Newspaper Page Text
T,te fastidious publio: She (soorn
)- "Twenty-fve cents for that
hir r He-"Dot's der best I can4o,
IJdy. Dose segond hand hats vos hird
tosel Youa hat no idea how many
granks dere are vot von't buy nodinge
WtA new hatsl"-[Puck.
Oawker - "This -ar is affording
opportnnies for people to brush up ther
knowledge of geography." Cumso.
"Is it?" Cawker-"It is. Only yes
terday Sprocketts discovered that
Hampton Roads weren't good for cy
Askins-"I wonder how it is that
these actresses always look so young
in their lithographs?" Grimshiw
"Oh when an actress is young she has
her picture taken, and when she is old
she does not depart from it."-Judge.
Some men seek gloryin the cannon's
mouth, but those who seek it in their
own mouths are in an overwhelming
If there is any mystery about the
construction of any of Spain's battle
ships the Holland torpedo boat ought
to be able to get to the bottom of it.
No politician ever poses as a reformer
while in offimo
Our Amereian Peller.
T•e polio o this countr reasrdln for
Te i ogpllntionsems likeyda to remain
coneersvative. The Monroe adocine, accord
iqtotbe declaration of our ladingpolitic
Slans, will be sustained, but patienoe and Pm
denue ia oicial quarters wrl rstra e ex
uerane of blic opiilon. The wisest and
most m nurse for the rheumatic and
e m a is to use ioestetter's Stomach
Bitters which ala cures kidney complaint
Why does a man show his wife more cour
tesies abroad than at home ?-Chicago Daily
A Beauftehl Skis
is one of the chief requisites of an attractive
aupearance. Rough, dry, scaly patces, lit
tib blistery eruptions,red and uýghy ring
worms-these won1d spoil the bauy of a
veritable Venus. They are completely sod
ouckl elred by Tetterine. SO cents s box at
ru stores or for 50 cents in stamps from J.
T. hurine, Svasnnse, ta.
It is hard for bad motives to drive good
-Dme Tebsee Spit nad Sme testr sm away.
To quit tobacco easily and Iorever, be mea
lete, full of life, nerve and vigor, take No-To
o4. to wender-worker, that makes week -as
srong. Al druggists, oec or Si. Cure snarae
tes Booklet and sample free. Addreas
Stleu RDme Ca, Oieso oe New TWea
A woman with a baby always has the re
spect of everybody Around.--z.
meaety Is Blood Deep.
Clean blood mens a clean skin. No
beauty wlthoutt. Casoatete, Candy Cathar
tic cllam yoer blood and kee It clean, byo
stirrin. up the asy liver and dariing asl ti
banish fmples, boils, blotches, blackheads,
and tha sickly bilious complexion by taking
aesaretts,-beaty for ten cents. All drug
isats, atisfaction guaranteed, 10i, oe 60c.
The average engaged girl has no idea how
embarrassing it is to be embarrassed.
M W~Low's soothing S auJfor children
-leg ystpaioures wtnd oolic. No. a bottl
Disretion is not oowardiee,nefther is it
lateatly volubility courage.
Seat ree, Klondike Nap
_'saoeloi Co'WliJsion'a oicial survey. Ad
d ar de& Co., Colorado Springs. Coo.
Aout halt the men get married because
the'ns able to support a wife and half be
esae they're not
- Wewll give $10 rewasrd forany cms of ca
ththat c0a~ot be cured with Hual's Ca
te OrrC . Taken Lnternally. .
.J.O CO rT& Co, Props., Toledo O.
It is a wise man that dome't repeat his
Octa Y , s1134. s W.
w ith me ories do not neoes
Tocare eion l e V s.
Tae ls e ad Cathartic. i or ao.
ItC. C. C.l o eortdruggists refund money.
.The sates of andt, a Babylon belg at
pesmnt to two weathy Jews in Bagdad.
The Brat ladleation that a man s getting
et the hotra! is whenhee lets his hair
grow log.-X Bay.
Uuease Teaer Dewsts With Casassets
'b wise fther aiwaystriss to bringup his
ei dra the way he should have gdne.
A woman ma get a shbiftless husband in
boet Ave miantses, but It sometimes takes a
thne tocgetdd of hip.
