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The Banner-Democrat. (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, January 13, 1894, Image 1

Image and text provided by Louisiana State University; Baton Rouge, LA

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88064237/1894-01-13/ed-1/seq-1/

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D r. Talmage Talks Upon the "If " of a
the Bible. i
e Small, bet I mmemsely Important Cor
JBamete, Aeserdig to Where ad d
Uow It is Usd--Mremss
Prayer Unaswered h
.The following discourse by Rev. T. c
D-eWitt 'Jalmage, on "The 'tfs' of the a
Bible," was delivered in the Brooklyn t
tabernasle, being based on the text: o
I Thou wilt forgive thbir sin-; and it not, O
blot me, I p·ra Thee, out of Thy book.-Exodus
airr..t. o
There is in our English language a 11
small conjunction, which I propose, by C
God's help, to haul out of its present '
dsignifleance and set upon the throne d
where it belongs, and that is the con- d
junction "If." Though made of only
two letters, it is the pivot on which P
everything turns. All time and all I
eternity are at its disposal. We slur it
in our utterance, we ignore it in our
appreciation, and none of us recognize
it as the most tremendous word in the
vocabulary outside of those words
which describe deity. If! Why that
word we take as a tramp among words,
now appearing here, now appearing
there, but having no value of its own. o
when it really has a millionairedom of a
worlds,and in its train walk all planeta- v
ry, stellar, lunar, solar destinies. If
the boat of leaves, made water-tight in
which infant Moses sailed the Nile, c
bad sunk, who would have led Israel '
out of Egypt? If the Red sea had not d
parted for the escape of one host, and e
then come together for the submer
gence of another host, would the Book
of Exodus ever have been written? If t
the ship on which Columbus sailed for v
America had gone down in an Atlan- t
tic cyclone, how much longer would it n
have taken for the discovery of this t
continent? If Grouchy had come up S
with re-enforcements in time to give "
the French the victory at Waterloo, a
what would have been the fate of Eu- t
rope? If the Spanish Armada had not c
been wrecked off the coast, how differ- t
ent would have been nmany chapters in 1
English history. If the battle of Hast- e
ings, o. the battle of Pultowa, or the t
battle of Valiny, or the battle of Ma- 1
taurus, or the battle of Arbela, or the t
battle of Chalons, each one of which
turned the world's destiny, had been t
decided the other way. If Shakspeare '
had never been born for the drama, or
Handel had never been born for music, t
or Titian had never been born for t
painting,orThorwaldsen-had'never been 1
born for sculpture, or Edmund Burke c
had never been born for eloquence, or c
Socrates had never been born for
philosophy, or Blackstone had never c
been born for the law, or Copernicus F
had never been born for astronomy, or
Luther had never been born for t to
reformation! Oh, that conjunction C
"if!" How much has depended on it.
The height of it. the lIepth of it, the
length of it, the breadth of it, the im
menaity of, the infinity of it, who can
measure? It would swamp anything t
but Omnipotence. But I must confine I
mIyself tday to the "ifs" of the Bible,
and in doing so I shall speak of the
-"if' of overpowering earnestness, the
"if" of incredulity, the "if" of threat,
the "if" of argumentation, the "if" of
eternal significance, or so many of
these '"fs" as I can compass in the time 1
that may. be reasonably allotted to
pulpit discourse.
First, the "if' of overpowering earn
estoes. My text gives it. The Israel
Stes have been worshiping an idol,
notwithstanding all that God had done
for them, and now Moses offers the I
most vehement prayer of all history,
Iad it turns upon an "if." "'If Thou 1
',ult forgive their sin-; and if not,
blot me, I pray Thee, ontof Thy book."
