The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume], April 17, 1886, English, Image 1

About The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898

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JOURNAL OF THE 9 th SENATORIAL DISTRICT
Offirmi Journal of the Parish ot Lafonrehe and [the Town of Thibodanx
YOL. XXI.
THIBODAUX, LA., SATURDAY, APRIL 17, 1886.
38
HUMOR.
The original barber-quene: The pig
tail of a Chinese tonsorial artist.
A young lawyer of Camden, Pa., has
just bad bis first ease. It was a ease of
measles.
A wicked man who is very stubborn
is a sort of liard-ond sinner. — Texas
Siftings.
Ji nni:- You are charged with drunk
enness. Prisoner—Vis, ver Honor, and
if ye blaze 1 <1 like to be dis-charged._
lias hi in/ton Hatchet.
A Georgia man lias paid for a farm
with the melons oil' it, to say nothing
of the struggling young doctors he lias
firmly established in business.
"Yes, said the Deacon, '"our Heaven
ly lather knows all our inmost
thoughts/' ''Then," replied Fogg, "Ho
must be possessed of a deal of worth
less information."
W11KN HE KICKS.
A man is very like a gun.
Tlie fact j.lease trv to allix;
Eor if lie fuels lie's cliargeil too much
\\ hy, that's the time he kicks.
— } ont'cr.< .x a trs:11(l/t.
YV iee—"H o you think Jett Davis
aimed at despotic power?" Husband
(henpecked)—"I think so, dear. He was
found dressed in women's clothes."—
Neva For k Sun.
"If you don't keep out of this vard
you'll catch it," said a woman to a boy
in West Lynn. "All right ,' 1 answered
the gamin, "I wouldn't have come in it
I'd known your folks had it."
"Why don't you keep your hands
clean?" asked a Detroit parent of his
9-year-old boy the other day. "Oh, it
takes too much time, and times are
hard," was the reply.— Detroit Dree
Press.
Landlady—"D o you find your steak
tender, Mr. Dumby? If not, I will——
Dumby i who was wakened at 5 o'clock
that morning by the cook pounding it)
—"Er—it might be well to let the cook
hit it a few more times, 1 think."—A ~ew
York Sun.
Moth eii—-"A re you quite sure, dear,
that young l'eatherly is not fond of
you? He certainly seemed very de
voted last night wlien he buttoned your
glove." Daughter- -"All, yes, mother,
but his hand never trembled."— Sew
York Sun.
"Doctoii," said the grateful patient,
seizing the physician's liund, "I shall
never forget that to you I owe my life."
"You exaggerate," said the doctor,
mildly; "you oniy owe me for fifteen
visits; that is the point which 1 hope
you will not fail to remember."
"I'r is easy enough to see that that
man lias never served on a jury before,"
remarked an old lawyer in court to a
friend. "Why?" his unprofessional
friend inquired. "lJeeau.se lie pays
such close attention to the evidence."—
Neie York T mcs.
"Pa," said
ft young
Danbury boy to
his father, "w
liort* ar«»
you going?" "To
a hog-guessing match.
inv son." "What
do the hogs guess about, pa?" was tho
next query.
"Littlo
boys should be
seen and not
hoaril/' s
'aid the. father, ill
an impressive
' voi<*e. —
Danbury Xeics.
"Ala EI Nox
love.
the Doctor said
that I abso
luti'ly it
- uired a little
change. 1 w
:i . forced
to toll him vou
was always p
1 st run (.tit of it whenever
I asked yon
for ,my.
z.id that it was
Weeks sine
' ou luid
given me a cent.
Then lie said
1 nri.-st <
i-ed a great deal
of change.
Ain't- vou
as named, now?"
But lie w. sti'l
. Not o'
-,i bit.
Ttii.r.i: 0
;:i:l with t!
■ , • 11 . j ] j 11 fact*
Tilt _'il 1 \. ;
I. 1 til - \. Hi
!i .:lT eve? *
Tli .sit, ■
ll* ' ;! 1 * ■
| < J \' _ r.l('
Ami ;r- _-i
i t . 1.-1 .> is.
all*i r-iiv;
Thi
: 1 u 1 h lit
\- itiniii" illr.