STo Cre a Cold ta One S}ay.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
DAIUl sreftnd money If It fails to cure. t5c.
Whatever Nosh's shortoominas were he
IgeaoPugh to go in when it rained.
A sow my have many good qualittes, but
shei s too modest to blow her own horn.
Terrible Results of a all--How
Heasth Was Restored .
"I was Inj'red by a fall ad began to
have pains In my knees, rnd one of my
Sermped and paiaed me severely.
1"eimans deoided that I had a severe asee
of btpdlqsse. I was taken to a hospital
sad saderwet a operation but a earne was
p-t esreted, I had seven runnlng sores on
ee limb. At last I begar taklag Hood's
'SeierilIa and Improved from the Irst
b stt e. ood's sanparall bas entirely
setdme and Iam to-day in porf.ot health."
oas 0. Bou,, 45 Water Street, War,
Heed's PllAus ta ea A *H
ta the a
c reommad Coaaarebas
tse a shame Ca.Piteskur Ps.
A labeld lrs's aeasm .,
how The Mai, Mrf rd, Ld.'
'rsls malsybo t, a ptOpo65p school
girl of Mlfed, lad., Is of more han usual
.atetigese, ad Is amMbitiou to rise In the
"*In the all of 180s" said Mrs. Rybolt
"Etmma wa taken Ill. She was a cloee
studet and her work began to tell on her.
She grew wek, pale sand nervous, and com
palned of pWals in he baek, chest and
llb. A few weeks passed and abe grow
worse. The doetor said she was a vlctim of
nervous prostration, and should have been
taken fromhool weeks earlier. hegradu
ally ew worse, her nerves were so tense
that the leastnoIse Irritated her and she
had a fever and a 0ontlnual twitohing in
he musales. The symptoms were much
like St. Vitas' daane.
lp h yst elans,
but soon was
as bad as
" da I read of
a case similar
to hera whlch
Swas qared by
- r r Da1 . Dr. Williams'
P plls for Pale People and I decided to
'bllama had no faith ia proprietary medi
else list trltl the pills, and after taking a
doses doses, she W Iproe. It was
about the amt of l when she began and
-r the middle of May, after taking about
hbaxes, she was entirely cured.
'While til, she loet twenty-eight pounds,
bet now weighs more than ever before.
eBr aer alm strong and she Is in perise
health. We are all confident that Dr. Will
tams' PIck Pllm for Pale People cuared
her, gad I oeherftlly recommend them in
all amilar eases. Mas. E. A. Brsor."
Bubaribed and sworn to before me, this
third day of Septeber, ioP.
Out, Bns, Notary Publio.
Dr. WiUbas' Pink PUll for Pale People
will oeo all dlseases arising from a poor
and watery eondition of the blood, will
buid It aa down system and are a spe.
ldoe fo ralysis, locomotor ataxli and
therl long regarded as incurable.
A test of the smooth bore guns on the old
monitors show them to be very troublesome
austomers. 'Twas ever thus with smooth
Mrs . rs . Russell, Nashville, Tenn., writes:
"I can trul a that Dit. MOFFETT'A
TýanrlmA (TEEfHING POW DERS) are the
nreatest blessing to Teething Children that
the wolad has ever known. I have used them
two rears, add py baby would have hardly
lived through his econd summer If I had not
used these ers. May God reward him
for the 1 he has done teething Labies
through this remedy."
Married men alway have more buttons ofI
their clothes than bachelors.
B. B. E. Cures to Stay Cured.
Scrofula, Catarrh, Rhoumatism, all skin and
blood diseases, from the smallest pimple to the
foulest ulcer. $1.00 per large bottle, a wor $.10, at
Iruegism or snt for price, express paid, by
Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, s.
'Books of wonderful cures sont free.
A folding bed must be pulled down before
It can be done up.
ST. VITUS' DANCE. SPASMS and all ner
vousdel p d er lmaprently cured by the use
of Dr. Klne'moreat erve Restorer. Send for
]; tri~bottle and treatise to Dr.t
L Kne L, 081rch Street, Phila.. P.
The man who kicks for justice sometimes
gets more of it than he wants.
