HIN : f I'`:"t tlI . holiday season and especially a . : .
:.: as lay. is Ire-eminently an occasion
for "i.'ting do()In the bars" with reference to the q k
I.r> .,! of the e(listed force of the ('. S.navy.
r:,' rin rly pIretty rigid discipline is enlforced on
ti;,' %qtr:tliJs of oulr lnavy--as is necessary where so
l.n!, ,,n are er ,wded together in close quarters
but at th jy olus yuie-tid 1 season the ofticers are wont tc
allow the bl:(j;lk,.t pretty free rein for their frolics. This
latitude is a1o,. I ot tmerely because (hristias week is uni
versally r,.,:~.' d as anl occ('asion for mirth a In merriment.
Fully as I itn is the fact that a general good time at Christ- r
mas keeps .1(1 from getting homesick for the sort of family
tAnother t-t, ine1 of policy In
days more worth while is
that outlined in the recent
':>order of the secretary of the
X "' - .'.. .
a(loard our warships shall be reduced
days. Even ship inspection and In.
Twith on such occasions-or rather is
reunion that most other people are enjoying during the closing
week of l)ecember. Of course, any one of Ine Sam's tars
ay.enjoy an ol.fashioned Christmas at hoe if the ship tothat work
which e is attahed happens to be in a hipsort where his parents
s bound to be away from home on Christmas and he lays plans
Many of the features o the average Christmas program nare dispensed
the navy indicate above all else that excess of animal spirits
that might be expected from a whole community of red-blooded
and militantly healthy young men who have betn ('ooped up
for some tme reiously. Tis accounts for the roioccasions-or rather ence
WROT/irs ClSclAr Ci L p TTE"R TO o n t E OLK Att etOn
given to sports slid athletic contests in the yule-tide 1)rogram.
on this day of days. There are other red-letter events on tile
twenty-ith of il ece mber, not forgetting toie traditional tahrist
mas spread and tis attac lmost ipp evitao ble minstrel shis parents which
rounds out the (lay. It is in connection with these, by the way, -
that tfore men-o-war'f the bs- imen lay many of the pranks the rivi an
lege of practiciing which they claim as their inalienable right /.:.......
Ys bour keen-d to bitted naval sailor dearly loves and joke laon plany
occasion and all throes ogh the year tage bluejackets display tat
propensity for playing plranks that t mioht e exl)ected of a Ibody
of husk lads who combine with strenuosity that irreslonsi ,/ , A,/LET/C .
bility which coes with the coimforting assurance b/ H THcood AVY
of an unfailing supply of substantial food and
arm clothing. At Christmas this spirit reache Christmas in New York harbor. This means plen- it ordered that such functions shall take place on
they play sporanks on their officers, who cannot t of entertainment for the lluejackets when they oe other day and that the men be given prac
resent such attentions at this time, and they are have shore leave," and t likewise gives many of ticaly a las.ree day" for their own amusemenred-lttnts o the
pretty apt to play pranks on every body in sight, the tars opportunity to entertain fair friends Bluejackets who do not attend as participants or
They start In before daylighnot on Chrita orn- aboard atid proudly show them over the floating onlookers the Christmas athletic program may
Tushen matn bote dys on ortress often be found on the holiday reading in some un
thating, when many of the r sboys swing f ritres
thee of rselve out o they clai as theirr hamcorner of the ship, wrinalieable right
.. .. ting to loved ones at home, play
unusually early in order to 'dress"
the ship with holiday greens ere
the sun is up.
Usually the gibes for the offi
cers are reserved for the minstrel
show in the evening, but there
have been occasions in the history
of the navy when the bluejackets
played decidedly practical jokes on
their superiors in connection with
the Christmas dinner. For in
stance, at Shanghai, China, a few
years ago, a delegation of the en
listed men got ashore almost as
soon as the ship dropped anchor in
port, and having forestalled the
wearers of gold braid they proceed
ed to "corner" the limited market
of turkeys. Thus they had plenti
ful slices of the light and dark
meat at their spread, while the
ward-room mess had to put up with
a not altogether satisfactory sub
stitute. The high prices paid for
fowl on this occasion constitute
but one of many illustrations that
might be cited to prove how lavish
are the bluejackets in their expen
ditures when it comes to providing
ammunition for the proper observ
ance of Christmas.
