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Lese Majeste. A teacher in one of the schools of Berlin has given to the papers of that A city a composition written by one of the pupils in his school on the sub ject, "The Kaiser," in the course of I which the young author says: "Prince i1 Wilhelm was born on the kaiser's t birthday. From the dome of the cas- { tle 101 salute shots were fired. The s old grandfather and old Wrangel I hopped into a cab and went to the a schloss, and old Wrangel said: 'The boy is all right,' and the father made a bow from the balcony, and it was awful cold. And when the boy was baptized his father held his watch in front of the litle fellow's nose, and he i= grabbed it and never let go again, be cause he is a Hohenzollern." A Profitable Course. i "Did you find the course profitable?" "Rather; tutcred six men in it." Lampoon. HER i PhYSICIAN AD VISED - Taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Columbus, Ohio.-- "I have taken Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound during change of life. My doctor told me it was good, and since taking it I feel so much better that I can do all my work again. I think Lydia E. Pinkham's Segetable Com Spound a fine remedy for all woman's troubles, and I never forget to tell my friends what it has done for me." -Mrs. E. HANsoN, 304 East Long St., Columbus, Ohio. Another Woman Helped. Graniteville, Vt. -"I was passing throughthe Changeof Lifeand suffered from nervousness and other annoying symptoms. Lydia E.Pinkham's Vege table Compound restored myhealthand strength, and proved worth mountains I of gold to me. For the sake of other suffering women I am willing you I should publish my letter." -- Ms. CRARLES BARCLAY, B.F.D., Granite ville, Vt. Women who are passing through this critical period or who are suffering from any of those distressing ills pe culiar to their sex shouldnot lose sight of the fact that for thirty years Lydia ., Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, which is made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for ae ills,. In almost every commu you will find women who have restored to health by Lydia E. 'a Vegetable Compound. G hEADAC HE SPositively cured by these Little Pills. Ther also relieve Die trl omn Dyspepela, In* digestion andToollearty Bating. A perfect rem edy for Dizzlneas, Nau* * ea, Drowsiness, Bad Tastelathe Mouth, Coat. ed Tongue, Pain in the 81ide, TORPID LIVER. fWtlatesl the Bowel.. Purely vegetable. RALk l..L SMALL DOSE SUALL IRIlE. lii- ensineu; ost 'ear Ji eFao*ieSignature anstr~ sheartas i l. , n I I I .lor h~antt .a Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Afer·s .a i a4 st.Contains neither r.,OTA C OTIC - In . Aperfect Remedy torConstipa e is-io Sou St acn Diarrhoea, t.esenL+yOF For Over Thrty Years .i -I AI" Mr . SYSFEF!SIA leillp I "ah -.E~'C~l-·r~ ·4 ·- kbi,~oursla~nrd;Dir~AWA ` 1·' ubn ~ frOv* NO ONE BEFORE ST. PATRICK. of at Admirer Ready to Fight for Prece of dence for His Saint. b" of There was a man reading a news. ce 'paper on the car, and all the rest of 's the passengers seemed to be waiting s- to hear more about the Brownsville he shooting-up affair when a man got up el who looked a bit flurried, and after te a moment he sat down beside the man he with the paper and asked: de "Sir, can you tell me about these asholidays? I've got mixed up about as them." in "Why, yes," was the reply. "We he start with New Year's, you know." e' "Yes, sir; I'm on to that." "Then comes Lincoln's Birthday, St. Valentine's Day and Washington's Birthday. Got that straight?" "I have." "Then we get out of February into March, and along comes St. Patrick's Birthday. Then we jump to Fourth of July, and-" "Hold on a minute, sir. St. Valen tine's Day comes in February and St. Patrick's Day not until March, you say?" "That's right." "And who was St. Valentine?" "The God of Love, I believe." "And who put his birthday a month