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The Banner-Democrat. (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, April 15, 1899, Image 1

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88064237/1899-04-15/ed-1/seq-1/

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_DP __, -P1 18N . - -
VLLE &CAnnerUentnzI.N
rrtow Man Talks Aboet Ash Wedaes.
dars easter and the Ushertin
In of lIa.
About this time of the year there
are so many feast days and fast days
and days dedicated to the saints that
it keeps me busy studying the books
eoas to be ready to explain them to
the children. Our numerous posterity
have inquiring minds and had rather
I would tell them than to study them
out for themselves. It mortifies my
pride if they ask me historical or ab
trase questions that I cannot answer,
and so I try to keep ahead and main
tain my reputation for wisdom as did
Goldsmith's schoolmaster whose pu
pils wondered "how one small head
ecold carry all it knew."
Now they want to know about St.
Valentine and St. Patrick and mardi
bras and Ash Wednesday, and so I had
toexplain how it was that St. Valen
tine's day and Shrove Tuesday, or,
mardi gras day, came together this
year, and how the first was fixed, but
the other was movable because Easter
as. And I had totell themhow bt.Val
eatine was a Christian martyr whc
Swa beheaded in the third century, -
and he was such a good, kind, loving
man that he was afterwards canonised
and enrolled among the saints and a
day set apart to his memory. It war
eMlieved in the olden time that the I
birdb mated on that day, and so it was I
the custom for young people to choose [
their sweethearts and send loving let.
trs to each other. They don't do that |
now to any alarming extent, but send
sf most ridiculous and hateful pie
tur~s and hurt feelings instead of mak
ing love, and I know that the good i
saint is grieved and mortified about it.
Mardi gras day is near at hand and a
the railroads have advertised cheap. I
schedules to New Orleans, for that is
the only city in the United States
where the French and Italians and
creoles are numerous enough and fool.
ish enough to perpetuate this idiotic
carnival. Mardi means Mars, the god of
war, and gras means fat. In French it ir
called boeuf gras or a fat ox. In En
glish it means a fat Tuesday. In the
Roman Catholic calendar it is called
Shrove Tuesday. These names of fat
Mars, fat ox and fat Tuesday all came
from a custom of the butchers in Ven
ice, who on the day before Lent se
lected the finest, largest and fattest o>
they could find and dressed him up in
a fancy costume and bedecked hitm
with flowers and set a little boy on hi'
back and led him through the streets
with banners waving and drums beat
ing and children shouting and follow
ing along just like our boys and ne
groes follow the band wagon of a circuu
Some say th at the butchers started
this parade to !,t their customers know
they woulden¶ have any more meat for
forty days and so they had better eat
a good deal that day and that the fat
ox would be slaughtered at noon for a
banquet that night. From this igno
,le beginning the annual celeblation
of Shrove Tuesday grew and grew intr
a great frolic by day and revelry by I
night, and as the display was mort
magnificent in Venice than in any I
other city it was calleu the carnival of
Now, children, you anru. know that I
the word carnival is a Latin word and
means "farewell to flesh," for the I
next day was the beginning of Lent, I
and no flesh was to be eaten for forty I
days. The first day of Lent was call I
ed Ash Wednesday because the priesr
humbled the people by throwinu
ashes on their foreheads. The ashes
are mixed with something that makes
them stick for a while. It is an olh:
ceremony that caine down from the
Jews. The day before Lent is calleo
Shrove Tuesday because on that day
the church people gathered in the
Schirohes and professed penitence and
were shriven or shrove or absolved
from their sins by the priests. Thir
was done early in the morning ano
felt o rood sad o soanure of sal
v tha t ameed and prance~
sad feastsd d hfrolioed with great
ahtu emd masy of tham joined iv
stau bettered thb er praehes
eoaul~asolve sr m esor ai ad make
oar eraletrin t srioiwo would prease
amrad. Mts 4ad our pk ers would
be b thetapsalk4Stts asow.
·S tiigs we alva4* ieu*i gas has
irt U5ir· lid
pation and shameless indulgence of L
kppetite and passion. Truly
'There was a sound of revelry by night, L
"And the Queen City had gathered there
"Her beauty and her--what?"