The mischievous nature of these
boys grown tall crops out in the
character of many of the contests
that take place on Christmas after
noon. There are boxing, wrestling
and fencing contests that are in
deadly earnest, but there are also
such merriment makers as egg
races, potato races, three-legged
races, sack races, etc., and finally
there are ludicrous pie-eating con
tests and similar stunts. A time
honored Christmas prank aboard
Yankee fighting ships is that
wherein a proc.sslon of fantastic
ally garbed sailors visits the cap
tain's quarters, carrying a bucket
of whitewash. and petitions the
commanding tri 'or to literally or
figuratively \X ip, out all scores or
demerits stalndiin lg ; inst members
of the crew lor minor infractions
of the rules. If the master of the
craft is not utterlN lacking in that
tact and discernment which makes
for popularity in the navy, he hast
ens to take ce niz:ance (* the spir
it of the day by granting this re
Quest for universal clemency.
The opportunities for enjoyment
Open to our American bluejackets
at Christmas have been materially
enhanced by the present policy of
having the warships, whenever
Possible spend the holidays in
some populous port. For instance,
the plan, at this writing, is to have
the big battleship fleet spend
A CHRISTMAS ARGUMENT
One morning in the snow the Holly and the Misle
Met, and straightway Into argument they tells ;
And the Holly in his pride his very hardest tried
To show he was by far the greatest swell.
"Oh, it's folly, folly, folly!" cried the Mlsletoe to
"To give yourself the silly airs you do;
For you'll very soon find out that the world, with
out a doubt,
Could get along quite nicely without you." C
"Ah, I know, I know, I know!" said Holly to the
a "You're ans envious as ever you can be;
' And you're cross and angry very, 'cause you
- haven't got a berry
Red, and round, and bright and beautiful, like
Answered Misletoe then, laughing: "Why, of
course you're only chaffing.
S I've a berrry too, as pure and white as snow.
Every Christmas time they find me, and they take
me in and bind me
Just above the door, as very well you know."
"WRhat a silly tale you're telling!" scoffed the Hol
ly, proudly swelling,
"For one of you they'll use a dozen of me.
You're an interloping person; and you only grow,
what's worse, on
The branches of some other kind of tree.
"Now, to children, I'm the symbol of the nights "
'Blind-Mnn's Rutf,' and such games keep them
out of beds
And the plum-pudding at dinner, you will and,
or I'm a sioner,
Always has a sprig of holly in his head."
Then the Misletne said, winking: "There's Just one
small point, I'm thinking,
That you have altogether failed to see:
If at (Christmana time I'm missing, why there can't
be any kissing!
So the palm, you must admit, belongs to me."
Now the moral of this story is, If you're inclined
In your own importance, you are sure to find
That in others' estimation you've a less important
SAnd In argument you may get left behind.
- - J
ting to loved ones at home, play- t
ing cards, or mayhap exchanging
Christmas geetings with friends on
other ships of the fleet by means
of the picturesque wig-wag system I
of flag signaling.
The Business Instinct,
A small Detroit boy was given a
drum for a Christmas present, and
was beating it vociferously on the
sidewalk, when a nervous neighbor
appeared and asked: "How much
did your father pay for that drum,
my little man?"
"Twenty-five cents, sir," was the
"Will you take a dollar for it?"
"Oh, yer, sir," said the boy eag
erly. "Ma said she hoped I'd sell
it for ten cents."
The exchange was made, and the
drum put where it wouldn't make
any more noise, and the nervous
man chuckled over his stratagem,
But to his horror, when he got
home that night, there were four
drums beating in front of his
house, and as he made his appear
ance, the leader stepped up and
said, cheerfully: "These are my
cousins, sir. I took that dollar and
bought four new drums. Do you
want to give us $4 for them?"