Sahead of St. Patrick's?" "Why, it just happens that way, I suppose." "Oh, it does? Well, you just tell thb man that made it happen that way that he's insulted St. Patrick, and that S if he will stand before me, I'll knock the block off him in one round. That's all, sir. You can tell him that for me." ,en Im- DURING THE SHOPPING. ag hly it so ,rk n's o Sell Maude-Men are getting so deceit ful, you can't trust your best friend. Percy-And what's worse, you can't g get your best friend to trust you. .ng $100 Reward, $100. go- The readers of this paper will be pleased to lears nd that there is at least one dreaded disease that science ins has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only poeltive ter cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh OU being a constitutional disease, requires a constitu tional treatment. Hal's Catarrh Cure is taken in ternally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous to- surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assist his Ing nature in doing its work. The proprietors have ing ro much faith in its curative powers that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case that it tails to cure. Send for list of testimonials Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. gold by all Druggists. 75c. Take Hall's Family Pills for constlpation. bs, The Difference. for Josiah (to newly wedded neighbor) a -I wish you long, happy lives; and I see no reason since you have had experience why you and Mariah can - not pull together as steady and hap-, horses. Obadiar-No doubt we could if there by was only one tongue between us. . Judge. A Question of Value. " Politeness costs nothing," said the em- proverbialist. au. "Which may explain," answered Miss Cayenne, "why some people of the ostentatious wealth have so little of s* it." ble For Headache Try Hicks', Capudine. Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or SNervous troubles, the aches are speedily relieved by Capudfne. It's Liquid--pleas ant to take-Effiects immediately. 10, 25 and 50c at Drug Stores. A' man would rather lose $25 at the racetrack than give it to his wife to . buy a bonnet. ANOTHER LITERARY LANDMARK. 0. Old Tom Paine House Sold to Hugue, Citi not Association for Museum. g. New Yoik.-One of America's most A I notable literary landmarks, the old g Tom Paine house at New Rochelle, N. mel e Y., replete with memories of the great Ext p author of revolutionary days, and also abi r famous as one of the first houses go n erected by the Huguenots in America, is to be preserved and converted into for an historical museum of Paine, Hugue- an t not and revolutionary relics. jug The Huguenot association of New his Rochelle has just purchased the plc turesque old house and announces its thl plan of moving it as it stanas to a plot ~ near the Paine monument at the foot of North avenue. An expenditure of am o rot SRochelle, N. Y. atte 0,000 is contemplated by the ass col ation in furtherance of its col II T~m' "-'By n6 The Old Tom Paine House a' New lY Rochelle, N. Y. ck $10,000 is contemplated by the asse 's ciation in furtherance of its plans. ,." A little more than a year ago fei Charles W. See, the owner of the bra house, announced his determination of bol disposing of the property. His parents, ov Mr. and Mrs. Wesley See, who had So lived in the house for 40 years, died toi last year. When the Wesley Sees to( took possesion of the house the only a relics of Paine they found were some on andirons and a Franklin stove, both tha of which had been used in Paine's bed. us room. Mr. See gave them to Walter Oi T. Bell of New Rochelle, who has it since had them on exhibition in the be window of his shop on Main street. It wl is understood that both relics will be is restored, now that the house is to be H( converted into a museum. Er The house at New Rochelle, as well p as a farm of 227 acres upon which it stands, was presented to Thomas T Paine in 1784 by the state of New York in recognition of his services in the country during the period of its rrh struggle for liberty. Both the house 't and the farm had been confiscated by " congress from Frederick de Veaugh, a en Tory. The house was built about 1720 ' by Huguenot refugees who fled from tier France. FOOLED BRITISH AUTHORITIES. Young Welsh Girl Likened to Famous Mme. Humbert. r) - in nd London.