Newspaper Page Text
HIN : f I'`:"t tlI . holiday season and especially a . : .
:.: as lay. is Ire-eminently an occasion for "i.'ting do()In the bars" with reference to the q k I.r> .,! of the e(listed force of the ('. S.navy. r:,' rin rly pIretty rigid discipline is enlforced on ti;,' %qtr:tliJs of oulr lnavy--as is necessary where so l.n!, ,,n are er ,wded together in close quarters but at th jy olus yuie-tid 1 season the ofticers are wont tc allow the bl:(j;lk,.t pretty free rein for their frolics. This latitude is a1o,. I ot tmerely because (hristias week is uni versally r,.,:~.' d as anl occ('asion for mirth a In merriment. Fully as I itn is the fact that a general good time at Christ- r mas keeps .1(1 from getting homesick for the sort of family tAnother t-t, ine1 of policy In days more worth while is that outlined in the recent ':>order of the secretary of the X "' - .'.. . a(loard our warships shall be reduced days. Even ship inspection and In. Twith on such occasions-or rather is reunion that most other people are enjoying during the closing week of l)ecember. Of course, any one of Ine Sam's tars ay.enjoy an ol.fashioned Christmas at hoe if the ship tothat work which e is attahed happens to be in a hipsort where his parents s bound to be away from home on Christmas and he lays plans accordingly. Many of the features o the average Christmas program nare dispensed the navy indicate above all else that excess of animal spirits that might be expected from a whole community of red-blooded and militantly healthy young men who have betn ('ooped up for some tme reiously. Tis accounts for the roioccasions-or rather ence WROT/irs ClSclAr Ci L p TTE"R TO o n t E OLK Att etOn given to sports slid athletic contests in the yule-tide 1)rogram. on this day of days. There are other red-letter events on tile twenty-ith of il ece mber, not forgetting toie traditional tahrist mas spread and tis attac lmost ipp evitao ble minstrel shis parents which rounds out the (lay. It is in connection with these, by the way, - that tfore men-o-war'f the bs- imen lay many of the pranks the rivi an lege of practiciing which they claim as their inalienable right /.:....... Ys bour keen-d to bitted naval sailor dearly loves and joke laon plany occasion and all throes ogh the year tage bluejackets display tat propensity for playing plranks that t mioht e exl)ected of a Ibody of husk lads who combine with strenuosity that irreslonsi ,/ , A,/LET/C . bility which coes with the coimforting assurance b/ H THcood AVY of an unfailing supply of substantial food and arm clothing. At Christmas this spirit reache Christmas in New York harbor. This means plen- it ordered that such functions shall take place on they play sporanks on their officers, who cannot t of entertainment for the lluejackets when they oe other day and that the men be given prac resent such attentions at this time, and they are have shore leave," and t likewise gives many of ticaly a las.ree day" for their own amusemenred-lttnts o the pretty apt to play pranks on every body in sight, the tars opportunity to entertain fair friends Bluejackets who do not attend as participants or They start In before daylighnot on Chrita orn- aboard atid proudly show them over the floating onlookers the Christmas athletic program may Tushen matn bote dys on ortress often be found on the holiday reading in some un thating, when many of the r sboys swing f ritres thee of rselve out o they clai as theirr hamcorner of the ship, wrinalieable right .. .. ting to loved ones at home, play unusually early in order to 'dress" the ship with holiday greens ere the sun is up. Usually the gibes for the offi cers are reserved for the minstrel show in the evening, but there have been occasions in the history of the navy when the bluejackets played decidedly practical jokes on their superiors in connection with the Christmas dinner. For in stance, at Shanghai, China, a