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Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, May 01, 1880, Image 1

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-Publisher and Poprietor. BATON ROUGE LOUISIANA, MAY 1, 1880.
Crackers, Stage Planks, Ginger Bread, As
sorted Cakes and Jumbles, all fresh stock at
WINEg-Champagne, Catawba, Claret Saun
terne Port aid Sherry Wines, all of good
quality at DAVID & GARIG'S.
PRIZE CANDIES.-In great quantities, also
Shoo Fly Gum at DAVID d GARIG'S.
K EEN CUTTER-Axes Hatchets, Knives,
d&c:, of the celebrated keen Kutter Co.
Sette at prices which will astonish the na
ýives by DAVID & GARIG.
O ARDINES in Oil, Sardines in Tomatoes, all
Sfind and imported goods at David d Garig's.
OATMEAL-A few 51b packages of fresh
Pin Head at DAVID d GARIG'8.
C HEESE-N Y Cream, English Dairy Cheese,
Western Factory Cheese. DAVID & GARIG
SUGARS-Cut Loaf, best quality; Powdered,
strictly pure; N Y & Louisiana "A," White
and Yellow Clarified, Choice Prairie, and Fair
Open Kettle in quantitIes to sult, at
M ACKEREL Half Barrels Quarter Barrels,
Drums and Kits all fresh from Boston
packers, at DAVID & GARIG'S.
S WEET POTATOES-A few barrels of choice
Yam Petatoes at DAVID d GARIG'S.
IIRE CRACKERS-A small lot of Golden
1 Chop Fire Crackers. just received and will
¢e sold obeap by DAVID & GARIG.
CHOCOLATE-Maillard's Vanilla and Sweet
Chocolate, McCobb's half Vanilla and Cocoa
a half and quarter pound packages at
EUEfIIATEL CHEESE-Two cases nice
and fresh. Price ten cents.
For sale by DAVID d& GARIG.
URE FRUIT JELLIES-l -Put up in new
and attractive styles, and guaranteed Pure
LUM PUDDING-A few 21b cans of this
celebrated Desert for Christmas Dinner.
nd Sets and be happy. DAVID & GARIG.
SPICES, Nutmegs, Cloves, Cinnamon, All.
spice, sifted Black Pepper, Ginger. &c.
THREE ABIES for 10 cents at
H S. LANG, Attorney and Counselor
, at Law, Donaldsonville, La. Will
practice in all courts of the State of Lou
liana. .jyl9
T IIOM A II. DUPI'IEE, Attormey ;:nd
Counselor at Law. Ollice: No. 6,
Pike's Row, Baton Rouge, La. Will
praotice in the State and Federal courts.
E W. & 8. Al. ROBERTSON, Attor
. neysmandCounselorsat Law. Officc
pn North Boulevard street, Baton Rouge,
La. Will practice in the Fifth and Sixth
uIudicial Districts. feb8
H neys at Law. Oflice on North Bon
blvard street, near the Postonic'e, Baton
Rouge, La. Will atteud to all law husi
unss entrusted to thel in this and ad
joining parishes. ftehº
H. M. FAVROT..........I. II. LAMON.
"AVROT & LAMON-Attorneys at
F1 Law. Ollihe on North ltoulevvrdl
street,. Baton Rouge, La. \Will :attendl
to all law husiness entrusted to them in
this and adjoining parishes. felR
(1 EOROE W. BUTCKNER, Attorney
fT at Law, and Notary Public, Uaton
RHoge, Louisiana.
the celebrated factory of Snvers &.
Scovill, Cincinnati. A fine and well
selected stock of Carriages and Buggies,
both top and open; also, Open Carriages,
D)octor' Buggies, etc. PlhaRe examine
stock and prices before purchasing else
HOES, AXES, ETC.-The well known
.I "Lyndon" Hoe, and Planters' Steel
Ilo W, Collins' celebrated Axes and other
branids, Traces and Back Bands, Nails,
Powder and Shot, Woodenware. For
(descriptions of Saddles, including
the latest styles, and Harness combining
lhe l' ewtft illprovoments, for sale at
tlOllt reasonahle prices.
GARDEN SEEDS-Of the justly pop
ular "crqps of D. M. Ferry & Co.,
fresh and genuine. For sale by
hogsbeit} and barrel, or by retail, at
bottom prices, by
FLOUR-150 barrels and4 half barrels
of Fancy and Chlioie Extra Flour, at
the lowest cash prices, at store of
M EAT-Green Sides and Slloulders,
Bacon, and, in fiact, all articles
needed by planters. For sale by
stocks of the above, for sale low, by
COFFEE-In store: 50 bags of Rio
Coffee, different grades, at lowest
SEED POTATOES-In store and for
sale: Peerless and Rnsset.Potatoea,
at store of ANDREW .JACKSON.