No.To-Be e for Fifty Cents.
Guaranteed tobaoo habit ure.makes weak
men strong,blood pure. Mc. 1. All druggists.
The man that makes the least noise is
often the most dangerous.
Se i s M netlso A universal aiu reliever.
Smt nle. the m usl-E.
o. Er ctd.. ,A,,h druast. have t
The tap s have a ostio- ouselebdtn
he b. otree. Amra tesn an n l
'--is oto vetsrma aents. Bal
elinso mn's . Lnibet radrtu. J. W.
it semsomtlmes as it half. the people
re busy making fool of themselves.-Ex.
Sptrmtne tly cured. to fits or nervous
an Ltr frmta' um of Dr. Kllne's Great
r·Meu aler. tril bottle ad treatei tfree
Dn.N.. KLiMD. Ltd.. $51 Arch at. Phila. Pa
The Japanese havne a custom of celebrating
the blossomin of the fruit trees by a general
No comparison! Naval Cammander-=
"To give you the information you ask,
yong man, would be premature, and
ight oost two or three battleships."
Oorrerpondent.-But, good heavens,
if I don't get that information, it may
cost me my job."--Chicago Tribune.
A Movable Epoch: "What ie 'time
immemorlal.' Unole Jim?" "Timhp im
memorial is ae faor back ase you feel
nsted on ancientt history."--Chiagog
"I hope, pana," aid Bobbie, "that
the govexrnment isn't buying its torpe
does of Mr. Spillkins down in the vil
bage. I got some there last Fourth of
July, and half of them wounldn't go
Perhaps that frenzy of enthusiam
whieh the correspondents represent as
existing at Key West over the notable
vietory of the Nashville was scarcely
warranted by the event if one consid
r onlythe importancs of the prize.
Giddy Young Thing-" Do yonu hknow
ht as Ha mlet youo reminded me very
much of Booth?" Eminent Young
Tragedian - "z h, indeed?" Giddy
Young Thing--"Yse; your costume was
aimost exactly like the one he usned to
wear when he played that part."
Burl Trepidation- 'tDoes Aunt Be
beca take any interest in the war?"
"Yes; she osays ishe hopes the guns
on't be near enough to disturb her
stting hens."-Chicngo Record.
Little Georgie-"Do you folks ever
hove family prayers before breakfast?"
Little Albert-"bo, we only harve
prayers before we gotobed. We in't
afraid in the daytime."--leveoand
When St. Louis heard the rumor
"ut the mule market had been cor
ad she rose *byaaoerlae an kieked.
For extra-hasdous war duty,aome
thingin whih dariag and snfferming
w-ould count, why not en a speoil
orpo of basebll umpires?
Awfully HardUp: Dunmore'hTbt
Smudgkins must be awfully hard up"
Dsdlow--"Why?" Dunmore --"ie's
been dunning me every day tor dol
lar, I owe him for the last six
Mrs. 5Y. --"I am worried becase my
m, and I 4 v what it is"
li s.--"Xs hbo, 1 keel
in. *a~T.i "~d
ItLL ARP'S iEYl 1 1,:TI
A BIT OF USEFUL ADVICE FOB
TINES OF TROUBLE.
IT IS A SIN TO ALWAYS GRUMBLE.
We ave Much to Be Thankful For, and
Should Try to Be Contest, Says
The best thing for a man or a wo
man to do in these troublous times is
to try to be content with our situation
and surroundings. Good Lord, what
a sight of time is wasted in longing
for what we haven't got and in appre
hending trouble that may never comel
Ambition for fame or wealth or power
is a mistake. It is worse-it is a sin,
for it is founded in selfishness. Burke
tried them all and acquired them all
and deserved them all, and yet in his
old age he said, in a letter to a friend:
"Solomon was right, for they are all
vanity. My time is nearly out and-I
would rather sleep in the corner of a
little country churchyard than in the
tomb of the Capulets."
