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The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, November 21, 1902, Image 2

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88064402/1902-11-21/ed-1/seq-2/

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Mrs. Goodheart's Strange Comment on
Husband's Plan.
When Mr. Goodheart came home to
supper he found Mrs. Goodheart in a
state akin to despondency, which was
quite unusual with her.
. "Why, ray dear, what is the mat
ter?" he anxiously inquired.
"Matter enough," said she. "Our
R-srvant has left us. and here is a let
ter from Sarah Armatige saying she
will be here to-morrow, and expects
to stay over Sunday witi us. What
a earth is to be done?"
"Oh, that will be all right," said
Mr. Goodheart. "Harold can act as
_dining room waiter, Millie can be
maid of all work, and you can be
cook. You know you are a good one.
We shall get along swimmingly."
"And what will you do?" inquired
Mrs. Goodheart.
"Me? Oh, I'll be a gentleman," he
"Very well, we will try your plan,
Edmund," said she, cheerfully; "but
I am afraid we shall all feel rather
irkward in our unaccustomed roles."
Mr. Goodheart says she was as
bcheerful as a lark all the remainder
of the evening.
'Remarkable List Read at Meeting in
New York.
The most remarkable list of old
members of the New York Historical
society who have died within the last
Land in NVew Yorf at $450 a Squarec 'c t.
[Figures in map from Yale- Review show valiuos per square foot.] t
* .
not only elevated office buildings
twenty and more stories into the air,
Sbrit has sent the price of land up to
an. m almost incredible height. Richard
°M. Hurd, writing in the Yale Review,
gives figures that would seem to show
that we come near to having "golden
streets" In a locality that in some
other respects is not so sfuggesti-ve of
the better land. He gives the follow
Ing interesting figures in regard to
New York:
"The banking district appears to
laclude the most valuable land in the
,:world, the financial section in London
being the only competitor. The two
t n,eners of Wall street and Broad
 bgtreet were sold about thirty years ago
.t $350 per square foot, and $450 has
',beean offered for the corner of Wall
street and Broadway, by contrast with
`lh1ch the Statist says that £62 (or
a) a square foot, including a fairly
'ugbtantial building, is the highest
<pice, known in London.
"The average price of land in the j a
district varies from $150 to
three months was read at the reguar
meeting of the society last week.
Eleven names comprise the necrology
and the average age was over 76
years. The oldest member was Ran
Adolph W. Townsend. who was 91 years
of age, and had b ,en a life menmber
since 184)0. Another: I I:  't:itrian was
William Miles, 90 years old,. who had
been a life member since 1845. The
Rev. Dr. Thomas Gallaudet, who was
81 years old, had alto beetn a nieniler
since 1845. No members are now liv
ing who joined previous to that year,
and there is now but one 18-15 stir
vivor. He is Paul N. Spofford. and he
has the honor of being the oldest liv
ing member in the society. Ife is
about 90 years old and is too feeble to
attend any of the meetings. Tihe other
deceased members were ].uther It.
Marsh, 89; Samuel D. Babloeck, 82;
William Allen Butler, 78; Eugene A.
Hoffman, 74; Henry WV. lilby, .69;
Isaac Myer, 66; James Betnkard, G3,
and Nicholas Fish, 57.-New York
Senator Dolliver Tells Incident of His
Early Life.
Senator Dolliver of Iowa tells of an
embarrassing incident which once oc
curred to him. It is supposed to il
lustrate the difficulty a man of small
means finds in getting along at the
national capital.
"On one occasion I was invited to
attend a social function given by a
high official. I went and had a most
b "I
10 20 z e I 2 o
18. 20 ^+ 5
60 IS
20 220 8
K. 9 9
30 $5 6U I. I i t/'
30 1 30
Q s
\ \ s
°al c,ýle» bleGl_
HE , ©Y1
"'\·~qS~ I~ISWýO I
$201) per square foot. Next in the
scale conles the wo.imn 's shopping
district oi Sixth avoennll. from Four
teenth to Twenty-third street: also on
Twenty-hiilrd. Thirty-fourth antid Forty
second streets, and on Broadway. from
Ninth to Twenty-third street, with an
average scale of $60 to $100, and an
occasional sale such as that at Sixth
avenue and Twenty-second street, at
$180, and the northwest corner of
Broadway and Thirty-fourth street
(having an area of less than 2,000
square feet) at $350."
