Newspaper Page Text
l eConeudy of
S . . Savste
Ss ordered to the
I dMarjorie Newton
e Ck of taxicab pre
te ter on the way to
ta train is tak
ortr has a lively
and Ira Lath
er man. The elopers
al .rce, boards train
tar Later Mrs. Jimmie
ýgd for Reno with
a - Sammy Whit
LY Mrs. Jimmie for
fill Clssmates of Mal
Rev, and Mrs.
OU eatio. They decide
ibt decides to let
alp but train starts
t farewell. Passen
srftes in giving
Marjorie is dis
n an old sweetheart,
of echer among
:en ellington hears
oni Later she meets
Sreports to Mar
f reatcer. They
YO " e and Mallory
bol. Jimmie discov
chte train. Mallory
hunt for a
pass as a physi
i induced by Mrs.
Im cigar. Sight of
In platform raises
[ compels the
Coolnss is then
E ed b behdavior
E Ea arro
A the train in
produce a preach
the conductor to
the cord. stop
ce. y wires for a
ring s predicament
Dr m train. After
to by leaping from
d etion moves
ag'Moruy the fear
rly: . ntlnued.
n bhand: "Would
lead me your
t. on. "You'll
ben IOZs there."
Arc the loan o
r if bdil the E'ng
e pilar from Ash.
t d- te end ot the
r the i touch with
alh idys of torag
is.- ~, enough for
he and Mar
e £ ' L they could
wh . And then
, y the way,
e OPn more
With a new a
da Orlhtk* i
d growtns t
Spon the o
- .h uman
_ r as n
d ourned ui
rorce-mill and Its grist, gmnun:
"That depehds on what you''re elas
ing behind. Most folks seem to get
enough of it in about six months."
Then he went his way, leaving Well
ington red, agape and perplexed. The
trouble with Wellington was that he
had brought along what he was lear
ing behind. Or, as Ashton impudently
observed: "You ought to enjoy your
residence there, Wellington, with your
wife on hand."
The only repartee that Wellington
could think of was a rather unin
spired: "You go to -"
"So long as it isn't Reno," Ashton
laughed, and walked away.
Wedgewood laid a sympathetic hand
on Little Jimmie's shoulder, and said:
"That Ashton Is no end of a bound
Wellington wrote his epitaph in
"Well, the worst I can say of him
is, he's the kind of man that doesn't
lift the plug out when he's through
with the basin."
He liked this so well that he wished
he had thought of it in time to crack
it over Ashton's head. He decided
to hand it to him anway. He forgot
that the cardinal rule for repartee, is
"Better. never than late."
As he swung out of the men's room
he was buttonholed by an individual
new to the little Trans-American col
ony. One of the camp-followers and
sutlers who prosper round the edges
of all great enterpises had waylaid
him on the way to the battleground
of marital freedom.
The stranger had got on at an
earlier stop and worked his way
through the train to the car named
"Snowdrop." Wellington was his first
victim here. His pushing manner,
the almost vulture-like rapacity of his
gleaming eyes, and the very vul
turine contour of his profile, his palmy
gestures, his thick lisp, and every
thing about him gave Wellington his
It ill behooves Christendom to need
reminding that the Jewish race has
adorned and still adorns humanity
with some of its noblest specimens;
but this interloper was of the type
that must have irritated Voltaire into
answering the platitude that the Jews
are God's chosen people with that
other platitude. "Tastes differ."
Little Jimmle Wellington, hot in
pursuit of Ashton, found himself
checked in spite of himself: in spite
of himself deposited somehow into a
seat, and in spite of himself confront
ed with a curvllnear person, who
"Excoose, pleass! but are you get
tink off at R-r-reno?"
"I am," Wellington answered, curt
ly, essaying to rise, only to be deli
cately restored to his place with a
gesture and a phrase:
"Tifen you neet me."
"Oh, I need you, do I? And who
"Who ain't I? I am Baumann and
Blumen. Our cart, please."
Wellington found a pasteboard in
his hand and read the legend:
Ral Eaae Agcna Bagg ' Tasde
Iamaun 0Uj DIMN
m 3Iesu sene, al-ss, hrns
Ntary Pubile Divorces Secured
JLdce dof the Peace Sadafacdoa Guaranteed
Wellington iooked from the crowded
card to the zealous face. "Divorce
Outfitters, eh? 1 don't quite get you:"
"Vell, in the foist place-"
" 'The foist place,' eh? You're from
"Yes, oritchiually. How did you
know it? By my feshionable cloth
"Yes," laughed Wellington. "But
you say I need you. How?"
"Vell, you've got maybe some beg
getch, some trunks-yes?"'
