Southern sentinel. [volume], July 04, 1857, Image 1

About Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858

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VOLUME IX.
PLÂQUEMINE. PARISH OF IBERVILLE. LA., JULY 4, 1857.
NUMBER 47.
80VT1BKN SBNTIML
tuslished EVERT saturday morninq bt
WILLIAM P. BRADBURN.
■•Office on Main street.»
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Merchants or other* advertising by the year will only b»
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ie ties or schools, will be charged as advertisements
Ludicrous Scene.
The following ludicrous scene is
copied from an article in the April
number of Blackwood's, entitled a
'Remonstrance with Dickens:'
One of the most shameful recollect
lions of our almost irreproachable life
lies at the door of the mad wag, DickN
ens. We were attending service in a
cathedral in a city where we were a
stranger, and had been shown into a
pew already occupied by two respecta.,
ble old ladies. For a time we behav
ed with our wanted decorum, till some
absurdity committed by the elder Wel
der, of which we had been reading the
night before, rose up to haunt us.—
Had we been in the open air, a good
laugh would have relieved us, butcab
med, cribbed, confined, as it was, the
risibility expanded till our form swell
ed visibly, our face grew purple, and
we saw a medical man in the next pew
feel in his waistcoat pocket as he anx*
iously watched the vains of our fore,
head. The choral symphonies of the
anthem Invested Mr. Weller's image
with fifty-fold absurdity, blending him
as they did, in his top boots and shawi
with angels ever bright and fair. Des*
paring of our ability to prevent an ex
plosion, and feeling the danger becoms
ing each moment more imminent, for
india rubber itself must give way un*
derthe accumulating pressure, we sud*
denly dived with our head under the
shelf on which the prayer-book rested,
and laughed silently, while our tears
dropped like rain upon the foot-stool.
We were beginning to grow calm
when, looking round, we saw the two
old ladies regardingus with pious hör«
ror through their spectacles, and si
dling off to their own end of the pew.
This set us off again, and down went
our head in« vain, ostrich-like attempt
at concealment, for our shoulders and
back, convulsively agitated from nape
to waistband, told of the internal Strugs
gle, to say nothing of sounds that ac>
casionally broke forth, noways resem
bling the responses. Conscious that
prebendary and precentor were regar
ding us from their eminence, we again
raised our head with desperate gravity
and shall never forget the agony of
shame with which we beheld, an aged
verger sternly approaching, while two
church-wardens were quitting their
pews with the faces of men determined
to discharge a painful duty. Never
theless, at the instigation of old Wei
ler, off we went again in a fit now quite
audible, and were eventually marched
down the centre aisle, between row"
of feces fixed in devout horror, with
our handkerchief crammed nearly
dowa our throat, and our watery eyes
starting out of our head like a lands
crab's, and so turning a corner, out un
der the old Saxon archway iuto the
churchyard, where we exasperated the
verger and churchvwardens to phren*
zy by sitting down on a tombstone and
giving full vent to our mirth. Next
day, alKrepentant, we waited upon
the dean, who being himself a Picks
wickian gave us absolution in the
most kindly way, and we caused a cos
py of "Pickwick" to be bound in mos
Tocco ond gold, with the inscription
"from ft penitent Sabbathsbreaker,"
which is to this day consplcious on
• shelf of the Episcopal library.
A Patent Sermon.
The following is said to be going the
rounds of the Engiish press, as a verita
ble specimen of pulpit oratory in the back
woods of America. Credulity is going
farther than the sermon:
Beloved Brethren: I'm the man what
preached the sermon which has been
printed in the papers, from the tex, 'And
he played on a harp uv a thousand strings
—sperits of just men made perfeck.' I
mout as well say 1 don't take pride in
things uv that sort, for in the language uv
my tex for <u day—I'm an orful sinner,
the chief among ten thousands, and the
one altergether luvly. Them is the words
which you'll find in Genesee. I'm gwine
tu preach without notes, 'kase I can't rite,
and 'kase I couldn't read it ef I could;
mv notes are bark notes, of which I ve
wot a pocket full, and notes of hand,
which I shall give to my squire to collect
when I get back to Indiana, for—I'm an
orful sinner, the chief among ten thou
sand', and the one altergether luvly.