Oh, what an overwheming "if!" It was
as maeh as to say: "If Thou wilt not
pardon them. do not pardon me; if
Thou wilt not bring them to the prom
Leed land, let me never see the prom
ied land; if they must perish4 let me
perish with them; in that book where
'Thon recordest their doom, record my
doom; if they are shut opt of Heaven,
let me be shut out of Heaven; if they
geo down into darknees, let me go
down into darkness." What vehe
mence and holy recklessness of pray
ersl Yet there are those here who,
I have no doubt. have, in their
all-absorbing desire to have others
aved, risked the same prayer,
for it is a risk. You must not make it,
unless yenou are willing to balance your
eternal qalvnation on such an "If." Yet
there have been eases where a mother
has bees aso anXious for the recovery
of a wayward son than her prayer has
swung and trembled and poised on an
*" - like that of the text. "If not, blot
4·+ I y Thee, out f Thy book.
Write hisuame in the Lamb's Book of
dlEs, or trn to the page where my
mawie wws-written ten or twenty or
fgigar isty ynse* ago, and with the
bM"s Ic of everlating 'ight
e-rs *75 am n e,..aemy lest name
sa1113$ It be Is.toginte
,t ha,~yi , i --be adswheRI
sand 1*i. * ---e
4 lr 4
coaxing and kindness, and self-sacrl- a
flee and all the ordinary prayers that as
mothers make for their children and if
alli have failed. She is coming toward y,
the vivid and venturesome and terrific s
prayer of my text. She is going to ei
lift her own eternity and set it upon "
that one "if," by which she expects to g
decide whether you will go up with n
her or she down with you. s
She may be this moment looking a
heavenward, and saying: "0 Lord re- o
claim him by Thy grace," and then a
adding that heart-rending "If" of my "
text: "If not, blot me. I pray Thee, q
out of Thy book." After three years ci
of absence a son wrote his mother in d
one of the New England whaling vil- tl
loges that he was coming home in a o
certain ship. Mother-like, she stood
watching, and the ship was in the off- c'
ing, but a fearful storm struck it and ti
dashed the ship on the rocks that f,
night. All that night the mother b
i prayed for the safety of the son, and y
just at dawn there was a knock at the
cottage door, and the son entered, cry
r ing: "'Bother, I knew you would pray "
me home!" If I would ask those in a
this assemblage who have been prayed h
home to God by pious mothers to stand ti
up, there would be scores that would a
stand; and if I should ask them to give a
testimony, it would be the testimony r
of that New England son coming h
ashore from the split timbers of the 1i
whaling ship: "My mother prayed me
home!" t'
Another Biile "If" is the "If" of in- v
credulity. Satan used it when Christ, t:
with his vitality depressed by forty v
t days' abstinence from food, the tempt- a
1 er pointed to some stones, in color and a
shape like loaves of bread, and said: p
"If Thou be the Son of God, command g
I that these stones be made bread." That
r was appropriate, for Satan is the fa- o
ther of that "if" for incrdulity. Peter a
u used the same "If" when, standing on ,
the wet and slippery deck of a fishing- a
smack of Lake Galilee, he saw Christ p
walking on the sea as though it were I
as solid as a pavement of basalt from
the adjoining volcanic hills, and Peter
t cried out: "If it be Thou, let me come u
to Thee on the water." What a pre- a
1 posterous "If!" What human foot was A
ever so construct~d as to walk on wa
ter? In what part of the earth did g
law of gravitation. make exception i
to the rule that a man will
sink to the elbows when he touches i
the wave of the river or lake, and t
will sink still further unless he can
r swim? But here Peter looks out upon c
the form in the shape of a man defying j
r the mightest law of the universe, the r
· law of gravitation, and standing erect t
on the top of the liquid. Yet the in- c
r credulous Peter cries out to the Lord:
r "If it be Thou." Alas! for that in- i
r credulous "If." It is working as t
a powerfully as in the latter part of this
r nineteenth Christian century as it did r
e in the early part of the first Christian j
2 century. Though a small conjunction, 4
it is the biggest block to-day in the c
*way of the Gospel chariot. "If!" "If!"
We have theological seminaries which
spend most of their time and employ t
teeir learning and their genius in the
e manufacturing of "Ifs." With that
weaponry is assailed the Pentateuch,
e and the miracles and the divinity of
e Jesus. Christ. Almost everybody is f
chewing on an "If." When a man
f bows for prayer, he puts his knee on
, an "If." The door through which peo
e ple pass into infidelity and atheism and
o all immortalities has two door-posts,
and the one is made up of the letter
- "I" and the other of the letter "F."