"Vell, in the foist place. I am an
expressman. I deliver 'em to your
address-yees? Vere iss it?"
"I haven't got any yet"
"Also I am addressman. Do you
vant it a nice hotel?--or a fine house?
-or an apartment?-or maybe a
boardlng-house t-yes? How long do
you make a'residence?"
"Not a minute."
"Take a fine house, dea. I got some
beauties Just wacated."
"For a year?--no thanks."
"All the leases in Reno run for six
"Well, l'd like to look around a lit
"'Good. Don't forbet us. You come
out here for six months. You rant
maybe a good quick divorce-yes?"
"The quickest 1 can get."
"Do you vant it confidential? or
very nice and noisy?"
"Ve are press agents and also sup
press agents. Some likes 'em one
way, some likes 'em anudder. Vica
do you rant it?"
"Quick and quiet"
"Painless dfvorce is our specialty.
If you pay me an advence deposit
now, I tile your claim de minute de
train stops and your own vile don't
know you're divorced."
"I'll think It over," said Wellington,
rising with resolution.
"Don't forget us. Baumann and
Blumen. Satisfaction guaranteed or
your wife refunded. Avoid substi
toots." And then, seeing that he could
not extract any cash from Little Jim
mie, Mr. Baumann descended upon
Mallory, who was just finishing hisl
shave. Laying his hand on Mallory's
arm, he began:
"Excoose, pleass. Can £ fit you out
.it a nice divorce?"
"Divorce? - mtel - that's good,"
laughed Mallory at the. visIaon or it.
'ti a udden idea struck him. 1
P took no great genius to see that Mr.
a Baumann was not a clergyman, but
there were other marriers to be had.
1- "You don't perform marriages, do
e you?" he asked.
a Mr. Baumann drew himself up:
"- "Who says I don't? Ain't I a justice
v of the praces?"
r Mallory put out his hand in wel
r come: then a new anxiety chilled
him. He had a license for Chicago,
a but Chicago was far away: "Do I
I- need a license in Nevada?"
"Why shouldn't you?" said Mr. Bau
i .mann. "Don't all sorts of things got
to have a license in Nevada, saloons.
I husbands, dogs--
"How could I get one'?" Mallory
- asked as he went on dressing.
"Ain't I got a few vit me? Do you
wvant to get a nice re-marriage li
S"Re-marriage?-huh!" he looked
t round, and, seeing that no one else
i was near: "I haven't taken the first
1 Mr. Baumann laved his hands in
one another: "A betchelor? Ah, I see
i you vant to marry a nice divorcee
t lady in R-rreno?"
a "She isn't in Reno and she has
never been married, either."
I This simple statement seemed to
I astound Mr. Baumann:
"A betcheller marry a maiden!-in
1 Reno!--o, of, oil! It hasn't been
done yet, but it might be."
Mallory looked him over and a
i twinge of distaste disturbed him:
"You furnish the license, but-er--ah
--is there any chance of a clergyman
-a Christian clergyman-being at the
"Vy do you vant it a cloigyman?
Can't I do it just as good? Or a nice
fat alderman I can get you?"
Mallory pondered: "I don't think
she'd like anything but a clergyman."
"Veil," Baumann confessed. "a lady
is liable to be particular about her
foist marriage. Anyvay I sell you de
Mr. Baumann whipped out a port
folio full of documents, and as he
searched them, philosophized: "A
man ought alvays to carry a good mar.
riage license. It might be he should
need it in a hurry." He took a large
iron seal from his side-pocket and
stamped the paper and then, with
fountain pen poised, pleaded: "Vat is
the names, pleass?"
"Not so loud!" Mallory whispered.
Baumann put his finger to his nose,
wisely: "I see, it is a confidential
marriage. Sit down once."
. When he had asked Mallory the
necessary questions and taken his fee,
he passed over the document by
which the sovereign state of Nevada
graciously permitted two souls to be
made more or less one in the eyes of
"Here you are," said Mr. Baumann.
"Vit dat you can get married anyvere
Mallory realized that Nevada would
be a thing of the past in a few hours
more and he asked:
"It's no good in California?"
"Himmel, no. In California you bot'
gotta go and be examined."
"Examined!" Mallory gasped, in
"Vit questions, polssonally," Mr.
Baumann hastened to explain.
"In Nevada," Baumann insinuated,
still hopeful, "I could mary you my.
self-now, right here."
"Could you marry us in this smok'
"In a cattle car, if you rant it"
"It's not a bad idea," said Mallory.
"I'll let you know."