Whit a descration of the day of
penitence and absolution But our
protestant people do almost as bad in
the way they observe Christmas, and
this holy day has become a senseless
holiday. i
But, my children, there are many t
other notable church days about this i
time of the year. Easter will come at
the close of Lent, and you know what
that commemorates. In the meantime
we will have St. Patrick's Day on the
17th of March. He was another good
man who came to Ireland during the
fifth century as a missionary, and
converted the whole island to Chris
tian faith, and as the Irish believe,
exterminated all the snakes and en.t
omons insects and reptiles.
Next comes Palm Sunday, when the
priests bless thousands of palms and
give them to the people in commemo
ration of what the converted Jews did
for the Savior when he entered into
Jerusalem. Then, there are the three
ember days, which come on the 22d,
24th and 25th of this month. These
are to be observed with fasting and
prayer, because they represent the
opening of spring-the vernal equinox i
-"when the winter is over and gone, c
and the time for the singing of birds
has come, and the voice of the twittle
dove is heard in the land." The truth
is, the Roman Catholic church has
left but few days in the year that are
not set apart or dedicated to some
saint or service. They would have a
canonized more saints and set apart a
days for them, but the days gave out, b
and they had to stop. t
The priest have some kind of service E
on every one of these sacred days, and c
this keeps the good people alive to i
their duty as churchmen, and you will t
and that their are no church people a
more devotedly attached to their
church than the Roman Catholics, and a
no Christian women so zealous in good a
works as thejisters of charity. I saw b
them in Memphis during the scourge 'I
of yellow fever, and they were work- f
ing day and night to help the poor and i
stayed with them to the last. All i
other women left as soon as they
sould get away.--BxLL Am in Atlanta a
kiRU avpd speed of Solaiers.
An interesting experiment has fast
been made by the Prussian war de
partment, with a view to discover the
speed with which artisans can work 1
in a given time in the ranks of the t
German army, says the London Tel- q
graph. Twelve hundred bootmakers.
selected from the eighteen army eorp 7
scattered about the empire, were sum
moned just over a month ago to Ber
lin, to go through a course of font
weeks' work. Eighteen colonels, lieun
tenant-colonels and captains, with a
corresponding number of noncommis
sioned officers, were ordered to come
to the capital to superintend the men.
The men were quartered in the bar
racks of the 1st field artillery regiment a
of the Prussian guards and performed
their daily work there. About forty
locksmiths were told off to repair i
their machines when necessary. The
men worked in two divisions continu
ously day and night, one division re
lieving the other. One division worked
from 2 p. m. till 2 a. m., whereupon f
they were relieved by the other party, c
which in its turn worked from 2 a. m. 1
till 2 p. m. Two pauses of half an
hour each were made in each twelve 5
hours' work. The men got their din- c
nor in the barracks-the one section
Immediately before settling down to
work, the other section immediately a
after their work. The wages given i
eoincided with the wages given in time n
of war-8s for ten days, including t
bread money. The 1,200 men made a
3,600 pairs of boots per day-that is to a
my, infantry and cavalry boots and I
lace shoes. d
wEn iAvonrrI YOUTH. 5
iRe senther bouquets and he scribbled F
her notes
With persistency loyal, but rash. a
His posies she wears and his sayings
she quotes;
Nut she'll probably marry the youth 2
who devotes
His resoaras to ,stherlnar eab, II
A euuewleo as wan nooa, n
"My dear." said a gentleman to*1
wife, "our edub is going to have al
the home pomforts."
"Indeed, ' replied she; "and whena
Is ear home going to have all the a
dub emfaterts "
sa'bozwrxa sTAtn. t
"I noticed an attraotive advertie -
meat in the paper this morning," said
Mr. McBride to his wife.
"Was it a millineary opening t"
"No; it was a dentist's advertise
mest; ad what partienlarly ptruck
me was the annouscement that undr ;
ao eireaumstaees would he furnaish
-an., thea e aset of teeth to a eoe
ga, 4bt t " irmed *a-.*" "
- "·(m r MI Mr. BleWs
i qa'#w
Their Publication Has Beeome an Im
portant American Industry--ortune
Awaits a Man With a Catchy Air and
a Striking Lot of Words.