I was ruminating about this because
a Singer sewing machine agent visited
my house today and when he found
we didn't want another machine he
sat in the veranda and we talked
about the war and about the beautiful
region and the lovely weather and
about inventions and progress and the
restlessness and discontent of the
people. He was a philosopher and
had traveled. We agreed that if a
man was making a fair living here he
ought to be not only contented, but
thankful and happy. "This is the
most attractive part of Georgia," said
he, "and I have not found a region so
signally blessed, and yet your people
do not seem to know it or to appreci
ate their good fortune."
That is true. What a good idea it
would be for a man to keep a debtor
and credit account with his Maker and
charge himself with every good thing
-his health and strength, his sun
shine and shower, the pure air and the
trees and fruits and flowers, the pictur
esque views of hills and valleys, the
fast flowing streams, the songs of the
birds and the music that cheers the
hearth and home. Then there is the
daily greetings and meetings with
kind neighbors and friends and the
merry voices of the children and the
peaceful, inviting sound of the Sab
bath bells--and the blessed privilege
of worshippizg God according to our
conscience, with none to molest or
make us afraid. Then there is the
daily morning prayer that is daily
answered. "Give us this day our daily
biead," and He gives it, for we have
neither tramps nor beggars to affliot
us and nobody suffers for bread or the
necessaries of life. Above all, we have
peace within our borders, and Pope
says that, "All the joys of reason and
of sense lie in three words-health,
peace and competence." Good graci
ousl what a debtor account we could
run up against ourselves, and every
item would be God-given.
Well, of course, there weuld be
some things to put down on the other
side-such as sickness, a death in the
family, or some afflicted child, or what
is worse, some son or daughter who
has disappointed our hopes or brought
grief to broken hearts. But most of
these things are not chargeable to
God, but rather to our own imprudence
or lack of duty. Fire and storm and
pestilence come through His laws, but
they rarely come.
There " is more sueshise than cloud
in our life if we only look at it right,
for we are the most helpless creatures
on earth, and a helpless man ought to
be thankful for everything he gets.
We don't know where we came from
nor where we are going nor when we
will have to go, and yet we see folks
strutting around and swelling up with
consequence.. The best wayis tooarr7
our sunshine along with us and divide
with our neighbors, and if they have
got any to spare let us get a little of
theirs and mix it. Heard a fat woman
say at a picnic: "Needent bother about
a uonshion for me; I always carry mine
along with me." That's a good ides.
I can pick outs a dozen men in this
town who carry sunshine, and you are
glad to meet them. There are many
more who carry dlouds and still many
more who don't carry anything. It
has been forty years since old Uncle
hilly liangh died, and I still treasure
his memory, for he carried sunshine
everywhere he went and never com
plained. If he couldn't sell his water
melons he gave them away. He raised
the best in the world, at least it seems
so to me now--a small, long, white,
thin rind melon with red meat and
white se~ds. He peddled them around
town. and like old General Bethune of
Columbus, talked to the pretty women
and looked at them through his spec
tacles. If they dident wish to bay, he
would say:. "'Well, I would like to
give you one if you will come after it."
But it tvocldent do to send a servant.
He said he wanted the sweet and pret
ty women to come .idh enough for his
old eyoed to nee them good, and so they
generally accepted the compliment and
went. My wife, she always went.
"When is it gcing to rain, Unele
Billy?" "You'll know by waiting," he
would reply. I think of that nowadays
when anybody asks me what will be
the ontoome of this old war. '"You'll
know by wailting;" and the days are all
coming this way. But the eager peo
ple don't want to wait. Aunt Ann,oar
old Guinea African pook, casme up this
morning wild with excitement. She
.Ieelared.that two trains went unp the
road "'bout Eayb -oak di mornin' all
loraded down wid 400 dead soldier
earryin' em to Chatnootggy to bhUy
'em. Dey just killed in de fast battle
aod hadn't been put in no eoda.
Blood runnin' from 'em through de
Boos ~ears je' like hogs. Dat's
what.d tells me.""
We ae having birthdays and ot
episodes at our houe nosrs d
is these weaft ea war.
and we managed to eab them
and coop them, and so we had
a couple for the dining. They were
rouan and fat and beautifully roasted.
