieaus, with a firm deterinir ation to
be wiser iu future.
Amount of Absence Proper for Hits
bands Miss Mulocli says, "A lady of my
acquaintance gives it ns her sine qua non ot
domestic felicity, tha. the men of the family
this is a great boon. A hoose where 'papa
or the boys are always 'pottering about.'
popping in and out at all hours, everlasting
ly wanting something, or finding fault with
something else, is a considerable trial to
even feminine patience. And I beg to ask
my sex^generaily—in confidence, of course
—if it is not the greatest comfort possible
when, the masculine half of the family being
cleared out for the day, the house settles
down into regular woik and orderly quiet
ness until evening? Also, it is good for tLem
as well ns for us, to have all the
inevitable petty domestic 'bothers' go over
in tlieir absence; to effect which ought to be
one of the principal aims of tho mistress of a
family. Let them, if possible, return to a
quiet, smiling home, with all its small an
noyances brushed awny like the du 9 t and
cinders from the grate—which, en passant,
is one of the first requisites to malm a fire
side look comfortable. It might j>e as well,
too, if tbe master himself could contrive to
leave tbe worldly inud of the day at tbe
scraper outside liis door."
California in a New Aspect. —Recent
Intelligence from California states that with
in tho Us six weeks the Amurieaa clipper
ships. Wubfoot B. Busteed, Eagle Wing,
Jacob Bell, and the famous ship Great Re
public, were loading with wheat and .flour at
San Francisco for England ; and the clippers
Dashing Wave, Oce.'in Telegraph, and Sky
lark, were receiving similiar cargoes for New
York. It is but a few years since California
derived her supply of breadstuff* from the
Atlantic States; but all at once, as if oy mag
ic, we learn that she is able, not only to sup
ply 1ft»r home demand with cereal products,
but her thrifty merchants and farmers are
doing a brisk trade with Europe and the
Eastern States. California enjoys superior
advantages as a grain growing country, hav
ing a soil of great fertility, with rich table
lands well irrigated from, the mountainous
regions?
Another source of weatlh, which lias al
ready assumed msgnificeut proportions, is
the grape culture. Lçst year the revenue
from this lucious fruit in California was en
itinerated by hundreds of thousands of dol
lars; since that time View vineyards have
been laid out, and the yield for thft present
year promises to be immense.
With the rich mineral and agricultural
wealth of our El Dorado, and the superior
advantages and central position in the Paci
fic of her ch'ef city—8an Francisco; with the
untold Oriental wealth of China and Japan,
she is destine* to orenpy a proud position
among the commercial places of the world.
In Want or Pocket Money. —'Unde"
said a young maa, who thought that his
guardian supplie* him rather seldom witii
pocket money, y«t he.felt a liltls hesitation
In b
beginning an assault on his relative's gen
•rosity "is tbs queen's head still on tbe shil
ling piece!"
•'"Of course it is, yon stupid lad. Why
do YOU ask that, you scamp?" JH
"Because it is now a length of time bines
I saw one,"
(La.)
par- whose face traces of former beauty were
* - "
j of Michigan, She was pretfv, educated,
: aud captivating i.i manners. But she had
. an uncontrollable passion for dross, and was
one day detected in the act of stealing a
' cosily silk from the counter of the village
store. She wav arrested, hut under promise
the of leaving the village never more to return,
.she was spared the pain and mortification of
j a public trial for larceny. She travelled
, A. \ euv Last Woman.— The Cleveland
;Obio) Plaindualer says, in that city, one
day last week, a woman, still young, and in
A still discoverable, was sent to the countv jail
call- for vagrancy. Five years a^o she was a
a ! school teacher in a small town in tho state
J a public trial for larceny,
all j \\£est and encountered a southern planter
[somewhere on the route, who employed her
| as a governess in his family. She accornpa
the ; nied him to his home in the far south, where
| she succeeded in captivating him and causing
! his wife to sue for a divorce.
j After thoroughly running tho planter,
by ; scandalizing his friends, she" eloped with à
and ! Isrrht mulatto, tbe most valuable servant in
; the planter's collection, and went to St.