Robt. F. Hereford, M. D.,
OFFERS qis profeslional services to the citi
sons of Baton Rouge and vicinity.
Office-Corner Lafayette and Florida streets
Bonecase Building. Residence--Africa street,
between St. Ferdinand and St. Louis streets.
Refers by permission to Dr. T. J. Buflington,
Iuon. A. Herron, Andrew Jackson, Wn. Garig
oev. Dr. Goodrich, Major W. T. Cluverius aid
Mesare. Gourrier & MeNair.
Baton Rouge January 10th, 180.
Having known DR. HIIEREFORD) for many
pears it affords me pleasure to recommend him
to the citizens of Baton Rouge, as a gentleman
and physiolan, entirely worthy of their confi
dence. Janl7.ly) TLEOS. J. BU FFINGTON.
Silver-Plated Having a very large
stock of Silver-Plated
W .AR D.E. Ware on hand, I will
sell the same, for the next thirty days, at a reduc.
tion .f TW~NTY-FIVE PER CENT. Now is
the time to buy TEA SETS, CASTORS, CAKE
DISHES, etc., etc., at a GREAT BIARGAIN.
The above goods are warranted to be the BEST
thatis made. JOHN JOHNSON.
$66 a week in your own town. Terms and
five dollar outfit free. Address H. Hal.
lett & Co., Portland Maine.
and well selected stock at low prices and
fully warranted, at JOHN JOqNSON'S.
$5 o 0ivedo rs free. Addres St
son & Co., ortland Maine. a
ROLLED GOLD JEWELRY, the very best
Rmade. A large assortment at
O LD Daniel Boone-A favorite brand
of Whisky, at David & Garig's.
T O GET BUSINESS, you must adver
tise in the Capitolian.
YE VRYTHING sold at low price, and war
E ranted as represented, at John Johnson's.
$72 A WEEK Twelve dollars a day at
uI , home easily made. Address True t
Co., Anputo, Maine
The undersigned begs leave to an.
. nounce to his friends and the public
generally that he has opened a
 s r.t sand Ost r klon" -
o at the corner of Lafayette and Main
streets, opposite Cluverius' drugstore
where the Choicest Wines, together with
every delicacy in season, to be found hero or
from New Orleans markets. The HOTEL,above
the Restaurant, having been thoroughly repaired
and renovated, is now open for guestse.
C. CREIMONINIT - Proprietor.
rn ,LJB. Board by the day, week or
w. l month. Good accommoda
ý frj tions for travelers. A por
ter will be in attendance
at all hours, day or night.
Red Sticob
(Established in 1870.)
assortment of Drugs and Medicines, Chlem
icals, Patent Medicines, Toilet Soaps, Perfumery
Nail and Tooth Brushes, Fancy Articles, Cufn
lery. Fishing Tackle, Night Tapers, Insurance
Odi, Five and Ten Cent Cigars, Stationery, etc.
Dealer in
Fancy and Staple Groceries
Plantation Supplies, Cutlery,
Wines and Liquors,
Corner L fa3yette and Main Streets,
Red Stick Cheap Store.
Dealer ii
Panlcy Staple Groceries,
St. Ferdinand St.,
Dealer in *
Western Produce, Groceries,
Saddlery and Harness,
Corner of Third and Convention Ste.,
(Established in 1849.)
Agricultural Implements, Paints,
Coopers,' Blioksmiths' and
Carpenters' Tools,
Oils, Class,
(Hign of Red t'hlw,)
harlor, 0 e ni Cookin[ StDove,
And all other appurtenances for Stoves, I
of all sizes.
A large assortmntit of TINWARI , 1
always on hand.
feh8 BATON ROU(;E, LA.
Photographic Artist
O~obRa im s, Fraes, Ses, ltc,, Etc,,
Oorner of Third and Laurel Streets,
B AR. ROOMS and fmhnlies supplied withll
Champagne, Port, Sherry, (Claret cand White
Wlzes; Irish, Bourbon, Oli~oi Blranch, Chicken
Cock and other Brands of WIHISKY: Western
La or Beer, Ale, l'orter, Ginger Ale, etc.
L'at Brands of Cigars lwayas on hand.