Any one who can foresee the move
ments of population, business, and
real estate values in New York, or
anywhere else, has. it is needless to
say, a lucrative gift. Mr. Hurd haz
ards the following predictions:
delightful time, conlluding that Wash
ing social life was not a thing to be
in the least afraid of. This concluston
was reached, by the way, just as I
was taking leave of the host.
"A liveried servant approached me
an tl I:rl if my carria'e wa:; in wait
iri.' 't :. :hetilh r it ;: a .ii .:e or
doubleo- .o:vtyance. O()it of co::(sider
ation for a loan ,,l'ei.t-,nook I had or
dtered a caltb ratheler1 itn1 tn-;:orl's
carriage. I had the pi:, . e ef hear
iag the servant shti::.; ,o the car
ria-e driver:
" 'S0iendte I)ol\ i or' on 'e-hoi e haik!
Senator I)olliver '; ore-i lrse  acl,!'
"*The na- ti'n "a:-'ne to ::n-. and,
with hi head e ,i-.:i i tIhe air. an
no-n( ce. l : ' ti) " !our !.' , w;atiniu', ;,ena
tor 1)elliv. r.' "- Th' PIl' rim.
Disbeli-ves in Vecotarianirnm.
"'1y experience in diiting w"ritos
Dr. Yorke Davies, "'teac'hes ne that
those ooplie tVho i-at a lit-cpler amount
of meat, lish. anli alinual fo'd 'tpiner
ally are strn ol ani' an i \ elry way
physically and tilntanily so leior to
vegetarialns, and I l-Deik fiOnl a very
large expelli'lnce in 1ti:. nlatic r." '
Fine Collection of Picneer Relics.
Elwell thoyt. a '-a'; 'laire-. Mich.,
has thiP Im:ot c(ontilut' . c'!lection of
pioneer retlii.s in the1 (',C ntrnl States,
and keelus t.h~erit in t li c,- inli hullt at
his horne for that ,luur:e.
Railroad BuildinLg un Japan.
In the pa- t i'ty ::,-r' s !:-latn has
built 4,0i10 mi of ail i ai:lay
"It apprearis iurjie iprobal)le that the
greI'at er p f);:' f ) 1 ,' SlurfacI(P of Mlallnllhat
tan island will he iltimatov deiotled
Ito but ini ;:. stiullyv. tI space above
the grl:ou d t i ov. if not ttilized for
business. heinig o(ccupioed by hotels.
apartment houlses, flats and tene.
ments. Plrolbably the only exclusive
residence (ccu'llpalincy will be in the
most. fashionable localities in and
near Fifth avenue and (Cent ral park,
where the rich who desire to live in
town. can afford to hold their propert ,
against the encroachments of busi
ness. Even here restrictions running
with the land may be necessary, the
weakness of their position berng that
one shop injures an entire block, while
one residence may have but little
effect on a block of stores."

No Doubt of It.
The waiter started as the woman
Evt up and left the restaurant. Then
as she disappeared into the street he
rushed up to the proprietor and whis
pered into his ears:
"That woman was a man in dis
"What makes you think so?"
"I'm sure of it," said the ma-' with
the napkin. "She ordered a steak, po
tatose, salad, cheese and pie-none of
your coffee and rolls-and"--here he
hissed the words into the ear of his
listener-"she tipped me!"
Nothing Doing.
Goodhart--'m surprised that you
shouldn't consider him charitable.
Whenever any of his neighbors are in
trouble he's always the first to ask if
he can do anything for them.
Pepprey--Yes. he goes about it like
a woman out shopping. It doesn't
c(ost him anything to ask questions.
Undeserved Credit.
"Silas Brinkner says he stayed un
der water ter nigh a minit-'n'a-half
one day las' summer."
"Indeed! He must be amphibious."
"Eh! Well, if that's the Greek for
liar you've hit it right fust time.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Leading Man-We are having an awful time playing Quo Vadis" In
Kansas City.
Manager-WVhat's the trouble?
Leading Man-W-hy, the Beef Trust has taken our bull away from us.
O o L
t 1
He-Does you' laik raw oysters?
She---Nolp. De shells hurts mah froat.
An Unusual Button.
"This collar button is my own inven
tion." said the street fakir, "and the
name I have given it is 'Fault.' "
.'Because everybody has faults?"
suggestetd the red-nosed man in the
'No. my dear il,. simply because it's
so easy to findt."
Preferred the Reality.
"l.et's go and sce the mitni(, battle
hetweecn the t rct and the land forces.