Any religion will do in time of pros- l
I, perity. Buddhism will do. Confucian
e ism will do. Theosophy will do. No
e religion at all will do. But when the
world gets after you and defames your
a best deeds, when bankruptcy takes the
t, place of large dividends, when you
fold for the last sleeD the still hands
a over the still heart of your old father
it who has been planning for your wel
if fare all these years, or yet close the
,- eyes of your mother who has lived in
a. your life, ever since before you were
e born, removing her spectacles because
*e she will have clear vision in the home
y to which she has gone, or you give
p, the last kiss to the child re
Sclining amid the flowere that
o pile the casket, and looking as
e natural and life-like as she ever
.- did reclining in the cradle, then the
, only religion worth anything is the
Lr old-fashioned of the Gospel of Jesus
rs Christ. I would give more in such a
r, erisis for one of the promisesexpresw d
t, in half a verse of the old Book
at than for a whole library containing
st all the productions of all the other re
ir ligions of the ages. The other rell
y glos area sort of a cocaine to benamb
s and deaden the seal while bereavement
nsand misfortune do their work, but our
t religion is inspiration, il~pmination,
k emparadisation. It is a mixture of
i sunalight and hallelujah. Do not adal
y terate it with one drop of the tincture
ar of ineredulity.
as Another Bible '"it" is the "I'* of
t ternarsl~gna icne. Solomon glep as
a. that "If" twice in one mantsqe,,whsIn
o ke sys: "It thaw bhowiethou-ealt
is be wise for thyself; but if thc_
eanestd, tou stone shdalst bhri "
c cjltrh save a that "I't" wsi a reu
i It tith hadat know in this t dAyj
ay the things which beloag *at1 by
Sopease, bn new thej are ib ~ adfrtp
eo qabeeys." Paul riven s-aha& tetd '
- ineys: "If Wthey sallR en
a cern mor a tears wee m I
--. ' ses .. wf en wm,, ..U
-r tn -s J4 'wr -abmt:, tLes
- 11 0f4c.at u o lharg t. rigte
ro seire niamef thee. Tie eqly
a wLianthwes will sshlotr wnifet
is 6 (4 itnet tie. haht w blt
ho'-.· IU~igk~L ~~UlAf, S~ Abnthout
*'16 9P sw Ri#h
safe," and you would not cross ia. Let
some one say: "I hav'e reasons to ask
if that steamer is trustworthy," and
you would not take pgssage on it. Let
someone suggest in regard to a prop- r
erty that you are about to purchase: it
"I have reason to ask if they can D
give a good title," and you would tl
not pay a dollar down until you had .]
some skillful real-estate lawyer ex- p
amine the title. But I allow for years a
of my lifetime and some of you have
allowed for years of your lifetime an ,
"if" to stand tossing up and down hl
questions of eternal destiny. Oh, de- ,
cide. Perhaps your arrival here to- ti
day may decide. Stranger things tian ,
- that have put to flight forever the "if" 9
of uncertainty. ii
A few Sabbath nights ago in this ft
church, a man, passing at the foot of Ui
the pulpit, said to me: "I am a miner t
from England," and then he pushed a
back his coat sleeve and said: "Do ai
you see that scar on my ardi?" I said:
"Yes; you must have had an awful a
wound there some time." He said: S
"Yes; it nearly cost me my life. I ti
was in a mine in England six tl
hundred feet under ground and a:
three miles from the shaft of the s]
mine, and a rock fell on me, ji
and my fellow-laborer pried off the it
rock and I was bleeding to death, and tl
he took a newspaper from around his n
luncheon and bound it around my o
wound, and then helped me over the ii
three miles under ground to the shaft, Ii
where I was lifted to the top, and when ca
that newspaper was taken off my t
r wound I read on it something that ti
saved my soul, and it was one of your N
I sermons. Good-night," he said, as he
passed on, leaving me transfixed with n
I grateful emotion. V
Between the first and last sentences f