few years ago, a delegation of the en listed men got ashore almost as soon as the ship dropped anchor in port, and having forestalled the wearers of gold braid they proceed ed to "corner" the limited market of turkeys. Thus they had plenti ful slices of the light and dark meat at their spread, while the ward-room mess had to put up with a not altogether satisfactory sub stitute. The high prices paid for fowl on this occasion constitute but one of many illustrations that might be cited to prove how lavish are the bluejackets in their expen ditures when it comes to providing ammunition for the proper observ ance of Christmas. The mischievous nature of these boys grown tall crops out in the character of many of the contests that take place on Christmas after noon. There are boxing, wrestling and fencing contests that are in deadly earnest, but there are also such merriment makers as egg races, potato races, three-legged races, sack races, etc., and finally there are ludicrous pie-eating con tests and similar stunts. A time honored Christmas prank aboard Yankee fighting ships is that wherein a proc.sslon of fantastic ally garbed sailors visits the cap tain's quarters, carrying a bucket of whitewash. and petitions the commanding tri 'or to literally or figuratively \X ip, out all scores or demerits stalndiin lg ; inst members of the crew lor minor infractions of the rules. If the master of the craft is not utterlN lacking in that tact and discernment which makes for popularity in the navy, he hast ens to take ce niz:ance (* the spir it of the day by granting this re Quest for universal clemency. The opportunities for enjoyment Open to our American bluejackets at Christmas have been materially enhanced by the present policy of having the warships, whenever Possible spend the holidays in some populous port. For instance, the plan, at this writing, is to have the big battleship fleet spend " A CHRISTMAS ARGUMENT One morning in the snow the Holly and the Misle toe Met, and straightway Into argument they tells ; And the Holly in his pride his very hardest tried To show he was by far the greatest swell. "Oh, it's folly, folly, folly!" cried the Mlsletoe to Holly, "To give yourself the silly airs you do; For you'll very soon find out that the world, with out a doubt, Could get along quite nicely without you." C "Ah, I know, I know, I know!" said Holly to the Mistetoe, a "You're ans envious as ever you can be; ' And you're cross and angry very, 'cause you - haven't got a berry Red, and round, and bright and beautiful, like Ine." Answered Misletoe then, laughing: "Why, of course you're only chaffing. S I've a berrry too, as pure and white as snow. Every Christmas time they find me, and they take me in and bind me Just above the door, as very well you know." "WRhat a silly tale you're telling!" scoffed the Hol ly, proudly swelling, "For one of you they'll use a dozen of me. You're an interloping person; and you only grow, what's worse, on The branches of some other kind of tree. "Now, to children, I'm the symbol of the nights " when 'Hunt-the-Thimble,' 'Blind-Mnn's Rutf,' and such games keep them out of beds And the plum-pudding at dinner, you will and, or I'm a sioner, Always has a sprig of holly in his head." Then the Misletne said, winking: "There's Just one small point, I'm thinking, That you have altogether failed to see: If at (Christmana time I'm missing, why there can't be any kissing! So the palm, you must admit, belongs to me." Now the moral of this story is, If you're inclined to glory In your own importance, you are sure to find That in others' estimation you've a less important station, SAnd In argument you may get left behind. - - J ting to loved ones at home, play- t ing cards, or mayhap exchanging Christmas geetings with friends on other ships of the fleet by means of the picturesque wig-wag system I of flag signaling. The Business Instinct, A small Detroit boy