They are about rt:aly to beg;in."
"You ' can go ni atr'h it if you
want to. Tltcre's to be a cockfight
down here inl a bnan not far away,
and I'd rather -ee that. It's more ex-.
Knows What's Coming.
"I see that all the explorers have
returned fromn the Far North," ob
served the mtian witil the incandescent
"Yes,'" said the man with the pickle
ilose. "I h!ave can:':el',d mxy suibscrip
tions to the i gna::i ites."
More Tractable.
Great Employe r--I always employ
married men if possible.
His Friend-Good idea. Helps to
conserve that sacred institution, the
Great Enrp!oyer-I hadn't given that
a thought. hbt I suppose it is so. I
employ- marrl d men because they are
Iote ' tractable.
Her Vccal Charm.
"Younlg lRulddl.'ston is going to
marry Miss W\i;,lles, is he? She's a
goo(d, amn!a!ile girl, but not at all at
tract ive.'"
• "Il know it. lie fail in love with her
"1ier voice?"
"Yes; she 1tss it so oldoml."
Plenty of Rope.
"Yes. ildeed." said the steersman to
the admiriig ytol;:a ladies who formed
the carg, of the yacht; "'yes, indeted,
this vessel make ; sixteen knots an
".lec '-y!" Oltirtmenteld Ionle inloc'ent
youn thine: "at that rate you must
u:1e ;a lot of rI'tpe' dltirinC a yoearl."
Fierce Indeed.
"Now, li n. c'ithlr.n'.' said the
bachelor. who ' ii .d hrc'n comimlenlting
ullol Iu)Olar exle, :litious,' "who can tell
men what tilhe' animals inhabit the
regions of the Norttn Pole?"
"Polecats." shloutled the' boy at the
foot of the class.
iIi i
Dihr. .Jonevs--I wish I had thi. new colt ) tUhCh.
\IIrs. Jons-Ill lend you the vtol: after Ii anje-. 5. c.an h leak anySthing,
1P1o?)t'ietor--1it s Nvf mVrale up l) 1 iU~ butt tI(u' (31 r hair (lI(ssif
andi you rant suit it. w hat tht1n?
I'rtltknttttt---'ITltelt Wt'e Will print "c"in front of hIatii l l:3ltt ls anti have
chairi drsessi'g Soo?
Before the Axe Fell.
Charlotte ('ordlay was being tried'
ior the murder of Marat.
"But." proteStestd her counsel, "you
e)xaggerate the affair. lie merely got
a dirkish hat Ih.
Despite this masterly defense, the
guillotine once more did its deadly
Relief Under Any Circumstances.
Mrs. 'rouser-And after the way y6oB
have treated me I suppose. when you
die you expect to go to heaven.
Mr. Touser---I don't know, my dear,
where I shall bring up, but I have no
doubt it will seem like heaven to me
-by way of contrast, you know.
In a Boston Library.
Barnes- I su.t'pePct that Pin grey 1i
quite a litilratv man. I know he
spends thie gratetr parLt of his tillme in
tihe ptbli, library.
l(owe, - Y'( : to t e)l. mte it is so
Glluist thlip I( , i 111 . *t a 11 )) almost
any tite Wititt le-i . ait, tlxed.
Rubbing It In.
He-If you wefuse me I shall put a
bullet thwough my bwain.
She-The idea! How could you?
He---I suppose you think l'm talk
ing like a cwazy man?
She-Oh, no, like a sharpshooter.
The Green Corporal.
"Why didn't you sack the town as
I ordered?" demanded the irate gen
"Bekase we didn't hov iny bags,
sor," responded the green corporal.
A Rustic Conclusion.
"Welll, well." remarked Farmer
Klorntoi) at the zoo, "this hore lions
'pears to be real gond1-atllred."
"'Mebbe," suggested his good wife,
"it's one of themn social lions ye read
about in the papers."
Ne Plus Ultra.
"How dare you try to kiss me?" she
cried indignantly. "Don't you know
any better?"
"If I did I'd try to kiss her," replied
he, "but really you are the best ever."
Good Fishing.
"I cc, thloy are I iying to fish a lot
of coal out of the M1errimac river
where a coal barge was sunk ten years
"By gum! Ihat.'s the kind o' place
mining ihat Rays Iwadays."
Youngbloodl--"My rich uncle prom
ised to do the right thing by me in his
Criticns-"That's too had. He
really ought to leave you something.'

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