TIht.-'k 1 lit !
1 r< Yf ih'tlD
* c.u iv iiair.
Alld til
1 1 \ li;C 1 " :*;.
; ,.rr t »1 . ; ;
Till!
:if l:ia r i :
j- ;i .j
Tl;;.: 1 ! ...
; ii • .i : ,
! ■ Iiir ;
ltiir tin t;. 1
nat imT ih i
tt, m «i i I
Is tin ii
; hat li;*> c.'i
. tho tin.
YVhf. Its.
Oli 0 . tli'
e 1» aviling-housQ
mistress, v.as
toM that
;ht» inspector ot
provision, k
A s.i. L.:
I 1 pounds of
Veal, 92 po:::.
tis of i*oi
;Itry, dii pounds
of hear meat,
*>7 iaml
»s, •» barrels of
peas, and ~a >
1 ) »\es of
iierriiitf, she re
marked: d'i
ettv good appetite; but
nothin nr to myiuo of r.»v
hoarders. You'd
ought to see them when they're good
tod hungry."
AT THE IUNK.
One more unfortunate.
i rent mi the fat s.
I'.csiily inipo'tnuate.
Trie i on the s tat.w.
I'ii k he, up t. mleijy.
1 Bn i li tli" straps.
Fashioned so slenderly,
1 nused to mishaps.
Oh. it txas pit ful
'I list she s lould tlop
Where a whole on v lull
Must see her drop.
Flck her up tenderly.
Smooth out her dress.
Fashioned so sit n lerly,
Ma le to cares*.
Bumpim; inhum-nly.
Jolt inn the men.
She is pure womanly.
And tries i' attain.
Pick her up tenderly,
Wh it do s she care '
Fashioned so b 'nderly,
_, So plump and so tair.
«erc,'lanf Tea,cur.
Hon Ary (1 reef i v used to say that the
to resume was to go right at it and
pt there, without any it's or ands about
"■ (letting home in a crowded street
** r has to be done pretty much in the
•toae wav. *
Great Advertising Feet
"See that row of big water-mains
over there?" said the Captain, pointing
to several hundred huge iron pipes
, piled four or five high along the open
i lot opposite the steamboat wharf.
"Well, there xvas the darndest shindy
in them tubes one night Dst summer
you ever beam. You see, t\^ Daughters
I of Uaal and the Sanctified Sisterhood
of the Shouting Rock of the Ebenezer
Sliiloh- African - Methodist - Episcopal
i Church-South (I ain't likely to forget
the name or the time, I kin tell you)
chartered the boat for an excursion
over to Geeseborry Pint. It was the
all-firedest, red-hottest scorcher of a
night you ever see—and such a lot of
'coons' as kim ahoad—well, I reckon.
They were in full rig-alia—scarves, an'
sashes, an rosettes, an' fancy aprons,
an'all sorts of tomfoolery; the bucks
in plug hats an' shiney broadcloth
hand-me-downs, an' the 'does' in long
black gownds, that brought out the es
sence of old Yirginuy strong enough
to drive a dog out'n a tan-vard. While
they was ashore at the Pint I had all
hands turn on the hoes and rinch down
ti e decks, an' I jess dropped into a
i skift an' laved oil the bone-mill an'
soap-tat works till I got the smell out'n
my nose, lliev'd iifivedanc 'd an' pow
wowed an'rai-ed Xed all id ,t,I reckon,
ef a big thunder-shower hadn't come
up about 1 o'clock in tli mornin' an'
druv 'em aboard. So, at last, I got
'em back here to tli wharve. The
street-kyars had all slopped runnin',
the streets was full of mud an'water,
an the "coons,' most of cm, lived out
in Hell's Bottom, about four miles
across town. So what does they do.