J. PILIP BOTT.........Proprietor.
Corner St. Louis and N Boulevard 8ts,
The best of Wines, Liquors and Cigars always
kept oni hand. Customors carefully attended to.
Bott's Livery Stable I
Aijacent to his Saloon.
Will always be ampplied with HIorses and Car.
riages bfor hre at allhours. Feed and stabling
for amimals. Ratea as low as the cheapest.
uctipoeer aP oissionde erchant,
P. O, BQx 84,
Civic and Military Tailor
We have, been friends together,
In sunphine and in q4ade,
Since first beneath the shestnut trees
In Infancy we played,
But coldness dwells within thy heart
A cloud is on thy brow;
We have been friends together
in Shall a light word part us now ?
th We have be n gay together;
or We have laughed at little Jets;
For the fount of hope was guasng,
Warm and joyous in our breasts.
But laughter now has fled thy lip,
And sullen glooms thy brow
We have been friends together
Shall a light word part us now I
We have been sad together
We have wept with bitter tears,
O'er the grass-grown graves where slumbered
The hopes of early years,
a. The voices which are silent there
r" Would bid thee clear thy brow ;
ce We have been sad together
Oh! what shall part us now f
! The Dear Dead Face.
The war I refer to was not one of
those which we have lately had upon
our own hands, but that which a few t
years ago raged so long, so fiercely, a
between the Northern and Southern r
n States of America. It was my for
tune to serve on the medical staff with t
a portion of the Northern army during f
most of that terrible struggle; and it '
is needless to say that many personal t
- incidents came under my notice '
which will never leave my memory. U
Not one of them, however, made so
painful an impression upon me as that
which I am about to describe.
Toward noon on the day after one ti
of the fiercest fights of all the war, a
young soldier was brought in from the n
battle-field, where by some mischance h
lie had been overlooked and aban
doned, while comrades of his far less '
S grievously wounded than he had been v
sheltered and tended before nightfall.'
The .poor fellow had lain all night and ii
L. during the longscorching hours of the I
morning amid heaps of dead, both I
1. mten and horses, suffering from the y
loss of an arm and other wounds. An ia
army surgeon is nqt as a rule a man i
prone to undlie selitinuent or to femi- n
nine softness at the sight of physical I
suffering; and I am not conscious of a
any weakness that makes me an ex
ception in this particular. There, was,
however, in this youth's expression of 1
countenance somiething which struck f
me irresistibly, and with the strong 1i
glance of his large, bright eye, fixed 11
my attention and awakened my eager Y
interest. Hle was a slender youth, tall, e
yet gracefully made, with a head b
which, as the novelists phlrase it,
would bring ecstacy to the soul of a 11
sculptor; and every feature molded to 11
the true type of manly beauty. A s
single glance gave me this suinimary V
outmliune of my patient before I had s
time to ascertain the nature or extent i
of his injuries. A very brief examin
ation soon told me that the life which t
for hours had been ebbing so painful- (I
ly away was w ell-nigh spent; and he i1
must have read the awfill truth in my I
lace, for he whispered to me faintly t
and sadly, as I rose: 41
"Is there, then, no hope ?" Iu
Alas ! there was no hope; but I had c
not speech to tell him so, for some- a
thing was rising in my throat and N
choking me, and a moisture in my
eyes was blinding me, andi the only t
*reply I could give him was a shalke 1
of my head. The brave spirit which c
had nerved himn through the fight had I
, kept him up till now; but now, when ii
tile truth had broken upon himi, there f
spread over his pallid face a look of ii
minilgled d(isappointmnlent and resRigna- i'
Stion which it was painful beyond ex- a
pression to witness. I lost no time ]
in giving him such surgical aid as his t
desperate condition called for and his f
waning strength could bear. I had E
hardly done so when an unexpected i
voice addressed him: v
"My own dear boy! my brave, lie- lI
I rolei boy !" a
The tone was of cheery encourage- i
,, ment, yet feebly disguising the woe
ofa breaking heart; for it was his C
mother'svoice that spoke, and her
lips that kissed his fevered brow.