There were twelve good lady women
or womanly ladies at the table besides
my wife and one man. I was that
The prophet Isaiah tells us of a
time coming when seven women shall
take hold of one man, but there were
thirteen after me, and I felt as meek
as Moses and as humble as a dead In
dian. I got along pretty well, though,
considering age and infirmity, and
stood by my colors until the strawber
ries and ice cream were served, which
was, I believe, the fourth or the fifth
oourse, and then I heard the door-bell
ring, or thought I did, and left the
festive board. These swell dinings are
hard upon me, and upon the children.
Two dear little granddaughters had
waited and waited and peeped through
the crack of the door a dozen times,
and when I went out one of them said,
"Grandpa, ain't they done yet?" It
reminded me of the old Scotchman
who got tired of waiting for his wife
to come home from meeting-so he
went after her-and, as she was near
the door, he tiptoed in and whis
pered, "Ain't he doon yit?" "Yes,"
said she, "he'be doon some time, but
he won't quit." My old friend, Eu
gene Harris, says he has watched the
Methodist preachers at his mother's
house during quarterly meetings
watched them through the crack of the
door until they had eaten the last giz
zard in the dish, and then they would
sit and sot over their coffee for half an
hour, and at last get up and say amen
and amen and pat their stomachs and
go, and then, and not till then, did we
boys get a chance at what little was
And our little orphan grandchild
had a birthday yesterday. She rose
up to nine years and gave a little out
door party to her little cousins. Ev
erything i.as home-made, and it was
nice, and I was invited and enjoyed
the cake and ice cream and strawber
ries as much as they did. And she
got some nice little presents from home
and abroad, and I believe that if I had
my way she should stay as young and
pretty and happy and innocent as she
is now all the rest of her days. But I
reckon that couldn't be did-could it?
-BILL An in Atlanta Constitution.
In the days of old he would have
rushed to his fate blindly, says the
Burlington (Iowa) Hawkeye, but the
new woman has made the new man
somewhat more cautious than he used
to be in the old days.
She could see by the way he fidget
ed around in his chair that he made
up his mind to come to the point that
evening, but desired to look a little
way into the future first.
"Sary," he said, abruptly, after a
rather painful silence, "hey ye any
"Nary bloom," she replied, prompt
"Ever expect to get any?" he per
"I never had no hankerin' fer
pants," she retorted.
"Sorter reckon that yer husband
kin look arter everythin' in the pants
line, do ye?"
"I wouldn't have a man that
"Course ye wouldn't," he said,
thoughtfully, and then he pondered
the matter for a few minutes before
"Hey ye any idee thet ye know
more about politics than me?" he in
quired at last.
"What d'ye s'pose I know 'bout
politics?" sheretorted. "D'ye reckon
there's any politics in the cook book?"
He nodded his head approvingly.
"I rather like the way ye talk," he
said "but ye don't seem to be up to
the ~imes. Most o' the wimmin now
adays wants to do all the votin' and
all the talkin'."
"'Tain't my style," she returned.
"D've think," he asked, beooming
more earnest than ever before, " thet
I know my own bus'ness better'n you
kin tell it to me?"
"I wouldn't have ye sparlin' round
here ef ye didn't," she answered
"That settles itl" he exclaimed,
joyfully. "Will ye marry me?"
And so the matter was settled.
Interviewed the Deptist.
A girl employed in one of the large
laundries in town found her teeth in
a rather deplorable condition a while
ago and decided to have a false setpof
molars. She gave her order to a
defitist, and when they were finished
he promised to send them to the
In the meantime, one of the men at
work about the laundry learned of her
predicament and decided to play a
joke upon her. While cleaning out
an ash barrel be discovered an old seMt
of false teeth which he brushed up
and wrapped in a piece of paper.
Ho then hired amessenger boy to de
liver the package to the girl person.
The set was evidently too large, for
when the girl came down to the laun
dry the next day she looked like a fe
male chimpanzee. Her mouth was
stretched all out of proportion. She
took them back to the dentist, and it
would be worth $7.63 to knotr what
she said, inwardly and outwardly, af
tar a petonal confab with the dentist.
The Ways of Childhood.
Great are the tribulations of moth
erhood. A member of the Mothers'
Oongre~ was asked by her good little
six-yea-old to lend him her large aoi*
sore. They weren't convenient at the
time, and, against his protest that he
couldn't use the little things, she gave
him her small emaroidery soisors.