men an women, kids an' heifers, but
pile into them there water mains. You
may believe it or not, sir, but everyone
of them pipes lied a moke in it, an" four
four or five fat old daughters of Zion
that lied too much beam to git into
the slip just dumb up an'
roosted on top. In about two
seconds they was all a-sleepin' as
only a lot of pie-niggers kin, an
I reckon forty dozen church organs an'
eleven orchestr'uns couldn't send up no
. scdi noise as the snorin' that kem out'n
them pipes. \\ ell, you see, there was a
bill sticker what lied come down to put
up a lot of circus posters 'roun' the
'scurslnon wharves that afternoon, an'
got full an' slept all night in that little
gin mill over yonder. About daybreak
lie tumbled out to get the head off'n
him, an' seen a solid wall of niggers'
feet ten foot high and stretcliin' tho
whole len'tli of the block. Now, I put
it to von. what could a bill sticker do?
Well, sir, the darn fool was just mean
enough to paste dumb, an' Miss Eliza
Dockrill, an' the Suckassbin Girl, an'
fat woman, an' trick mules, au' tho
baby elian' all over them niggers' bare
hooves. For. you see, the night bein'
warm they lied all kicked oft' their
shoes, so's to breathe freer, I suppose,
an' was absorbin' the river breeze
through the soles of their feet. Pretty
soon that ere paste up an' dried
tiglitor'll glue, an' then it up an' drawed
an' drawed lia dor'n a poor-house plas
ter.an" fust one brother he sung out,and
then a sister in Israel she got the
power, an' in a minute there xvas 500
nigger Methodists all a yellin' an'
a-whoopin' an' a-howlin' like a love
feast an' camp-meetin' all in one, an'
every one of 'em stuck fast by the feet
to about four thousan' yards of circus
advert Is in'! An' the presidin' elder,
the Rev. 1 homas, surnamed Didimus
Joseph Wesley Saniti.ication Stink,
woke lip with a snort an'a kick, an'
shouted: 'Hallelujah! breddern an'
sisters, de powali ob do Lawd am
a-drawin' at vo' po' soles- praise do
Lawd.'
An' that durned bill sticker was up
on tin*
Washington moniunent, jist a
bustin'
w it h
lari',
but all the same
lot ikin'
out for
a el:
mure to paste .T 11111 -
bo's po:
trail 1
fight
umlei- the big der
rick.
"Yes,
sir; I
will
take a drink; why,
snt'uiy.
But
tliar
ain't no call for vou
to put on no slurs 'bout- what I jes' done
toll'd yer. It's a true bill, every word
of it or I'm a liar."— Washington
Hatchet.
Much More Apt to '*Tako.'*
The minister was discussing the
question of baptism with the infant
class. He was not sure just how many
of the children understood the full sig
nificance of the rite.
"How many of you have been bap
tized?" he asked.
Several of tho children put up their
hands.
"Is there any one else who lias been
baptized?" asked the minister. A little
girl sliylv raised her hand.
"I haven't been baptized," she said,
"but I've been vaceinuated."— Somer
ville Journal.
Brief but Complimentary.
"Been to Washington?"
"Yes."
"See Cleveland?"
" Y os."
"Did he 'point you ?"
"Yes."
"What to?"
"Doo.."— Brooklyn Times.
A Put I'p Job on the Deacon.
"Pa," said Samantha to Deacon Bod
kin, "ma says, ask you to tell us how
you climbed the post."
"Go away, now, gals, and don't both
er me; I'm busy," said the deacon.
"Oh. please, do tell us," chorused
both girls.
"Well, to get rid on ye, I'll tell ye.
It was afore we was married, an' a lot
o' us young fellows lived in a boarding
house together. I was a-oourtin' yer
ma then, an' all the rest was a-courtin'.
Yer ma lived out ter Milton, an' there
wasn't any way to get there but ter
walk.
"W e fellers had an understaudin'
that, as we all went off courtin' Sun
. day and Thursday nights, the one that
got home last must stand treat for the
crowd Now. my roommate he would
allers get in fust, somehow or other.
He had to walk five miles to see his
gal, but he was allers in bed when I
got in; so lie never had to treat. I
couhln t understand it. Sometimes we
felt sartin that he hadn't got home, and
watched for him. but he allers was
found in bed. At last I told him I
would give him a dollar if he would tell
me how he managed it, lor I most allers
had to stand treat.