, Gently she turned back his disordered (
and blood-stained locks, dissembling r
- with evident effort thle mother's J
anguish, lest shte should add another f
sorrow to his dying hour. a
"My mother !" lie crjed, with almost Ii
frantic delight. !!~J it yo my mother? t
Hlow came youmi here? Is it or am I 5
dreaming 7" and as hle spoke he threw 5
his only remaining arni round her neck
Sand kissed her with all the rapture of a
a child. "Thank God !" lie continued r
in snatches, as his tailing 4trerigtl
allowed him-"thank God foi this l
blessed joy, that I see your face qnee
Smore, my'mnothlel. .All4 lat'jight, as d
I lay amid tile dreadful sight' aroulnd n
me, I prayed one prayer in all ny U
Spain, and only one. I prayed that I a
might look once more upon your face, ti
my sweetest mother, once more hear fi
yopur voice. I seemed to pray in vain,
II yet still'I prayed."
"My poor, poor boy," she said; "a c
i curse upon the land that has brought g
you to this !" and her tears at length
broke firom her control.
STo tile amazement of all, there ap
pea!red to be somithing in this excla- k
mation of his mother that stimulated
the dlying youth to a final effort of Q
speech and motion. lie half raised b
himselffrom his bed, and with that a
'unaccountable energy which some- s
tilnes marks the closing moments of '
life, he said: :1
"Oh, no, don't say accursed. You a
' know not the wordsyoun are speaking. a
g Oh !" he cried, after a ipoment's pause f
- "how shall I tell her the horrible tale I
How can I smite her down Witli such a
a blow at such an hour '" and te fell P
ii back exlrausted upon his pillow. The "
effort had been' too much for' him, and I
for some mnoments we .doibted if the U
spirit had not fled. It was only a '
passing weakness, however, and be- -
fore long hlie rallied again. Again he g
- spoke, but with a kind of dreamy e
half-consciousness-at one momen~
gazing into his mother's eyes, at an- a
( other seemingly forgetful of her pres
ence. a
"'truly it was a bloody field" said i
he, "I had been min several hard-founght: b
fights before, but they were a ll chl
dren's pass-time compared with ihat
of yesterday. No sooner had we come
in sight of the enemy, than the ring
ing voice of the General was heard;
"'At them my boys, and do yopr
duty !" what happened after that I
know not. 'Know not' do I say t Oh,
would it were true that I knew not !
Begrimed with dust, each man was
confronted with his. Individual foe,
and if there be fighting among.fiends,
then surely did our fighting resemble
theirs. I was myself wounded wheni
a fair haired man bore down upon me
from the opposing line if line it could
then be called, and I received his
head-long onset with a terrific bayo
net thrust, and as he fell, I thought
of Cain, and of that deed which has
made Cain a name of malediction for
ever. I know not why, but I felt my
self compelled to halt in the midst of
the melee and kneel beside that fair
haired man and look at him. I turned
him over and looked upon his face
hIs dear, dead face. Ah mother, it
was-it was-it was my brother's face
and my own arm had slain him I"
The scene At that moment, it would
not b.' eas to describe. In an instant
the weeping mother's tears were dry,
and her face became passionless as
marble. M,% own emotion which I
have already acknowledged, I took
no pains to conceal. logh, hard
featured soldiers standing by'listened
with abated breath to this more than
tragic narrative, while big tear-drops
welled from their eyes unchecked and
"Yes," lihe continued soliloquizing,
"my own arm had slain him. Dear,
darling brother Fred! I laid my face
upon his and it was cold-that face
which iii my iboyhood seemned but tl'e
mirror of my own-ever near me-at
home, at school, at meal, at play
which laughed when I was glad and
wept when I was sorrowful. Oh,
would we both had died in those fresh
bright days of innocence. I kissed
his pallid lips, I looked into his eyes,
but in them was no responsive glance.
Ilie was dead--.I la4 slajn iItm ' T
very thouight wa. a nburiing mhineis
in my brain. I heeded n'rit the car
nage around me. I thought not of
nmy owi wound '. I vemq knew not
whot rmy. aria was gone. Oh, the
arm that done the deedl deserved to
perish ! Forgive me, oh, my brother!
How gladly would I give my life to
bring bring back thine again I Stay,
friends to do not shut out the blessed
light. Let in the light. I cannot see
nmother." red, sweet Fred, put up
your sword, andilet us p.1y with flow
ers once imore upon this pleasadnt
Andl so lie passed away to join his
brother, let us hope in a land where
flowers bloomt that !ever fade, where
strife and wars are unknown, and
where the mysteries fil inlisunder
stanudings of our present statI'are a lis
pclled by the light that nevt;l dies.
Reverence for' the childless mother's
grief, as well as the many-voiced call
of duty, prevented my making at that
molnulmt the inquiries which thronged
my mind, both as to the history of
this strangely sorrow-smitten family;
and the means by whichl the poor
moither had come to know of her son's
co|nditio|n and whereabouts. I have
often since tried to trace her; but the
search has always been fruitless.