This tex, my breethren, can be dividen
into three peices—fust, second and third.
Fust, I am an orful sinner. That means
you inderwidually, not ine pursonaliy—
Thar are more sinners nor one. It's a
sin tu drink water and catch the ague,
whar a little sperits will keep you in good
health; its a sin to steal, unless you 'steal
awhile away;' its a sin to swear, unless
you swear and sin not; its a sin to lie, un
less you lie low and keep dark; pride is
sin. Some is proud of their books—now
I ain't, though I've the gift and grit to
speak in publick; some is proud of their
learnin, but thank («od I've none to be
proud uv—for I'm an orful sinner, the
chief among ten thousand, and the one
altergether luvly.
Second, 'Chief among ten thousand.'—
Thar is different kinds of chiefs. Thar's
the mischief, the chief of sinners and the
Cavuga Chief. The mischief means the
old Boy, what keeps the fire office below,
and lets poor folks suffer in the cold here
on airth. The chiefs of sinners means
you, you wharf rats, and arterdemelons
amflebus animals, what live here about
the canawl. Look at them ere bosses
rise up in judgement agin you, high uv
bone, low uv flesh, tuff hides and short
memories; hear the crows cawing fur they
know that wliar the canawl is thar will
the crowd be gathering. The Cayuga
chief is a feller what pitches into my frens
the sperit-iJealers, and in other frens the
State Prison officers. He is one uv your
cold wattir men who goes far the prohibi
tory law what Governor Seymour vetoed.
If it warnt Sunday I should hooray for
Seymour—for I'm an orful sinner, the
chief among ten thousand and the one al.
tergether lyvly.
Thirdly, 'Altergether luvly.' Different
things is luvly. When my boat swims
like a duck, I say she am luvly—when
my wife gives me no curtain lectures,
(she has the gift of tongues as well as my
self,) I say she am luvly—when the wind
don't blow and it don't rain, and it don't
do nothing, I say the day am luvly, for
I'm the chief among ten thousand, and
the one altergether luvly.
In conclusion, brethpring, if that big
pile of stuns was one stun what a big stun
it would be, ef you my brethering were
one bruther what a big bruiher you'd be,
and if my big bruther should fling that
big stun into the canawl, what a great
splash that would make-^for I'm an or**
fuJ sinner, the chief among ten thousand
and the one altergether luvly.
My brethering, I want to give notice
there will be some carrying 011 at this
place next Sunday afternoon at half pas
four, when I shall prove the doctrin that
uv all the shells in the world, the hard
shells am the thickest and the best—fur
I'm an orful sinner, the chief among ten
thousand, and the one altergether luvly.
I shall prove that book larnin ain't of
no use my breethering, that writing cer
mons and getting a celery for um is sin
that deserves indemnification—for I'm an
orful sinner, the chief amang ten thousand,
and the one altergether luvly.
Breethering let us liquor, and then go
hum, remember the words of the profit,
'Be sure you're right, then go ahead.'
R ssüscitation . —Dr. Marshall Hall,
the eminent London physician, gives in
structions for the resuscitation of persons
apparently drowned, at variance with the
methods bow in use. He says there is
one great impediment to the restoration
of the functions of respiration, which is
the falling back of the tongue across the
top of the glottis, or entrance into the
windpipe. In order to remove this, the
patient is to be placed upon his face and
breast, and the body is then to be turned
slowly to its former position. This mo
tion, the effect of which is to cause a con
siderable amount of air in ( the lungs to be
expelled and reinspired, is to be kept up
until breathing is restored and all hopes
of resuscitation from this source abandon
ed.
Ludicrous Effects of the Appearance 1
cf a loffieî iu 1712. j
As everybody is on the qui vive in re
gard to the Comet, and as all sorts of ide
as are 'around' in regard to it, we give
the folowing amusing skctch gleaned,
from an old paper:
In the year 1712, Mr. Whiston, having
calculated the return of a comet, which
was to make its appearance on Wednes
day, the 14th of October, at "five minutes
after five in the morning, gave notice to
the public accordingly, with a terrifying
addition that a total dissolution of the
world by fire was to take place on the
Friday following. The reputation Mr.