The nervous neighbor rushed in
to the house in despair, and the
drum corps is doubtless beating
yet in front of his house.
Doctors Versus Lawyers.
Most lawyers take a keen delight
trying to confuse medical experts
in the witness box in murder trials,
and often they get paid back in
their own coin. A case is recalled
where the lawyer, after exercising
all the tangling tactics without ef
fect, looked quizzically at the doc
tor who was testifying and said:
"You will admit that doctors
sometimes make mistakes, won't
"Oh, yes; the same as lawyers,"
was the cool reply.
"And doctors' mistakes are
buried six feet under ground," was
the lawyer's triumphant reply.
"Yes," he replied, "and the law
yers' mistakes often swing in the
air."-Philadelphia Public Ledger,
A Time to Give.
Every boy and girl should make
something to give to another at
Christmas time; there is scarcely
anyone who is not able to do some
thing to make another person hap.
py at this season of the year.
BACKACHE IS KIDNEYACHE.
Usually There Are Other Troubles to
Pain in the back is pain In the kid
nleys, in most cases, and it points to
the need of a spe
cial remedy to re
Imove and cure th!L
congestion or iIn
ilammiation of the
kidneys that is in
terfering with their
work an1d causing
that pain t h a t
Makes you say:
"Oh, my back."
nurse, 40I. N. 22rd
St., Parsons, Kan.,
says: "For some
time I was annoyed with sharp twinges
across the small of my back and ir
regular passages of the kidney secre
tions. Since using I)oan's Kidney Iills,
I am free from those troubles."
niemember the name--l)Dan'S. Sold
by all dealers. 5u cents a box. Foster
Mlilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Short-Sighted Old Gentleman-H-ow
your little boy has grown! But you
shouldn't let him go out without a hat.
There All the Time.
It is told of Dr. Thorold that he was
once asked to give away the prizes at
a school belonging to the London
In the course of his opening addlress
he gravely asked the childron, "Which
was the largest island in the world be
tor Australia was discovered'?"
When the youngsters gave it up, he
said in the same grave way, which
made them laugh all the more, "Why,
Australia, of course; it was there all
Good for the Nerves.
At a recent archery tournament in
Lond(on /3-0 women took part in the
contest, the game having ,become very
Ipopular. It is recommni nded by Lon
don pihysicians as spllendid for the
nerves. American women have never
taken very kindly to the sport, but the
renewal of interest abroad may effect
a change in this country.
For Headache Try Hicks' Capudine.
Whether from Colds, fleat, Stmnceh or
N,r\ois iroubhii s, the a'hts ar- , p :IdlY
relieve'd l y O 'apuline. It's iiiuit--plas
ant to take--lffe, is immediately. 10, 25
and 500 at Drug Stores.
The main igredients of true manli
ness are a forgetfulness of self and a
constant regard for duty.-Butler.
"I'm tired of that not-much-of-any
thing flavor." "I'm fond of that dell
cious Wrigley's Spearmint flavor."
No, Alonzo, we wouldn't advise a
man with an impediment in his speech
to go to a speakeasy for treatment.
HAVE YOU A ('OUGIH, OR COLD?
If so take at nct Alln's Iung Baltsn and watbch
results. Simpl., safe', .ffc'tiv,. Alldealers. Pupu
lar prices--25e, 50c and $1.00 bottles,
It takes a woman to tell a secret
and magnify its importance.
_ _i CASTORIA
_ For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
- Always Bought
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT
f A\egetable Preparation forAs
similating the Food andRe ula- Bear the
ting the Stomachs'and Bowels of t
ness and Rest Contains neither Of
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral
NOT NARC OTIC
SRrp. /Old drSAwiELffrIR
j /il.r Sl7 ed.
Worm Seed -
j" `/'narde Sage
Aperfect Remedy for Constipa Use
Yf tion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea,
ness and Loss OF SLEEP.
::1 FacSimile Signature of
THE CENTAUR COMPANY, Thirty Years
Guaranteed under the Food C AdT
R1act COp of Wipp Tw* **wrave ous..- aV.. .,o oRE.