"Wall, he finally showed me how lie
climbed up by the corner post of the pi
azzey, an' got in the winder, while we
were watching for him below.
"That night was i lmrsday night, an'
I weut to Milton as usual. I wore a
bran-new brown surtout. I got back a
little late, and slipped round to the
piazzey an' climbed up. I thought the
post was mighty slippery, but I just
put in an'got up and w- : to bed.
"The next mornin' i i didn't have
the darndest lookin' su of clothes vou
ever see. They'd been paintin' the
house, and 1 didn't know it, for I didn't
go hum to supper, but went out to
Milton airlev to take supper with vour
ma. New surtout an' all was covered
from top to toe with paint.
"Your ma, when I told her about it,
she says:
" 'Hezekiali. I think you need some
body to take keer of you.'
" 'Ah,' says I, 'Hepzibah, 'spozen vou
try it.'
"An' your ma sticks to it that she
didn't mean nothiu' by it, an' she
didn't pop the question to me".— Alba
ny Journal.
The Iron Crown.
During the middle ages tlie Iron
Crown was the subject of much interest
and superstition. It was a crown of
gold, having inside of it a ring of iron,
which was said to have been forged
from the nails of Christ's cross, and it
was made by order of Princess Theude
liude for her husband, Agilulf, King of
the Lombards, in the year 591. The
crown was afterward given by the
Queen to the church at Monza. Charle
magne used this iron c own at tho
ceremony of his coronation, and alter
him all the emperors who were also
Kings of Lombardy made similar use
of it. Napoleon 1., it is said, when at
Milan in 1S>5, put this crown on his
head, saying: "God has given it to
me; woe to him who shall touch it."
The "great woodman of Europe," as
Victor Hugo called Napoleon, founded
the Order of the Iron Crown, which
still exists in Austria. It fell into dis
use after Napoleon's fall, but was re
vived by Francis !. in lsic, and is n->w
regarded as a high honor in Austria.
The .run Crown was taken by tho
Austria: s to Vienna in 15.>, but was
presented to tlie King of Italy in 1 m', tl,
and is now among tho royal treasures
in Naples. — Inter Ocean.
A Lung Lane.
"Ma." casually remarked Tinder the
other evening, as the two stood sit. the
front gate waiting for l-'itzgoober to
come homo, "what relation is there be
tween you and a lane?"
"Me and a lane?" asked tho lady, a
puzzled look crossing her face. "Why
do you ask such a question?"
"Well, nothing much," replied Fin
der, "only 1 heard pa talking to the
Widow Bileover about you."
"What did they say ?" demanded Mrs.
Fit/, now quit - nterested.
"She told pa that it was a wonder to
her lmw lie managed to get along with
you."
"What did ho then say?"
"He sorter winked at her and said:
'Don't you fret, my pretty lass; it's a
long lane that has no turning.'"—
Atlanta Constitution.
See Naples ami lUc.
Of Naple's 495,000 population, 350,
000 live underground in noisome cellars
that extend far back from the street.
Crime is so rampant that in many thick
ly populated quarters of the city high
way robberies are of frequent occur
rences in broad daylight. The natives
feel that the world owes them a living,
and they are going to get it. Defend
ing the criminals gives occupation tc
11,000 lawyers of the Italian school,
who work for fees ranging from five
cents upward .—Troy qV. Y.) Times.
Though painful and wearing almost beyond ! "Had a cam of Inflammatorr Rhoamatium of
endurance, is not an incurable disease if treat- nearly all the large joints. Gave Tonoaline and
ed in time. Perhaps no other disease has so to-Ggy my yaOent is oat and doing well."
bullied the efforts of science and medicine as W. W. Baxter. M D Henman m
this, but at last a remedy has been discovered in „. " 1
which CURES KHEUMA- *2 ,"7 °P Inion Tonoaus* mpercedee all other
T1SM, and is heartily en . | fl °- c * Ued rheamatje remedies.•'
dorsed by many of the Leading Physicians, i a - Wobeham, M. D„ Marengo. EL
WHAT THEY SAY: I " Hiw® given Tonoauni a fair trial, and think it
"TosOALCra: is doing all that Uclnimed it will do" the best remedy 1 have ever found for Rheumatism '•
G. C. SEiEEiiX, M. D„ Gan trail, Ui | B. F. Davis, Sturgeon, Mo.
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. PRICE ONE DOLLAR PER BOTTLE.