The next day when she wanted them
sh6 asked for them, and he, turning
very red, left the room. In ten min
atee he returned sad gave her ona or
are fragments of the original article.
He said ain explanation: "I told you I
eoulda't pre the little ones,that I
wanted the'bigones, 6ut yeou weuldn't
listen te me. We" were playig baak
robberad I was thapobber."
WORtO OF WISOW
uilt arms shadows with spe.
EThe fOme of devotion is kindled
be altar of;prayer.
The best secret keeper is the one
that does not know it.
Leisure hours are the best or the
worst part of our lives.
No fraud is more wicked than
sheating in a love game.
Hope is the antomatic feeder in the
human threshing machine.
It is as easy to impose upon a child
once as it is diflicult to do it a second
Idle men are more burdened with
their time than the most busy are with
Set no standard for others-they
may live nearer to the light they have
received than you do.
Time is always tooled away, when
we try to build towers of our own
from which to get into heaven.
A man who does not know how to
learn from his mistakes turns the best
schoolmaster out of his life.
Do not try to drive some undesira
ble topic from your mind, but crowd
it out with something better.
Be patient with every one, but
above all with yourself. Do not be
disturbed because of your imperfec
tions, and always rise up bravely
from a fall.
Reverence is the soul of religion.
When that is gone, there is little left
with which God can be pleased.
Where nothing is sacred, everything
becomes common, even God himself.
Among the few ear troubles that
may be fittingly spoken of in this
journal comes, first and foremost, that
greatest of all ear troubles-deafness.
And deafness arises from a niumber of
causes, only one or two of which can
be indicated in this paper. A leading
aural surgeon states that numbers of
people travel hundreds and thousands
of miles to consult him about deaf
ness wvhi-h is entirely due to a collec
tion of wax in theears, which is easily
and safely removable with a syringe
and warm wafer. This experience is
fully borne out in that of other prac
titioners and patients who come to us
in great concern about their deafness
are sent away perfectly satisfied and
comforted by the application of some
softening pmaterial to the wax and the
removal of the softened mass by care
This leads to another cause of deaf
ness-a sore and congested throat,
and enlarged tonsils, quinsy, etc. The
deafness that not infrequently ao
companies a cold is in many cases
traceable to the blocking of these
little tubes, which convey air and
sound to the ear. Hence a gargle of
alum water with a little cayenne
pepper, may relieve this form of deaf
ness by improving the condition of
the throat; or a wet bandage round
the throat, covered in turn by gutta
percha tissue or flannel; or a linseed
poultice may cure the same condition;
and in cuases of chronically relaxed
throats, with accompanying deafnesas,
the cold douche to the throat is in
valuable, if systematically used; and
a chlorate of potash or carbolic acid
lozenge, eaten occasionally, will also
Cobalt mKie Eicher Than a Gold O.e.
A cobalt mine is more desirable
than the richest golden bonanza
of all of the Bocky Mountains, qpd
cobalt has been discovered at Grand
Encampment,Wyoming, bythe French
mineralogist, Charles Poulot. Cobalt
is worth $1.60 a pound, and George
Doane, the copper king of the Grand
Encampment district, has a mine
where thousaids of tons of this ore
are already in sight. Cobait is the
active principle that colors blue all
porcelain and glass. It is the active
principle of blue in oil .and water
painting. It is one of the rarest
minerals; Norway, Sweden, and
Bohemia have in the puast furnished
the bulk of the world's supply. The
Doape mine yields $18 to the ton in
cobalt. This is only one among
hundreds of copper mines at Grant
Encampment, and if they all contain
cobalt Wyoming's new mining distriot
within a year may be producing more
wealth than any three mining districts
in the world, not excepting Klondike,
the Transvaal, and Cripple Creek. If
cobalt exists in the Grand Enoamp
ment copper ore to the extent that M.
Poulot asserts from his chemical an
alysis of the Done ore Grand En
campment will add to the mineral
wealth of the world $100,000,000 an
nually or else the price of cobalt will
be reduced to a minimum.-New York
odd iaoo . OrGow wuashrems.