TH OIl THAT plETRATES
Wanted At Once-A Man
TO Make $100 Per Month Above Expenses
1000 MEN A F I . " "i i ~'Y r"lI
.i ,a i t ri a, ts 1 as ý" pe
p ,roeso I ti ..t Ar t I 11 tr a I I ,- a.,5. t.ne,
}' .' hs et Or ,e"a e f t',e ,nrg..t t:,,1 r r ore aad
mi fla t !rer in t \ Al ` t r to ' l1 n ,1 S a Is
son M . t a t k r " a. I .:s a,.
WE NOW WANT , ,, . , -::,.,. ,La
4. th:e a'., in ta ra t a f h at ..,t alr( "· a:Es
5 }tl. ir , t , : ,r s . ' ,- , . a tr t N AHt
o, ri r anl l .t, t t: ,s t. 1, - r, ,, "e a:! - I ,t ca -
traý't w tth t, *'.e .a t. .. . trtar . .., t, r i . . ( o o
,. ,r, \\ 1 1 ", . t t., . € . t r? t w , n ! a' I-"!rt fa:r',I
a,, -N:ful Itus "L~ wk , be s*austi
to 5ak. a. si thao
$100 Per Month Clear Profit
airvev etp ,,"," tl first y r, I : t"e, sect.1 year, sad
$2lm the tl:rd .1 a
If y sn :e t r'v w,,l! nri ,;nsint- ;n Vot:r I ca~ l ty lad
ynu tl. , k y : i i:, . . . r , r. ttl n
Sf t f.8 1 a n t : a. 1 1 t. I re all
v..,a ntt.,rr,:1 1 y : . t , ' n, t. !i rn ',f' ' it i en u er r
21, r .o r " , ror r f a,. . l .'^ e o r n To
et t ttn is a na ", i, I tt . f,. 1" , i r 1 or 92
ltrt .a 4 ..-u t . t ., a t t o w n a
ref.oren- . i n t t I q ". - 1.,- , . r .t, "/
wrt i. rI o a' art ;, "t t . :t 7 ,, n• t . ran we
a. . r f~to. Ito It oa t. to ,sht rtLl.e and
W.T. RAWLEIGH CO. 34 Llberty St. Freeport, HI.
"Knowledge is Power"
"I. C. S." Language System
including full course Pamphlets,
twenty-five (;I i Mrt Iuldld Records.
Edison (;em IL'h n:ltraplh--all for
$35.00o. express prepaid
Agents Wante I
Houston Phonograph Co.
Houston. - Texas
it may save your life. Cathartics,
bird shot and cannon ball pills--tea
spoon doses of cathartic medicines
all depend on irritation of the bowels
until they sweatenough to move. Cas.
carets strengthen the bowel muscles
so they creep and crawl naturally.
This means a cure and only through
Cascarets can you get it quickly and
Cascarets-10c box-week's treat
ment. All druggists. Figgest seller
in the wurld-million boxes a mounth.
-B ROWN' S
An absolutely harm-less remedy for Sore Throat,
Hoarseness and Coughs. Give immediate relief ti
Bronclial and Lung Affections.
Fifty years' reputation.
Price, 25 cents, 50 cents and $1.00 pet box.
Sample sent on request.
JOHN I. BROWN & SON, .Bos*n, Mass.
C. O. D. $3.50 to $50
W W hol,.,sale
to the Farmer.
A. H. HESS & CO.
Write tor atitlorgus. HOUSTON. * TEXAS.
McCANE'S DETECTIVE AGENCY
Houston, Texas., operates the larsest force o
competent detectives in the South, they render
written opinions in cases not handled by them.
AEIIUTS WANTED to sell Saniltary Nest Eggs.
,,U Every farmer buys. Just the thing
gyou are, lotking for. ,s llample and particulars 10 cts.
Itefunded it ag:teny Is accepted. Apply at ornce1
Sanitary Nest Egg ('o., Sprlngdale, Ar-k.
n,2.o.. uZ Thompson's, Eye Water
W. N. U., HOUSTON, NO. 50-1909.
xml | txt