-Miss Charlesworth is the ad young Welsh girl who recently disap m- peared, owing large amounts of money. p-. Her # has been likened to that of tl of Mme 4ainbert, the famous Paris re aswin4, On the claim of an inher re itance' expected, Miss Charlesworth, f - who is only 25 years old, obtained credit from-tradespeople for goods to fa the value of many' thousands of ,e pounds. When her creditors became 'ed of , ,or '" v • Ie 1t argent she disappeared. Her sister said that while motoring shq had been thrown over a cliff. An investigation t did not support this story, and a search for the missing girl discovered ) her at a hotel in Oban, living under an assumed name. Asked concerning her adventures, she said that she had ex- F pected a large inheritance-she did not c explain from whom-but her expecta- L tions were not realized. She admitted she was 'unable to pay her debts. As to her disappearance, she said that-her motor car had almost gone over the edge of a cliff while she was driving; that she thought her sister had been thrown over the cliff, and, filled with horror, she had not stopped to inves-' tigate, buit had run away. The auto, by the way, had been bought on credit, , as were most of the things she owned. '1 She is not unknown in the stock mar ket, but she claims that 'her specula tions there were small. Why She Worried. The leading lady was all "up in the air." The manager sought the reason. "It is her love letters," confided the trusted maid. "H'm!" muttered the manager. "Is t she afraid they will be published?" "No, she's afraid thqy won't be pub. lithed."-Chicago Daily News. I Where They Are Scratched. Bacon-It is said that during every. minute ia the world's 24 hours 3,000,. 000 matches are struck. That's 50,000 a secoldi . Egbert-Is it any wonder there is so muchl mqney spent for trousers? Yonkers Statesman.. te . Jonah in Bad. W, hale-,What are you going to tell ,oa ife iwrhen you get home? SJoka I don't knowi; I don't up: Sise he would belieye m1 .i0 should ~all her that I her beto a Ash tddae k~l~r~$e Boeij ,;· -·' t 1tb * Q T'' '. .;~1 RATHER PAY THAN SERVE. Citizen Soldier's Unique idea of the Duties of a Sentry. Australians still tell stories of the C. L. V.'s, although the war is a far memory. One, a member of the Stock Exchange, was left one wet and miser able night to guard a wagonload of goods. Mi He shivered in the unsheltered place a qu for some hours pondering many things, W, and then a bright thought struck him gent just as the colonel came around on in a his tour of inspection. "Colonel," he asked, "how much is this wagon worth?" TI "I don't know," was the answer. tient "Much or little, we can't afford to lose sicia it." Ti "Well, but colonel," persisted the beca amateur soldier, "you might give me a abse rough idea of the value." - tion "About £200," said the Colonel pota testily. engs "Very well," was the answer. "I A will come down to the camp and give beca you a check for the amount. Then I'll tere turn in. I wouldn't catch my death of mor cold for twice that much." ditic What the colonel said is not re corded.