of my text there was a paroxysm of v
earnestness too mighty for words. It t
will take half of an eternity to tell of b
all the answers of earnest and faithful a
prayer. In his last journal. David b
Livingstone, in Africa, records the s
prayer so soon to be answered: a
"19 March-Birthday. My Jesus, n
my God, my life, my All. I
again dedicate my whole self to Thee. 'I
Accept me, and giant O gracious t
Father that ere this year is gone,I may e
Sfinish my task. In Jesus' name I ask a
it. Amen." When the dusky servant a
1 looked into Livingstone's tent and
found him dead on his knees, he saw a
I that the prayer had been answered, 1I
But notwithstanding the eKnestness '1
of the prayer of Moses iithe text a
it was a defeated prayer, and I
was not answered. I think the I
two "ifs" in the prayer defeated it, and a
one "if" is enough to defeat any r
prayer, whateter good characteristics I
it may hare. "If thou wilt forgive e
s their sins-; and if not, blot me, I s
s pray thee, out of Thy book." God did I
1 neither. As the following verses show, C
I He punished their sins, but I am sure a
did not blot out one letter of the name
a of Moses from the Book of Life.
There is only one kind of prayer in I
which you need to put the "if," and '
' that is the prayer for temporal bless
ings. Pray for riches and they may en
t gulf us, or for fame. and it may be
witch us, or for worldly success of any
sort and it may destroy us. Better
say: "If it be best, "If I can make t
proper use of it," "If Thou seest
a I need it." A wife, praying
' for the recovery of her hus
d band from illness, stamped her foot
and said with frightful emphasis: "I
will not have him die; God shall not
take him." Her prayer was answered,
but a few years after, the community
was shocked by the fact that the in a
0 moment of anger had slain her.
e A mother, praying for a son's
r recovery from illness, told the
e Lord He had no right to take
u him, and the boy recovered, but
B plunged into all abominationsand died
a renegade. Better in all such prayers
1- pertaining to our temporal welfare,
le put an "if," saying: "If it be Thy will!"
n But praying for sliiritual good and the
' salvation of our soul we'need never in
i .sert an "if." Our spiritual welfare is
e sure to be for the best, and away with
C the "ifs."
SAbraham's prayer for the rescue of
t Sodom was a grand prayer in some re
a spects, but there were six "its" in it;
Sor "peradventures," which mean the
Ssame thing. *'Peradventure there may
1e be fifty righteous in the city, peradven
5 ture forty-five, peradventure forty, per
a adventure thirty, pei'adventnre twen
ty, peradventure ten." Those six per
adventures, those six "its" killed the
gprayer and Sodom went down andwent
under, Nearly all the prayers that
were answered had no "its" in them.
SThe prayer of Elijah that changed
dry weather to wet weather. The
prayer that chalnged Heseldsh
Sfrom a sick man to a well
man. The prayer thathalted
sen and moean without shakg
the atlvere to pieneL Oh, 1raly rea
soul icr a prcaer with no "Ime it
S ay ia saubstai :-"LsrL t he at
in preahne paness an 1 take ai. i
. L e Immer wf els R.t Ie i;sl
i auaw the st Btahei. '1 lti
1 Oad. .sisie."
anthe Mwosc a sse umr a te m
Ites "n rl*** It uibsn. " "b,' •n
- ..:y- o.-tlrlheoa Ays, ,a.
as let as teatlk ) e
werde.m U esasels aepler. pes
aSeet $4tsi c dls ts Ide Idis n
.give our sk L wimswaiir smtt
the Beef oo at th teflsry homm Rhss
'bon whih tshrise1 usaer hukiatle
" k4o rle b ~r~wi hst1UI1
Carious Lizards to Which an Old-Time Ce
-Superstitioa Relaes.
"Nobody knows how the superstition Hr
regarding the supposed fire-proof qual- f
ity of the salamander had its rise." said
Dr. Stelneger. the reptilian expert of c
the Smithsonian institute recently. al
"However, I can give what I think is a a
pretty good guess at it. To explain, I
shall have to tell you a story.