A. A. MELLIER, Solo Proprietor. 709 and 711 WASHINGTON AVENUE. ST. LOUI&
Bible Characters.
Written in the East, these characters
live forever in the West; written in one
province, they pervade the world; pen
ned in rude times, they are prized
more and more as civilization advances;
product of antiquity, they come home
to the business ami bosoms of men,
women and children in modern days.
Then is it any exaggeration to sav,
"The characters of the Scripture are*a
marvel of the mind ?" In our dav
character painting is much attempted
by certain writers of fictitious narra
tive; but tlieir method excludes them
from a serious comparison with Homer,
\ irgil, and tlie sacred historians. They
do not evolve characters by genuine
narration. They clog the story with a
hundred little essays on the personality
of each character. They keep putting
their heads fiom behind the show and
openly analyzing their pale creations
and dissecting them and eking them
out with comments and microscoping
their poodles into lions. These are the
easy expediments of feeble art.—
Charles Keade.
A Personal Query.
"Yon are a member of the Board of
Trade, are you not, Mr. Smith ?"
"I have that honor, madam."
"I have heard that you are a verv
wicked lot down there. Th« 5 y say vou
gamble andche.it each other terribly."
"That assertion is a falsehood."
"And you are really honest?"
"We compare favorably in that re
spect with any body of business men
in the city or country."
"You don't tell me! How wicked it
is for people to set such rumors afloat."
"It is unpardonable Why, I have
been a member of the board ten vears,
and during all tint time I have only
known two genuine rascals on it."
"Indeed! that is really quite credit
able. Is the other one still a member
of the board ?"—Detroit Journal.
They say the bustle is to be very
pronounced again. Only now you
must pronounce it "tournure ."—Oil
Citg Derrick.
En^jerloa* jExcea3eB.ce.
The reasons for Peruxa's superior ex
ccllcnee in all diseases, and its modus op
ernndi, are fully explained in Dr. Hart
man's lecture, reported in Ins hook on tlie
" ills ot I.ile and IIow to Lure Them,"
from page I to page lo though the whole
book should be read and stud-cd to getth.
foil value ot this par crcc.W-ut rcnicdv.
! hose hooks ean be had at ai! tlie drill*
V. 1 ). Williams, U. S. Pension Agent
r..,d Notary Public, New Vienna, Clinton
County, Ohio, writes : " 1 take great
j' ensure in testifying to your medicines.
I have used about one bottle and a half,
and can say I am ahnos' a new man.
I lave had the catarrh about twentv years.
Before I knew what it was, had settled on
the lungs and breast, but can now sav f am
almost well. Was in tlie armv, could get
no medicine there that would relieve me."
Col. E. Finger, Ashland, Ohio, writes:
" 1 am happv to s.iv I have used several
bottles of your medicine called Pfruna,
and my health has been grcatlv improved
by it. I cheerfully recommend Pkruxa
to all who suffer with heart trouble, as
being an invaluable medicine."
Rev. J. M. Ingling, Altamont, 111.,
writes: " My father-in-law, who resides
with me has been using your PERUNA
for kidney disease, which has atllicted him
for forty years and could get no relief un
til he saw your medicine. I induced him
go try a bottle, which he did, and the one
bottle of Peruna and one bottle of Man
JLIN has given him more relief than all
«ae other medicines he ever used."
Mr Robert Grimes, Rendville, Ohio,
writes: " My wife has been an intense
sufferer from chronic catarrh, and after
every other remedy had failed she com
menced to use your Peruna and Mana
LiN. They have helped my dear wife
more than anything she has ever used.