"The publishing of popular songs,"
said a song writer to a Sun man, "is
an important industry. At least five
big houses are interested heavily in
the popular song business, with offices
in New York and several other cities,
and they give employment to hun
dreds of persons. There are several
printers who print songs almost excln
sively; more paper is consumed in a
year in the business than is used by
many newspapers, and many thou
sands of dollars are spent yearly for
advertising. Few good songs come
to-day from England, which once prac
tically supplied the market, but Amer
icoan songs are sold there in large
numbers and thousands of copies go
every year to Germany. All this is a
comparatively recent development.
Fifteen years ago *there was little
money in the popular song business,
but to-day there is a fortune in it for
a man with two or three catchy songs,
a little money and brains.
"The man who wrote the words and
music of 'Break the News to Mother'
is credited with having made $20,000
out of it. He is his own publisher,
and has his headquarters in a Western
city and offices in New York and two
other cities. He writes three or four
songs a year, publishes half a dozen
or so of the songs of other writers, and
is in receipt of an income that is very
close to $85,000. Yet hardly six years
ago, when he wrote 'After the Ball,'
he was unknown and poor. He is said
to have offered that song for almost
nothing to several firms and at last
could only get it published by borrow
ing money and printing it himself. It
became very popular, and its success
made its author.
"The oldest firm in the business
started a dozen years ago in a little
store in which there was scarcely
btanding room for a desk and a piano.
The father and sons who composed the
firm worked hard for success and got
it, and to-day occupy a three-story
building and do yearly a business of
$100,000. A few years ago two young
men wrote a tearful song entitled, 'My
Mother Was a Lady' and published it
with gratifying success. They have
written four songs since then, but the
publishing of other people's songs
keeps them so busy now that they have
little time to write themselves. Lately
they have removed into new and larger
quarters and apparently are making a
good deal of money. Yet only a few
years ago they were unknown men
with a few hundred dollars of capital.
"About eighteen years ago the man
who is now perhaps the most popular
song writer in the country had his first
song sung by a minqtrel company. Its
success encouraged him to stick to the
business, and he has written since that
time nearly a hundred songs. After
having made the fortunes of two pub
lishing houses, he became associated
about four years ago with two young
men with enterprise and some capital
and the success of the three partners
is-mazing. If the removal from small
offices to large quarters is a sign of
suacess, then this firm is enjoying it.
One of its rivals is a man who writes
as well as publishes. He started out
for himself about the time his 'Bastus
on Parade' was written, and has fol
lowed up that great hit with 'A Georgia
Camp Meeting,' which, arranged as an
instrumental piece, is a wonderful suc
cess, and will probably be played for
years. The man whose name has been
mentioned in connection with the man
agement of one of the newer boxers is
in the popular song business, and has
managed to score a hit with each of
the six songs he has written. He was
not so well known three years ago,
and he had very little money then to
back fighters with, too. To-day it is
different, and his income from songs is
a handsome one. The newest firm of
publishers has been in business hardly
a year, but it has issued several hits
and will end the year with a big profit.
"The position to-day of the song
writer is far better than it used to be.
There was a time when he sold his
songs outright for ten or fifteen dol
lars, and was glad to get that much,
for if they were published on royalty
he seldom saw a cent of what was due
to him. Now there are no irresponsi
ble publishers, and a writer receives
so many eents a copy on all copies sold
of his songs. There are, perhaps,
twenty men who make every year at
thepresent time more than $2000 by
trting soags, and a few of them aver
age w7500. It will be seen that the
writing and publishing of popular
soMn is a pofitable business."
wew - Iseaud.
Williams," asked the intretor,
"wheh i tkhe largest island in the
It's ethme Asia or Afrie~,"rqpi-_d
the "ug me towhom theq qsstie
"I em qesklage or sads, WI
" 1 m &wh I
An Eplaode Not Down in the OSesal Be
port of the Batto.