"Once upon a time I was camping out tl
with a party, hunting and fishing. We
had lighted a big fire, using for fuel
several old logs. While we were sit
ting around watching the progress of l
some cookery in which we were en
gaged, a young lady at my side gave a a
little scream and pointed into the li
lames. I looked and there was a small a
lizard crawling right out from among a
the glowing embers. It walked away,
unhurt apparently, through the grass h
and made its escape.
"Now, that salamander had occupied e
a hole in one of the logs used for fuel. n
Several species of its kind live in old 81
tree trunks. Doubtless this one found
that it was getting uncomfortably hot P
and crawled out. Being moist and 1
slimy, its body was protected from in- e
jury by the fire long enough to enable n
it to escape through the embers. But 'I
the sight of the animal deliberately r
making its appearance from the midst a
of the fire was certainly very surpris- it
ing. Any ignorant person might easi- t
ly have been led to imagine that the c
creature must be fire-proof. It seems V
to me quite probable that the supersti- P
tion took its rise from just such occur
"There are so many species of sala- t
mander that a description of them all a
would fill a book. They are to be b
found all over the world, except in c
very cold regions. In a popular sense, a
the name 'salamander' is applied to all I
batrachians with tails. That is rather v
a loose definition. A tadpole is a e
batrachian with a tail, but .it is not a i
salamander. The great majority of c
salamanders .are small, such as the t
newts, found in springs. The biggest t
species in this country are so-called
•mud-eel,' for 'siren.' It has only two
feet, just behind the head, and it has
external gills, when fully developed,
which is an exception to the rule among
"The biggest salamander in the
world is found in Japan. It attains a
length of two feet, snd,isrelated to the
'hellbender.' Most salamanders live
on insects, but the very large kinds eat
pretty nearly everything as a rule. t
For instance, the Japanese species is
omnivorous. So far as I am aware,
none of the salamanders are considered
good to eat, by eivilized men at all
events. Two years ago I obtained a
specimen of the only 1known species of
blind salamander. It came from a
cave in MissourL A mo-called blind
salamander exists in certain caves of
Austria, but it is not a true salaman
der, though it would come under the
popular definition, being a batrachian
with a tail.
"One peculiar thing about salaman
ders is that they are not as large when
full grown as when they are partly de
veloped. That seems a funny paradox,
does it not? You see, salamanders go
through a metamorphosis during their
lifetime, as frogs do, though the
change is not so marked. They have
a larval period, as the tadpole is the
larva of the4frog. On becoming adult
they shrink'p considerably. During
the larval period they have gills like
a fish, which usually become rudimen
tary later on. An odd exception to
this rule is the 'axylotl' of Mexico,
which does not undergo any such meta
morphosis and never becomes adult in
a scientific sense. In other words, it
never reaches what is the final stage
with other salamanders, but always re
mains a larva.
"Axyolotis of different species are
found in various parts of the United
States, but they do undergo the change
and become adult. However, if you
keep one of them in water and prevent
it from escaping, it will remain a larva
always and will undergo no metamor
phosis. In order to change, it has to
get on dry land. Having become a
land animal, its external gills disap
pear, being no longer required for
breathing in water. The Mexican
axylotl never goes on land-at all
events, not for a longer time than its
gills will remain wet.
"In this bottle is one of the biggest
Stoads in the world. I suppose it weighs
nearly four pounds. It comes from
Arizona, and is the only specimon of
the species that we have ever aeanred.
e't it Iat beautyg"-Washington Star.
SWat the liUte eniseas mspa fo h
Napoleon has beea ,haracte,4ad lo
somanydr7 dlfet waprby the u si
ems writers w~o~ ba ststtehh#4er
that it I. not.mpruImg to iad b
sri s,0ap d ta ity st naeseent wwe
sof a Pla he asiS "its43
saiS pa l a
June' and September, 1806, he uawsed Lm
fewer than 162 bottles of ean de
cologne, paying 44. francs for them.