Seeing Marjorie coming down the
aisle, he hastened to her, and hugged
her good-morning with a new coni
Dr. and Mrs. Temple, who had re
turned to their berth, witnessed this
greeting with amazement. After the
quarrel of the night before surely
some explanation should have been
overheard, but the puzzling Mallorys
flew to each other's arms without a
moment's delay. The mystery was ex-.
citing the passengers to such a point
that they were vowing to ask a few
questions point blank. Nobody had
quite dared to approach either of
them, but frank curiosity was prefer
able to nervous prostration, and the
secret could not be kept much longer.
Fellow-passengers have some rights.
Not even a stranger can be permitted
to outrage their curiosity with Im.
(TO BE: CONTINUED.)
Successful Woman Farmer.
Miss Grace M. Putnam is said to be
one of the most successful farmers in
New Jersey. She was born and
brought up in the city, never even
visting the country until after she
was 15 years old. Her farm consists
of about five acres and is planted ex
clusively in cantaloupes. She reports
that she rented her farm for the first
year. The second year she bought it,
the third year she paid up every debt
she owed and put $3,000 in bank. She
does all the work herself after the
first plowing, for which she pays a
farmer.1Sl. Her seeds cost her $1 an
acre, fertilizer $10 an acre and barrels
for shipping one year's crop $60. She
sells her melons direct to dealers at
$6 a barrel. She thinks her success
as a farmer is largely due to the fact
that she loves the work better than
anything else in the, world.
By Natural Reasoning.
A keen student of human nature
must have written the following:
"Wihea you see a young man sailing
down a street shortly after midnight
with his collar erumpled, you can
rmake up your mind that there's a
young girl crawling upstairs not far
distant, with her shoes under her arm
and an dattlnguished lamp i her
NEWS OFALL )
Send Fruit by Mail.
New Orleans.-"Eliminate the ex
press companies from service and use
the parcel post for smaller packages,"
was the advice given by R. W. Gees
of Kansas City, chairman of the com
mittee on express rates and service,
to members of the Western Fruit Job
bers' Association, in convention at
New Orleans. Mr. Gees said that
for seven years the association had
been fighting for improved express
service. In arraigning the express
companies Chairman Gees said numer
ous complaints had been filed by
members charging express agents
with acting as commission agents. He
recommended to the association that
the companies be driven out of exist
ence so that railroads owning their
stock might take over the business.
Mr. McKevitt of Sacramento, Cal.,
confirmed statements made in the
convention that the express compa
nies intended to meet parcel post
rates. He said it already had been
done in California, especially in the
handling of dried fruits.
To Enlarge Insane Hospital.
Alexandria.-At a meeting of the
board of administrators of the Pine
ville hospital for insane it was de
cided to erect two beautiful cottage
buildings on the dormitory plan to
care for 200 additional patients. The
cost of the two buildings will be about
$70,000 and work will be commenced
in the early spring. There were a
number of prominent architects to at
tend the meeting of the board, but A.
M. Drago of New Orleans was select
ed as the architect and he is to be as
sisted by Hebert Foltz, who is archi
tect for the Indiana lunacy commis
Dr. J. N. Thomas, superintendent of
the Pineville hospital for insane, re
cently visited the buildings at North
Madison, Ind., erected by Architect
The resignation of Secretary-Treas
urer Joseph H. Hinson was received
at the meeting of the board and C. i'.
Crockett of Alexandria was elected to
fill the vacancy.
New Orleans Demurrage.
New Orleans.-Some of the West
ern lines not having their own rails
into New Orleans have issued notice
to the local railroad contingent and
their special agents not to issue
through bills of lading via the port of
New Orleans until such time as they
are advised that the demurrage regu
lations at this point similar to those
in effect at Galveston are established.
According to freight officials of New
Orleans, this probably will have the
effect of coercing roads to conform
with the same rules and regulations
on the demurrage question as those
in effect at Galveston.
Recently the interstate commerce
commission issued an opinion that it
would be discrimination for the samie
demurrage rules not to be applied at
both New Orleans and Galveston, and
it is now believed that the same rules
governing shipments from both points
will go into effect at once or there
will be a temporary boycott.
Charge Two Men With Arson.
Alexandria.-John Price and Ray
Johnson, two young men employed as
car cleaners for the Iron Mountain
railroad, were arrested and jailed Fri
day on charges of arson. The arrest
was made by Frank W. Smith of New
Orleans, who is special deputy of the
state fire marshal. Eleven fires have
taken place in the past few weeks in
the yards of the Iron Mountain rail
way at Alexandria.
Turkey Gobbler Causes Law Suit.