-Melbourne Times. "n' ver) BABY HORRIBLY BURNED his By Boiling Grease-Skin All Came Off One Side of Face and Head- "3 Thought Her Disfigured for Life. decl Used Cuticura: No Scar Left. half - gold "My baby was sitting beside the 3 fender and we were preparing the Fe e breakfast when the frying-pan full of Th f boiling grease was upset and it went all , over one side of her face and head. also. I Some one wiped the scald with a 25 a I towel, pulling the entire skin off. We 8 took her to a doctor. He tended her F a week and gave me some stuff to put you 0 on. But it all festered and I thought the baby was disfigured for life. I mei li used about three boxes of Cuticura r Ointment and it was wonderful how D s it healed. In about five weeks it was live e better and there wasn't a mark to tell Mai where the scald had been. Her skin Dru is just like velvet. Mrs. Hare, 1, e Henry St., South Shields, Durham, N England, March 22, 1908." and I Potter Drug & Chem. Corp., Sole Props., Boston. not TROUBLES OF JUNGLE DENTIST. TI Sgive n Joh n PAZ !i tol not Is Dentist-I wonder does he really want that tooth pulled, or is he schem Ing for a breakfast? Thanks to the Burglar. The dark lantern flashed through )f the flat. Then came the gleam of a i revolver. S "Hands up!" hissed the head of the h family. "You're a burglar." S"Y-yes," gasped the intruder, as he , faced the cold steel. C S "What have you stolen?" 6 "Your wife's pug dog." "H'm. Er--if that's all you may sneak out quietly." "And your motherin-law's parrot." "You don't say. Well, here is some loose change." "And your daughter's phonograph." "Good! Here's" some more loose change." "Also your son's punching bag." "What! Great Scot, man, come out T to the library and I'll open a special bottle."-Tit.Blts. Lost Articles Department Bridget, who had administered the culinary affairs of the Morse household for many yeara, was sometimes torn between" her devotion to her mistress and loyalty to the small son of the house, 5 "Bridget," said Mrs. Morse, in a tone of wonder, after an inspection of he storeroom, "where have those splendid red apples gone that the man brought yesterday-those four big ones?" "Well, now, ma'am," said poor Brid get, "I couldn't rightly say; but I'm thinkin' if you was to find where my er loat o' hot gingerbread is, likely thim n four red apples would be ]yin' right on Stop of it, an' I'm hopin' his little stum mick can stand the sthrain."--Youth's Companion. er Try MuIane Eye Remedy x. For Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes. C6mpounded by Experienced Physicians. Conforms to the Purt Food and Drugs a Law. Murine Doesn't Smart. Soothes Eye ed Pain. Try Murine for Your Efes. In Her Own Terms. er Miss A-What is a rectangle? 'e 12-A rectangle, madam, is a large round spacb hemmed in by four th straight lines.-Wisconsin Sphinx. ' Brooklyn, N. Y. o, Address the Garfield Tea Co. as above t, when writing for free samples of Garfield d. Tea, the true remedy for constipation. 8 a- She Named It. She (casually)-What do you think is the best fruit of courtship? He (tenderly)-The date. Pneumonia and Consumption are al he ways preceded by an ordinary cold. Ham lins Wizard Oil rubbed into the chest draws out the inflammation, breaks up Is the cold and prevents all serious trouble. b. A sacred burden is the life ye bear. I Look on it, lift it, bear it solemnly. Stand up and walk beneath it stead fastly.-Kemble. are Winow's 'oohna Syrn. Vs 10,-.or chndren tootlhas, sortens the ums, aredse in. 00 ammaim,,asllaypain coru rwn Msboulre is A man who needs advice is apt to a Sget the kind he doesn't want. It Crs Wanile You Walk Ti llen'sloot; ore ncosand bunlons. hot, uweht th asioussaeingfset. csciDruugists , Sttspect the meaning and regard not Ssp hes-nocrsates. dl ,ýpr. heirs. Un "LA CAREOA " HAIR RESTORER.o PRICE, s1.00, retal. o .. . .. . . ARTFUL BEGGAR. Miss Charity-If I were to give you a quarter, what would you say? Wandering Jim-I should tell every gent that you were the prettiest lady in all this town. Might Look for Recovery. The following was told of the pa. tient of a well-known New York phy. siclan: The patient, an elderly gentleman, became quite ill while the doctor was absent upon a vacation, the indisposi tion being the result of too frequent potations. A female nurse was at once engaged to care for him in his hotel. A lady, residing in the same hotel, became aware of his illness, and in, terested herself to the extent of one morning inquiring concerning his con dition of the chambermaid. "Shure, ma'am," replied Maggie, "an' I think he do be getting along very well. The nurse was sittln' on his lap this mornin'!" The Most Likely Place. "Money doesn't grow on bushes," declared the purveyor of bromides. "That's right," assented the other half of the sketch. "Not even in the gold fields."