Whiston had long maintained iu England,
both as a divine and a philosopher, left
little or no doubt with the populace offfe
truth of his prediction.
Several ludicrous events took place. A
number of persons in and about London
seized all the barges and boats they could
lay their hands on in the Thames, very
rationally concluding that when the con
flagration took place there would be the
most safety on the water. A gentleman
who had neglected family prayer for bets
ter than five years informed his wife that
it was his determination to resume that
laudable practice the same evening; but
his wife, hating engaged a ball at her
house, persuaded her husbaud to put it
off till she saw whether the comet appear
ed or not. The South Sea stock imme
i diately fell to 5 per cent, and the India
to II; and the captain of a Dutch ship
threw all his powder into the river that
the ship might.not be endangered.
The next morning, however, the Com
et appeared according to the predictions,
and before noon the belief was universal
that the Day of Judgment was at hand.
About this time three hundred and twen
ty-three clergymen were ferried over to
Lambeth, it was said, to petition that a
short prayer might be penned and order
ed, there being none in the Church service
on that occasion. Three maids of honor
burnt their collection of novels and plays,
and sent to the bookseller's to buy each
of them a Bible, and Bishop Taylor's
'Holy Living and Dying.' The run up
on the bank was so prodigious that all
hands were employed from morning till
night in discounting notes and handing
out specie. On Thursday considerably
more than 7,000 kept mistresses were le
gally married in the face of several con
gregations. And, to crown the whole
farce, Sir Gilbert Heathcote, head Direc
tor of the banks, issued orders to all the
fire officers in London, requiring them 'to
keep a good look -out and have a particu
lar eye on the Bank of England.'
A Custom Worthy Imitating .—It is
a custom among certain tribes in Siberia
that when a woman is married, she must
prepare the wedding dinner with her own
hands. To this feast all the relatives and
friends, both of her own family and that
of the groom, are invited. If the viands
are well cooked, her credit as a good
housewife is established. But if the dish
es are badly prepared, she is disgraced in
that capacity forever. The result is, that
^ Siberian wife is generally a good house»
keeper, whetever else she may be, and
thu9 competent, beyond her sex generally
for the practical duties of life. Girls, bear
that iu mind!—-[Russian Life.
A Wealthy Old Gentleman .—The
present condition of Uncle Sam's worldly
affairs is thus humorously stated by the
Brooklyn F'agle:
Uncle Sam, after carrying on business
for the last eighty years, having three
wars, buying territory from France and
Mexico, buildin* railroads, speculating in
a bank, and trading with all creation,
comes out with a snug little balance on
hand of twenty-two millions—enough to
set up several millionaires, and which
makes Sam a millionaire amongst na
tions. Since our revolution England has
quadrupled her national debt, and other
nations of Europe have run up a score
nearly in proportion, while Sara has paid
off his debts, bought real estate, and has
money laid up for a rainy day.
A Western editor, whose subscribers
complained very loudly that he did not
give them news enough for their money,
told them that if they did not find enough
in the paper, they had better read the Bi
ble, which, be had no doubt, would be
news to them.
:
Green Hair .—.The Bulletin de Thé
rapeutique contains the curious case of a
worker in metals, who has wrought in cop
per only five months, and whose hair,
which was lately white, has now turned
I to a decided green. Chemical analysis J
j has proved that his hair contains a cons d
( erable quantity of acetate of copper, and
j it ia to this circumstance that it owes its
change of color.
Affection.
We sometimes meet with men who
seem to think that any indulgence of af
fectionate feeling is weakness. They
will return from a journey, and greet their
families with a distant dignity, and move
among their children with cold and lofty
splendor of an iceberg, surrounded with
its broken fragments. There is hardly a
more unnatural sight on earth than one
of those families without a heart. A fath
er had bettér extinguish his boy's eyes
than to take away his heart. Who that
has experienced the joys »if friendship,
and values sympathy and affection, would
not rather loose all that is beautiful in na*
ture's scenery than be robbed of the hid
den treasure of his heart? Who would
not rather follow his child to the grave
than to entomb his parental affection.—
Cherish, then, your heart's best affections.