A tunnel sixty feet below the level
of the streets of Edinburgh, con
structed for the rise of the North
British Bailway some fifty years ago,
has been used for the past ten years
as a place for the cultivation of
mushrooms. It furnishes a constant
temperature and an absence of light,
both of wkioh conditions are favora
ble for the growth of the mnuahroosrb,
and so succeesful has the propagation
been that the Scottish Mushroom
Company is said .o be in eontrol of the
British market for oultivated mush
rooms. It uses 800 mushroom beds,
twelve by three feet .and the outputn
at times amounta to 5000 poadsof
mastfbtms per month. e eFet
has been to diminish the amount fur
nished by the French powers, wth
ket almost absoltely.
easkd the a rth.
The time reqpired for a-joarney
round the earth by a man walkig
day and night,.wtahoa t stig, wol
be4 8 days; ban esprea s r,
days; swid,t a mediaatamperstte,
-B8 howr; naja on -ball, 214 heran;
lght, a liale * asve u.teith.a see
end; - etoetrIt, paing orp a
While teaching a olsse i sandm
Ushool recently the teac~er asked:
"What was Nosh supposed o he deo
ing when the animals wem gog into
the ark?" She receivedsvral an
wers. At last a little girl put up her ,
hand. "Well," she asked, "what do
you say?" "Taking the tieketa, Mis.,"
Further Trouble: "It tlu' Spa. I'rm
afraid of," said the passenger with the
skull cap. "But after we have hum
bled Spain we are going to have trou
ble with another power that hasn't
been friendly to this country for sev
eral years." "What.power is that?"
asked the passenger in the linen dus
ter. "The United States senate," re
joined the other.--Chicago Tribune.
All He Required: Skullins (the road,
agent)-'-Lady, I stand in great need
uv symat'y." Lady-"Indeed?" Skul
lins-"Yes, lady. Im one uv de un
fortunates crew uv a Spanish merchant
ship de United States ships captured."
Lady-"Poor manl and so you are
looking for work?" Skiillins.-"No,
lady; food an' money is all I require."
Cool: "This is the fourth time you
have asked me to marry you," said
Miss Cayenne, rather impatiently.
"How often do you wish to refuse?"
"Well," replied Willie Wishington,
"I think three times quite sufficient."
Another Patriot-"I understand
that Bindle is going to apply for a
pension." "Upon what grounds, I
would like to know? He never fought
for his country." "No, but he came
over on the Paris and his nervous sys
tem was upset." Chicago News.
Unfilled Expectations: "That man
Tithertson's a regular torpedo boat."
"How do you make that out?" "Ever
since he was a boy at school people
have been predicting great things of
him, but he's never done anything
worth mentioning." - [Clevoland
A Remarkable Man-"Is TJones op
posed to the sensational newspapers?"
Smith-"He's not only opposed to
them, but he doesn't read them."
Henry V. was so swift a runner that
he could take a wild buck in a large
park without a bow or other weapon.
Prince Arthur, son of Henry VII.,
was a fine shot, and in his honor good
marksmen were frequently called Ar
Henry VIII. had several bowling
alleys built at the palace of Whitehall;
he excelled at throwing the hammer,
and at archery and made a law which
forbade any one over twenty years old
shooting at a mark less than 220 yards
Charles I. was playing chess when
he received the letter telling him that
the Soots had agreed to give him over
to the parliamentary forces.
James II. was so expert at golf that
no one could equal him except an En
inburgh shoemaker named Patterson,
whom he finally vanquished and pre
sented him with a large sum of zhoney
by way of consolation.
Different: "Those folks next door
must have bought that house." "What
makes yi think so ?" I heard her
scolding the maid for driving a picture
nail in the plaster."-Detroit Free
THE ILLS OF WOMEN
And How Mrs. Plnkham Helps
Mrs. MAar BOLuNGts, 1101 Marianna
St., Chicago, Ill., to Mrs. Pinkham:
"I have been troubled for the past
two years with falling of the womb,
leueorrhoen, pains over my body, slek
headaches, backache, nervoausness and
weakness. I tried doctors and vatious
remedies without relief. After taking
two bottles of your Vegetable Coan
pound, the relief I obtained was truly
wonderful. I havespow taken several
more bottles of your famous medichine,
and can say that I am entirely cured."