They certainly belonged to the bet
ter class of sqciety, q~ip ] thipk it
likewise oitain thiiat they were diuth
erners. ThIe y unger brother-which
I took himi to be--whose sad narrative
is here given, had probably resided
for a time in the North,and becoming
imbued with the sentimuents and opin
ions that clhalrged the atmnqoApl~eF
around him, found himiuself 'eventually
in thie ranks. In a word, I look upon
the whole episode as one of those aw
fui coincidences of fate which are
generally thought to take place only
in the pages of romance, but which a
wide experience has taught me to be
lieve are by no means unfrequent
among the unrecordcd realities of
"Itve been a thinkin' toqday," said
Col. Solon, as he came into the Der
rick ofice, yesterday, "of my old chum
Joe Blinker. Youneverknowedl him.
Me an' him were cronies in thle army,
an' we were the best of friends for
niigh on twenty years, 'til hie married
the old maid Jolhnson. That kindei'
split the thing an' we ain't spoke
"You shouldn't have dropped the
acquaintance just because he got mar
ried, colonel."
"Oh, I didn'tdrop it. 'Twasn't me,
but 'twas about a present I sent 'em.
You see a few weeks afore thie wed
din' Joe come to me an' sez he, 'Colo
nel, I know as how yer a goin' to give
me soije sortpf a present.' 'Ofcourse"
sez I. 'An',' conitinues Joe, 'ef it's all
the same, jest yer giv' us su'thin' use
fill instead o' ornamental; or ye might
make it useful a8 well as ornamental,'
sez he. 'Only don't give us any gim
cracks an' hitalutins wat don't do any
good.' "
'iJoe," sez I, "IF1 do 'er. Yer sensi
ble to the last."
"This was afore I wuz married, yer
know, and I wuz jest as ignorant of
wimnmen kind as a monkey is of Italyun
opery. Btt thinks I to myself,it must
be suthin'ornamnental as well as useful,
an' I was bound to fill the bill. I
stiudied on tlat present for a whole
week, and 4reamed of it at night. I
started'oncet to buy Joe a boQotj~ik,
all painted qver with yaller and red,
an' then I tlhinks I oughter git sutlin'
for the bride instid of Joe. At last
I bit it. Miss Johnson was skinny
and old-so old she'd lost all her up
per teeth. I saw her laf one day
when I went along with Joe to see
her, an'that 'ar vacancy below her
qpper lip, like a hole where a board
'ad been knocked off a barn, jest jag
ged the idee right inter my head. I
got the miost beautiful set o' teeth yer
ever saw. Nice ivory sot in golPd.
'Joe,' sez I to myself~-'Joe, I've hit it;
useful as well as ornamental.'"
"Waal, when the day sot for the
marriage cue on, I had the rheuwat
ioks an' couldn't go. But I'd. got a
big card printed with the biggest let
ters~,the printin' office 'Compli
ments of Col Solop. to tile Bride,'
along the top, an' then I tied on the
teeth i; the middle of the card, an'
just b~low I put this 'er bit of senti
ment in big ers *bjIIh I writ my
Natur abhors a vacancy,
But 'tin our joy itill
To know thatpeople'*toothles gums
' A dentisfta1t cail f L1
"I tlho't 'twas aveoy n"heat e .tiet
an' I repeated it oves to myself sev'ral
tiues. Well, yer see, I sent that card
up, and the boy stuck it right up in
the middle of the table, just as the
ceremony was bein' performed, an'
yer could read those letters clean
across the room. The nunister . ipw
'eum, an' he jest stopped for a seekund,
an' then went on as if lie weren't sar
tain ofthe words, an' somebody kinder
snickere4, an' the bridelooked around
an' she sa'w it, an'-waal, they dew
say, she broke rite off, an' tore that
ere kard into five hundred pieces and
chucked the teetlhouwt the back door,
an' durned nigh bIoke up the wed
"An' that's why Joe's fmily an'
mine don't hitch; though, skes alive,
he didn't get a present that day that
'ud have improved the appearance of
his household so much as them air
Among all the girls;
The sweetest,
The neatest,
More preclols than pearls,
Net blustrous,
But modest sad kind ,
She's spareful,
She's careful,
And all right is mind.
She faints not,
Sbe paints nos,
Like some foolish girls.
She pouts not,
She spents not,
Because her hair curle.