Indulge in the warm and gushing emo
tions of fraternal love. Think it noj a
weakness. Teach your children to love,
to love the rose, the robin; to love their
parents, their God, Let it he the studied
object of their domestic culture to give
them warm hearts, ardent affections.—
Hind your whole family together by these
strong cords. You cannot make them too
strong.
A Conjugal Trial .—At Zurich, in
former times, it was the custom, when a
married couple applied for a divorce on
account of incompaiibiliiy of temper, for
the magistrate to shut up the pair for a
fortnight in an isolated tower on the lake.
Not only were they condemned to a com
mon room, but they were supplied with
only one bed, one chair, one knife, and
one fork, so that their comfort depended
entirely on mutual complaisance. If, af»
ter the expiration of the fortnight, they
persisted in their resolution, the tribunal
ordered a serious examination of the case,
and, if possible, the divorce. Butin gen
eral, tHe quarrelsome pair did not wait
for the end of the trial to which they were
subjected to become reconciled, and to re
quest to be released.—[Gallignaui's Mes
senger.
A Paris correspondent, mentioning the
recent decease of a notable French gentle
man, M. de Salvandy, says:—
'On his death bed, and when he could
no longer speak, he beckoned his wife to
hand him asiate, when he wrote and han
ded to her,'sixty years of existence—thir
ty-two years of happiness.'
Brown says that, in order to know
whether this was meant for a compliment
to his connubiality or his celibacy, the
letter writer should have told us whether
the gentleman was married at twenty
eight, or thirty^one.
|Cr*ln China, when a man commits a
suicide they immediately hang whoever,
by offending or thwarting him, has been
the cause of the rash deed, and give the
goods of the. offender to the family of the
suicide, so that many gentlemen of failing
health and slender means, manage to get
insulted by a rich man, hang themselves,
and have the pleasing assurance that their
families will be handsomely provided for.
Pleasant sort of life insurance, and China
is a great country.
A Great Country —Jefferson Davis
in his late speech at Jackson, IVli&s., men
tioned, as an ilustration of the, vastness
of our national domain, the fact that du
ring the four years of the late administra
tion, more laud was ceded by the general
: government for internal improvement and
I other legitimate purposes, than a third of
France, and still we retain a public do
main equal to the entire area of Europe!
The Lynchburgh Virginian thinks the
day may come when the people of the
United States will regret that they have
followed the doctrius of Mr. Jefferson, in
lieu of those of Washington. Undoubt
edly wherever the docirines of the two
come in conflct, (and they do in many in
stances) the day of regret, with conserva
tive men, has already come, that those of
Washington bave not prevailed.
Breaks Down .—The editor of the late
Literary Filibuster would no doubt have
fixed up an excellent conundrum out of
the following, had he not unfortunately
broken down, thus:
Why are cats in boots like Heathen
Pagans?
Because their understandings are in
volved in darkness—and something else
about 'bootless endeavors to enlighten
: them,' which won't work in very well.
•Harry,* said a yonng lady, on the seat
j j j p __ ^ _
J before us at the theatre, last evening, 4 how
j ghould like to be an actress.' 'An âc
tress, Henrietta; whyl' 'Oh! it must be
e0 nice to be made love to in such pretty
words every evening.
fficoias iSiebler
Harber, Cupping- and Bleeding.
HAS opened his ehop in Keller's n <w house,
opposite Kahn : s store, where he will be glad
to see all who may require his services in either
of the above branches. He is sure that none will
be displeased who may require his services. je4
ALFRED DUrKHIF.il.-A. L. HAYES.—E. W. SANDERS
EOTERXER., BAYES A CO.,
COMJIISSIOÎÏ âc FORWABDPO
MEUCIIAÎÏTS,
No. 37 Caroodelet street,
apl8 NE W ORLEANS.
A. WXLBET,
Cabinet maker,
Grateful for past favors, respectfully inlorms his
friends and customers and the public generally,
that after a temporary absence from his old stand
on Plaquemine street, opposite the market house
he has again returned to it, where he expects now
to remai -i. He continues to receive from New Or
leans and Cincinnati, large additions to his stock.