He was also exceedingly fond of the
smell of the aloe. In 188 he gave 720 ty
francs for ten ounces of aloe th
Costly soap, 4 and 5 'francs a t
cake, he also used. He was
also a good customer of the glove
makers. In 1808 he had forty-eight bs
pairs made of deerskin, and twenty- pa
four pairs made of goatskin. How long ge
these lasted is not told. but there were th
many similar purchases.- l
"Napoleon, however, was extremely ki
particular as to his linen. He was very ua
cleanly, and changed his underwear ki
and dress shirts daily. The finest al
linen was used for his dress shirts, as th
can be seen from the fact that in 1806 tr
more than 5,000 francs were spent for lo
the material for six dozen shirts. One fa
hundred handkerchiefs cost him 1,400,
francs. For linen of various kinds the tb
emperor spent 10,000 francs in 1808-al- aI
most half of the sum which he usually A,
spent on his wardrobe. ca
"At no time, however, did the court as
purveyors enjoy greater harvest than as
when he was crowned and anointed he
emperor. Never before vere so many sl
magnificent presents sent from the
Tuilleries, and never before did the tt
royal palace on the banks of the Seine e3
see such display. The coronation cloth- th
ing of the emperor and empress cost at
together 650,000 francs, and that of the cc
courtiers 150,000. For ornaments of tr
various kinds 700,000 francs were ex- ki
pended, and for memorial medals 20,000. al
All told, the cost of the coronation was t;
about 5,000,000 francs. No monarch of b
the ancient regimne expended so much al
on a similar occasion. Napoleon I., a
however, was never embarrassed Aman- 0
cially. He kept his private treasury, et
as well as the state treasury, in the pl
best order. Far from allowing his per- u
veyors to take advantage of him, he pl
examined every bill, even for the most a
insignificant thing which was pur- w
chased for his court. Almost invariably a
the merchants were obliged to lower d
their prices."--Chicago Inter-Ocean. h
S- ti
any Woman Would gay that the Cyeloes
Was Jaustled.
"Yes," said the sorrowful-looking h
man, "I've been through a cyclone, and
know all about their destructive pow- q
ers. I was in one of those Mississippi ri
cyclones this last spring, and shall have i
cause to remember it tomy dying day." A
"Wife and children killed?" asked A
the woniap in the seat opposite, as an
expression of pity came to her yes. d
"No'm; I am not a married man." g
"Relatives killed?"
"N9'm; I had no relatives in the i(
"Then it was the shock of seeing a
others maimed and killed?" persisted ,
the woman. p
"No'm. You see, it was this way. I A
vIas in love With a widow of about ih
your size and heft. In fact, we were
engaged. I went over to see her of a
Sunday evening, as usual, and un- q
known to us the storm came up. The
first thing I knew she was blown ui t
my lap afd out of the window and----" h
"She was what?" sharply demanded
the woman.
"You see, it was this way. ma'am.
She was sitting on my lap and I had i
my arm around her, and the frst thing a
I knew-" 1
"Was the widow blown awvay?"
"Didn't you fnd her after the stormy
"No'm." t
"Hlave you any hopes of ever finding ;
her, alive or dead?"
"No'm,'not a hope."
"I'm just glad of it!" she said, as she a
moved to the window and began t
reading h book. t
I thong the sorrowful man winked ,
at mes s got out his pipe and tobse
co, but i sy only have been a tear int
his eye. troit Free Press.
Living "agoe one's o O ses.