On July 1, 1898, when the battle at 1
Caney was hottest, a curious commo
tion among the Spanish soldiers was
visible in one of the trenches which
defended the town. These trenches
were all on the outskirts of the town
and frequently were immediately in
front of buildings The place was in
habited at the time of the attack, and 4
bullets and shells went flying through 3
the flimsy houses. There were sev
eral horses in the town, some of which
were seen rushing about the streets
during the bombardment. There were
a few cattle, including a superb bull
kept for the performances in the ball
ring at Santiago, nearby. This fine
animal was uninjured during the fight,
but he was "looted" by the Cubans
after the town was taken, and ignom
iniously led by the nose to the main i
Cuban camp, to be slaughtered for
food for the insurgent soldiers.
There were also animals of another
sort, as the incident to which allusion
has been made proved. Toward the
middle of the day the watching Ameri
can soldiers on the nearest line saw a
half-grown pig come running out of a
low-thatched building inside the Span
ish trenches, and rounding a corner of 1
the ditch take tq flight outside the
trenches, in the direction of the
American position.
Evidently he had been lodged un
der the thatch-roofed house just be
hind the trench, in the free-and-easy
domestic manner in which Cuban pigs
are generally taken care of. A bullet
or a shell had invaded his retreat,
shattered his inclosure, set him free
and scared him almost to death at the
same time.
The Spanish soldiers ceased their
firing as the pig escaped, and there
was commotion among them. Pres
ently this commotion resolved itself
into a rush of several soldiers out of
the trench and in the direction of the
pig. Soon there were fifteen of them
out in the open, in the full sweep of
the American fire.
Some of them ran to head off the
pig and others rushed up behind to
catch him. The pig wheeled and
dodged and the soldiers wheeled and
dodged after him. Their voices rose
in a chorus of Spanish shouts. Up
and down went the pig; when a sol
dier's hands were on him he would
make a twist and wriggle himself 1
away. Once he made a long run
straight toward the !American lines; it
did not help him, for the soldiers were
after him entirely disregarding the
battle. Some of them headed him off 1
again, and in another moment an
athletic young soldier had seized first
his tail and then his legs. Still an
other moment and the pig, firmly
held, was on his way back to the
trenches, riding on the shoulder of
this young man, his forelegs gripped
by one hand and his hind legs by the
The soldiers resumed their places in
the trench; the one who had the pig
put him back into the thatch-roofed t
building, and presently returned to f
his own place and took up his gun.
It is safe to say that during the i
chase of the pig no American soldier
who esaw the affair discharged his gun
at the group. The Americans who
saw it were too full of admiration and t
astonishment to add to the dangers i
which the audacious Spaniards were
under; but thousands of Americans
who could not see the incident were
blazing away in that direction, and 1
the Spaniards who were chasing the
pig must have heard a greatmany bul- 1
lets whistling about their ears during
their performanoe.
The Americans who were within
view of the occurrence were confirmed
by it in the opinion which they had t
begun to form already, that the peo- s
ple at home who had told them that
the Spaniards were cowards did not t
know what they were talking about,
A Mean Husband.
The tea things had been eleared 
away, and the head of the establish
ment was trying to read the evening
paper while his better half busied
herself with some fancy-work, and at
the same time endeavored to interest
him. in the gossip of the neighbor
hood. t
"Maria," said he, glancoing up from
his paper, "did you everhearthestory I
of precious gems?"
"Why, no," she replied; "what is
"It's an old-time fairy legend that
my grandmother told me when I wus
a boy," he continued, "aboutawoman
from whose lips there fell either a
Idiamond or a ruby every time she
spoke a word."
"Well, go on," she said.
"That's all there is of it, Maris," he
replied. "But I was just thinking if
such things happened nowadays I'd
open a jewelry store the irst thing in
the morning."
And then for thirteen oonsenutive
minutes silence reigned supreme.-
Chicago News.
s w.ated It Wesi.
A otema went t lendea fiar 'a
boUiday. Walking along one of the o
sre, he otiod bald M -headdi I
lageledifhe hd sayba restore?
·- 43PVman Lsma4s m3
*s lea- e -o U
The Queer Set of Cireumstanees what Pre
served Wingate's Life-While Caught
in a Big Bear Trap He Climbed a Tree
and Baffled Brain in Amusing Fashion.