was given a drum for a Christmas present, and was beating it vociferously on the sidewalk, when a nervous neighbor appeared and asked: "How much did your father pay for that drum, my little man?" "Twenty-five cents, sir," was the reply. "Will you take a dollar for it?" "Oh, yer, sir," said the boy eag erly. "Ma said she hoped I'd sell it for ten cents." The exchange was made, and the drum put where it wouldn't make any more noise, and the nervous man chuckled over his stratagem, But to his horror, when he got home that night, there were four drums beating in front of his house, and as he made his appear ance, the leader stepped up and said, cheerfully: "These are my cousins, sir. I took that dollar and bought four new drums. Do you want to give us $4 for them?" The nervous neighbor rushed in to the house in despair, and the drum corps is doubtless beating yet in front of his house. Doctors Versus Lawyers. Most lawyers take a keen delight trying to confuse medical experts in the witness box in murder trials, and often they get paid back in their own coin. A case is recalled where the lawyer, after exercising all the tangling tactics without ef fect, looked quizzically at the doc tor who was testifying and said: "You will admit that doctors sometimes make mistakes, won't you?" "Oh, yes; the same as lawyers," was the cool reply. "And doctors' mistakes are buried six feet under ground," was the lawyer's triumphant reply. "Yes," he replied, "and the law yers' mistakes often swing in the air."-Philadelphia Public Ledger, A Time to Give. Every boy and girl should make something to give to another at Christmas time; there is scarcely anyone who is not able to do some thing to make another person hap. py at this season of the year. BACKACHE IS KIDNEYACHE. Usually There Are Other Troubles to Prove It. Pain in the back is pain In the kid nleys, in most cases, and it points to the need of a spe cial remedy to re Imove and cure th!L congestion or iIn ilammiation of the kidneys that is in terfering with their work an1d causing that pain t h a t Makes you say: "Oh, my back." Thompson Wat kins, professional nurse, 40I. N. 22rd St., Parsons, Kan., says: "For some time I was annoyed with sharp twinges across the small of my back and ir regular passages of the kidney secre tions. Since using I)oan's Kidney Iills, I am free from those troubles." niemember the name--l)Dan'S. Sold by all dealers. 5u cents a box. Foster Mlilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. ODD MISTAKE. Short-Sighted Old Gentleman-H-ow your little boy has grown! But you shouldn't let him go out without a hat. There All the Time. It is told of Dr. Thorold that he was once asked to give away the prizes at a school belonging to the London school board. In the course of his opening addlress he gravely asked the childron, "Which was the largest island in the world be tor Australia was discovered'?" When the youngsters gave it up, he said in the same grave way, which made them laugh all the more, "Why, Australia, of course; it was there all the time!" Good for the Nerves. At a recent archery tournament in Lond(on /3-0 women took part in the contest, the game having ,become very Ipopular. It is recommni nded by Lon don pihysicians as spllendid for the nerves. American women have never taken very kindly to the sport, but the renewal of interest abroad may effect a change in this country. For Headache Try Hicks' Capudine. Whether from Colds, fleat, Stmnceh or N,r\ois iroubhii s, the a'hts ar- , p :IdlY relieve'd l y O 'apuline. It's iiiuit--plas ant to take--lffe, is immediately. 10, 25 and 500 at Drug Stores. The main igredients of true manli ness are a forgetfulness of self and a constant regard for duty.