She has now taken two bottles, and is so
much better that she will never quit its
use until she is entirely well. It has won
derfully improved her sight. We think
Peruna and Manalin will cure any
disease."
R. Palmer, Pastor of the A. M. E.
Church, No. 192 Canal Street, Wilkes
barre Luzerne Co.. Pa., writes : " Hav
ingused your Peruna, and by experience
became acquainted with its value, I write
asking you to please send me five bottles
of Peruna and one of Manalin by ex
press and oblige, your humble servant."
Coes Bros., Prospect, Marion County,
Ohio, writes: " We have a good trade on
Peruna, our customers speak well of it
POISON
THE PASTRY
IF
AS - -
0
/tic
f?V!
TTSED.
T.ennin.I.emon.Ornnsp, etc., flavor Cakes,
k <li-llculely nntl nut
--.rally a <4 iiie fruit 110111 11 lilch tliey are made.
'CR STRENGTH AND TRUE FRUIT
FLAVOR THEY STAND ALONE.
PREPARED BY THE
Price Baking Powder Co.,
Chicago, III. st. Louis, Wlo.
MAKERS OF
Cr* Price's Cream Baking Powder
— AMD —
Dr. Price's Lupulin Yeast Gems,
Rest Dry Hop Yeait.
tpoza S.A.XUE BT Q-KOCJBX&6.
WE MAKE BUT ONE QUALITY.
on ( unglis."
Ask for ■'Ruugli on Coughs," for Cough*
i'niils. Sore Throat, Iliiam-uess. 1 inches
He; Liip id
"Kougli on Kilts."
Clears out rats, mice, roucheS; flies
ants, bed hugs, skunks, chipmunks, g#
phers. 15c. Druggists.
Heart Paints.
Palpitation. Dropsical. Swellings, Dizzi
ness. Indigestion. Headache, -Sh-eplessness
cured hy •• Wells' Health lteiiewer."
"SEougli on Corns.'
Ash for Wells' "Rough on Corns." 15c
imick. complete cine. Hard or soft cures,
warts bunions.
"Rough on Pain,' Poronsed
Plaster;
strengthening, improved, the best fsr
backache, pains in chest or side, rheuma
tism. neuralgia.
Tiiiu People,
••Well ' Health Kcm-vfer." restores
h .-ill 11 and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Head
at-lie, Nervousness. Debility. One Dollar
U liooping 4 'o:ik'1i.
aid the many Throat Affect ions of chil
di' 11 . promptly, pleasantly and safely re
lieved l»y "Rough on Cough--'' Troches,
I5e- Balsam, 25 c.
Ylotiiers,
If you are failing, broken, worn out aad
nerv . - us- "Wells' Health Renewer-'
1 Dollar. Druggists.
2.21c Preserver.
If yoin'ri* losing your grip on life, try
'Welts' Health Renewer." Goes direct t*
"Roagli on Toothnolle."
Instant relief for Neuralgia. Toothache,
l-'aceaclie. Ask for-'Rough on Toothachs.''
15 and 25 cents.
fl*i*etljr Women.
Ladies who would retain freshness and
vivacity Don't fail to try "Wells' Health
Renewer."
I'sttari-lml Throat AHecfons.
Hacking, irritating Coughs, Colds, Sore
Throat, cured by 'Rough on Cough#,''
Troches, 15c. Liquid, 25c.
"Kongjli on Itch."
"Rough 011 Itch" cures humors, erup
tions. rin-'-u-orm. tetter, salt rheuin, fro#t
c d feet, ckillblains.
The Hope ofthe A »lfon.
For children,slow in development, pair
scrawny.and delicate, use "Wells' Health
Renewer."
Wide Awake.
three or four hours every night coughing
Get immediate rek'cf and sound rc»t te
nsi tig We"Rough cf Coughs." Treokei,
15c.;Balsam, 25c.
Rough on Pa'ii, ; Par#u#ed
Strengthening, improved, the best far
baekaahe. pains in chest er aide, rkeama
tism, neuralgia,