-Kansas City Journal. For Colds and Gripp-Capudine. The best remedy for Gripp and Colds is Hicks' Capudine. Relieves the aching and feverishness. Cures the cold-Headaches also. It's Liquid-Effects immediately-10, 25 and 50c at Drug Stores. Only One of Many. "That's a queerly cut dinner Jacket you have on." "This is not a dinner jacket, it's a meal sack." r Depew's After Dinner Pills cures all I liver ills. 5 days: treatment for 10 cents. 1 Mailed to any address. H. E. Walker i Drug Co., Corinth, Miss. No life can be pure in its purpose and strong in its strife, and all life not be purer and stronger thereby. Throat Trouble may follow a Cough, or Hoarseness. "Brown's Bronchial Troches" give relief. 25 cents a box. Samples free. John I. Brown & Son, Boston, Mass. Fortunate is the woman who remeth bers that frowns beget more wrinkles than smiles. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS. PAZO OINTMEN'i'sguaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles in " tol14 days or money refunded. e00. Things past may be repented but not recalled.-Livy. Cyses heSystem a SLaxov_. ra-yekn6and Old. To getit's bwne3iia ae3$cts, maaufactured by tde SCALIFORNIA Se o SYRUP Co. SSOLD BY ALL LADING DRUGGIS Ce size only,. regular once SOIWr bottle. Want a Telephone? e o TOILDRR"' If you do you can get it. If you are anxious to get into closer / ~ touch with your friends, with the family doctor, with the store, with the post office, or with the cotton buyer, you can do it with a telephone at hand. If you want to make the farm a more livable place, if you want to protect your home, you can do it by installing a telephone. If you will cut out this advertisement, write your nae and address on the margin and mail it to-day to our nearest housm we will send you at once a copy of our Free Bulletin No. 1o7 ea "How to Build Rural Telephone Lines" This Bulletin explains A clearly how a rural telephone system is built and operated, and it also contains full information as to costs. In a Farmer's Mutual Company a few day's labor and a cash investment of about 525. per subscriber; will purchase all material and build an absolutely standard system. A Rural Telephone is an investment, not an expense. The This Book Sent Free telephone which enables you to sell ten bales of cotton at J cent per pound more than the traveling buyer offers you, has paid for its en tire cost. If you have some hay down all ready to go in, it is worth something to have a telephone with which to call on Neighbor Smith "for a lift" before the storm breaks. i . The Rural Telephone pays for itself each year and we have brought the initial cost within the reach of every farmer. Present prices are especially favorable and thousands of Farmers' Mutual Com panies are now organizing so as to build their lines this Spring. Write us to.day. WESTERNN ULECTRIO seolbera Olices GCO M' Northers a d Wetra Okces The world's oldest and largest tele- Chigo Piabuhi Cincinnati Portsmouth phone manufacturer. There are over Denver Saint Paul Dallat Saint Louis 4,000,o Western Electrc Telephone Los Angels Salt Lake City Indianapol Slanna in use in the United States to.day. New York San Francisco Rural Telepboes a specially Omaha Seattle PUTNAM FADELESS DYES oft r mams s srhin I" I h Sells than am otho. One.IOcPac af celorsallflbhus. They dyel5 cold waten better thaw any other yoe. Yo nal di MONO t55UHh5Ut l q aWLt. Wrltelfeib SS bol*k-lOu toOt Bleach amd Mix Coler., MONROE DRUU 00., ulamea, Illinise. The most certain sign of wisdom is a0LT DISTEMPER a continual cheerfulness.