Not childish,
Not wildish,
Not running here, there:
Not fretish,
Like some young girls are.
Not wealthy,
But healthy,
And alarmingly smart
A dandy
With candy
Cannot win her heart.
Sez I, 'Iz Misther Smith in, Burr ?.
Sez the man with the soger cap, 'Will
yez stip iull' So I stips intil the clo
set, and all of a suddint he pulls at a
rope, and it's the trooth I'z tellin' yez,
the walls of the building begin run
nin' down cellar as though the divil
was afher them. "Houly murther,"
sez I, "what'll become of Ilridget and
the childer, 'which" was lift below
there?" Sez the soger-cap man, "Be
aizy, surr; they'll be all right when
yez come down." Come down is it?
se I ; "and is it no closet at all, but
a hathenish balloon tha4 yei got me
in ?" And with that the walls stop
ped stock still, and he opened
the d1oor, and there I was wid the
roof jist over my head. And that was
il at faveq me from going up till the
hivivns entirely !--Bosfton Trancript.
A lady with a fattal squint came
once to a fashionable artist for her
portrait. He looked at hlier and she
looked at him, #cd both wsre cmn
baEttsqei, lhe spoke first: "Would
yo'0ur ladyship permit me," he said, "to
take the portrait in profile ? There is
a certdin shylmess about one of your
ladyship's eyes which is as difficult in
art as it is fascinating in nature."
A fellow stopped ata hotel in Lead
ville, and the landlord charged himn
$7 a day for live days. "Didn't you
make a mistake " "No," said the
landlord. "Yes, you dlid; you thought
you got all the money I had, but you
areo mistaken, I have a whole purse
full in another pocket."
A son of Erin, who by somne strange
chance got into a fight, recently, was
asked by qn nacquaintance some par
ticulars in regard to tile ffSir. Said
he: "Well, sur, to tell you the truth,
I saw but little of the fight. I was on
the undther side of it."
In thie country: 'My, what a steep
hill! And see those ten or eleven
wretches packed in one wagon that the
poor staggering horse can hardly
draw!' 'Wretches? Them are all
Christians, mum, goin' to the camp
"There are seven and a half men to
every female in Dakiota.! "Well,"
said Miss'Jones, spinster, when she
read the above item. ,'If girls knew
what I know they'd take that half
man rather than none at all."
It was a Qeorgia man who said:
"Lend me a dollar; my Wife has left
me, and I want to advertise that I am
not responsible for her debts."
'Ah, me," said a pious old lady,
'sour minister was a powerful preach
er; for the short time he njinistered
thie word of God among us he banged
the in'ards out of five Bibles."
He was inclined to be facetious.
."What quantities of dried grasses you
keep here, Miss Stehbins! Nice room
for a donkey to get into!" "Make
yourself at home,"' she responded,
with sweet gravity.
Beneath pany a sun-bonnet in the
berry pasture there is a bright eye
and a rosy tanned cheek that causes
the farmer's boy to drop his ox whip
and scale the stone wall, just to "help
fill up the basket," that's all.
A firm advertises 'raw silk stock
ings.' Good gracious, who wants
them cooked.
Keep your nails paired, and keep
paired yourself. 8ingle-blessedness
is an empty mpEkery.
A SnowR Si xoR-rEm) 60,
I aTll PsRA -et3-.Tomra° .i
CoxstaxLATrme MAT*Ibri~ .
The Whitehall (10.].) sasge
off the fol Awing :
Bofy., 16t w6 ild statesman, wh
hs bie ed Idh country for four yearw
as Jstice of "the Peace, give you a
leeitle good sound advice.
Havin been maried gola on 40
yeers, and carrlsntp se sars of pai y
a hard-foughtl little famiy a, leass
antness on my agd,f Ithink P'e
seen efnougltV'of ieaU :npýr totojlt
what kind  tiber* nl ooj e ws t
Ssleeti a wife it's a good deal.
like' buying a hiao You want to see
her step. If she is a giood tquare
trotter draw up your notes sad make
her your property.
If she is one of them critters who
pushes along pell-mell first a trot,
tle a wwslk, then a kinder. dble
shuffle iid~1b kpit,"' iiu
lar attention to mud puddles; like a
run away hosseootin along asitshe
had been gresasd and then shot from
a O10-potid cannon-knockin over
small children as else swkPg, Vxei.Oa.n
roe ai 'lsft, to keep o r ins, not
even stppin to * p 'the  weep
ing eyes and kisa awiiy fB seonrt.