T. M. Wingate was one of a party of
Green Brier Nimrods hnnting over the
Bear Meadow grounds in Pennsylvania
recently. Wingate had been standing
watch on a deer crossing almost the
entire day without espying any game.
Toward evening he started on the re
turn to camp for the night.
Hurrying over the rocks and fallen
trees in his descent from the top of
the ridge on r hich he had been stand
ing, he struck what appeared a well
marked trail. As it led in the direc
tion he wanted to go,Wingate decided
to follow it.
He had not gone far when he stepped
on something that yielded under his
weight. There was a snap and a clang
of metal, a shower of twigs and leaves
thrown in the air, a binding sensation
about his righ": ankle, and Wingate
found himself eaught in the jaws of a
big bear trap. The pain experienced
by the blow on the bones when the
teeth of the trap sprang caused him to
Just how long he remained uncon
scious Wingate could not tell. When
he revived he saw a big she bear sit
ting on her haunches not a rod away,
with the hunter's gun in her paws.
Fast in a steel trap, weakened by the
pain he was suffering, faced by a vi
cious animal that was in possession of
his only weapon of defence, Wingate
felt that he was, indeed, in a fix.
Wingate's first impulse was to cry
aloud for help, but he knew the hunt
ing camp was miles away and that his
cries could not be heard. He made
an attempt to reach his gun, which by
this time the bear had dropped, but
the move was met by such a threaten
ing growl from Bruin that he stopped
short. Possibly a half hour passed
thus when the bear showed signs of
increasing restlessness. Snarling and
growling, twisting and turning, but
with always a watchful eye on Win
gate, the old bear expressed a deter.
mination to stay it out.
The hunter racked his brain for
some possible way of escape. He had
been stealthily trying the springs of
the trap, but found them beyond his
power to move, and he had about given
up hope, with a thought that it was
only a matter of time until he would
be seized, when, like an inspiration,
an idea flashed through his head.
The trap was chained about a large
tree, the chain being loose about the
trunk, but locked shut. Wingate's
idea was that if he could climb the
tree, dragging the trap with him, he
might escape. Summoning all his
available strength for one supreme ef
fort, he arose on his left foot, clasped
the tree and climbed for his life. The
tree happened to be a slippery elm
that had been barked for a distance
from the ground so that the chain
slipped up easily. He was fully ten
feet from the earth before the bear
seemed to realize what was being done.
With a rush and a blood-curdling
growl Bruin made for the tree, while
the hunter climbed still higher. Win
g :te's leg was badly torn and braised,
and the blood trickled dlown the tree
side, a red trail to the ground below.
As events proved, this alone saved his
life. Bruin did not at once begin to
climb the tree, but danced about on
her hind legs, and, with her mouth
wide open, licked the drops of blood
which had flowed from Wingate's ankle.
Then a most unexpected thing hap
pened. The bear having moistened
the barked elm, it became as slippery
as glass, and when she undertook to
climb the tree she could no more do it
than one could climb a greased pole.
Time after time did she try to raise
herself along the tree trunk, but each
effort only resulted in her sliding
back to the bottom. The longer she
tried, the more enraged the bear be
came. In the fury and fuss the trunk
of the elm became covered with a
lather and the bear soaked with it.
Finally the animal became so ex
hansted from her efforts to get up the
tree that she could no longer stand on
her feet. Covered with the elm juioe
from head to foot, the great brate
slipped and rolled in complete help
lessness. Again and again she tried
to get on all fours, but struggle as she
would, the effort was always in vain.
With all the pain he suffered, and a
realization of the danger he had so
narrowly and providentially escaped,
Wingate could not help but laugh at
the sight beneath him, and he irwas not
slow to take advantage of such a
ehance of fortune.
He knew that it he did not act at
once the slippery lather that then
rendered the bear so helpless would
soon dry, and then the'opportunity
would be passed. Slipping down the
tree again, he was able, by lying at
full length on the groand, to reach
his gan, and with it ones in his poe
session itwas but the work of a min
ute to send a Winehester ball erash
ing through the besr skull, quieting
Brain forever, and leaving him un
meneed to try to liberate himself
from the trap.