Abbeville.-A turkey gobbler, won
at a game of freezeout poker, forms
the basis of a very warmly contested
suit between two prominent farmers
of the Sixth ward in Judge Labauve's
court. Four lawyers appeared in the
case, there were a number of wit
nesses and the costs will reach nearly
$100. The bird, which was relilevined
by one of the contestants since the in
stitution of the litigation, has died,
but the action survives and promises
to be quite long-lived.
Mooney Denies Testimony.
New Orleans.-C. J. P. Mooney of
Memphis, in attendance on the South
ern Newspaper Publishers' Associa
tion meeting at New Orleans, after
reading the Stump affidavit about
Standard Oil letters, said: "I never
saw Stump or any other man having
Standard Oil letters in company with
Mi. Chamberalain. I never saw any
Standard Oil letter books. I never
bought any original Standard Oil let
ter fronm Stump or anyone else." 1
Louisiana Railroad Hearing.
Baton Rouge.-The Louisiana rail.
road commission has decided to take
up the proposition to force all rail.
roads in Louisiana. to adopt block
signals at a special hearing in New
Orleans on January 30.
The commission heard the case of
the Shreveport Chamber of Commerce
vs. the Texas and Pacific regarding
rates on bagging, and the case was
submitted on the record.
The case of the Shreveport Cham
ber of Commerce vs. the St. Louis
Southwestern Railway Company, in
a the matter of rates on wooden handles
and spokes, less than carloads, from
s Bolinger to Shreveport, was taken un
The case of the railroad commission
against Morgan's Louisiana and Texas
t Railroad and Steamship Company for
alleged violation of the rules of the
commission was withdrawn, the de
fendant agreeing to remedy the sit
uation complained of.
The case of the railroad commis
sion against the Yazoo and Missis
sippi Valley Railroad Company, the
Louisiana Railway and Navigation
Company and the New Orleans, Texas
and Mexico Railroad Company, in the
matter of prompt movement and hand
ling of passenger trains into Baton
Rouge, was heard and taken under
Newsmen Elect Officers.
New Orleans.-Concluding a two
days' session the Southern Publishers'
Association and the Southwestern As
sociation of the Associated Press
elected officers Saturday and adjourn
ed. About thirty editors and their
wives sailed on the steamship Atenas
for a trip to Panama.
The Publishers' Association elected
A. F. Sanford of the Knoxville Journal
and Tribune president, F. W. Rhine
man of the Jacksonville Times-Union
vice president and William Clemens of
the Birmingham News secretary-treas
The Southwestern Association of
the Associated Press elected D. R.
Barbee, managing editor of the Mo
bile Register, president, and J. M.
Thompson, publisher of the New Or
leans Item, secretary. Harry T. War
ner of the Houston Post was elected
president of the Texas, Oklahoma and
Arkansas division, and D. P. Toomey,
managing editor of the Dallas News,
wa's elected secretary.
These organizations will meet at
Mobile, Ala., next year.
Fruit Jobbers Adjourn.
New Orleans.-After attacking dis
honest dealers, discussing the express
companies and others matters of im
portance, the Western Fruit Jobbers'
Association elected officers and ad
journed Friday to meet next year at
Kansas City. The delegates and their
wives were guests of local jobbers at
a banquet at the Atheneum, where
covers were laid for 1,000 persons.
The officers elected were: Samuel
E. Lux, Kansas City, president; E. H.
Emery, Ottumwa, Iowa, first vice pres
ident; C. B. Bills, Sacramento, second
vice president; T. A. Cargill, Houston,
third vice president; W. D. Tidwell,
Denver, secretary, and W. M. Roy
lance, Prove, Nev., tresarrer. E. J.
McNamara, Kansas City, was elected
sergeant at arms.
Two Fires at Lake Charles,
Lake Charles.-Fire in the Kaufman
block Thursday damaged Hollins'
Bros.' jewelry, establislment $5,000.
Its timely discovery and efficient work
of the firemen prevented a heavier
loss. The store is next door to the
rooms occupied by Richard & Dalgle,
where a $30,000 loss was sustained
two weeks ago, and a block from the
Harrop store, where $20,000 loss oc
curred a short time before. The origin
of all these fires is mysterious and a
strict investigation will be made. Also
a dwelling on Common street, owned
by a Thomson and occupied by Floyd
Stout, was partly destroyed by fire
originating in a washhouse.
Train Service Is Ordered.