-Montalgue. e .r cred. and aolot_ eame n no matter mnoeed",ltfl basing tI ONLY ONE "BiRSOMO QIUININ_.II by using SI'Ol' LIqUiD e&'i8 t EM, o l Sun a LAATVoE BROMO aNIN. Look or the ne or In feed. Acts on the blood nd espes gm r or Qt is LTLV O unI. Lo tor Ilformsoldlstpet. BestreiodIoVeseiO the sisnlature of1 . W. GROVE. Used the world Onebottter ea d t oeCledtreoe o r0.o ItI" ---1 -ott - orsrto Once old one D ay ?loc. ao dowen ordroggiut and hear doom. or snt esprU s ad by oeanneacturer out shows hoew to poultcethrowi e Bookletgives egethtlnn. Local cnwMane lmusu "aw An unbridled tongue is the worst of no oe Yr-- L ol , ag oaf.. Ls W diseases:-Euriuides. OIJ1 MEDI A .. Oooo o, ln.de Ins&, A, S iscoural[ed? "Do as I did", writes Mrs. A. J. Smith, of Trego, Wis., "and take that good medicine, Cardui, for your troubles. "Before I commenced to take Cardui, I was so sick and discouraged I thought I would never get well, and did not care if I didn't. I suffered terrible pain, every month, and had displacement and other female troubles. "I took a lot of medicine before I could notice any difference, but now I feel better than in fourteen years. I have no more pain, the female trouble is cured, and I am so well that I do all my own work, milk six cows, night and morning, and wash and cook for seven persons." TAKECA 0 I GH 154 The Woman s Tonic If this is not a remarkable record, nothing is. It must have a message for you, telling you what you might expect for yourself, as a re sult of taking Cardui, for any ailment that is yours, as a result of womanly weakness. SNo matter how weak you may feel; no matter how long you may have suf fered; no matter how many other medicines have failed; do not be dis couraged. Take Cardui. It will help you. Sold everywhere. For 16c. Everybody loves arleat vegetables and brilliant flowers. Therefore, to , gain you as a customer we offer: 1000 kernels Fine Onion Seed. 1000 " Rich Carrot Seed. 1000 " Celery, 100 Parsley. 1000 " Juicy Radish Seed. 1500 " ButteryLettuceSeed. 1500 " Tender Turnip Seed. 1500 " Sweet Rutabaga S'd. 100 " Melons, 100 Tomato. 1200 " hiltatFlowrlagAuusl In all 10,000 kernels of warranted northern grown seeds, well worth *1.00 of any man's money (including Big Catalog) all postpaild for but 1e in stamps. And if you send 2Oe we add a pack. algef EarliestPeep O'DaySweetCorn. *lg Plant, Tool and Seed Catalog freeto intending buyers. Write for same today. TE JOIN A SAIZEl SEED CO. LaCJessE, WI$. w New Book on Consumlption FREE TO ALL Sm page, eloth bound medlo albo on consumption. Tells in plain, simple lanie now esonsumptioen tan be sure1 n Fyour own aOure. Write today. Tho Book 1 abso lately tree. YONKERUAN 0.O ggge Waitw ItNSes ita, 1ai1ma Readers Readlersiritng to buy tised in its columns shoul inh upon having what they ask for, refusing all ubaitues or imitations. rr P;VNEW DISBCOVERY; gives DROPSY qutckrelief nd cureswot cases. Book of testimonials and 10 days' treatment FRi'B. DR. .. B. GREN'S SONS. Box B ATLANTA, GA. A. N. K.--F (1909-11) 2273. RHEUMATISM I want every chronic rheumatle to throw away all medicines, all liniments, all plasters, and give MUNYON'S RHEUMA. TISM REMEDY a triaL No matter what your doctor may say, no matter what your friends may say, no matetr bow prejudiced you may be against all adver. used remediles, go at once to your drug gist and get a bottle of the It8BUMA TISM REMEDY. If it falls to give satls taction,I will refund your money.-Mnnyon Remember this remedy contalns no sal. teylie acid, no opium cocaine, morphine or other harmful drugs. It Is put p under the guarantee of the Pure Tood and Drug Act. Vor sale by all druggists. Price. f2e." LIVE STOCK AND MISCELLANEOUS Electrotypes IN GREAT VARIETY FOlR SALE CAT THE LOWEST PRICES BY WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION Kansas City, Missouri