PFar almost half a hear Wiageto
poundaed the trap with stones ia n
e t to break it His stregth was
hLt fatliag, and he wa ab t to gise
e ta d r whoa the henemansl
rmerted the ateneatk ip shmen
the largest bear killed in those parts
this season.
That night the old woodsmen's
cabin rang with laughter many a
time, as the young hunter recounted
his wonderful experience, and it was
the verdict of all that of all the wild
hunting tales that have been told in
the camps of the Bear Meadows, none
has been more wonderful than Win
gate's thrilling experienoe.-New
York Sun.
Some Amrlemewa oerale.
We had not seen the fight of the
cavalry brigade, says Frederic Rem
ington in Harper's Monthly, because
we were not at the front. We would
not let it happen again. We slang
our packs a.,d most industriously
plodded up the Via del Bey until we
got to within hailing distance of the
picket posts, and he said: "Now,
Frederic, we will stay here. They
will pull off no more fights of which
we are not a party of the first part."
And stay we did. If General Lawton
moved ahead, we went up and culti
rated Lawton; but if General Chaffee
got ahead, we were his friends, and
gathered at his mess fire. To be
popular with us it was necessary for
a General to have command of the ad
But what satisfying soldiers Law
ton and Chaffee are! Both seasoned,
professional military types. Lawton,
big and long, forceful, and with iron
determination. Chaflee, who never
dismounts but for a little sleep during
the darkest hours of the night, and
whose head might have been present
ed to him by one of William's Norman
barons. Such a head! We used to
sit around and study that head. It
does not belond to the period; it isre
mote, when the race was young and
strong; and it has "warrior" sculp
tured in every line. It may seem
trivial to you, but I must have people
"look their part." That so many de
not in this age is probably because
men are so complicated; but "war is
a primitive art," and that is the one
objection I had to von Moltke, with
his simple student face. He might
have been anything. Ohaffee is a sol.
The Leopard sad the PWa.
One day a worthy Kula housewife
came out from her cooking, and stand.
ing on the ledge of rook at her door,
emptied a pan of boiling water into the
rank herbage growing below. It fell,
splash, on the back of a sleeping leop
ard, who jumped perpendicularly into
the air as high as the roof of the hut.
What might have happened nextt
Who can say? But the astonished
woman dropped the pan with a elang
upon the rook, and the leopard took
one leap down hill. The pan followed,
and the leopard's downward leaps be
came longer and swifter as the pan
bounded after it from rook to rook.
When last seen the leopard had just
achieved a leap of about three hun
dred and fifty feet to the very bottom
of the ravine, thousands of feet below,
and the pan had whirled about five
hundred feet over it on to the opposite
side. The leopard would 'have eaten
the old woman with pleasure; but a
pan which first scalded half the hide
off him and then bounded clanging in
his wake from the top of the Himan
layas to the plains below was some
thing which he could not face.--Good
AdvantagSe f ned Balt.
Baed-headed men and women enjoy
a decided advantage over their fellow
mortals with hair of other colors in
that they are less subject to baldness.
Scientists have pondered over this
condition without finding a satisfa
tory explanation of it. Generally
speaking, the mental and physieal
tendencies of the Titan element are
not different from those of other peo
ple, at all events not sufficiently so to
account for the more durable growth
of hair.
A physician with a bent for invetl
gation has made a stady of the sub
ject and explains that the red-hedadd
person has the adrantage beeause red
hairs are thicker than other kinds
and it takes fewer of them to cover a
sealp. He findsthatone red h.iris
as thiok as five blond or three bown
hairs. Thus, a salp is well oovered
with 80,000 red hairs, while it would
appear to be bald with the same num
bar of blonde hairs. His investiga
tion shows that it takes 160,000 blonds
or 105,000 brown hairs to eover a
average head adequately.