Mrs. HaIT Dona, No. 806 Wi dley St.,
'Cincinnati, Ohio, to Mrs. Pinkham:
"For a long time I saufered wlitl
chron in nflammation of the womb,'
pain in abdomen and bearing-down
feeling. Was very nervousat times, and
o weak I was hardly able to do any
thing. Was subject to headaches, also
troubled with leusacorrham. After doo
toring for many mouths with difterent
physliansand gettingnorellef,1 had
given up all hope of being well
again when I read of the greatod
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable *
pound haas doing. Idectded him-edi
ately to give it a triaL The resuait was
simply pat belief. After taking four
bottles of Vegetable Compound sad
-sing three pacekages of Saativet WasH
I eaisuay I feel like a new womau. I
dem it my duty to annom.ne the fat
to my fellow rnterers that Lydi
B. Pinkham's Vegetable remedsa have
entirely eured me of all my pas and
sufering. I have her alone to thaa'
for my reeovery, for whieh Iam pate
-l. . May heaven bless her for the
good weak she i. dstng lot our sx."
BFCTBD Y Gerstie's Female Panacea.
On BoWttle Cured Where Phycldra Palted.
too hone G~iscnrrggL m U. P.)
uP i 1 a t ol elJ~ffKr~~~g~q~~
not o ltrr tabi,(m s s w~rob~iA
CPJ~f~rs~(i~ki. 41 oLULANLDD
up b tb weak ab1. to t y
r 'ýNjJ -work. I on. bott 1t
e thm any Cos. c' e~r ued. IaiunS t
we $t. .o. haltl .nd 4o
sews Uveu Regiahe Gin.Ar
eer -. :trr -
arsl ro r .aed ssa- , "
adwe wE s! , t-ý
che .am. .1 Uit.
MKT ra fi f~t Te
An Expert's Opanio n g-- "I
oee the scientists eWlin that strtwbi
ies are 91 per cent water." Basto
-"The seientists areaway off. Strw
berries are 91 per cent box bottom."
On Deck: Acquaintanee-'"Yo
never get seasick, eh? Irlo badl"
The invalid-"Why is it too bad? I
have troubles enough." Acquaint
anee-But seasickness would make
yo forget all your other troubles."
Mr. Jonsing-"Jes' as I was comin'
out of Marse Jones' gate wif de fowls'
h inet de pshson." Wife (aghast)
"W-wot did he say?" Mr. Jonsing
"He said he was comin' ober totek
dinner wit us tomorrr."--Truth.
Suitor (to her young brother)
"Come, you ought to know; is there
any chance for me?" Brother-"Oh,
you are all right. That isn't what's
troubling Mame. She's wondering if
there's any chance for her."-Boston
"I hope that you fully appreciate
the fact that when you are married it
is for life, and that the obligations you
assume are most solemn," said the
minister to a couple about to be mar
ried in his study. "Yes, sir," replied
the bride, cheerily, "we know all about
it, for I have been married three times
before, and him twice, and we know
the ropes pretty well by this' time."
Both the method an results w-a
Syrup of Figse is taken; itis pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, sad acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the y..
tern etectually, dispels colds, be-ad
acshes and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duoed, pleasing to the taste and so
ceptable to the stomach, prompt iq
its action and truly benetlialli its
efects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend ii
to all and have made it the mo
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50
cent bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggst w
may not have it on han will pro
one it promptly for say cuea w
wishes to try it. Do notaooept.
CAt.lNIA FL WEF i C
as sAMOnSM, O1.
Advertise In this
Increase your Business.
Is a silent Canvasser
Always at work
In your ~Iterest.For liberal
rates Apply to the
Of this Paper,
Mll TOIlET OM El mil~ Au P
Bowdon Lithia Wate
Por Kidsey rd Bladder Troebles
A poldV* prve+ntv eat ToPt sa-'
-rFretrs. rerponPbl aaprsaduers _
BOWDE, I.THIA BPING, CAC
Bowenim Litau W. ati
or.idney sade ader re s.
A poM s prsev. s at, iS SG4,ad,_n ii