An American capitalist, who is. a
i keen observer, is reported to have said
that he did not believe that there was '
ian American citisen whose ineome
Srepresented a salary who was not liv
ing beyond his means. And ,he added
rthat, if the man had a fminy, he wes
a bringing up that family to standards
Sand wants that he could not isOmmatly
gratify. Our own obseotlatlo does1
not bear witness to this assertion.
t But if the alleged fact be ttees to say
aeonsiderable extent, it must be re
garded as among the a.isre of the
Smany embezzlements ad otter peeu '
L lary delinqueel4si whlch have bsomus
so common of late yars. "P.iing,
th rases" has been the radin ad sa- 1
titude; but living bey d ampjs -
aledas1nd. It
ahtd r
A Chapter From the arly Eaperlemee of
a Man Whe Tried It. ISM
"When I first began dictating to sao*
typewriter," said a man who writes for
the papers, "I thought that I must die
tate all the punctuation complete, and on
my dictation ran something like this: uti
"Young Adolphus on OGwilt leaned wl
back upon the blue plush seat of the
palace car and looked out upon the ha
fleeting panorama period He had loved se
the fair Adeline Otville comma and she me
loved him comma but the old man had
kicked semi-colon that is comma you
understand comma he had not actually S
kicked Adolphus comma but he kicked
figuratively speaking semi-colon and
the disconsolate Adolphus was now
traveling to assuage his grief semi-co.
ion he was on his way to the World's Mc
I fair period paragraph so
"Just now he felt lhungry semicolon
thanks to youth and good health his "C
appetite never deserted him period So Y(
Adelphus went forward into the dining do
car to breakfast period no semicolon In
and he ate a good square meal comma
as he generally did semicolon and then fin
he went back to hip section in the ha
sleeper period paragraph ms
"As he entered the car be saw some- pi
thing that made him almost doubt his
eyesight period no semicolon it was co
the form of Adeline Otville period And gp
I she was in the next section back of his de
comma and had been ever since the cc
I train started comma and he hadn't -
- known it which was not very remark
able comma after all comma for the ye
train had started very late the night so
I before comma and he had not come he
I aboard until the last minute period It w
seems that Adeline that is I mean Miss js
Otville was traveling for her health
comma too period She comma like Adol
a phus comma had been very much torn yc
up by this misappreciation 'of Adol- y,
a phus on the part of the old man com- i
t ma and her father had thought that it to
would be a good thing for her to travel
rsemicolon and by the commonest acci
r dent in the widld she and Adolphuse
hed met on the train semicolon it was
ji t one of those things that happen t
every day comma but it did not strike
these young people in that common
* place way semicolon to them it was the
most delightful thing they had ever
F heard of period paragraph. tr
"Quote Adolphus scare-mark close I
quote cried Adeline comma the color ii
1 rising to her cheek and she herself ris ft
ing from the blue plush seat Quote
Adeline scare-mark close quote cried ac
Adolphus comma hurrying forward to pl
4 meet her semicolon and then they sat ":
down together and looked out at the a
flying panorama comma or more s
strictly speaking comma I fancy they
ls oked at the fleeting panorama in each d
other's eyes period And then they set -
f about seeing if they could not in some 6
way fix things up with the old manae
period Quote You know comma T
Adolphus close quote comma said Ade- L
t line comma quote he said comma sin- I
- gle quote Adeline comma yeou shall
never marry Adolphus close single a
quote semicolon but comma dear om
ma papa is gentle hearted comma yoa i
know commaand I think we can bring *
him around after all close quote pertod 
d paragraph
"It seems that the old man was at a
that minute In the smoking room tak
ing a cigar after breakfast comma atgd i
I Adolphus followed him boldly period 
The old man gave him- the grand blff b
at first comma but Adolphus was per
sistent comma and finally he got the
old man. I guess you'd better make
that gentleman out into the car where
IAdeline was sitting period Hle was
not prooof against theeombined attack a
of the young people comma and it need
Sonly be added thatat lasthe consenaae
u tc make them happy semieolon and so
this trip which had begun In brief om- i
ma ended in joy semicolon when they
got to Chicago they were married pea
arid Tiat's alL -
"But I soon discovered that this was.
all unneaessary; that all really neded a
a to do was to indicate the paragraphts
d thi if I drtated aitellgently the type
, writer would do the res"-N. Y. SLn a
S TLhe arsntiar eOme.
r- It was an agent for a big msanfae
d taming eoncern who was talklng. '
_ "I onee got out s po~e," he ma
! "which started in: 'Keep ygor e g
Sthls a bmrguar.s eoming.' Tkfhistidt
'S trtinted brealcars in the towns lathe 4
* northern pant of the state. Amag
I other places, it was bahtng eaomppteae
- lyin a E pagoeerv andda
C skosre enp of the towsrn b etma
* tieon.
