The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume], March 04, 1893, English, Image 7

About The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898

Image provided by: Louisiana State University; Baton Rouge, LA

                
THE DUEL.
Dicker ftnd Cholly Consulted the Code,
and All on Af'count of a '•She.''
They stood in a secluded portion of
Central Park as the day dawned red
over the housetops. Twenty paces was
the distance, and in their delicate
hands they held each a massive Colt's
revolver such as were used in the days
when men had muscles of iron and
hearts of steel.
Dickey Doolittle and Cholly Chapleigh
were to fipht a duel to the death—with
blank cartridges.
She was the cause.
She is always the cause. Alas and
ah me! as DeWolf Hopper would say.
John L. Pugilist and Col. Illoody
blood, of the Heal, regular United
States army, were the seconds, and
each wore a grim, determined smile, a
frock-coat and a pair of trousers. CoL
Uloodyblood also wore a collar.
A unique arrangement (patented by
Col. Uloodyblood), called the Dude's
Dueling Assistant, held each of the
combatants in place. It looked some
thing like a straight-jacket attachment
to a derrick. It also kept their hands
from shaking and recorded on a regis
ter the pulsations of their hearts.
"Are youse riddy?" asked J. L.,,in a
Chestertieldian manner.
"We are," answered the two auto
matic voice attachments to the D. D.
Assistant, in a deep, guttural tone.
"Fire!" shouted J. L.
"Bang!" went the two revolvers,
"Didn't either of them- know what
killed them," was the sotto voce and au
fait remark of Col. Uloodyblood.
"But," interposed the frightened sur
geon, who was present for purposes of
propriety only, "they are both dead. I
understood that this was to be a duel
with blank cartridges, according to the
strict society custom and the practice
of all gentlemen. You will be arrested
for murder.
"Not much," replied Col. Bloody
blood, proffering a chew of tobacco and
a sinister smile to J. L. "They were
only dudes. We shall receive the thanks
of congress and the gate receipts at the
Madison Square garden. My D. D. As
sistant is the greatest civilizing agent
known to men."
So they all crooked their elbows and
were happy for a long, longtime.—Tom
Hall, in Once a Week.
THE DUDE WAS CRUSHED.
He Had Been Trying: to Give Up His Seat
Gracefully but Fulled.
Were you ever crushed? I saw a nice
little fellow mashed into this collapsed
kind of state yesterday, and I really
felt sorry for him.
He was a polite, polished candidate
for manhood and social distinction, but
he was unlucky. It was on a street
car, and the seats were all filled.
The car stopped, a lady started to en
ter, and "pretty boy" hopped up before
she got her foot on the step, apparent
ly with the laudable intention of ten
dering her his seat. His will was good,
but just then an old gentleman near
the door rose to leave the car, and his
baste was all for naught.
A shadow of disappointment flitted
across his brow, but it was followed by
a bright flash of hope, and he sat down
again. At the next corner almost the
same thing occurred, and the shadow
grew more pronounced, but the hope
ful flash was still on deck.
Two more blocks and a lady whose
avoirdupois was such as would make
two seats necessary for her comfort,
and "bub" thought he had a sure thing
of it, but, alas, poor boy! he must have
been born under the dog star, judging
from his luck, for two young ladies
rang the belt twice and left the car, as
the shadow in its flitting grew deeper,
and the flash of hope panned out poorly
on the young Chesterfield's rueful coun
tenance.
He appeared to lose all heart then,
and turned his attention to winding his
legs around each other and contemplat
ing the panorama of the architecture
that was heaving into sight with pain
ful regularity. Thus lost in contempla
tion that seemed to call out the full
strength of his thinker, he failed to no
tice that the car was tilling up, when
he was suddenly brought to a realiza
tion of the situation by a market wom
an saying to him:
"Say, little feller, if you'll give this
little girl that seat, 1 won't mind stand
ing up myself."
He gave up the seat, and. as he rose,
he seemed to grow smaller, until 1 was
afraid he wouldn't be able to reach the
•strap, but he did.—N. O. Delta.
Where the Difference Was.
The man that borrowed the editor's
money (in small amounts, of course)
an^ came to him for exchanges and ad
vice on his literary efforts was picking
out the papers he wanted for that day.
"By the way," lie said, "I am in doubt
about a phrase."
"What is it?" inquired the editor, be
cause he had to.
"I am uncertain whether to say 'oh,
me' or 'ah, me.' What would you say?"
"I'm—er," hesitated the editor, "that
depends. Ordinarily 1 should say 'Ah,
me,' but if 1 had you in my mind, I'd
say, 'Owe me,'" and the man tumbled.
—Detroit Free l'ress.
Unprofitable Curiosity.