Speking of Sarsh Bernhardt, they
tell this of her in London, where she
was luast spring. The great one
dropped into a book seller's shop one
morning. "I sold her quite a pileof
books," add the proprietor, "and
showed her every attention, and she
seemed pleased. As she was going
out she took hold of my pencil and
asked me something in French, whioh
I did not uaderstnad. Seeing that I
failed to eateh her meaning, she
looked about on the eoaunters, then,
qauok as a ash, she took up a voluame
of one of the vtry best sets of 8eoti,
bound in tnree ealf, opened it st the
very eantre, wrote something quietly,
almly tore out the letaf, handed it to
me, smiled and went out."
The stouaded bookseller looked at
the lea sad distovered that Sarah
had written a pas for tweo to r h pa
frmas- that - naXalai
-- A ases to maske msea
Mrs. Peck-"Henry, I've been talk
ing to you for twenty minutes, and
I11 bet you don't know a word I've
Mr. Peak-"Say, go and try to get
somebody outside of the family to
take that bet will you?"
"They's going to be something the
matter with my big brother Jim next
week," said a six-year-old ohild to her
"Indeed," said the teacher, "what
Is going to be the matter with Jim ?"
"He's going to get married; that's
what's going to ail him," was the ear
orisian reFlY.
Mrs. Henpeck- Do you dare to look
me in the faoe and say that t
Mr. Henpek-Not en your life,
I propose to always reserve the right
to dodge whenever I make a remark
to you.
The rolling pin struok a corne el
the mantel sad fell harmlessly to the
rat naonunrs s on
City Editor-"The skt) is all es
eltement. A eleotrio light wire has
blocked tMec, and no one knows
whether it is a live wire or not."
dlitor-"Detail two reporters to
go to the wire immediately-one to
feel of it and the other to write up the
Imonurwo asLBIMIST.
Old Fogle-The country is goin
-t the dogs. I'm as oertain of it as I
ever was of anything.
Old Keener-By the way, what'll
you ell that aore lot on the corner of
_rsand Martha streets for ?
Old Fogle-That lot is not for sal4e
Ishall hold onto it. In less than tea
years it will bring more than double
what it would sell for to-day.
waWrno twI wOLns orse.
Bridget-There's a man in the par
for wants to see you, sir.
Mr. Ardnp-'il be there ia a
minute. Ask him to take a chair.
Bridget-Snrer sir, he says he's
going to take all the furniture. Ho's
frnm the installment company.
inc tyranny or trust s tae most pop
ular of texts; but there is occasionally
some tyranny on the other side. For
example, a well-known trust, which Is
building new offices, has Just received
notice from a walking-delegate that It
must buy the lumber needed in New
York City. If it contracts for It out
side of that city, every man at work on
the building will go on a strike. The
trust announced that it would purchase
Its supplies wherever it could get them
Oreece may :e w·i.ipetld, but she will
do her best to puit a bt;lge In Colonel
lamid's pension iist.
More than two hundred munic;pali
ties in England, Scotland, and Ireland
now own the municipal gas works.
TIA00 "
Mississippi Valley
-rUned a-ibtae
Unsurpassed : Da1l : Service
connecting at Memphis with
trains of the Illinois ena
tral Bailroad for
Cairo, St. Louis, Chicago, Cin
cinnati, Louisville,
making direct connections with through
trains for all points
including Buffalo, Pittsburg, Oleve
land, Boston, New York, Philadelphia,
Baltimore, RBihmond, St. Paul, Min
neapolis, Omaha, Kansas City. Hot
Springs, Ark., and Denver. Close
connection at Ohicago with Central
Miimsippi Valley Bouts, Solid Fast
Vestibuled Daily Trains for
sand the West. Partiuonlars of agents
of the Y. A M. V. and oo'weoting lines
Wx. MinutA, Dlv. Pea. Ag.,
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Joe. A. Boos, DIvy. Fa. Agt.,
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W. A. Kar..ao, A. (. P. A..
Betwas the
North and South.
Only diUnrt rote to
IMph, St. Lsi. , Cmigap, him Clii
usad all points
Only direet route to
kJchu YinsbB, lw IM i
And all poinis in TQas sad the South.
Double Dai1trasl
Past time
• pestonsto
Sriver at C"~O
(freight sad pmssa aOUl)*.W rtb
Iforsr~~i~·*r trans-~

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