Baton Rouge.-The Louisiana rail
road commission settled the Texas
and Pacific-Iron Mountain through
service by issuing an order requiring
the Texas and Pacific to put into ef
fect a train service between Addis and
Ferriday that would make connection
with the through Iron Mountain at
The commission fixed a maximum
rate of 15c per 100 pounds for ship
ment of cotton seed over one line, 17c
per 100 over two-lines and 20c over
three lines. A new rule was adopted
requiring. roads within forty-eight
hours to return to shippers from non
agency stations all bills of lading
More Extensive Diversification.
Abbeville.-The disastrous crop fail
ures of the past few years have had
the effect of causing the farmers of
Vermilion parish to diversity upon a
more extensive scale than evem at
tempted. More oats were sown the
past fall than ever before, while sev
eral carloads of Irish potatoes have
been ordered for planting this spring.
• ----.d , M.'
Should Not Be Called Rags.
An Englishman entertaining an
American friend Invited him to at
tend a little dinner. "I'll be pleased
to come," said the Yankee. "Shall I
wear my glad rags?'
"H'o, no, no!" said the cockney.
"i't's to be h'evenlng dress, you
The American citizen smilingly ex
plained that "glad rags" Is a Yankee
slang expression for evening dress
and let it go at that.
SAt the dinner later the English.
man was called on for a speech. The
"glad rags' incident had made a pro
found impression on him, and this is
what he told his friends:
"My word, but those Yankees have
some bally h'expresslons. When H'I
arsked me friend to be h'our guest
this h'evening 'e said 'e'd be chawm
ed to do so. 'But H'I say, h'old chap,'
said 'e, 'shall H' put on me mirthful
tattered h'attise' "
"No," whispered the Yankee. "No.
BREAKS A COLD IN A DAY
And Cures Any Cough That Is Cur
able. Noted Doctor's Formula.
"From your druggist get two ounces
of Glycerine and half an ounce of Globe
Pine Compound (Concentrated Pine).
Take these two ingredients home and
ut them into a half pint of good whis
ey. Take one to two teaspoonfuls after
each meal and at bedtime. Smaller doses
to children according to age." This is the
best formula known to selence. There
are many cheaper preparations of large
quantity, but It don't pay to experiment
with a bad cold. Be sure to get only
the genuine Globe Pine Compound
(Concentrated Pine). Each half ounce
bottle comes in a sealed tin screw-top
case. If your druggist does not have
it in stock he will get it quickly from
his wholesale house. This has been
published here every winter for six
years and thousands of families know
its value. Published by the Globe Phar
maceutical laboratories of Chicago.
"What shall we say of Senator Avere
"Just say he was always faithful
to his trust."
"And shall we mention the name
of the Trust?"
Touching the Cardinal.
At the Democratic convention in
Baltimore last summer two of the ser
geants-at-arms were Ohioans, Col. John
Bolan of Toledo and Capt. Joseph
Dowling of Dayton. Bolan is the wit
who laid down the maxim that "anny
man who parts his hair in the middle
is no Dimmycrat."
When Cardinal Gibbons had finish
ed the opening prayer, he descended
from the rostrum and made his way
toward the door. As he neared the
exit where the two Ohioans were on
guard, Bolan whispered:
"Joe, touch him whih he passes
"All right, colonel," replied Dowling,
with an innocent air. "What pocket
has he got it in?"--Popular Maga
Mark Twain and T. R. '"
Augustus Thomas, the playwright,
kept the mirth alive with story after
story. One had reference to a game
in which the players, so Mr. Thomas
said, were Colonel Roosevelt, the late
Mark Twain and himself.
"In the course of the game Colonel
Roosevelt talked much of war," said
Mr. Thomas. "And I remember him
turning to Mark Twain and asking
him it it were true that the bravest
men were nervous when they faced
the enemy, and Mark Twain, being
an old confederate soldier, replied:
'Yes, that is quite true, for I remem
ber vividly to this day that I had
the quality of maintaining it all
through the engagement.' "-New
Breath Was "Out of Place."
Papa took Harry to the country to
risit his grandparents. They lived a
short distance from the village where I
the train stopped. Harry insisted on
running as they approached the home
orf his grandparents. They had not
gone far, however, until Harry's
breath was coming in short Jerks and
he could hardly talk.
'What's the matter, son?" asked the
"My-breath-is all out of place,"
gasped the little fellow.
"What public board is most in fa
vor in a municipality?"
"I rather think it is the festive
It doesn't take the man whot thinks
he knows it all very long to tell how
little he really knows.
"Up Against It"
You are certainly "up agalnst
it" when your meals cause
you distress, such as Bloat
Ing, Heartburn, Sourness,
will soon ima
, prove your condition.
It strengthens the entire db
gestive system and safe
guards you against attack of
a bottle sad be convliwned.
W. N. U, HOUSTON, N.I) 4-118. :