Van Iseliing Coyne—I offered my
wife a penny for her thoughts and it
cost me one hundred and fifty dollars.
Kirby Stone—How did that happen.
Van Iseliing Coyne—She was think
ing of getting a new tailor-made suit.
—Duck.
A Word
To American Housewives.
Author of "Common Sense in the Household.'
Y.—"Do you believe Schiller when he
says that the best woman is the one whom
nobody talks about?" Z.—"I rather think
it is the one who talks about nobody
Plauderecke._______
"When it comes to slush," said the side
walk, "I'm out of sight." "My boy," re
plied the valentine, "when it comes to slush
you're not in it with me."—Buffalo Ex
press.
There is more Catarrh in this section of
the country than all other diseases put to
gether, and until the last few years waB
supposed to be incurable. For a great many
years doctors pronounced it a local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con
stantly failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurable. Science has proven
catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney & Co., Toledo,Ohio, is the only con
stitutional cure on the market. It is taken
internally in doses from 10 drops to a tea
spoonful. It acts directlv on the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any case it fails to
cure. Send for circulars and testimonials.
Address, F. J. Cuenet & Co., Toledo, O.
£^?"Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Mrs Bingo— "Dear, after this you must
wear a dress suit down to dinner." Bingo
—"What for?" Mrs. Bingo—"Our new g:ri
has been used to it."—Clothier and Fur
nisher.
Life Is WortU Living,
Trying as its vicissitudes are, bv those un
vexed by chronic disease. Mainly because
Hostetler's Stomach Bitters fortifies the
system against disease by promoting a vig
orous performance of the functions of the
system, it possesses a wide, general utility.
It promotes strength through improved di
gestion. This is the first, the most essential
step. Subsequently the Bitters insures reg
ularity of the bowels, liver and kidneys.
Malaria, rheumatism and nervous trouble
yield to it.
Caller— "I'd like to see the lady of the
house." Paterfamilias—"We haven't one
just at present The girl went this morn
ing. Can you call to-morrow!"—Detroit
Tribune.
Beecham's Pills take the plnce of an en
tire meuicine chest, and should be kept for
use in every family. 25 cents a box.
"Have you ever had fever and ague in
these flats?" Landlord—"Yes, sir-ee; there
isn't a modern improvement you can men
tion but what we have.''—Inter Ocean.
"Why do they call that daughter of theirs
'Olive!'" "Because a liking for her has to
be acquired."—Chicago News.
Dr. Bull's Gough Syrup SUSI
AHowungSuccess.
FAIRBANKS
CURETTE
SOAP
iOwES ITS REPUTATION an0
SUCCESS TO ITS OWN
_ /CEBITS.
IT IS PURE, UNADUL.TERATED.AND FOR
RAPID Cleansing Power has noequal.
IT IS INVALUABLE IN i^lTCHEN & LAUNDRY.
Sold by all Grocers.
N K- FAIRBAN K & CO*
ST. LOUIS.
I—ELY'S CREAM BALM—Cleanses the Nautili
1 Passage**, Allays Pain and Inflammation HealsI
w-SVrtz H*.-,
K&TARl&fl
ives Relief at once
y into the Koetrile.
Apply inti
Qc. Druggie:
It i« Ouiekiy Absorbed.
its or bj mail. KLY BttCS.,66 Warren St, It Y.
Best of All
To cleanse the system in a gentle and truly
beneficial manner, when the Springtime
comes, use the true and perfect remedy,
Syrup of Figs. One bottle will answer for
all the family and costs only 50 cents: the
large size fl. "Try it and be pleased. Man
ufactured by the'California Fig Syrup Co.
only.
"Did you hear about the theatrical com
pany that got stranded on a cannibal
island?" "No." "Well, it happened, and
the head of the tribe said afterwards that
the test part of the meal got awav while he
was eating the supe."—P. & S. S. Co.'s
Bulletin.
Coughs and Colds. Those who are suffer
ing from Coughs. Colds. Sore Throat, etc.,
should try Brown's Bronchial Troches.
Sold only in boxes.
CHILDREN
who are puny, pale,
weak, or scrofulous,
ought to take Doctor
Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery. That builds
up both their flesh and
tneir strength. For this,
and for purifying the
blood, there's nothing in
all medicine that can
equal the " Discovery."
In recovering from
"Grippe," or m con
valeseence from pneu
- monia, fevers, or other
wasting diseases, it speedily and surely in
vigorates and builds up the whole system.
As an appetizing, restorative tonic ; it sets
at work all the processes of digestion and
nutrition, rouses every organ into natural
action, and brings back health and strength.
For all diseases caused by a torpid liver or
impure blood, Dyspepsia, Biliousness, Scrof
ulous, Skin, and Scalp Diseases—even Con
sumption (or Lung-scrofula) in its earlier
stages—the " Discovery" is the only ffuaran
teed remedy.