Louis. There, becoming sick of the mulatto,
she sold him for $2000. Slie is next heard
a of as manageress and leading actress of n
strolling theatrical company in the interior
to
of
of Missouri, playing star parts on the stage,
and deluding susceptible grain-merchants
when off. Hie St. Louis papers iast spring
contained numerous reports of her dashing
: swiudie along the Missouri river. She ran
n wild race iu Chicago, and brought up iu
the j Bridewell, where she served out a short time
epi
the
the
in prison fortlieft. She reached Cleveland
in the course of time, hopelessly dissipated
ami shattered.
Man's Character. —We may judge of a
maids character by what be loves—what
pleases him. If a person manifest delight
in low and sordid objects—tiic vulgar song
bis j and debasing language ; in the misfortune of
i his fellows, or cruelty to animals, we may at
j once determine the complexion of his char
-1 acter. Outlie contrary, if he loves purity,
the • modesty, truth—if virtuous pursuit engage
for ; his heart and draw out his affection—we are
to j satisfied that he is an upright man. A mind
j debased shrinks from association with tho
j ._ t ( T r
my j Tims fortq be Moving. —It is reported'
ot j that the recent prompt obevance of the law
j a j Cleveland lias caused quite a scattering
|,j 3 hack, ona evening he jumped from the
(bos as soon as he reaches] the Collins House
to
ask
the
be
a
a
an
and
to
tbe
Re
at
the
are
the
al
is
the
where he was employed' not stopping to let
out. his passengers. He called the proprie
tor of the house aside, and requested pay
ment of liis wages giving therefore a very
good reason, as follows: "It's time for dis
teller to be goiu'—I'se got my ole massa in
de carriage."
Railroad Waggery. —Waggs went to
the depot of one of our railroads the other
evening, and finding the beat car full, said,
in a loud tone:
"Why,»his car isn't going."
Of course these words caused a general
6tampede, and Waggs took the best seat.
The cars soon moved off. In tho midst of
tho indignation the wag was questioned:
"You said this car wasn't going!"
"Well, it wasn't then, but ift is now,"^
Tho "sojl' laugehed a little;—but Waggs
cime rat!er near a good thrashing.
his
Too Sharp for Him. —Prof. Johnston, of
Middletown University, was one day lecturing
before the students on minerology. He had
before him quite a number of specimens of
various sorts to illustrate the subject. A
roguish student, for spor!, slilv put a piece of
brick among the stones. The Professor was
taking up the stones one after the other, and
naming them "This," said he. "i* a piece of
granite; this is a piece of feldspar," etc.;
presently hero came tbe brickbat. Without
betraying any surmise, or even changing his
tone of voice, "this," said he, holding it up,
"is a piece of impudence!" There was a
shout of daughter, and the student concluded
he had made little by that trick.
One of the Sentences. —Dr. Cross, in a
notice in tho Nashville Advocate of a new
book, has this as oue of bis sentences :
"Some of them he has immortalized; some
immortalized themselves before he 'took a
pen to them ; and others were uuimnioital
izable by a thousand such authors spliced
into one, with tbe Sahara to write upon, the
Mediterranean for an ink stand, nine leagues
of the Nofth Pole for a poo, and two etern
ities for the achievment of the task."
—Tom Corwin, being worried by an in
quisitive fellow to tell him the secret of suc
cess in life, at length replied as follows:
1. Never treat anybody, for that costs
monev.
2. Never decline a treat, for ^tliat doesn't
cost Anything, and might give offence.
3. Never lend a roan a dollar unless you
take two silver dollars as security.'
4. Never be alarmed at calamities so long
as they don't hurt voa.
Beal Wit. —At a dinner party, Erskhto
was seated near Mis Henrietta---, com
monly called Miss Hennie, who had be«»
celebrated for her beauty, but was then
somewhat pas* the meridian of life. "They
ray you're a great man for making puns,"
said Miss Henni* to the wit. "Could you
make a pun on me!" "Ah, Hennit," was
the cruel reply, "ye are no chicken!*