Of Furniture of all Kinds,
which will be sold at his usual low rates.
Old Furniture takeu in exchange, or repaned
very low prices.
He also makes COFFINS of every style at the
shortest notice. He has alwayson hand complete
setts of Fisk's Patent Metallic Coffins, and keeps
Splendid Hearse. Prices moderate. oc!5
L. GABltiKL,
Informe a ses amis et aux pub
lic en général, qu'il vient d'our
rir une BAR, et tient des meil
leur Liqueur qu'il peut se procu
rer pour satisfair a sa clientèle. Il tiendra tou
jours sa bonne renommé de Bière et Cider de
Normandie. jan31
BAR
A kd
mm
The undersigned informs the public
that he has opened a BAR in connection
with his Saloon for the sale of ALE and
CIDER, where he will always keep the most su
perior Liquors and Segats, as well as Ale and Ci
der. Call in at No. 10 Main street, opposite Live
ry Stable. jan3i L. GABRIEL.
Livery Stable.
The undersigned would inform his
.friends and the public generallv that he
has added a LIVERY STABLE to his
Hotel, where he will at all times keep the besto
Horses and Buggies for hire.
ap2J M. MARIX, Market street.
ICE .'—ICE ! !
VESS1ER DÜBUCLET, JR.,
RESPECTFULLY inform the planters and
others of Iberville, and the citizens of Pla
quemine, that ihey have at great expense, fitted
up an extensive Ice House in this town on the
lower floor of the large building of M. Hebert,
on Main Street, where they will keep the
Best Boston Ice,
constantly on hand throughout the season, which
ihey will dispose of at a reasonable price.
The citizens of Grosse Tete who may patron
ize them, they will attend to having their Ice con
veyed to the Village.
They will also furnish casks of such size as
their customers may order them to have made.
Drayage gratis within the corporation.
Messrs. Vessier & Dubuclet, Jr., trust that by
dose attention to their business, and an untiring
desire to please all, that they will receive the pa
tronage of the community. feb!4
GUSTAVE MAILLAN,
HOUSE ACTS SICHT FACETTER»
Plaquemine, La.
UTAH work will be executed with fidelity,
punctuality and despatch. The patronage of the
public is respectfully solicited. ap5-Iy
NEW AND FASHIONABLE GOODS
For Coats, Pants and Vests.
• . ———
THE undersigned respectfully informs
his friends and the public generally,
that he has just returned from New Orleans
with the largest and
BKost Beautiful Stock of Goods
for Coats, Pants and Vests that has ever been
brought to this town—comprising ali description«
of articles for summer wear—and which he is
prpeared to make up at short notice.
While returning his thank* for the very liberal
manner in which he has been patronized by the
citizens of Iberville, the undersigned would re»«
pectfully solicit a continuance of the same—ev
er promising
"■Punctuality and a Faultless Fit."
Call and see his Goods at his shop on Main street,
nearly opposite the Sentinel Office, and next door
Vessier's Segar Store.
my.TO JACOB BERNSTEIN.
TO THE PUBLIC.
IN consequence of the competition of Auctia
neers, notice is hereby given to Adminisira
tors, Tutors, Executors, and all other persons in
terested in having Succession Property sold, that
( will make such Sales on moee reasonable term»
than any Auctioneer in the Parish.
JcbH JOS. II ERWIN, Sheriff _
Fire Orate»—Fire Cirâtes*
COMPLETE assortment of Chamber and Par
lor Coal Fire Grates foi sale by
mhH HART, AUSTIN & CO.
PERSONS in want of Brick can have them
delivered at any place in town by leaving
their orders at our stoie.
ap4 HART, AUSTIN & CO.
Veterinary Snrgeon.
THE undersigned respectfully offers his servi
ces to the Plantersanaolhers in this parish,
in the above capacity. All orders sent to bim at
ilia residence below Plaquemine will be punctu
ally attended to—he will visit any part of the
parish. Particular care given to animal* placed
m his charge. He gives particular attention t®
the altering of animals.
[r?-Charges moderate,
je 13 GEO KLEINPETER .