If it doesn't benefit or cure, in every ccee,
you have your money back.
Cares Consumption, Coughs, Cronp, Sore
Throat* Sold by all Druggists on a Guarantee.
, J^eina J>erfecto £igar,
4 for 25 cents.
WORTH DOUBLE THE MONEY.
Havana Filled and a Great Seller.
TRY ME, I Aft A DAISY !
Sold only by Sol. Coleman,
MEMPHIS, TENN:
ST NAME THIS PAPER every tine you write.
"Nobody asked us
to take The Ladies' Home Journal ;
been thinking of it for two years."
Bright girls and boys, women and
men, does it not occur to you that
there are millions of people waiting
for you and others to ask them to do
that which they want to do? We
have a plan of increasing the circula
tion of the Journal without the
disagreeable features of door-to-door
canvassing. There's profit in it for
you. Write to us and we will tell
you all about it.
The Curtis Publishing Co.
Philadelphia
| From IfitoSS ibe
smooth. Harm
treatment (.by prac
• Thotuand* cured. Send tc in stamp** t ui i
«>• \v. F. SNYDER, M. I»., Mall Dept. 2A
McVlcker'a Theater, Chicago, 111.
being physician). No starring.
iflllCT IIAIIE Agent* AT OXCE. Sample
nlUOl VIA VC Sashiockt Pat. 1818 > free by mall
for 2c. Stamp. Immense. Unrivalled. Onlygood
ona ever invented. Beats weights. Sales unparalleled.
$12 a Day. Write quick. Brohard Mfg. Co., Fhlla.
IFNAMS THIS PAP£11 aver? time yoa writs.
8 Mnn»y n'lfi'-i rwi ... _
la The Best Couirh Syrup.Pa YY P flupr
El Tastes Good. Use In time. Bl " C U11CI
EH Sold by Druggists. Ej
y 111 Mill III ifljl you a ready
made medicine for Coughs,
Bronchitis, and other dis
eases of the Throat and
Lungs. Like other so called
Patent Medicines, it is well
advertised, and haying merit
it has attained a wide sale
under the name of Piso's
Cure for Consumption. _
It is cow a "Nostrum,"
though at first it was com
pounded after a prescription
by a regular physician, with
no idea that it would ever go
on the market as a proprie
tary medicine. But after
compounding that prescrip
tion over a thousand t'mes in
one year, we named it "Piso s
Cure for Consumption," and
began advertising it in a small
way. A medicine known all
over the world is the result
Why is it not just as good
as though costing fifty cents
to a dollar for a prescription
and an equal sum to have it
put up at a drug store?
W. L. DOUGLAS $3.°° SHOE.
A sewed shoe that Will not rip; Calf, seamless, smooth inside,
more comfortable, stylish and durable than any other shoe ever sold at the
price. Every 6tyle. Equa'.s custom-made shoes costing from $4 to $5.
Other Specialties as follows:
*4.00 & *5.00 *2.00 & *1.75
Flse hewed bboea. UP m k For Boys and Youths.
Police,
Farmers, etc.
&
*3.50
*2.50, *2.25
* 2.00
For Working Men.
BEWARE OF FRAUD.
Ask for and insist upon hnv.
ing VV. L. DOUGLAS SHOES.
None genuine without VV. L.
Dougins name and price
stnmpcd on bottom. Look for
it when you buy.
TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE.
Hand- C
Sowed.
*2.50& $ 2.00 J
For Ladies.
$ |.75 Mieses. ¥
IT IS A DUTJ you owe your
self to get tlie best value tor
your tnoocy. Economize in jrour
Douglas ____ ______
sent the best value at the
advertised, as thousau
testify.
DO YOU WEAR THEM?
oes* which repre
lue at the pi ices
ds can
Exclusive sale to shoe dealers and general merchants where no agents. Write forcata
logue. Ifno't for sale in your place send direct to Factory, stating kind, size and width
'remising to buy W•
Brockton, Mass*
logue. Ifno't for sale in vour place send direct to Factory, stating kiui
wanted. Postage Free. IlEAUTIFIJI* SOUVENIR Free to any one pro
Id* Douglas Shoes when next purchasing. Address W. L. DOUGLAS,
GARDEN
Send for our Colton Seed Lists
We Mall Seeds to Ever, State.
* WE OFFER $50.00 FOR A NAME FOR OUR NEW WHITE EGG PLANT.
FOR ftl.OOt Those sending: us order for one packet New White Egg Plant, price
15 cents, and *5 cents of other seeds, making in all fl.OO, will he entitled to send
name for WII1TK EGO PLANT, for which we offer $50.00. One packet
JACKSON WON HER KEAN sent free with each 11 00 order.