Boy~,' sun sich a stepper. Don't
marry I'' lt its'bin itched to a
beam with a halter round your neck,
or tide to such a woman with a matri
monial noose about you, an old man's
advice is hitch to the beam.-Old
Nick would furnish yot a cooler beth'
than such a femail as I've atei'
If she trots off as if every partieiular
brick was indebted to her, for the
honor of bearing up such exquisite
bein, bringing down the toe of her
Frenel} gaiter in such a manner that
her mouth seems just puckered up
like she was goin' to say : "How's
that for high I
Continually findin fault because the
bricks for her to tred on are not made
of gold instead of mud.
Boys, she haint the critter to hitch
up with.
She woulila't drive double worth a
Besides, you haint good enough for
her, and she'll tell you so before the
weddin guests leave the house.
The poorest cur that ever picked a
livin about a slaughter house, would
be a king to the Ilisbin of such a
peece of furniture.
A feniail' who steps off kickin up
her slipshod heels to the middle of
her back-her shoo strings flyin in
all directions lassooin the lower ex
treigities of hitchin posts and other
beins, deelin out iu her perambula
shuns, shin scrapers to her unsuspeo
tin followers, I would advise you to
let such loose-jinted calikers pass.
If you invest in such stock, button
less shirts, holy stockins, dirty faced
young uns, puddins flavored with
Scotch snuff, bed-bugs and the thou
sand iad one accompaniments of asla
tern, will cqmnbine to made your life
A w)inau with a sudden, nervous
gait-whose feet turn in-when on a
trot she interferes with both feet as
well as interferes with everybody's
businesewhose 'coutenance looks
as if she washed it every morning
with vinegar and ile of vitrol-whose
nose looks as if mortificashun had
sot in from too niuch snuff takin, who
looks on that beest man as a dog on
a peece of meat, only to be to~toRt
peeces and then devoured.
Boys, in thecourse of human events,
such a conglomerate mass of human
matter gets after you, your goose is
cookt. If yorl get weeded to a femail
of this sort, you want to hunt up the
most approved method for washin
dishes, tendin baby, and doin a gen
eral assortment of household dooties,
for such a woman will be off attendiu
wimmens rite conventions, and kickin
up a muss generally until Lucifer ar
rives with his ferrybote to to her
across tile river Stick. .
Boys, havln told you tile rong gait,
let me tell you the right one.'
If the fair promenader steps off
with a g~entle movement of the lower
extremities, her toes turned out, just
sutflishently to tit between her feet,
when standin still, a 3 inch piece of
pie, as she steps off re4qlent with
smiles, as if she thodght thie world
was made for all human beins, adid it
was a dooty we owe to each other: to
shed as much sunshine about u' as
the Maker of all nature had endowed
us with.
With a kind word for all the qillict
ed and needy, a piroiper respect for
the aged.
With a heart so tender, she would
rather step into the gutter, than tred
on a worm that was crawling in her
path; with her habiliments nest, but
nqt gaudy.
The roses on her cheeks sparklin as
if thiy werefast cullers, and warrant
ed to wash.
SHowin as polite to the thredbare
passerby as to the gueen in silks.
Boys, when you run agin such a
treasoor, mark my words, her prise is
above roobies and fine gold.
My advice is, get her if you can.
With such a woman your Ihouse will
be a paradise.
Every button will be in its place,
your puddin free from night cap
strings and waste hair.
Instead of your wife bein off attend
in hen convenshions, and other pore
eyesiss institushuns, she will settle
down to her legitimate bizziness in a
bildin up harth stun, that rill make
the mouth of all hen-Beck husbins
water like tbhitider stqrm in .Jewli.
Gil sueb a ivife, and after bizzineess
hoursi, go'hum to her, anud npt pass
ybur time hangin about corrier gro
ceries and making a confounded beest
of yourself generally.
How foolish for artist~s to represent
Cupid as the god of love, when weall
know that an old stocking full of
money has more influence than forty
Cupids crowded together.