-Butler. "I'm tired of that not-much-of-any thing flavor." "I'm fond of that dell cious Wrigley's Spearmint flavor." No, Alonzo, we wouldn't advise a man with an impediment in his speech to go to a speakeasy for treatment. HAVE YOU A ('OUGIH, OR COLD? If so take at nct Alln's Iung Baltsn and watbch results. Simpl., safe', .ffc'tiv,. Alldealers. Pupu lar prices--25e, 50c and $1.00 bottles, It takes a woman to tell a secret and magnify its importance. _ _i CASTORIA _ For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have - Always Bought ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT f A\egetable Preparation forAs similating the Food andRe ula- Bear the ting the Stomachs'and Bowels of t Signature Promotes Digestion,Cheerful ness and Rest Contains neither Of Opium.Morphine nor Mineral NOT NARC OTIC SRrp. /Old drSAwiELffrIR j /il.r Sl7 ed. iCnrr.rased. In Worm Seed - j" `/'narde Sage Aperfect Remedy for Constipa Use Yf tion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea, SWorms,ConvulsionsFeverish ness and Loss OF SLEEP. ::1 FacSimile Signature of THE CENTAUR COMPANY, Thirty Years NEW YORK. Guaranteed under the Food C AdT R1act COp of Wipp Tw* **wrave ous..- aV.. .,o oRE. TH OIl THAT plETRATES Wanted At Once-A Man TO Make $100 Per Month Above Expenses 1000 MEN A F I . " "i i ~'Y r"lI .i ,a i t ri a, ts 1 as ý" pe p ,roeso I ti ..t Ar t I 11 tr a I I ,- a.,5. t.ne, }' .' hs et Or ,e"a e f t',e ,nrg..t t:,,1 r r ore aad mi fla t !rer in t \ Al ` t r to ' l1 n ,1 S a Is son M . t a t k r " a. I .:s a,. WE NOW WANT , ,, . , -::,.,. ,La 4. th:e a'., in ta ra t a f h at ..,t alr( "· a:Es 5 }tl. ir , t , : ,r s . ' ,- , . a tr t N AHt o, ri r anl l .t, t t: ,s t. 1, - r, ,, "e a:! - I ,t ca - traý't w tth t, *'.e .a t. .. . trtar . .., t, r i . . ( o o ,. ,r, \\ 1 1 ", . t t., . € . t r? t w , n ! a' I-"!rt fa:r',I a,, -N:ful Itus "L~ wk , be s*austi to 5ak. a. si thao $100 Per Month Clear Profit airvev etp ,,"," tl first y r, I : t"e, sect.1 year, sad $2lm the tl:rd .1 a If y sn :e t r'v w,,l! nri ,;nsint- ;n Vot:r I ca~ l ty lad ynu tl. , k y : i i:, . . . r , r. ttl n Sf t f.8 1 a n t : a. 1 1 t. I re all v..,a ntt.,rr,:1 1 y : . t , ' n, t. !i rn ',f' ' it i en u er r 21, r .o r " , ror r f a,. . l .'^ e o r n To et t ttn is a na ", i, I tt . f,. 1" , i r 1 or 92 ltrt .a 4 ..-u t . t ., a t t o w n a ref.oren- . i n t t I q ". - 1.,- , . r .t, "/ wrt i. rI o a' art ;, "t t . :t 7 ,, n• t . ran we a. . r f~to. Ito It oa t. to ,sht rtLl.e and W.T. RAWLEIGH CO. 34 Llberty St. Freeport, HI. "Knowledge is Power" "I. C. S." Language System including full course Pamphlets, twenty-five (;I i Mrt Iuldld Records. Edison (;em IL'h n:ltraplh--all for $35.00o. express prepaid Agents Wante I Houston Phonograph Co. )is. ributors Houston. - Texas The difference remember this it may save your life. Cathartics, bird shot and cannon ball pills--tea spoon doses of cathartic medicines all depend on irritation of the bowels until they sweatenough to move. Cas. carets strengthen the bowel muscles so they creep and crawl naturally. This means a cure and only through Cascarets can you get it quickly and naturally. 81 Cascarets-10c box-week's treat ment. All druggists. Figgest seller in the wurld-million boxes a mounth. -B ROWN' S BRONCHIAL TROCHES An absolutely harm-less remedy for Sore Throat, Hoarseness and Coughs. Give immediate relief ti Bronclial and Lung Affections. Fifty years' reputation. Price, 25 cents, 50 cents and $1.00 pet box. Sample sent on request. JOHN I. BROWN & SON, .Bos*n, Mass. C. O. D. $3.50 to $50 W W hol,.,sale to the Farmer. A. H. HESS & CO. Write tor atitlorgus. HOUSTON. * TEXAS. McCANE'S DETECTIVE AGENCY Houston, Texas., operates the larsest force o competent detectives in the South, they render written opinions in cases not handled by them. Reasonable rates. AEIIUTS WANTED to sell Saniltary Nest Eggs. ,,U Every farmer buys. Just the thing gyou are, lotking for. ,s llample and particulars 10 cts. Itefunded it ag:teny Is accepted. Apply at ornce1 Sanitary Nest Egg ('o., Sprlngdale, Ar-k. n,2.o.. uZ Thompson's, Eye Water W. N. U., HOUSTON, NO. 50-1909.