' "One mnoraing te s
-We can not think or act but the
soul of some one who has passed before
points the way. The dead never die.-
-Nothing is more'certain than that
our personal weaknesses exact the
uttermost farthing of,penalty from us
while we live.-Lowell.
-Johnnie (who got his feet wet and
has just inished a hot punch in con
sequence)-"I-1 was in two 'puddles,
mamma."-Beau Monde.
-The pup was so good-natured
That the tramps an turned him dowa:
SO they put a muale on him,
And he terrified the town.
-Washingtdn Star.
-ASuficient Reason.-"WVy dothey
all the new sleeves musical, Mise
Modiste?"' "Because, madam, they are
accordion-fluted."-Detroit Free Press.
-"What do wedding rings cost?"
"Oh, about eight dollars apiece in New
York, or about seventy-five dollars a
dozen in Chicago."-Kate Field's Wash
-Mrs. Clubman (passing Saratoga
fhiges at breakfast)-"Charlie, dear,
have some chips." Mr. Clubman (ab.
sent-mindedly)-"Yes, a stack of reds,
-"How do you like living in the
country, Decks?" "Fine." "Do you
get much variety in your table?" "Inu
deed we do. Why, we've had a new
cook every week since we went there."
-Harper's Bazar.
-Briggs-"Whht is the matter with
you? I never before saw you looking
so rocky." Braggn-"I feel rocky, I
have been down in Kentucky for a
week, drinking limestone water."
-Indianapolis JournaL
-The Deacon-"Ah, wicked boyl
Fishing on the Sabbath. I am afraid
you are among the lost." The Wicked
Youth (in surprise)-"Lost? Not mueh!
Why, I know every inch of ground for
ten miles around here."
-Cause for Ofeuse.-De you know
why everyone seems Ltoe dislike Char
lotte Esteys so?" "I suppose it's be
cause she is never willing to smy amy
thing unpleasant about anyosn It
makes her very interesting,'you see."
-Too Lifelike. - Photographer -
"Wouldnt Mr. Blank take those pli
tures of his wife?"' Assistant-"No, sir,
I assured him they were a psekkng
likeness of her, and he said tht was
just the kind he didn't wua$."-Veqae
-Mr. Littlebrain (yawaisg)-"I ftes
as if I'd been one of the original ae
pants of Noah's irk." lisa Velisr
"Impossiblel Sacred hblstry hpkes us
mention of the doakey among the asI
m:als of Noah's anet"-N. Y. Joarsnt
-Ounest-"What Is that pretty little
oetsvo volume?" The Gaermss ifgula
-"That's a new edition of.inlytulmst
German grasmmar." Guest-"A a wit
are all those quarto volumes l eak W"
TheGerinan Laiurlest- "Those ures tbd
easeptions to the rule)." - O!esge
-"The subject for di4aem pti * e
next meeting of the Village IDbeg t .
society is 'What Is Truth. " "Im.ai
Well, that isa question tbsat'eaa th
r easily answered." `Ia' sa of &o
opition. What ts truth?" "C'ITth]
what two perces speakwbim t.hey -
ostwith each ""er-1114Y. 1t Pe
-Thae- rEnelUiaa eked thae n0
lean spar-maker what . he si ..la
"A yard," was the rteply.- *eqa,
have you gotoaeP wae the nsutquage
Mion. "A ydr." "Whtaeisa4itSW ,
come fromSe?! "The Y4 Ai As
Frenchman was ery smuch rfe-ed
at the lucidity of the eanw er
Sassemed at the aletmesly ot ea' ) -
gsage -N. Y. Pres.
JUSTICE 5 .. `: ....
'.be girl asho )L Mal' -
by woring stc ays c tanea
s buys sattheI1, ta
ax O'eheels * Met
t "Well, E Pl idil'i tli.
IF'*eaf;L~r~ts~gi i

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