The biggest bustle of the setson
was detected at the Customhouse in
New York the other day. A steam
ship p~wgor d foity yards of
broad I-fob ~wl·gmplT around her.
rC Ohiteetural eqpalt : ' 'li
ile bdin~ . -
thea ot dos"r`n I OtN ou
iasslitn f S
arhitempo rarl woodeq
ofalready given `pat( o
offce buildan no w-t a
abrik anld sk ll
the outskirts, it it t nti.
busiue1 s or-prfeelen. T
setative Amerean.is ntte k
of-all-Trades, towing, `444 pltg,
perhaps, .to-day, teachin -nt1 k
week, next year practietj.
mpwill andertake aa th re ! |]a
for anything, be .e,.
geniu . I have ln Cal
uiof ldn agslfet oad . lt.ee" An'
of Ameria the-8f!e/ c s ridev m H e -
directed the operaoloi surveyom
and bridgebuilde, u as ell ,tl~.l
finance and sn ply mei uenta; fo
the neat settlement, required t
Thbaggage Engtrain selof a small agey. In
varbusiness orkinds -prof skilled labor 1
tive apaerit to nei them. This -a
-as not "brought up.si He cati e np .
perhaps, ;to-day, teaching It ne.
weitynext inpr puacticin. :"law.
His eduratio n embrantced ef li
threay ien, pradine', 'riti' a  -
months in the village .tor, a few
is gtgeniusackl. ay i`havefIn al
more gha t a trade, which n o trade or
et 18 he staint for the hest. Arrives
of a mgne frontier town he tbiek - no
dispecteall fitted but oralooks for hter
perhare may be to do. Let the z 'c
himself whether he is &he exact mla.l
wt fill it. No. He rushes in, amnd
finanwherce nde supply dept he tris a atch
offhere ores, adds one there uil he
the nemaes t settlement, reqired the
yesbaggagted tay and o small armyiption
made up. ply depa
"How muchat" inquiredithe dty.e
various kinds of skilled labor hid
found his tools. His was the txeq''ti
"tie capacity to use them clerk. 'hi an
"Buts not "bI have rougnly fupy-f lie came nts..
His education embraced uierel tfl
three me," readli', rthe ftiai' nd 'iusto
netic That you lended at me Then it for
grapples with the wotrl. A few
months, m saidin the village storn, a few
more atin atrade, win. ch is bandoned
half-learned, A $oyAge q, two to, 4ea;
4t 18 he stuits for the West. Arrived
ii'Buti sie frontier own e to die said
the vcatidn for rIcl li may be
specially fitted. but looks foa very grewhatev
er there may be to do. Let tlier b
an opening to fiwould a ve does noa
hilossel whether he is il exact msp on
t Andll it.mmed No He rushes in, and
where he doesn't ft he trnli a atush
o ther youngor adds one there until he
A been mislandertoot andru before hq
"Hcould assure inquie r t dat thie lbal
"Fifty ance, and not she, woulsaid the clno greatrk
los, she had bounreplied oute fair custo-a
mer; can't you-please gait, td have it forhe
sou cnd of his v ce,'nts w'en yo
the......... 1
rived at Cmbridge, Ohi a very grend at
trloss," wascte the sdmiling attenon of the.
people at the hodiatel by teir loving. cler
and obvthered, from the ligt flher hus
band, while hyoung looked aftr her withad
the te misunderst solicitude. One moh.
couldg, assurt the breakfast table, the little hal
acguests were and stonished anwold be indignant
into the had bounced out delate brides
you-please goldliair, yank her ofd the
souhair, and of srath her face; but they
A paiwere less soeympatheti on trvler arning
rivtha t Cambsir was the ina's wife, at
peopleand that he had el topeird with the
demeanorutiful chastised.ac tler. he
and obviousl my detrained aa tra h
elerband, while he lookedn at the Uniont
not," Was the nderesbtful reply. " sOe more
ingt got the breakfast tableof the railroad cn
guesny on ths were side, and I expect it be
longs to them. Havoe you lost a traiide
aby wheregldb ai k er o !"
hair, afond sermoth her wants to learn sy
way to tell how smpatheticr son will tuearning out
That the chasiy done. the fan's wianted t,
andgo out ad we had the garden, he'll the
"Iout slowlty tand retantly ansd be trawo
ithours gotdressing.ame of he's calleroad to see
quickny on the ide, and probly hurt himself
lotrying to thecom Have down losta train
put on a boot at the same time.
That's easily done. If he'swanted t
go out aou givwe mthe aid, sahe'll tunid a
beggout slowly and benevoleutantly and I, two
hours dr I sh.all ae to resort called to somee a
thicsg wircsh I grot dislikell turno do.ut
qThe lady handedprobly him a dollart imel
trcoyia ionatelo cm e down stairt s itan
put on a boothat theI ba save time fro
ifrai I shll have to resort to some
Work," was the mournful relty.
•i u  ;sS . • ~·C~. ., _ ..,,.-

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