FOR $1.00 we will send, by mail, postpaid, 12 packets of our Novelties and Spe
cialties, worth $1.35. as follows: one each New VV nite Egg Plant (for which we offer
$50.00 for a name) Bnrpees Bush (Large) Lima Bean, Climbing Cucumber, Hender
son's Bush Lima Bean. Jackson Wonder Bean. Peach Tomato, Stone Tomato, Denver
Market Lettuce. Buncombe Cabbage. White Georgia Collard, Celestial Popper, Fat
Horse (Pole) Bean. PEED3 FUR FORAGE CROPS. All of these are fully de
scribed ill our regular Annual List. Send to us for it. The following sent postpaid :
" Orange." or " Amber Cane." ouepound 25 rents; four pounds. $1.00; "White Kaffir
Corn." " Yellow Maize." "African Millet." " White Millo Maize," "Red Kaffir Corn,"
"Jerusalem Corn," ''Conch Pea." either of these, one pound, 30 cents; three and
one-half poundsforfl. " Pearl Millet," "Japan Rice." ' ; Soja Bean," one pound. 35
cents; three pounds for $1. "Egyptian Wheat," package 20 cents. TEOSINTE,
the great South American forage plant, immense producer, 1 ounce 25 cents; one-fourth pound, 50 cents; pound,
•1.75, postpaid. Clll'FAS. Splendid for fattening Hogs. 1 pound, 35cents; 3 pounds for $1. postpaid. By Ex
press. peck. $1. WATERMELON SEEK. Augusta is headquarters for quality, and we sell only those saved
KKW WHITE Kttti PLANT.
Price. 15 rents packet. Koch
purchaser «f a packet ean
offer a name for which we
will pay $50.00._
*ith extrei:
; care. SKK OL'lt LIST. A three ounce package of each of our four finest varieties for $1. Address
NEED DEPARTMENT.
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA.
ALEXANDER DRUG AND SEED COMPANY,
EEDS
O WARRANTED. O
IBest in the World.
By mail, postage paid,
1 cent a package and up.
Grand lot of EXTRAS given
| with every order. Prettiest
' and only free Catalogue in
the world with pictures of
all varieties. Send yours
and neighbors' address.
— R. H. SHUMWAY,
Mil Till UITIV-Tm m-nI71Jnnrtr.Vf.pn - ILLINOIS,
ay-NAME Tin 3 PAI'HK. «tery time job nm*.
LILLY CARRIAGE CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Fine Carriages, Bnggies Spring Wagons
Harncii Made to Order. Repair Work
A Specialty. MEMPHIS. TEN Ik.
MTSAJ« IBIS FAF&& ivnj feme jm» wtilfr
DO NOT BE DECEIVED
with Pastes, Enamels, and Paints which $taln.|
the hands. Injure the iron, and burn red. 8
The Rising Sun Stove Polish Is Brilliant, Odor-1
less. Durable, and the consumer pays for no tin I
or glass package with every purchase. 8
AN ASTONISHING
TONIC FOR WOMEN.
McBLRBE'S
It Strengthens the Weak, Quiets the Nerves,
Relieves Monthly Suffering and Cures
FEMALE DISEASES.
ASK YOUR DRUGGIST ABOUT IT.
$1.00 PER BOTTLE.
Chattanooga Med. Co., Chattanooga, Tenn.
■ ifaURTSHORN'S SHADEROLt ^) 1
Beware ot Imitations. „ A
NOTICE .. °*
AUTO Sg^^^« BEL
the genuine
Hi
JUST TAKE ITU WU f -TI
• IT'LL CUR&-YOU! , Iw aM
Edw. WILDER'S
7^' SARSAPARILLA
S AR5APARILL AS
WtTtf ': Q.UlC:K 1 SAFE. s'?; Re .
■POTASH *"-enry,loukV.
PfliNTQ birmaklmr WELLS. 1500 shapes
rUIR I 0 and Nizes.lDflU PIIUDC smooth
e«t and licul; hnv of dealers. I HUil rUlfliO AGENTS
WANTED. ULKASON A BAILEY BFd. t'O., KEY? I'OltkUTY.
•7*NAM£ THIS PAPER every tasM you writo.
Loumla A
Nyman, of Tiffin, Ohio, make tirst-class Machinery
and Tools for Boring and DRILLING WELLS.
WNAMS THIS PAPEE every time youwnl*
Piso's Remedy for Catarrh is the |
' ist, Kasiest to Use, and Cheapest
Sold by druggists or sent by mail.
I 50c. K. T. Hazelline, Warren. Pa
A. N. K., F.
1437
ffBEH WRITING TO ADVERTISERS PLEASE
state that yea u« the AdvertUemcnt In thla
paper.